Rabbi Yirmiyahu Ullman - Orchot Tzaddikim: Happiness - Part 10

yeah one page I ensign so if you remember at this point of the book the author is introducing us to eight different expressions of manifestations of trust batok on trust in God which is based on one's belief in God so i'll be talking to shown the first expression manifestation of trust we read this at the end of the last class we had but since we're starting a new week we have new people for the vit and also for the advantage of us who have done it let's let's just try and do it again quickly you can hit read Hebrew right I yeah okay we translate we translate yeah Hobbit already shown the first expression of this trust Binion gufa Adam regarding the actual body of a person who she gosh Nick nap show the inserts Maracana padule-- he should be prepared to throw himself at the mercies upon the mercies of God via da shame though 87 haga el a bit of shoe store 40 so and a person has no ability to succeed entertain the things that he wants without the actual permission allowance of of God vaathil pichia called Bria zavala the meatus yarmulke schulenburg 00 a spark even though everything that happens in a person are dependent on God's decrees Nicole Nicole yes lawd on this gal gal now her via called so-called with the hot still not sure the second lawyer and the force never the person ever that's the person has to make every effort to secure his bodily needs and so forth and so on even a Tim requires teaching or seeking medications and remedies for sickness isn't like the hospital came shaped sugar pill and have trust in God that that God will heal him so what this is saying is that the one he had a person has to recognize and have trust in faith that everything that he does is dependent on Hashem is dependent on God but that doesn't preclude his need to make the reason whatever that's necessary to to acquire the things that he needs would it be food or clothing or shelter or health or where the case may be so we make effort to do what seems to us to be the right thing the thing the beneficial thing we have to realize that ultimately God decides whether we will succeed entertaining those desires or not however that doesn't mean that we should not make the effort because it's dependent on God anyway rather it's a combination are trying to ascertain and determine what would be in our best interest and that it should be harmonious with the will of God but not relying entirely on God who is up to anyway ultimately whether we succeed or not but rather to try our best to secure it okay so for example you cross the street obviously you make every effort to cross the street safely now whether person is able to ultimately cross the street safely or not is ultimately right dependent on God but that's not a reason to be irresponsible and cross in a way which is right which is which which is dangerous so it's actually there for both you make a reasonable effort to do what's considered to be correct in proper relying ultimately that what happens is dependent on God so a person might decide for example that he wants to marry a certain type of person or a certain person and he thinks that that's that's consistent with God's will this is the type of mate that God would want for me that want the gun wants for me therefore he makes every effort to go ahead and try and let's say marry that person it may or may not work depending on whether that God actually wants it to work or not you make every effort to do so if it doesn't work out then it's a sign that God does not want this to take place or at least not with it or not right now or under these under these circumstances so the same thing applies with all you know across the boards whether it be for livelihood or whether it be for any other types of things that a person wants the first thing is determined what I want setting determine is to what extent is that consistent with what I think God wants if what i want seems to be what God would want then I should try and make reasonable effort to attain it knowing in the end of the day that whether I do or not is ultimately dependent on him right however it's being tried out of him doesn't preclude me from making the effort than I need in order to achieve it yeah it comes like sometimes it's very difficult for us to sometimes like can you like maybe clarify that more in a sense that a lot of to make decisions on saying I'm gonna do this and going on this path and I wanted almost I personals probably our selves talking to us saying I know I know deep in my core this is the right thing but a sense that you mean like let's say you're married to someone what only like like how many years into a certain paths you can say oh it matches up I know that the woman I married is definitely the one that was always welcoming or innocence obviously look maybe like he has a in me eyes make it till I get my result oh happy years but let's say you know 10 years into the marriage I'm very happy make sure you have that thought like I'm very happy things are going well I just had some children but I mean I mean like that that balance really knowing what God wants pew because you're saying that oh when it matches up that I know what I'm doing is what God wants is what well you know a person has to try all right person has to try his or her best to ascertain that what he or she wants