Rabbi Yirmiyahu Ullman - Orchot Tzaddikim: Happiness - Part 1

we're starting the section on joy char has sympa very important attribute joy it is it's the basis for most of what most people do everybody is looking for satisfaction everybody's looking for joy everybody's looking for pleasure the question is right what type of pleasure what type of joy what type of satisfaction are you looking for clearly the Torah recognizes the value of joy as being a motivating factor for the things that we do regarding prayer regarding study regarding mitzvahs that we do because God was happy in creating us and God wants us to be happy thank you with creation and God also wants us to be happy with the things that we do which play our part in maintaining the creation so therefore joy joy is a foundation for all the things that we do in life in general and certainly that's the case regarding Torah joy happiness is not necessary measured by smiling right ear to ear a lot of times people plaster smiles across their face and that is no indication whatsoever they're being really happy in fact very often people who smile all the time are usually masking some type of pain or disquietude inside what we're talking about with happiness and joy is talking about a serene internal kind of pleasant and harmonious feeling of joy and satisfaction that's what we're talking about of course there's a room for Judaism for joy and laughing and smiling and in weddings you see people have you know great you know antics of laughing enjoying and somersaults and everything like that there's also there's certainly appointed that but you can't be on that type of a high all the time the main thing is to avoid the lows and unfortunately modern society modern man goes so much of the the ups and the downs the ups and the downs erratic extremes from one to the other living bipolar lifestyles people aren't happy dissatisfied with the competition and with the cutthroat type of social attitudes that people have on the other hand in order to get something out of life people start injecting themselves with all types of experiences to help bolster their joy and their happiness so they go up and I don't mean necessarily injecting I mean yeah if you know looking for things to satisfy them usually those are fleeting short things so a person is like in ecstasy for a short period of time life is ecstatic and then boom they hit that low again at that low again at that log in so now they got to get out of the low so they have to do something to initiate that ecstatic state again whether it be whatever it may be right the tour is about providing a person with a lifestyle that's going to give him a constant healthy and happy high but not too high unless it's necessary for the particular circumstance but to avoid the lows of course everybody has subject to lowes so Tori had different teachings on navigating the lows and minimizing the types of depressing types of things and thoughts and feelings that a person can have but but but the best remedy is to live a lifestyle that is not conducive to that type of saw in the first place that's one of the things that the tour is doing is giving us a pathway towards achieving happiness that's got the background for this chapter in orchid city came unhappiness okay so we're on char Hachi that's the ninth chapter char has sympa the gate the gate way to happiness the gate of happiness ha simple Amira Zoe's bola Adam mcmath's Rove shalva bleep Oh bleep Agora this happiness the type of happiness that we're talking about comes to a person through having serenity of heart how many people can really say they are serene of heart very few people everybody's always got a complaint about not having enough money or not having enough material comforts or not having enough friends we're not getting enough satisfaction out of his or her relationships so such a person can't be said to be happy true happiness is somebody who has a serene happiness in his heart straight happiness on a zoo or sheer us al-ko turkey ova says who is wealthy somebody who is happy with his portion somebody's happy with his portion he's truly wealthy why you're not the most wealthy person in the world but he's constantly jealous of his money always suspicious looking over shoulder who's trying to get him and get at him for what and for how much he's constantly worrying about how not only to increase as well but just to preserve it in addition to that he can't rely on most of the people that he knows for any genuine companionship because most people that attach themselves to him or attaching themselves him for his money so is constantly concerned about forces and people from without suspicious of forces and people from within and what kind of a happiness is that what kind of happiness they tell a story about the very wealthy man who bolstered boasted yeah but he was so wealthy he might die of a lot of things but he'd never die of hunger never die of hunger and then one day he was walking around in his vaulted chambers full of the wealth that he had stored there and lo and behold somehow the vault door closed on him there's no way he could open it from inside and outside nobody knew he was there day after day until he starved to death all that wealth all that money all those jewels all those coins everything that was stored in there couldn't do a single thing to