Rabbi Yitzchok Feldheim- Akudim... Insights For Shepherds at Project Inspire Convention 2019

don't go there anybody wants me okay right but test once it's something you it's all good good okay okay and where I wanted to go here okay that's a flagon dudududududu we're filling up little by little start slow one thing I'll try to figure alright I'll figure it out as we dance we do this I got the loss so when you're feeling drained you feeling tired means you had a good Travis since you uh you didn't get to sleep and you ate a lot hmm yeah we're all the same no doc you're not you took a nap today very good I mean nobody took naps it's one it started off saying like this that here we are on eclis this is like the kirov weekend but the whole week because because we have the Cure weekend on Chaves we really don't get to sing one of the most important parts of the kirov world today which is tour anytime which is not possible to do on Travis so much the Chaves we get to have a little taste of of turd anytime at the product inspire conference it's revolutionized kirov in you know the only security fort to talk to five people now everything you say anybody could hear something a crisis and it's the big brussels alright so let's talk this is a sheer net the people come matzah Shabbos after Shabbos instead of like just killing these are the hardcore people so we have to talk about something that the serious crowd thou did it's about Jewish related it's abroad here's the story it's it's a this isn't the regular tour this is would admit pick some some some studies that don't normally get talked about and we'll talk about them in a deeper way let's see what we could come up with it's also the first time I'm doing this year and I was I was really supposed to figure out exactly how I was gonna do it this afternoon but instead I had like 500 fascinating conversations so he'll go gonna do it together it's uh I know what I want to say but I gotta see where it takes you what we'll do well we're on a journey together it's a perfect monster Chavez trip here's the story Yakko is veno he he's trying to figure out what he's with love on how he's gonna get paid what he wants from love on that before he embarks on his life what he's taking with him from all of the the Sheep of lovin swindled him for years and Jakob says he makes the interesting request and it's spelled out repeatedly in the Torah the Torah spends in order to mount an ornament amount of time describing the the selection of how Yaakov wants to get paid and he asked to the sheep is what he says everyone if you're here you probably know what I'm talking about he says he wants the sheep that are cooled in the khuddam of Rudin I want all the sheep that are kuden was like stripes because they're like time darkest striped speckled and spotted and so you got to talk about what a strike speckled and spotted me but the story is deeper than that he says he wants all the sheep from and he not all the white sheep you could have loved on I don't need I don't want the white sheep I only want the spot in speckle them and strike cheap and then yeah what Yaakov does is after you elephant agrees with a wonderful deal goes and he takes a stick and he carves into the stick via fox help ahem pathology peels off the bark and he takes those sticks that he's peeled off the bark oh so I picture it like a peppermint stick and now it's like stripes peeled into the into the park and he puts those sticks where the sheep are are mating and the sheep that gaze at these sticks while they're meaning they all have children that are accrued in the could remove rudin that are spotted speckled and spotted and striped and those are the sheep that Yakov takes for himself and increasingly loved one has less and less white sheep so what's the story so I don't make any claims to say the final word in the story this story like this has infinite amount in Kabal of the sugar of Akutan the coup de foudre is a huge part of the Kabbalah it's the world's that couldn't couldn't brewed them it's different types of period and for our purposes I want to focus it more in a practical the the to learn toy out there at have shots sometimes Tara that's the shot of Tara is the deepest deepest very there are those who would argue I tend to argue that we have a phrase in Judaism so if mice of Mushaf Aquila that the font the end of the end of any journey is is really the first step of the journey meaning in come on we talked about that that Mouse horse is the same as cancer for those who like that kind of language but but what it means is that in any process there are many many stages there's the the guy wants a house he dreams of a house here's a picture of the house that he wants to live in and then in order to have that house he after are contractors and engineers and people who are today you mean you know zoning and and permit uh what they call them not accelerators people of the word for expediters right people look and expedite you know they have all these roles along the way which don't look like a house right but you need a plumber electrician and the builders many many stages along the way the final stage is when everything gets done you have the house that's the original thought the original thought the final thought is saying in a similar way the deep levels of toyota deepest Kavala we find that usually mirror is exactly the simplest purest thought you know that you're getting close to the truth woods think things start to get simple again when things are complicated you're stuck somewhere in the middle you need an expediter you're busy with permits and and builders and engineers walking into the house that you dreamt of and sitting on the couch it's a dream you had that's the final product that's as simple as the dream so this is a taste of that but I want to show you what I think is the simplest meaning of this story on this pawn shop and it will really mirror in