is really what a gem wants how do you do that no I mean we all we all had a tendency to be biased and that's why it's very difficult because we might actually want God to one what we want and therefore we translate that into God wanting it but but that is something which is perhaps what our sources would describe as being relevant to Ishmael ish miley is ishma el God will listen to what I want meaning God's will is what I want God's will it be as opposed to the Jewish people who say shema Easter L it's our job to night not to not to make God hear what I want but to hear that we should hear what God wants so we say Sh'ma Yisrael listen to what God said we have our biases it's true and that's why that a person should speak to for example if he thinks that he's being biased or as a concern that he might be biased and their form you know I'm not determining what God really wants your properly you speak to a friend you realize the pond or a parent or a sibling or somebody relies upon or rabbi somebody who is what knowledgeable so that's one way of making sure it's very important way of making sure that what you're doing is the name of a shame um once a person has made a decision which seems to be consistent with the will of a sham and he that decision was successful let's say he decides that this person that I'm interested in Mary seems to me the type of person that a Shen would want me to marry and i also want to marry this person because that marries that person so now as long as everything is going okay and even if it's not going great but it but it's going there's always going to be room for improvement and nothing's perfect the person can keep using the teachings of the tour to sustain that marriage and get the most out of it if God forbid it becomes a situation which is very difficult or intolerable it could very well be that even if it was the right person and that was the right time it may no longer be relevant for either of them in which case the tour has recourse to divorce for example but if a couples married and basically things are going you know at least okay and there's nothing really traumatic happening to either or their children so then it's it's probably the will of a Shem that they continue to be married and life is no picnic and part of a marriage is to fulfill what it says in the Torah as their conecto that very often the you know the the aid that a person gets from his spouse is the opposition the opposition that one gets from one spouse is also helpful they help mates opposite to one another but sometimes the opposition is helpful yeah but first in finds that his wife is constantly contradicting and it might be because he's worth being contradicted he's doing something wrong yeah so so it could very well be right through his wife God is sending him a message that you're you know you're steering of the wrong direction and your wife is trying to keep you on track and you know and uh and you're not hearing the message so a person can drown out the message in divorce and that's not the will of a chef it could very well be that a Shem wants the person to put his head down humble himself listen to the criticism listen to the ideas that his wife is espousing even if he doesn't and even if he's not intended to accept it fully according to her version but it can help in his service of a Shem making me better persons of wind so on so that's the will of a ship maybe not all the worst couples women you don't way essentially any movie news a chance but he uses own selfish reasons not to actually work on the relationship right so the Sony people do miss Amy just don't want to try but generation yeah so the solution is not to ditch is not is not the president Jack button right the solution is to make the marriage work that's the one if at some point it deemed yes that this is that it's the will of Shen that I marry this person and I want to marry this person and she feels the same so that's the have all the ingredients for success now the decision was made and Hashem enabled this couple to get married and now they've been married so now they run into troubles all couples have troubles that's part of being married that's the as a connector so the question is if it becomes you know did it'll balance how much suffering is considered to be an indication that really if there was some benefit for the being married that's not that's not now that's been expired and and it's time to to get divorced or to continue to try and make the the you know marriage work by correcting mending ourselves with a marriage it's very interesting story about the Baal Shem Tov who was a yessum he was a he was a an orphan and Jewish sources say that orphans have a very strong and natural affinity to one another and he who became very close to many of his uh his students who were orphans because in the very beginning of the first few years of Baal Shem Tov's teaching career before he became well known he was a thought children he was a hater ready Todd children young children so he was very close to a particular physical young boy and at some point a wealthy woman Jewish woman brought her her son to the hater to the school in order to be accepted into the classroom and she noticed that the Baal Shem Tov never used any corporal punishment if that's the right word I mean to say never physical punishment ever whipped