Rabbi Yisrael Yakubov - Character & Livelihood: The Hidden Connection Between Emotion & Success

Okay. The class is in English, right? Not in Russian. As that I'm saying now, so everybody understand we will speak in English. And um I want to dedicate the class to the memory of Zina but Yaffa Hashem to have her in Gan Eden. Today's class First of all, I'm very It's a big honor to be here. First time in this shul. I was asked to speak about a topic that everybody needs. And everybody will benefit from. It doesn't matter what age you are. Everybody needs success in Everybody wants to over. And there is a big connection between our emotions, our character traits, and our success in life. The same way as there is a connection our emotions and character traits to our health. You know that today even the conventional medicine, yeah, the doctors, the scientists, they say that each one of us sometimes we sick. So, years ago people would think that you get sick because of physical reasons. You know, you drink too much cold. You go outside, you know, when it's windy and you don't have a jacket. You eat things that are not healthy, so you get sick. God forbid. Yeah. Different Yeah, you drink things that are not healthy and you get sick. God forbid. But recently, not long ago, the the people in science even, they understand that there's another element that affects your health well your health sometimes even more than those physical things that you do wrong. Your emotions. In Chinese medicine and even before that in Kabbalah, they teach it they teach it long time ago. They say that if a person has certain emotions that are not balanced, those emotions cause certain diseases. You become sick not because of the air conditioner. It's because of an emotion. For example, they say in Chinese medicine, also in Torah, that if a person has a fear, fear is an emotion. He's scared that the IRS will send him a a letter. He's scared that Hashem Shalom the something will happen with his business. He's scared that his wife would want to divorce him. Or he's she's scared that his her children will not talk to her. When we have a constant fear of something, this fear cause a certain results in our body, a bad result. Chinese medicine says, usually it ruins your kidneys. Fear has a connection to kidneys. How? It's a long story. We're not going to waste our time for that now. We'll leave it to the doctors. But there is a connection between fear and kidneys. People that have problems in kidneys, a lot of time is because they have a constant fear. People that have problems with lungs, asthma, breathing problems, coughing, it says that there is a bad emotion that if you have this emotion constantly, it can cause problems with your lungs. What is the emotion? Sadness. You know those people that are always sad? You don't get a smile from them. Always serious. Always something is wrong in life. Even when they go to vacation, they find something wrong. A horn. There was a hair on the bed sheet. Sadness cause problems with lungs. How? Because your body goes out of balance. And when it goes out of balance, it has a certain reaction and that reaction when it's happening again and again and again and again, it cause problems. A disease. Where? In the lungs. A person that has um A person that has the Gamorah says "Rekev atzamot". A person that has jealousy. He's always jealous. He has a nice house. He looks at other people. And he he can't he can't handle it. That his friend has a bigger house than him. Has a bigger has a better car than him. Or his business is going better. He can't handle it. It's jealousy. This jealousy the Gamorah says "Rekev atzamot". It's ruin your bones. There is a certain connection between bones and jealous. And we have a lot of examples like that. Our sages and also in medicine like I told you Yeah, people that have um People that have anger. They get angry very fast. And you know, he has workers and he always screams at his workers. Oh, the kids are doing too much mess and she can't handle it. She always screams and only when she screams they clean. So, she has to scream. That's what she says. So, maybe you found the a certain way to make your kids clean. But, after years or maybe months hashem shalom, you can have problems with your um kaved. Kaved is um liver. Because anger affects the liver. Okay, so we know that not only physical things. Of course, if you're going to uh uh work in a in a place that you always smell pollution, things that are bad, you're going to have problems with your lungs as well. But, that's from the physical level. Also, the emotions affect our health and I want to tell you a secret. The emotions have more effect on your health than the physical. People that have problems with your uh with your um skin, eczema, different uh skin problems, it's stress. They can even see it. When you're more stressed, it's coming more. When you're more calm and relaxed, slowly it goes away. Why? It's not a You go to the doctor, the doctor tells you, "Listen, I don't know what is it. I'll give you something to, you know, to put." But, you see the medicine doesn't work. Why doesn't it work? Because it's not something physical. It's an emotion that you have and that emotion cause a physical reaction. Okay? We have to understand that most of our problems in life are a cause of our bad emotions. Physical problems. But today I didn't come to speak about this. It's not a It's not a class about health. I want to speak about something more interesting even. Especially for people that live in New York. I heard that here they like parnassa. They like to make money, right? Everywhere, but here special. To be successful livelihood What affects our life? So usually we think what affects your money, what affects your parnassa? If you work, you do. If you don't work, you don't do. You don't make. But our sages said something different. Our sages says that there is a connection between your emotions and how much money you earn. There is a connection between your emotion and how successful person you are, how much people like you. And how much open doors in your life you have, how much mazel you have. Your mazel is depends on your emotional level, on your character traits. And today I want to teach you from the books of Kabbalah, from the books of Rabbi Nachman from Breslov. What emotions cause us to lose money and success and mazel and what emotions they are good for earning more money and more success and more mazel. So bezrat Hashem I think I will start with uh one of the Torahs. Torah in the book of Rabbi Nachman, it's called Likutei Moharan. By the way, this book just to have it in the house already gives you blessing. Rabbi Nachman says just to have the book in the house will bring bring you blessing. It's called Likutei Moharan. Very important book to have. I was in Brooklyn yesterday and so they have also a Russian edition. Baruch Hashem. They made two volumes in Russian already. Bezrat Hashem, more will be coming. Sabri Maranan. Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha'Olam Shehakol Ni'hya Bidvaro. >> Amen. So in this book, in chapter 68, Rabbi Nachman gives a tremendous idea and secret. He reveals a secret that I think that in business university, yeah, in in in when you when you learn business in university, this is should be the first class. First class is what Rabbi Nachman says. Listen what he says. Rabbi Nachman says that everything in this world has a spiritual root in heaven. So for example, if you have money, the money, the energy of money, the blessing of money comes from a spiritual place in heaven. There is a certain hole, that's how it's called, a hole of of of of parnassah, and from there blessing of parnassah comes to each one of us. He says very interesting that from the same place where parnassah come from. When the the same place in heaven where the uh blessing of of of of money comes from also there is another emotion that's coming from the same place. He says the emotion is anger. Mamon vekaas otosho root. And because they have the same root says Rabbi Nachman what happens is like this. Every time that a blessing of prosperity and money has to come to you the evil inclination will never give it to come to you unless he tests you with anger. It's a rule. It has to happen. So, let's say you need to get a certain blessing of parnassa of money you will need to have right before getting that blessing a certain challenge. In what? Always in getting angry. Doesn't matter man or woman. And after that challenge if you will stand be strong, hold yourself not get angry that money that needed to come will come. But if you didn't and you got angry in the root, the money transfers to anger and it came down like anger. And you lost it. That's what Rabbi Nachman says. So, according to Rabbi Nachman emotion of anger has a direct effect on all our money and prosperity in life. Direct. So, Rabbi Nachman says even more than that. Not just that the anger has to come, the test of anger has to come right before the money comes. This is for sure, he says. By the way, the more challenge you have, it means more money is coming down. So, for example, let's say you come home and your wife makes you really, really, really angry. Like really angry, and you like you want you want to explode to the extent that you want to throw something. That level. You know what does that mean? Hundreds of thousands, maybe millions. Something like that. When your kids doing something that you really, really get mad at them. Or your neighbor, or your worker, or your friend, or your sister, or your father. Doesn't matter who. Hashem has a lot of messengers. Every time they decide to give it to someone else. Usually, it's the closest people to you. Because they were created to test you. And they will make you angry. And if you get angry, you lost it. You just lost it. Now, Rabbi Nachman says, "And if you got very, very angry, not just you lost whatever you needed to get, or whatever you have already, you damage that also." So, let's say you now you have 50,000 in your bank account, you also damage the 50,000 that you have already. Now, it's going to go somewhere. You understand the connection between between emotion spiritually and physical prosperity, money. Rabbi Nachman says it clearly, you can check. 68, Torah 68 Likutei Moharan. According to that, first of all, I just gave you a recipe to make money. Right? It doesn't matter what you do. It doesn't matter what your business is. It doesn't matter what your husband do or you do or you do you want to have blessing in your house? You want to have more? Easy. Wait for the next challenge. And just smile to that challenge challenge on the face. On its face. Smile to it. Say, "Ah, money. Thank you. Make me more angry." I'm serious. I'm telling you, since I started to use it, life is a lot better. Huh? I don't make, it just comes. Because you don't lose it. Each one to his, you know, to his level. But this is this is just beautiful. First of all, it's also a segulah for shalom bayit, by the way. Yeah. You don't get angry, so you have peace at home, everything is okay, you know. But but this is how it works. Our emotions, they have a direct effect to our success. And one of the most important emotions that destroy our success in livelihood is this is anger. Now, the next question should be okay, it's very easy to say, but when it comes, it's very hard to hold ourselves. And sometimes, okay, I'm not going to get angry outside, but I'm still going to be angry inside, so what's the point? I'm still angry. So, okay, if you're going to be angry inside and not outside, at least a little bit of the money you will get. Because it's less anger, but still you lose a lot. Believe me there, remind me if I forget, at the end I will teach you how to not get angry at all. It's very easy. There is a technique. The Torah teach the technique. And then you can stand strong and face this challenge, and by the way, you'll have a good material life. So, this is anger. By the way, right after this Torah, by Rabbi Nachman, Torah number 68, there is Torah number 69. And this Torah is also very, very interesting, and very interesting that they are together. And this Torah says something very interesting about women that also has a connection to emotions, because you know, women are very emotional. They are more emotional than men. That's why the money, the blessing of the money is depend on your wife, more than on the husband. Even though the husband is the one who is mainly go outside and kind of bring the money, but the blessing of the money is coming from the wife. That's what the Torah say. God gave to Abraham because of Sarah. Because of her, not because of him. He gave him because of her. Her zasluga, her merit. So, Rabbi Nachman says there that women each one of us we have three levels of soul. Okay, let's go into Kabbalah a little bit. You like Kabbalah? Each one of us we have three levels of soul. One one soul is called nefesh. It's in the in the um in the liver. The other part of soul is called ruach. It's in the heart. The higher part of soul is called neshama. It's in the brain. Okay? That's why by the way today is the shloshim, right? 