Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz: The Month of Elul I am to My Beloved as My Beloved is to Me

[Music] a little bit about a more general topic that will only be peripherally connected to the parsha and that is the other month of bevel that we're in we're approaching Rosh Hashanah and the month of L o is an unusual month for many people especially if you went through a sieve maybe if you weren't any achiever you don't have this so in a sense you've been immunized but L though has a certain heaviness about it because after all Rosh Hashanah is the time when God judges who will live and who will die and as we as hazael teach us the preliminary judgment is made on Rosh Hashanah that's called the writing God writes it down and then you have ten days of repentance and then on Yom Kippur is the final sealing of the judgment so L o is the month that prepares us for trial imagine if a person had a major trial even it would be a business matter or imagine if they were in a criminal prosecution and God forbid their very life was hanging in the balance well the month before the trial you would be kind of nervous frightened scared so L did acquire this characteristic of being a very frightening and scary time because a person is looking at all of their of Eros and all of their sins so in many many ways therefore this can actually become in certain people's minds the high holiday season can be a little bit negative sometimes in the sense that you're we're so overwhelmed with sin with Avera with negativity with identifying our false identifying our flaws so one of two things could happen both of which are negative results one might simply be I get crushed I get despondent I get depressed the other might be I simply ignore the whole thing because otherwise it'll make me crushed or depressed so I simply shut out the noise now even either of those responses is not really what God wants us to do God does not want us to be depressed and despondent and certainly God does not want us to be apathetic and ignore so there has to be some kind of middle ground here in which we use this month for the potential that it has and at the same time we do so with joy with simcha with hope with serenity with courage with confidence so that's really what I want to talk about little tonight so many of you have heard of the old movie and book the three faces of Eve now I'm going to talk about it's nothing to do with the three faces of Eve other than I will appropriate the title and to talk about the three faces of the month of L o and therefore they're kind of three interrelated aspects of L o that can help us during this this time we know interestingly enough that the Jew the so-called Jewish names of the months Tishrei cetera and kiss lobello are actually not of Jewish origin at all the Gemara itself says these are Babylonian names these were names that we lifted from Babylon when we were in the Babylonian exile and we brought back to the Land of Israel they are a foreign origin in fact at least some of the months are actually the names of idols the month of Thomas in the book of your desk al tom was is the name of an idol that that was worshipped that's why you find in the Torah itself the Torah never refers to months by Tishrei - kiss life others the Torah for two months first month second month third month you're counting from Nissen based on that unusual nomenclature we must be the only religion in the world that celebrates the beginning of the year in the seventh month right Rosh Hashanah is correct Lakota Shastri because Nisan ER Steve and Thomas are Velo district issue is month number is month number seven so where is the first time that you see the use of the Babylonian names the book of Esther is the first book in the Bible that uses the babylonian aims of Aadhaar and the law because the book of Esther occurred during the tail end of the Babylonian exile after Persia conquered Babylon to be sure but it's the end of the towards the end of the Babylonian exile because indeed it was Esther's son from ahave rosh Darvish the seconds who authorized the building of the second of the second temple and just like when you're converting from old system to new system right let's say you'd be converting well Israel has the metric or ability in America if America ever converts to the metric system which they probably will never do you're going to have you're going to have to have signs that have both the old and the new so in Magilla Esther that's the transition from the Taurus dating to the Babylonian dating that is why you will note every date is stated in two forms for example Adar Harmon was going to wipe us out in the month of Adar so it says Bock Hodesh nameís are in the 12th month who qodesh Adar it's mannish the sign that has both the metric and the the other the other measurement because kodesh Naima solar our Diaries the 12th month from from the Sun RBC's the last month of the year based on the Taurus dating and when you're transitioning from numbers to names you have to put both in later in the book of Ezra I believe they only use the new system C Mon er Nisan s there uses both dates so question number one is and you'll see how this will connect our little in a few moments question number one is why on earth would the sages enact that we should use Babylonian and even idolatrous names to name our months I mean why why is that so these names apparently would have no holiness so the Rambam interestingly enough offers a very interesting answer in his Russia on Rosh Hashanah and here I'm going to totally digress just to talk about the dresser for a little bit as many of you might know they're on bond spends most of his life in Spain but the last few years of his life he was in Eritrea and that's because he was kicked out of Spain because he was summoned by the King of Aragon to engage in a debate against an apostate Jew regarding Judaism and Christianity and this was like a public entertainment people would vote to see who won the debate and the Christians were very very confident that they would refute Judaism and they