or or slapped or anything and she said you know I've heard that you're not a disciplinarian enough with your children I expect you to be more of disciplinarian with your children I don't want you to beat my child would give me the other children and my child will learn from example so the Baal Shem Tov's response was that's absolutely vicious I don't beat children and whipped children the Jewish people are bit beaten and whipped enough by the non-jews that we didn't whip our own shoulder number one and number two children suffer enough with a lack of proper shelter and hunger and so forth and so on that they shouldn't be beaten in the week bodies if anyone should be beaten I don't think that anybody should be but it should be the children of the wealthy who are pampered in finicky and spoiled and their constitutions are strong enough to receive the lashings but i'm not but in any case i don't i don't hold of this this type of thing in any case so she was very offended and she took her son away from from the school she wouldn't bring him into the school but this young orphan overheard the conversation between the Rebbe that was the Baal Shem Tov in this woman and he was very impressed and he ended up telling this to a young woman a relative of his maybe a cousin of his and she was also very touched and pressed by the rabbi's response and the fact that he was able to you know enough courage to stand up to the new to this this brazen wealthy woman and she uh she started bringing her nephew to school each day and she ultimately met the Baal Shem Tov and brought him through the child gifts and food because he was again he was an orphan he lived alone and was very poor and he slept in the shoal and he taught the children for a very meager wage overtime the orphan mentioned to the Baal Shem Tov that that that this older cousin of his was getting married it's getting married to the son of a very illustrious rabbinical figure in town and the Baal Shem Tov was dismayed and according to the story he ended up going for walk in the woods with his child and some birds were tripping and the lost em Tove asked the child if he understood what the birds were saying and the child said no of course not why do you ready understand what the birds were saying he said yes I understand what the birds are saying you're saying that their portion will be dissolved and he was referring to the intended marriage of this orphans this orphans older cousin and in the son of the illustrious rabbinical figure in town so the the young boy told this to her to his cousin and she was very upset she broke out in tears but she didn't do anything about it she went ahead and continued with with the marriage so she actually got married and at that point the Baal Shem Tov left the town because he said that the whole reason why he had come to that town is because he foresaw that he that this in this town he would be married and once this what this woman her name was Hana once she got married he realized it was time to leave town so he left town he went somewhere else and he hid his tour greatness that he like I said he was it was a great Torah scholar but he hit it he didn't make it known at all he just taught children in a hater situation he went to another town and he was accepted there so forth and so on at a certain point he heard that this Hana was actually divorced from the merit from her marriage with this with it with this with the son of the great Torah scholar and shortly thereafter a very respectable looking man came into town and he he called for the Baal Shem Tov you called for him and he said that he has a tort judgment at or judgment at din torah that that he wants to he has a tort judgment that he wants to wants to clarify but he can't do it in his hometown because his son is a great rabbi in the town he's afraid that the judges well we'll tip that such took the judgment in his favor because of his son so he wants to come to the Baal Shem Tov and asking me her that he was knowledge winter and see whether he would educate the so we ended up educating it in the town that he was in and everybody was very impressed with the way he did so in the great Talmudic scholarship that he demonstrated and it turns out that this person was actually the father of hana and when he saw what a great scholar the Baal Shem Tov was he suggested that the Baal Shem Tov married this Hana who at that point had become a divorcee so you see that which he did which he ended up doing but beforehand the interesting story the Baal Shem Tov said to him this is agreement between the two of us and nobody knows about it but I want you to put it down in writing before you leave the town so they wrote down a document about the marriage and so forth and so on they basically made it's annoying like this the father actually died on his way back to his hometown so there was actually no proof of his agreement to the marriage between the bounce gentleman's wife Hana other than this and when the Baal Shem Tov came to present himself nobody would believe him because he was a poor orphan with nobody and nothing and that her father should agree that he should marry his daughter and her father was a very illustrious Torah scholar the father of other great rabbis and something sunday they couldn't believe it so it turned out that after that the rabbi of the town fell deathly