30 days for the one who passed away? Yeah. So, why do we do 7 days, 30 days, and then 1 year? You know why? Because in the 7 day the neshama of the person goes up. In the 30 [clears throat] days the ruach of the person goes up completely. And in the 1 year the nefesh of the person goes up completely. And then only very very very small part of the soul stays in the grave. That's where we have those uh stations. So, the lower level of the soul nefesh women also have nefesh. Okay? The nefesh of the wife is connected to the husband. The ruach of the How does it connected? When you get married, so he takes a ring, he give her the ring, right? What happens when he gives her the ring? Huh? Their soul connects. That's why people that never got married, their soul didn't connect. Their soul connects. When the soul connects fully, when he give her the ring, he just give her the surrounding light of him. His soul comes out of him. Yeah, we don't see it in the huppah, but this is what happens in the huppah. His soul comes out and surround her body like an aura. That's what happened in the time of the ring. Then, when they go home, they're together, another part of his soul the as Sorry, this soul that was surrounding her, when they are together, this soul gets in and stays with her forever. Unless there is a get. Hashem Shalom. What is a get? Why Jews need a get? Why you can't just tell, "You know what? Let's separate. Bye." Why do you need a get? And without a get, you still married to him. Because the get is taking out his soul from you. That's why the get is two two letters, gimel and tet. You know that those two letters, the whole Torah, they never together. It's the only two letters that you see you don't see in the whole Torah. They are not together. They're not with each other. Because it's separation. So, when when there is a get, the soul comes out. Or Hashem Shalom, someone passed away, also the soul comes out. Now, while they are married, his soul is in her. She protects it. She keeps it. So, all his blessing depend on her because she has a part of him inside her. Now, what's happening now is very interesting. Since that day that they got married, her soul is increasing or decreasing? Depends on her emotional level. If she is very, very happy, Rabbi Nachman says, "Certain sparks of her soul grows, comes out. There's an aura." You know, when a person happy, what's happened to him? He's like he becomes more uh energy. Right? So, the soul becomes bigger. He calls it, "Sparks of her soul comes out." Rabbi Nachman says, "From those sparks, the money of the husband and her comes." Those sparks and this energy that comes out of her soul when she is happy are making the next uh parnassa livelihood of that family. The more she has those sparks coming out of her soul, the more money they will have. If they have less of it, less money they will have. That's why if you didn't get married yet, get married to a happy wife. And if you got married, make sure she's happy. This is serious things. Now you will understand the Gamara that says Yeah, in Baba Metzia 59, the Gamara says that Rava was teaching his students, "Please, guys, if you want to be rich, respect your wives." What does that mean to respect? Buy them things. Speak to them with respect. Make sure they are happy. Because if they are happy, those sparks coming out and increase the soul and then more money comes and you become rich. Now also the wife needs to understand. There's certain wives that, you know, he tried to make her happy, but she's not. He buys her a a ring and she's like, "What? This ring? Why it's so small?" He takes her to a vacation, she's like, "You You couldn't get a better hotel?" Now she thinks, "Okay, I'm just expressing my emotions." Great, but you're decreasing your parnassa. Why? Because the more you're happy, the more you will have. Now it doesn't matter. He makes you happy, you happy by yourself, just be happy. He needs to make sure to make you happy, but you also have to make sure to be happy when he makes you happy. It's very important. This emotion of happiness, especially in the women, create your blessing in money. Why rich people usually become more and more rich? And poor people, they stay poor most of the times. You know why? Because rich people, because they're rich, they have they have the opportunity to go to vacations, to buy very very expensive things, and automatically their wives feeling more happy. Ah, you're more happy, you get more. The problem when when he's poor, he doesn't have this, and his wife is automatically not happy because life is bad. So, they stay. You understand? If the poor people will understand that they need to be happy, money will come. Now, it's not just the wife. The wife is the main, but also you. The man, if you want to have bracha in parnassa, you need to be happy. The emotion of happiness brings parnassa. Hashem give to happy people even though they don't keep Torah and mitzvot. He give the money. This is not me saying. This is Rabbi Yitzchak from Komarno. He says that why do we see people that are religious and they don't have money? They keep Shabbat. They keep mitzvot. They do a lot of uh you know, bracha. They should be rich. God should give them. Why we see that God doesn't give them? He gives to those who don't do anything. What is this? Where is the justice? Some people ask. Where is the justice? This question I had for years. It was very hard for me. Even when people will ask me, it was very hard for me to answer. You know what the Rabbi from Komarno said? I would never say it unless if I would not see it in writing, I would never say such a thing. He says you should know that God give to happy people, doesn't matter what they do. And because those people that don't keep the Torah and they're very happy in life, even though their happiness is is is no sense. Is is is happiness from empty things. They're not happy from the right things. But they're happy. They get. Their wives are