Will TeShuva Help Me Quit Smoking? (15 minutes)

[Music] the entire lifetime of mosenu was doing what hasem wanted not because he wanted it as his own natural inclination is that he made his natural inclination what hasem wanted him to do this is one of the most important parts that will help anyone that truly wants to be a proud Jew this is one of the most important parts to work on before doing anything ask yourself what does God think about this what does God think about the change I'm going to give him this customer what does God think about the prayer I'm about to make what does God think about the customer I'm about to deal with what does God think about this sh that I have what does God think ask yourself what does Hashem think about all these things because as long as you use AEM as The Guiding point it makes it much easier to remove your opinion why because first if you think about your opinion first and then you say what does God think about it becomes a little harder why because immediately you've opened two giant doors for the to come in the is going to convince you you're a genius so for example what is it like when I used to smoke cigarettes for a long time for 20 years and uh when uh I started learning tah I got to one point where I realized that you're not allowed to smoke simply you're not allowed to smoke why because it hurts your hurts your body you're not allowed to hurt your body so I said yeah but you know what but they well I need to smoke because I'm addicted to it there's no says you're addicted to something you're allowed to do it okay so I can't pass that one okay but listen I've been smoking for a long time I'm used to it doesn't make a difference I like it doesn't make a difference eventually the that I had inside me was showed me how much of a genius he is eventually he said listen every time you smoke a cigarette it's a Mitzvah how is it a Mitzvah when do you smoke most when you're learning Tor you learn Tor stay up listen reading a book after a while you get a little tired and fall asleep you think hasm wants you to fall asleep why you learning T what kind of SP is that so you smoke how you going to stay up at 3:00 in the morning when you're learning for the Shure you can't go to sleep so you have to smoke how you going to learn the the the you don't even understand what it says and it's boring to you in the beginning you have to smoke so the yet convinced me my cigarette is and it took a while for me to say you know what you're really full of it you're really full of it but that's the biggest C in the world is inside you he's inside you waiting to give you an excuse to rationalize your own Wicked Behavior listen you can't stop doing drugs you're already addicted you what's going to do to your body when you think hem wants you to die you know people die from uh getting over the drugs you think Hashem wants you to uh not yell at your wife how's she going to learn you need to discipline her you think you're you think Hashem wants you to be ugly for your husband what kind of SL bite you going to have if Hashem thinks that if if your husband is not happy with you so you have to dress immodestly you have to do this you have to do that and your yet is going to constantly convince you how to be a c unfortunately if we let him in if we let this this fly in he's not leaving and as we all know the fly right before he goes on top of our Stak he stands on a on the poop of the dogs he doesn't hang out at the cafe lounges drinking coffee he hangs out at the garbage dump right before he goes on our STI so the the little fly that you have on your heart he's bringing all the garbage with him so when he's convincing you first that your cigarette is a Mitzvah and that your minis skirt and tank top is a Mitzvah that's just the beginning that's just the beginning slowly but surely eventually first it's just a cigarette then it's listen Hashem said that learning t on Shabbat is worth a thousand times more than learning T during the week how are you going to learn tah on Shabbat without smoking a cigarette sounds crazy but that's what the says and that's what actually happens so you let him in in the middle of the night on a Monday he said Monday I'm here coming back Tuesday he comes back Tuesday oh she feels at home by Wednesday he knows he's coming back Thursday Friday Friday Night comes along he's not leaving he's already feels at home Shabbat comes in he's like listen how you going to leave me with me the whole week you're going to leave me hanging he's going to try to work on you the whole Shabbat to make sure you smoke just a little drag just just a little thing stay up you're doing a mitvah it's worth a thousandfold he's going to convince you with mitv he's not going to convince you with a my mom told me this one story that the BM said he said yet comes to you like a poor man saying please please give me a little bit I don't have any sins give me some of your sins you have so many sadik you're such a righteous person give me a little bit of sins not big ones no don't be don't be modest don't be give me just a little s eat just something that's not 100% koser do something that's not 100% kosher lie to this one customer cheat this one non-jew do something small it's not a big deal watch this TV show something small why hasem really cares about your TV come give me one small sin he comes to you like a little homeless person but once he comes he doesn't want to leave what is it like it's like a poor man that came to a uh rich man's house and he said listen I can't afford to buy this big $10 million house you have but I've always wanted to have something you have a big house can you give me space just for one nail the rich guy says what for a nail yeah just one I have one nail it's all my all all I own is one nail and I have $11,000 I'm willing to give you $1,000 for you to let me stick the nail anywh you want in the house the guy has a $10 million house he likes money says what's the big deal I have such a big house I'm probably not even going to notice this nail okay fine give me 1,000 bucks easy ,000 go ahead pick a place to put the nail in he picks a place somewhere in the house he puts the nail he observes his nail wow what a nail look at this look at the house you're surrounded by feels at home it's beautiful nail he's admiring his nail he's admiring the house that the nail is in and he