ill that was this rabbi's son who was the Rabi of the town fell deathly ill and the Baal Shem Tov mentioned that he should have his name changed should have his name changed and he suggested adding the name of Ron to this rabbi's name and everybody was up in arms about this because the father had just passed away week earlier was also named Aggron that the Sun should be named after the father was a very strange thing the vostro assisted no he should be named Ron because it says I've rambabu yawning and every everyone had a long life and so he should this person should have the name Abraham chain added to his name so they consulted back and forth and it happened to have been that the review has kalanda who was the no to be Hooda very great respected rabbi was in this town and they consulted with him and he said yes you can give the name even though was the name of the father because the father has already passed away they gave the the sick rabbi who was actually the brother of this Hana the name of ramen with a short period of time he miraculously became well and when it became known that it was the Baal Shem Tov who had recommended the name change and because of this he came well so all the family gave their blessing to the marriage between the pond shem tov and this hana who had been now orphaned from her own father but had her brother's life saved through through the Baal Shem Tov so I just thought it's a long story but you see all of the securest details that all go behind like she do came in marriage making and all the different things you have no way of knowing and when the Baal Shem Tov originally had thought about hanas prospective mate she was you know at the pinnacle of her life where she was the daughter of a very wealthy and well respected Torah scholar and he was you know for all intents and purposes he was like a nobody he was a poor and unknown orphan and nobody would have consented to such a man a match it required her becoming married to somebody else and therefore ultimately a divorcee and becoming an orphan herself so that the care we should agree that somebody as it were in her position it would be considered acceptable to her to marry somebody in the Baal Shem Tov's right position so all types of things happen and then it was necessary for this initial marriage to take place knowing from the outset that it would be terminated in order for the ultimate soulmate to be made doesn't mean to say the first match was wrong it was also right it was it a step in a process so sometimes uh just because a marriage ends in divorce does it mean that the marriage was wrong the marriage was right for a specific purpose for a specific time once what is achieved has been achieved then it could be that the divorce is the right thing to do right and again you know that would only be one if a person does so responsibly making every effort to try and make it work consulting and getting rabbinic advice and so forth and so on but the tour allows for divorce because that's also part of the plant president has to try his best to make the right decisions but ultimately what happens is up to God and God sees the greater picture and therefore we have to try to make are going to do our best to make the right decisions realizing that ultimately what we consider to be right might not be right for the right reasons it might be wrong we have no really way of knowing yeah interesting is restricted the content oh yeah ah too long too hard to follow what I said problem i shorted worries about it a long story but the point is I mean that that's the point that's the point you know there's so many things happened behind the scenes and you can't really be aware of yeah according to the story the Baal Shem Tov was generally aware of what was going on but he didn't want to tamper of course with the free will let things happen as a shed as the Shem decided everything should be right at the right time but in any case this is the first the first thing that a person's have in mind here but Roy fear before blame load me as the Shamy sparkler veil and the doctor and the remedy they ultimately come from God for the linear Kenyan saying LOL oki movado eat an LOI hyukoh let's oil and therefore he should only issue rely only on God ultimately to give him the energy in the strength to do what's necessary yeah so that a person is allowed to seek the doctor and to seek the remedy and to but a person should realize that the doctor and the remedy are only emissaries for God's will and that a person's prayer and his trust should be directed towards God and not on the doctor and not on medicine vol are Adam a person should not say Hoyle than a kosher a big zero sabores Bach since anyway I am influenced by the decree of God LX badonk a second ave stay silent movies i'll go into dangerous things and ingest dangerous things hello mutsy nova Schmo did we read this we read the section as well didn't we Momo a cadet Michelle show the heart Gainey so anyway I'm going to paraphrase this and this paragraph three actually we did that as well that know a person cannot that a person cannot say since anything is everything is decreed by God then I can be reckless and God will provide God will protect that's wrong that's irresponsible a person can't do that in the merit yeah on because because of the accountability of making those reckless