happy. They get. And what's the problems of the religious people? You know what their problem? He says sometimes the religion itself is the problem. Why? Because according to the Torah we should do repentance when we do a mistake. Someone that observe Torah, he knows, "Okay. Oh, I didn't say the bracha. Oh, I said the wrong bracha." "Oh, I broke Shabbat by mistake. I turned on the light." You know, he feels bad. Which is good because you have to work on yourself. You have to repent. "Oh, I just got angry. I just did that." He feels bad. The problem is that religious people constantly are sad. Some- because they don't understand religion properly. Hashem doesn't want us to be sad. He wants you to repent for 2 seconds. "Oh, I did a mistake. That's it. I'm going to do it anymore. Now I'm happy." If you stay sad for another 2 seconds, it's a sin. It's a sin. Bal Shem Tov always said, "More than the evil inclination wants the sin, he wants the sadness after the sin." He likes it more. It gives him more. It's a bigger sin. So, because religious people don't know how to be religious, they don't understand that concept that you have to repent for a few seconds and that's it, then be happy, they stay in the sadness, they lose the money. You can go on religious places and you see people very serious. They don't understand that being like serious like this it's it's it's it's sadness. That's why they don't have blessing. Those who are happy, they have. The grandson of the Bal Shem Tov, Rabbi Baruch from Mezibush, big great tzaddik. I'll tell you a few stories about him today, but one chiddush, one thing that he said very interesting, he said that, you know, according to Kabbalah, there is three names of God they're opening the uh parnassah, the blessing of of money. Three names of God. All those names are hinted in the very famous uh phrase poteach et yadecha umasbiah lechol chai ratzon. It's very uh known, right? Poteach et yadecha it's the acronym of pei, aleph, and yud. Poteach et yadecha, this is one of the names of parnassa. There is another name of parnassa which is even stronger than that. It's the sof teivot, the ending letters. Poteach is chet, et is tav, yedcha is chaf. Chatach, chet, tav, chaf. This is a name of God that when you think about that name brings you blessing of prosperity. Parnassa. Chatach. Okay? Now, says Rabbi Baruch of Mazibush, in the holidays, in the Hashem soon as Shavuot, we have a special mitzvah. What is the special mitzvah in every holiday? Huh? Vesamachta bechagecha vehayita ach sameach. To be happy in the holiday. You have a mitzvah, every second in the holiday that you're happy, let's say you eat a good steak in the holiday, made barbecue, you eat a good steak, you feel good, you make a mitzvah from Torah like putting tefillin. Every second. Now, it says in the Torah, vesamachta bechagecha, you should be happy in the holiday. Vehayita, and you should be ach, only sameach, happy. You should be only happy. Says Rabbi Baruch, look at the ending letters here. Vehayita is tav. Ach is chaf. Sameach is chet. It's the same ending letters of poteach of God. Khatat is the name of God. So one second. Khatat, the name of God of Parnasa, is hinted exactly in the only verse that talks about happiness. You know what that means? It means that if you're not a Kabbalist and you don't know how to make Kabbalot and intentions on the names of God to bring prosperity, you can do just a simple action. Being happy. And when you're being happy, you basically waking up that name. So every time you're happy, let's say you are smiling now. Okay, the name of Khatat comes down to you. You smile again, it comes down again. And the more you do, let's say you dance, it's come down big time. >> [clears throat] >> So this emotion gives you blessing in life. That's what Rabbi Baruch of Mezibuz said. Now, it it is not just saying it. I have a story from him that even show you how much it works. It also works the opposite, by the way. If happiness is giving you prosperity and blessing and Parnasa, sadness does the opposite. And here is a very, very inspiring story. I really like this story. Rabbi Baruch This this story is about Rabbi Baruch of Mazhibuzh. This is the grandson of Baal Shem Tov. The one who says the story, it's his brother, Rabbi Ephraim. Yeah, the author of Degel Machaneh Ephraim, one of the Hasidic books. He writes about his brother. And he says, "I want to tell you something about my brother. My brother was one of the rab- the millionaire rabbis. He was also a rabbi and also a millionaire. He had mazel. Since he was a child, people would give him money all the time. Every business he would do, boom. He's doing well. So, he was a he had a very fancy house. Everything was very, you know, he was rich. One day he lost everything. Mamash everything. And then, it happened so quick. They got to a level that his wife barely had cash to buy a bread for for lunch. Now, Rabbi Baruch was doing something very interesting. Since he got poor, every time she his wife will see him at home, he's clapping, dancing, "Ez Zeh Tov Hashem. Ez Zeh Tov Hashem. How How good is God? How good is God? Thank you for everything." She thought he lost his, you know, people that lose their money, they also sometimes lose their krish up oyacha. How do they say, you know? Miskin, you know, he got such a big He lost so much. He also got some, you know, That's what she thought. The guy is dancing in the house. So, one time she told him like, "Baruch, you understand that we were millionaires and now I don't have money for bread. Do you understand that? What you dancing here? Go work." So, he told her, "I know exactly what I'm doing. And you should join me. Okay, why? He said, "Listen. When someone lose money, it means that the angel of poverty came to him. Everything that happens in life, there is an angel that is um basically uh correspond to that thing. Yeah? Is is uh the word uh achrayi. How you say achrayi? Responsible. Thank you. Oh, we have Israelis here. Good. There is an angel that responsible for every everything that happens in life, right? There is an angel for the trees, there's an angel of the sea, there is an angel for poverty. Yeah? The Gemara says that there's certain things that bring this angel of poverty to your house, chos v'shalom. For example, people that disrespect bread. Sometimes bread is on the floor, people stand on the bread, step