Rabbi Yehuda Oppenheimer - When Following Torah Law is Not Enough

okay good evening and um i'm very happy to have this opportunity to be able to give this special sheer to honor my the memory of my dear former congregant my friend marshall epstein oliver shalom and i want to thank robbie who's with me here and uh anytime maybe and most of all rachel who uh who thought of me and asked me to do this and um may uh may our words here be uh marshall and uh may his nashamah have an aliyah it's a little bit beyond the yard site but marshall was never that great with being exactly on time so that's fine okay so here we are we are now in the days leading up to both parties balok and the the three weeks which begins on sunday uh right after shabbos the three weeks which are the three weeks of reflecting on why we lost the bass amigdas why we still don't have it not just mourning over it but that's really what we're supposed to be thinking about why don't we have it and i'd like to focus on a theme that's common to both of these issues if you ask most people why did we lose the base of english so the answer you get almost always will be because of sin baseless hatred which is a topic in itself what does that mean what kind of base hatred is baseless which is this is there really such a thing but um hatred is certainly a problem and in my studies this past two years i've been studying to become a licensed tour guide in israel and we've looked a lot into jewish history and the level of hatred that was going on in the time preceding the khorben mesage of the second base of english was unbelievable way way beyond kamsa barca which we're all familiar with deep-seated hatred and maybe another day is a day to talk about that but the truth is i want to talk about something else which is that the gemara in bhavansiya uh base offers a different reason we'll see maybe they're related i'm sure they're related to some extent but that's not what the gemara says immersed says an interesting why was this jerusalem destroyed al shaddhanu bad in torah because they did then according to torah that's an odd statement and the more immediately uh challenge is that el adina de megie solid i know what do you want what kind of didn't do should they do as rashi says should you do uh forcing people on on all sorts of negative things on on on lawlessness well of course we're supposed to go to the retire what does that mean because they spaced themselves on din torah okay so what the second half of the statement the law of du la funim mishra sadin they didn't do beyond the the literally the line of law or the letter of the law they only were very doing things exactly according to the law and not beyond the law however we should do things according to the law we might say right that's why he destroyed the base of english because they didn't do things according to the beyond the law i have to understand what that means but let's think about what left him and and and what it could mean to us certainly it means at one level going the extra mile doing more than what's expected of one being able to as they say even this is hazak but i'll use a yiddish word be able to i don't know if there's no good english word for that which means kind of to be willing to hold oneself back and let somebody else have something even even if you're entitled to it if again let them have it not demand what is strictly speaking coming to one with nimitz and i thought that this was an actually an excellent topic to think about when thinking about marshall because he was the epitome of that of the flemishers when it came to other people i always looked to help others never sought honor for himself he often swallowed his pride and when others didn't appreciate his efforts and i'm fully aware of quite a few times where he tried to do things and people didn't appreciate and even had tightness on him when all he'd meant to do was to do good he always looked to do the right thing for everyone to give of himself and to give and to give everything that he possibly could even in the later years when he was quite sick when he was weak when he couldn't function he would try his best to give i remember one time when i walked into my office in the young israel and i see somebody's legs sticking out from the behind the desk and who is that and it's marshall he's putting together a computer desk that he decided to buy for me but she bought me many things um marshall what are you doing i wanted to give this you want to make me but he barely could walk but he's he's still down there and putting it together himself that was that was just a typical marshall kind of thing which he would do he had he had a card of gold and him and even he would try lifting misheard in to do as much as he could to go the extra mile to be helpful and to be kind and to be giving so the finisher said it is a wonderful thing but it's an interesting halachic question is leflemishers hadin something which is nice and it's amiidas hasidus and it's sitkus and something beyond you know you shouldn't just do the right thing or is it actually something that's required because and it would seem the gemara we just read that whoever records who had tightness on them that they didn't go left or something would think the feminist understand is optional you do it fine you don't do it one what's what's this what is this what does that mean what when is it the flemishers and then extra what is it when is it actually required so the gamora bar mitsia also in a different place in dav page has a an interesting take on this in an interesting story with rabbi khan some is always the one with interesting stories so i'll go with that he had an interesting day he had some workers okay in israel we could always think of people like that sabalim right he came and he hired some workers to go and take some barrels of wine and bring them either upstairs downstairs whatever the story is the gemara doesn't say really but what happened was tabrouleh instead of doing the job they ended up breaking the wine barrels it all spilled all over the place and he lost quite a bit of money on the on the job right and they were standing there so they had all taken off their coats i guess it was in the winter time so just wanted to be paid for his with the loss they didn't want to do that he took the coats and held them he said well you get to when you get pay me back for my losses that's when uh that's when you'll get your coat back so what did they do being good jews they sued him they went to rav rav and they said and what we want our coats back he wasn't allowed to keep them armalay so rap said to rabbi khanna give it back to them they should get it he asked him dino is that really the did is it the din that i'm required to give it back to them are you just thinking that i should be a nice guy where am i actually halachically required you said in yes it's a din because it says apostle conviction you should go in a good way in the way of the good people says rashi man beyond the letter of the law that's required here interesting and then it even goes further than that believe it or