were not worried they wanted a week long debate but after one or two days they saw that things were not going so well so they wanted to pull the plug they actually cancel the debate after three sessions because it wasn't really going very well and the Rambam didn't wanna part did not want to participate in the debate lathela because he did not see it as a win-win us me monitor either way you look at it if he loses the debate which was not would not be likely that would discredit Judaism in the eyes of even other Jews and if he is victorious in the debate he could get the whole Jewish community in trouble for defaming the church so the RAM bond did not want to get involved but the king ordered him to do so and then people voted like popular entertainment the people voted like these these shows that people vote who's the best singer so they actually voted that the RAM bond was the winner of the debate and the King gave the Ramban a price and even said I've never heard such an eloquent defense of a false proposition but your defense was eloquent and beautiful but the truth of the matter is the clerics the clergy wanted the Rambam executed his life was much in danger because they they accused him of a great crime of defaming the church because of the various statements that he made and the King had to intervene because the king himself was subordinate to the Catholic Church and the King finally intervened and managed to get a compromise position that in lieu of death the RAM bond was exiled so in his 70s the Rabanne was literally ordered to leave Spain came to the lens of Israel the Land of Israel at that time was divided between Islamic and Christian control this was in the later parts of the Crusades the first crusade was 1096 this is already the twelve hundreds but these are the later Crusades and the Ramban actually rights that you shall I am was totally desolate there was not even a minyan of Jews in Yerushalayim and he says call him Baku - Bo tear the holier a site is chemin bo tear it is most desolate and abandoned there was much not even a a safer Torah in the city of Jerusalem there was not a minion at that time the dominant Jewish community was in all places Akko up north which today is not a particularly Jewish City although I think there is some key helos even in Akko today and I go ahead around 300 Jewish families it was under Christian control and for whatever reason at that particular juncture in history I mean this changed everyday - in fact that was eventually destroyed but at that particular juncture the Christians were relatively tolerant so the RAM bands spent his first Rosh Hashanah in the Land of Israel he spent in Akko addressing a key hila of 300 families and he was honoured to give aid Russia and Rosh Hashana which he later wrote down and this is one of the very very famous and beautiful Russia called Rashad Hiram ban the Rosh Hashana now as a synagogue rabbi who had to give dress all the time I mean I still do and you know one of the main issues that congregants have with dress shouts is too long so it's always it's always struck me that if you look at the size of the ROM bond stretch all the rest of China it would take at least three and a half hours to deliver so I don't know maybe the Rambam added things in the writing that he didn't have in the RO Russia but it's quite amazing that he was able to give a three-hour three and a half hours Russia on Rosh Hashanah so when people complain the rabbi spoke twenty five minutes you know you can tell them well you know they were a Boise you spoke a lot longer than that now of course granted if the Rambam speaks probably you know that'll be more interest and and and the light and the rush of the ROM bouncer Rosh Hashanah is a fascinating Russia because it really combines so many things it combines technical hahaha because he was speaking to a very learning audience it combines Talmudic analysis it has some mysticism in it it has Musa he talks about the ruddy great the hood of living in Eretz Israel in fact the famous statement that many people know from the Rambam that every single Mitzvah is of a different magnitude when it's done here this is a very very interesting assault that we think Oh Eric Israel has special myths felt like shmita and alike but if I wear its filling or keep Shabbat or keep kashrut it's the same here saying there I mean that's what we would normally think rom ban says no when bond says the only reason God says we keep my throat and Chris Lawrence is only so we will be in practice so we'll know what to do when we come back here every single Mitzvah is uniquely special when it's done here it is not only the myths votes Tolu Yotes bharata's which are special to Eretz Israel that's obvious it's not that I don't do it Cutler it's obviously they're special here but even the mitzvot that are duplicative of what I do in puts larette's have a special huh she would and he also develops the idea based on many many sources that in Hutzler aretz God's providence goes through intermediary angels again that that is a much more complicated idea that we I'm not going to talk about that fully tonight in Eretz Israel it's God's own portfolio meaning God carvahal has a cabinet just like the State Department has the undersecretary for Europe and the undersecretary for Africa and the undersecretary for Asia so Hashem has cabinet officials assigned to every part of the world but in Eretz Israel he keeps the portfolio directly and that is why there are ban says this has a downside by the way the Ramban develops the idea that just as a mitzvah that's done in the Land of Israel has a special importance and I've a rod that's done in the Land of Israel is especially detrimental because you're actually committing a sin in the palace of the king and besmirching the palace of the king is much worse than doing something outside by the way in later generations this was actually used by some authorities as an anti early argument basically hey if you're gonna do your sins you know staying put sweats and do them don't come here so you could turn it around