decisions the person might actually forfeit the the the protection of god clearly God protects a person but if a person is irresponsible so there's accountability and that very responsibility itself could be the reason why he causes the withdrawal of that divine protection and therefore you're not allowed to do that you don't cross i-95 with your eyes closed you shouldn't cross it at all by foot but yeah beat up on a shany the second form is in the last Kirk of the page being in a part no sir regarding livelihood EAP token shallow Allah chamber who is dependent should be on god she has been the talk of his own accord SE buco that God will send to him that which he needs below yutaka shah and he should not press the time lyric of oaxaca minyanim how much regional soy mr. secretary which are going to distract him from learning Torah make reasonable effort to make a reasonable madam of money and don't go running around looking frantically for money in all different directions right which is going to distract you from doing from learning Torah as well make a normal reasonable effort to earn your livelihood and make sure that you also spend how part of your time dedicated to the service of God nikasha you've talked with a keen when a person truly trust in God he instantly knew closely bovis abhinav show he'll find a peace and tranquility in his soul villaggio co sir me die and he won't come to therefore run after money too much aki a dino Benicio called him so Bassam you've had it'll be enough that when he finds an occasion the shows on the shallows new trucks behem leak nose high oil and bought the rest of his free hours should be spent towards acquiring the knowledge of God in the knowledge of Torah so person can make himself meshugana bout earning money and he ends up spending all of his days running after money and even if he ends up earning a lot of money as we mentioned that might not be what he Nets that's all gross income but if that's more his grossest more than was intended from him so God will find ways right to to implement nets which filter out that gross resulting in the net income that he's supposed to have so it turns out that he made sense was shooken about earning a lot of money and he might even be deluded into thinking that all that effort was actually successful because he earned all that money but has to remember that what he grows is that what you learned we do all types of things expenses that the continent are incurred which would ultimately end up resulting in his not netting very much at all yet another person who doesn't make him selfish rigging about these things he runs a reasonable out of money and there's about the rest of time he spends learning Torah darvany improving himself being a good person so forth and so on so such a person gets what he deserves yeah that's Annette and then and it's orchestrated front in in in us in a metaphysical type of a way that he'll be freed from all these other types of expenses that the first guy incurred then what 11 seconds to louer so at the end of the day this guy this guy worked himself meshugener to gain ultimately same amount of money that this person sent a reason about an effort but the meantime this person also earned a lot more Torah study what was that so what are people who only focus on money don't do any Torah study and so first of all your time at Jewish people right and they're not observe it so well that's not um you know that's not the ideal thing it I'm saying that could happen it doesn't it doesn't necessarily happen now if in a case where a person does let's say earn a lot and they net a lot and they're not spending any time learning Torah and not using their money in any type of you know acceptable Torah Phil and popular type of way they so they're amassing a lot of wealth in this world but they're missing out on the whole entire spiritual component of life which which which can affect the quality of their life in this and the next and there are plenty of people who are netting a lot but but they don't enjoy life at all so the lacking all of that spiritual benefit in this and the next now if a person is tour observant and they have to make decision whether they should work more earn more and network in order to be able to support tour more or work less and earn less in order to learn themselves more that becomes a difficult decision in most cases a person is required to take after they take care of their own learning before that of others so he should it would generally be encouraged to work less unless net less even give less in order that he should be able to practically learn more for himself which would benefit himself benefit his wife and his children a more stable Torah family unit is going to benefit the entire Jewish people but ultimately right he's making up for himself and his family and for the Jewish people what he would be lets say not giving make up for what he would be giving the fact by working okay very good is that like a real staying or you is that a modification of some other statement yeah yeah okay very good I like that yeah very good so right is try and be smart enough but of course it's not only depending on smarts it depends on on you know it depends on on divine will as well plenty of smart people don't in very much and putting people i'm particularly bright or a lot it depends on on