The Price of Good Kids - JEWISH INTIMACY (22)

the Ran's Jewish intimacy teachings has transformed countless families already but the question is what do we learned so far and where we're going first the ran is telling us take that inner animal and change it exchange it prepare it turn it into an angel okay great now that I did I mean I'm starting to ask myself why why did I do all of this for what am I going to get out of it now of course there's the spiritual preparation the mental prep preparation the physical preparation I mean am I going to get anything out of this because that evil inclination Within Me Is Telling Me let that animal out I think it's more fun tonight we're going to talk about those fruits the fruits that you end up producing as a result of Jewish intimacy according to the Torah on the other hand the fruits you don't want to produce and most extraordinary are the last two stories real life sto stories not just from the gar which you're also going to hear but also from Life in recent Generations two of the most extraordinary stories you ever going to hear stories that will literally make you want to have Jewish intimacy your whole life even more so it's going to want to make you publicize Jewish intimacy everywhere because of what's on the line and how much you can benefit enjoy it apply it share it and don't forget the whole purpose of everything is to be holy we are back on our Tuesday night series regarding Jewish intimacy the Holiness of Jewish intimacy uh We've uh this is lecture number 22 in the series anyone that uh hasn't watched any of the ones before or hasn't really watched the whole series before I certainly recommend that you go to the beginning and watch all of them you could still watch the one tonight without watching the ones before but you're certainly going to be uh find yourself clueless about certain things if you don't watch the ones from before or at the very least you'll uh be missing on a lot of information uh tonight's Sho will be for the for raban Sarah B anat raban Leana bat SAR uh aav and the for all of is and all the rightous nodes all of the people that support us donate on our websites and uh send uh their resources their times their skill sets very very much appreciated for everybody that's behind us that's helping us continue to do all the wonderful things that uh the organization is doing all the different in different languages uh so uh with that said we have obviously lots of stuff going on there's a huge shipment of books uhem that is uh on the way right now to uh Israel and the United States my new book uh 25,000 copies are on the way uh and anyone that wants to be a partner in that uh free distribution of 25,000 copies of the book uh in Israel in the United States is uh more than welcome to donate on our website you can go to BH Torah .org or to our regular website be.org uh or you can donate on Facebook under the right pressing the button whatever you want to do if you really want to donate you'll find a way there's plenty of things that plenty of ways that uh people can reach us uh aside from that we also have rert F's new book uh that's actually being printed right now uh the uh this book is uh certainly a huge project undertaking that took several years to put together uh and uh one of the things that uh we're doing now we're printing the Hebrew copy 25,000 copies of that uh and uh we're looking uh actually to get this book translated we already started bashem uh we have about 20% of it translated to English but it's very very costly and very time consuming uh to uh to translate high level of work so anyone that wants to be a partner uh in this book could uh reach us uh or you could simply donate on the website uh we're hoping to have this uh English version of it uh done within uh you know uh probably the next uh let's say uh 6 to 12 months and hopefully this time next year or sooner have it already distributed everywhere BM it'll be the first book by RAB FR in English so that's coming soon BM uh so there's a lot of other things to do but let's just get to it the uh series we have hav talked about it in a long time Jewish intimacy certainly a uh uh a Hot Topic uh out there when people are trying to do good uh and trying to run away from all of the upside down world uh that we live in where I think there's more and more people are waking up to realize that uh the world is becoming more and more vile more and more disgusting the things that people simply ignored and just you know let it pass or simply didn't care and sometimes even befriended are uh you know knocking at everybody's doorsteps everybody's uh everybody's house and they don't like it when it's coming to their kids kindergarten and their kids schools and uh everyone knows what I'm talking about this whole lgtbq uh uh B uh virus that's everywhere uh and certainly this is something that uh uh uh you know people are uh dealing with in one way in some ways people are dealing with it uh by just simply uh ignoring it and there's others that are realizing there's no way we can ignore it the truth is uh when it comes to Jewish intimacy uh one of the things that the ramban has taught us is that we are a world of difference a world of difference between Jewish intimacy that is in accordance to the Torah versus whatever the world calls their uh relationships uh whether they call it intimacy or they call it the uh sexual or they call it whatever they want to call it anyone that has watched even one complete lecture from this particular series uh knows that there is literally a world of difference between what Jewish intimacy is and what the world uh is in essence uh uh practicing now the the beauty of it is apparent the uh the pleasure of it is only something you could enjoy uh if you actually do it because pleasure is not something that I can teach you I can tell you that it's certainly much more pleasurable I can tell you that it's certainly better for you I can tell you that it certainly has its uh a huge amount of both physical spiritual emotional psychological rewards that are beyond the scope of this uh of this lecture but there are certain things that you simply have to see or feel in order to believe so the evil inclination that is within each and every single one of us is automatically coming to every single person that's watching a series and saying why should I do this okay so it sounds good but I kind of feel good it looks good but I'm okay like why do I need to invest all this extra time to prepare myself spiritually to prepare myself physically to prepare myself psychologically just to perform the same act I've been doing you know for most of my life like why do I need preparation why can't I just do everything now of course we've talked about the benefits uh you know we've talked about the fact that it's to to you know for a person to achieve this they have to remove their inner animal and in essence turn it into an angel uh and you know and this actually does end up being much more pleasurable much more enjoyable and certainly much more rewarding but the evil inclination within each person is say yeah but it's so hard or it sounds so hard so the first thing I can tell you is a reminder just because you can't do everything that the ramban is teaching us doesn't mean you shouldn't do anything meaning that it's not a Take It All or Nothing type of approach no one can do all of it on day one or day two or even day 300 everyone has to grow in an increment so you have to start somewhere if that means that you know it's a uh uh not eating right before it if that means a uh specific time of the day if that means uh frequency or time of the day if that means a uh um obviously uh preparing yourself spiritually praying before all you know there's many things that we've discussed we've also discussed medical aspects or benefits uh for jewi intimacy or or from you know from the Jewish sages where people that have uh different uh medical problems performing or or or lasting uh in the previous uh couple of lectures we've discussed those as well different vitamins different things that a person can do but at the end of it all the naysayer either within us or around us is still going to argue and debate and say who does this why should I do this why should I invest so much time into changing the intimacy in my home why should I do this in such an in such a fashion where literally you have to prepare for the intimacy that's going to happen later in the week in