Synthesizing Business & Emunah at YPLA Kollel

[Music] first of all thank you very much for having me the is a very very special place you know anywhere any place where there's T people learn Tor people uh uh are doing whatever they can to fulfill the will of hem on a daily basis not on a once in a while basis it's a special place it's a mini bet mikdash uh so it's ypla it's called right ypla so first and foremost mayem continue to bless you give you a lot of and whereever we have today soon we have 100 times more all of will join you all of will see what it really means to be a Ben uh the uh says that has seven names seven names so question is why do we car has seven names calls them then then all all types of names we what I care he has seven names okay great he has names 10 seven names 10 names there's a lot more than seven names but why does he says he has seven names why is to remind us that yet unlike us isn't give up he doesn't give up we what we try we try to do something it doesn't work if we really want it bad enough we try again it doesn't work the second time we really got to want it really bad to try again after the third time ah I'm going I'm moving on to something else yeah but it's your marriage what could I do I have to find new wife yeah but it's your kid you can't leave them Hey listen I'll find new kids yeah but it's your career I'll find new career we give up we give up quickly yet is like a z on your heart it's like a fly on your heart what does it mean fly on your heart doesn't matter how many times you sh him away he keeps coming back we have to learn from the we have to learn Fromm says he comes to you in seven different ways meaning you try to show this way he's going to come from the other way you try to sh because you close your eyes and it come to you through a thought to come with through a thought you give through a book through a movie through a text message to something he's coming and today there's no place that you look at he's not there already he's in your phone he's in the television he's in the streets he's in the colos he's in the betet he's sometimes in the rabbi's head he's sometimes in your head he's in the wife's head he's in the kids head he's everywhere so how we going to win how we going to win when he's fire and we're barely flesh and blood what how we going to win says I made he's huge he's strong he's smarter than us he's older than us there's only one Kil what Tora T Tora is the potion Tora is the ingredient that can kill him now in the secular world yet is not it's like a it's like an imaginary tale it's like oh yeah it's like a fairy tale you know you had cartoon anyone that used to watch TV like I used to when I was a little kid used to watch you know in the cartoons they always had like a little angel on this side angel on that side this one was red this one was white the red one always said cool stuff but you're not allowed to do it the white guy always said any stuff that you really don't want to do but you kind of have to do he's the good guy he's the bad guy was a cartoon it's not something real one time somebody said the smartest thing that the devil ever did was convince everyone he doesn't exist convince everyone he doesn't exist and the reality is is that most people do not believe he exists it's easier to believe in all types of other things in the world it's easier to believe that the world came from nothing like these atheists believe than to believe the exist why because that means that somebody else inside you is influencing your decisions you want to go to the Shure but all of a sudden something happens and you can't go and you're saying no I can't go because something happened no no didn't even talk to me I don't see him he wasn't there just I can't go today why can't you go cuz my wife needs me cause my school needs me CUA this needs me somebody came one time to the Shalom he says to him for the I need help what you need I need some money for my daughter needs to get wedding to get married I don't have any money she wants a fancy smcy wedding I need I need some money goes no problem he takes uh $10 out of his pocket and he gives it to him go obviously $10 not going to pay for the wedding but the guy says thank you very much for I love you that's it moves the next day he comes back he says I need help he goes what do you need today because I need money for a dress goes what happened with the wedding you get money for the wedding goes oh yeah after I get the $10 from you you wouldn't believe it I raised $50,000 for the wedding everything one day unbelievable he goes so what do you need now you going to need that dress goes why cuz my daughter I came home I told her we have the wedding she says I'm not going to have this fancy schmancy wedding unless you get me a $5,000 dress so the Rabbi says okay one second he goes to his safe he opens thefe safe he takes out $5,000 he gives it to him hugs kisses thank you I love you he moves now the student he's watching his rebi says no l know teach me something for this doesn't make any sense for the wedding $50,000 you gave him $10 the had the audacity to come back the next day and ask for more and what for a dress now for the wedding not for a house not for a mortgage for a dress and not only you give him you give him $5,000 doesn't make any sense you know what you could have done with the money for you could have given it to you could have given it to the you could have given it to K organization you could have given it to the all how many people you could have given it you how many people could have helped you could have benefited out of it your family your family your kids what he says you know what you're right everything you said I also thought about that the the the alot the all of that but then I thought to myself how come I only thought about that now after I have another Mitzvah in front of me to make a Kala happy if it only if it came before then a mitzah but if now that it came after have another Mitzvah that means it's Satan it's a Mitzvah from the Satan Satan wants me to make the Mitzvah of the and the and everything else now why cuz I have another Mitzvah that right now is more important right now the Mitzvah that I have to do is make the bride happy if I would have thought about it beforehand then that's the Mitzvah that wants me to do but now that it's getting in the way of another mitvah gets even involved in your even your you need to be careful so now most of my life none of this information was even remotely a thought I knew that there was a God but it was my own version of God like most people believe in God even if they call themselves atheists it's just the atheist is telling you I have a God that doesn't tell me what to do atheist simply tells you he doesn't want anyone to tell him what to do that's what he wants that's the belief so most of my life I had that version I wasn't an atheist I believed in God I said I once in a while but as far as chabat kosher all these different things I was on elective when I can I can when I can't I can't most of that time I couldn't so we came to the US when I was 10 years old and uh got into school it did good in school we already started working my father always said that if you want something you have to go get it yourself so we already started working very young while going to school by the time I was 17 18 years old I was already making $100,000 a year from sales of electronic