any ways what the deepest comp capitalists are saying about the story and you'll judge you'll still understand what I mean when I say it I'm going to tell you about but you're gonna feel that it's I think hopefully you're gonna feel that it's very deep Yaakov tells love on I want the I don't want the right sheep I want the real sheep and the started for this story I I work you know III work with people or federa that's what I work with so everybody gets good at their field you know so people guy who works in stocks see if he can smell when something's about to break and the guy in real estate he knows his good products unfortunately but you get good at in quirós is you get couldn't smelling a Faris like it's not a very useful so you know every day everyone's telling you what their obstacles are so that becomes I don't know how you it's like the most useless skill set in the world to develop you know but but but on the other hand you do get used to seeing when people are are poised for growth or when you can you know the look in someone's eyes when they're starting to change when something's happening and you over the course of time that those are the benefits that I've learned like I I can see when someone's having a breakthrough when somebody's when their eyes naturally why I do it my thrill what am i at that moment when you see someone's eyes right off that they just got it that maybe this is real that maybe the thing they have is beautiful in fact that moment like my whole life told that was fraud and misses the truth why didn't they show me this it's the greatest mean that's that's like childbirth without the pain it's like that's the best world ever you know childbirth with no pain like you know an epidural living likes like that you know like good so what's the this so I had a guy a guy in Lakewood he wasn't from the best people he had a reputation you know there are people who get stuck in things and then the other people gravitate to them and this house becomes the house that you can go to to watch this to go there to do this he was a sweet guy but you know a lot of sweet people get slept into things and and one day I'm sitting in Sheol and looking in front of me and sure and I think it's that guy I didn't make sense that guy is not gonna be in show at this time and the thing that bothered me the most was the fact that he was sitting in the middle of show and it was like it into I I don't even know how I still have said in somebody a few times I don't know how to explain it but it didn't make sense the guy I knew could not sit in middle of show what do I mean what is the middle of so it come to show you can sit in order to sit in middle of school you half-demolished wanna be there you feel comfortable you can sit in the back row sure or you can sit in the front this to plate you can hide me show in the back row with the front row the back girl you're hiding you're not being part in the front or you can hiding it either man you like running the show your little guys huh but to be a humble guy in the middle of school it's you have to be real there's a certain element of realness of humility when you sit and even better if you're not sitting in the aisle seat right the guy who's taking the seat in middle of the table it's not an eye on this side is it yeah there's a certain level of kedusha humility and comfort with your existence that you don't need to be near and exit you don't need an exit row seat you don't need you just there and it didn't fit in my head that this guy was was was there not him I can't be him but I'll tell him it was I couldn't even da Vernon just it was too surprising for me you used to picture people in your life in the place where then would they occupy and it was too much of a shock and the host if I'm trying to look this way he's a really him someone looks like him at the end of governing the guy turns around and it's him but his face is like glowing you look at the guy and he looked at he just looked happy he looked in that place that I felt that the middle of Seoul meant I figured I'll say something to the guy I said to him I said look listen I I don't wanna be but my nose in your business but I don't know what you did but you're like you must have done something huge and in case you wanted some feedback you didn't something you like glowing you look unbelievable so his whole face he smiles he got even brighter and he says you noticed I said I said yeah it goes how did you know I said I knew even before I saw you know how I know because he was sitting in the middle of shul and he listens to me and he thought he like for a second like what does that mean then he says wow you're right he's half the whole thing in two seconds cuz he had never sat in the middle of show before the people have never sat in the middle of Seoul ever ever sat in the middle and he says wow right so uh so so he whatever I gave him like okay I just I just you know gave him a patent that he happened to call me a few days later and he said to me he said he said I seen half these things I like talked it out this is a listen I I we worked up me my wife who worked on a lot of stuff and we're like it's like economics in a happy place we're really good and I'm a little torn right now I don't know what to do and then you give me Nate's if you understand these things tell me what you think so what's the Shiley goes I've been working my Russell yes I'm going to show and like you said I could sit in the middle of school I'm like not trying to be something I'm just real and he said but now I have this eh Sahara that I want to start going to the gym I need to go to her gym he says right I feel like I took care of my rock igneous and now I put on a little pop I feel like out now I want to be in this fashion I want to go next step I want to start taking responsibility for my health also like every night what everything go and now I wanna strike strike I feel like it's