the beginning of the week you may have to prepare it at the beginning of the month you have to prepare for it for months like why why does a person even need to do all of this why does a person need to remove or exchange and transform their inner animal into an angel what is the benefit of all of this so if the evil inclination tells you this the first response is that well it's really not that hard if I don't look at the whole picture and just look at the parts that I can handle that's the first thing so again like I said if even if you can't do everything it doesn't mean you don't have to do anything so there are certain things that are easier than others time of the day you know food you know certain things that are relatively easy that a person could apply to their life and and certainly get benefits but the other thing that a person needs to know is that you get what you pay for not just the statement that everybody likes to uh uh say uh but in essence the the mishna in uh says the reward is based on the difficulty meaning that the more difficult a spiritual task is the the more difficult the more you you uh try harder in your servitude of Hashem in your cleaving to Hashem in your yearning for hem praying to Hashem learning about Hashem the more difficult that endeavor is that journey is for you the more reward you're going going to get not just in heaven but in even in this world so if a person wants good fruits the difficulty has to increase so although the evil inclination is going to tell you it's simply too difficult to change what I've been doing what I feel is normal here tonight we're going to talk about the fruits we're going to talk about not just what kind of fruits you can get but actually remind you that you're actually doing it anyway meaning you're already investing into your fruits that you've already produced an endless amount and it behooves you to invest in them before they even come into the world because if you invest in preparation you you won't have to spend to rescue now the ramban has told us in the previous lectures that he brings the he brings the from page 5B that says that one of the sages is teaching the son of is teaching in the name of that whoever places his bed from north to south will have male children as the verse in Psalm 17:14 says and with your concealed Treasures you will fill their belly they will be seed with sons now elaborates on this is that and says that it's not only that if you position your bed from north to south which again will remind you a little bit about what that actually means uh because there is two different opinions uh or two different comments in essence about it uh but ra adds adds an ex an extraordinary uh addition to this and he says not only will you be seed with sons but in addition the additional benefit of having your bed positioned from north to south will be that the wife will not miscarry the wife will not miscarry as it is written in Genesis 25:24 and his wife uh uh and with your concealed treasure you will fill their belly that's the verse in in Psalms but also it says uh when her term to Bear grew full then behold there were twins in her womb this is in Genesis 25:24 meaning that the are teaching us that this positioning of the bed from north to south is not just going to benefit you that you'll actually have sons that could be T Torah Scholars but also it there is an actual health benefit there is a protection for the woman and any woman that has gone through a miscarriage personally knows exactly what I'm talking about a man that had his wife go to a miscarriage knows exactly what I'm talking about it's although it happens although it's unfortunately at times even common uh to certain women it's more common than others it's nonetheless difficult as difficult can be and some even uh get traumatized by it uh traumatized to the point where they start fearing even having more kids or trying to have any more kids the some of the great sages that we had uh dealt with these difficulties also you had ABA one of the great sages in the previous generation he was the K of Rya uh he had one son uh but that's not because uh they didn't want more is is raban had 13 miscarriages 13 miscarriages so just imagine the difficulty but of course it's everyone has what AEM gives them for a specific reason this doesn't mean that it's any less difficult this doesn't mean that it's a uh something that a person uh could simply ignore but the point being is is that anyone that has had a miscarriage knows already exactly that if I can eliminate even the thought of of a miscarriage being a possibility if I could not have a miscarriage and this is the price to pay to have Jewish Intimacy in accordance to what the sages are teaching that's already worth it even more like that's already enough of a that's already enough of a reward to get in order to do everything that we've talked about already for the last 20 lectures because a woman that understands what her body goes through until it finally has a baby and then you know the the the let down whether it's on the second month or the sixth month or the third month it doesn't make a difference and of course anyone that has had kids is a normal human being that uh has uh sees what's happening in the world how they're literally murdering millions of babies around the world each and every single year just because they haven't uh uh you know uh exited the mother's uh the mother's body yet and they think that it's just you know what it's no big deal it's just a appala they call it in Hebrew appala it's because if it fell like it fell by itself like they don't tell you the real story as we showed in our tunait movie uh that's on our Channel for free to watch uh the what what really an abortion is and how uh gruesome and awful it is uh literally uh it's taking a child and and cutting it to a million pieces that's really what it is uh now and anyone that says no it's not a child it's still in the body it's 100% a child once it's 40 days it's 100% a child it has it has the body parts it has the eyes it has the soul it has everything now of course many people that do this fall into the Trap of the Satan that convinces them to have abortions don't realize what they're actually doing uh this doesn't make it any less of murder but nonetheless uh when a person uh uh has had a miscarriage uh hears that somebody else wants to have an abortion literally they they they they they want to vomit because they what how could you be possibly even thinking that way you know how many women are are are literally willing to give their lung just to have a kid and you're just killing it so this of course Again part of the journey towards Jewish intimacy is to sanctify our brains to remove all of the filth that Society has taught us that has turned us into the animals we've become we're not supposed to be animals so when a person realizes that the sages are teaching us that one of the benefits that you will get from attaining Jewish in the Holiness of Jewish intimacy is that your wife will be protected from miscarriages now of course this doesn't mean that it's impossible to have a miscarriage as we just gave you an example one of the sages in the previous generation his wife had 13 miscarriages and there are others that do as well why because there's also a sh there a decree from Heaven at times for certain righteous people to uh be the ones that fix certain Souls from the previous world without bringing them to the world and this is a teaching of its own but the point being is is that the sages are teaching us and the rambam is bringing it that there is a health benefit there is a health benefit to doing this now what does it really mean as a reminder for you what does it really mean positioning your bed from uh North uh uh north to south the ran unlike Rashi he come ments on it or clarifies it from a medicinal perspective Rashi says this is really more of a mystical teaching where if your bed is literally positioned from north to south this will give you certain type of spiritual protection certain types of uh positioning for the the couple that has significance that could yield children boys could yield righteous people run by completely disagrees with this and says no no this has nothing to do with the mystical aspect of it this is really more of the medicinal aspect of it the health aspect of it why and he says because it's well known that severe cold comes from the north and severe heat comes from