stuff and all types of things but it still wasn't enough for me because the says you give somebody 100 he wants 200 give to 100 how much does he want 400 says no one ever dies with even half of what he wants maybe you didn't even get the first half you don't even achieve the first half so I realized I'm making I'm making I'm making but it's not enough I want more okay how you going to make more I'm 17 18 years old I went to college I did good in college I had almost a perfect GPA but then I realized that everybody around me is wasting their life they're not they're interested in partying I'm interested in making money the two don't match so I decide college is enough for me I don't want to be in college for the next seven eight years I don't want to be a doctor I don't want to be a lawyer I just want to make money so I left college and I joined Wall Street I joined a couple of different firms in the beginning trying to find my way unfortunately when you're trying to find your way all of the leeches in the business world TR to suck the blood out of you as much as they possibly can that's the real world they all have a nice smile while in they sucking their blood though they all call themselves your friend you're they're helping you they're doing you a favor all that stuff so anyway I joined Wall Street started learning about how to make money in the stock market I had to get clients and so on and so forth after about 3 years of paying my dues and working for other people I finally had the opportunity to become independent within a company so uh the uh I was working for a company called Raymond James and uh they told me that uh you know the uh partner that I had which really wasn't a part he was a thief um I did all the work he took all the money and then after two months when I finally asked for the money he gave me a check for $81 12 I made a copy of the check and I left it as a memory for the rest of my life and I showed all the employees that I ever had after that I'm like this is what I made for the first two months don't complain you're making more than $81 so anyway after that I told I want to be on my own I want to be independent I don't want to have a boss I don't want to have a partner I don't want to have anything I just want to do my own thing I've already been in the business for three years let me be he's like listen that's a nice thought it's a nice Theory it's a it's right nice ambition your young and ambiti great but I still need to make money so you have to make sure that every single month I have $4,000 in my bank account automatically he says do you have the money I said no he said how you going to get it I said I don't know but I'm not going to go somewhere else and start this whole rig andaro again so let me just figure it out over here he says no problem he goes what's your intention here I said to buy You Out imagine I'm 21 years old and this guy's in the business for 20 years and I this little kid with cucko is telling him I'm going to buy you out he found it amusing he's like all right go ahead no give the kid a try as long as as $4,000 shows up every month it doesn't make a difference if I show up or not just as long as the 4,000 shows up first six months were very difficult first six months every single penny that I made went to his account nothing went to me I had to borrow a dollar from this kid Demitri every day in order to buy 50 Cent coffee and 50 Cent donut that was my food for the day once in a while I would spoil myself for my second job and I would buy some balone this is how I live for six months every day had to leave the house at around 5:00 5:30 in the morning get to work by 6:30 read the news start making phone calls at at 8 because that was the earliest you allowed to do it legally and call until midnight no breaks no fancy schmancy lunches I couldn't afford it anyway 9 to 12 every day and the only reason I stopped at 12 was because I couldn't call anywhere in the US because California time is 9:00 after 9:00 you're not allowed to call finish work at 12: catch the bus at around 1 you know read some news prepare for the next day catch the bus at around 1 get home at around two sleep for a couple of hours do the same thing all over again the next day the rest of the world thought I was insane but I had a dream after six months I finally collected my first ,000 in my pocket to me it was a million bucks now all this time the only way I'm surviving is because I have a second job selling Electronics wheeling and dealing doing different things on the side so I could afford because I was already on my own even I was young was already on my own had my own apartment had my own car was already on my own so it wasn't like hey ABA IMA I need money for rent nothing like that like today's generation that ABA and IMA provide a little uh give people Binkies when they're 30 years old didn't work for me sometimes if I had extra money I'd help AB Anda if it was needed that's the that's my generation that's our life that's how we were that's who we're brought up this generation unfortunately is very different 30 year olds are still getting Binkies they complain to Aba Anda because their first car is not a brand new Benz it's only a brand new Toyota one time somebody showed me a video a kid got a uh new car but it wasn't a new car it was like a used uh truck to show his satisfaction with this truck his first car he took a baseball bat and started smashing the car to Pieces it's not good enough that's this generation that's this generation where a generation of ungrateful people we don't understand how difficult it is to make a dollar how difficult it is to survive how difficult it is to do everything so sometimes remind reminds us sometimes it's our own skin sometimes it's our own parents but the point is it's not easy in the world as you all know already so after six months I finally made a th000 bucks the next month I made 5,000 next month I made Seven next month I made about 10 then 17 and then November of 2002 which was approximately a year after I became independent I made $117,000 in a month so that changed everything I took about 60 or $70,000 I put a down payment on my parents house so they finally have their own house instead of renting and getting kicked out every year like we did for the first 20 years in this being in this country we got got a house I put a down payment on renting an apartment in the city and I bet everything that I was going to continue to succeed and it worked I continued working hard every month became much bigger 50 100 150,000 and so on by August of 2003 another year later I became the number three producing broker in the entire country for that company Raymond James which had about five of 5,000 5,000 maybe 6,000 Brokers the average top you know the average time frame on the top 25 list you know had 20 25 years more in the business than me everybody asked who's this guy where did he come from how long is he in the business when they found out I'm only in the business for a few years they started thinking there's something wrong the president of the company which is a public company it's a big company multi-billion dollar company called the office like who is this guy he's like oh he works hard he goes yeah everybody works hard how does he make do he have Insider information is he doing something illegal it didn't make any sense how this guy is new he's barely got out of his own diapers and