almost to make the opposite points of what the Romberg was making but it actually was used to by at least some Ksyusha proscape as an anti alia argument if you're going to sin better to sin there than to sin here okay be visit may I'm just bringing all of the shop to illustrate the very eclectic wide-ranging nature of this treasure of the ROM ban on Rosh Hashanah which he gave in Akko now just to finish the biography for a moment after that Rosh Hashanah the RAM bond decided to rough it and go to you shall I am in spite of the fact that there were virtually no Jews and as many of you know he founded a beit knesset beit knesset aram banana not the one in kata burn but in the or in the old city near right near the Hurva synagogue there is a base Knesset called Beit Knesset to rumba and now the building is not from the wrong balance time the building is lighter but on that site is the law other than the cultural Moravia itself is the oldest continuous synagogue in Erik Estrada that has been in continuous use from the 1202 today with the exception of course of the nineteen year between 1948 and 1967 but other than those night you know you know the Horvath synagogue the one that's oh so right next door right next to it literally it's a very nondescript place it's not that it's not any particularly noticeable certainly compared to the Hurva but that's the basic message rub and there's a little sign up ethic said big measure and that is the ROM bonds not not the building but the site is the ROM bronze synagogue and that's the oldest continuous Beit Knesset other than the Kotel my Ravi itself which was used as a mock home to Fela going all the way back from the time of the Corbyn buy it buy it Cheney and and the like okay so going back to why I brought this in so I brought this in because one of the many many many questions there are bond discusses is this issue of why the rabbi's chose foreign words for the months of the year by going back to that question l will teach ray all of them are foreign words so the ROM bond gives the following answer just as we know that in Hebrew there really is no word for Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday rather Yom Rishon towards the Shabbat yo mâche knee towards the Shabbat why is that so because the Torah or cuz I'll when they kind of created the Hebrew language in this way wanted us to think about Shabbat every single day remember the day of shoppers to keep it holy doesn't only mean on Shabbos make kiddush although it doesn't mean that but every single day I should have an awareness of Shabbat so when I say yo Marie shown I'm shortening it a little bit what I'm really saying is yo Marie shown the Shabbat yo machine Neil the Shabbat Shabbos is coming when I was in Newark Airport on my last trip so it's like I where were you t-shirt it said the first five days after the weekend are the hardest no after that so in a sense that's how would you thinks as well everything is Shabbat you owe me so much about Shanee Lucia bats etc so the same way the days of the week make us think of Shabbat and the reason why the Torah counts the months from the Sun quarters shall be shown Kalisha Shanie is the Torah wants us to think about it see Ottoman I am all the time that God redeemed us so cos I'll also want us to be grateful for the redemption of the Babylonian exile now that was not a complete Redemption because we were still under foreign domination even when we came first of all only a minority of Jews came back during the Second Temple but you have to realize most of the Jews were not even living in Eretz Israel kind of like like today although Brooklyn we are actually approaching a majority of Jews in Eretz Israel and we were under foreign domination Babylonia Persia Greece Rome so it was not a complete Dula but it was an opportunity to return to the land and if there was an opportunity to have a bait semuc - so cuz I'll wanted us to be grateful and therefore every time we use the Babylonian names we're thinking about the Gullah from boville now this itself is a whole big topic because many many m'f or some say and it's based on many results that the redemption from Babylon could have been messianic in nature had more Jews come to Eretz Israel had we embraced the beit hamikdash with more enthusiasm it could have turned into a messianic redemption since we didn't respond to the call so we had something we had a beta make - which was big we were able to come to Eric Israel but we were under foreign domination we really didn't have independence and all of the Messianic wonders did not take place so it's interesting in many many ways the redemption from Bevelle was a missed opportunity was a failed opportunity nevertheless we have to have gratitude for the opportunity that Hashem gave us so that's very interesting so when you think tea-tray such fun you're remembering God's providence even in the Babylonian exile as well and who had then today in other words in many ways we are similar although not exactly we don't have a temple but we are similar to the Jews who returned to level maybe we're even better because we do have independence which is something to be very very grateful for it but we still don't have world's peace we don't have Shalom we don't have the whole Jewish people coming back to God we don't have a base of Mick - so we're in a what's called and brakesh and a beginning of redemption is very very wonderful and very very great but it is a beginning and I think about what Winston Churchill said in the Battle of Britain the way he described what was going on he said it's not yet the ends and it's not he said it was not even the beginning of the end but maybe it's the end of the beginning so in beginnings there's you know you're not yet a beginning but you're maybe the end of a beginning which can bring you towards the end of of Google up so be it as it may if it is the case then all of these months are reforming derivation you might think it's a little odd to try to assign a meaning to them and yet you do find that differents varam try to take it as a Hebrew word