on the bread, angel of poverty comes to that place. That's why very important to to not uh to not step on on even crumbs. There's different things that the Gemara says angel of poverty comes there. He told there Rabbi Baruch, "We see that angel of poverty came to our home. We lost." Now, the angel of poverty gets his energy, you know from what? From sadness and worry of people. When you are sad, he can come close to you and take suck energy. Suck life. Because the negative side in the world, they don't have energy by themselves. They have to take it from the holiness. So, from sadness, your sadness, you lose a certain share of your neshama, of your soul, he takes it. So, he says, "If sadness gives him food, if I'm going to be sad that I lost my money, which normally this is what happened to people that lose money, they are worried, they are sad, they don't know what to do, nothing goes, I'm giving him more and more. He stays at home." So, what do you think I'm going to let him stay? EVERY DAY I'M GOING TO DANCE HERE. I GIVE HIM ZERO. I don't want to give him anything. A crumb he's not going to get from me. That's why every single at home singing, dancing, thank you, Hashem. I love you, my wife. I love world. Thank you for making me poop. I know it's very good for me. Rabbi Ephraim his brother says, "And what do you think happened?" He became a millionaire again. Because he knows the technique. He's smart. Most people fall in this. Something happened in his business. Boom, he lost a certain amount of money. He put money in the stock market. He lost it. Then he's like, "What What a day I had today." Comes home, doesn't want to talk to anyone. He doesn't feel well. Wants to be in the bed. Start to blame his wife, "It's because of you." Angel of poverty says, "Ish tabach shemol ad." Open his tent, put a table, I have a permanent house. >> [clears throat] >> That's what happens. Same thing there, ladies. I don't have mood today. I don't have mood today. Okay, another $1,000 off. But what why? You don't have mood today. That's your problem. Make a mood. Uh how do I make a mood? I don't have mood. Look at the sky. Look at the world. Look at You know why I shouldn't don't give to people that are not happy? It's very It's very logical. I'll tell you very logical. When you're not happy, in other words, you said to Hashem, "God, I don't like your world." I don't like it. I don't like the weather that you did today. I don't like the family you gave me. I don't like When you say to Hashem, "I don't like." Hashem says, "No appreciation." Imagine you have a kid that everything you do for him he doesn't like. You make him food, "Oshplow, I don't want." "I don't like the I don't like the carrots." You make him bachsh, "I don't like the the coriander." "I don't like the meat. I don't like Would you have Would you have Would you have motivation to to give him more? Would you want to give him more? No. If God is the same. God is the same. But but I just lose $300,000. Okay, I gave you a wife. I gave you kids. They're all alive. They're all doing good in school. You have what to eat at home. You have a You have a roof. Smile for that. and if you don't says you don't appreciate. Okay, I don't give to sad people. I'm sorry. This is a key. The emotion of happiness bring prosperity. parnassa bracha success. Why there are people that everything they touch God bless that because they have happiness. Saying that I want to tell you another secret. The main happiness that bring wealth and bracha it's in the holiday. The holidays, Hashem said, I want you to be extra happy. Why? Because all the blessing that you get during the year coming from the holidays. That's why the Torah said, be happy in the holidays because even if you're not happy all year, but you try your best in the holidays, this is a big thing. You will have parnassa. Not as much as if you would be happy all the time, but you will have the main parnassa because the holidays you're happy. Now, what happens in the holidays usually? Holidays is the time of fights. Right? Why? Everybody is home. And you want everything to be uh perfect. You have a you want to have a good table, 18 salads, high. Aha. This families, they have 18 salads. High saladin. This family, they have salad high. High is one salad. She wants 18 salads. 18. But those 18 salads comes with anger. Those 18 salads comes with screaming at everybody. Come with sadness. Then she comes to the she comes to the table like I want to sleep. Those salads don't We don't need those salads. I'm sorry that I'm saying I'm saying the truth. Why? You just lost money. >> [snorts] >> A lot of money. If you would see how much money you lost because of those salads. >> [laughter] >> You're going to go and meet and buy salad and then and then >> [cough] [clears throat] >> Holiday unfortunately yet say I don't know if you're going to be happy in the holiday. If I'm going to make everything smooth in your holiday, you're going to have a lot of chef of parnassah you're going to have a lot of prosperity. So what does the yet say I don't know do in the holiday squeezes all the fights. ROSH HASHANAH BOOM. SHAVUOT ANOTHER BOOM. You start to fight on the smallest things. Why did you put this there? Why didn't you cook that? What? And what happens? The angel of poverty comes down and that's it. Found a new place to live. This is why the Torah says in the holiday be only happy. Must it only? Only is mean don't focus on anything. Don't focus on salads. Don't focus on the on the table. Don't focus on what you wear even. First of all, focus on being happy. Shabbat holidays most important. You know what the um You know what the Baal Shem Tov says? He says one of the most important mitzvahs before Shabbat. One of the biggest preparations before Shabbat What is the biggest preparation before Shabbat? Huh? No, not to be happy. On Shabbat, be happy. Before Shabbat, what's the What's the most important preparation? What? Mikveh? Getting a shower? What? Dress nice? Prepare the table? What is the most important? Candles? Prepare the candles? Air of you don't do you don't do. Someone does it for you. To buy flower for the wife. >> To buy flower for the wife? Nice, but not It's not the most important. To be happy? Not the most important. You know what's the most important preparation for Shabbat? I can tell you that I I I I I can bet that almost nobody does