now he's uh he's making this money how does it make any sense didn't make any sense to anybody when he started telling them my schedule my that then it's okay yeah something why does he work so much so I realize at that point that I have to make a decision I'm either going to be part of the system or I'm going to create my own when you're part of corporate America when you're part of the corporate world in general you have to learn how to get along you have to know that there's a certain system there's a system in play you have to just get along with it if you work for a big company there a certain system you have to get along I didn't want to get along I wanted my own system so I left started my own company started hiring some people within a short period of time we continued growing started making on a bad month $200,000 maybe 250 sometimes more everything was wonderful when it came to material I didn't really care for material things though I cared for competition I never I was never one of those people that bought fancy mancy watches and cars and all these different things that people spend their money on I never did it I spent my money in a few few things one is helping people because for whatever reason or another they didn't have and I did so here have some anybody had a problem they just come to me they would start telling me their story since my time was very valuable according to my calculations I told them listen how much does your problem cost he goes no no but let me tell you I'm like I don't doesn't make a difference how much does it cost 3,000 okay I write him a check for 3,000 good luck to you that's how you self problems in my world at that time didn't make a difference what the problem was he had a problem he needed help here has the money what what what difference does it make you have a problem I have the money you have a problem solve the problem why because money if you look at it the right way is no different than the hammer you have in your toolbox if you look at money as anything different than a hammer you have a problem it's called idolatry the US dollar bill it says In God We Trust In God We Trust the problem is not the sentence the sentence is Right In God We Trust the problem is not the sentence what's the problem most people that think that the God they're talking about is the dollar that's the problem if you're chasing the dollar to such an extent that you're willing to sell your soul that as soon as somebody needs help you close the door as soon as some big expense comes you get nervous as soon as uh you know something unethical comes you're like listen how much money is in it for me and you actually even consider it it's called idolatry you're worshiping the money more than that's something I never had a t never had a problem with that hm didn't make me that way so as somebody had a problem that's what I use my money for second thing is I like to invest I invested for other people I invested for myself I was my own biggest client I invested in the stock market but most of my money was made by running the company and having clients million clients from all over the world materially everything was wonderful I found a woman that was extraordinary she was a genius she was my Traer she knew my business so she understood me and decided this is the woman that I want to marry there's only one problem she wasn't Jewish other than that she was perfect sometimes for few you can change that too but since I wasn't an unethical person I said listen what I'm going to make her people tell me don't you want to marry Jew you don't you want to do you're Israeli you're this you're that I said listen what am I tell her to do stuff I'm not doing that's a hypocrite why I tell her go keep Shabbat I don't keep Shabbat tell her to go eat kosher I don't eat kosher I eat kosher when it's convenient okay so I'm not eating pig and I'm not eating cheeseburgers I'm not that guy not reformed but I eat Pizza outside I eat salads in a non kosher place I eat certain things I'm not going to tell you have to do something I'm not willing to do if she wants to be Jewish that's her problem she has to do it on her own I'm not going to tell somebody to do something that I'm not doing hypocrite I'm not everything else was perfect says says to the Prophet Jeremiah my people committed two evils theyve forsaken me the source of all living water to dig for themselves systemns broken systemns that cannot hold water so sh says to the Prophet Jeremiah in Chapter 2: 13 he says is made two sins against me first they forsaken me meaning they made a sin violated Shabbat non kosher or whatever it is he did something against me that's already bad enough said but there's two problems not only did they eat non kosher or violated Shabbat or look at a woman that's not their wife and so on and so forth not only did did that but they replaced me with a broken sistern meaning they just they found a way to justify it they found a way to rationalize and make themselves look good doing it now listen you know the reason why mosu didn't drive on Shabbat he didn't have a car that's why he didn't drive on Shabbat you know why mosenu had so much you know kosher food because everybody was a everybody was a Shepherd what he gonna do he had an inn he was in the business that's why he koser everybody tries to justify why they were able to do it 3,000 years ago but today it's impossible it's a difficult generation and so on and so forth I tell you a story real story happened to me on Shabbat I come out of the sh and this guy comes to me goes oh listen I'm sorry I missed the lectures last week okay fine know what happened listen I have to ask you something I said okay like yeah but it's kind of business related so business related he's a religious guy he's a f guy alloted to talk business not let talk business on Shabbat not let talk business on Shabbat talk business in reality today 99% of business is talking I made $20 million talking talking that's business business is not building there's only a few people in the world that actually work with their hands most business is talking the owners talk the salesmen talk most of the business conducted in the world is talking when you talk business on Shabbat you are violating Shabbat don't let anybody fool you don't let the come back to no no it's he's talking about what mitvah his business no no his business gives my convinces us that it's a to talk business so the guy says oh yeah it's bus you know what this what he says to me I have to ask you something I said okay Shabbat what called Shabbat he says listen the stock market do you have experience in the stock he start talking business on Shabbat so and I have two options I could rebuke him but he's not going to listen anyway because he actually thinks that he's making a Mitzvah right now how is he going he's not going to listen to me he's telling me the stock market I'm trying to invest but I don't know who to invest with and this guy says this and this guy says this and this guy says this so rebuking him at that point this guy is living in a different planet rebuking him is not going to work so I have to work something else so I said okay you want an answer I said you somebody asked the the same exact question could reallyit I said yes with stock market and everything same thing so what's the question somebody came to the and he said to him I need to make more money so I'm starting a new