and connected to a Hebrew word and find meaning in it even though its origin was Babylonian so apparently the understanding is that yes the origin is Babylonian but if Cazale chose those names from all of the different names they could have chosen it's also because there is a deeper spiritual significance so ello is one of those things and that is lol as a word I don't even know what it would mean in Babylonian is some Babylonian word for something that has I applied to a month and yet all of us know that laters forum found the month of L o Mugu Maz alluded to in different biblical sources and this is what I'm going to talk about the three phases of L oh I want to go over three biblical Rama's in to the month of L oh and try to show how each one of those rimas in perhaps teaches us about a different aspect although they do overlap the most famous remnants of L o is of course a a verse in XI Reshiram nila dodi I am for my beloved and my beloved is for me the first letter of those four words niala f-- Aledo dalamud vivre of Li alif-lam-mim trove Lyman spells the month of L oh let me say a word about Shira share I think we talked about this before the song of songs is a romantic book of love poetry it uses mildly erotic imagery and not today cough that there were sages who wanted to ban the song of songs from the Bible they said it's not a holy book it's a book of romance what are you putting love stories in the Tanakh and she Reshiram almost got removed from the Canon of Tanakh and it was the great Rabbi Akiva who kept it him because Rabbi Akiva was able to convince the other rabbis then if all of the songs are holy the song of songs is the kodesh Kadosh iam the holiest of holy because it is a metaphor it is an allegory it uses romantic passion and love because it is describing the relationship of the Jewish people to God that's you know God is the male the Jewish people are the woman and there's a love and a passion between them so he uses the language of hugging and kissing and you know even even beyond that because it's expressing the fire of intimacy and love now there's an old accusation and all the tacking art scroll which is really unfair that's art scroll when they translated she Reshiram all the way back in the 1980s when they began the arts girl series so they said we are not going to translate it literally because that can be misunderstood we will always give the metaphoric translation so as a result when the puss ik says he chicane II he has ravished me with kisses so the arts girl translation will say when God took the Jewish people out of Egypt there were ten plagues so you read you know so you read so you read the art scroll translation saying what is the big controversy or simply describing UCS misrata Matt Don told among the traveling well the clouds of glory it's kind of just reviewing the hummus you don't you don't even know exactly what the great point is but really the language is ravishes me and loves me and stays with me now in fairness to art school because I think I do have to say this because people still complain about this in the commentary at the bottom of the page before they comment they do give you the literal translation in brackets so they do give you the literal translation but in the place where they translate they only offer the metaphorical translation which is not a translation and they don't give you the the literal I mean people still complain about this I mean I you know I work I do a little work for Jewish action the oh you magazine so they send me the letters to the editor to see if they should be included and some guys complain I mean this is this is like 50 years after the fact some guy is complaining about the arts grocery shiranai this goes back to the 1980s I mean it's quite quite a long time ago so people are still making an issue over this to this very day but be this at night she Reshiram does remind us that our relationship to God is stormy passionate deep fiery God is yearning for us and we're yearning for him so in that context you have to look at the whole book in that context there is a refrain that appears more than once where the woman that's the Jewish people calls out a kneel the dhoti I pledge myself to my beloved vidoe Deeley and my beloved pledges himself to me so it turns out therefore if that is an allusion to the month of L oh that tells us L o is a time of love a time of calluses a time of passion in other words the alter rebbe the ballet Tania has a hole like those of you that that have learned Tania may know that part three of the Tania is a separate work that is called a garis Hakuba it's a letter the alter rebbe wrote about the process of chuva and it's deep it's Kabbalistic i'm not going to go into all of the things now but one of the points the alter rebbe makes is that although chuhwa requires that we confront our flaws we repent but chuhwa is ultimately a joyous experience literally chumma is not repentance Chava means returning it's very different the word repent repentance is connected to regret and remorse that's what repentance I repent means I regret what I did now it is true it is true that part of the process of chuhwa is to regret but what Shuba means as a whole is not regret true ver means return God is yearning for us to return and when I do chuhwa I should feel the joy of restoration of a relationship it's kind of like people who have been estranged or even husband and wife that have not been in such a good place but they've achieved a breakthrough so a person might start sobbing crying sad in some ways about all of the wasted opportunities all of the misplaced energy but in that crying there is also a joy that we're together again I wish it could have been earlier I wish we didn't have to go through all of it so there is a sadness but it's also a liberating purifying force so troub is not about guilt it's about reconnecting and that's why big Africa the month of ello which is a month of soul-searching is a Neela Dodie Dodie Lee is the season of love there's a famous muscle that's Chabad uses a gazillion time so you know if