the south and the sages that had true wisdom knew that extremes are not good nor are they TR Trust worthy rather a person needs to aim for towards moderation just like King Solomon taught in Ecclesiastes chapter 7: 16- 17 don't be overly righteous overly wise or or be a fool meaning don't be overly too much of certain things because extremes are not good so since a couple that positions their their uh um puts themselves in a situation where their body's temperature uh are extreme at times this is not good for a lot of reasons if the male is too hot this either because he just ate an hour or two or less before intimacy this means that his body inside is heating up as part of the digestion that heating up within his body is also heating up everything else including his seed that seed that will go into his wife will be a warm seed and thereby will be a putrid ugly so in so many words almost like a deformed or injured seed that will produce deformed or injured fruits not physically deformed we're not talking about just because he ate you know a hamburger 5 minutes before intimacy therefore his his kids W won't have arms or legs no we're not talking about it we're talking about a spiritual aspect of it the kid will be born with certain things that you prefer not to have whether it's being a uh uh uh obnoxious uh slow learner uh person that has a uh spiritual difficulties you know it simply doesn't connect to the Torah doesn't connect to the truth atheistic uh Tendencies LGBT QB type of Tendencies all types of things that you simply rather not have to deal with these types of things are more likely to come from those types of seeds that are coming purely from a place of warmth now same concept obviously applies with the woman but it's not to the same extent because obviously the seed is in the man so the ramban so far taught us different things that a person needs to do to not only prepare themselves spiritually but also prepare themselves physically and he told us don't eat right before it you know you have to wait several hours so your body is no longer digesting this could literally be 6 hours after you've completed eating uh you know a uh if that's not possible then obviously the more the the better it should be at a certain time of the day middle of the night is best because that's usually when it's the environment is more of a uh h on a cooler side rather than the warmer side the point being is is that the rambana is telling us that this bed being north to south has nothing to do with actual physical bed but rather the physical and spiritual temperature of the couple and he says that if a person is born from a cold drop because the intimate Act was in a very cold environment he's always going to be a naive fool but if the kid was born from a heated drop either because it's physically hot or because the act itself is purely for lust and has nothing to do with a uh uh a Shem or any Mitzvah it's purely animalistic that's where the South also is relating to so this heated drop will always create the irritable impatient person that's easy to anger and that's why the parents have to prepare themselves both physically and spiritually before intimacy now the ramban continues and says our sages have said that his wife will not miscarry have has an absolute principle what does it mean has an absolute principle that this is not just writing on the sand this is an engravement on the wall that this teaching entered our talmud is not just like oh this is a nice suggestion try it out good advice you know worst case scenario you don't like the app you try something else no no this is engravement on the wall if the sages put this into the talud that this North and South matter is going to protect the wife from miscarrying this is an absolute principle and here in the the the ramban says I will open for you Gates of light you will know what our sages have said in the tractate of Y page 82b regarding a pregnant woman who has smelled cooked food during yum Kip and wanted to eat it when it's forbidden to eat because we have to fast where rados told him to whisper to hard that today's yum Kip and she accepted the suggestion and refrained and therefore Rabbi said about her a verse from Jeremiah 1 ver5 behold before you were formed I knew you this is what Hashem said to Jeremiah and this is the secret of placing of the beds between the North and South while there was also another woman that was pregnant her friend that at another time also smelled cooked food and I'll explain all of this in detail after I finish her friend also smelled cooked food while she was pregnant and wanted to eat on yum Kip apparently this was a sometime later and they whisper they did the same thing with her they whispered in her ear that today's but she didn't accept it and continued Desiring to eat this is what is meant by the direction of the South regarding her it's cited in uh in Psalm 58:4 the wicked are a strange already from the womb it's known that the reason they miscarry is that the womb has become excited and goes to one of the extremes whether it be from the AVID for food or from lust for warmth or for cold for if the womb is moderate she will never miscarry just as the balance of the scales in the eye of judgment will not tilt to either side so the raban is telling us this teaching of North and South is not a just a passive suggestion that only some people no no this is set into stone foundation of Foundations if you implement it if if you apply it to your life you certainly will benefit and if you ignore it don't cry for the fruits that you bring because you won't be happy with the results now some sages think some sages didn't agree with the ramban not as far as what he said but that he's teaching it that he's teaching it you know people think today you know if you hear you know certain Sage's name whether it's the ramban or the ramban or Rashi or abaka or any of the great sages from thousands of years ago hundreds of years ago or even ones that you know lived Among Us decades ago you hear big rabbis names and you think automatically that you know when they said something everybody listened when they said something everybody accepted and people don't realize how many wars they had to go through in order to bring the truth to the world and sometimes those wars were with their own peers and friends and you know sometimes even students family members and in fact many of the Great sages fought more Wars than people can imagine in order to bring the truth to the world and the ramban is no different everyone is familiar with the famous debate that the ramban had against Christianity in Barcelona but what some people are not familiar with is that the debate that he had about teaching this in the seph called in s 45 he brings this up and he brings up what the be wrote in the uh the bed bite that he wrote and you read the 1542 that uh quotes that Raba which was a family member I believe it was the nephew of the ramban is quoted saying you'll be blessed this is in sarcasm you'll be blessed for increasing the seed of amalik you'll be blessed for increasing the seed of amalik why he wasn't unhappy about the teaching that is going to help non-jews have more kids now this seph continues and says the rash on the other hand the rashba wasn't of the same opinion as R the rashba was actually of the opinion of the ramban where he says in San 120 that the Pak is not like they you're not supposed to help the Gentiles have kids opposite the paskins that a Jewish doctor is permitted to help the Gentiles with medicine or whatever they need medically in order to become pregnant meaning if there's a non-jewish woman that has difficulty getting pregnant and she needs all types of help the Jewish doctor is permitted to help her no problem whether it's uh you know pills or whatever the uh uh you know the technology they have of that generation even though she's not Jewish there's no problem to help her just like the Jewish mid servant is allowed to help deliver the non-jewish babies no problem as we learned from the ramban he says we where do where rashba says Where do we get this from where do we have the permission to just say that you know Jews can help non-jews we learn it from the ran the ramban that's what he pined in fact Shalom and is the same way in fact he adds to it and he says that a Jewish do is allowed to violate Shabbat in order to save the life of a non-jew whether it's to help a non-jew have uh you know deliver a