business so answers him so why do you want to start a business go no no no I'm starting a new business so I can make more money he goes okay so you want to make more money goes yeah so why you starting a new business he says no no the business is to make more money okay so you want more money yes so why is the new business so he thought that is not understanding only didn't know that understands better than him is trying to tell him what makes you think that if you start a new business you're going to make more money who told you you're going to make more money from this new business what is it like it's somebody that has a barrel of of wine he says I'm only making $1,000 a month from this barrel of wine I need to make more money so what does he do he makes another opening to the same Barrel at the end of the month he still makes $1,000 says there's something wrong with the with the barrel I have to make another opening so now he has three openings to the same Barrel at the end of the month he makes a same ,000 he says something's wrong with my Barrel I don't know do do something something no you're trying to make more money from the same Barrel just giving it different openings the well doesn't change the well is sh page 16 a 16b it says decides how much money you're gonna make on until it doesn't make a difference what career you have does it make a difference if you're a stock broker or you're some other type of entrepreneur or you're uh anything else it makes no difference what you do I know plenty of millionaires that make money from garbage and plenty of people that are broke Selling Houses naturally for the yes but for what you're obligated to do is to believe that hem is the one that's providing doesn't make a difference how do I believe that thear says AEM decides how much you're going to make he decides from so the B as wait a minute if the says that he decides how I'm gonna make how much I'm gonna make then why does the Mish that preceded the ask or say that he actually judges also every day if he already decided on why is he deciding every day he already decided Well he Chang his mind every day so one day the B sees a person that's carrying water for a living Tren you know moves water in those days it wasn't like today is fting water or fountains and everything you just turn on the water and water comes to you noce they you have to move water so people W in't that business so this guy was carrying heavy water every day for 20 years says how are you he says I have a good business I have a wife I have a kid everything the next day nothing much has changed the weather is still hot the water is still heavy the wife is still the same wife and the kids haven't changed he ask him how are you what a difficult job I have I don't know why I have this this water is so heavy and it's so hot outside and my kids don't stop screaming I can't sleep at night and my wife doesn't stop complaining she wants a new this and a new this and a new this it's so difficult he says you give me a because I give you a k I'm carrying water for a living for 20 years what K do I even have in my brain goes no I've been asking myself ifem already decided how much P I'm gonna make why does he decide every day also and you gave me the on he decides how much I'm gonna make every day he decides how I'm gonna make it you can make it from your job you can make it from an accident some guy was fired from a job he thought that he lost his life savings the next day he got into a car accident and he found out that it was the other guy's fault and the lawyer said minimum you're going to get is $10 million now anyone says wow good deal is an idiot why because the you don't know the rest of the story the guy got into an accident you really want that kind of P one time I said this story and a guy says why it's a good deal guy hit by a bus he gets $15 million I said yes but he lost his ability to walk he goes yeah but at least he has the money this is the yet work at full force makes us makes us we think that the money is more important than the ability to walk why do we think such a thing only people that have never suffered pain think such a thing most people that think that such a living is good is because they never suffered even a fingernail pain as it says in the beginning of the third chapter of I know suffering I'm an expert in suffering because in nov November 18th of 2006 hasem gave me a sh I decided I'm going to have an elective surgery I had hemorrhoids it was bothering me a couple of times a year I went to a doctor was an expert in the business for almost 20 years he told me that this is a problem that two-thirds of the population has it's not really a big deal he does two three surgeries a day I said okay fine this seems simple enough how much time does it take he goes no no it's no time you come in the morning you leave the same day so I can go back to work go now you're going to be a little uncomfortable for a few days which by the way anytime a doctor tells tells you uncomfortable means pain it's just uncomfortable for him to watch you so he let you go or something says you're going to feel a little pressure pressure means oh yay o means that's pressure so anyway I said how long I'm going to be out of work I'm making three $3,200 a an hour $3,200 an hour a day off of work is a lot of money he says listen you're going to come on Wednesday you go back to work on Monday I said okay it's worth it I just made a million six a month before it's a lot of money for a kid so I said okay I can take off a few days so I took off a day I went to the hospital it was in Brooklyn New York I went to sleep and I woke up somebody else life changed I went to sleep perfectly healthy with hemorrhoids that bother me twice a twice a year I woke up something completely different what does it mean comes something different you go to sleep maybe if you do do before you go to sleep because technically according to says that sleep is 160th of a death so you're supposed to do CH before you die and when you wake up in the morning he says thank you why revive the dead now but you wake up in the morning I'm assuming that everybody wakes up where it's maybe a little tired you're not screaming you're not yelling see everything here the arms the legs if you're married the wife if you have kids the kids KS everybody's there in the same bed everything's there on your head say I didn't wake up that way I woke up with pain now I I can't really make you feel it I like you I'm not going to make you feel it even if I could but I could give you a visual you see those uh Hunters they have these big knives daggers okay so imagine one of those big daggers connected to an electric outlet and cutting off over and over again without an end that's what I felt all over my entire body as if somebody was cutting me nonstop and I'm electrocuted at the same time I'm screaming at the top of my lungs begging them to kill me and get me out of my misery something went wrong with the surgery it's been 12 years almost 13 years until this day no one knows what I went to the best doctors in the world they were dumbfounded and dumb too so there's a reason why thear says the best of doctors goes to G I met him so now so now all the real reason is because the best of doctors pray for p like the rest of us so when when a when when the doctor's praying for parasa he's also praying for people to be sick so now I woke up screaming my lungs