the right thing that's like I'm taking the next step says but the other voice in me is saying no me you're hiding maybe this is this is this is too much in the middle of Seoul and I'm sitting too much in the middle maybe I'm feeling too much like I'm part of Lakewood again and I'm getting too comfortable to achievers and I have to start going to the gym because that because now I don't want to be that guy how do I know if it's my age so type of my eighth Sahara if my eighth Sahara talking am I going to the gym because now I want to take more ice for my life or am I taking this is it a setback in my growth am i running back to the edges of the killer in the school of the world somebody said that so I'm making it poetic first year online okay so so I first I said the guys it's important to say that I said I said well first you gotta stop you just gotta like lick your fingers from that kasha like that is the holiest question loyal this is what it means to be alive a dash M that is Hashem citizenship I am and he waits for people to ask these questions this is this question of the struggle of life its I have different voices I want to be part of it I want that I want to run away which voice is talking that's called the middle and show the middle and soul is being marketed this I'm not is a crime so I'm not in the back I have both voices in the middle me you're halfway to the music and you're halfway to the door you're right in the middle each one is just the thumbs and this is the holiness question don't get don't get an answer so fast you sit in the car you wonder and you talk to them this isn't easy to agonize over what is served in that what's hiding this is this is the pinnacle I said Bella my sir you need an answer as far as that's I don't really I said it's a great question and the read is a real answer to the question but the ads questions not gonna help you the answer to the question is how active do you know how do you know if you're running away everything could be both there's not a thing in the world that's not both you can go to show in the morning cuz you can't wait to talk to the by Elham or you can go to show in the morning cuz you don't want to have to fit those boots over your kids shoes it's like the heart is no job like putting boots over kids shoes it doesn't work mittens over fingers and and packing snacks and signing late no Mitzvah notes I'm running I'm running the show you take care of all the easy stuff right so are you gonna shoot this running out of how's he gonna show because you wanna you want to talk touch them everything in life is questions so this is the question for how do you know the difference so I told the real answers not gonna help your real answer is go to the gym and if you feel good afterwards then you were growing if you feel ashame you feel a little sick in your stomach and like you just moved everything then you it was the wrong thing we always know if what we did was was running away or was living if you were living then you feel proud and you feel hotter than you from yesterday and when I see you and sure you'll be glowing more and more people will come over to you and say what did you do and if it was running away you're gonna feel ashame that no one's gonna say anything to you they're gonna look at you like you you're exactly what they expected you to be I said so you don't want to do that cuz that's already the setback you need an answer to know before you do it I don't have an answer for that I haven't maybe I have the gimmicky answer I thought I said tell your gimmick but it's not it's useful in the philosophical a practically don't think it works my I told me you'll sit in the car said you have to ask yourself when do you started feeling good if you feel good when you get to the gym and you're on the machine then that means you're taking a hiatus for your life if you feel good as soon as you put your gym bag in your car and you close the door and you leave your driveway then you're running away from responsibility when does the joy kick in when does the thrill start when you get there if it starts by the its SIA then it's about a good senior if it starts by the Lisa but if it starts by the exit from the house then you're exhausted the joy starts at the entering the property then you're really living that's what I told them it's not a perfect answer because you could enjoy the journey somewhere holy I could start feeling good that I'm on a journey to improve myself so but that's right um the reason I'm bringing you this story is to to solidify this picture of the middle of Schewel is the real people the scythe army are no Jewish artists and the holiest words natira the Yaakov Aveeno is going to be the shepherd of cry yourself the one thing he wants to build his Klaus role with are the sheep that are spotted speckled and striped what does that mean he wants the Sheep that black and white because every single thing in the world is black and white there's nothing that's truly white no one's perfect no one's perfect Russia no one's a perfect Sonic there's no such thing inaudible it's a Shelly after there's never been a person who never didn't a vera and there's never been a person who's called cool around everybody is white and black if you see someone who's totally white you know what you're dealing with a person and constantly faker and a liar you'll recall that in Hebrew a rabbi who gets the white sheep who's the RAM I love one what's his name mean white and Rabbi are synonymous if you're white you're around my means you're dying you're here you're bleaching yourself you're bleached there's no one right love and Jakob says all the white sheep all the fakers you could have all the white sheep there's no such thing as white people there's two ways that people hide people are fake in two ways one way is we act all white on the missile hunt and one way is we act or black in the back row we say Reb you don't