baby or there has to be a surgery meaning just like a Jewish doctor is allowed to uh and has to violate Shabbat in order to save a Jewish life the same applies for the nju why for the sake of peace for the sake of Peace because if the Jewish doctors will only help the Jews this this could create a problem worldwide that could put everybody at risk so where did this all uh uh uh start the is bringing it obviously from before he brings many many one of them is the rashba the rash himself brings uh his Source from the ramban but this does not mean that everybody agrees was on the other side we don't Basin like R in this case but there was again a different opinion so this again gives us a little bit tidbit of of understanding that fighting for the truth doesn't mean that everybody's clapping for you the whole way there and throwing flowers on you no no sometimes fighting for the truth is literally a fight with some of the most precious people around you righteous people good people so when the ramban tells us that what I'm about to tell you is an absolute principle that I'm going to open the gates of light for you with this little bit of information that means that this is a big deal this is a big deal you so we've already learned from the sages that you have this protection you have this protection if you work on yourself develop yourself in order to achieve Holiness in your intimacy where do we see this work why is it all worth it to do all of this all of this extra effort why did the ran fight for this what do we need all of this for he says in page 82b it's a famous story a righteous woman who her whole life observed she was pregnant now on yum everyone has to fast whether you're pregnant or not pregnant young or old you have to fast unless it puts your life at risk if the life of somebody's at risk then they have to uh uh you know they they cannot fast but generally speaking most people it's you know that have even health issues whether it be uh pregnancy or it be other health matters usually it's a potential risk not an actual risk like a f a definite risk so a pregnant woman has to fast even on yum the problem is that sometimes pregnant women smell a certain smell which wakes up a uncontrollable urge to eat now this urge is not from the woman but rather from the baby now what do you do if this happens on Yip so the Tells two stories said there was a certain pregnant woman who smelled food as she was going to the synagogue on the way somebody cooked something that's smell went in the air whether it was Gentiles that were cooking some non kosher food cuz they're allowed to eat non koser food there's no need for a gentile to eat kosher food they were eating pig they were eating shrimp they were eating uh uh cow that make a difference that creates a certain smell that smell impacted that baby after his mother smelled it so much so that the baby started moving around started creating problems and they had to come to the rabi who RI the biggest Rabbi of the generation one of the biggest rabbis that ever lived he's the one that put down the mishna on paper where until him it was all orally transmitted orally since the time of mosenu when he saw that the world is starting to deteriorate to the point where people are forgetting parts of the Torah he said we have to put this we have permission from the Tor to protect the Torah where even though until now we weren't allowed to write it we have permission from Hashem that in order to protect the Tor we have to uh uh we have to make certain uh changes to some of the rules which the rule was that you're not allowed to write the oral tah for the protection of the tah but since that protection was no longer valid since that that protection was causing its destruction he instituted that they have to put the oral t on paper now they went to him he said rebi we have a woman in our community she just smelled something and the baby is moving and it's obviously a big risk why because anyone that is uh familiar with pregnancy that if the baby smells something and that urge is created if you don't feed that baby that food it can actually be a life risk both for the baby and the mother where the baby could actually if he doesn't get the food or she doesn't get the food that it's urging for as a result of that smell or that taste that was uh that happened that created that whole uh uh reaction that baby can fall and die meaning could be a miscarriage so we take these matters very seriously it really is a life risk so they went to rebi rebi please tell us what do we do and he says to them go to her and Whisper tell her husband or the maid servant or one of the people to come close to her and whisper in her ear it's yum not supposed to eat today it's fast day this is the secret the whisper in her ear it's not for her it's for the baby the Rabbi says the people do they went to the woman she is obviously not feeling so good with what's happening since this urge came they whisper in her ear it jumpy po it's a fast day not supposed to eat and all of a sudden these very simple words calmed down the baby and the woman returned back to her good health they reported everything to rebi and rebi said Ah that's good news on him it's written this baby the verse in Jeremiah where hasem said about Jeremiah in chapter 1 verse5 before I formed you from the womb I knew you meaning before you left the womb I already made you holy this baby that's in her is a holy baby if he responded to that he responded to that Torah instructions by calming himself down that's a holy baby and that's exactly what happened that baby was born grew up and became that's mentioned in every other page in thean just like rabie said the and so as the ramban says there was also another story where another pregnant woman had the same situation happened to her different time perhaps even you know different food somebody was cooking on yum Kip or cooked already and the smell was in the air a time that everybody's forbidden to eat and she smells it and the baby starts craving this food uncontrollably they run to tells them the same exact instructions of what rab did he says to them tell this you know whisper to this woman it's juny po it's a fast day now eat hopefully this will come the baby down they go they do the same exact thing they whisper the baby doesn't calm down as if nothing happened the Rabbi says if the baby didn't calm down feed her whatever she needs to eat whatever she craves her feed her whatever she gra for you why because it's a life R you even allowed to feed something that's not koser if that's what has that's that's what you there's nothing you can do it's a life risk if you don't give this woman what the baby is craving one or both of them could die feed her what she wants and that's what they did now although the life was saved when they reported this to said there's a verse written about such babies in Psalm chapter 58:4 it says the wicked are aranged from the womb this baby is reacting this way it's a wicked baby what does it mean he a wicked baby he didn't do anything yet meaning the way that this baby was made was through a lustful act with no spirituality as a priority meaning that he was as if a baby was created with the position of the South the influence of the South heat and therefore that physicality from the parents had an impact on the seed on the flesh that was created on the fruit that was created that's also lustful that's also materialistic that's also connected to physicality even in the womb and that's why just like the parents could not [Applause] controls the baby canot control himself either says the wicked are aranged from the womb this baby's going to have certain deficiencies that are tended towards the acting of the wicked and as the rabbi said that's exactly what ended up happening this baby unlike the baby that was in the previous story that ended up being one of the righteous sages ofan this baby was a person named Shai the orderer of produce what does it mean the order of produce this shabai grew up was a dishonest businessman who would do what's called price manipulation on the produce by making sure that he has control over certain produce and make the market think that there is a lacking there's a shortage in order to manipulate the prices and make them make him more money he would do things in order to benefit financially even though that meant hurting the public and dishonesty in Judaism is one of the most despicable things in the eyes