Rabbi Yitzchak Fanger The Project Inspire Convention 2021

Thank you very much. You will see a project inspired for me. It's a very big I'm a little bit a little bit nervous, okay? I'm Israeli, so my English is not so good. You know, have mercy on me. And I'm supposed to tell you my personal story, okay? So, um I will start with a with a question. Who is the worst enemy of the person? Mhm? Himself. Okay, yeah. Of course he's supposed to get tell me the evil inclination, but I didn't met the evil inclination. Evil inclination, thank you. Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you. So, the person himself is the worst enemy of himself. Was a young guy, was walking on the street. He saw a sign above a clinic and the sign said, "I can cure every every disease that you have. If I will cure you, you will have to pay me 50 shekels. If I won't be able to cure you, I will give you 100 shekels." This guy said, "I can make money here." He came to the doctor. "How, doctor? How are you? Please help me. I have I have no sense of taste. Have no sense of taste." The doctor said, "Don't Don't have any sense of taste? I can help you. Assistant, drawer number 24, small bottle, three drops on his tongue." The assistant is opening the number 24 drawer, small bottle, three drops on his tongue, AND THIS GUY, "DOCTOR, THIS IS FUEL!" DOCTOR SAID, "YEAH, your sense of taste came back. Please pay me 50 dollars 50 shekels." The guy said, "All right. You know, he took from me 50 shekels. I will come back tomorrow and give it back." The day after that he's coming. "Hi, doctor. How are you? Please help me. My memory. I don't remember anything. Who are you? Who am I? I don't remember anything." Doctor said, "Don't remember anything? I have something for you. Assistant, drawer number 24, small bottle, three drop drops on his tongue." This guy, "No, no, no, doctor. Is it fuel? No." And he remember he came back. "Please pay me 50 dollars." So, you know, he took from me 100 dollars. Tomorrow I will bring the money back. He came back for that. Doctor, where are you? I cannot see you. Where are you? Yeah, the doctor said you don't have an eyesight. I said I don't have I don't I cannot help you. Please, you take $100 shekel bill. After a minute, he came back. Doctor, this is 20 shekel bill. Hey, your eyesight came back. Please, pay me 50 shekels. So, of course, he did it to himself. So, the person is the worst enemy of himself, but he also can be the the savior of himself. And I will tell you my story. My journey and uh I don't I tell you I'll tell the truth. I don't love personal stories, okay? Because okay, something happened to him, okay? So, he need to become a bad Jew, well, whatever, but I don't I didn't feel anything. Hashem did not reveal himself to me. So, you know, I can stay as I am. So, I will tell you my story. The main thing I think that change is possible, okay? I'm coming from a very very very secular family here in Israel. Um just I will tell you uh uh a story little story that you will understand how far I was from Judaism. Um my second my family is very secular. I was raised in Israel, but uh I I wasn't in the Bet Knesset in the shul only two times in my life. When I was 13, when I had a bar mitzvah, and the second time when I came back from the Far East, I will tell you why. And I came back to Far Far East, I I was like 25 years old. I decided to go to the shul. It was Friday, 3:00 in the afternoon. I was raised in Herzliya. You know Herzliya? There is Herzliya Pituah, so it's not there. The other side, okay? In Hebrew, it's called Herzliya Kipua. Okay, now. So, I came to the shul very far away from my home because in Israel, it's not something cool. Wow, Fanger, you were in the shul. Yeah, we love you. So, I went to a very far place so nobody will recognize me. I came to the shul, it was Friday, 3:00 in the afternoon and I'm knocking I'm knocking on the door. Nobody is opening the door. I'm opening to myself. And I'm getting myself in inside. I saw an old person preparing the safer Torah to the reading tomorrow. So I'm coming to him. Hi, THIS IS A SHUL HERE? HE SAID, OF COURSE, what do you think? He's the beach shul because I came with a bathing suit. So he said, of course, this is shul here. What what do you want? I I said, okay, I came here, let's start. What you What are you doing here? He said, we are davening here, we're learning Torah, but you came early only 3:00 in the afternoon. There's nothing to do now. Please go. Come back after 4 hours. 7:00 the night it was Kabbalat Shabbat, very holy thing. Then he asked me, have you been in the mikveh yet? I said, what? Have you been in the mikveh? No, before Shabbat, something holy. So I I I I don't know what mikveh is. He said, no problem, I'll give you money and go over there. He gave me 20 shekel bill and they called somebody, Moshe, take him to the mikveh. This Moshe guy took me to the mikveh. Mikveh it was nice, like small jacuzzi, nice. But my parents taught me, if somebody is giving you money today, give it back day after that, so you won't forget. You want You don't want to come in reincarnation, okay? So he let gave me the money in Friday, day after that, Friday, Shabbat, okay? Small detail. I opened my eyes at 10:00 in the morning and I remembered I didn't give the money back. So where can I find the this religious person in the synagogue or in the in the shul? Okay, there's there's the reservation of the religious people. So I went there I of course doesn't matter how I'll get there. I parked the car very far. And I came 10:30. It was in the in the middle of the Kriat HaTorah. You have to imagine it. 80 people in the middle of the Kriat HaTorah going wow, okay. And I'm coming to the shul, they put me like a white yarmulke, a white white kippah and I was very shining. And these guys saw me, ah, how are you coming see if there is is is a come near to the safer Torah, he said to me, you know, there is light from the letters. I came to see where the light here. I don't see any lights. Okay. Then you know, I waited between the people that are in the Torah. Put my hands in my pocket. Put out the 20 shekels and said to him, "Hi." And Rabbi, "This is the money from yesterday. Where did you put it?" He's an old person, okay? He doesn't use to things like that in the shul. HE SHOUTED, "MUKTZEH!" OKAY. I LOOKED BACK, WHO'S MUKTZEH IS, OKAY? I thought maybe it's a dog or something. But when he shouted, you have to understand, all the people in the shul they were, you know, staring at me, waving with 20 shekel bill. They started to shout to me, "Leave it! DON'T TOUCH IT!" I'M NOT TOUCHING ANYBODY, OKAY? I didn't understand there is something in my hand, okay? IT'S A PAPER, PAPER. OKAY, IT'S JUST A PAPER. ONE OF the people there grabbed my hand and said, "Leave it! Leave it! Leave my hand and let's go outside, you know?" So for me it was a shock. It's a miracle I did I stayed with really safe after that. But this is almost the end of the story. My story began in the army. Here in Israel, when you're 18, you have to go to the army. And I went to the tanks. I became a commander of a tank. I was a year and a half from my beginning of the in the army. And my best friend, my best friend, he's in with me in the tank. In the tank you have you have you have you have