Understanding Your Problems

[Music] thank you everyone for coming for the uh not only a but also for the a lot of a lot of success in their in their life and their marriage and everything that they do lots of cute little kids there will be uh and also this is a uh G to be uh the shoe also will be for a happy anniversary and happy birthday for dear friends of ours a uh couple that's been together forem many many more years but has been together as many years as you guys are going to be together also uh this is uh the birthday of yingle and also the anniversary between her and her husband yua so give them a uh not only a happy birthday many many birthdays a happy anniversary from all their children you know we have a lot to learn from the the couples that have been together for all these decades you know today's generation uh you know you don't hear too many stories of people having a long marriage uh like you did in the past in the past it was normal to be married for 30 40 50 years it wasn't really much of a big deal today they celebrate when they hear somebody's married for 10 years like wow 10 years survived with the same woman wow same one for sure wow they think it's a big deal that's what you're supposed to do but today unfortunately we have a mentality that uh if it's broken get a new one not if it's broken fix it if it's broken get a new one that's the mentality today the mentality today is that if uh if you don't like what's going on replace it and uh unfortunately there is a uh a uh billboard that uh they actually advertise in America but also in is obvious I'm assuming it's different companies but because there's rash all over the world but uh they advertise something to the tone of you seek of your wife find a new one at such and such website go we'll get you one from Russia we'll get you one from Thailand $3,000 get a new wife I know five five six guys over here thinking $3,000 not so bad it's cheaper than a wedding no but uh this is unfortunately unfortunately that's what people think today they think that uh you know if you don't like what's going on a home you should buy a new one and that's the mistake that's the mistake that a lot of uh young couples make uh thinking that the grass is greener on the other side and there's a lot to learn a lot to learn from couples that have uh you know built a relationship over 20 30 40 50 60 years uh you ask him what's the secret the secret is we wanted it to work out that's the secret meaning that we had fights but we knew that the fight is just something temporary it's a difference of opinion and we have to figure out how to get through this such is the battle that a person has in his own life unfortunately if a person does not know how to overcome obstacles in his own life he's going to have a very very difficult time overcoming them in a marriage life if he's not not able to uh fix his own flaws and realize that he has to fix certain things about himself about herself then they're also not going to want to do it when it comes to marriage and uh this is something that I believe is a uh really it's relevant to all of us that all of us at one point if not almost every day have asked why is this happening to me we have problems by I show of hands who doesn't have problems nobody's raising their hand what's wrong with you guys you guys like depressing me now no what does it mean it means you guys are not Liars why because everybody has problems now despite the fact that we all have problems and we all know that everybody else also has problems we all still ask the question why me why is this happening to me as if you're the only one it's happening to you're late to uh some appointment because you had a flat tire oh why is God doing this to me wait are you the only one in the world that God gave a flat tire to is the entire Auto industry dependent on your flat tire if that's the case they should might as well shut down shop start a new business but the reason why there's auto shops all over the world is because a lot of people get flat tires and guess when they get flat tires on the way to appointments they're not getting flat tires in a garage they're getting flat tires on the way to an appointment because they're driving you're not the only one that's getting a flat tire you're not the only one that got sick you're not the only one that lost money because every time you lost money somebody gained it it doesn't go into the abyss your loss is somebody else's gain your gain is somebody else's loss so the next time you lose don't say why me you say why me when you win why cuz somebody else lost why him you don't feel bad when you win you feel bad when you lose but the point is as much as we all know everything I just said is true we still ask the question why me we still ask why is this happening to me why do I have so many problems why did I get sick why did I lose money why did I uh do this and why did I do that why is this happening to me and so on and so forth we asked the question asking the question makes you a human being not knowing the answer unfortunately is a problem and the reason why it's a problem is because the answer is available to you first thing in the morning when you say in essence what are you thinking you're thinking hem for giving back your n why don't you think your cousin Steve for bringing your Nama back how come you don't thank your mom and dad for bringing your Nish back why don't you call your Rabbi first thing in the morning Rabbi thank you for bringing back my Nama why don't you call like your boss hey Mr Boss Man thank you for bringing back my n why don't you call Bill Gates the richest guy in the world or one of the richest call him Bill Gates listen thank you for bringing you back my how come nobody thanks any of those people because they didn't bring back your Nish as much as you love your parents they didn't bring back as much as you love or hate your Rabbi e he didn't bring back your he may help your go to G but he's not he didn't bring back your why don't you thank him because they're not in control who's in control who you saying thank you to the problem that we have is there's a disconnect there's a disconnect between the to the that we say before we go to sleep everything else is clear we know we need to do we know we need to do before we go to sleep everything in between confusing we know how to wake up we know how to go to sleep everything else we're not so sure because we ask why me why didn't I get the raise why didn't the customer sign a deal with me why why why why why so today we're going to try to answer the question of giving us a little bit more of an exp explanation of why we have problems but really more than necessar more than just why we have problems really understanding the root of all of our problems now of course we've said it before there's no suffering without sin anytime we suffer we uh you know it's because we've sinned at some point in our life either it was today or yesterday or a week ago or a year ago or 10 years ago or even the previous carnation sometimes a person will get a punishment in this life because of something he did in his previous life he'll find out that is his wife is cheating on him why did he get married at such a horrible wife that's cheating on him because he cheated on her in the previous Carnation that's why he got it he cheated on his wife why did somebody get killed in this life because he killed somebody else that's what we learned from the what he says sees there's a g there's a skull floating in a river he looks at the skull and he talks to it he says you know why you're here because you did this to somebody else and whoever did this to you someone else is going to do this to them from there we know that the source for reincarnation already is in and everywhere across the T not believing in reincarnation is a very problematic status and the reason why is because you won't have explanations for 99% of the stuff that's happening to you or to other people which will leave you in a place of either confusion or in a belief that asem is simply vicious Shalom so we're going to start off to kick off with a story it's going to shake you up maybe wake you up a little bit but we're only going to answer this question at the end there is a period of time that Isel went through that all Jews are responsible to remember throughout the entire year and that's the time when we had we had the Jewish Martyrs the sikim that were viciously murdered by the go in horrific vicious ways that anyone that reads the midashim of what happened to them simply starts crying and if you don't start crying you should go to the doct to check maybe you've lost all fluids in your body because when you hear what happened to them you can't help yourself but cry now one of those is Risha was beautiful so beautiful that his skin was shining I don't mean shining like you put some uh makeup on I mean shining like the light shining like if it was dark in the room he walked in his light like the sun that's how beautiful he was he was so beautiful that the daughter of the Caesar when she found out that the Caesar