waste time with me I'm too far gone you know that guy the guy you hides by being black some people fake right and some people fake black but some people think they're old Cardy command some people say no I'm a total Russia don't waste time on me the trick in life is the ability to admit to both of them to admit to your black and to admit to your white this is the step one and now once we understand this is what's meant by academically safest Jakob is asking for all of the stripe spec for every sheet that's that knits that it's black and it's white what's the difference between that could in the code move Rudin so the simplest way to say I don't want to get too bogged down I want to leave I like to leave a little room for creativity for everybody else you'll take this home you'll figure out what the three represent what is what is the mixture how what are the three different mixtures of good and bad in people what does it mean that you're striped what does it mean that you have spots and what does it mean that you have speckles so I'll give I'll give you a simple way to start you you could welcome to improve on it striped is where we have consist stint areas we're good and consistent areas where I'm bad I'm sorry I'm strike I'm great at felis I'm not good at learning I'm great at patience I am very patient and and still but I'm not good at things that need you to Schmitz I have a temper but I'm really loving we have consistent things things like well-defined lines of kedusha and Tyra that's called striped spotted is where we're good guys call cross code we have some few glaring flaws a few blotches in the middle that that Marmite personality a few big things that that get in the way and things that I've done the things that I do and speckle to the guys who are really really good and have a lot of little imperfections all over little little dots here and there they add up together to a nice little black patch but they're all spread out of little things nothing huge a bunch of little things you know I whatever you can imagine well you can I don't I'd like to leave this to you tiresome there's not the scope of my thing Stage one is I just wanted a simple I wanted to illustrate the ability to face that you're black and you're white now I want out go talk it this year is to get to hat what the skills do we'll see that in a second I want to stop and do it deeper the part two to leave I couldn't the coup de Madrid them for a second and go somewhere else in the Taira that I think describes this unbelievably we have a mitzvah called VD my sir you know you know the myths of either my sir the Mitzvah video my sir is every year you have to give certain tithe certain 10% of your crop and you produce your partner so you have to give to stock up that's talking you have to give out every year you have to give the lady 10% and then for two years in every cycle is a four-year cycle for two years the first two years you have to give the lady 10% plus you have to have what's called Meister Shaney my so Chaney is will you take off another 10% so 20% and that 10% is you don't give it away you have to eat the nutritional line and you keep it for yourself you have to go to or you can you can you can take that food and sell it and bring that money through schleimann buy things earlier but that money has to be huge like the third year is mysore only got to give poor people so there's three different nicest little AV to yourself fuchsia lime and Thanh Liem let's spread out of the three years when you finish the three year cycle meaning you gave all three myself you got rid of you gave the money to the LaVey you took care of your shall I and stuff and you gave the unnie so you've gone through the entire cycle you spend all the money and the true money everything's of the play that you came to the bay something gush and you made a statement in front of I have a beautiful statement called VMI sir I come I say I say - am the arity Hakodesh mean abayas I've removed all of the holy things that are not mine that are yours alright all of my applications have been done there's not a penny on me that's not mine I think the word be our tea is the same word we used for removing the comments from your house a very strong word I removed the comments I removed all of the stuff that's not mine I am left clean from all from all imperfections I've done everything else to do and that's anything - am and now therefore hashem hashkee from the Mayan culture club look down from Shimon and bless us that we've done our part now you do your part and you take care of us because we did what you have to do it's a beautiful statement the shocking thing is that what do we call it V dream I said what's the morning meaning of the word VD admission where's the vive here what we know what V do is a sham but God look this is Venus the opposite of visa this is a statement of purity a statement of Turkish so what's the turrets so I'll tell you a quick story just just to illustrate turrets stories it doesn't fit so perfectly but I think it fits I told a little bit of someone else's doesn't fit with the story I I'm gonna take its name I think it fits okay so why sure I could do it anyway but you'll tell me even fits I was talking to a table my we were talking you're learning and claps in smart guy we're talking and we get to his house and I say and III think you better go and you'll tell me tomorrow because we're walking through talking about the way and we were a talking longer than we should have and it was very late it should have been home earlier so Kate laughs I said go in he'll tell me they'll tell me later what what do you want to add to it I think us no no let's talk I can't go an hour they have to wait till my wife is sleeping I said why he said like whatever you know I said something before I shoulda said is she's angry III feel ok now it's not gonna be good so I said what do you mean the family said you gotta