you have four people, commander and three soldiers. And he's one of my soldiers. I I I I begged to go come back to my platoon to be with him. Cuz when I'm a commander, I can choose whatever you I want. So I asked, "Please bring him back cuz we was raised together. He's my neighbor. I was from the kindergarten with him." So they agreed and I came back to my platoon and we served in Lebanon. We served in Lebanon. Maybe you don't know, but every day there is a war. It's not only, you know, Lebanon or Gaza. Each day, each night, there is a war on the border. So, the tanks are sitting on the on the border and we're looking inside Lebanon to to see if there is terrorists that want to come into Israel. It was 4:00 in the morning. It's the Hezbollah started to do tunnels. For us, we didn't know that at the beginning then. Um They did one tunnel and they popped up inside our tent, inside our camp. It was five soldiers as five terrorists of the Hezbollah. Hezbollah. And we're sitting in the tank and we're laughing and we're happy and you know, life is good. Life is good. Everything Everything is in order. And I'm sitting with him above the tank, the the commander and my soldier, we are sitting above the tank. Our head is above the tank. And at 4:00 in the morning, 4:30, the Hezbollah start to shooting us. Bullets are flying next to your ear, like that. And one of the bullets hit my friend. The bullet hit his his head. He he fell on me. You know, I'm grabbing him and for me, you have to understand, it's a moment that it's a war, okay? You have to give commands. You are the commander. They are shouting me in in the in the in the ear, "Commander, what to do? What to do?" I have to fight to shoot back, maybe to to go back to to run away or whatever. What what what I to go to to go to call to get back up. I didn't know what to do and my friend is in my hand in my hand. And for me, the world stopped. I looked in my in his eyes and he and and he looked in in mine. And his last sentence was, "Funger, live also for me. Have a life also for me." And he died. From that moment, my life changed, okay? I took the the the tank. I run over all the terrorists. I started to shoot all over the place. Some of they thought I maybe I I was crazy. For me, I I I had to revenge my my my my friend. That's all the five terrorists and But for me, I cannot go back now. My life changes. I understood that nobody has a life insurance. And you know, we we talked 5 minutes ago. We were laughing. We were planning what to do after the army, when we will go to go abroad, whatever. And with 5 minutes, everything was finished. For me it was very hard. I came back home and my mother saw me. And she said to me, "Itzik." This is my name my name then and not Itzik and Itzik. "Itzik." she said to me, "You were grown up 20 years in 5 minutes." My life changed. I decided to dedicate my life to do something with my life because I have an obligation. I'm living also from for me and also for him. So, in a secular world, I decided to do a first degree in in psychology here in Israel. I started to learn psychology. It's very nice, but I don't want to offend anybody who's learning psychology, but it's a LOT OF TALKING. OKAY. And I wanted to help. I wanted to help. I also I decided to combine with the psychology. I'm working that today in psychology, so it's not nice I'm saying that. But I decided to combine with the psychology alternative alternative medicine. For me it was very practical. I can start work. And I started to learn Chinese medicine 4 years in here in Israel. After 3 years, a woman that practice Reiki came to Israel from upstate New York. You know what is Reiki? It's Reiki it's a it's a healing practice that they believe it's coming from the Tibetan Buddhism. They believe that if you put your hands on a patient, energy will flow through your head, through your hands to the body of the patient. Very powerful, very helpful. Over the all the the world they're using that. So, the woman came here. The teacher came into Israel to teach Reiki. Reiki has three degrees. First degree, second degree, and the masters. Okay. I'm going to the first degree, second degree, and then this woman told me, "Fanger, you got you got a present from above." All the patient that went through you said to me, "This Fanger Fanger guy, his hands are working very good. So, she said to me, "Okay." So, she said to me, "I want to invest in you. Come with me to trip abroad. Everything I know, I will teach you. You will come back to Israel after 2 or 3 years, you'll be number one." Okay, for me it's a very big big opportunity. I was then 23 years old. She's very wealthy, trip abroad, why not? Okay. So, I started to go. She's older than me 25 years, okay? Be relaxed. So, No, I I see his face is here. So, Okay, so it's a career opportunity, okay? It's a career opportunity, so I decided to go with her and we started in Europe, Switzerland, France, Italy, then we arrived at the to the state, the upstate New York, and then I I become a Reiki master, okay? I'm making a lot of money, it's very nice, but I'm a little bit extreme. If you'll know me, if I'm doing something, I have to do it all the way. If I'm going to be a Reiki master, I want to be the best Reiki master that there is. Okay, the woman tell me the my teacher told me, "I taught you everything I know. If you really want to know more, you have to go to the Far East because the the source of the Reiki is from the Buddhist Tibetan Buddhism. So, all go to Tibet or to India or to Japan and learn more in depth the the Reiki things." So, Japan is a very expensive and uh Tibet was very a little bit dangerous then. So, I found myself going to India joining the monastery of the Dalai Lama and becoming a Buddhist monk for a year and a half. Woo woo woo yeah. Making meditation all the days and trying to become the best Reiki master that I can be. After almost a year then, the Dalai Lama called me and said to me, "Fonger, you know, you're you you were here enough time. Now, you have to go and practice what you have learned. You are going to a solid monetary monastery up in Rishikesh more I was in Dharamshala up up north in India. So you go into Rishikesh, a very small monastery with 15 people. You have two spiritual works. The first thing, you have to be in silent for half a year. Don't talk to anybody. Okay? This is the reason I become a speaker. Okay? All my frustration, I'm putting it out on you now. Sorry that you are my victims. I need to talk. Okay? So half a year you shouldn't talk. They believe if you want to be a healer, if you want to use your energy, you have to absorb your energy, not to use it, not to waste it. If you are talking, even just to somebody else or just listen to somebody else, you can think you can feel that he is drawing your energy. Okay? On the on the phone. Okay? So of course personally it's it's powerful more more powerful. So be being silent for half a year. And the second thing, practice yoga. I was a yoga teacher here in Israel. So I have to practice yoga to bring my body to a perfection of in to be pure or something like that. Okay? Is that good for the group? And and then I will become the best Reiki master there is. Okay? I'm leaving Dharamsala, calling my parents and telling them, "Mommy, uh for the next