you have any cyclists any connection Ichabod you have heard this Marshall I think it comes from the alter rebbe which is actually from the ZOA earlier and that is elbow is the month that is called hana la posada the king is in the field what is the idea that the whole year God is available but God is in his palace you have to make an appointment it cetera you have to go through guards but once a year one month a year the King leaves his feet he leaves his palace there are no Secret Service guards there's no security detail and he's literally available for anyone who wants to approach him lol is ello is a Mela basudev and the message is that God is yearning for our success you know I remember when I was in college so I took a course in know American literature from the colonial times even pre you know pre formation of the United States so I read an essay from a very very prominent pre-colonial preacher Jonathan Edwards and this was an essay about the wrath of God this is the moisture this is kind of the Muslim use and the Puritans used to give so he gave up mr. booth really it's such a graphic image maybe I shouldn't even tell you because it could give you nightmares but he said you are I can't forget forgive my language you are a repulsive insect that is being held between the fingers of God over a fire you utterly disgust him and at any minute he'll just crush you of course it's always you it's never him maybe you know he didn't say he didn't even say wheeze that's you right that's already a problem and that was the image that motivated people supposedly to repent because they were repulsive they were ugly they were disgusting in God's eyes and they're this close to being thrown into the fire like you would throw a loathsome insect anyone on quite a few pages I'm giving you a a summary of Jonathan Edwards mr. schmutz but I would say that the message of Aniela Dodi vidoe D Li is exactly the opposite message yeah we have shortcomings yeah we make mistakes yeah we need to be better and we have to be honest and confront but we do so knowing that God loves us being secure in that relationship knowing that he's rooting for our success and he will help us to become better if we really want to become better in that way it's a totally opposite message in many ways this is a positive message of affirmation God believes in us believes in you he give he gave you a mission and he gave you a purpose he gave you the tools by which you can accomplish that purpose and that is the great message of Aniela Dodi Bedok D Li by the way a Friday night when we sing Mikado D liqueur Escala so the English translates that come my friend let us go greet the bride but as we know from Shira Shi rim Dodie is not just friend Dodie is come my beloved so some commentaries say interestingly enough this is very fascinating who are you talking to when you say the Cardo D come my friend to greet the bride so most people assume it's like you're talking to your fellow congregant come my friend let us go greet the bride some say in light of Shira Hyrum you're talking to God your beloved and you're saying to God God let's go greet the shoppers together as if to say God also goes out to greet the Shabbos and therefore the Dodie is actually uh Neela Dodie which I think given the fact that Makar Dodie was written by a Kabbalist in the time of the re revs low morale kibbutz it's very very plausible and likely that that may have been his intention it was not simply talking to your friend its Mossad Dodi talking to the Shana which is coming to greet greet Shabbos as as well okay so that's really the first message of ello the message of love and in this connection this is a time of flesh banana fish now freshmen on FS means spiritual accounting but I want to point out three quickie observations about husband or nervous just to kind of put down three basic points we know of course that an accountant is called ro a flesh bone now imagine if you had an accountant and the accountants only recorded debits and not credits the accountant has a record of all of your liabilities but none of your assets that's a pretty lousy accounting system an accounting system has to take account of assets and not just liabilities of credits and not just debits of accounts receivable and not just accounts payable so too when you ask a person often what does Cushman and nefesh mean so somebody will tell you oh if such my leverage is an accounting of all of the mistakes I made wrong an accounting of all the mistakes you made if that's all it is is the accountant that only records debits that's brother nefesh also means you have to take into account your strengths your successes identify them identify the good things that you've done during the air because that'll be the foundation where you can build and continue be honest in acknowledging your strengths in a non Eric way because if you simply deny that you have these abilities and strengths they'll never become actualized so point number one about Suchman a nephesh is yeah be an accountant but as an accountant be cognizant of the assets and not just the liabilities second point about customer non FS is be specific you know I sometimes have this image from NCUA and also from the high school kids or the pros all kids in our Sameach you know adolescents tend to get very very emotional sometimes it because they're drunk and sometimes they just you know their emotions are very powerful so you'll often see I'm poor em or even even not on premiere on my regular Shabbos like a kid is crying maybe I should make fun of it because it's coming from a good place but in life and you know here adults here it's not enough just to say I want to be good I want to be a better person you got to think specifics it's like a business run every time says you got a treat life like you treat a business it's based on a verse in Mitchell a you got to seek God the way you seek money now what that means is that you know if you wanted to open a falafel stand pizza place you can't just say no what is so pizza you got to think about the cost you got to think about