like he goes whatever you don't know what I said he tells me what he said he goes yeah it's not so good hey maybe you have a problem so I said I cannot run away from it why are you just saying what you have to say don't even say what I have to say it's very very very simple you know what you have to say he goes what do I have to say you go inside and you say listen I know I said something terrible and I can't take back what I said I'm sorry hopefully I won't you felt my turn again but I just want you to understand why I said it I said it because because I come home from work and and and I see you doing everything you have to do and you're you have a job and you taking care of the kids and you make supper and given the kids bath and you're doing everything and I felt guilt I feel guilty and because I'm not doing everything I have to do I'm having a few too many coffee breaks during the day and I'm not doing what I have to do with the full intensity so I come home I I feel I feel guilty it's very hard for a guy to live in this house when he feels ashamed like it's not carrying his weight so I had this need to find a concern than you so that I could walk around for you I knew that I needed to say something I needed to find the Catherine so that I could I don't have to be ashamed I don't the walk feel like all guilty in my house so I was only saying it because I recognized that you really I said keep what you're doing this you're telling her that what you read this is what it means done based Lazarus Christ you're learning you're out there and you're saying that what you did wrong really came from a good place you did the wrong thing but it came you're really telling her that that what what you that that the I said something bad that it really was my negative way of expressing how how much I respect you and how you're doing your thing and and I said what you hear is that so so you being real you're being honest you're telling me what it really is and your son he goes that would so work I said I said it's the truth so go say it because I could never say that so I said why can't you say that so we all understand why can't you say that what can you say that why can't you say that like men we don't why can't we say that it wouldn't work wouldn't work in all our lives it would work perfectly so why would we say it because once you say that you just closed your emergency exit you just sealed it you you admitted to something that you have to live with now the truth that you admitted to one so I admit to that truth that Avenue was closed to me the reason why I think this story fits is people think that Vida is admitting to my cursor on ice Hashem Omarosa sham I did something bad Hashem please forgive me that's not me though it's not so hard to admit to figure out Harris you know children children are scared of the dark but nobody tells us is that adults are much more scared of a light and the kids are of the dark adults like the dark the dark is an excuse to not perform so well the dark is an alibi the dark is a built-in defense why are not performing well the right scares us because the light we have to perform in the light is expectations I'm not so scared of my flaws my floors will leave me of pressure I'm scared of my abilities my ability scare me much my flaws to admit to your truths is much harder to admit to your lies to save video Hashem I did something wrong it's a little shameful you know what real video yes they say Hashem you know how pure I am the RT I carry this with our audience I'm exotic I'm clean you know what happens when you admit how good you are your whole life becomes life of obligation now you just stepped into the big boy world you said he named me Here I am I can't crawl out to the back and say am I not be the guy was picked anymore I just chopped it myself that's the real video real video is not to be mind it to you're black it's to be married into your life it's easy to be mugged it to the black it gives me excuses why are ya I'm a EDD that's why I care I can't really write anything right I'm this some that we all know all of our titles that absolve me from from whatever the hell supposed to do right I'm not knocking oh really a DD I just III it wasn't invented yet when I was a kid so I escaped that title right definitely would as I was like poster boy okay but here this is the real video it's such a powerful idea the real this is the real VD or sha blue became like terrible things no we doing my sir Hashem I'm older than Antarctic I'm older than half Clayface and that this is what we mean when we say Kazak VII maths what is the meaning of kazakh the amounts be strong and be courageous what's the difference between kazakh and maths being strong and courageous strong is what you need in the dark strong is what you need to face your flaws or strong man can face the dark a strong man can face this was courage is what you need to face the light an immense sacraments don't be strong and courageous face the dark face the light courage is far more powerful far more risky than the courage to face like so we need to admit that we're black and we're white we have to admit Tarkus rightness I gave the speech that this little little part of it I gave on Yom Kippur I told the value we sit into the shamaness do all the regular samples but make sure to add in one little one little admission of all of a mile of yours and tell me which one's harder to admit to what you're good at because then you create the expectation so that said so now we need to get to the big question we are all everyone here is a code in the khuddam of ruin every one of us fits into one of these splatter patterns where might that word tsadikim I'm reminded that we were show him we're not great we're both I have unbelievable things about me and I flaws about me I'm black and I'm white I'm like every other Jew I'm a real sheep though the white sheep don't exist the white sheep I roll with