half year there is nobody to talk with." My mother is telling me, "Son, we love you. You can do that. Okay? We trust you. Go for it. And can we have behind you? Do it." yeah. I'm telling you that because a year after that when I will tell I will tell my maybe more than a half year when I will tell my mother, "Mommy, I'm going to Yeshiva." Do you think the reaction will be the same? "Son, we love you. Go for it." No. And we will see the differences and it won't be hard. Okay? So but in that time I'm not thinking even this this direction. So I'm coming to the monastery, very beautiful place. It's in middle of the jungle. We have 15 people. I'm the only Israeli there and it's in the middle of the jungle. It's real jungle, not the urban shaman, okay? And not to offend the urban shaman, but you know what? Okay, it's a jungle. So I'm in the middle there. There is monkeys and beautiful things, okay? And I'm starting my silent retreat. I don't know if you tried it. For the first month, it's easy. And not easy, but you can do that, okay? The second month, it's hard start to be hard. Very hard. Three months? It's like a volcano, okay? But in silent. It's here. Here. I need to talk, okay? So, but you know I'm supposed to be very tough on me with my with myself, okay? I was in the army. I'm supposed to be very tough. So hunger, don't talk, okay? It's just don't talk. WE DIDN'T ASK YOU NOTHING. Just don't talk. What's the problem? Okay, what's the problem? Try it. Three and a half months. And one day I felt I cannot anymore. I'm dreaming that I'm talking, okay? Something bad. So and I'm talking to myself. You I think maybe maybe I will forget how to to speak. So I was in the monastery. There was a river. You have to understand it's it's a real jungle. There is no hot water. There is a river like 100 m from the monastery. On that river we are drinking, we are taking showers. There is no grocery shop, okay? I want Coca-Cola. No, you don't have. You have nothing, okay? What you are planting in the ground this is what you are gaining. YOU ARE LIKE A GOAT. GOAT, OKAY? AND BE HAPPY. WHAT WHAT not what what's bad, you know? Okay. So I was really into it, okay? So don't laugh. Um three and a half months and it's very very hard. And I decided one morning I'm opening my mouth, okay? I'm opening my mouth. Whatever will get out will get out. And you have to it's like a volcano. It's not like okay, let's think what to say now. No, it's like okay? So I went down to the river. No Nobody was there, only myself, and decided to open my mouth. And when I opened my mouth, you have to It's It's for me, it's like a moment because it's like I don't think what I'm supposed to say. Just I'm going to I'm just letting it out. And it started like And I opened my mouth. And the only things that went out of my mouth were verses for my haftarah, OKAY? 12 YEARS AGO, LIKE GUN MACHINE. WITH THE SONGS, OKAY? AND THEN I'M I'M WHAT? SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU. YOU DON'T YOU THREE AND A HALF months not a dog. Verses for my haftarah of my bar mitzvah. No, my memory is not my best part in my head, okay? I left it to my wife. Maybe the other women in the world. You will get married, you will know. You said something 10 years ago to your wife. You remember 10 years ago when we were in the Aisha Torah? You remember WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD ME? Aisha Torah, I wasn't there. I don't remember. She remembered everything, okay? Be nice to her. So, for me I'm talking from experience, okay? 25 years of marriage. Okay, it's harder than the army. Stop. Not nice. You are young. Be optimistic. It's beautiful, you know. A guy before he's married is not whole. Now if he's married, he's finished. Everything will be okay. You will be different. I hope so. Yeah. So, uh So, my memory is not my best part, okay? I cannot remember something that for me was not so relevant 12 years ago. But because of that I will become a baal teshuvah? Of course, no. So, verses went out of my mouth. SO WHAT? You know, I calm myself down. Maybe you miss Israel. Maybe your Torah teacher, whatever, but don't become baal teshuvah. What's that to do with it? Okay, that's not the case. People can see the best facts, but to change is very hard. The best facts, the the best proofs, it's very hard to change. There was a guy who was working in the New York Times. He was walking in the streets. He went went to see something that he can write on. He saw a person standing in front of the of an office office building with a cigarette. Smoking cigarette after a cigarette, cigarette after cigarette. So, the journalist came to him and asked him, "How much do you smoke a day?" He said, "Me? Three packs a day." "Three packs a day? Since when?" "Since I was 16." "How old are you now?" "56." So, the journalist taking a calculation calculate and said to him, "Okay, you are smoking three packs a day, it's $30 in general. Times the 365 days a year, times 40 years, LOOK HOW MUCH MONEY YOU ARE SPENDING ON YOUR CIGARETTES." he said to him. "IF YOU WEREN'T SMOKING, YOU CAN BUY YOU CAN BUY A BUILDING LIKE THAT." THE GUY WITH THE with the cigarette asked the journalist, "Do you smoke?" He said, "OF COURSE NOT." "NO? Do you have a building like that?" He said to him, "No." He said, "You see? I'm smoking and this is also my building. Not nice, okay? HE SHOWED YOU FACTS, OKAY? YOU'RE wasting your money. Okay, you're right. Okay, I'm wasting my money. Okay, hazak ubarukh. But it's hard. Okay, it's hard. So, to become a baal teshuvah because few verses went out of my mouth, of course not. I'm continuing with my life. I broke my silence. I'm supposed to start again after year. I won't do that become uh but after 3 days, I I'm in the in my room. So, it's not a room, okay? It's not a room. It's few blocks on each other. But I'm alone. All the monks are going to sleep very early cuz there is no lights. So, you know, at sunset they're all going to sleep. They are waking up in the morning very very early. But I'm more a night type. I love the night. It's quiet. It's beautiful. All the monks are asleep. So, I'm practicing my meditation at night. It was around 11:00 11:00 in the night. I'm alone and I decided to go to sleep. I have candles. I closed my candle and I wanted to go to sleep. I have a mattress and a sleeping bag. As I closed my candle, I have a odd feeling there is somebody in my room. I'm lighting up the candle and started to do a patrol. There is nobody there, okay? But you know, if if you're in the army, you're supposed to try to develop like a sixth sense to feel that if somebody's watching you and from where. It's supposed to save your life. So, I'm feeling that there is somebody in the room and with me in the with the candle. Okay, where is he? Maybe it's the Indian guy, okay, watching me. They are bored. But there is was nobody there. But it's a very strong feeling. I cannot go to sleep and I want to go to sleep. I'm sleeping sleeping every night. It's not a problem for me. So, I decided change place, change luck. I will go to sleep outside. Okay, I put in one of the candles to see the way out. Holding with one hand my mattress and the hot other hand the head of the sleeping bag. As I took the head of the sleeping bag, I pull it up the head of the sleeping bag