decided to kill him said no no no ABA please he's so beautiful please give it to me she want him like a pet Cesar says no no no no I already swore I'm going to murder every single one of them he's one of them I'm murdering I'm ripping him to Parts go yeah but he's so beautiful please I want to I want to I don't want to lose such beauty he says don't worry don't worry I will uh preserve his Beauty for you he got some vicious doctor to come and start peeling the skin of Rua Elisha while he's alive not while he's dead while he's alive and he's peeling off his face like you take off a mask to make sure not to hurt the skin to make sure that they can put this on a mannequin put it on the wall and still preserve the same Beauty and he's cutting it little by little slowly so it doesn't hurt the skin doesn't cause any damage and throughout all of this time the tadik doesn't say a peep not a scream not a yell nothing as if he's not even touching him as if he's numb and he continues to cut throughout his face and he cuts and he cuts and he cuts it hurts me just telling you the story but he cuts him but the moment he gets to his forehead suddenly screams at the top of his lungs why he got to the place of he got to the place ofin that means he cannot put Onin can't put on F you don't have skin on your head so she start screaming suddenly a butt a Heavenly Voice come from shamim and says R is if you scream one more time I'm going to destroy the world and bring it back to to all of all of the Angels run to they see this sadik being murdered in such a horrible way they start crying to this is the Torah and this is its reward yells at them he says you ask one more question I'm going to destroy the world and bring it back to so now shom asks the question that we're gonna answer at the end of the what is AEM a gangster he's threatening Isel if you if you scream one more time while they're peeling your skin I'm going to destroy the world if you ask one more questions you start asking questions I'm going to destroy the world where is HEM threatening people who wants to volunteer an answer are you still shocked with the story my promise you were going to get an answer and the answer is going to answer a lot of your own questions this will also force you to stay awake the whole SH now the in gives us some interesting stories about some of our some of our grandparents it says some interesting stories about them and something that we can learn from them and it starts talking about first for anyone who heard this name but is not sure who this person is you've probably heard his name inside the story of rabim most Jews have heard the story of rimai where Rish shimai was hiding in a cave for 133 years and in the cave he was learning t with and when he came out of the cave imash had such power that when he saw people not serving hem just because of him being upset he looked at them they went on fire says you're wasting your time with this world why you wasting your time working hasem send him back to the cave would' you come here to destroy my world shim go back to the cave calm down he was there 12 years stay another year him and his son were back in the cave for another year his K was too much for this world now when he finally came back home after years his father-in-law saw him and everyone was celebrating abish is alive W and he tells y was learning for all these years in the cave but they see his body is weak so his father-in-law his wife's father starts you know hugging him and he sees he's fragile see he's fragile oh okay let me uh massage you a little bit make you feel good he starts massaging him and he sees it's painful so he takes off his shirt and he sees that his entire body is full of literally like as if his body was engraved why because to preserve his clothing R Shimon and his son RAB Lazar Dig Dug themselves hole in the ground so they could s s in in the hole and cover themselves with sand the whole day while they're naked why cuz they only had one outfit they didn't have time to bring suitcases so they knew they only had one outfit and they didn't know how long they're going to be in this cave so they figured that for for praying and for Shabbat they can wear clothes the rest of the week they don't have to they could just be you know cover themselves because you're not allowed to be naked cover themselves with sand but all this sand you know sand is how you make glass anyone that hasn't seen it's a very interesting process you take uh sand you put it on a huge bed that goes into a huge gigantic machine the size of several buildings and they heat up the sand to 3,000 degrees and the sand turns into almost like lava and eventually turns into glass it's very interesting in essence how you make glass all of this glass comes from sand that's how you make glass so imagine all of this glass is hitting his body over and over again every day for 13 years it starts engraving into his body so now in saw that his entire body is full of scars and wounds he felt so bad he started crying and one of the tears fell into one of the wounds you know your tears are salty so immediately as the tear hit the W like ah you hurt you know putting salt on the wound is not just an expression so says oh o that I see you like this well to me that I see you like this which in such pain says to him no no woe to you if you didn't see me like this why because the last time you saw me 13 years ago I had a little bit of Torah but not so much now that you see me like this that's a result of all of the and sacrifice that I've made to learn to in the for 13 years so what you if you didn't see me with this much thought that I have like today so this was and was the and the says that one time he walks into a certain town and the town's people run up to him and say they see sadik is here please we need your help you're a from sh you're a miracle from Heaven that you came to our town please help us says what's the problem says we have a plague of rats the rats are eating all of our food all of our vegetation is being eaten by rats what can we do please says oh no problem he went into the middle of the city and commanded all of the rats to come not with any type of cabala simply because of the Torah that he possessed he said rats and mice All of You Are obl to come here suddenly hundreds of thousands of rats and mice show up in the middle of the city and all of them are chirping they're talking rat language anybody here speak rat I'm still learning I haven't learned yet all the rats are talking to each other you know they they're making the little now they're making their their rat language but nobody understands what except oh that that's what's happening he tells the people goes you understand no no we don't speak rat we don't speak rat oh you don't understand because you know what they're telling me why what they telling you they're telling me why they're eating all your food why why they e all our food he says they got permission from Heaven they got permission from to eat all your food why what do we do he says because you don't give if you don't give you don't give 10% of your in come you have no protection on your P since you don't have any protection P they were hungry hasm said eat everything why their money is not protected all the people went to sh please we'll do whatever you want tell the rats in our name we'll listen to whatever you say if you say we give from now one we'll give him says to the rats listen from now on I'm taking charge they're going to give you all have to leave suddenly all of the rats left left the city Story number one a short while later thear says goes to a different city and in that City suddenly a uh very wealthy very wealthy Arab sends people to go find why says what can I do for you he says listen I have a problem I have a very very precious stone that I had that fell on the floor and suddenly at the same time it fell a rat came thought it was food ate it swallowed and ran away I hired all types of people to go get this uh get this rat no one could find it says to him what do I look like you animal Hunter what I look like a uh what do you want for my life goes no no Noom no no you're not an animal Hunter but I know word is known that you are sadik you say something makes it happen not that you're you're your your your uh Pest Control we just know you're a sadik even the Arab land even Mustafa over here knows you're a sadik everybody knows you say something makes it happen so says Ah this is an opportunity for no problem I'll find you follows the same footsteps commands all of the rats all of the mice to come to in the middle of the city they all come and he sees one of them has like a hunchback he says Ah you have the diamond I command you to spit it out command you to spit it out he spits it out Story number two now there's a river called gai and one time had to uh go to to this River go past this River because he was going to a meeting with a bunch of in theed bet and thear says that he got to this River and he saw that the river was rumbling waving and it's chaos you can't just pass it uh you know like you usually do it's