the location you got to think about the risk y'all think about the downsides you got to have a business plan now the business plan is not etched in stone you got to be flexible you change things as they go along but you got to give thought to a basic structure a rosetta gem it is very much the same idea yeah I want to be good I want to be better that's that's fine and that's the impetus that's where it comes from but I gotta ask myself what exactly do I need what are my goals for the coming year what type of person do I want to be what are the dangers that divert me from the path what are the deficits that I have that make it hard to do and what are the positive attributes think about it specificity has to be something that's a little bit more than the generic I want to be better because they I want to be better it's not going to carry you very far you have to have a business plan now when do you develop this business plan so this is the funny thing paradoxically on Rosh Hashanah and on Yom Kippur you don't have time Yom Kippur through this frights a funny thing Yom Kippur is the Day of Atonement the day of repentance how much time do we have on Yom Kippur to think about our particular lives how can we don't tell that much time I mean either we're diverting all the time or when we have a break we're a little tired I mean during in there during the break it's hard for a person necessarily to be a sake right so Yom Kippur has to be understood as kind of the end of a process it's not the you can't do the whole process on Yom Kippur and ello is really the time for that process of fresh banana fish now I don't mean you have to spend hours a day most people don't have hours a day but even if it's as little as five or ten minutes a day try to kind of visualize where you want to be what type of person you want to become what in your experience has made that hard and what in your experience can help you achieve that goal and that's what Suchman and nefesh really is so that's my second point the idea of specificity right first point recognize your assets as well as your liabilities your strengths as well as your weaknesses second point is be specific and third point is be realistic by realistic I mean you have to have attainable goals don't try to do too much at one time you know we saw cilantro used to say that we live in a world of great impatience and this was almost 200 150 years ago he says everybody would like to know the Tomlin and that's an achievable goal but that's not enough people want to learn the whole Talmud in one night that's a goal only the Vilna Gaon could do and then he said not only do people want to know the Talmud in one night but they want to know the Talmud in one night and get eight hours of sleep the same night he says that he thinks even the Velma gun would have a little trouble with it right we want instant results one instant gratification we want to be instant tsadikim and we adopt sometimes goals that are so beyond us that when we inevitably crash and fail we then lose everything it's like trying to trying to construct the hundredth story of a building without having 99 stories to support it up so you got to be realistic in terms of manageable goals again physical exercise is a perfect analogy to this somebody wants to get stronger by lifting weights right so they can lift the weight they can lift 40 pounds let's say that's not hard for them so they decide they want to be stronger so they're going to start the next day with 350 pounds well you can't go from 40 pounds to 350 pounds or somebody who never never jogged around the block sees oh the Jerusalem marathon marathon is this week I'm going to sign up and do you know 10k or 26 miles or whatever whatever it's going to be doesn't work that way you got to work gradually whatever it would be so the three points of cash bananafish is identify your strengths be specific and take manageable realistic goals and stick with it and then you'll find what lot you build yourself into a stronger spiritual identity you have a real sense of progress in life you have a sense of momentum you have Mitzvah go rarity Mitzvah one Mitzvah gives you the strength for the other Mitzvah and that way you can look back next Rosh Hashana you can look back at a year that you've elevated you've made better you've made a contribution you've changed yourself in a better way even if it's small and again and you need to take pride in that again non arrogant pride but pride that brush em I accomplished something this year I did it and I can do more and I can do better because Hashem showed me that I have this disability so that's the first remnants of ello on Neal with Dodie widow deal II love God's love for us and that should give us strength that should give us confidence that should give us a sense that we're able to grow in a chief now there is two more Ramazan for a while and it's interesting I don't know why I neither Dodie Dodie Lee is by far the most famous but strangely enough the other two were Muslim to lor we in the Torah so it's interesting that the Shira Shira mass is more famous better known than the remiz a mandatory itself but there are two rumors M in the Torah - the month of lo1 is in partial eats of him which we actually read the last Shabbos of the year which talks about the Jewish people in Garlits and they'll be persecution and out of that persecution we will eventually return to God and the person says Amal Hashem la caja s la vaca vs Lavazza Rafa God will circumcise your heart and the hearts of your children to return to him so the same idea the words s live vaca the s love valve same thing Aleph lammott of vomit ello is embedded in that Russia so if the first message on either delivered Oh Delia is elbow as time of love the second message is ello as circumcision of the heart so let's focus on this metaphor for a little bit because circumcision of the heart sounds a little dangerous to take a scalpel and simply cut away part of the heart generally speaking not so good so what do we mean by the expression God will circumcise our heart God will