and when I pull it up, a yellow scorpion fell from the head of my sleeping bag. And you have to understand, if I was supposed to go to sleep like every night, I'm supposed to put my hand exactly on him. To put your head on a yellow scorpion, especially there, he will bite you and after 3 hours you can say goodbye to everybody and to join your grandpa in the world to come. For the for the first time in my life, I had a very but very strong feeling there is somebody up there that protects me. I don't know who it is. I don't know what his name. If I would put in my calculator my computer boy alarm, okay, the creator of the world or the almighty, I would I would get no results. I I don't believe in that. I don't feel that. I don't know that. But it's a very, very powerful feeling that there is somebody with me. Somebody up there that protects me. Of course, I won't become a bad Jew because of that. Because if he want to protect me, why not? Feel free to do that. If you and it's not asking for protection, so he can protect me. So, I'm not becoming a bad Jew because of that. About 2 days after that, my story finished. After 2 days, I ran out of candles. You have to understand, it's the middle of the jungle. So, there is no trans- transportation. There is one in 2 weeks that coming from the city with donkeys, like pilgrims, that we're asking from them to bring us things that we're ordering, like toilet paper, things that you need, and things. Like that there food. So, there I ran out of candles. And I really need, you know, candles. So, I ordered candles. It's supposed to come supposed to come tomorrow. So, we have 1 day left. I I searching my my bag. In one of my pockets in my bag, I found one candle. But next to the candle, there was like a like a paper. When I start my journey with the teacher in Ben Gurion Airport, there is Chabad place there. And the Chabad are putting feeling on people, okay? They're very nice. But I flew in the night, so there was no feeling. So, they gave me like a paper with the blessing of the day, of the way, filata derech. Um and Shema Yisrael from the other side. And they told me, "Take it. It will protect you." I asked, "How much does it cost?" Said, "It's for free." Said, "Okay, give me two. I'll sell it to tourists." So, I took it and I put it in my bag and I forgot it totally. And that night, I found it. And I looked at this paper, and I talked to myself, "Funga, you broke your silent. You're supposed to start half a year again. Before you are starting, try to do meditation not with words of the Reiki. The Reiki is based on four words in Japanese. Like mantras, okay? They believe that that the words are like keys to open your angel to others. So, you broke your silence. So, you can now practice meditation with the words in Hebrew. Take whatever you want. One of the words or a sentence verse and try to do meditation with it. When you are practicing meditation, there's a lot of ways of to do meditations, but one of them is verbal meditation. I will take one of words or one sentence and I will repeat it loudly again and again and again. So, I decided to take from this paper one of the verses. I didn't know what I know the Hebrew, but I don't understand what it means. So, I took the headline. I call it the headline. The it was like with two big letters. So, for me it was the headline. So, I decided to do meditation with the headline for the first time in my life. I was sitting like that in my room. It's late at night. Everybody is asleep. I'm sitting with one candle, seeing this paper, and for the first time in my life I'm saying the Shema Yisrael. I'm saying like that. Shema Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad. All my body START TO TREMBLE. I'M SAYING IT AGAIN. SHEMA YISRAEL ADONAI Eloheinu Adonai Echad. All my skin START LIKE GOOSEBUMPS AND I'M SHIVERING. I don't understand what I've said. I know the words, but I Here in Israel there's Bagrut that they call it testing in Torah. I copied everything, okay? I don't know anything. For the first time in my life I say Shema Yisrael and my I'm I'm I'm breaking I'm breaking myself down. Like I don't understand what I've said. I have here a volcano. I have here like a like a bomb. I am practicing meditations for years. Nothing. Let me felt like like this thing. What is this verse? I want somebody to explain to me what the words I'm says what what the what the meaning of the word. I don't think that my fellows here in the monastery can help me. And I don't have a lot also. I love them, but I want the dangerous people from Mea Shearim. They know what they're saying, okay? I want them, okay? Let's go all the way. So I I decided I have to understand what it is. For me it was a really revelation. You have to understand I'm practicing with these medicines for years. I really love that. But I want to understand what it is. I I took I took all my things. I took them with me. I didn't say goodbye to anybody. The day after that the the donkeys donkeys are coming from the city. I took one of the donkeys, went back to the city. Maybe till today they are waiting for me there, okay? I was a wanted Israeli guy who was here 25 years ago and he was banished, okay? So I back come I came back to the city, called my parents and told them, "Mommy, father, I'm coming back." They asked me, "What happened? Are you okay?" You know, it's it's not the happy year now. I said them everything is okay. I'm don't ask. I'm just want to go come home. You have to understand the the story I'm telling you now, it's not like I have a story I will tell my parents. It was my own experience. I didn't think I will tell somebody that. I came back to Israel. I have a place in small place in Herzliya. In front of my place, my my my home, I have a bulletin board and it was very big advertisement there. Lecture n- li- uh who am life after death? Mystics Judaism Judaism mysticism. And I said to myself, "Fanger, you were all over the world almost. You know Buddhism by heart, Christianity because okay, you know, don't ask. But uh Judaism, okay, it's your religion. You don't know anything. You have your lecture, entrance free, you love it. So go to the to hear mysticism. Okay, it's nice. It's very interesting. So I went for the first time in my life to a lecture about life after death. I came a little bit late, so the only place that was open was first row. I was sitting in front of the speaker. And he started the lecture, "Near death experience." And he's looking at me, "Did you understand?" I say, "Yeah, I understood." He continued, "Reincarnation, did you understand?" I say, "Yeah, I understood." I look back, maybe I'm I'm alone here? No, the place was full, but he took me like a project, okay? Project Inspire. So, he continued the lecture, "Seance, did you understand?" Yeah, I understood. This was all the lecture. Did you understand? Yeah, I understood. Did you understand? Yeah, I understood. Then he finished the lecture. He said, "Okay, I finished. Do you have somebody have questions?" I raised my hand. He said, "Yeah, DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION?" I said, "No, I just want to tell you I understood." No. Okay. No. I have a question. I said to him, "I have a question. Don't be offended, I just want to ask. Now you proved us that there