around my love and there's no black sheep there's no white sheep there's only spotted speckled and colored sheet so the question is is how do you get people to be mugdha to this do you know how many people are magnet to this not many you go to most shoals the window see the aisle seats like any airplanes you know nobody's taking the middle seats until until all the seats are taken right I mean usually in the shoulder when all the seats are taken there's no stewardess telling you to sit so no one takes the middle seats everyone stands in the back or in the coat room or in the kitchen right or outside so the the point that this year is all of this was that was the lead-up to the question so how do we get our sheep to be mightor that they are black and white how do you get them how do you get a sheep this was the fakers there's no use of them people who are living their lives not real there's nothing you can do a person is not real they're just hopefully they'll survive long enough to Hashem is ready to make them real and then we can talk to them and hopefully they're not too old too often there years old when they finally get real and they've been through so much Tower now they realized and what do you do now it's too late so yeah Calvino is establishing for Claudius row before he starts not what he's done before he starts he has his kids they're young that's gonna happen he didn't even go yet and leave lumps out he's about to leave on his dirty the first thing he has to establish is how do we get how do we weed out the white from the coloreds so here's what Yaakov does he takes a stick and he peels off the bark and he puts it on the ground and when the sheep look at it will the sheep turn out spotted speckled and dark what's the story so I'll play with the story is what is he doing you take a stick and it's stick and you peel off the bark and you create this peppermint stick black and white black and white black and white right because he peeled off the bark and inside it's ripe and you put it down you put it in the ground and the sheep come so the question of life is is when you see something that's black and white is it black with white stripes or is it white with black stripes what's a zebra it's a zebra black with white stripes or white with black stripes what's the answer okay fifty-fifty oh yes you know so this is this is the question this is the question the world needs to ask because the reason why people cannot admit that they're black and white is that one answer you know the answer is because we're afraid that we're really black with white stripes I'm really really black and my white is the fake my whites have to real me I went to chakras because I didn't want to be throwing a Shiva I learned because I wanted a little comfort really I'm through and through really not colors and all my mitzvahs I was white on top of black no most people are not thinking that they're black on top of that they're white they're the white is really black Samael that's the question if you want sheep to be murdered that they're black that they're white and the black is this is the is the aberration when someone knows that then the be real the secret to getting children and anybody to be real is the second they realized that my truth is the white so what is the goodness of Yaakov Yaakov takes a stick and he peels off the bark and he puts it down and the sheep all look at something that's black and white but there's one hidden shun Yakima stick it doesn't exist in all the sheep what's the finish in Yaakov stick yakko stick is three-dimensional and you see the black and the white what did you could do he showed all the sheep that when you see black and white what are you looking at you're looking at a white stick with black part look I peeled off the black and it was right under it and every sheep that looked at this thick with the white under the bark and they saw that black and white is really white with just a black part and really it's white every sheep that saw that came out I told them to go to the room they were all right there - that they were then you are free to be real and 10 min to your - annual service witness the secret of getting people to be minded that they're black and they're right is that how color that moment of recognition when they know that the white is there a mess and the black is the extra it's just bark this lawyer says somebody asked me consonant you've heard some nice but it doesn't get with this lawyer is right for knows that's lawyer that says that you active did with the stick was a sacred - chillin so what can be rules black and white had to be only black because film you know there's any why he done chillin it's muscle so he said it's a rally that we things not sure I said in that what happened what does it say you're mean that it would like tell him well how does my chillin the Sawyer was talking about that Phil and she'll yard he made a way to know and she'll yeah it's black and white stripes it's exactly what I'm saying and this all you're saying when you look at your children on your arm what do you see every single day we tie their arms what's gonna let me go through the day with Kyle yep how am I gonna go through a day with bro am I gonna embrace my life and be real and look at my arm and I see that my arm is black and white and black and white and black and white but I know that the right is the real the blacks on top of it and when I walk through life I know that I'm white and all the black is extra then I am then I'm willing to embrace my truth that I'm black and white I'm not forgiving my neck I sit in the middle of shul and I can be a risk together like a real person that's a secretive film and this goes vital to all the halacha stuff you know me luck as you can explain of saros there's a haka that all you seeis have to be in lucasville a letter has to have white space around every Orissa Catholic connected every letter that's