remove the r-la of the heart so it's a metaphor obviously we look at the heart at least in the Torah's language poetic language the seed of emotion and feeling now in Orla let's take a regular brick write the Orla is that which covers blocks it blocks that which you need to expose so the Brits miele removes the r-la and exposes the male organ the way God wants it to be exposed etcetera so in a sense therefore circumcision is a metaphor for the removal of blockages and there are blockages in the heart and we're not just talking about cholesterol in the arteries those are physical blockages obviously but there are many many spiritual blockages in the heart there's egotism there's anger there's resentment they're selfishness there is depression blockages are those things that prevent us from connecting to God that prevent us from connecting to each other that even prevent us from connecting to our real selves these are blockages and ello is a time when a Shem allows those blockages to be cured to be healed to be removed now all of us know the well-known halakha again this deserves a whole share on its own maybe we'll we'll talk about it later that young Chui van yom kippur only give you atonement for the sins between man and God if I sin against God I do chubarov Yom Kippur God forgives me but the sins that I committed ensta nother person I embarrassed somebody I hurt them even if I do Trueba to God and even if I go through Yom Kippur I do not get forgiveness until I seek appeasement and forgiveness from the person that I hurt and then I still have to do true but to God that's true also but I need that person's forgiveness now there's a whole protocol in toluca I ask a person for forgiveness if I ask him three times and I'm sincere this is important it's not pro forma and he refuses it becomes his Avera because a Jew is supposed to forgive if there's a sincere request I do want to emphasize if there's no sincerity there is no obligation to forgive but ultimately there has to be an attempt a serious attempt to try to make amends with the people that we've hurt and this is critical because without trying to make those amends Yom Kippur doesn't work Shuba doesn't work I need to make myself good with the people that I've hurt so all over this is a well-known point this is a well-known point one interesting digression I'll just point out is that release all cilantro maintains that sometimes you shouldn't ask a person for forgiveness if that will cause more pain let's say he gives an example of let's not let's say I I said some very very bad things about you and you're not aware of it so I come to you and I say I want to ask your forgiveness for the very bad things I said about you and you have the right to ask or what did you say about me and I'll say you don't really want to know well how are you gonna feel so we saw slaughter took the position interestingly enough when asking forgiveness is going to create greater pain then you don't you know that's a particular situation now most of us understand that's the goal of granting forgiveness is I'm doing a favor to the offender you have this great sin and Baruch Hashem I'm giving you forgiveness so we think you're the one benefit but in reality you have to understand forgiveness is of great great benefit not just to the one who needs to be forgiven but to forgive her himself or herself because when a person lives with anger resentments hate they're stuck there frozen they really can't move they're immobilized they just don't go anywhere it's like there's a hundred pound weight thousand pound weight that's pulling him down when you can forgive you're free you're liberated the blockage isn't there anymore what's the psychologists have this expression but you and you have these negative feelings you're letting these people live in your brain for free they're not even paying rent right get rid of it banish it right so one of the so the second aspect of ello is whom Allah Schemmel Akaka God gives us the capacity to have circumcision of the heart removing the blockages clearing the arteries that's very very great that could be so liberating so empowering you're free you're free now the third ramus is also in the Torah and it deals in the parsha of ear McNutt now remember what a near me clot is if somebody kills inadvertently not on purpose but he's negligent meaning if god forbid somebody killed somebody by a totally unavoidable accident like you know you're standing on a balcony the balcony collapses and you fall on a child you don't go to the ear McNutt that's that's a total accident so ear make lot is what we would call in secular legal terms manslaughter manslaughter you were careless you go you went through a red light you didn't look both ways at an intersection you through some heavy object off your map SS not thinking that somebody might get hit with it in other words non-intentional but careless negligent disregard for life so you don't get the death penalty because you didn't intend to kill somebody going to the City of Refuge and it is a punishment it's not just a security measure it is true that the air McCloud gives you protection from the blood avenger but it's not just protection even if you have your own security guys what for example listen I'd rather stay in my mansion with my own private security thank you I don't need to go to the air make lat no no in other words it's not just a protection it is actually a punishment it is like a form of imprisonment although it's pretty benign imprisonment here in the city of William etc and you remain in the air mcnutt's until the Kohen Gadol dice now we talked a few weeks ago about that I'm not going to repeat so it's a very strange sentence if the Kohen Gadol dies one day after you go to the air McCloud you're free and if he dies fifty years later you're there for 50 years and if you die before he dies you're buried in the air McNutt not to be exhumed until the Kohen Gadol dies okay B does it may in the parsha of eme clot in Paris Mishpatim there's an allusion to the month of L oh this way a share light sudah he who did