is life after death. Okay, very powerful, I cannot argue with facts, it was beautiful. But I'm Excuse me that I'm asking, for me all the religions are the same. If Of course there is life after death. Okay, I I I'm nothing to say about it. I will you know, for me if I will come to a Christian priest, he will say to me, "Of course there's life after death. Come with me, you will be in heaven. If you won't come with me, you will be at hell." I I will come to a Muslim kadi. He will say, "Of course there's life after death. If you will come with me, you will be in heaven. If you won't come with me, you will be in in hell." And you are saying the same thing. Okay, so there is life after death. But what it has to do with your tzitzit and your yarmulke, kippah? He said to me, "Whoa, you asked a very good question." Then he said to me something that for me then it was very hard to grasp. What he said to me, of course now I believe in that, I believe in it like that. He said to me, "You have to understand that Judaism is the only religious on earth that can prove you facts that there is Hashem is the almighty and that he gave the Torah. So, everything that is written in the Torah, according to this world and the other world, this is the truth. If you want to know, there is a seminar for four days now in Ashkelon FOR ACADEMIC PEOPLE. COME IN HERE what Jews didn't have to offer. ARE YOU COMING? SAY, "YEAH, I'm coming." Say, "You're not afraid?" Say, "No." I was sure who will give lectures there. Rabbis. Yeah, I love them. But, you know, I'm coming from the academic world, okay? They don't know much. I will come there and I will make them secular. Okay, just to calm down my conscious that I've been there also. I went to the seminar. It was a mistake. Some Hashem, of course not. I came to the seminar and for me it was a shock. It was a culture shock, okay? For four days, I'm hearing lecture after lecture, lecture after lecture, and I I'm battling on my life, you know, I I I didn't go to sleep. I I grabbed the speakers. I want answers. Because for me, or you are taking off your yarmulke, or I'm putting your yarmulke. It's or you you are you are right or or I am right. There is no between. And if you convince me that you are right, I'm going to be like you. After four days, the seminar is finished. There's like a simple ending ending of the seminar. Everybody's standing on the stage and if somebody want to say something, I'm going up to the stage and I'm saying to them, "What I have learned here now for four days, I didn't learn in my 25 years of living. Today, I wrote everything that you have said. Today, I understand that there is Hashem, there is the Almighty. I understand that he gave the Torah. I wrote all the facts. I'm going back tomorrow to my university. I am going to check what you have said. But, if it's true, I want to become a baal teshuvah." Everybody stood on their feet. THEY WERE LIKE, "WOW! OKAY." I WAS SURE THAT MOMENT, YOU KNOW, red carpet and motorcycles will join me to get home. When I reached home and my mother discovered that HER SON, HER SON, WAS IN THE SEMI- WAS in seminary of Judaism, she was with RPG, you know, again. My father with tanks in the garden, YOU KNOW. MY MOTHER SAID TO ME, "YOU KNOW, ITZIK, WHO'S BECOME BAAL TESHUVAH? CRIMINALS, CRIMINALS. YOU'RE A GOOD KID, OKAY? YOU DON'T NEED THESE RELIGIOUS THINGS." I SAID TO HER, "YOU KNOW, MOMMY, I'M just I didn't say anything. I just want to hear. I just want to listen." This was the first time I went to the shul, okay? It was the second shock. And I started to become a little bit baal teshuvah. But I'm a Reiki master. I'm not just a Reiki master. I'm here in Israel supposed to be the the Reiki master. So, all over Israel heard that Finger came back came back from the Far East. He's very good in Reiki and things like that, in meditation, yoga. So, all these schools here in Israel of alternative medicine send send their those students their students to learn from me. So, I'm becoming a Reiki master and doing a lot of money. Two days seminar Reiki course, I'm taking $300 and I'm not opening the course at least I have 50 people. So, 50 people, $300, it's nice, okay. It's day after day, day after two days after two days, two days after two days. After like two months, three months, I'm making a lot of money and then two Orthodox women came to my my class and said to me, "You know, it's it's wonderful. You have to let it out to the Orthodox people, okay? They will love it." I I told her, "No problem, you know, organize them. I will come." They organized like 250 Orthodox women and I came to give them a lecture. My mother is my secretary, okay? This is her bliss, okay? Her nachat. So, I'm giving it an introduction talk and all the women was so moved. It's amazing. We have to learn that. Okay, so they registered and my mother is writing them down and she said to me, "It's like you are a millionaire because you are full booked from now the year and a half from now, okay? Every day courses it's more than that there's treatments and things like that. But you know you're a millionaire, you're full booked from now year and a half ahead. But It has to be like a butt like that. One of the women came to me and said to me, "Hi, excuse me I'm asking, are the Reiki's kosher? Is the Reiki's kosher?" I said, "We're not eating anything, we're not drinking, you can bring your food from home, you know, there's nothing there's no problem supposed to be." So she said, "No, you know, it's coming from the Far East and you know, you're a little bit secular sorry on set and then you that. So we have we have to need a rabbi's that will tell us if it's kosher or not." I said to him, "You know, I don't know rabbi's. I'm just in the beginning of my way, okay? But send me to a rabbi and I will ask him." She sent me to the Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein. Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein is the the son-in-law of Rabbi Elyashiv zt"l. Uh, and I came to him. I came to him and I said to him, "Hi Rabbi, I'm practicing Reiki. Is it kosher?" He said to me, "What Reiki is?" I'm starting to explain to him four words words in Japanese. I'm doing initiations, I'm working with energy. After 20 minutes I'm making him a Reiki master. And then I'm asking him, "Is it kosher?" He's hearing and he said to me, "No." I said, "Rabbi why not?" He said, "I think it over, okay? Come down from those will change your mind maybe. No." I didn't say that of course. Uh, he started to explain to me that you know, it's the words it's it's Japanese words come from the Tibetan Buddhism, it's like I don't know maybe we don't know but it's affect the what the Torah so you know, you shouldn't use it. You cannot imagine how I felt. It's not all my life I I will exaggerate if I will say all my life but it's it's not it's more than career, okay? It's something I really loved. And I I invest in it 5 years of my life. And after he said that for me, you know, like I like a belt and like a building of glass and with one sentence everything is blowing up in my face. I came back home. I was a little bit devastated, I have to admit. I was sitting in my salon alone and I started to cry. Started to cry. And I said to me to myself, you know, Funga, you have two choices. Or, you