it here. It's to sleep. On Friday afternoon, biggest mitzvah to take a nap. There is a rabbi who lived in Ukraine. The Rabbi Elazar Mimoun Katch from Munkatch. Munkatch Rabbi, he was a great rabbi. You know what he said? I read it with my eyes. He said, "I don't understand why God didn't put in the 10 Commandments to sleep before Shabbat." So, I don't understand. He holds that it needs to be in the 10 Commandments. >> Rebono Shel Olam, what's what's so important about sleeping before Shabbat? It's a waste of time. It's not a waste of time because you when you sleep before Shabbat, how do you come to Shabbat? With powers, with happiness. No, it's during the day. You don't have to say Shema. For both. You don't have to take a 2-hour nap. 15 minutes, go on the sofa. That's the problem. You know that most more important to prepare the power, the energy than prepare the salads. That's what I'm telling you. People don't understand that. But I have to cook for Shabbat. This is second level. Which one? White Acura, white Lexus. BMW sedan. Big black van. Big black van. White Acura SUV, white Lexus SUV. They're all tzadikim, but they blocked someone. They didn't pay attention. So, You know, So, why he says it's so important to go to sleep? Because you cannot be happy when you are tired. You cannot be happy when you have no energy. And the most important is to be happy on Shabbat because this is blesses all the week. And if you're happy on Shavuot, it's blesses all the year. You understand? A lot of people give 10%. They think they're going to be rich, right? They say Rabbi says if you give 10%, that's it. You're going to be a level five. So, I want to I'm going to give 10%. I know people that give 10% and they come and complain. What do I have? I'm a half a year in. I don't see any changes. I tell him you give 10%? Of course. Of course I want to I call I give. You know what I asked him? You like to give? He says, "Well, it doesn't matter if I like or I don't like. I give." >> [laughter] >> So, I tell him, "Okay, I'll tell you something. You know that Rabbi Chaim Vital writes in the introduction to his book Shaar Hamitzvot, he says that every mitzvah that you do in this world, you don't get reward in this world. You only get reward in the world to come. Because for mitzvot, you cannot pay in physical money. So, but one second. I see in the Talmud always they say if you respect your parents, you're going to get this. If you light candles of Shabbat in the highest way, your kids are going to be smart. And if you give 10%, so you're going to get rich here. So, it doesn't make sense. Why do you say that everything is in the world to come? Says Rabbi Chaim Vital, in this world you only get reward, cash, if you're happy in the mitzvah. Means if I give now 10% but when I give the 10% it was like You delay it. You know, you need to give it today or he says no, I'll keep it with me another week. Maybe must be I will come. >> [laughter] >> If you give it with not with happiness it doesn't work. You'll get rewarded in the world to come. You're not going to get money here. You know, the 10% being rich doesn't work without happiness. He says it. That's where most people fall. They don't get the the They don't get the the being rich because they don't give it with the They don't want to give it. They give it because they have to. This is what the emotion do. So, how do we become happy? And not get angry? For that you need only two things. You need to believe in two things with all your body and soul. If you believe in those two things you never get angry at anyone. And you always will be happy. Doesn't matter what happen in your life. Those two things is the the the the most obvious things but unfortunately we don't believe in them. We believe in them in our mind. We don't believe in them in our heart. I'll tell you what those two things are. One thing, you have to believe that everything that happens in this world is controlled by God. God is doing everything. God organized the lecture today. He brought us here. He made sure the food is good. He made sure that everybody, whatever journey you had to come here, he was with you through that journey. And anything you do in life, God is in control. You have to believe that God is in control of every word that a person tell you. If you come to work and one of your friends or workers told you something that embarrass you, that puts you down, you believe if you believe that God controls and does everything, also God allowed him to say it. And if you would not deserve it, God would make him not say it because he controls everything, right? If you lost $20,000, it means God made you lose it. You believe in that? If someone stole $50,000 from you, who helped him to steal? Who made sure that he does it? God. Who gave the green light and the okay? Do you know that the Gamara says that the thief before he goes to to steal, he prays to God, says, "Hashem, make sure that they don't catch me, you know." And Hashem helps him because he prayed. So, if you believe in this very, very, very simple, obvious belief, because if you believe in God, you cannot believe in God that doesn't control everything because it's not God. God has to be in control of everything. It means that anything that happens to you fell, it's God. Someone drive into your car, car accident, it's with God's permission. Everything is God. This is very simple. We know it here, but unfortunately, we don't know it in our heart. You know how I know we don't know it in our heart is because if you would know it in your heart, someone will tell you something bad about you, will put you ego down. If you understand it's from God, you'll smile and say, "Okay, God is talking to me. God wants me to hear it. Thank you for letting me know." If you live like this, you would never get angry at anyone because anything your wife get mad at you, God wants it. Your husband was late, God allows it. If you live like this, there's no anger. And also, now this is one thing. The second thing you have to believe is that God controls everything and whatever he is doing, it's for good. So, your husband was late, it's God made him late for you for good. How is it good? You don't know. But you have to believe in God that somehow maybe in 1 year you will know. Maybe in 10 minutes you will know. Maybe we we will not know at all. In 120 you will know. But it's for sure for