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Rabbi Yirmiyahu Ullman - Orchot Tzaddikim: Repentance - Part 4
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Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
oh yes we did the up to number ten or
nine at least kufsa designed well we did
we did remember we recently we skipped
some chapters
recently we skipped some short chapters
in order to do this section on shura
okay
so
we're here on
this
chapter on chuva
in organic
and at this section of the chapter
is enumerating
a list of i believe
was it to 20
20 things
which are associated with the person's
doing chuva and we're up to the tenth
one
so on kufstar design you have siri the
first one is that he should the first
one is that he has to work very hard on
regretting what he did wrong
the second one is to
leave behind the transgression
the third one is to
feel upset
right
upset over having lost what he had in
order to regain it
the fourth one was um feeling regret not
in the in the realm of um emotion but in
the in the realm of deed
yes which means you know actually
physically feeling feel physically
feeling remorse
over the things that he did wrong
the fifth one is worry
concern
about the future if he continues along
this way the sixth one is feeling
embarrassment over having done it wrong
the seventh one is feeling humility in
one's heart
as a result of having done
this wrong deed
and um therefore rather than rebelling
he'll humbly ask god for uh for
forgiveness
the eighth is to be humble indeed not
just with with one's you know one's
approach internal approach but in one's
deed
meaning
a person who's upset about his spiritual
stature
will dress
more modestly and so forth and so on
the ninth one
is to work very hard on breaking one's
typist because even things which a
person engages in which are permitted
will cause him ultimately to look for
things of enjoyment and things that are
forbidden
that's the ninth
yeah
and the tenth is what we're up to now
kufu zai
siri la shiv pa aloi
ketzad a mistake in varayas one who
looks for example uh upon things which
are forbidden sexual forbidden sexual
relationships people who with which
there are forbidden sexual relationships
a man a woman a woman a man vice versa
he should
lower his eyes and hara yasik batara he
is involved in lashanara he has to
correct that by being engaged in torah
behold
and with any organ of his body that he
transgressed he should try with that
organ that part of his body to do a
mitzvah
that's what he means by la hashif
means to
return
through correcting
the actual body part with which he
transgressed
therefore the sages said
the righteous
with the same instrument through which
they transgressed they seek favor
the sages said
if you made packages of transgressions
also connect them
it's make packages of mitzvos
lavera if one's legs run quickly to do
transgressions human rights in the roots
the mitzvah let them run toward mitzvah
let them run to shoal
a mouth that spoke evenly
so he should train his mouth to speak
truthfulness
up
and let him only speak with words of
wisdom
if his hands were responsible for
spilling blood innocent blood
let him open his hand to the poor
and i would not be surprised if the
author also has in mind here spilling
dom noki is referring to
the white blood
yeah
that uh
body fluid that's responsible for
maintaining life through reproduction
one who spills that blood that innocent
blood
can rectify
having done so by giving charity with
his hand instead a ramos
is his hands are elevated
let him be humble and lower his eyes lev
if his heart is constantly
scheming
place in his heart
the words of torah
so the saying that a person should
return to hashem commentary to what he
did wrong if he transgressed with any
particular body part let him correct
that transgression by using that party
body part for a mitzvah
the eleventh
krippus drachov let him look into his
ways
it
we will look into our ways
and return to hashem
let him
check himself regarding the
transgressions that he's done
and this has three practical tangible
positive results
the first one is
since he is investigating searching into
the deeds of all of his life so he will
remember what he's done wrong
and
du chuva on them
because
just the
vidui the
admission to having done these things
wrong that itself is a major factor of
getting atonement
hasheni the second
advantage to ellis that there is
in investigating one's ways looking into
one way is the shaney should you score
yes
he'll remember how many transgressions
he actually has
and this will cause him to continue to
be humble
because he remembers his misdeeds
ashley the third iii
even though it accepts upon himself
to depart from transgressing
he still has to know what he did wrong
is
in order to make some protective fence
again
against these things that he's already
transgressed so even if he's done shiva
and he's accepted about himself he's not
going to do it again he still has to
remember the things that he did wrong