black you have to always know that it's an island the black in the middle of the white when two letters are connected then what's black or is a white what's one it's always black on the island of light if over two ladders are connected you lose that message no to one little splotch of ink and possible say Vitara a person has to always know that every blackness in his life is an island of black in a true yob of white real my host is white I want to show you this message similarly in a different place entire of beautiful places I said before the review of a story everybody knows but nobody realizes how complicated the story is all the macabre through their first set the first time that human beings had ever been black and white at the same time they're in gonna need them and they eat from the tree what happens when I eat from the tree that keeper calculate a nation am the I their eyes were opened by a Loki a real name they both realize that they were they were they were they were a rumen values for Ali to a NEBOSH lehem cargo race they they they wove together they sewed together fig leaves and they made belts for themselves everybody knows all the macabre main cargo your ice belts from the a latina here's what says so you gotta follow these cooking they they realize they ate from the tree their eyes were opened they realized that they were a rumen they meaning they sewed together fig leaves and they made belts by ich muss carl hashem elokenu shotgun then they heard the voice of Hashem walking in the garden-like Ruahine by the whatever that means the rule out by the rule of the day by your sobbing or destroyed may Hashem Allah came the seconds gone and they went to hide they heard the voice of Hashem and they went to hide amongst the trees of the garden and Hashem calls to Adam and he says the famous words I Yakko where are you and all the answers as Carlos Zarate began I heard your voice in the garden the era hear me lately and I was afraid with the Ragman I was a mall room they robbed me and I went to hide and Hashem says meheecan also who told you that your arm how do you know your arm then you eat from the tree and he says so and then I shall make some clothes price or value bution Hashem makes them clothing of skin and he dresses them in the clothing this is the story let's go through his stories quickly all the mccarver eat from the tree and they realize that there are room and therefore they make for themselves clothing from fig leaves and they cover them said they make belts out of fig leaves when they after they make the belts out of fig leaves he hears the voice of Hashem in the garden and he gets and he goes to hide because he has the voice especially garnish Evan says where are you since I heard your voice I eat I heard your voice in the garden I was ashamed that I went I was scared I went to hide I was ashamed and I shouldn't they make some clothing of or that he shouldn't be ashamed of the emotion the Ahram sowhat's it's an interesting story what's wrong with this there's so many issues here all the Mikasa while in Hashem have to make them clothing of are they ready had clothes and they weren't or many more what they do they made clothing at a fig leaves via a stolen car girls they made themselves clothing so why don't harsh em have to give him a costume I saw they already had clothing so what's the answer to that question from what I just read you the answers obvious they made clothing they heard the voice of Hashem and they went to hide and thus he was embarrassed so obviously the fig leaves weren't cutting it they weren't working right he felt harem they made belts out of fig leaves they made the belts and then they went to hide only after the belts so that's why Hashem had to make them I saw her because the fig leaves were broken that didn't work so then the question is so what were they thinking the fig leaves they made them they didn't work so what was the purpose of the fig leaves isn't a waste of time what's the message of the fig leaves so what's the answer the answer is sort of what I just told you you know in a different way you'll see it now straight out in the trailer the stereo message well they could sink in just a little deeper it's what's the difference between clothing and a belt we had to find the difference between dealing with the problem of being Oram one way is to put on clothing and one way is a belt how is a belt dealing with oral as opposed to a clothings way of dealing with orem so there's two ways to deal with any failure any blackness in my white if I find some blackness in me so one way is the ideal way is you deal with the black if the problem is that your floor is that your Oram so the answer is clothing another that's called fixing your problem that's called chuga chuga is if whatever your problem is fix it the problem is you're not dressed right dressed right that's what clothing would be but it seems it there's another way to deal with the problem which is fascinating this problem this issue is called hog erase belts how does a belt solve the problem so what a belt does is a belt doesn't do anything really but what adult does is it separates it's a match it's a-- it's Heights eights it divides what it says is yes you know what I messed up I have some black in me you know what but that's not the whole me I made a tourniquet I quarantine it it stops here just because I have a cesarean doesn't mean it's the whole me I am black and white it doesn't mean that I'm all black this such a thing is being both a belt says there's two parts of me I built a wall there's a wall and now all the guilt from this side of the walls not gonna cross my wall illegally I think over the part of me right I'm protected I'm protected I don't have to allow all these things to cross to my border I failed but that's not the end and all the way to deal with Orem is either to cover the Orem and then you find or to quarantine it and isolate