making all types of waves so we been says to the angel every river has an angel says to the angel of the river I don't have time to wait for you to stop rumbling just stop right now split for me I got to go to the other side I have a meeting I go to learn T the river says to him he goes what do you want from me I'm doing the will of hem hasem made me a river I'm doing what I'm supposed to do says to him if you don't split right now in the power of Tor that's on my lips I'm going to ask hem to draw you and there's never going to be a dry drop of water Ever In this River again immediately the river split like M the river split the river almost got a heart attack he didn't have a heart though re almost got a heart attack why says I commend you he splits now there's a few T following it's always always have following them you know try to they don't want to bother them so they're like a half a mile away but they saw him cross the river but they're not really sure if the same Miracle is going to hold for them so as they got to the river they can we pass to or is the river going to collapse on us like the Egyptians says to them if you never hurt another Jew in your life then you can pass but if you know yourself that you hurt another Jew don't pass the river is going to collapse on you you're going to die in a spot the same river is also mentioned in a different place in the where people of a town was saying this river is not uh giving them because in those days they used to have the cities right by the river and part of the reason was because all of the vegetation was next to the river and they would wait for the water to overflow and that's how they used to water all the vegetation it wasn't like today we have fountains and all type YP of tubes that you could pretty much have vegetation in the middle of Montana if you really want to even though there's no body of water in those days all of the vegetation was near the coastline why because you waited for a certain time of the year Where the River would overflow and that's how it would water all of your vegetation but the people of the city said this river is not working it's not working it's not overflowing the rabbi came to the river he says how come you're not doing your job say for I'm doing my job I'm being a river they're not doing their job so how come they're not doing their what is what what they're not doing says they're not giving I watered their vegetation they got pad they ate they sold it they ate it they sold it they ate it they sold it but they never gave 10% for Tora so says they don't do their job you don't do your job so Rabbi tells tells the people tell the river tell the river that from now on we'll listen to whatever you say he said give M we'll give M we'll give 20% just please give us some food we're starving and those days you had rabbis like this that mamash had an understanding of how the world is operating talking to different Angels talking to different things now so far we've had four different stories all have one common element but we're not going to get to it yet Story number five very famous sadik mentioned in thear there's an entire section about him in but this is actually coming from thei the same place talks about one time was sitting down with some of his students for Shabbat as they sat down to have a meal as they sat down a Friday night to have a meal they sit down the table one of the legs of the table poops and falls and breaks out of nowhere students say to for the everything okay immediately thinks for a second Ah that's why yeah yeah no no it's a mistake what happened is I borrowed some spices from my neighbor and I didn't give myale off of the spices that I borrowed I didn't give so that's why in sh they're telling me what you don't give don't e either so now I can't give Shabbat can't give Shabbat so what I can do there's a cloud that you can do there's something you can do you can put a certain amount of side without saying this is my just a certain amount of side you saying I'm not going to eat this why because from this section from this portion I'm going to put my after Shabbat but I'm not I'm not calculating exactly how much Mas is now as soon as he put this section aside of the spices the table picked itself up and fix itself the table fix itself why the table heard oh you fixed yourself no problem you don't deserve the punishment anymore the table breaking last story is about another sadik that we have in our Tor one time just to show you how analyzed every single one of their actions one time he was about to eat a sandwich but as he's about to eat something happened and the sandwich fell out of his hand hit the floor so says everything okay everything okay ah yeah that's what happened what happened the axe that I used to cut the bread I borrowed it but since I'm a Coen I'm really supposed to purify everything that I use to eat I have to purify it so what do they tell me in sh they tell me in sh that this axe that I used to cut wasn't pure enough meaning that my bread is not like kosher badat it's okay for you people but for me being a coin it's not good for me what is the common denominator of among all of these stories aside from the fact that they're all very mystical miraculous and completely outside of our own reality that you see in every one of the stories how as soon as something happened instead of saying why me instead of complaining to a instead of making all types of accusations all types of heretical thoughts and sayings like many people do today the immediately did something that we are all obligated to do at least once a day called self- accounting immediately the understood that nothing happens for no reason everything that happens in your life must have a reason there's not a hair on your head that is not aware of there's not a single blink that you have ever made or will ever make that is not aware of a blink of an eye one eye not even both one eye you blink one time but who already knew about it before you did it he knew about it before you even thought about it meaning that the second something happens in your life the second you get a flat tire the second your wife forgets to put salt in the food the second your wife decides to throw a shoe and ends up hitting you in the head the second stuff like that happens already knew about it it's not happening for no reason the second you wake up at 2:30 in the morning and it's because one of your kids is C crying because something hurts but you have no idea why cuz he doesn't know how to speak English yet cuz he's 6 months he doesn't know how to speak it he's six months old but you can't really blame him because he's six months and you didn't know how to speak e either at six months but he's crying he doesn't want to let you go to sleep and you're really not allowed to get upset but you're really really upset inside because you want to go to sleep guess what you know who decided that you're not going to sleep that night it wasn't a six-month-old for six-month old he's just crying because that's his job for the day H him for the job next week I'll hire something else but today he hired him today he's getting paid for it why to torture you why has a reason of why that nail that pierced your tire but not the 5,000 other tires that went over it in the last 10 minutes on the highway way it only pierced your tire you know why it pierced your tire and not the other 5,000 cars because it was hired for you it's like a sniper sniper doesn't just go and shoot everyone sniper it goes in a special Mission he goes for one guy he's not going after everybody he's going after one guy he sits there Waits two weeks on top of the mountain eating bars two weeks he makes sure he doesn't move why cuz he's waiting for that one guy to cross so he could shoot him one guy not the whole Army two weeks he's waiting there that nail was there for three years tens of thousands of cars have passed that nail tens of thousands of cars will pass that nail but it's waiting patiently waiting patiently waiting patiently for what for you for you one day to go on the way to a really really important important appointment not a not important appointment if was not a PO employment it's different nail those are the F nail those are like the nails that like unemployed Nails this nail has a good job he's waiting for a long time he's waiting for you for that million dollar contract that's the nail that's the nail he's waiting for you like the best sniper in history they're making a movie about him now that's how good he is at his job he's in like nail Hollywood because of what he did to you you know why who hired him what do you think when your wife makes soup and she forgot to put salt do you really think it's your wife that forgot to put salt or it's a decided today you're not going to have salt now you could blame your wife as much as you want poor lady it's not even our fault you're lucky she even made you something it's not her fault that you have something against you it's not her you you are the you are the fault not her decided yes there's salt in the world everyone in the world is going to