know, you can do whatever you want, you know, okay, he said no, so what? I love a little bit of him okay? Maybe you'll find another baby. But if you are true with yourself and you have to listen, I think as a baal teshuvah I didn't left all my life just to, you know, to cheat or to do whatever I want. If this is the truth, if this is the way of the truth, I'm going all way. If there is heaven up there, I want to be in the front row, not back up in the back there. Yeah, I'm with a flag, I'm here also. No, I want to be in the front row. So, if it's not kosher, so it's not kosher for me. So, I called my mother. I I closed my eyes before that. I closed my eyes and I spoke to him to the to Hashem and I said to him, Hashem, it's me from the bar mitzvah, okay? But I said Hashem, you know, uh for me, I just met you, you know, I I I didn't know that you exist before that. And now you are challenging me with a very but very hard challenge. But in the short time that I become a baal teshuvah, I have learned two things. First thing, that you are not challenging a person with a challenge that he cannot handle. So, if you are challenging me with a such a hard thing, I have to believe that they have the strength to go through that. And the second thing I have learned, if somebody sacrifice in Hebrew Misha McCreeve, at the McCreeve of you're making closer to you. So, Hashem, I'm not asking for money. I'm not asking for a career. I'm not asking for honor. I'm just asking for me one thing. Hashem, please don't leave me. Don't leave me because I'm going to leave everything. I call my mother and said to her, "Mommy, cancel everything. The Reiki is not kosher." Silent behind the line. After a moment of a silent, my mother start TO SHOUT, "IT IS KOSHER! YOUR MOMMY IS DYING IN BED! LEAVE THE RABBI INSIDE!" I TOLD HER, "YOU KNOW, MOMMY, IT'S not a plastic thing. It's not a game. I cannot play with that." The rabbi said, "It's not kosher for me. It's not kosher. Cancel everything. All the courses, all the treatments, I'm stopping using the Reiki." For me, it was it was so hard. I didn't know what to do. Maybe I'll go back to the university, become a psychologist, or go back to the Chinese medicine. Somebody told me, "Go to Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky. Ask him what to do." I came to this holy person. It's it's amazing to to meet him from face to face with somebody like him. I sit in front of him. I said, "Rabbi, I was in the Buddhist monastery. I was abroad. Uh I was practicing in Reiki Kido. Now everything is gone. What to do?" Then he said to me, "You know, you have been in the monastery for almost a year and plus. Can you go to Yeshiva? Go to Yeshiva? Not for a year, for 3 months. Just 3 months. Go to Yeshiva and then decide whatever you want." So, I said, "Okay, I can do that." For 3 months I went to Aish HaTorah Yeshiva. After 3 months, I discovered a world that I didn't know that it is existed, or Lama Torah, okay? For me, it was very big revelation to learn Gemara, to learn Chumash, to learn Halachot. For me, it was such amazing thing that I decided to dedicate my life to to uh learning and teaching. And um now after more than 25 years um now I'm really a millionaire, okay? But millionaire, I don't think it's something has a lot of money because um I think a millionaire is somebody who knows his purp- purpose in life. He has answers to his questions. He know know the the the meaning of all the all the world, but Judaism Judaism is telling us. So, for me now, I'm in another world. Today, I'm living in Kiryat Sefer, it's called Modi'in Illit. It's a Orthodox place. Only Orthodox place. It's hard, and okay. I need a little bit, you know, okay. My wife, she's a righteous woman. She's uh uh FFB, right? Frum from birth. She made a mistake in marrying me. Yeah. I think she's very sorry for that. But, you know, Hashem Hashem is ruling the world. Uh I have seven beautiful kids. Um and today, I just came here to tell you that you have a a treasure. You know, Judaism is a treasure for me. And a treasure, you don't have to go far away for that, maybe to Israel treasure Torah, but not uh so far. And uh my pleasure is just to reveal that, and because there is a saying in in Hebrew that ain bala nes mikayev niso. Somebody who had had a miracle, he doesn't understand that he's a miracle. You can see with your eyes. Maybe you you do appreciate that, but somebody didn't saw for a lot of years, and then they were a doctor opened his eyes. So, you also, you know, maybe you are a ba'al teshuvah, you're coming to to to know Judaism. So, just understand that you have really are a treasure in your hands. Don't waste it. Go and learn that. Become close to Hashem. It's the most beautiful thing that you can do to yourself. Not that it's easy. My life is not When I was a secular person, I have I have no life. And I was very, you know, miskin How do you say miskin? Poor. And now I'm happy. It's not like that. But of course, if you know the way, of course there is challenges, but it's worth it, okay? I will finish with one story and then I will give you time to for questions if you want. Um I'll finish with one story. Cuz when I became a baal teshuvah, I want to learn Torah. I really want to learn Torah. I have I have a feeling that I I missed a lot of a lot of a lot of good years. And I wanted to dedicate my life to to learn Torah. So for for 10 years, I was in a avreich. I was only learning Torah. After 10 years, my brother became also baal teshuvah. Okay, it's contagious. No question. And he became baal teshuvah, and then he brought all his friends. And you know, you know, my brother talk with my friends, and you have to talk with them, convince them. And then I started to become a speaker. And you know, it's it's coming on the time of the learning learning Torah. So I didn't know what to do. To go to be speaker or to learn Torah. Of course, I will I can combine them, but you know, it's In the same time I can learn Torah. I'm not When I'm speaking, I cannot learn Torah. So I went to my rebbe, it's Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein. The one who ruined my world. Okay. He now is dedicating my I'm He's He's helping me to do to manage my life now. So I came to him and asked him, "Rebbe, I I don't know what to do. What should I do? To give lectures not, to stay in my home, to go to yeshiva all day?" And he said, "I'm not giving you an answer for all the people. I'm giving you For you the answer, and each one of of you will take it for personally to think what it's telling you." He said to me, "There is a Holocaust survivor that's coming to me every year," he said. "And every year in the same date. and he's crying and crying and crying. And the rabbi asked him, "Why are you coming the same date every year?" So, he told him that he lost all all his family in the Holocaust, except of one brother. His brother and him, he was in the same camp in the Holocaust. And the Nazis in Auschwitz, they did like order. In 6:00 in the morning, everybody was supposed to stand, and they checked if somebody is, you know, you can can work or not, and you have to be in this line. Because if you won't be in this line, they will kill you. And we worked all night. We had only like an hour to go to sleep. My brother was very