out to no end my mom and my wife are there I'm asking both of them to kill me they don't want to listen and they start giving me morphine more morphine more morphine more morphine more morphine eventually it gets to a point with a doctor in a Hospital says I'm sorry to my wife I'm too busy yelling you so she's not talking to me so he says to he says to my wife I'm sorry maam this is the most amount of morphine were legally allowed to give to a human being all other people would have died by now this is what we give usually to like animals to horses it's not normal for people but he's not taking it his body is rejecting it he's not so he asked is he a drug addict he goes no he's actually anti-drugs he's never tried a drug in his life he's against drugs I actually helped some of my employees go to rehab and so on I hated drugs anything that affects your brain is terrible for you there's a reason why the says that loves certain people one type of person he loves some person never gets drunk never gets why he does why he likes because you never let anyone mess with your brain yet is already messing with your brain as it is now you give him a hand people think oh no no I'm smoking a little we just for fun just for fun it relaxes me relax Good Luck Good Luck dealing with the after starts with marijuana then it goes to somewhere else no no I'm only there I'm only there for the last couple years eventually it happens everybody everybody is a crackhead starts with marijuana no one starts with crack on day [Laughter] one no one starts crackhead everybody starts with marijuana everybody starts then it's a pill then it's a this then it's a mushroom then it's a this I saw a lot of them and unfortunately many of them died they all started with marijuana no it's I have a back aake okay I have a back take an Advil no but there's permission it's allowed it's a this okay so if you really really want to use the scientific evidence that shows that there's a benefit there's a medicinal benefit to marijuana okay so take the one that doesn't have an effect on your brain the CBE or CBD or something like that it's called CB CBD take the CBD okay you want to use the medicinal benefit fine no problem it's no different than a painkiller why do you have to take the one that affects your brain too there's a reason why MOS Feinstein Shalom says that someone that smokes marijuana is no different than a why he's electively choosing to remove himself from the obligation of MIT because once you're considered a once you're drunk once you're high you can't do you can't go you can't pray so if you're doing it on purpose so my wife tells him he never tried anything he never did anything he hates it he says then I don't know he should donate his his body to science we have no idea what to do but this is the most amount of morphing we were allowed to give him legally hasem had mercy on me it finally worked my body started coming down within a short period of time meaning a few hours the hospital said okay listen I think you're okay whatever happened happened you're fine go home it's an elective surgery there's no bed reserved for you go home on the way home we go to pick up some shua we eat the S shua at the house I tell everybody good night it's been a very interesting day I got a nice sh of what Gom looks like but I'm thinking it's over I go to sleep I wake up 45 minutes later screaming worse than I did the first time only difference is it doesn't stop this time for 62 days not two hours not three hours 62 days 62 days of screaming and yelling pain 24 hours a day the type of pain that you can't even imagine if you want to imagine it you should watch my lecture about Gom it gives you somewhat of a picture but the reality is is that I thought that this is this is the end why my body started failing my eyes started bleeding my ear started bleeding I started urinating blood my body started dying no one knows why because none of it is related to the surgery surgery is hemorrhoids has nothing to do with my eyes has nothing to do with my ears has nothing to do with urine has nothing to do with anything else in essence it's supposed to be a superficial surgery but a has runs the world for those two months the most amount of consecutive sleep I was able to get was 15 minutes and that's after taking anywhere from 20 to 50 painkillers now once you go on an extended period of time of not sleeping unless you're David that's slept for 15 minutes you start dying your body starts failing your liver starts failing your heart start failing every starts failing so they were telling my wife my mom listen he's dying we have no idea what to do with them was sorry what are they going to do you want help call M what are you going to do after two months things started settling down my body started coming back to itself to some extent there was still a lot of pain but it started becoming somewhat tolerable by tolerable I mean I only had to take 25 pain killers a day I was able to walk let's say for example from here to the door would take about 5 Seconds to a normal human being from it would take about 10 minutes but I started going back to work I started going back to using my brain again started going back to regular life thinking that it's over little by little things started improving my health started improving things started going back to this you know it was just a distant memory nine months later I feel a pain in the back of my leg by the next day I can't move I have to go to the emergency room the doctors at the emergency room said say that I have an infection in between two muscles that's so big that it's about to pop and if it popped I would die within an hour cuz it would go into my blood system it's complete poison and so on and so forth no good so I have to have an emergency surgery more difficult than the first surgery because the recovery for this one is very interesting since it's an infection the only way to remove it is by leaving the surgery open and reopening it every every day so when somebody has a surgery they cut him up and then they Stitch him up and he heals the blood clots he heals over time but when they cut you up and they leave it open and they reopen it every day it's a very interesting level of pain so I had to be in the ICU unit for three weeks next to the people that were dying from all types of interesting things I'm screaming they're screaming we comparing screams after that nice sh I'm released I go back to life recover again 6 months later another pain another side completely unrelated to the first two I'm back in the hospital I'm back in the IC unit I'm back in a surgery I'm back under a knife and all this wonderful things that I just told you again it's a repeat it's like you read two weeks in a row after that six months it's it's finished right no 3 months later I'm back in the hospital have you guys noticed the time is getting shorter between the breaks after those three months I'm back in the hospital after that recovery next month and then it becomes every month then it gets to a point that I have to be at a doctor or at a hospital every single week all of the infections all of the surgeries are completely unrelated one to the other everyone tried to make a connection but they couldn't and then the rest of my body starts to act up one day my legs start hurting the next day they poof and magically double in size I'm not able to walk I go to the hospital the best