get salt except you why you have something happened in you have a deficit somewhere you somebody salt meaning every single thing every single move that you make in your life already knows that it's going to happen he's the one that's in control control of it he's the one that decides that the nail is going to pierce your tire he's the one that decides that your wife is going to forget to put salt even though you bought three pounds of salt you bought enough salt to to feed a civilization but she forgot to use it why daa because of you or better yet she put instead of sugar she put salt why for you special made for you the whole soup is ruin for you why because you did something is trying to get your attention meaning anytime something happens in your life don't look at your wife don't look at your husband don't look at your kids don't look at your boss don't even look at your customer and say why are you doing this to me look in the mirror and say why am I doing this to myself what did I do to bring my situation to this point look at sh and ask what are you trying to tell me not why you doing this to me as if you're a victim what are you trying to tell me what's the message what's the message what's the meaning behind the nail the meaning behind the salt the meaning behind the customer giving me the finger instead of giving you business what's the meaning behind it why is this happening to me now if a person simply changes that just makes that minor adjustment in their life almost all of their problems are solved and the reason why is because you already know the source of all of your problems you are the cause of it is the source of it meaning he's the one that's delivering him to you but notom to hurt you to get your attention now the had some of the biggest that we've had in the last 100 years with of the now one of them is the rabi ponovo gaman and the of of the um the rovic the one that built the shovi asked him one time how did you meet the because when he met the even though was a giant in Tor he was really unknown at the time he was unknown at the time he was so unknown at the time that he had to sell his own books he would go in a carriage guys it's not a bus stop stop going in and out in or out stay bus stops go in and out Stay or Leave would go from place to place with a little carriage carrying his books carrying his books finally arrives at a k after all this days of traveling and he wants to sell some of the books what's this about what do you want to sell a book for oh it's about all of these books about we have nothing else to do with your life just write about it's about it's very very important well it's free no it's for sale nah go go go and make fun of them you want us to buy this all these books where we have nothing to do with ourselves write something meaningful write or something write the mid you write about who cares about in those days they disrespect the how much you have to go to just to sell his books people see his picture in every single Corner in the Jewish world today but at the time he was alive you know how much he had to go to so he was an unknown but one day the rovic heard that there is a sadik in the in a city that's giving blessings to whoever comes he says why not why not go get a blessing from some sadik who's this sik said his name is the I don't know who he is okay let me go he goes to the house and as he gets to the house he hears a grown man hysterical crying like crying like someone died not the type of crying like when you pray you cry to Hashem once in a while it's like nothing nothing like it's like half a crying it's almost like you're trying to like try out for like a movie you're not really crying though no crying like somebody died so he's like wow I arrived the morning or something arrived somebody died here so he said I mean it says in says it's better to be what's a good friend a friend is someone that comes to someone at the time of need where when is it when somebody dies not at a time of Celebration so he comes inside knocks on the door and he sees the ran he says I'm sorry I'm sorry what happened everything okay he hears the crying she everybody hears the crying the deaf people can hear the crying there's some grown man crying hysterically in this house she says to but there's someone crying oh she says no no that's okay that's just my husband he he always cries your husband why is your husband crying cuz now some woman came to us and she said she can't have kids so he's crying to to have mercy says wait what is this your daughter came to you and she said she can't have uh kids that's why your husband's crying his daughter is can't have kids goes no no it's not our daughter go what your cousin your his niece she goes no no we don't know her we never met her before today pich was amazed he says if someone can cry for some strange Jew they've never met in their life that much the itself must live here the itself must be here this is the place of the world where the has to rest why someone cares about that much that they're crying about a stranger not being able to have a baby that's why you're crying that much has to be here why because only cries like this for his children that's how he met now years later RI ponich met galinski gin Shalom was a huge big Rabbi his life story if you read it it makes you feel like you're living in a different planet than this person how much he was willing to do for the T how much he did for the T it's unbelievable most people can't even spell Siberia he learned tah in Siberia with the rest of his rest of his Yesa while they're slaves people go to Siberia they don't come out they die over there him and the rest of the people froma were learning M we're learning M while being SL slaves and that's how they would heat up themselves by learning T galinski met with ponich one time and tells in the story tells in his bio he says one time the rovic says to me you know I was a real span when I was a kid was a real span I was real rude had nerve go why what he saying you have ner why cu no when I first met the say a story says when I first met the you know he told me you want to join I'm starting a new yes starting a new for because he was a and was also says I'm gonna start just for so we can start learning all of the of what to do for the bet mikdash because the mashia is coming mashia is coming hasem is going to build the BET m so he's going to ask us to be theim we have to know what to do you know what to do so says I was such a you know what I answered him said why you worried all I'm gonna do I'm gonna watch you what you're doing and I'll do the same thing he says I was such aan for a second at my young stupid age what I think I thought that if is going to build the mikdash I'm going to be in the same place in the same vicinity as the like I actually have such Merit to be in the same world as the that's how much of aan I was this is coming from one of the saying about his teacher the I thought I was going to be I thought I was going to be next to him as a Coen we're for sure we're going to be even if we're not quaning we think we're going to be quing you don't even know how to spell coin we're like no no I already have the eight garments already I have the eight garments I'm good got the eight garments I got it the costume store now how did the get to become the secret is got to become the in the same exact strategy as became is the same exact strategy and plan as Raba became Raba same identical plan and strategy is how did he become the power of T you wake up in the morning you pray to and then you fulfill everything he says now say says for he has a mid he has a character trait they say he says and he does we see in how did create the world did he hire construction companies did he get a title from the city did he try to get a discount maybe to get some uh some guys to work for him without papers how did create the world he spoke and the world came to being he said some words and those words created something something materialized from those worlds that's what he say who says something something happens if we act like a where Hashem says and we do if the blessed one says and we do what happens the same one that decrees fulfills if you do what the the one that said and created something you do what he says is the one that makes the decrees will fulfill whatever you want when a person takes on this character trait of Simply blindly following the word of hem no questions asked don't ask why did Hashem ask me to pray three times a day pray three times a day don't ask why did hasem make me fast on and on Yip even though in reality I'm not the one to destroyed the BET mdash was a bunch of other people don't ask those questions just fast don't ask why says if you don't learn T in the morning at night you're destroying the world you're destroying the world you're part of the destruction of the world just study meaning said something whether it makes sense to you or not is irrelevant if you simply and innocently follow completely and fulfill everything he says you'll be given the power where will fulfill your decrees whatever