God's decision right depends on who spends on God there plenty of stupid untalented people who like rolling in money just you know and they're funny very intelligent you know we're talented people who aren't particularly wealthy you trying to explain that it has a lot to do with the fact it would you know what God you know he got ultimately is a source of wealth and decides who should be earning what and when but certainly on what he's saying here is that a person has to factor in the ingredient of Torah study into the time that he puts into into life and a life which is purely in the pursuit of money and not in spirit pursuits is a very poor life very poor life the target yeshiva the time at basic and therefore a person has to try to increase the amount of time sitting spending learning and minimize time spent working all say dear a torah occur visca that otha and furthermore person put should make his Torah learning this is main focus and his his work the minimal focus now that doesn't necessarily mean quantitatively because it could be that the the reality is such that quantitatively he has to spend devote more time to working than to learning but even a person who has to spend more time to working into learning can still make the time that he learns the main part of his day so that qualitatively that's the main thing in life ok see a bent or is not necessarily somebody who's learning all day can a person who let's say is learning all day or is ostensibly learning all day he's an achieve all day but he ultimately learns very little and values very little but he's learning another person who with a works all day he spends an hour a day at great self-sacrifice exhausted yes to rush and it's hard for him to focus his mind is not involved in Torah story all day nobody presses himself but he really values that our that's like the hour that he looks to look forward to when he wakes up in the morning that he looks forward to all of his day that person he really works all day he's a been Torah the ventura who warns all the day it doesn't work is not a been Torah I don't mean I'm trying to dis been torn this quote-unquote been Torah learning all day he's got a bent or the personal war so they really is the bent or because it has nothing really to do with how many hours you spend but qualitatively what your approach tutorials the Indians in who God will ship in a soil all done this is a very great challenge for people shallow yet ruidoso roat osha Loyola mazhai the ish kokkari also that then all of the demands of this world will cause him to to forget that which is ultimately important turning over the page iron cast therefore he says the pan you've stocked bikel you should have trust in God she asked PK would so ha the sea buco that he'll take care of his needs the halo shows peniel mostly bokeem and have his have free up time in order for his heart to be purely dedicated to a sham it's very difficult challenge very very difficult challenge very difficult challenge you get older you have a wife we have children your needs increased and it becomes very difficult to decide how much time you should never you should spend and working in order to support not yourself it's for your wife and your children I supposed to you very difficult how much should you be thinking about and concerned about and self and so on I'm personally going through that in my stage in life right now and very very difficult you know find myself constantly being distracted in order to do this or that and the other in order to make up for Parrinello here and there and the other you start marrying off children the expenses become so great no how can you do such a thing unfortunately in the meantime I feel like I'm not really succeeding give me a blessing then I should be able to see things properly and learn properly and have enough faith properly enough for NASA I have to be troubled with these issues but it's a great great great challenge therefore our person has to put reasonable effort and make sure that he's not neglecting his spiritual requirements is in duties and have trust in a shed that he'll receive what he needs at the right time from the right source yeah even even if it's totally unexpected but it'll happen it'll happen copy talk on Ashley she the third manifestation of trust is as follows the in each 20 ba novikova vulva regarding his wife and his children his loved ones emo Putin has a no hurry vogue are below e shaw who crawled in the kaveri Nicola looky-loo convoys lecithin huh if this person that we're talking about now in terms of trusting of God is an AH curry I don't think he means to say a non-jew which is what nothing usually means I think what he means to say is a stranger he's like alone and lonely garble OE show he has no wife the croven has no close family he has no friends is alone Nick a clerk in the car of the car there he should take God has his relative as his friend doc Severson says zod visitor II this is my beloved one and this is my friend in Song of Songs referring to God the actual called me sheesh locro FEMA should think anybody who has relatives leah has man what y'all shoulda Kevin Orie the other day is going to be buried alone oh my god you shed and there will be by himself vulo yo yellow low carb overload been with a javier and there in the grave the friend the family the Sun won't help him