tired, so he said to me, "I'm I'm going to sleep." And I was afraid I won't get up in the morning early, so I I stayed awake. And my brother asked me, "Please wake me up. Wake me up before the line." So, I said, "No problem no problem, I will I will I will wake you up." And you know, I I was wandering in the around the camp, and a Nazi officer saw me and called me, "Come here and start work." And from the pressure, I forgot the the line the order. I I forgot that my brother. Forgot everybody. And I And 6:00 6:00, I saw everybody stand there, and I'm looking for my brother. I didn't see him. I ran into the camp, went to the bed of my brother, and I saw him lying on the bed with a bullet in his head. And he said to the rabbi, "Rabbi, I cannot forgive myself. WHY DIDN'T I WAKE UP MY BROTHER? WHY DIDN'T I WAKE UP MY BROTHER?" SO, THE ZIBERTON said to me, "Fungyer, maybe after 120 years in the world to come, the the souls of your brothers, your sisters, that walking now in the street, your sister knowing the in the street, your brother in the street there, maybe he will ask you, 'Why didn't you wake ME UP? YOU WOKE UP YOU WOKE UP VERY NICE NICE to see that. BUT IT'S IT'S your brother, it's your sister. Why didn't you wake your brother?' So, you have to do something. So, one can be a speaker, one can do to to the dedicate maybe in this project inspire to to to bring some a family into his home, a friend here to in the Shiva come and learn somebody. Somebody is here in in the course of this you can speak with him, you can you know be nice to person. Ask him you want to learn with him, you want to see what you want to what Shabbos is. Just invite him. You cannot you never know who's walking the street. So, wake up your brother. So, I think first of all you have to wake ourselves and then we'll try to wake up our brothers and I think Hashem will appreciate that because as a father I'm saying I'm telling you the most important thing in your life is your kids. If somebody will help your kid, you will give everything for this person. So, we are in the memorial of the day of the of Noah Weinberg the son of the tzaddik Reb Chaim and he made a revolution in the world. So, for me it's a very very big honor to be a little part of that and thank you for listening me and I hope we will do good things in our life. I will tell you in in short. The Reiki and spiritual things they are not not kosher, okay? There is a way that you can kosher it, okay? To convert it. Today I developed not today like 8 years ago I started to develop a technique called FHT. This is the name in Israel. FHT is finger healing technique, okay? I took the the tools from the Reiki, the tools from guided imagery, the tools from personal development and I combined them to a spiritual work that you can use also in in in in Judaism. So, you shouldn't need the words. You don't need the mantras. I I believe you don't need anything. You have the energy in your hands, okay? In in Judaism you know that Yaakov Avinu when he blessed the sons of Yosef, he put his hands on on on his grandson. He even uh convert cross his hands. So, why? If you want to bless somebody, bless misheberach avotenu, okay? Bless them. Why to put your hands on it? So, of course we have a lot of things in Judaism that work with energy. So, especially if they are spiritual, don't say that your way is wrong, okay? And Judaism is the right way. Just bring them to the light and they will see by themselves. I don't know. Stop. No, no, no. Of course, there is a lot a lot of research that healing that touch can change people, okay? Of course, you know, if you are touching a person, a mother, if you if she won't touch her kid, only will do things like that maybe this is the kid like that, okay? Nothing will happen to the kid. He will maybe crazy. Touch can heal, okay? If somebody is touching you, something happen. So, of course, there is an energy. They believe that the your body knows best what he needs. And energy is like water. When you put your hands on a person, the energy will flow through you to the body of the patient. And like water, it will get to the lowest place. You your body needs something. Maybe I don't know what my body needs. But he will draw the energy to himself and heal himself. You have your natural way of healing. But you need somebody to to to uh connect you to the electricity to the healing of life. You have it to yourself also. In in Reiki, you can treat yourself also. You don't have to be to have somebody else. But of course, somebody else with you is much more powerful. I think first thing, never but never give up. I think the other generation are much more powerful, much more stronger. We are a little bit, you know, like weak. Ev- Everything It's hard for us, okay? I cannot deal with it. Don't have mercy on yourself too much, okay? And compare it to other things like sports, like uh I don't know, business. You can see people are invest their life all their their life in the to to be a swimmer or a runner. You're practicing every day very hard. It's very very monotonous things. It's very It's not easy. It's not nice. It's not pleasant, but you He's doing that cuz he believe in his way. And when I coming to spirituality, we think like it's like a trip. Okay, like it's like a hobby. It's nice. It's drink to me not drink to me. It's nice to me not drink to me. It's nice to me. It's It's a way of life. It's not a hobby. It's It's something that people went to to the to the dungeon to death, okay? To the fire for that. It's not Okay, it's nice. You have to believe I'm not kill you. You believe I'm not believe doing good for you nice for you. It's not like that. So, don't give up. Don't don't put your hands up. You know, fight for yourself. And look look for the truth and go with. You will never lose. Of course, most of the philosophy of course, but also the mitzvot it's also like meditation. Meditation is something that you put your mind into it and you want you don't want anything to distract it. So, also also in my learning Torah to constantly my learning learning Torah it's also meditation, okay? From davening of course. But what I'm using it, you have to understand it's like a muscle. When you are practicing it even just to look on something, candle or if you are learning Torah, try to not don't distract yourself 5 minutes. Look at the the letters. So, the same thing I I practice in meditation I'm doing that also in in Judaism practices. And you can find very easy. Of course, I have the my evil inclination, okay? That is Somebody told me that he helped me there and now he is against me now in Judaism. But in Shemoneh Esrei, I'm just taking like 3 seconds before I start Shemoneh Esrei, I'm closing my my eyes and breathing slowly. And I'm starting to look at the letters and I'm davening the letters the words very slowly. Not I'm like saying three words and stop For a second, three words and stop. Three words and stop and it's very helpful me to understand what I'm saying. And before I start the blessing, one of the blessing of the Shema Yisrael, I'm thinking for myself, what do I going to ask now? You're starting the the blessing What are you going to say there? You're asking for Hashem, what do you want? For a second, not Shema Yisrael, it's not like a years, okay? It's