doctor in that hospital told me maybe it's from the heat I told maybe your brain swelled up from the heat but legs don't swell up from heat like this I don't need to be a doctor to know that like I don't have anything else I said you should go to school for another 20 years I didn't tolerate people with stupidity very much especially when you're in pain there's not really much patience so there's nothing they could do for me I had to go home and for the next year and a half I to walk at with a cane some young guy from the uh from the building that I was working on working at thought that my cane was a fashion statement so he got himself a king too tell you should feel like me then walk K so anyway this didn't last for a year didn't last for two years didn't last for three years seven years seven years of going from Doctor to doctor over 50 different doctors the best the worst anything in between traditional medicine holistic medicine steroids like the athletes take that's $2,000 a shot that you have to take every day ozone treatment that makes you feel like you're taking uh chemotherapy two three four times a week every time you take it you feel like you're dying for the next couple of hours all types of things try anything because now it's no longer a pain from the bottom half of the body now the pain is from my neck down everything 24 hours a day and once in a while maybe every 45 minutes to an hour I would get an electric shock at some odd place in my body my arm my leg my chest my private parts somewhere electric shock as if literally I'm connected to the wall it would be very very uncomfortable to sit next to me because once in a while I'm sitting next to you and you're talking and I'm talking and all of a sudden you start seeing me shake and screaming in pain so it became very uncomfortable for me to watch your face I was dealing with the pain it's uncomfortable having the pain but it's even more uncomfortable to see your look so it became antisocial for obvious reasons I stopped seeing people I somewhat of a recluse especially when I didn't feel well but eventually got to a point where I really didn't want to live much seven years of dealing with this with no end in sight my business went to the toilet everything that went you know in the beginning I turned dust into gold at least that's what I thought now the gold was turning back into dust the market crashed my business crashed my friends became enemies everyone that could steal stole the Lin's down so everybody grabs whatever they can I never cared for money I like the competition but now he couldn't even compete anymore but even more so than ever I realized that all the money in the world that I had was now completely worthless why it couldn't buy me a cure there was a guy that was worth North of7 billion doar before he died his name was Steve Jobs Steve Jobs was an atheist he knows God really well now now why did Steve Jobs die he had S7 billion with7 billion you buy you be able to buy two lives didn't cre a canc he couldn't Buy buy a new liver he couldn't buy a new pancreas he couldn't buy a new anything only hasem only hasem can provide him he tried he got one it didn't work the second one failed he died the point is AB all the money in the world cannot replace it cannot replace that's the Healer of all that's the that's the doctor of all it cannot replace now all of you are chasing the dream like everyone else the question is what is that dream if you're chasing money you're chasing the wrong dream and the reason why is because you're thinking that money is going to give you something that it can't you think it's going to give you health it can't you think it's going to give you happiness it can't why do we chase money we chase money because we want something that we don't have because we think that what we don't have is going to make us happy schl already told us 3,000 years ago he had it he had all the money in the world he had all the desires all the things that you could possibly imagine women money power everything he says every it's all it's all nonsense now who's going to listen to 3,000 years later everyone has an excuse the same yet is telling them no in his day he didn't need it in his day there was no need for cars no need for big houses no need for this no he was the king he could say well I'm not or even a dust under a shoe but I could tell you that I've met a lot of millionaires that was my job my job was to deal with millionaires in some cases a few billionaires that was my business if you weren't a millionaire there was no conversation there's no point I can't do business with you that was my job I met many of them and every single one of them to no end to no end was miserable every single one of them they had moments of Happy when they went on vacation and they bought a new car and they bought a new house and they bought a new business and they did some deal they had moments of Happiness everybody has moments of Happiness even the homeless guy that has nothing he has moments of Happiness too but it's not happiness because the moments of happiness that we we consume ourselves with is based on something material and that material the feeling of the material pleasure goes away it goes away a minute later an hour later a week later a month later finished it's finished at some point why is it finished because real happiness is a spiritual feeling you cannot sat satiate something spiritual with something material at least not permanently happiness is a spiritual feeling it's not something you you can't make somebody Happy by giving him the best car in the world you can't somebody make somebody Happy by giving him a new house or money or whatever it is he can't I knew this even as a secular person but I like to chase but now I can't chase now there's a bunch of zebras around me and I can't even chase them it made me feel like because I have no point I have no happiness from here I have no happiness from there I have no happiness I don't want to live now hasem also promised us that he's not going to give us a test that we can't pass so at that moment I started thinking all types of crazy thoughts my mom started calling rabbis to she saw that her son is something wrong with him more than usual started calling rabbis maybe to get a blessing the typical saric mom or ashkanazi mom always have a book of different rabbis mom you know rabbis name you know the ashkanazi has the rabbis from ashaz the Safari has the ones from Safar and when it'sot we have both we call anybody we're all together when there's problems we're all United when there's no problems we call oh no no I'm only keeping me Safari asazi when there's problems we call everybody who's going to answer so she started calling everyone she can for almost two hours she's calling the US she's calling Israel two hours no one's answering so imagining you're desperate you're crying you're son you feel like your son's dying she doesn't know what's going on in my head but she knows what's going on in my body at least to some extent she starts calling two hours no one answers finally someone in Israel answers a woman in Israel answers say hello and I'm looking for Rabbi so and so she goes I'm sorry ma'am in Hebrew wrong number my mom breaks down starts crying to this strange woman on the phone cuz she's finally got somebody on the phone after two hours and she she got a wrong number in the wrong country hasem shows a person sometimes