of hasem in fact thebat page 31a says as soon as a person dies and goes up to the bedine of Heaven There are questions that are asked the first question out of all the questions that a person has asked is not how did you act in sure how much Torah you learned uh were you generous no no no the first question out of all the questions that a person has asked at the Judgment of Heaven is did you conduct your business with a recognition of the Creator watching you with emuna did you conduct your business honestly why don't they ask him did you go to sh did you pray really good because in sh everybody could pretend to be honest everybody could pretend to be righteous but in business the way you are in business is the way you really are if you are honest in business then you are an honest person if you're not honest in business then you're a liar even if you're generous and give staka and you give charity and give your time if you're dishonest in business that means you're generous with other people's stuff you're not really generous it's like the generosity of the thieves where they're pretending to be generous because they're giving stolen money away that's not generosity so says this baby that was made with the influence of the South with the influence of lust and lust only ended up becoming a wicked person that was a dishonest person in business that manipulated markets of produce so we see from here that the ran is bringing us not just alic proofs not just proofs from the gar or talmud but actual real life proofs of the results of what happens here if a person listens or ignores and he says that this secret of placing the bed between a north and south M that middle ground is what led the first baby to come down while the bed being in a direction of the South meaning being influenced by lust and lust only is what caused the second baby to ignore the words of the people that whispering in his Mo mother's ear because it's known that the reason why women miscarry is because the womb becomes excited and goes onto one of the extremes whether it's because the misbalance came from smell of food or desire for lust or extreme cold or extreme heat these are all bad for the womb and today the Orthodox Jewish World takes these very seriously a woman that's pregnant needs to be very careful with how she behaves where she goes in order not to go to extremes extreme weather changes extreme changes are not good for the baby they're not good for the war for the womb just like a scale the scale that has the MIM on both sides the scale has to be even has to be balanced the womb has to be balanced now the ramban continues and says therefore when it occurred that she whom they whisper to and she did not accept for she disturbed the balance from the midpoint and the fetus was about to miscarry if she did not eat of the food that she smelled but then you're going to say yeah but the pious one meaning the other woman and her baby that ended up being called the pious baby is what he ended up being he also smelled the food and he also reacted even though he calm down still why what's the explanation for that he says if you ask also the pi smell the food know that even though she smelled it she would return to the midpoint of equilibrium meaning that because the way that the baby was made was through Holiness not just through a desire for lust not through ignoring the different principles that the ramban has been teaching us about Jewish Holiness but rather by trying to apply as many of them as possible because there's still a body there's still a lust there's still a desire no one is a angel so certainly that flesh that's produced that baby that's produced will still have desires so when it smells something it's still going to you know move around and want want this food but the difference is because the higher power that produced that baby was from the north from spirituality there was more spirituality that was the influence the motivator behind the reproduction of that baby that's going to help that baby CM down when you tell it hey it's not a good time to eat it's junky pool but if he was an evil one and she smelled the food she will not be able to return to the midpoint of equilibrium for she has turned to it her animalistic nature and she could not be satisfied with the middle way meaning that even if she herself was righteous but the ACT between her and her husband was purely animalistic purely fust purely for pleasure purely for physicality no consideration whatsoever to fulfilling a Mitzvah no consideration whatsoever towards uh God the nothing just like everybody that unfortunately in the world tries to give themselves a fix if that was the case even if she's righteous otherwise that baby wouldn't have been able to control [Applause] itself and therefore that be would have had to eat also and therefore understand says the ramban and consider it well the time that a man should have marital Union and thus you will Merit Sons worthy of being masterful deciders of the law see here the ran is telling you take all of this into account apply as much of it as you can to your life and you will be rewarded not just in heaven for the mitzvah for all the good that you're doing no no you're actually be rewarded in this world you be rewarded in this world beyond your imagination why you rewarded in this world beyond your imagination because you'll have good kids now what does that mean to have good kids what does it mean to have good kids you see human nature unfortunately does not understand good when people ask you why isn't Heaven discussed in the toah theah but punishment is why why because a person that is not already on a good path does not know what good is so if you described good to him he simply wouldn't know what to do with it on the other hand everyone knows suffering everyone knows bad so if you describe bad to a person that's on a good path or on a bad path you describe to them disease you describe to them hunger you describe to them death you describe to them all types of suffering you this everybody understands that everyone understands it so to say to people listen you'll have good kids every you have good kids I like my kids my kids are good yeah now today there is a fear by both religious and non-religious alike that the end of the world is coming whether it be a war between the US and Russia or war with the other countries or all of the countries everyone's scared of War there are many many different types of news outlets that make that their primary topic of discussion people are constantly afraid that the world is going to literally go into such a uh massive war Financial digital uh uh uh a uh um physical actual you know uh bombs and things of that nature like people are just like scared to death many times they're causing themselves to come scared to death now this is not a foreign topic to Judaism in fact this is a topic that is very widely discussed in the Torah in the oral tah the written tah the prophet Zacharia in chapter 14 in fact gives details of how the last war is going to be and he describes a biochemical War nuclear war but also biochemical he says the two thirds of the world will be annihilated initially and the last Third only some Will Survive some of the sages that comment on it say that this whole thing that he's describing is called go Magog and it'll last only 8 minutes the prophet yel Ezekiel in chapter 38 does the same thing but with different words discusses the end of the world discusses the last war the war of goou Magog horrible horrific description of what's going to happen in the end now when it was written we didn't have the bombs and the nuclear weapons and missiles and airplanes of today get catapults of rocks you didn't even have bullets how could you end the world in eight minutes with rocks of course this is all Prophecy of the end of days and the end of days is going to have a war called go Magog we've discussed this in the past and we're not going to go into the details of the end of the world but we are going to go into the reality that the end of the world does not look pretty according to anybody's opinion no one thinks that the last war will be a pretty fun War anyone that has read some history books that are not biased towards some type of mental cases philosophy but rather real history books rather real history and sometimes better yet even see real documentaries of what happened during the Holocaust How They Carried the bodies as if they're