it there doesn't take your whole personality and they don't curl up into a little ball of shame and see myself as black and sit in the corner of shoulder rest of my life I can still sit in the middle of Seoul because I'm not a Russia I'm black and I'm white and that's what the belt does so the question is then write this question is then but what happened so this is a riot again for my whole speech my whole speech was was that when you're black and you're white so then you can face life but what happened to all them all of them went he made his cargo a race he created this thing that says you know what I'm black and white I didn't have there up it's not to hold me doesn't spread to my whole goal and then what happened he heard the voice of Hashem and he went to hide in the bushes and he was ashamed so it didn't work this whole philosophy of being black and white doesn't work you see my question I said not to make him your clothing so what's the answer Lance's the deepest of the deep not the answers of the macabre a geometry the valley a Duke a room name they realized that they were all wrong and they made CarGurus and when they made cargo rice they weren't hiding first why they weren't they hiding first they made Hungary's they didn't hide after the hugly race they put on the belt only now they first fell now they heard a chef's voice and now they went behind what's the answer the answer is that is there's not two options to be ashamed or not be ashamed to be ashamed or tar I mean the course there's a third option note the third option is the third options even lower there are three sides of the year what are the three sides at the end by showing them rocks monument going wait life we have Busha we have compassion that we do festered how is boosah scientific it isn't boots are a bad thing shouldn't it be someone who doesn't have bullsháá we do good what does it mean that we're by Sean them how is by Sean the good neither the answer is by Sean them is a good mean the relative to another option with your husband yeah can you have others and you do things were only not even ashamed you you ignore it I'm not ashamed right Boyan I named my kid Nega you think I'm - another I mean my kid I'm proud of it that's also that's hutzpah others right this is a third option I can beat or pure no Busha then I can have Busha and the worst option is I'm good Metz officials don't know that that Alsace of someone who has no shame and no butcher brazen called brazenness that's the worst thing so what happens is when is somebody praising nobody wants to be brazen why is bullsháá the sign of a Jew because brazen this is what you do when you don't believe you have any tickin if I'm all black then I have to be brazen when I realize that I'm allowed to be black and white then I don't have to be brazen and then I can face what I do and that can become ashamed I can only get to the point of shame when I know that I'm not all bad this is what happened to alderman carra Univera and they really did something wrong and they put on CarGurus and it was only once they were wearing the Haggai race that separated the set from the rest of them and they realized that I'm black and I'm white that's the first time they heard Hashem his voice in the garden only after when you don't have the belt on then you can't even hear Russians voice when you don't believe this anything good about you you can't hear anything holy because it's too threatening it doesn't reply me I have no hole first you have to put on the belt wasn't broken they put it on the belt the belt doesn't get rid of shame the belt allows you to face the shame the belt allows you to get over that blockage the belt allows me to go here the muscle shear the belt allows me to walk into Sheol to hear the voice of a chef in the garden the first thing we need is to put on belts and to know that all of my are various there are various but it's not the whole knee I'm black and I'm like there's still white here I'm really white with black I'm both as soon as you realize that you have your belt on then all of a sudden now you hear the voice of my shell in the garden you can allow yourself to hear it because you could be ashamed because you know that ultimately you're good you'll have to give up and then you can go hide in the bushes in your shame and then our Shem will help you give you real clothing then you'll reach true slavers and through time chitara chitara and shoosh limas comes when you when you become shali when you embrace all of your whiteness but nobody ever got to whiteness before they were able to be murdered to the whiteness and their blackness and the way to be molded to both is first step in cargo race this is our mikawa the hilarious weren't for nothing the surgeries were worth specifically at this point you have to know that you're black and you're white and that's when life begins that's when you can enter shul and sit in the middle and then you can really dive in and then you can really hear the smooth within the createrra you can embrace all the things in life and feel all of your real emotions Busha is an unbelievable achievement we live in a world where Busha is rare not because our Labor's are rare things that should make people do shall have never been larger but blue shares almost non-existent because everyone just believes they're black everyone gave up and therefore they can't even begin their journey by faced in their Busha the first step in holiness is to embrace the Arusha and the way you do that is to know that I'm really white and black I'm a crude in the crude intruder maybe embrace our multi-coloured selves and maybe therefore go from there mikail or coil maybe progress from the belts to the customers all of our be same maybe leave all the bushes and dance in the garden or join the raha join and experience the all the beauty and the inspiration that that my college world has granted us to experience the walk