keep him alive you know so no matter how much wealth the person has there's no ingredient that that's going to give a person life let alone a good life and therefore who is truly happy as somebody who satisfied with his portion somebody was happy with what he's got they tell the story about a certain person he came to the Baal Shem Tov and he asks the Baal Shem Tov I don't understand he says I don't understand how a person can have a difficult time in life and still be happy and be satisfied a person should be poor a person should be deprived of the basic needs for life and still be happy how is that possible so the Baal Shem Tov said to him to tell you the truth I really don't have a good answer for you I suggest you go speak to i believe it was really medic well i think it was reveal effort maybe the medical Ajinca i think it was in any case he goes to this at a rabbi and he comes to the house and he sees a broken-down house its dilapidated the wall the doors are falling off the hinges the window panes are all broken it was a wintry day and it started raining he knocks on the door the nor near the door nearly fell off the hinges he's brought inside the rain is raining in the roof and he sees the person sitting at a table with a few morsels of food and he says I was sent here by the Baal Shem Tov to ask you a question so he said go ahead ask yes I don't understand how is it a person could be semantic elko how is it the person can be happy with his portion even if he's got no portion so there's another rabbi looks around and he looks back at this person he says for the life of me I can't understand why the Baal Shem Tov sent you to me I I have everything I need so you see he was so happy with his portion he wasn't even aware of the poverty wasn't aware of suffering from that situation and that was the answer to this person's question if you're happy with what you've got you're happy if you're not happy it doesn't matter how much you got you're not going to be happy and therefore this is a very key ingredient a person should be relaxed and calm and serene and understand that everything that he has comes from God it's true if he wants more he can do something to acquire it he can make some effort to acquire it but you can't make yourself Michigan over it either normal regular starters regular type of effort and put your prayers in a Shem but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be happy with what you've got right now even if I would like to change my situation and I try to effect that change ultimately isn't a guy in a guide in God's hands whether that change will be realized or not but until it's changed or even if it isn't what I have to do is be happy and satisfied with my lot I we say the specifically regarding material things by the way to finish high the Great's party commentator of several generations ago said a beautiful analogy said in life a person few himself on a ladder ladder life was like a ladder he says regarding things of a material nature you should always be looking down whatever I have there's always people going to have much less than I am so I have to be certainly happy with what i have right miss topic for helko right bud regarding spiritual matters there a person has to look up never be satisfied with you've gots spiritual matters don't be happy with what you've got you should always want more and therefore look upward and see what people above you have and aspire to attain that that that doesn't mean that you should be happy with the tour that you have but wish em we're happy with the tour that we have every person is happy with the tour that he or she has learned that we certainly but we should still there at least aspire for more never feel like I miss topic lamu on teaching that says a person should be good should be satisfied to do it little that's rewarding material things regarding mid turret things you should be happy to get by with a little spiritual things the sky is the limit so he says you're there for then happiness and the tour perspective is not this overflowing effervescent bubbling type of you know laughing all the time joy happiness that's not the point in so there's a room for laugh and a joke and tour that's certainly true but happiness true happiness is that serene fulfilling of fulfillment inside valdam amazing tavo so Volare a load over hammad seva so bizarre hey Samir toddler a person who has his desires fulfilled and nothing unfortunate or sad happens to him this will certainly make him happy all the time will you open off this will cause his face to be illuminated happy the Ziva mavic and his kind of countenance is is a luminescent the Gulf of Bari his body is going to be healthy the Ames ignominious love or love and old age will not quickly happen to such a person the person who's in a state of joy either because the needs are fulfilled or as far as he's concerned everything he needs is really fulfilled yeah so such a person will be not only have peace of mind but he'll also have a pleasant and illuminate countenance he's going to have a healthy attitude in life which is also going to make his body healthy as well a person was upset and depressed is heavy a person's heavy so his physiological systems are also heavy and his digestion is a heavy and doesn't judge justice food properly and all the energy that we should otherwise go