because it points out to him his weak
points and in this way he's going to
safeguard himself from doing these
things again
that's very important because you might
think
once a person has done something wrong
and then he does chuva and he regrets
what he has done wrong and he accepts
the fact he's not going to do it again
it would be better if he not think about
it anymore because if he thinks about it
then he's likely to be drawn into doing
again he's going to be stirred into
being interested in doing it again
so he's coming to tell you even though
that's true there is such a havamina not
to think about it because a person might
become drawn to do it again still it's
important to have in mind you know that
this is this is a point of weakness and
he has to address it and be aware aware
of it in order to safeguard himself from
doing it again so i guess the difference
is is this that if he's thinking about
it in a way which is going to cause him
to remember it and then be interested in
it and then stir up the desire to do it
again that's clearly bad and it's
probably better that he not think about
it
even if his intention is to safeguard
himself because he knows by thinking
about it he's just going to be drawn
into doing it again
but if he knows that he's not going to
be drawn into it and he certainly
shouldn't think about it too much
just in general i know i have that
situation so
but if he goes dwelling on the details
he's likely to be drawn in so just think
about only very generally to know to be
aware there's a problem
because it's easier for a person to fall
back into transgressing into the things
that he's used to doing and because of
his habit in doing them they become less
stringent in his eyes
plus the fact that if he did something
like this regularly it's indication that
that's a particular weakness of his
having acted upon that weakness and
transgressed he actually weakens his
resistance against it because it becomes
less severe in his eyes so now that he's
done chuva he still has to be extra
careful
mukahole kashu mask lavrie there's like
a sick person who starts to get well
second is
he has to be very careful during that
transition period becoming sick to
becoming well again not to do anything
that's going to cause him to become sick
again so a person who's been cooped up
all
time inside because he's ill he starts
to get better you're not going to say go
outside and have a breath of fresh air
when it's cold outside
he's not strong enough for that he has
to become fully cured and then after and
then once he comes strong enough the
fresh air will help him but it would
actually be better to be in in in stale
air
yeah even though it's not so healthy but
it's warm because of his weakness that
we better be in stale air than to go
give him some healthy dose of fresh air
when that fresh air is too cold
one who is sick from transgression
when he carts to do triva so if this is
he has to be very careful
so let's say you have a person who
has lived most of his life in a
non-religious unobservant way
and he in order to rectify his ways has
to start learning about the torah's path
the torah's teachings what's considered
to be right and wrong and it comes into
yeshiva
now that yeshiva is obviously going to
be a very sterile environment because
it's intended to preserve the spiritual
well-being of the people who are there
and a person might say
this is unhealthy
certainly it wasn't god's intention some
people might say and it might be true
for some people it wasn't god's
intention that i be in a yeshiva all day
long
every day for the rest of my life
i have to work
i have to support myself i'm supposed to
get married and have children that means
i'm going to be out involved in the
world in a way which is more than i'm
involved here in yeshiva
so since that's the case i might as well
just go now
no
why because the person is still in a
state of becoming cured as it were
and therefore it would be better to be
in the sterile environment even though
it might be a bit claustrophobic even
though the the you know the air might be
a little stale meaning it doesn't have
within it the variety of things that
people are engaged with but he's not
currently ready to go and breathe that
variety and still maintain
his commitment to the torah after it
becomes well
then it might be appropriate to expose
the person to the environment right to
the to the environment
so yeah the elements thank you that's
what i was looking for
yeah expose itself to the elements that
exist outside
yeah
for certain people that might not be
appropriate at all it might be better in
fact that if they can they spend the
rest of their days and connect it into
youtube as much as possible but that's
certainly not relevant for everybody the
point is even for the first people
that's not relevant for it'll be better
for at least a temporary situation where
they're kind of being doctored back into
health
yes that they be
protected from the outside elements
so that they gain enough strength and