release kuvira MOA cottman and none of them will be able to unite with him until they themselves reach the great so i guess what he's saying is he's trying to what's the word comfort a person who's alone and lonely that your truck should be in a shell and even if he doesn't have these close relatives in the end of the day a person is born alone right and he dies alone he's born stripped of everything and he'll die stripped of everything so what happens in the soldier in the meantime and the larger scales of thing is not really the issue the actual akaka killed also me clothing I'm with Halima love and you can also consider the fact that of course is true everybody wants to be surrounded by family and loved ones but there's also a lot of responsibility involved and this person on the other hand is freed from all of those distractions responsibilities the auction of Zeta tova and in that respect there's a positive aspect of this she my yellow ASAP nyanya item Isaiah he ate are called mehbooba if he like many other people had large families with those large responsibilities and the many distractions that go according to this then he'll be distracted of course from from from anything's velu yellow manuka he won't have tranquility be muy sexy on a ahora soy ruben yani emits voice vehicle people came but it is now involved in things which have to do with his long-term future mitzvahs and and unifying his got his heart towards God he a new but you're a part of me you can't be shown the van but oak grove of so is his heart will actually more more at ease when he is not around people in suffolk there's no doubt about that Vulcan High you a memory you called him and therefore hashim amiga Hadean i'll kill bill evolved on those let's say types of people who are more aesthetic and they dedicate their hearts to God porque me but a ham wachovia Maori they actually leave their family and their homes to go to the hills the mountainside I don't think he's encouraging a person to do that it's just saying if a person is alone he should see the good side of that which is that he has less responsibilities which our list which has means less distractions and therefore will be able to serve a Shem warhol heart at least he has the opportunity to choose to serve a sham more wholeheartedly as certain people do when they choose to serve a sham more wholeheartedly that become aesthetic I don't think he's encouraging the people be aesthetic but he's just saying that this is this is the this would be one way of comforting such a person today she have fun and evolved on that little came to turn their hearts towards God they my abode ambali show loubani mukoki involve him but if we're talking about a person who does have a wife he does have her children he does have relatives gift envelope came sheet and they'll quietly shot in the head mushy mushy high of the hand with ah so soft and he also has an opportunity to develop in bolster his trust in God in a way they were discussing earlier that God will help him provide for the needs of his family the people who has a responsibility to support for was just saying whatever situation a person finds himself in life there's an opportunity to develop a trust in God whether it's alone is freed from the responsibilities of others so he can dedicate his heart full heartedly to God and if you're surrounded by the responsibility as a family he has an opportunity to strengthen his trust in God in terms of his day to to fulfill their needs the in stocks GTA libo shala me man yo yo yo some drunken being yani iturra by Boris amore and he should also have faith she a libo Shaolin I'm ahem that is his heart should be full heartedly let's say directed towards teaching them Torah and the in being giving them an example of serving a sham Villota snowshoe Mitsubishi of Aloha myth motzei mayhem and not because he thinks he's going to get some benefit out of this I don't raise my children properly so that they have a proper measure of respect so that my old age they take care of me no that's not the point you raise your children properly so that they as adults will serve fish em properly it happens to be that serving a sham properly involves fulfilling all the missiles including honoring their parents but but that's not why you raise them properly that you should get their honor but that they should be god-fearing juice Volusia how do I ahumada the hem Derek Ayasha but not that they should honor him just because he's showing them the straight path who lowly he start early am and not too kind of I don't know express superiority over them le hace que de la calle mitzvos a boy boy Boulevard his all intention should be to serve God I'm raising my children properly because that's what Hashem wants me to do the actual xuxa Lukesh Alma coin and he should think that he is like an emissary of God the LA Medlock revival of off to teach his relatives and his loved ones for Louie oxic tova that's Norville oh you volleyball am and not to like except to expect gratitude and recognition for what he's doing right that's not the point he's doing it solely because that's his mitzvah the midst RF micro valve via molu Hester oh no and as he comes to need his relatives in some way and they're able to fulfill that need yeah he's lacking something and let's say his two children fulfill that need in some way yo sha Shan