into alacrity and speed and light and and swiftness and flexibility all of that becomes sedate and fixed so the person becomes heavy and over time that kind of mental emotional weight takes its toll on a person it really makes a person not only mentally and emotionally but even physically unhealthy but a person who is generally happy and healthy has this type of serene sense of the filament he's going to be able to go through life with much more energy and is also going to be have much more longevity yeah so it's not coincidental that you see my great Torah scholars who've committed their entire lives to learning Torah live to the ripe old age of 100 and so years old why because not only do they physically live a happy life style but they're content with Torah the energy is coming more from spiritual than physical which has much more longevity than physical things anyway and propels the person through life of course our rabbis who had shorter lives we find the opposite dogs also sometimes very great rabbis died around the age of 40 38 39 40 the unresolved for example rivi nachman of breslov there's any say Romo ha yes rampal emotional tato yeah so that that's a separate phenomenon you know that has to do with the fact that when a person fulfills his tikkun in life the reason why he was created purpose for having been created he fulfills that purpose he realizes that potential so there's no point in being in this world any longer on the contrary for the soul to be here long necessary that's causes unnecessary suffering for the soul once a person's done what he needs to do in order to perfect whatever needs to be perfected for his soul that soul is ready to be liberated and elevated into the next round and keeping the body the soul in this world would be a form of imprisoning that soul in this realm more than is necessary so it's intervene we do find that very often great siddiqui very righteous people expired at this relatively young age by the way rabbi aryeh kaplan in modern times also this is an example of somebody who attained a great degree of torah knowledge through all of different areas of torah well more mishnah more'n Midrash Enzo are in Kabbalah and Hasid asst and everything hollow ha he also expired it at that age but in any case generally speaking a person who lives this lifestyle of peace and quiet and in certain serenity is going to have a longer more healthy life as well veins ignominious level of commotion and why's it says live sameach natives gay huh let's amend a happy heart will benefit and elevate a person and that's really true a person who's kind of like elevated person who's happy feels himself much more like I said leiter a person who's depressed and upset you find it kind of it weighs them down but a person who is happy is that profess int is lively is energetic and that's clearly going to be much more healthy state for person I mean the simpler yo votes call Claude um and through joy there will also come laughter to a person they knowingly ish maskil the highboy spits hook on the other hand it's not but it's not advisable for an enlightened intelligent person to be laughing all the time you have people who constantly to a joke a good joke is nice from time to time but a person just a joke after joke after joke and it's all just a joke and a laugh another opportunity to crack a joke and get another laugh right even if it's even if it's in the context of Torah arguably that's really not what it's all about a person the Gomorrah says it's supposed to open up a tour lecture with some joke in order to warm up people's hearts and get them kind of in tune with what's being taught but some point you've got to get around to learning sometimes you know even sometimes even even even rabbinic personalities will have a tour lecture be more like a stand-up comedian than an actual tour like and then obviously they're doing that for a reason it probably appropriate for that particular scenario that particular audience or whatever but in general person has to be happy and happiness brings laughter but you can't take laughter too far either keema's cloak mr. tothis da Scola because with laughter with frivolity you have mixed in like lightness of heart commotion in Mars it says kohlhaas cerium tonka socia can slow cook seal like the laughter of i guess like coals underneath like the laughter of coals underneath a pot so is the laughter of the foolish person all of his laughter and all their jokes is all about Fanning the fuels of frivolity and that's clearly not that's not the purpose here look for NMR and furthermore it said Moyes is a short day should psychic bencomb Shayna Rowley bow let's hook one of the indications of an idiot of a fool as a person who laughs when there's it's not appropriate to laugh sometimes you have that like somebody will say something all of a sudden they did I was like that was really stupid that was very inappropriate the person thought he was telling a good joke right it's a sign person tells a joke when it's inappropriate I'm thinking he's going to get gender laughter and even if he doesn't jendra laughter but at that time is it appropriate so that's a sign of foolishness so clearly the joy and the happiness that we're talking about has to be tempered it's not talking about any type of joy an expression of happiness at all times rather this type of pure