health to ultimately be able to expose
themselves to their outside elements and
remain healthy
that's what he means here so a person
starts to become healthy inside of the
zombie audience to be very careful
let's be very careful
he's just interacting with people in
ways and in places at times which are
inappropriate to the torah so he has to
be removed from all of that in order to
correct himself
and once he does so then you can go back
to interacting with people but now make
proper decisions about who and when and
what context and so forth and so on
very good analogy i think
mm-hmm
up to the the twelfth one
god
he should investigate and appreciate
learn
the severity of all of the specific
transgressions that he's done
for which one he could be liable for the
lashes
o meses based in or he could be liable
god forbid to be put to death by bastion
or karas who could be spiritually cut
off
when he knows how the severity of the
transgression
his heart will become commensurately
bitter according to the severity of what
he's done wrong and he will add his
humility in terms of doing chuva so he
has to know not only about
what he's done
and whether it's right or wrong but if
it's wrong
right just how wrong it really is in
order to be able to do proper truva on
it you have to appreciate the severity
of it
it's not that correct to say well i
don't uh you know i i don't i can't be
bothered by knowing exactly how severe
it is
um
and uh i just know i did it wrong so i'm
not gonna do it anymore no you
if you don't understand the severity of
it you want to address it properly right
it's like telling a person you know when
you cross the street it's dangerous
you know
when you cross the street you know
you know
there might be danger so you have to be
careful
so the person's you know
no he's like
yeah you know the person like you know
be careful about this
if you're more than a person you say you
know crossing the the road is so
dangerous that you could actually be
killed
so he's going to take it much more
seriously
so therefore it's important for a person
to know he can't like just like he can't
put his head in the sand like an ostrich
and blind himself to whether it's right
or wrong so when it's wrong he can't
blind himself to what the you know what
the severity of that of that wrongness
is he has to know
it is possible that if this person goes
into how serious it is and starts
reading about all the
you know very terrible punishments that
are associated with what he's done wrong
and the result of that he's going to go
out of his mind
he's going to like just get totally
turned off and blown out you know and he
said you know what
whatever
reject the whole thing so probably
probably better that he not know exactly
how severe it is and just know that look
this is something wrong and you have to
regret it and make you know you're not
going to do it again
you know you start going into the into
detail just how wrong it is with this
particular person has resulted the
result is going to be that he's going to
start
he's going to fly off the handle and say
it's too much for me so i'm not going to
correct this or anything else for that
matter in fact i'm going to just throw
it all throw it all away so then it's
probably not worth going into the
details and of course there's a phrase
of the sages which is
right muttov
if there's something that somebody's
doing wrong and they don't know that
it's wrong
in certain circumstances actually better
that they not know that it's wrong
yeah than than risking a scenario where
even if they know that it's wrong
they'll still continue to do it
there's a muta she's showing it better
that they're going to dress anyway
meaning even if they know it's true it's
prohibited they're still going to do it
so better better that they do it
accidentally then they do it on purpose
yes yeah
so you know it depends and we
we say that's you know something which
is before torah something which is
explicitly forbidden in the torah we
don't say that
something that's explicitly forbidden in
the torah we don't say that mutation on
the museum you have to tell the
president the torah prohibits this
but it's something which is not like
explicit it's only learned out
indirectly from the torah or if it's
dora bonan
and the person doesn't know so if you
have reason to believe that even if he
knows he's not going to
refrain from doing it
better that he do it by
by mistake then let him know that this
is forbidden and he's going to go ahead
and do it anyway even though he doesn't
you know because he doesn't
care so there's scenarios where like i
said perhaps a person shouldn't know
that it's forbidden or
even if he knows his forbidden person
shouldn't know just how serious it is
if he's going to do it anyway or as a
result of that you know he's going to
come to transgress even more than the
better that he doesn't know
the 13th
he should work hard on accepting the
fact that the transgressions which are
generally
less severe should be viewed by him as
being just as severe as the ones who he