carrying fruits because there was so many of them death was in the air anyone that saw this read this doesn't look at War like people look at video games anymore anyone that reads about the wars of the past well before the Holocaust what happened during the times of the bet mikdash the first one the second one knows that they were even worse than the Holocaust by a factor of a 100 knows that war there's nothing pretty about it now as ugly as war is Page 7B says this in the name of raban the very same ran that ended up being the righteous sadik the baby grew up years later brings the and says that he taught for 40 years till 120 years old 40 years he was in business 40 years he learned to 40 years he taught T this our Tor is on his shoulders he says the following in the name of Rim which his ilula is coming up in L 20 days from now says a degenerate child in a person's home is more painful and severe than the future war of goou Magog where is this coming from Ezekiel chap 38 and 39 talks about go Magog talks about the war before mssiah arrives talks about the extraordinary suffering that will happen at that time and yet ran says that a degenerate child a bad kid is even worse more painful to people than this war will be where did he learn it from King David chapter 3 verse number one in t in Psalms a song of DAV as he fled from Shalom sonom King Davis the righteous among the righteous sings sings to with bitter tears as he runs away from his own son AB Shalom that's trying to kill him the wayward child that he had and immediately after that says ran it's written that David said in regards to his degenerate son AB Shalom AEM how many are my tormentors many rise up against me however concerning the war of go Magog it's written in Psalm 2:1 also King David why do the people gather and the Nations talk in vain whereas here is not written how many are my tormentors meaning that when David describes the suffering and Agony that he has from a Shalom he says it's even worse than the suffering and Agony that people are going to feel from the war of Goog so here we see that this precious baby that turned into ran tells us Jewish intimacy is not a joke the fruits you will create it's not just about them being good fruits amazing fruits delicious fruits cute fruits Smart Ones precious ones lovable ones righteous ones not just that I can assure you that no matter how religious you are you don't want that rotten fruit you don't want that rotten fruit but because the pain that the parents have from rotten fruits is the worst pain imaginable because those kids they don't stop torturing the parents it just simply grows over time and it gets worse over time now for some of us everything I just said is enough enough to motivate us enough to inspire us to at the very least try try to make the intimacy in our households more holy more connected to God more connected to the Mitzvah certainly Ju Just as pleasurable but require more effort but for some of us they need a little bit more so this last part is simply a reminder of the obvious which is whether you choose to follow what the ramban is saying and exert a little bit more effort in your intimacy to make it holy and not just pure lust in order to produce more Holiness in the world more connection to God and needless to say better fruits or you're going to listen to the evil inclination that says listen it's too hard it's too this it's too that what do you need all this for even though it sounds good even though it looks good it's just too much the real it is you will be exerting that effort on your kids anyway why not exert it when it matters most before they come what do we do for our kids it's not a question it's what don't we do for our kids there was a famous Rabbi RAB m Mo Sher was one of the pioneers of American Judaism he was the head of aat is for nearly four decades and he built American Judaism and to what it is today at a time where you barely could find a Jewish school you could barely find a Jewish kindergarten you could barely find kosher stores and all of a sudden this Rabbi mosha Sher comes along and he's making Partnerships with different government members of the people in America different mayors different Governors has conversations with Congress gets funding gets permission gets all types of things to put Judaism on the map in a very favorable way here in America and he did it at a time where people literally couldn't believe that he was able to do one thing needless to say Decades of it and one day after he succeeded with all of these massive massive relationships and undertakings to build American Judaism the the the infrastructure of American Judaism Orthodoxy is what I'm referring to some rabbis came to him and said how did you do it how did you do it I mean it was a time that literally you couldn't even talk to anyone in government that you wanted to open a synagogue if you wanted to do it you just had to do it but make sure nobody found out you couldn't convince people to give any type of funding to open to Yeshiva people didn't want to go to Yeshiva you couldn't even convince people to to keep Shabbat in some cases how did you build all of this during that time it says it all started with the woman Widow and her baby how everyone's paying attention woman a baby did you help this woman he says listen I'll tell you the story says many years ago there was a widow from religious Jewish woman that cleaned houses in order to provide for herself and her baby and she worked very very hard but in those days there's just so much you can make cleaning houses I don't believe that much has changed today but she said she would make $3 per month and that was enough for her and her baby to live now one day she wakes up in the morning and she sees that her precious child suddenly has become red all over his body and infections similar to abscesses are coming out of his skin bursting scary like one of the plagues of Egypt is happening here she obviously she is dumbfounded here what's happening she calls her neighbor to see this her our neighbor knows a few things about medicine and says listen this is not a this is this is not a small cold this is not uh chickenpox this is something serious you need to go to an expert there's an expert he lives several blocks away he does house calls in those days they still used to do that only problem is he's very expensive he takes $10 per house call says this lady that makes $3 a month cleaning houses doesn't hesitate gets the address of this doctor that charges $10 per house visit and runs towards him she finally arrives where he is and she tells the doctor you need to help my son please come the doctor says fine you have the money she goes don't worry I'll pay you just come you need to save my son the doctor was also a religious Jew got up came to the woman's house he sees this sick baby and he says to her your baby is in very big danger I'm very familiar with this disease that he has and he has a very very rare disease that I happen to know very well the problem is that the medicine for this disease is only made by one doctor that's anywhere near here and he's nearly an hour away from here and he's not cheap he charges $45 for this medicine and if if you don't give your son the medicine in the next 6 hours I'm afraid your son is going to die he says to the woman from the looks of your house you don't have the $45 now I'm willing to give up the 10 that you owe me cuz I know you probably don't even have it and I hope and pray that you somehow succeed in coming up with the money to pay this doctor because he's not Jewish so he's not going to be so kind to you especially not with a $45 medicine that he's the only one that has the woman says to him please it doesn't matter just just just give me the script give me the script tell me the address I'm going there without hesitation the doctor gives her the script graciously leaves without charging other $10 and she calculates I need to get there as soon as possible she opens a purse to see how much money she has only to find a few pennies that's not even enough to get there by a bus she has to go to this place by walking but she realized she only has 6 hours what can she do she has to run she has to go as fast as possible but that's not going to be enough so she realizes she has to go through a section of town that no Jew dares going through at that time a place called Harlem where in those days was the criminal uh criminal location poverty