good because God does everything for the best. Also why people get sick? It's also good. Yes. Yeah. So am I understanding you correctly? So if someone says something to you and you feel a certain emotion Yeah. are you supposed to ignore that emotion and say or acknowledge it and say this is how you're supposed to feel at this moment? Oh, so if someone tells you something, a reaction of an emotion comes. This emotion can destroy your life. It can destroy your if you get angry. It can destroy your if you get sad. It's also can destroy your health like we said in the beginning. So you don't want this emotion. But what if it's there? Oh, so now I teach you how to not this have this emotion from the beginning. We have this emotion because we think he did something to me. But he didn't do anything. God decided that now you need to get a certain embarrassment. Why? Because embarrassment cleans your soul. Because you deserve something to suffer to become a better person. Because you needed you had a decree on yourself that you needed to get a very very bad disease and God says okay, I don't want to give her this disease so it's better someone will embarrass her and that will clean it off. So we're supposed to accept these negative emotions? You should you supposed to hug the guy and tell him thank you. You saved me from something. I don't know what. What if he did it on purpose? You understand? I I know I take it to the extreme, but this is the truth. So, we're not supposed to deal with our emotions. No. Again, this is this emotion, this reaction can is a wrong reaction. Because this emotion is towards the person that he's not he's not the one who made it to you. But God gave us emotions, right? You just said that in the beginning of the lecture. We have so many emotions. He gave you good emotions, and he gave you bad emotions. The bad emotions, you need to balance them. Anger is not a good emotion. You understand? Keeping grudge is not a good hatred is not a good emotion. This emotion eats you, makes you sick. You understand? Say not to hold anything against anyone, and say that everything that is happening to me, the way I'm feeling, is from Hashem, and it's for my better good, but good for me. It's not to say it. You have to believe This is very logical to believe in it. God made it. God made this guy do it to me. And God does everything for good. Even though you're feeling not good. But by believing in this, the feeling will change. You understand? Yes. All right, what about changing your circumstances? Like if you Changing what? Circumstances. Like someone does something that would cause you harm, accept it? So, you don't have to like put yourself into that job, into that position, right? Okay, so this is running away from the problem. Okay? This is not solving the problem, because she says, "Okay, just run away from the circumstances." Okay? But first of all, not in every situation you can run away. Sometimes it's your kid. Why, you going to run away from your son? Okay? Sometimes it's your husband. Uh, so divorce? That's why people divorce. So, this is not an answer. This is not a solution. The solution is to understand it's not my son. Yeah? Let's say you have a you have a son that always is I don't know speaks very rude. Okay? That's who is he. You can get angry at him every day and live terrible life, lose your parnassa because of that, being sad, and also lose a lot of blessings because of that. And also have a bad relationship with your son because of that. Because too, it's not good. From the other side, you can practice what I just said, which is the right way of life, and to understand who made this kid? God. Who made him behave like this? God. If God would think that I don't deserve to have such a behavior from my son, he would stop him. And maybe to other people he doesn't behave like this. It's to me. It means that this is God's will. If this is God's will, I accept it. So, what about your hishtadlus? Like changing a job, moving to a different neighborhood. Where does your hishtadlus come in? So, your hishtadlus first of all is to believe what I just said. Now, after you believe in it, yeah, you can also if you have if it's very hard for you to live with this emunah, and you're able to go out and step out of the situation, fine. By the way, I I think that you will have the situation coming to your life again from someone else. Cuz God challenges you. He wants to test your faith. How much you believe that everything is from me. Whatever your husband told you, it's from me, you believe in that? So, don't get the band matters to your husband. Whatever your son did, you believe it's from me, so don't get mad at your How do you know that you really, really a believer that you don't get mad at anyone because everything is a sham? And this life is a peaceful life. This life is a life without anger. This life is a life of happiness. No sadness. You lost money, it's God. He knows what he's doing. It's for good. Thank you, Hashem. You understand? Hashem is really that strong? What do you mean? I don't know. I'm getting the feeling that people don't believe Hashem is that strong. Of course, everything is Hashem. Can say it again. What's your question? So, if I do something to another person, but I should not feel guilty that I did it because now I know that God made me do it. No, you're fair. I like those guys. I like them. >> [laughter] >> Philosophical question. I'll I'll I'll answer you. It's very, very simple. It's a good question. I'll tell you the question. He says, "So, okay, so if I I'll I'll exaggerate a little bit with your permission, okay? I smack someone. So, it's God smack you. >> [laughter] >> Right? So, I don't have to feel guilty. I mean, God did it. So, listen to this. You're right and you're wrong in the same time. When this guy got a smack, okay? Did he need to get the smack? Yes. Yes, because God decided that he's going to get a smack. Okay, but why you gave him the smack? He could get the smack for someone. Someone else could give it to him. Because you decided and you wanted to do something bad, God has to punish you because you did a wrong decision. But he got the result that anyways he would get. So, another example, a thief goes to steal money. The mother says, "Do you know if the thief let's say he wants to steal $20,000. Let's say in the middle of going to steal it, he will do teshuvah. He