not have premeditation hello Kim Analia da God has prepared something for him the sub team of karma karma share you under some I have given you a place that you can run to so again the same idea inna Lia dough with some tea maka he has prepared for you a place so if the first remnants of ll is is love Aniela dough diva Dodi Lee and ii Ramez of ello is circumcision of the heart the third remnants of ello is LOL is city of refuge ello is ear Nicollet now you might say what's the connection between ello and near Mecca thermic wat is a very specific institution for people who take lives so here the deep lesson of this remiz is that every sin involves taking a life the life that you're taking is your life Hashem gave us a life and this life has a purpose this life has a potential and every time we waste it we squander it we don't use it we've killed a part of ourselves because that day that minute that month that year is now lost in some ways lost forever wasting time is a form of suicide so every one of us are guilty of murder but the good news is were not intentional murderers we didn't want to do bad things we made mistakes we were careless a little bit we didn't always think we are accidental murderers of ourselves so we have to go to the Year McNutt but some year make lots exist in space spatial and some ear make lots exist in time so ello is the city of refuge that exists in the framework of time to give us a chance to fix the damage that we have done to our own lives and these are three interrelated messages of ello ello as month of love ello as the facilitator of removing the blockages within the angers and the resentments and their will as the City of Refuge that helps us overcome the murder that we've committed in our own lives now let me mention just in this connection the interesting started rather of Aaron Cutler you know Reverend Cutler was even that's a very young man already he was a brilliant brilliant Eloy and it's home but Holcomb and Healy he was like a big receiver of a major you hear in Europe Colette's when he was only twenty years old and then came World War two and came to show and came to Holocaust all of that was destroyed and Reverend Cutler came to America during the war and he spent the first years knocked in building evil but in trying to bring his Tommy them and others to safety from from war-torn Europe but eventually he started his Russia valet quit Lakewood in those days was very small it was not like today it was a very very elite and small institution but Reverend Carter did not live in Lakewood around had to lived in Borough Park and he only spent Shabbos in Lakewood which is a very odd situation because he gave complicated she or him and he did it on Shabbos when nobody could take notes nobody could record so it almost doesn't make sense they share from a violent country to be given on Travis like who's going to remember it and and the like but what did her environment do the whole week Rivera collecting money basically he went from place to place Miami Chicago Los Angeles all the places in between collecting money and in those days even worse than today today's a little better people did not appreciate the importance of the issue but they really didn't understand it even Orthodox people didn't really understand it so they would sometimes give him a dollar or two dollars even though it went further than than than today and often they didn't give him anything at all they said what are you bringing this European stuff to America America is a modern country we don't need your Shiva's and in the end alike andr violin was often humiliated he was often insulted he was also forced to see things that he really spent his whole life trying not to see yeah you know it's nice in Miami different stories he would be in an elevator and somebody would come in with the bikini you know whatever would be things that were extremely extremely uncomfortable for him so what if his tell me them asked him who accompanied him says Rebbe you know you're such it's a dick you're such a Thomas Holcomb you could give so many Shiori Torah to tell me them why does a Shem put you in a place where you wander from place to place like a beggar like a schnorrer and you're insulted and you're Medusa why would a sham do that deal so I want to show you show you some of your variant Cutler said Rivera Cutler said you know when a person kills another person the show gate he has to go to the Year McLouth which is his druthers going into exile that's the trick he says every Rebbe and teacher of Torah may have killed one of his students inadvertently not by taking a knife and putting it in his heart but sometimes you know the harshness you might be harsh with someone you didn't give somebody the seasick or the comfort that they need it you broke their spirits you took away their confidence and your environment said that's a form of murder so God decrease that the Russia Shiva's and teachers of Torah have to go to exile because they too may have murdered in that furtively so it's just a great great reminder of our responsibility for us parents obviously parents can see the same thing parents teachers in whatever way that human beings although they have we have great strengths and we're very resilient that's very very true but we're also vulnerable at the same time and spirits can be broken and we have to know that to break a spirit is a form of murder it's a form of psychological murder and whenever we try to repair whatever damage it we might have caused then we try to do so by words of affirmation words of comfort words of kleezak so these are kind of just three related interrelated messages of elbow and the be as recession haven't give us to see out to - Maya to turn to him with a chuvash Lima our sages promised us the direct shot them Road sale a leash while leafing us out the pathway that you want to go is the pathway I shall will lead you you want it I shouldn't put you on the road you don't want it I sure will not put you other route it all depends on how much we want so may we be so good to have that roads [Music]