criminality horror today it's developed lot of money has been put into it lot of good has come out of it but needless to say in those days Harlem wasn't even 10% of what it is today going through Harlem in those days was 100% a life risk but this religious Jewish woman didn't hesitate when she realized that she can get to this doctor within 2 hours if she goes through Harlem that's exactly what she did and miraculously she went through the entire Harlem without anybody stopping her she got to this doctor and she runs and she's frantic and she gives him the prescript and tells him my son my son my son the doctor okay okay lady just tell me he sees oh this is what you want problem you have $45 she said I don't have $45 my son is sick I need the medicine he says I'm sorry lady I'm not charity the medicine is expensive I'm sorry about your son but if you don't have the money I cannot give it to you she say please just give it to me I need it for my son she said I'm sorry lady I don't I'm not going to give it to you I can't do it say there anything else that I can do maybe you need cleaning I can clean and this non-jewish doctor says or pharmacist says oh what that's a great idea you know what my cleaning lady just quit so I do need somebody to clean but I mean how much could you possibly generate I mean you'd have to work for me twice a week for 2 and A2 years for free just to pay for this medicine you agree to do such a thing without hesitating the woman says absolutely give me a contract I'll sign it just give me the medicine the pharmacist last doctor makes the contract puts her name $45 the equivalent of 2 and 1/2 years of cleaning twice a week that she's committing to in return for this medicine he goes on the back makes the medicine and he gives her a bottle he says here you go quickly without hesitating she starts running back home time's running out we only have 3 and 1 half hours left she starts running and again she goes through Harlem but this time somebody does stop her as she gets through it in one point she's about to turn a corner and some drunk Thug attacks her jumps on her says give me all your money I need to get some more alcohol she say I don't have he grabs her purse opens it up he sees there's nothing there angry throws it on the floor and then he sees this woman has a bottle with liquid in it some red liquid immediately he grabs it from her opens it up and starts drinking within a few seconds he spits it at her and out of anger from the disgust he throws it right next to her and it smashes all over the floor all over her dress the 45ar medicine she just committed two and a half years of her life is gone our baby is about to die she doesn't have time to cry to feel bad for herself she quickly breaks away from this drunk disgusting excuse of a human being that attacked her and runs back to the pharmacist arrives at the pharmacist door complete mess of everything that happened she say I need the medicine it broke listen you need to just give it to me he said what what happened she said no time just give me the medicine she goes you what do you mean you don't have money she said I'll give you another two and 1/2 years just give me the agreement I'll give you another two and a half years I need the medicine it's 3 hours left this pharmacist doesn't mind getting 5 years worth of cleaning for free he says no problem I'll go make you the medicine he goes makes the medicine right before he gives it to her he start smelling goes what is that smell I don't know just give me the medicine he goes no no no there's something something smells here what is it she has no idea what he wants from her he starts smelling in her and then he sees on her dress it's a huge stain in red says what is that she says that's the medicine the guy threw it on the floor and he spit it at me and it stained my dress the pharmacist as soon as he got close to it smelled it his face turned white and he fell back on his chair completely baffled at what he just realized the woman has no idea what he wants what's wrong all she knows is she wants this medicine that he's not giving her yet the pharmacist then says to her God must love you she says okay great can I have the medicine now says no you don't you don't understand God must love you because For the first time in my entire career I made a mistake I took the wrong bottle and gave it to you as a medicine for your son had your son drunk a sip of that medicine you would have died instantly and you could be assured that that Thug that attacked you he's dead already I've never made such a mistake like this and I'm willing to rip up the contracts for 5 years and even give you this medicine for free just don't tell anybody what happened no problem give me the medicine she gets the medicine the Agreements are ripped and she runs back to the house in time within that 6 hours to give her kid the medicine he drinks it he's cured he lives now the rabbis that are listening to this exciting story they're amazed they're excited but what does it have to do with a is world what does it have to do with anything can make a good movie perhaps even a good clip out of this year but what does it have to do with anything says to them M you know that woman I learned everything I know from her because she was my mother and I was that baby my mother didn't care that she didn't have the money to pay the doctor $10 didn't stop her from going there my mother didn't think that it's dangerous to go through Harlem just to go find this medicine that she can't even afford my mother didn't think twice about asking the doctor to give her the 45 dollar medicine even if that means she has to work for free for the next two and a half years and she didn't care that somebody just attacked her and tried to kill her and let that stop her from going back to get the medicine again after the original medicine was broken my mother didn't have time to celebrate that the miracle upon miracle that happened where the poison was destroyed and the original medicine was given she just cared about getting that medicine do you know why my mother didn't care about all of those outside factors full of hurdles and difficulties and impossibilities because life was on the line her baby's life was on the line there's no time to consider the difficulties there's no time to consider the obstacles there's no time to consider oh this hurts and that's hard and this is and this is not and why doesn't anyone help me and why does this happen to me there's simply no time for that the only thing there is time for is to exert as much effort as we can based on the belief in the Creator that gave us this problem they gave us this difficulty they gave us this test there's no need to be upset because this difficulty is also the way will of hem as much as the success and the blessing is the will of Hashem my mother told me that story when I was a boy and I lived my whole life with that in mind before every meeting before opening any Yeshiva before any agreement before asking for anything when everyone was trying to tell me that this is difficult and this is impossible and this was ever done before the only thing I could think of is that none of this is anywhere near as difficult as what my mother went through that day and she did it because life was on the line how many lives are on the line right now if we don't grow the Yeshiva World the Orthodox Jewish world if we don't bring the Torah to our children you see if a person thinks about all the difficulties when it comes to Jewish intimacy they're never going to understand the reward that they're getting when they realize that the reward that they're getting certainly is beyond our comprehension and certainly is worth the difficulty you should always be reminded that difficulty we'll have anyway at least this time we're choosing our difficulty now we'll finalize with this one story a story that's going to remind us of perhaps the same thing in a little bit of a different way a story that happened around 50 years ago where I young couple living in Tel Aviv in the late 1970s completely secular completely oblivious of Torah mitzvas to the extent where observing any holiday is not even an imagination and eating pig has become part of the day-to-day life even in now he was successful and his wife enjoyed all types of tastes and pleasures and one day she calls him as he's at work and she tells him honey on the way home can you get us some white meat so we could have a nice