pristine spiritual type of glow that's the type of joy that we're talking about van rooy the Michigan o Musa at least knock boots Hawk the most show voice Obama modos with Nehru and it's not befitting for somebody who acts according to decorum to proper ethics to be sitting around wasting his time with people are telling jokes all the time and laughing Misha Roth's apoco someone who's laughing too much miss might know he actually causes the reduces the fear of heaven fun him he kind of diminishes his fear of heaven so you can have a person whose God fury but he spends too much time telling jokes so look slowly but surely he's going to make him say he's lively likely to become a scoffer like nokomis golfer Kiba shas its hook and your call doc sho shoe me on a sham inshallah when his laughing again we're talking about just telling like stupid you know nonsensical jokes even if they're funny but a person who who's like laughing all visit hey he's not thinking about your trim I'm think about get yourself laughing and you can't stop laughing laughing pedo you can't stop your stomach starts hurting right your muscles are cramped because you're lying you can step that that's obviously not healthy laughter right it's on it's on the controllable you basically flashed control basically they have groups now where you need and the purpose of the group is just to start laughing somebody starts laughing right hey laughs any of that it lasts before you know it the whole room is like roaring with laughter and this is supposed to be therapeutic it could be maybe it is therapeutic you know maybe you do have to like let off some tension and let off some steam and laughter is probably a good way to do that exercising is also a good way of doing it listening to music it is good way of doing it yeah but the point is right even if you do one of these laughter seminars and even it from time to time like you enjoy a good joke you want to sit around and have a good time that's fine but when it's delineating right everything a good measure when I tell it a good joke you want to hang out with the guys and have a beer and tell some jokes and have to have a good time as long as doesn't can become like inappropriate and rude and crude that's okay you know but not all of the time you have to most of the time a person has to be serious and take his studies seriously kiba chances hook and your collection of shamira chimayo love lehenga yeah Steve Aldama SATs emotionally scarred for sure oh you can a lone grove oh ha there mr. Keck and therefore person has to work very hard also to acquire friends who were not like uncontrollable laughter yeah and he says it's not only regarding a friend been writing a rabbi it's interesting I said that before you know it's a bit reluctant to say that but here you see the author himself says that a person who's looking for a friend are looking for a rabbi should find a friend or a boy who's not like overly emphasizing laughing and joking all the time that's not that's not the true path shamima lo yesh ft the soy tu mensaje kim Veloz the Prophet Jeremiah said I did not sit among the scoffers and laugh and be jovial and have fun with all of them sieve and see if it's written furthermore be called active ta muy saw the whole debt savvier musa a person should actually rather be a little more on the serious side than on the light-hearted side yeah a little more serious than then than an airhead paid sonic sign the the second paragraph barbados yesh miss him clubs coke remember the whole pattern in the book he brings a whole series of attributes and they're usually brought in pairs each one of a pair is either generally negative or generally positive even if it's generally negative or generally positive it still has some of the other character so for example happiness will have a lot of good qualities but they're going to be some attributes of happiness which a person which could be potentially negative a person has to be concerned about so like all with like with all the other attributes here is expressing some of the negative sides of happiness that you have to be aware of he says harm a rose yes but simpler hook there are a lot of potential bad which can come out of this overly expressed or inappropriate form of joy and laughter come on Samantha nixle Herrera American beginner pick a rock we pick it all up for example if something happens to somebody else something bad happens to somebody else very often a person you have to admit it can be happy about that even if you don't laugh and make a joke out of it but you might be happy in your heart that that person trips up might be happy your heart the person trips up let's say you have a sheer full of people and one guy among all the others seems to be more advanced not that he's hard or arrogant about it but the fact of the matter is that he's able to answer most questions right most so it's natural that most people in the shear are gonna feel a certain degree of like jealousy night it's natural one time he answers a question and he's totally off and the rabbi may because he's so used to this guy being on the on the ball on the mark is really like upset how could he say something and his response might also be perhaps inappropriate but he might like without thinking about it say something so now this guy answered wrong and he gets clobbered over the head