he's the one running the show when abah ainu was looking for God came out of the cave as a little boy said maybe God is the Sun but then he saw the sun go down the moon come up he said oh maybe God is the moon but then he saw it's replaced again maybe it's the sky maybe it's this maybe it's this and then it says hasem peaked in it says hey I'm the B you looking for me it's my place my show you looking for me I'm here sometimes hasm is going to say are you looking for me I'm here seph says if you look for me you'll find me if you look for me with all of your heart and all of your soul hem knew that we're looking for him we didn't know where to look my mom was looking through phone numbers so oh you're looking for for me he made sure we know how that woman the wrong phone number in Israel says wrong number my mom starts crying and then the woman says dois which is my mom's name say oh she got scared like you guys just got scared wait how do you know my name she goes well I'm your niece nie yeah I'm your brother's sister panina like how did I get to you I don't have your phone number we've never spoken on the phone before they didn't have each other's phone number the best question is how does she recognize her voice there's eight billion people in the world I mean somebody calls you even if he's your best friend from 20 years ago you going to recognize his voice probably not I was in the phone business that's what I did I made phone calls all day to to make sales I don't recognize people's voices all the time unless it's my wife yelling at me then I recognize that but the reality is that she recognized her voice because hasm says hello I'm running the show rabot you looking I'm here she says to her why are you crying she says my son is dying I'm looking for a rabbi to give him a blessing she goes why don't you call Rab fry my brother and he also happens to live two uh two buildings down fromom when he was still alive he could connect you to radya something he'll talk to me of course I'll talk to you your dois you're they hand from America give me the phone number she calls R is in a call like you guys he's studying but he gets the message from his wife he calls my mom back my mom starts telling him the story she starts crying the whole thing that we do we cry we talk we cry we talk and so on sometimes we just cry and then we talk so if I'm only ask one question does he speak Hebrew because R doesn't speak English now I never knew R existed when I left Israel he was a baby he's younger than I am we never talked I never went back to Israel since we came to the US I didn't know he existed especially he's in a completely different corner of the world he's in in the what am I I'm in Wall Street with uh there's the eav at the end of Wall Street there really is you go on top of wall there it's egab on top of Wall Street there's a building across my apartment that on the top of the building is a pyramid of Egypt the building next to it has the corners of every of every building that's the face of now I didn't see this when I was living on the 35th floor when it was all in front of me after we did CH your I your vision starts getting clearer I'm like wait a minute that's par wait a minute it's a pyramid wait a minute wait a minute I'm in Egypt you don't realize you're in the garbage until you're outside why does the rat eat garbage he doesn't realize it's garbage you start feeding the rat some steaks after a while he doesn't want the garbage anymore why does the guy in a uh sometimes you have public bathrooms you have a guy that works in the bathroom it smells terrible but he's wh whistling he's whistling he's having a good time he's having a sandwich everything is good but it smells terrible you want to die as soon as you go you want to go you want to do your thing it smells Terri you want to die instead but he's wor than eating his steak sandwich why he got used to the smell he doesn't realize it's disgusting you bring him outside you have a conversation with him you go back and say oh seor it's terrible yeah why you went outside for a second you realized it's disgusting you do chuva you start realizing that the world that we Chase is disgusting the girl that's not allowed to you is disgusting she's not a bad person but the acts that she's doing is disgusting the money that's illegal is disgusting money you need but when it's against theem it's disgusting says a person should never say I don't want to eat milk and meat it's not true you want to eat milk and meat you should say I want to eat milk and meat but what can I do that my father in Heaven says no what can I do my Father in Heaven said no I want to eat pig I want to eat milk and meat I want to drive on Shabbat you drive the rest of the week what's wrong with driving on Shabbat what all of a sudden it's bad you drove six days a week it's bad to drive on Shabbat you want to drive on Shabbat you want to eat milk and meat you want to steal you want to do all the bad things but what can I do that my father in Heaven said no that that's the truth the truth is that the Torah is not something to tell you that no no all of a sudden everything is bad no it's bad because it's against theem it's not that driving is bad driving you have to drive you have to go from place to place driving is bad when it's against theem making money is not bad it's making money against theem that's what that's bad when you sacrifice your Torah to go make money that's bad everyone says no no I could work and I could learn at the same time the reality is is very difficult unless you have serious at and a schedule and you're really dedicated to hasem first job second if you think that you could mix it 5050 you've already failed before you started if you think that the two have the same value you've already failed before you started and the reason why is because in the beginning you're like yeah yeah I want to make some money and I'm also going to learn on the side a lot of people learn a little bit a lot of people make some money so I'm going to do a mix of both the problem is the makes you think that that's you know that's going to work that plan is all going to work now as soon as you go to work they tell you listen you want a promotion yeah well okay you have to work a little more then you didn't know this when you got into it but now you have the in front of you tell you listen you're making x amount of money now you want to make more you want to get that house that your wife wants you want to get married like you want you want to get this you want to get this okay we have the opportunity for you what work instead of uh 5 days a week work six days a week instead of 9 to5 work 9 to n yeah but I learn after that okay you could either learn or you could have a house which one do you want so now the says okay you know what why don't you make this money this year and next year and the year after and then go back to learning we've already lost we've already lost why because we think for a moment that we're the ones that are making money we think for a moment that we need to help hem give us money AEM already decided on how much you're going to make doesn't make a difference that the boss is telling you that if you do this you're going to get a raise makes no difference yes how do you know where that level of ends is really is based on your how much you have is how much you make if you have 100% is then then you have NOA if you