not i'm allah i'm alone so you said uh okay i gave you the codes goodbye you know i didn't want to but okay and they said wait a minute you didn't pay us what they want to get paid also they said to him we we're we're not we're poor we're not we're not people with money taxing we worked for you for those hours and the caffeine and vales le mini now we have nothing to show for it we have our coach but we have any money oh marley rob said to him zeal have a great you have to pay them you're required to follow the way of the righteous and therefore you have to pay them that's how the said the uh sixth peric of bhavamitsu finishes so that's very interesting what is this about all right and the shloka cutters looking at this gemara actually says when he comments he said why didn't he why did he not just say you know i want you to do lefinity said then but he said that's the din because that taka is the din the din is that you have to do lift an immature ascendant now of course what does that mean when does it apply and it's not easy to really put a a a broad black letter law kind of gather on it one might say that it's because rubber barbachana was a talmud he was a rabbi he was a respected person in the community you need to know act in a way which is a little bit beyond you can't just sort of hide behind well the laws i don't have to pay for you it's it's linkedin some hold that slip shot somehow that for any person who holds himself as a person of integrity that's the shock it's difficult to understand and to know what's right it's interesting in the law there is a concept of justice and there's a concept of equity in the olden times there used to be courts of justice and justice and courts of equity uh in fact in eretz israel today the uh high supreme court sometimes sits as the supreme court and sometimes sits as the bhagats the bettin and i was just uh watching a uh hespid um the other day what just just passed away a very very special hush of a person a justice shmuel tao he was known mainly for the tau law having to do with drafting yeshiva guys for the army i'm not going to go into what that is now but he was a person who i was had the um the merit of of knowing a little bit given that uh my parents lived invite for god and he i would often see him as in in a tremendous and and such a special jew and i and and a person just dripping with integrity and and he is he i saw an interview where he was speaking about how about guts when when he sits as a judge in bhagat's it's not about so to speak who has the best legal argument to win the case it's about what's right what's the correct thing to do in the situation it's about yoshi it's about sedic then and that that it does not necessarily follow the rules so to speak of who has the best lawyer and who has the best legal argument etc that's what we're talking about over here and a person if you look lift sure a person who's interested in being the kind of person that marshall really uh uh represented a person who's not interested in what my rights are here what's what am i have to do what one of my required absolute but what's the right thing to do what's the best way to conduct myself how do i be a good person that person will be literally sure and it's interesting i think this is very related to our power show this week the story of billa in bullock i'll start with the torah the torah contains a passage from the book of mikha the last verse of that passage is very famous especially in the non-orthodox circles that's almost kolotarakula where they said that you are supposed to be associable to love uh kindness and uh and to you know to do tikkun olam they couldn't get that mainly from here but of course the words much more beyond that what says as follows i want to listen to what hashem is saying arise contend the mountains let the hills hear your voice hashem has a as an issue with the people and he argues with them on me what have i ever done bad to you how did i injure you how did i tire you i may be say tell me is is there something that i'm owing you that you're always complaining about me and leaving me and going for about what did i do oh i know what i did i took you up from its rhyme i brought you up from the house of bondage we're going to put before you these three special i was wonderful people moshe aaron and miriam to lead you and then yeah remember what the bullock the king of moab what he tried to uh to conspire against you he schemed how bilam answered him if you think of all those events you have to recognize the righteous words of hashem and there's much hazal on this basically saying that we should understand and that's not to go too far afield here but that's a big part of the story of billam amis well had no idea what was going on there the only reason we know about it is because moshe reported on it they were sitting down below while these these people were plotting and scheming against them and trying to do that naked who prevented that from taking place even though bilaam was trying as best as he could to curse them right so my people right he said you ask how should i approach hashem what does hashem want men should i bring him my my my offerings with my best calves does hashem want uh thousands of rams or tens of thousands of streams of oil right um give my firstborn for my sins or is that what hashem wants no he has told you what is good what is it that hashem really wants from us what is he looking for us to do justice to love kindness and to walk humbly to work modestly with hashem that's what hashem wanted us to do kindness to be humble and not to be for blizzard with oneself again all qualities that marshall personified very beautifully so that's the half torah of parshas pinchas of parashat why is that taurus the simple reason is because it mentions bullock okay but most of torres does goes way beyond just that one sort of surface reference but it goes to the essence of what bulk and bilum are about and what that was about you know there's many ways to cut to this but i don't want to go for too long here but one thing that is very famous and most of us know is amishta and pirkayovo's parakeet missionary utes mr says as follows call me she is whoever is has these three qualities is a disciple of abraham if you have these the other three qualities then you're a talmud of billah the evil one if you have an ayantova ruach nefesh fella if you have eintova these things you can spend a lot of time defining them but basically they are an ayantova means exactly what we said before forgiving not looking at people in a negative way looking at somebody and looking in the good eye not not looking why didn't i get it looking be happy for the other person right that's ayn tovah is being humble nephesh fella as being is a person who's not looking to accentuate themselves but looking for others such a person is a dominant venus the opposite qualities of lying raw and then a person is arrogant and a person is full of himself that's a talmud of okay fine then the mission goes on to ask a very strange question of shall be russia what is the difference between the students