by the rabbi for doing so how many people in room are probably likely feeling ah he deserves it he doesn't really deserve it it's not like he was arrogant right or holding himself over others because of his ability to answer properly but just time after time he was he understand it he answered probably other people are gonna feel very often other people who built happy in their hearts for the fact that this guy slipped up that's wrong ah but everybody got a chuckle out of it and it's just not good old fun right no cuz it was obviously the motivation is bad we'd be different of course if this guy was arrogant and he was constant trying to put other people down and he was always trying to race to be the first and race to be the best and he was doing so with a negative competitive fashion so that would be a different story you know but plenty of times and this is just one scenario that we're likely to experience in accounting here in the Shiva but all it all the time it happens all the time people slip up people mess up top type of situation a person like will laugh or chuckle or at least kind of be happy in his heart that this guy tripped and fell on his face yeah that's obviously wrong vazi never regarding this it says been full of it altus mark in the downfall of your enemy don't rejoice don't rejoice even when it's your enemy any false you're not supposed to rejoice all the more so when it's not somebody who's your enemy your fellow Jew but it does something let's say awkward or something that and all of a sudden becomes a laughingstock it's wrong today you have to control your laughter the poor guy was that you know going to lunch room he got some lunch and he slipped and he fell and now he's like all on the floor and his food is on top of him underneath him everything else and people start laughs that's horrible a guy night the poor guy of course it's funny in a certain level but you have to be able to control yourself that's wrong you have ten people standing over him laughing yeah and none of them have been down and help pick them up all right because it's funny stop laughing and start thinking about what you can do to help rectify the situation Voddie are simple ramos you have a type of joy which even worse than this kumho SMF cachaca Veronique shall devote a sabores book oh so may have beneath you do so for example not if a person just messes up in general regarding mundane things but if it messes up regarding spiritual things yeah he puts on filling and he puts it on the wrong arm or he puts it on backwards or whatever and so somebody made some snide nasty remark about how little this guy knows what kind of business that he's trying to serve a sham he's trying to fulfill the midst of a filling so he messes up so that's a reason to like cut into the guy and an embarrassing or make snide remarks and more often than that when we do that it's because we ourselves feel insecure and we found an opportunity to be a rabbi all of a sudden right I can be a rabbi why because I two months in no more than this beginner what kind of business is that so you see you're actually trying to laugh and gain some type of pleasure oh and elevate yourself by pointing out somebody else's fault that's obviously evil that's obviously wrong that's not the type of laughter we're talking about by the way there's a puss like and share Sheeran which says dlugo Ally Ahava excuse me dig Lowell I ova the Jewish people talk about got you know share sharing song of songs is portrayed as like a love song between a man and a woman it's allegorically representative of the relationship between the Jewish people and a Shem and therefore it's this type of a love song this profession of love between God and the Jewish people in the Jewish people in God so the Jewish people say about God vide glow alya hava that God's degil which is like a flag or a banner it's a banner which I hold up lovingly with love the D glow alive I hold up uphold his banner lovingly that's what God says that's what the Jewish people say about God do tomorrow says that the same verses recited by God about the Jewish people differently God doesn't say the glow Allah Allah but rather when God is talking about the Jewish people he says the dlugo alya not dig low but dlugo reversing of the words what's the difference Big L is the banner that's what we hold up for Shem what is a sham hold up for us I d-loop what is it d Luke when a person messes up when a person is serving a sham he's dava kneeing he's doing a mitzvah but he slurs the words or he leaves out the words he doesn't pronounce them properly or he doesn't mitzvah but he doesn't do it properly his hearts in the right place but he fumbles through it so God says regarding that deal go Alli ova I love that I love that God says how cute that's adorable it's like when a kid starts talking and he reverses the words right and he says I don't know instead of ice cream he says hi Serena whatever you know something like that has it oh that's so cute is it to say that again now if a 20 year old did that you're like this guy's got a problem right but when it's a baby you're like do it again do it again you want to prompt the kid that's hood that's how God sees are messing up until that because because we're like his kids were like his children were like his babies and when a Shem sees us no matter how educated no