considers to be severe
konnichi stockholm
like looking at ladies
with our voice in him throwing and
talking to them
or dwarian battalion or talking other
types of nonsense
bottle or just wasting his time
holasky or shem shaming
or mentioning god's name unnecessarily
all of these and many more like them
in the eyes of many people
eve jose even in the eyes of of of of
great rabbis in our times in in his time
so many centuries ago hemlock shawn
didn't call us
they're considered to be not so serious
to look at women
you know in a desirable in a way of
desire
or to be speaking to them and and you
know
chatting chatting with them
light-heartedly
you know like
sometimes like even like flirting
you know with women this type of stuff
that's forbidden
right
talking not nonsensical
non-important things
so even even in his generation even even
great rabbis didn't view these things as
seriously as they should you'll get you
know i think a rabbi who who accepts
let's say you know
you know members of the community into
his office or you know takes questions
and shines from people personally
it has to
really
um
you know
is it a difficult situation because
you know
on the one hand uh you know
men have questions women have questions
often women's questions can be directed
to the rabbi through the husbands but
sometimes women's questions can't be
except the rabbi has to decide should
accept women's questions only over the
phone or in person
or if at all if not
on the other hand you don't want to make
women feel like they're not important
members of the community which they are
and it's one thing if the women feel
like men should not be gazing at them
but here in the end of the day it's a
rabbi
and they're talking about words of torah
why shouldn't the rabbi accept me i'm a
member of the community i also need you
know and her point of view is you know
she's she's a she's a human being
you know a person a personality a member
of the community she also need looking
for spiritual guidance
you know which she might get from
rebeccans but there might be certain
things that she you know only the rabbi
can provide for
so she doesn't feel towards the rabbi
anything but the rabbi you know might as
a man generally might be more sensitive
to looking at women so he doesn't want
to offend her need to have a connection
to a rabbi on the other hand
you know if he's you know taking
questions from women personally all the
time so he's seeing many women and it's
very hard for a person not to
look at a person and judge that person
looks intelligent or not or that person
is attractive or not i mean so
it like it becomes very difficult do you
not accept at all and if you do like
under what circumstances and and how do
you
establish a relationship with that
person not look at all but the person
might be offended or from time to time
look at the person's kind of you know
decide but avoid eye contact but if the
person's not getting eye contact they
might not feel they're being paid
attention to
eye
yeah you know imagine yeah it'd be very
you know very difficult
so you know the different rabbis have
different approaches and each one's got
to decide you know to find you know the
what seems to him to be the correct path
for him
but uh it's not not an easy you know
situation
so um
you know um
unfortunately you know people are people
and even rabbis are people
and you know sometimes you you know hear
situations uh where you know rabbis are
uh who seem to be involved in
inappropriate behavior you know
you know at different different levels
of of of syria you know
maybe some of the accusations are not
true but some might be true and you can
think about a person you know who is
constantly you know in contact might
ultimately because of his own weaknesses
come to uh abuse
the the position
uh where he's
viewed as being
you know
um a rabbi and proper and a holy man and
somebody that you can speak to
personally about all types of different
things
but over time i mean if a man is hearing
certain things from women time and time
again he might come to weaken his guard
and come to be attracted or think about
women in a certain way i mean it's very
difficult
some people it's not only of course
rabbis the same thing with doctors i
mean or lawyers any you know it can
happen to anybody
it can happen to anybody of course you
expect more from a rabbi but that's my
point rabbis are human beings too and
sometimes and sometimes
and sometimes even rabbis are
are suspected of being in improper
situations and therefore this is very
difficult i'm just trying to figure out
what he means here when he says even
great rabbis of his generation don't
take the idea of looking at women
you know improperly they don't take that
seriously enough you know how can that
be but maybe a person
might justify looking
you know for certain reasons and then
can be accustomed to it and therefore
ultimately not take it
seriously and even transgress
as a result of that
there are four reasons why a person
should view these seemingly light things