leaves the rich guy's like what a fool this guy I just made a th000 bucks for nothing later that night at 2:30 in the morning someone's knocking on the door who's knocking on the door 2:30 in the morning he opens the door he sees this poor man again what do you want you have another nail what what do you want no no no I don't have another nail and I don't have another thousand but I wanted to put my hat my hat on the nail cuz I'm going to go to sleep outside I don't want to ruin my hat so I put the Hat on the nail cuz you couldn't come early go no I was working till now I have to put my hat on the nail okay y put the Hat on the nail Monday Tuesday 2:30 in the morning comes back no you already have the Hat on the nail no no I want to put my jacket on the nail and take my hat back you couldn't come early no I need my jacket all day so I couldn't put the jacket on the nail I need to use it okay no it's Tuesday Wednesday 3:00 in the morning got even late no what's today what the jacket the Hat what do you want today he goes no no today I actually just wanted to look at my nail see it's okay cuz yesterday it looked a little shaky and every day he comes back at 2 3 4:00 in the morning by the end of the week the rich guy is losing his Mone goes listen you can't come here anymore goes what do you mean you can't come here anymore I have a contract I bought the place of the nail I'm going to take you to court they go to court Dian says he's right you sold them the place of the nail you have to let him see the nail so the rich guy has to deal with this as the poor man feels at home and every every day he comes throughout the day now he's not only coming at 2:00 in the morning now he comes at 2:00 in the afternoon at 3:00 at 4:00 he's coming every few minutes why cuz that's the law you let him in all the way to the point where the rich guy says you know what the heck with his house take the whole house take the nail take the Hat take the jacket I don't want to live here anymore who wants to live in this place every two minutes the guy comes in that's the the comes to you and says I'm poor I'm homeless I don't have much you have so manyik do Chu you keep shabat you learn T you do this you do that you're so amazing you're a proud Jew give me one nail give me Just One Nail and we give him that nail all this time you've been letting the yet influence your opinion to the point where the yet has become your opinion so now when something different happens say hey hm why'd you do that to me thinking that you were right the whole time look hm I was smoking at 3:00 in the morning for you was mitvah I was learning T why' you give me cancer why' you give me this why' you give me that what do you mean who told you to smoke who told you to not to smoke so what was the ultimate decision the ultimate decision is that I realize that okay the is full of it and which means I'm full of it so I have to find a way to quit not because I want to quit I like smoking but because it's not it's not the will of hem Hashem didn't put me into this world to smoke to be a smoker it's not the will of hem and I started thinking to myself okay wait a minute so what do I do with my hands what do I do with my hands like how do people live without smoking cigarettes like I I got to a point after 20 years of smoking I didn't understand how anybody stands outside and does nothing like what do you do like why are you just sitting there what's wrong with you like why don't you have something in your hand like to me my smoking became normal their standing there is not normal like it can't be that they're right of course I'm right you know you never think anybody else is Right everyone thinks they're right why are you just standing there you're so weird and I'm thinking to myself smoking a cigarette thinking it's normal that was one thing and then the other one was like okay so that I'm probably going to eat too much that I'm going to gain weight so that was another and you just add more and more and more things how I'm going to study how I'm going to stay up and then I started seeing myself I tried quitting I started seeing myself fall asleep like see told you it keeps me up at night and you go back and you fight yourself and you fight yourself but eventually you have to get to a point and say listen this is not and when did I finally realize it I usually I got to a point where I wouldn't smoke next to people and the reason why is because one time I did a Shure early early on and uh a couple of my students went outside was in my house couple of my students went outside they were all smoking cigarettes okay so thought I'll smoke a cigarette with them I think it was a big deal they're smoking what they're looking at me smoking they're smokers like it wasn't even a thought in my mind there's anything wrong with this so I I lit up a cigarette and they look at oh you smoke say yeah why like oh that's it that's all I said oh and immediately I knew that their level of respect not just for me but for everything I just said has dropped drastically why cuz I'm just like them we officially became the same level doesn't matter I just spoke for two hours taught you T I told you what is I told you it doesn't make a difference you and me are the same you smoke I smoke and this was what reminded me of this is when I used to see fakers that wear a costume that looks like they wear the big hat or they wear any type of hat they look like religious people and I would see them in casinos and different places and I'm like wait a minute I'm not really just that's why I'm not a human what are you doing here so then it gave me a visual of of Judaism as like it's fake if you're here and I'm here I prefer my life to yours so that simple cigarette that simple tiny nail that I let like Hey listen they're smoking I'll smoke what's the big deal immediately destroyed the Torah that I taught them and became so then I knew this has to be the last cigarette this has I can never never do this again and that's why I have to quit but again it's not easy I didn't actually want to do it but sometimes you have to decide is your will more important than hashem's will if the answerers even remotely yes you have a lot of work to do that's when you have to eliminate your opinion you have to eliminate it as much as possible until it becomes synonymous with hm's opinion that's what real true lie is [Music]