Feast together white meat is pig bacon or should say ham sure and this young Jewish man finishes work goes to the store he says sees that the store that sells non Kosher meat including Pig has literally a line a line people waiting online to buy more he waits online and as he's waiting online for the first time in his life a story that he's known his whole life Pops in his head and it pops in his head but this time it affects him in a different way than it ever did before the story is about his grandfather where a man told him a man that survived the Holocaust A man that knew his grandfather told him the story he says I was in the Holocaust with your grandfather your grandfather was a strong man with a lot of faith and although he wasn't an extraordinary Torah scholar he was a strong believer in God and towards the end of the Holocaust these evil Nazis took pleasure in torturing us even more by telling us we can leave sometimes is a trap sometimes it's an excuse to kill us and one day as the war was coming to an end these evil Nazis got a group of us together and say listen you see that gate all of you are allowed to leave after you see how horrible your beliefs are everybody's skinny starving famished the last thing they want is this Nazi evil monster teaching them anything about anything but they have no chice choice and the man tells this young man this Nazi then grabbed your grandfather he says to him you you are not willing to eat what we give you well let's see if that changes today he brings a piece of ham and he says them eat this and you can go free with the rest of these Jews from that gate right there he says your grandfather said to him I'm a Jew I don't eat pig the Nazi get even more Angry than we've seen him grabs his gun puts it to his head he says if you don't eat it I'm going to shoot you in the head but if you eat it you can go free with the rest of them he says your grandfather again said I'm a Jew I'm not going to eat pig some of the people that knew him that befriended him we tried convincing him just eat it let's go let's get out of here he's letting us go but he wouldn't budge and after warning him last time the Nazi put the gun to his head and killed him your father father your grandfather died on kashem he believed in hasem so deeply that he was willing to die not to eat pig and this young man suddenly remembered this story years after he heard it originally in the past when he was a kid and he heard about his grandfather it didn't really move him it was kind of weird why would you die just eat the pig what's the big deal it's even delicious 25 years have passed he hears the story in his own mind again and he thinks to himself how could this be that my grandfather was on the line was given an opportunity to be free to be alive and refused to eat pig but I am here in the Holy Land of Israel in a store that sells Pig and I'm waiting online to eat what my grandfather refused to eat to the extent that he was willing to die for it how could it be there's such a difference between us either he's crazy or I'm crazy that cannot be such a difference he got out of the line he said I'm not buying Pig until I find out who is crazy he came home his wife said oh did you get the did you get the food said no explain to what happened what went through his mind he says I have to find out if he's crazy or not I need to find out what is this why didn't eat it say okay I'm with you find out leaves the house and all of a sudden he sees as a sign one of the walls over there seminar about Judaism ask all the questions you want new he said wow this is a miracle where is it oh it's tomorrow he gets there he sees there's a few rabbis and four other people that's it nobody else should up there's as many rabbis as there are audience the rabbis say listen we have a lot of experience and knowledge from all types of things you can ask any question you want and these five Jews start firing questions how is this proof that God is real what's the proof that the Torah is divine what's the proof of this what's the proof of that because each one of them was smarter than the next and every one of them is getting answers and this man was asking questions questions he's had his whole life questions he's never asked until now and he's getting the answers and after getting all of these answers and he says himself years later when he tells a story every question I ask they had the answer and each time they give an answer my calms down even more I feel like I'm at peace that something was solved like a piece of the puzzle that was missing and I ask another question and they give me an answer and the answers all make sense the answers all have proofs and sources from the Torah and after they answered all of our questions I had one last question when are you going to do this again and the young Rabbi said we just started the seminar this is the first one we're planning on starting an organization and doing this more often the young man says I'll fund the whole thing I'll pay for it I'll be partners with you guys that young man started an organization with those rabbis called arim arim became renowned in the World At Large in Israel in America in Europe hundreds of thousands of people have shown up have enjoyed have learned from their seminar some of the Great greatest kiru rabbis throughout the last four uh decades have been part of this organization giving them giving their people opportunities to go to heaven whether it was Ren Shalom many other rabbis that literally were the greatest rabbis of their generation now that boy or that young man that used to eat pig his name is rsph valis and he's the one that told the story of how he went from eating pig to being the founder of one of the most well-known kir of organizations in the world now who gets all the credit certainly he gets a lot of credit certainly those rabbis get a lot of credit but you know who gets that's the biggest that grandfather that died on Kem the grandfather that didn't think that him dying for the sake of not eating a pig from some pig that's giving it to him was going to end up bringing the seed they will produce arim they'll produce produce hundreds of thousands of Bal CH they will produce an endless amount of Torah and he still did it even without knowing all of the fruits that will come out from that single effort if he's willing to do that without even realizing all of the fruits that he will get from it all of the fruits that hasem gave him as a result of that one act imagine what our responsibility is when we do know the fruits that we can get at least part of them the fruits that we can benefit from in this world and the next helping people do Chua get closer to Hashem is one of the greatest things that Hashem has ever given us being in the world of kiru is certainly a difficulty that is unlike anything else I've ever done but when you see the fruits that helping people does doing Chua creates the families that are built the personalities that are perfected the beautiful people that literally transformed their lives just because of some words they heard me say in the name of a T you see that even if this was the reward it's enough and guess what the reward for helping people to Juba is endless the reward for achieving Jewish intimacy is also endless because each time can produce a whole new generation of righteous people that can publicize toah we're exerting the effort anyway to bring more good to those kids we want we love we need the only thing that the sages are teaching us here is if you're already going to exert that effort start early before they come before they're in the world and you'll end up enjoying them for eternity thank you very much for learning Torah with me tomorrow we'll continue our questions and ansers series called stump the rabbi where I'll take all the questions you guys have perhaps we'll make it a longer lecture and BM we'll learn how to get closer to hem how to address some of these questions that all of us have in mind in order to serve hasem even better for now I think we've achieved our purpose for today of getting excited motivated inspired and a little more knowledgeable about why it's worth it to do what our Torah teach us to do when it comes to Jewish intimacy thanks again for learning with me May hasem bless each and every single one of you with lots of success in your life especially when it's comes to serving hem and achieving Holiness in your lives to [Music] [Applause] [Music]