shook in shamokin mogu lil o sister o no he should view them as God's emissaries to fulfill his needs and not to say because I raise them properly they are now fulfilling my need no they're fulfilling my knee because that's what a sham once right below you've stalked by him clout and he should not place his soul trust in them alone he really said you should not place his trust in them at all what it means is right don't think they're doing this because they love me because we're relatives no like you said earlier they're doing this because a sham chose them to be an emissary for for his will you shouldn't belittle like I said as a result of this they're good deed thank you very much that's very sweet very kind very thoughtful of you you know Thank You chef take a for you know for forgiving this this thing that you're bringing to me via vikesh mandava the yeshiva pontiff Raycom and he asks of his relatives if loves won something and they don't fulfill his wish Augustin malayan hitoshi should not be angry at them huh what kind of gratitude is this what kind of business of that this is family these are friends this is the part of behavior I derbyshire I deserve no rather I should say alcohol sure we should think he harbors looking the macomb the Malloys Hester oh no there are many ways in which God can fulfill his will so he shouldn't depend on his relative to give him because of that that relationship and even if they do give he has to say it's not because of the relationship that would be attributing natural causes to what he's receiving no it's because it's from a Shem and the flip side of that is when they don't give you shouldn't hold it against them because everything comes from a sham and it's not from him just as money if you gave to me I would have to recognize its not from him so when he's not giving day it's also that's also not from him everything is from a Shem whether I get or I don't and what he wants I'll get for the right person at the right time in the right circumstances and therefore there's no real reason to hold a grudge against this person yeah I can say so is we always see things as cause and effect and we want to see the cause and effect direct channel buttons almost it's almost like worry for us and go ball low and everyone we don't want to come in at opposite end it's just like how we live our lives and to think it's always like that even from us you always expect something in return its variants like the most selfish thing but I think you know it's a sham but it's almost like I think even in the secular world is really just really about you guys I'm going to Center it's really almost like consciousness like how you I used about your life sentence it will never really blame on anybody else yeah it's sure I did it so if you know it's if I understand you correctly it sounds like what you're saying is that what he's saying here is it's very radical I mean it's radically different than the way that we normally think the way that were raised to think the way that we have a natural inclination to think on the other hand he did say that when a person does make this kind of mental shift expecting from himself to give as much as possible and not expecting from anybody else to receive anything he's going to be freed and liberated from a lot of the petty competitions and animosities and hard feelings and so forth and so on that plague our lives and plagued our relationships which would make a person ultimately more fulfilled more serenely at peace with himself in his environment and that's why this idea is being discussed here in this chapter which is about joy because from a tour perspective we're not talking about effervescent laughing smiling overflowing laughter we're talking about serene current contentment and therefore to extent to which a person can incorporate these ideas and actually execute them in his in his daily life his interactions with people in his environment the more serene and at peace will be and that's ultimately going to be more healthy for him spiritually emotionally and physically and that's what he's encouraging us to do here that being said if a person is malicious mean and wicked even if they might be in some way an emissary of a Shem they still have to be held accountable for what they've done wrong and necessary precautions have to be taken or to prevent them from harming people so again he's not advocating you should live on a miraculous like a plane of miracles just like he wouldn't cross the street irresponsibly you're responsible you know to be responsible as possible regarding managing your environment so that things will be you know will be correct and will not be harmful would be good and not bad and so forth and so on so there's a balance there balance the one hand of recognizing that everything comes with Michelle things that you receive you should give your thanks to a Shem and not to the emissary if to the emissary at all it's only because they've chosen to do the will of a sham and the same thing happens for messengers of evil bad and harm and sofa and so on ultimately we have to realize it comes from a champ that doesn't mean that we can't protect ourselves against them or hold it accountable for making the decision to do wrong things even if simultaneously they were chosen by God to do that wrong thing alright let's so let's end here you