of avraham the stillings of billam first of all why is it talking about the students of rahm and the students of bilum interesting question but what do you mean what kind of question is that what what the difference between avraham and mil and billah let's just finish the mishnah it says that the tel meetum of abraham avinu will have a good life in this world and and the medium of bilaam will go down to gaha what kind of question is that i once heard somebody put the question this way when you're contrasting different things you contrast things that are somewhat similar i heard the remember of cooperman the way he put it is what is between the talmidim of chevron and the tambinum of punvish that's a question you could ask you don't ask the question what's the difference between the talmina ponovich and the medium of berkeley they're two worlds apart they're somewhat similar so are they similar of roman villa and of course the answer is that at a surface level if you look at it just at a very surface level there is a similarity to vino abram and billa first of all they were both great naveen and they were acclaimed by the people around them and also a lot of the things that we see in this story if we compare the story of of bilum going and the story of of avraham going to the al-qaeda there are similarities both of them get a navua both of them get up in early in mourning same words that they themselves even both both of them were wealthy people they were so excited about going that they went ahead and and saddled the donkey themselves right they went and did as much as possible one might argue sure had in more than they had to do but in contrasting ways avraham did sure sudden for the good bill um did la flima show us in the other direction they were want they both focused on what does hashem want they build when when when the the officers come to speak to bilham and ask him to come with that right he uh talks about how he can only do what hashem wants he only has to see what hashem wants but he's really focused on what he wants both of ram and bilam were going to somewhere but avraham knew that hashem really if he had wanted to he could have made a million arguments as the gemara says as to why he should not do the akedah as to why that is against what hashem told them earlier in many other cases he could have made many many reasons of of trying to avoid going to the al-qaeda but he didn't this is what hashem wants and i'm going to try to put my own feelings aside and go ahead and try to figure the rats on hashem and to do what hashem wants and to do it with as much of a whole heart as possible even though it's the most painful thing he could possibly ask of me the the ultimate balches with the one son that he was born to him when he was 100 years old who he sees as his entire future he's willing to put them all on side if that's what hashem wants even though he's he's convinced that he can't be bill him the other way around he knows exactly that hashem does not want him to go and hashem told himself very clearly he does not want him to go but he wants to find this way to find that way and to go in and maybe i'll make this argument i'll bring that curb and i'll find a way to talk this way and that way that even though i know what hashem wants i'm going to have soul of animation you know in a negative sense to go i'm going to find a way to try to do it and then we see as they go ahead and proceed avraham goes with yitzhak and goes with the ravimo and the word that keeps being repeated in that parsha is they went together they went as one they went and with a sense of purpose and with a sense of feeling together and without without of rum trying to grab and grant grand eyes himself on the other hand bilaam of course we all know the story he wanted he would only go unless he had bigger uh you know entourage and then what does he do he hits his donkey he beats it he wants to even kill it he's so full of himself and his own ego and his own sense of how did you do this to me and how come you're not letting some peace that he's willing to kill to hit to hurt the opposite of abraham when we find when when villain eventually goes again he's always trying to find another way in this way to go to be to try to go away from hashem avraham after he finishes his his and he's given the good news that in fact hashem never really asked him to sacrifice his son he just so i asked him to offer him up which he did and once he offered him up he could take him down abram goes back to naara of an opposite kind of way of behavior and that sense of who bilum is is really at the essence of of that verse those verses that we read in michael of really want from us does he want us to bring a lot of offerings does he want us to bring this mitzvah that mitzvah hashem wants those things of course in in due time but the basic thing that hashem wants more than anything else to love justice to do kindness and to go up modestly with hashem that's the way that hashem really wants us us to do and that's often to go beyond the law to forgive to be able to do a little finisher people who are too punctilious about exactly finding what they need to do and and and and doing it exactly this way and and often unfortunately and we see this all around us sometimes unfortunately leads to sin there is a connection between here because when people feel that i'm doing it this way and you're not letting me do exactly what i want and you're not doing it the way that you should be doing it and that's i think it's your fault that this that happens so it's a lot of the cause of the sin of sin rather than people understanding i have my relationship with the gem you have your relationship with the children of course while supposed to do the basic but i understand that each person is as their own individual to be able to be willing to live with different people who who have different opinions and different ways of doing things and aren't perfect the neons beyond not standing on one's rights choosing to be a talmud of avraham avinu and not talmud of bill and and that's at the core of what pasha's bullock is about what it means for us as we and uh and that's another reason why this torah is chosen to teach us not just about the specifics of the bill billum story but to the you know how you should be you should be the opposite of what bill was about okay so may the wonderful memory of marshall stay with us may remind us to be kind and gentle to enjoy life to the fullest he loved life he loved to laugh he loved to be just uh to sit and to schmooze and to have just a great time with people whether but he also had his ability to be serious about the things that needed to be serious even when hashem limits our options as he was limited in the last few years it's to make everyone life around us be better may his memory be a blessing an inspiration to all of his sons to yoni and to arun and eliezer and to his grandchild and of course to and to all of us may we learn from this example and may uh once again bring us together someday in the time when we'll join together bayava thank you for listening you