they are it's that simple but that difficult also he writes in his book at the beginning of his book that the hardest character trait to have to implement is now you would think wait a minute to be have emit in you seems hard but surely it's not as hard as overcoming anger surely it's not as hard as overcoming lustrous desires surely it's not as hard as overcoming stinginess or arrogance or whatever other character flaw we all have why is today why is he say that is the most difficult one new book just published in English recently why is made the most difficult simply put if you look at it anger stuff to overcome I can tell you myself I was born angry I was already upset they took me out I was really comfortable inside had food without having to be worried about had a Mal teaching me some good stuff what are you bothering me for took me out I didn't want to come here I was upset already when I was born I was crying and everything but anger tough to overcome some people are so stingy they're so stingy they start crying when they have to give they start crying they do a tanit I asked one guy you know who's the most stingy person you know he says I know one guy he's so stingy you're not going to believe us say how stingy he says to me he says I told him he asked me what do I have to do if I made this sin so ra says to him you have to either give staka or fast 84 times says okay I'll fast 84 times cu no but staka is much cheaper you don't have to fast 84 times just give some St some money goes no no no I'll fast 84 times he says but you have the money you're rich you're a rich guy has houses and everything goes says listen I'll fast I'm not giving any money I'll fast a thousand times I'm not giving any money that's how cheap some people are so cheap they rather kill themselves says they rather kill themselves than give money give they love their money more than they love their life says it stinginess if somebody has that sickness of being stingy it's hard to overcome it what about if somebody's arrogant thinks he's special she thinks who she is she thinks she's Mr Mrs Queen she thinks she's uh something you start telling her listen hates people that are arrogant it's hard for her to change why she looks in the mirror and from her perspective she is more beautiful than everybody else from her perspective she is smarter than everybody else so why should she feel less than what she is it's hard for her to adjust it's hard for him to adjust rki says the following all of those things that are hard to adjust the anger the stinginess the arrogance all that stuff it's not anywhere near as heart is overcoming the Obstacle of why because anger you don't have all the time you're not angry all day you have different times during the day where you're going to be anger you're on the highway somebody cut you off okay you're gonna get angry you're not angry just by default driving you're angry if somebody cuts you off or if you're running late you're angry if somebody talks back to you but not all the time if they're giving you a bunch of compliment you're not angry if they're criticizing you you're angry which means that throughout the whole day you have 24 hours you're not angry the entire 24 hours that five minutes of anger May ruin 24 hours May ruin your whole day but you're not actually angry the whole day if you're arrogant you don't actually have a reason to be arrogant the whole day when you're in the bathroom no one's arrogant in the bathroom everyone feels uncomfortable in the bathroom everyone feels uncomfortable cuz somebody somebody comes into the bath what's that smell and you know it's you how comfortable how arrogant are you now you're not arrogant you realize that all this disgusting that's coming from you how arrogant you're going to be that's the reality what arrogant stinginess no one's asking you for money all the time you're only stingy when someone's asking you pay for something so as long as nobody ask you for to pay for anything you're you're happi as can be on the other [Music] hand is all the time it must be your default all the time why because 99% truth and 1% lie equals 100% lie when you have mid emit that means you have to have the emit with everything that you do 100% of the time when you're criticizing even if you're criticizing another person your mid by default is criticizing yourself because you know that you are also a criminal when you're saying something to someone you're also saying it to yourself when you're looking at something you're looking at yourself when you're reading something you're applying it to yourself the character trait of a by default you're constantly constantly measuring everything versus 100% Emit and if you make a shortcut even once automatically that mid collapses like a tower meaning that in order to have this mid it has to literally be the driving force behind everything that you do sometimes you're going to see people do CH and it looks like they're strong it looks like all of a sudden they're zealous for hem you see them you figure wow this is Pinas you see how you like this is the pinhas version female version of pinhas see them they're so zealous for hem wow amazing wow amazing but then one day suddenly you see everything start to deflate out of nowhere and when you start investigating you see what happened you're always going to see something it happens constantly they were zealous they were passionate they were on fire until something hit a nerve until till it got home they're all about keeping Shabbat why cuz they were keeping Shabbat they're all about cuz they keep they're all about you know all generosity cuz they like to be generous they're all about you know B because they they're B they like they build AET they're all about all these different things one day the rabbi mentioned a sh a woman that's not modest is a she makes the public sin and there's no way that those people that sin because of her are going to be able to be in G and she's not going to be with them there's no way that is going to put all those poor people that looked at her and made sins and now are in gay rotting in Fire and she's going to be in geden sitting over there relaxing no way Rabbi says this to woman says Ah this how you talk about me wait a minute but you are P you are a you said everything is good you like the rabbi you shabbat this that oh now you cross the line Rabbi now you cross the line why it hit home same thing happens with guys Shabbat they like they like this they like that they like everything they like they like they like they like they like one day they go ah what wasting seed okay okay whoa 5 Seconds into the sh they almost get the up at their house they're so scared all of a sudden they don't answer the rabbi's phone calls all of a sudden the emails are unanswered all of a sudden they don't want to invite him to the community anymore all of a sudden even a text message they won't return not even a nothing why no you said I'm a sinner I didn't say you're a sin hm said you're a sinner but about what no you're you're crazy saying wasting seed is the biggest sin in the Tor what are you talk about I keep Shabbat I give you know how many I do good for you do a lot ofv but uh if you waste seed all those M go under garbage I didn't say that hasm said it no no no you're too stringent for me ah it hit home it hit home everything you were doing good you felt powerful but the second it hit home the second you heard your own personal M the second you heard something that affects you all of a sudden the whole thing deflates into nothing why because at the moment of truth the M Adit that the person had was really non-existent he only had the Adit as long as he didn't have to push himself too far she only liked the truth as long as the truth didn't affect her that much as long as you didn't tell me what to do I'll listen to whatever you say just don't tell me what to do whatever you say I'll do just don't tell me anything though I agree with everything you say as long as it doesn't apply to me imagine you have a employee comes to you says uh hey uh boss how much you gonna pay me you tell them this and this go for no problem listen boss I'll do whatever you want just don't tell me anything though anything you want me to do I'll do just don't say anything though that's the condition what kind of employee is this woman says listen I'll marry you just don't tell me what to do so if I don't feel like coming home for two weeks don't say anything if I feel like having a boyfriend or two you better not say a word you ready get married or no I'll even smile for the camera no that's a double yes double yes sometimes we act like this to we say we love you will do anything you say just don't say anything to me I nobody in the world loves you like me I love you more than you love yourself just don't tell me anything I love your entire Tor as long as it doesn't apply to me I'll publicize your Tor in every single B just not my house I'll make sure everybody else fulfills your to except me except me you're you're the king of the world except me that's us why because the is the most difficult one