very ordinary. But I'm just stopping for a moment and it's helping me. But I can advise you, don't start with Shema Yisrael. Start to practice and and all like 10 10 minutes a day and then, you know, you can use it in Shema Yisrael. If you will start with Shema Yisrael, you say, "Okay, it's not working." And and it's So, start with yourself concentrate. Just concentrate on something. Try to develop your muscle and it will it will help you in other things. Of course, the the the words, there is depth after a depth, okay? It's like the the the sea, okay? When you're standing on the on the beach, you can see the sea. Okay, what? Maybe if you've been in the Red Sea, okay? It's more beautiful there in underneath. So, you can say, "Okay, I understand the sea. There is water. Just water." When you're diving inside, the it's a whole world that reveals to you, okay? Fish and then or things there Almogim, how do you say Almogim? Corals. So, of course, there is depth after a depth. So, Shema Yisrael, it's not the the words Shema Yisrael. For me, it's not only Shema Yisrael, this is my main thing that I want to understand now. It's the whole holy things that Shema Yisrael represent. Shema Yisrael is only one example. I think every verse can do that, okay? Every word. Of course, Shem Hashem, but every everything that you can use, it's going to make you feel after. I think one of the Kabbalists said to me that your soul was so thirsty to holy thing in Judaism that she she heard the Shema Yisrael that she she would she light up. But if she would heard another verse, maybe it would be the same. There is no ritual of of the Torah. It's somebody people There is people that want spirituality, okay? So, in the Far East, they believe that, you know, Buddha and all of these things. This is their and the main thing to practice their religious or it's not like the Torah. They don't enjoy that. Wow, I'm doing meditation. Woah, woah, woah. No. It's okay, it's practicing. I I I know I I spoke with a lot of monks. Nobody's like that or enjoying that much. It's it's a way of life. It's an ordinary way of life. We don't understand the Torah of that, of course not. And we have don't we don't have a challenge that. You don't like I want to work with that. I want to kill, you know, burn burn the statue, please, you know. Uh so, of course, we don't understand that. Today, I don't think there is almost there's no Torah today. There is in small places, but they don't really believe in that. They're practicing the the the meditations and things like a holy like a spiritual way, not like a religious. It's a very very hard question, very painful question. You have to understand here in Israel, I think Of course, a person loves some people that they like to him, similar to him. In in Israel, you have the television and everybody was seeing television are is is exposed is exposed to to material, to information. And I will give you an example, okay? I was giving a lecture to a project called Taglit, okay, students. And it was in the Sukkot war. And we're in Bar-Ilan University and I gave a lecture and I finished the lecture. I gave time to question and one of the students, a girl, raised up her hand and said to me, "WERE YOU IN THE IDF?" I SAID, "YEAH, I WAS in the IDF." And then she called to me, YOU KNOW, "MURDERERS!" I SAID, "WHO'S MURDERERS? YOUR MOTHER IN SO, OF COURSE NOT. BUT, you know, why call you murderer?" And then she she showed me a picture from It's It's supposed to be from the Gaza Strip, but it was not. It was It was from Syria, but small detail. It was uh It's a It was a Arabic woman with her burned son. It was hard to see, and she was shouting like, "La la LA LA LA." OKAY? And she said to me, "YOU SEE CIVILIANS? YOU'RE KILLING CIVILIANS, MURDERERS!" OKAY. I DON'T KNOW if you know, but the Israeli army, it's the most They are the most gentle army in the world, okay? I will bring here Putin, Putin, kharasho, for 5 minutes. He will put a bomb in Gaza Strip and will the You can You can Okay, he will vanish them. Sorry. Sorry, okay? Pazhalsta. Teganou teganou, you can say whatever you want. Sorry, and you can do whatever you like. We are trying to be very nice, very gentle, okay? But she doesn't know that. She see She sees pictures. She sees, you know, television. And I'll give you one example. I'm working in the television in Israel television. It's called Hidabroot, okay? It's a Jewish channel. And take example, I will do a series of Orthodox woman, okay? And the same day, there will be another series, another broadcast of some somebody secular that he will do the same subject. Orthodox woman. Do you think this will be the same uh uh interview? Huh? Viewership? What viewership? It's called the viewership? the same thing. Yeah, you think so? Why not? It's the same subject. It's Orthodox woman. So, why can't it Why can't it be? I will tell you. There is, like, for example, 500 5,000 Orthodox women. I won't bring all the 500, okay? I will bring five, for example. And I will choose five that I want to represent. He will choose also five of those women, but not the same one. And if he will choose the same one, he will choose to to show from their lives something he choose to that will will will be good to his agenda, okay? I will show something else. And this is the person that will see the the program, he won't understand somebody is showing you only one side of the coin, okay? Very very narrow mind. So, if somebody will see that the Orthodox women they are not going to work and they are like slaves in the kitchen. So, he will he will think, "Okay, I understood. I saw a program in the TV, not in in the YouTube, in the TV, okay? Supposed to be very thin, very correct and very, I don't know, uh true." But, he doesn't know he saw a very small frame from the whole picture. And in Israel, I'm not saying that they are bad people. They are they are they just want to show what they their people want to see want to see. So, they are showing us that the the religious people are very bad people. They're not going to do army. They're not working. They're not uh participate with the obligation of the country. So, my my mother saw that. I I saw that also. And I was sure I understood them. I understood exactly what the Orthodox people are. And it was a mistake. And when my mother and my father met when I when I'm now living here in Kiryat Sefer in Modi'in Illit, when they saw that, when my brother became a ba'al teshuvah after 10 years, my mother was really glad. She said, "It's not fair. For me, you know, you made my hell of my life, okay?" When he became a ba'al teshuvah, you applauding him. Why? So, she said to me, "When you become a ba'al teshuvah, we didn't know why what is ba'al teshuvah. I thought maybe he'll be an extremist, you know, throw stones at on us, burn our TV." And we saw that you haven't changed. You had a ponytail from behind, Now you have in front. Okay. It's nice. You stay the same ethic. Okay. And we love you. So, I think it's ignorance. And I will conclude that uh There is there was a a movie called The Ten Commandments. Okay. And Moses coming for to power and said to him, "Let my people go." And I think the call now, it's let my people know. Cuz if they will know, I think we'll love each other much more. Okay. Thank you.