matter how experienced but when we mess up so that's like beloved in God's eyes that's beautiful oh that's so sweet I love that and therefore God sees this beginning and putting on tefillin but he puts it on the wrong arm or it puts it on backwards and we're laughing at him what a fool what a novice but a green yeah and God is laughing in dearly that's beautiful oh that's that's one did you see what my son just did if we're not as filling backwards that's so cute do it again he loves that yeah if it's sincere from your heart so we should laugh at somebody who's doing something which is so endearing in the shams eyes and therefore it's very careful not to laugh or to scoff about people who are doing things wrong that's certainly in the mundane plane in the more so if it's talking about things having to do with the photos a ship Marshall he gives an example I gave an exemplar to let's see the author gives an example so it's shatov him for example you should know evide sean aslam alikum una if you have a scenario where a servant is serving his master faithfully yesh lalit stare be also an awesome Hamilton bad annoyed the mcafee muscle this servant who serves his master faithfully will actually feel pain and anguish over seeing other people disrespect or other servants for example a rebel against the master who've Loki con he would be required to rebuke them open him in their face load the Omni Busan to tell them this is a horrible thing your master supports you he clothes you he feeds you he gives you shelter and behind his back you speak about it that way I mean it's one thing if you're talking about a masters mean and evil and cruel yeah sometimes people employees do this all the time with her employer yeah the employees room they have a coffee and a cigarette or something to talk about the you know the employer the owner that I had you could work somewhere else if you want why are you working here and taking his money if he's a jerk that's one thing but usually that's not the case it just resentful the fact that he owns the business and I have to work for him open your own business you have a complaint open your own business why don't you open your own business because you can't for XYZ reasons so you're beholden to him he's he's employed you he's a decent guy so why do you speak bad about him right that's our natural tendency we do that have to avoid that so a person who is a truthful servant a truthful dedicated servant of this of this master will rebuke the others and say shut up don't talk that way ven zey nem on this is not an évidemment somebody who would speak this way rock cover the ish Marshallese rather he's like a friend of the destroyer vivanno you saw his transgression he will hold fini a Kosovo mayor the verse says wrote saya Sheamus era of God wants he dyers those who fear him those who are in all him amisha cement with Mitchell cavero somebody who is happy over the spiritual slip up of his friend so that's a sign that he's really not interested in the service of the king if you really love the Sham right if you really were dedicated to a Shem you would not be happy about somebody's accidental miss mess up certainly all the intentional mess up god forbid somebody you got something data or some negative feeling about somebody else and he ends up doing some transgression let's say intentionally you find out about it so you might be happy in your heart should you be happy in your heart ah he thought it was such a sonic now look at it even if the guy was not the best guy in the world and even if like I said not like I was saying before even if he was arrogant and he held himself above others and the end of the day you found out like he transgressed shoppers or something so you should be happy about that in the end of the day who's shabbos did you desecrate a Shems and we're all fans of a sham right so we should be happy the fact that somebody else kind of went over to other team even if it's only temporarily no so clearly that's the wrong thing to do the opposite also true when you see somebody doing something good yeah they strengthen themselves all of a sudden to put on CCS or two in or to learn a bit more or like that classroom scenario that we talked about the guy gets the right answer it was like on the tip of your tongue and you're just going to say it and he says first the ride was like oh wow great excellent how did you do that and like I could have gotten that compliment it was writing a tip of my tongue I could have said it foot kind of business is that should be happy for him that he was that he was no comment for the MS be happy for him that he understood the tourney got the right answer you have it's important the rabbi or other people have to know that you also have the right answer is it enough that you know that you have the right answer and that you know that a shame no right answer you're upset that somebody else got the right answer and also got the credit for it what kind of business that if you really feel you have the Sham and we really have the Torah I'd be more than happy that somebody got the right answer and doesn't have to be me the main thing is both Michelle we got the right answer right that's an indication that person is a real fan of Michelle it's a group effort does it matter whether whether it's me or whether it's somebody else the main thing is as a