will say, "Wow, what do I'm what am I doing, you know? I'm going home. I'm not going to steal." He will get the $20,000 in a different way because this is his. He has a freedom of choice to get it in the wrong way or to get in the right way. The result is always written. Same thing here. The result, you need to get a loss, you need to get a smack, you need to get an embarrassment. You will get an embarrassment anyway, but why through this man? He decided to do bad to you, he will have a problem with God, but you don't have a problem with him because regardless you will get it. Did I answer your question? Good. We shouldn't take it to our heart personally? Why personally? It's God. He insults us or embarrasses us or does something wrong, maybe we shouldn't take it to our heart. We should look into ourselves and thank Hashem. Of course. No, it's not him. You will get it anyways. I should thank him. Of course. I I know people that if someone embarrassed them, they pay them money. He goes, give him a present $100. Why? You embarrassed me. Could be that I needed to have cancer, you embarrassed me, maybe the cancer went away because of your embarrassment. Thank you very much. You cleaned my soul. This is the right way of thinking. Unfortunately, they don't teach it in schools. What if I'm a nurse and I make a lot of money and you know I deserve respect? You deserve what? Respect, honor. You don't deserve any respect. God give the money. Is it for both men and women or just For everybody, for animals even. God does everything. Okay, so it's very late already. But um Everybody understood the idea, right? So what did we did we learn today? Money comes with anger management. With happy wife, with happy person. Sadness brings poverty. Emotions affects our parnassa, our life, our success, our mazal. How do we fight those bad emotions? Two things we have to remember for the rest of our life and to every day in life put it in our mind. God is doing everything and he's doing it for good. If you got certain daughter that you don't like the way she behaves you have to understand that God wants you to have this daughter. And he does it for good. How? You will find out in this world, in the world to come, but you have to believe in that and then you are happy. Because you trust that God knows what he's doing. I wanted to say another secret today, but um maybe I said I I'm going to say it very, very quick. After you got the blessing in life, there is a way to keep it. There's a way to keep it? There's a way of keeping it. Baruch Hashem Hashem gave you parnassah tovah. He gave you success in life. All the doors are open for you. How do I keep it? There's one thing that keeps any blessing. It's called shalom. Peace. The Baal Shem Tov says that if you have peace, blessing will not go away from you. You're going to continue being blessed and blessed and blessed and blessed. Every area that you break the peace, you argue, you make fights, you make holes in the vessel, the blessing goes away. You can see it in business. People, brothers, they had a business, everything was good, and the moment that they started a little bit, everything goes away. Also in family. But I want to tell you another secret. This is I use it sometimes, and I think this is the maybe the only way to make God actually do what you want. Let's say you want to have something in life. Usually you can get it with money, right? You want to have a car, money. You want to have a house, money. That's why people like money so much because you can actually buy things and have things with money. It's very powerful tool. Can I convince God with money? Let's say I want I want um I don't know, I have a back pain, Has v'shalom, and I want God to solve my back pain. Can I Can I tell God I give you money, you solve my back pain? No. God doesn't need your money, he gives it to you. But there is one thing that you can pay God with. And God actually take the purchase. Only one thing. It's called peace. Hashem loves peace. You can pay to Hashem to God with peace. What does that mean? I'll give you an example. Imagine now, I don't know, you need a Yeshua. How do you say Yeshua in English? Huh? Salvation in something. In wealth, in health, in doesn't matter, with your kids. Something problem in life, you need to solve it. Only God can solve it. How can I convince God to do it? You can pay him. You can say like this, Hashem, I have a neighbor that we are not in a good relationship. For whatever happened. Doesn't matter who is right. Always you think you are right, he thinks he is right. You say to God, Hashem, I go to him now. I tell him that I'm wrong. I'm sorry. You were right. Please forgive me. Let's make peace. I'll do the peace because I know you like peace. Please give me that thing that I want. Hashem cannot tell you no. Because he accept that this type of purchase of of payment. You argue with your wife, she you doesn't want to talk to her for 2 days. Whatever happened. You come to Hashem and you say, Hashem, please, my son does bad in school. I want him to do good. You can make it. It's easy for you. I'm going to go to my wife. I'm going to tell that I'm I'm wrong. I'm sorry. I'm a bad husband. Please forgive me. We'll make peace. Please make my son successful in school. This is works. The problem that it's hard. I will if you I mean understand this, you can get a lot of salvation in different areas in different places in life. So, remember few things in from this class. One, anger is your best biggest enemy. Happiness is the best tool. Sadness is the second enemy. Make your wife happy, everything will be good. Be happy yourself wife, everything will be excellent. And remember that to get to that level, you need to believe in two things. That God is doing everything, nobody does anything to me, only God through people. And whatever is happening is good, even if I don't see it. And keep the peace everywhere, and when you need something from God, make sure you make peace with someone and you ask God for that. May God bless each one of you with much prosperity and parnassah with health and shalom bayit shalom bayit amiti having children, see nachat from your children. Zivug hagun to those who need to find your soulmate, and bracha and hatzlacha in Torah and all what we do. Thank you for Chazak for organizing it and to the organizers, Marina and others. May God bless you. Amen and amen.