you have because if you want to be someone that's someone that's real someone that has it has to always be on fire there's no neutral within it there's no let me pass through let this go by I'll close my eyes pretend like it's not happening everything has to have a strategy of how to deal with it now if a person wants to implement such a Mida they also have to prepare to go to war because the Satan doesn't like that mid so much so constantly put a challenge in front of you put an to go in front of you and he'll do everything possible to break you because this is something that if you could implement this one particular character trait you could literally have the ability to fulfill the entire Torah almost with ease you could literally get to a point where Hashem says and you do why not because you agree with it not because you understand it not even because you could rationalize your way into it simply because you know that you are the servant he is the master that's your role that's it that's what you're in the world to do you're in the world to fulfill his role so if today's job is to get a ticket okay so we'll get a ticket today if today's job is to work really extra hard but then at the end everything you worked for gets deleted okay so today's work today that's my job to work really really hard for nothing to work out if today's job is to look at the book for three and a half hours but understand absolutely nothing that's your job today perfect you did your job perfect yeah but I didn't feel any good about it who said you have to feel good where does it say in promises you they you're going to feel good when a person understands his role or her role in the world everything changes but it's not easy now the in says that if a person has a saf he's about to he wants to eat something but he doesn't really know what it is mean he doesn't know what blessing it is not because he doesn't study if he if he doesn't study shouldn't be allowed to eat either says someone that doesn't learn T should not be allowed to eat meat why the cow is better than him cow's fulfilling the will of hem he's not the cow's better than him he has no right to kill the cow there's no right to kill the cow cow's doing the will of hem you're not learning to you're not will fulfilling the will of hem but if you're fulfilling the will of hem you're allowed to eat the cow as long as it's kosher as long as it's kosher you're allowed to eat it now what if there's something you want to eat but you you forgot the or better yet you're not really sure if this is it like you know sometimes there's cereal there cereal that's mese and something CH now you don't have internet you're in someplace there's no internet access you don't have your books and you're not really sure what this is now you're starving what do you do says you should say if he says is fulfilled his obligation yeah what if it's m okay it's m but you still fulfilled your obligation with the blessing of sha as long as he at least says the blessing of sha he fulfilled his obligation not that you should do it by default everything you see is shaal the bread is shaal pizza shaal you know sh everything sh no meaning you have to learn you have to learn what's what Shak what's not but let's say you got into some type of bump you forgot you're not really sure whether it's Shak or something else okay you could say Shak so the um say this is a lesson we should also apply to our life when a person doesn't know what's going on in their life all of a sudden their stock account that they used to be proud of they're embarrassed to even mention because it went down so much their house that looks so beautiful is on foreclosure the card that everyone's been giving them a compliment about it's about to be repossessed in two weeks their wife that everybody come says wow you're such a lucky guy she's about to leave him our husband that everybody says wow you have a really special husband has some type of disease the kids that look so cute they've been failing every single class she doesn't know what is going on in her life he doesn't know what's going on in his life you have no idea why everything is seems to be going wrong say say what does it mean everything is from him everything is from him including my problems everything is from him you have problems it's him you have good things it's him everything is AEM now we have still to answer the question in the story ofish wases if he was in living in our world today we would simply think he's a Mal we wouldn't think he's a human being he was so beautiful it's something that's not it's beyond our imagination the most beautiful person on Earth today looks like a Mony with hair on his face or her face next to him that's how beautiful he was and I'm just talking about physically we talk about his and the Tora that he possessed might as well be a that this Mal this KES this RAB it's in our Tor mentioned by name meaning that he was able to revive the Dead with hisa suffers a horrible horrific death we don't even want our enemies to suffer where the go literally peel his skin Inch by Inch by Inch by Inch from his face all the way to his toes and he doesn't say a peep not a ow not a ouch not a nothing until they get to the place of hising because he realizes that he cannot fulfilled theah anymore and he screams at the top of his lungs and instead of what we would think would happen is that hasem would simply take his and just relieve him of his This Disaster what doesm do Hashem rebukes him hasem rebukes him what does HM say to him hm says to RAB isma RAB Ismael if you scream one more time I'm going to destroy this world and bring it back to to the come crying to and says what what does it mean when cry what does it mean when cry anybody here ever see on the horizon there's red you ever see the Horizon and the sun becomes red you know what that is that's a reflection of gay that's what it is when you see red on the horizon that means that the sun is getting closer and closer to Gom why why is Gom red that's the tears of fire the tears and sweat of fire of the Angels says the angels that are really close to they're so scared of a that they sweat fire and that's what fills up G these angels come to this is Torah and this is its reward you're killing says to them and rebukes him too he says you say one more word you ask me one more question I'm going to destroy the world and bring it back to to so now we have this question again the question of asked many years ago but also answered he says what is AEM really threatening Hashem is not a gangsterem doesn't need to ask anybody permission if he wants to destroy the world doesn't ask you for permission if he knows you can withstand the test he doesn't need to ask you he knows so what is Hashem really teaching us here gives an analogy he says there was once a king and this King wanted to make a suit that nobody else in the world has so he got special type of gold and he got gold that's very very soft so you could adjust it and he made it he had Specialists turn it into little wires and threads and he got all of this gold wires and he gave it to the best tailor in the world he told him listen I want you to make me a suit a suit made of gold but not a suit where I look like a robot and I can't move it's all boxy I want it to feel like a suit soft but from gold so I need the best tailor in the world to do it the tayor says your wish is my command no problem and he I just need a lot of time to do it he goes you have as much time as you want and he starts working on it and working on it and working on it six months later he's not finished with the job but the king wants to see what's going on he comes to the tailor and he sees that half the suit is made already and it's something unbelievable but he still has a question in the back of his mind maybe took a little gold to himself so he tells the Taylor you know you know word on the street is you took some gold for yourself what do you have to defend yourself so tell Taylor tells him says your highness truth is there's nothing I can tell you that'll defend me I can't prove to you I didn't steal but do you remember do you remember how many wies you gave me he said yeah says do you remember exactly the size of the wires he said yeah says do you remember exact weight of all those wires of gold he said yeah he said you remember the carrots too he said absolutely he says well you have two options one you could simply weigh all the gold and see that it's the same weight that you gave me but if you want to see exactly that didn't take even a grain of gold that you gave me I'll have to take the entire suit apart and show you that every single strand that you give gave me is here tells tells the Angels tells us in order for me to show you what I'm doing and that it makes sense I can do it but I'll have to take apart the entire world and bring it back all the way to its beginning to show you every single thing that's ever happened that led to this point and every single thing that will happen at the end of the world that will happen as a result of this point so yes I can show you why I'm