team right we got it because one of us got it Road CI Sheamus you off Oh Misha Samantha Mitchell hadera a nut so no carrots on a boy spa okay he's pal already knew who Nia and therefore revenue and kounya prayed maghrib an econo alia Costa Luca vib Devon halacha there smoke mayhem let there not be a scenario where my friends mess up they mess up in some devar halacha and I should be happy with them their different ways of explaining this is a prayer that we say before learning Torah in the day and it's printed usually in the front page of most of the remoras it's a very beautiful prayer and it's nice to say and and and this is this is one of the phrases that's in there in the prayer shallow yet cash Lou Heather I but Valhalla have a smock mayhem but my friends should not mess up with their Torah learning and I should be happy with them there are different ways of learning this one of the ways is I pray that my friends meaning my fellow students should not mistake they're learning and then I should be happy with them but another explanation is and my friends should not mess up in their learning and then I should be happy with that with the fact that they made that mistake so i'm making a prayer asking a sham to protect me from this very common scenario where a person says the wrong thing and i'm happy that he messed up why because if I'm happy that he messed up in words of Torah that's a sign that I don't really love the Torah I don't really have a Shen felucca delorca Shelvey smoothie and furthermore I should not mess up and they should not be happy with my mess up while Kenny followed by me no kuni americano I'll say and therefore the rabbi prayed for this key raschi's aid over Matsui he saw that this is a very common thing chef had Samia batalha vero that one person can be happy with a mistake of his Kodesh yahoo and nazia because Xavier o village em so that he should vanquish his friend and he should get the reputation of convent haddam house shooting in indesign was a and even very like hush of the people people who are well respected and tour learners can also become prey to this type of a thing it's like you have to have roses right and the arguing back and forth and finally the one guy proves that the other one made a mistake and now he's like ah inside he's really happy why cuz he was right that's obviously the wrong attitude first of all I haven't i arguing with my busa I see one way he has lisa is another way the first thing I should do is rather than explain and demonstrate why my way is right let me try and ask him and figure out why he thinks and perhaps his way is right I have to be first let's hear what he has to say first waiter that's an interesting idea I didn't think about it that way I saw it realize that totally opposite but it's intriguing that's here how do you get that where does it come from what's the wording and each and when you ask for him to explain it your attitude should not be one of challenging him you're wrong prove you're right but rather that's interesting let's see why that's right right because he might be saying something true might be saying something true you've worked through it together and it turns out that what he's saying doesn't really seem to work for XYZ reasons so you say you know what I hear that it doesn't work for me for X bar Z reasons I'll tell you what I think it seems to me it's the other way XY is it all right great open up rashi Rashi says like you great great now she says like me but at least I heard his way of thinking and I'm happy to have exported the way he saw it and there are different facets to the Torah as long as you're learning Rashi it turns out that you are right but if you learn toast foes you'll find out that your friend was right and he might not have been able to explain the reasons why a B and C but tose tose does and you see there for you had you were right and he was right you were arguing my cloak is been washing and toast was great so your raashee nice toes holes or your toes was a nice rashi the main thing is that you're learning together you're expected you're respecting each other and loving the same tour together rather than becoming a shouting match over who's right and who's wrong and if you see a rooster getting into a shouting match and things get a little bit off the hook like that might be an indication that the learning is not entirely legitimate I'm not saying that a person shouldn't learn with enthusiasm with passion yeah but if it starts to be like shouting so the best way to ensure that you're not going to hear another person it's the shout cuz if you shout then you can drown it out right white your shout then you'll have to listen to him the opposite also true the best way to make sure that a guy's not going to listen to you is to shout shout out I'm really loud guarantee is not going to hear you I can hear a word you say because you're shouting but if you're really looking for the MS the truth of Torah so you're going to realize it really doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong it's as a have Russa we find the MS together and therefore I'm happy if you got the shot now I have a closer to be of MS so he says Valle comet video danke shoe the Anatomy's arm is in even though even people are more advanced in Torah and Torah learning they're not careful with this and they get all guys