as serious as well
a person it's wrong to look and focus
and contemplate
the smallness of the transgression it's
a transgression so it's wrong to focus
on how small it is
look at the greatness of the one who
commanded it
right
this could be compared to a king
siva the schneider who commanded to two
of his servants
the one he said bring to me drink cute
son and the odd is very thirsty
the other one he commanded to bring
something which he doesn't need so much
visa caller
and he warned each one bring me what i
am asking in one case it's drink which
he needs very much and the other case is
something which doesn't need very much
but he warned them he said if you don't
bring it
but vidaya call me
certainly
in either case if the person doesn't do
what he was told he's liable you know
for treason the death penalty
says
because they punish him whether he stole
a little bit or a lot he still stole
guard all of these commandments should i
give you today
cursed is he who does not fulfill the
words of this torah la says and to do
the commandments
even though some are greater and some
are less some are more stringent and
some are less
but the point is you're supposed to keep
it
so
whether it seems significant whether it
seems more severe or not is really not
the point the point is you have to keep
everything
hasheni
the second factor is kimisha oyverhakola
another reason why you have to treat the
seemingly less stringent things as if
they were stringent because
sometimes by transgressing the light
things many times azi hamura
then it becomes severe it's true
transgressing at once might not be
particularly severe but once you do it
again and again and again and again and
then again
yeah well more than saying he's saying
more than that the 10 times
that he does it
equals the one time of doing something
else
there's something which is very severe
another thing which is less severe
right
he does the thing which is severe only
once in a while
because it's very severe and he wouldn't
come to do that very often let's say
once a year
but the other thing he does a hundred
times throughout the year
it could be that the hundred times that
he does the instagram things actually
adds up to being more severe than the
one thing that he only does once a year
keith starfo and oshie i'll call the
farm because the punishment will accrue
each time
hashelishi the third reason why a person
has to treat those seemingly s slight
things as severe
that's the shelishi
that's your point moroccan
because when he gets used to doing these
transgressions
because they're not so severe and then
they come to him as if they're permitted
the lord isn't guard protect themselves
from anymore
he um like a person who is a heretic
at least regarding this thing
you're a heretic
a heretic me
i believe in god
i dive in
i put on filling
i do all the mitzvos
oh that's true
but what about this thing that you
transgress again and again and again and
again and again almost as if as far as
you're concerned it's permitted
well for that thing you're going to call
me a muma
yeah
you're a mumma
it's
a fourth reason why you should pay as
much attention to the small things as
the big thing is because
when you actually succeed
in guarding the small thing it gives you
the strength and the the confidence to
take to to guard the bigger thing as
well
but if you let the small things go
you're a lot you're just that much
closer letting the big things go as well
if you guard the small things then
you're that much closer to guarding the
big things
right
for them what they
brings about another mitzvah
applying any misfire can bring about
another mitzvah even if that one mitzvah
is small
and even if the mitzvah brings about is
big
but a mitzvah can bring about a mitzvah
so even a small mitzvah can bring about
a big mitzvah
the conifers is also true in the
vergoros of era rivera brings money
rivera it doesn't specify which one
implying even a small avera
it's just a teeny one
can bring about another era
a huge one
if you do a little mitzvah so that gives
you the strength and the and the
and the well the strength the incentive
the strength and the um the uh
what's what i'm looking for
the uh
confidence
that you can do another mitzvah
and therefore you do another one
but if a person does
a transgression
right so this small transgression can
cause them to do other transgressions
why because every transgression that he
does he gets used to transgressing
and his custom of transgressing can lead
him to even larger transgressions as
well so that person doesn't lie
he just doesn't tell the truth
he didn't lie
he just didn't tell the truth he didn't
reveal the truth
but now that because he hasn't revealed
the truth
the implications being something other
than what is true
yeah
if it goes one step further
in order to cover for the fact that he
didn't reveal the truth
he's likely to
distort the truth he hasn't told a lie
he's just distorted the truth
but now that he's distorted the truth
yeah there's a difference right in one