doing this but I'll have to destroy the world doing that or you can just trust me and see that everything is there see that in the end everybody else was okay in the end this is a Learning lesson for us when you have all of the problems in the world simply taking your life by storm you're confused of why you failed a test you're confused why you can't find a you're confused why hasem took a bunch of money from you you're confused why the doctor called you with an unusual cryptic message telling you you have to show up you know by tomorrow you're confused why you're sick you're confused why your husband didn't say I love you this morning you're confused why your kids forgot how to spell IMA you're confused about a bunch of stuff that's going on in your life you're confused is telling us I can show you why everything is happening but I'll have to take your entire life apart and bring you up to shamim first or you can just trust me and keep moving forward this is one of the most valuable lessons that a person can learn in this world we're all going to have problems we're all going to have obstacles we're all going to have different types of difficulties all of us the older you are the more Mountains you would have had to climb in order to survive you're never going to see an old man saying I had an easy life nobody does only people that say they have an easy life is sixy olds they haven't hit life yet old people will tell you I had to climb mountains to arrive at where I am now a person needs to understand that if you want to attain something valuable you want to attain something good in life you're going to have to work really hard for it but that means you have to overcome a lot of obstacles now the obstacles in this world everyone understands everyone understands that if you want to make money you have to work hard usually if you want to find a good spouse you also have to work hard you want to keep that spouse you have to work hard everything you have it's good you have to work hard for everyone understands it but for some reason everyone has a hard time understanding that GED you also have to work hard for for some reason people think ganeden is given for free it's for a discount you could just do whatever you want in this world but you still get the g m was spitting blood for 40 years but you can go there for discounts it's time we apply the same logic we apply to business to marriage to life in general also to the Tor it's not easy it's not easy it's not supposed to be easy to earn geden but it can be easier easier if we understand why we're doing all of it why you're not going to dress IM modestly why you're not going to drive on Shabbat why you're going to keep kosher why this and why that if you understand why you're doing all of it it does become easier doesn't become easy just simply becomes easier when you understand that your problems will exist with or without the Torah you already understand that they both have a common source the problems come whether you're religious or not only difference is when you're religious you also have a solution when you're not you don't have a solution to your problems the key is to understand that who gave us an instruction set to follow if we follow it carefully our life become much much easier than they than they are right now if your life is difficult that simply means that there are certain parts of the instructions that you're not following carefully enough it's time to adjust it's time to fix sometimes will give you a test sometimes will give you such a test that you're going to want to quit now we're going to finish off with a very very important story about the climatic point of everyone's test every one of us at one point wanted to quit it was something that we that we were doing that was really meaningful whether it was keeping to or a marriage or a job or some type of race of some kind whatever it is all of us have had points in our life where we wanted to give up some of us gave up some of us didn't abah ainu had a point where by all rational perspectives he had all the reasons in the world to give up he had a situation where his nephew was kidnapped by really powerful kings that destroyed a bunch of other powerful Kings meaning if you weren't sure that they were really powerful it was confirmed they were really powerful after they destroyed a bunch of other powerful Kings and he himself had didn't have any kinghood any Kingdom or anything but he decided that he's going to go to war with them with 318 soldiers say Rashi over there says 318 really is gatria forel elel the word elel is 318 but theot really means it's soldiers so say wait a minute whether it's elzar or it's 318 soldiers still what's the 318 all about why 318 why not 320 why not 400 nice round number why not 5,000 like why 318 out of all numbers in the world there's no way that 318 is just some random number so K had a guy one time come to him and tell him that he's giving up why is he giving up he survived the Holocaust but the rest of his family died rest of his family was was killed in Cold Blood and he just really just gave up on life he has no point to live he's waiting to die can't blame the guy guy sees wife and kids get murdered in Cold Blood by these evil Nazis can't tell him oh he's wrong unless you're the K and you give him proof from the that he's wrong so K says you're not allowed to give up what me I'm not allowed to give up because you're not allowed to give up why am I not allowed to give up he says that giving up is something that will be the opposite of what Abu did abah ainu went with 318 soldiers because 318 is one more than 317 3177 spells the word y y means give up so one more than giving up is 318 says what is this like says there was one time a businessman told his wife listen honey here's the money from me my money and a bunch of money from all of my customers go to the uh terminal where they were doing all the trade and go buy us take all this money and buy us this pay for the shipment that we just got in that's how they used to make money used to do one deal a year pay for the whole year so she took a bunch of money that's her husband's money and all of our all of his customers money and she went to the terminal over there to go pay for this uh shipment by the time she arrived at the place look looking money's gone money's gone doesn't know what to do she has no idea what to do she's like if I tell my husband he's gonna kill me what am I gonna do poor lady's crying hysterical she cried so much she passed out they woke her up she passed out again they woke her up she passed out again they woke her up she passed that again it got to a point was somebody passes out three times three times in a row it's life risk says they took her to one of theim of the generation and he says to her not to worry just make a make a poster put it in the area and say whoever found this B bag full of money come see the rabbi come see one of thean I believe middle of the night somebody knocks at the rabbi's house he opens the door he sees a average Jew doesn't look too good doesn't look he's not wearing some three-piece suit doesn't look very rich he says yeah listen uh I saw the post I see that uh you posted over there and uh yeah I found the money but I learned a little bit of Torah and I know the is when it comes to when it comes to you know finding lost items if you live in a city that's majority of it isim majority of it isim you don't have to return something that's lost why cuz most likely it belongs to one of the G if it doesn't have identification if there's no license name on it you don't have a picture of who's you know the the right indications of who actually owns this thing I don't have to return it I could just simply assume that it belongs to one of the go and I don't have an obligation to return the go now he says I have no money in the bank no food in the fridge and no hope of getting food or money and I have nine kids to feed I have nine kids to feed so unless you can show me a source in the Tor that I have to return this money I'm going to keep it the Rabbi says there is a source in the to that you have to return it what's the source he says that Al you mentioned you don't have to return is only if the balab if the owner of the money gave up on it you don't have to return he's not looking for it anymore if he's not looking for anymore you have no no obligation to return it to him anymore he says right he says who's the babite of the money a wife or a husband he says well when the husband signs the kba he takes ownership everything that belongs to the wife belongs to the husband so in essence the husband is really the balab he says exactly since the husband is the balab is the B bite of the money the husband doesn't know that the money is lost at this point so surely didn't give up on the money you have an obligation to return the money because he never gave up he never gave up on the money why you have no why you have to return it because the balab didn't give up the woman that gave up on the money that she is passing out losing her mind she gave up on it she's hysterical