I think about their Torah and they get upset when somebody else gets the right answer and they don't or they're happy when the other guy gets it wrong ah how can that be how can I possibly be the chemical ish are shared so nogitsune looky there for anybody whose will is harmonious with the will of a Shem its style Shane na say about Sona sham he should be upset in any considers an area where the will of a shame is not being done and not be happy that this guy slipped up so a feat also love you spotted autumn she Avila buries from hit even are the people that he doesn't like he should he should pray that they serve a shame he's not talking here about a religious person as opposed to anonymous he's talking about to religious people who are arguing their neighbors and they're arguing over something having to do with their property or whatever who knows what but even if they're arguing even evidence of opinion and even if they go to based in and even one guy loses right they should still be praying for the spiritual well-being of each other I can pray that I that I that I xem enables me to open my mouth and present my case properly so that I win that they did the ways didn't get my money back or something like that but that doesn't mean that i should want for anything bad for that other person gossip husband Sean certainly I should consider him to be a Russia I want him to slip up in his about a session because of that you've having between also but beer Cassata Honan and therefore when he makes the bracha at a heinonen das a beer kizashi they know the book of asking a shame to help is due to Vaux who would be of a slacker oh no braja having do it asking a shame to to forgive us I'll call Israel it should be for all of cloudy through and that's why the Amidah is the lush and robbing in the plural because you're praying for all of cloudless room or valve a sign of whether the people I love or whether the people don't get along with the head with Cola Broncos the same thing with all the Bravo's he aint you talkin she is Paulo no fake Jose ami soil praying to a sham that he should he should he should sure all of the sick of Israel and you should be thinking well meaning not all of the sick only the ones that I get along with but the ones that I don't get along with I don't want you to I don't want you to cure hospital him who sharp Broncos blue loco Fetzer how dare you slap a oh you shock him it's unthinkable that he wouldn't want somebody else to get well if he's sick or to become wise and tour if he's not so volvo shows a high yet in rugged mellowed beloved boys but no DOM and since this yet sir is very common in the hearts of people mortgage being in a Zayn it's so subtle that we don't even feel it look at Nick stove lon 0h am locking the bomb the looky there for I've written here in order to repair those who truly serve a sham to want to service them to be sensitive to this Bhuvana shelaima Metis to have a proper in full qivana leash book national cat finish em to pour out their souls in front of a Shem i'll call israel for the benefit of all Israel or vice versa not those he loves and even the ones he doesn't get along with so well who buys a Akai em and in this way fulfill the Mitzvah they are after litter ha kamika you shall love your fellow jew or even your fellow man chemical as your self I just had an idea based on some of the things that he's saying it survived a little bit comical of your friend as you love yourself but Raya is also spelled like the word rock so you should like love your friend even if this friend is like an enemy and so you don't like him so much still the after the rain Kaka mocha love him as yourself and if you were sick you pray for yourself so if he's sick pray for him if you didn't understand Tori very much you would pray for em to help you understand more become more righteous so pray for this person that you don't get along with that he should also be able to learn the Torah and become more righteous you can't go wrong by praying that he become better and therefore there's no reason to be selective about this type of thing after larocca kimiko there's another shot here dr. Laurie akaka mocha if rah is also evil that's like the yetzer hora after the way aha kamika you should love your yet Sahara as yourself meaning don't view your yet sir always is something separate from yourself view your yet Zara as a friend that you can actually use and harness and cultivate for your well-being and that's certainly the truth that a lot of the drives that we have that we usually identify as the yetzer Hara these are not evil drives their drives the question is how do you direct them the after their vaca mocha you should love these drives that were implanted in you by a sham because if you use them properly they can actually be befriended by you and used and harnessed by you for your good kabocha lutoyia dime yoseef elements and it concludes paragraph by saying a person who is truly pure of hands so such a person will not have fear he will increase his courage and therefore if a person has true and pure intentions in his heart to do hush m's will and that the glory of a Shem should be increased he will not be afraid and he'll take courage everybody should be able to take part in this project that we're doing together which is the god of the Kaddish Shem sure mine bara boom amen you