case he hasn't told the truth he hasn't
told the truth and he knows that the
implication is that somebody's going to
understand
the scenario as being x y or z
now he didn't outright tell a lie like i
said he just withheld the truth
but now in the same scenario
based on this person's perception of the
scenario being x y and z
something's going to happen he's going
to tell somebody he's going to do
something and now it's going to come
back to this person
right and what's he likely to do what's
he going to say
i did i actu i didn't actually tell the
whole truth
yeah
he's likely now to
try and get his way out of it
by distorting the truth he's going to
say something now
yeah which is not it's not a lie it's
just a distortion of the truth
ah so temporarily he gets the blame off
of him
because he's through this distortion
he's able to explain
the seeming contradiction between behind
what he didn't reveal and what other
people understood in the reality
so now he's going to distort
oh okay fine ah
oh so it wasn't actually like x y and z
you mean it was like x a y a and z a
yeah
okay ah fine so now they act on xa
yay an x y and z a yeah
and now it gets
so now something happens which shows
that
even x y and z a doesn't work
so they come back to him right what's he
going to do
he's going to lie
don't lie
so you go from small to small to bigger
and bigger
i mean of course you don't have to the
person can always say you know from the
outside you could always say
you know i i you know it's true i
i didn't actually lie but it but it's
true i i didn't actually tell the whole
truth
and um
you know before this gets out of hand i
should i should be honest and say that
you know in truth
what really happened was this he could
and even if he didn't do that he ends up
distorting the truth but then it comes
out to where he's going to have to
really outright lie to cover up at that
point he could also back out and say
you know i i i've been misleading
i've been misleading initially i didn't
tell the truth that i distorted the
truth i've been misleading i don't want
to lie
and therefore you know i have to clarify
that
but it takes a lot of courage to do that
you know
once a person's out on a limb
it doesn't want to discredit himself
so he's likely to go into the into the
lie mode
okay so that brings us up to number 14.
you must
confess
own up to what you've done wrong
was that we've how would you summarize
well it's quite a bit longer yes but
he's just saying that a person has to
weigh up the relative significance
between the transgressions and the
uh relevant relative transgress the
weight the weight of the severity
consider insignificant transitions to be
like significant ones
in order to avoid the scenario of
virgo
videos
his transgressions and even those of his
forefathers
why should he recall those of his
fathers
because he can be punished
for the component of his father's
misdeeds
in his own hands
and that's what it says
they shall confess their transgressions
and those of their fathers based on the
government brothers which says
that uh how do we reconcile the two
different verses where one says pakud
a voice al-banim god will deliver the
transgressions
of the fathers on the sons yet another
verse says
children won't be punished on account of
their father's contradiction the more
reconciles the the steer between the two
verses by saying the one is where
abundance
the other one is where they're not
meaning children can be punished
for the misdeeds of their fathers when
the children continue the mysteries of
the fathers themselves it's like it's
like they're they're giving their
approval i'm doing the bad things my dad
did as a way of of of of affirming his
agreement with the bad things not only
that he does but his father did as well
so in order to do chuva a person has to
do truva on his part and also on the
part of what of his deeds of his fathers
he's got to repudiate his own deeds and
also dissociate himself with the
mysteries of his father
mizoram
be careful the time of confession
that he should fix in his heart to stop
those ways
our land they know because if you return
to them he doesn't discard them
he's like a person who goes into a
mikvah with a source of impurity in his
hands as he's immersed it's not going to
help
confession
is like immersing oneself in the mikvah
but if you continue holding these things
taking hold of them while you're in the
mikvah and come out with them while in
your hand when you've come out it hasn't
done anything same thing with the
transgressions
certainly the transgression is like the
impure object
and clearly the immersion in the mig for
one help when you're holding on to the
share it's the impure object so the same
thing goes with chuva it won't help if
you're still holding on to the desire to
do these things
and we mentioned the other day
even if he knows he's probably going to
do it again but right now at least he's
got in mind that he doesn't want to do
it again there the chuva will help
okay let's stop here
you