but she's not the balab K says to the person that was so sad because of all the disasters that happened to him says you have no right to lose hope you're not the balabit you're not the babite of your own life you have no right to give up on your own life who's the balabit of your life the reason why AB ainu sent 38 18 soldiers to go fight is because he wanted to show that we have no right to give up Y is 37 abah ainu sent one more than 317 giving up is 3177 that's the value of the word giving up y wanted to show my effort my effort is just one more one more than Giving Up So despite all of our problems that we have spite of all the problems that we've had and despite of all the problems that we will have in the future we have no right whatsoever to ever give up but how do you do it how do you not give up listen to the first hour and a half of this year again understand that a is the one that gave you the problem he's also the one that can give you a solution sometimes the solution is pretty easy and he can give it to you a week after the problem a minute after the problem a day after the problem or even five years after a problem but sometimes the problem that you have in your life is so extraordinary there's no way that he can give you the solution to it or show you why he's doing it while you're still alive because in order to do that he'll literally have to destroy the whole world he'll have to show you everything that happened before you came to this world and everything that will happen after you're in this world some times we have such extraordinary issues that happen in our life that they're so unusual you have no idea why did hasem take this 5-year-old kid what did he do why did hasem take this sadik that's only 60 years old why did hasem take this Rabbi why did hasem take this that some things that we can't explain don't ask any questions don't ask why because sometimes the answer is Hashem says a lot of things happen before a lot of things are going to happen after as a result of this this is part of my grand plan and the only way that you could know it is if I destroy the whole world is if I could show you the whole thing do you really want him to destroy the whole world no one wants him to destroy world as long as they're normal meaning that no one wants AEM to get us back to the star we want to continue moving forward so what do we do we have to have faith in the that he knows what he's doing that he's not uh short chain ing us that he's obviously has a plan for all of us even though sometimes it doesn't make sense to us we're the servants he is the master as long as we remember that our life makes a whole lot more sense our problems are much easier to deal with even though sometimes the problems that you have are they seem like they weigh a ton I promise you you'll see a better day these are some of the things you have to remind yourself regularly this is one of those shim you want to listen to parts of it or the whole thing over and over again just simply to remind yourself that there's somebody that's behind the wheel because if you don't remind yourself of such things you don't get constantly on these things it's very easy to get depressed in the world waking up in the morning sometimes is depressing because of so many problems people have if I show you people the problems that people send me every single day you're GNA feel a million times better about your life I don't even know I don't care what your life is now I know pretty much almost all of you here I know a little bit about every one of your lives and I promise you you have the best life I know if I showed you any one of the people that sends me 150 messages a day you're gonna say what a great life I'm already in ganed hem no need for ganed I'm already here I'm already here no need for geden wait a minute what no geden you yesterday you were crying to me please hasem take me no no hm I was I was just kidding I was just kidding Hashem I was just kidding I'm already in ganed Hashem I just saw your own ruven's text message I'm already in GED I'm already in GED I'm already GED I show you the text message how many people are crying what problems they have every day a I tell you I'm telling you it's one of the biggest gifts is to help people it's one of the biggest gifts because on one end you could try to help people according to the Tora you follow tell people follow advice follow says it's fantastic on another hand it also show you what kind of life you have despite all your problems there's always worse it's always worse you see the problems people have the amount of suffering people go through and it's not even a matter of like the how big it is it's how far they think they are from the promised land sometimes the problem is small sometimes the problem itself is small but in their mind it's enormous the guy's 22 23 years old and he feels alone he was suicidal why he can't find a shid he thinks finding a shid it's like it's never going to happen he's giving up he's he doesn't realize he's only 22 years old he doesn't realize it's not a big deal okay you're 22 you're a little puppy still what did you stop giving diapers last year what's the big deal no but in his mind you can't say that in his mind he feels like he's 92 about to hit 100 next week it's the end of his life in his mind it's huge in his mind it's the biggest problem in the world he's ready to give up so you have to treat it accordingly same thing with people that are older same people people are younger everybody it's not necessarily that everybody has much bigger problems it's that you see that whatever problem they have is only measured based on the amount of and that they have the less and the bigger the problem is in their eyes if they have no a little mouse running in their house collecting a few pieces of cheese once in a while is like go Magog why is him doing this to me I don't understand I paid a million and a half dollars for this house why is the mouse doing here why didn't he go to the next door neighbor she's a anyway he thinks a little mouse is goou mag in his house why cuz he has no he has no nothing he doesn't realize the mouse has to eat also so today he's eating in your house if you maybe you won't have a mou so at least uh you can get him to come to you without eating your cheese but the point is is that it's all based on if a person understands that there is a master behind all of our problems there's a that loves us but also one that judges us also one that rebukes us also one that could potentially punish us if a person understands all of these different things life becomes easier not easy but easier because you know what's going on you at least understand the rules to the game you can understand how to navigate okay today it's my turn now okay next week it's his turn next week it's it's our turn and so on and so for you understand the rules of the game at least but if you just simply don't follow anything you just wing it every day your whole life is going to be one big mess as soon as something doesn't work according to your plan you could easily fall into some major depression start crying in the middle of the street in the middle of the day in the office everyone's really serious except one girl she's crying but nobody knows why somebody died no your boyfriend broke up with you no uh your mom your mom yelled at you no why you crying in the middle of the day it's 3:00 in the afternoon you're 26 years old what's wrong with you I don't know but I'm crying like sometimes people cry for no reason because they're so depressed they have no idea what's going on this happened I see this I used to have an office people just cry for no reason because they have no clue what's going on if you follow K you at least know the rules you'll know the rules you'll understand what's going on you won't lose it you won't lose it this is the gift this is when they say life is a gift this is that gift it's only a gift if you know it's a gift it's only a gift if you know the rules if you don't know the rules it's not a gift to go climb mountains it's actually really hard it's not a gift to go see sightseeing it's a gift to know the rules to life so you can actually know how to enjoy it you two just started a marriage you started something that is bigger than you if you know the rules to the marriage from day one and you both play by the same rules your entire life is going to be full of one blessing after another bigger than any blessing you can possibly imagine better than any marriage you even know of because simply you're both on the same page and that's what I wish for you to know the rules to follow them and to always have the same ones all of us will have the same rules as each as our spouses all of us will teach each other the same rules all of us will play by those rules and than for those rules because it's those rules that save us from G but not only that make us live a life that really is more like ganeden we just don't realize it thank you very much for listening to me tolerating me and laughing with me a little bit amen amen [Music] the [Music] [Applause] [Music]