have 100% you have no so obviously there's a balance of the two how do you work out where like the balance is is that you have to make a priority list number one priority for a Jew is to be a Jew first everything else second Jew first everything else second Hashem has a lot of Jewish businessmen but he has very few Jews people that their mother is Jewish Al they're Jewish technically plenty of Jewish businessmen Jews that are koser we have very few unfortunately why because very few are willing to fulfill the Torah and business at the same time they choose one of the other and unfortunately many of them choose business so they work on Shabbat or they do business on Shabbat or they uh do business that's that's not necessarily a Jewish business type of deal and all types of they sell AEM out for a few dollars eventually the few dollars became more and more grows and grows and grows it get to a point where it says at the end of that pays the wicked cash to their face he gives them cash to their face meaning decides the r says I don't want to do CH here's the money here's the you made a few you gave some you did some things good things in your life here's the money for it I don't want to see you ever again worst punishment a person can get in this world asem decides I don't want him this I was this close from this a lot of people are really close to why because we sell AEM out for five bucks if somebody tells you listen let's go uh make a deal now and you're in the middle of learning you should know 100% it's 100% test he tells you listen you can do uh some things right now I'll give you 100 bucks hour you say yes hasem says oh cuz Torah is only worth 100 bucks say oh it's only worth 100 I'll give him 200 tomorrow he's not even going to show up yet has a lot of money so the first thing is you have to remember AEM decide how much money you're going to make you don't need to help him at all now what's the proof the proof is the rest of the story The Story Goes where after everything went hey business went to nothing started losing the millions started realizing that all the millions and all the things be were worthless anyway my mom calls a strange Rabbi a strange person wrong number she says call Rab FR R asked only one question he says does he speak Hebrew she says he speaks Hebrew but he's not going to talk to you he's not going to talk to anybody at that very moment I decided to call my mom for the first time in months because I started thinking some crazy Suicidal Thoughts I figured let me be nice to my mom before I jump off a roof so I called my mom and she's crying cuz she's on the other line where so I ask her why are you crying she goes talk to him talk to him who and why is he making you cry this person say a talk to EP he can help you he's your cousin I said talk I'll talk to anybody just stop crying just have him call me I'll talk to him right calls me and immediately I understand that this person is very different than the people that I know even the rabbis that used to come to my office every week two three times a week to collect Saka and all other things they weren't like this guy he doesn't care about money at all in fact he hates it there's very few people I think that exist in the world that actually despise money he's one of them like he finds it disgusting the stories of Bal are extraordinary but I think none of them is as extraordinary about money specifically that I heard is this one the sabotka one time came to a ask for and he uh says to him you know he's on the line there's a bunch of people there once a year people would come to this G to collect money and he gives him a sack of money sack of money give him a nice pigb the rabbi after him asks for money also and he gives him like a nice nice W of money I don't know $10,000 so the rabbi ask them he's like listen why did you give him so much more listen thank you very much for what you gave me I just really want to know what do I have to do Chua for why did you give the sa so much more is it because you think he's at the more than me is it because he has Yesa I have Yesa is it because he learns I learn is it be what what what's the reason he said listen you in the morning you woke up you were thinking you're going to come meet me you respect me you want me to help you so you groomed yourself and you prepared yourself and you talked to your wife about it and you you know repeated what you're going to say to me and you look good and you know everything is good why because you want me to help me you want me to help you meaning that you respect my money so when I see you it reminds me of my money so I like my money so you remind me of my money so I give you some money because I like my money so I want to keep it when came to me he's a mess he's uh BS he has uh um mud on his shoes he's not too worried about everything else he he just coming here and he says to me zman zman all you have in this world is money what are we going to do with you what are we going to do with you zman all you have in this world is money you have no mitv you have no Tor you have nothing else in this world I don't even know if I can help you all you have in this world is disgusting money and he gives me a sh that all I have is this money and it really it I'm starting to think really all I have is this money it's this paper it can't help me at the time of trouble what can I do with this money he really reminds me at the time of need all I really need is but all I have instead of hem instead of T instead of I have money what do I me I'm thinking I need to help myself I need to save myself how can I sell myself hey Raba you take the money and at least I'm going to start learning T at least I'm going to start doing mitah at least I'm going to do something to save myself he reminds me of what I need you remind me of what I have a person needs to know that when they're chasing they're chasing they're chasing it's good to chase you have to just chase the right dream though if you're learning to you're chasing the right dream the reason why is because brought you to the world to be a Jew money wife house kids all that other stuff a has to take care of someone that understands that sentence has to get to a level of 100% like the like all the like why because he says everything is from sh except meaning your Pala your wife your kids your health tall short good-look ugly Rich poor everything is from sham you have nothing to do with it what do you have to do with whether you're going to listen to God or not even your of how much effort you're going to exert in whatever it is that you're going to do in the business world is based on youra obviously we're not B we're not R we're not these people fine we're not but you can't be ham either you can't be par either you learn Tora in order to fill it okay you want to work work you have a ninto five job have a nin to five job but always remember the only reason you're working is so you can learn T not you're learning T so you can make more money if you think you learn T so you can make more money you're learning the wrong Tora T is not a lot ticket hasem is not Santa Claus it doesn't work that way anyone that tells you if you learn to you're going to make more money it's not true hem will decide if you're going to be a millionaire or not decide there's plenty of people that sell garbage I know make millions is one guy started selling junk as dog food junk he started dog food it hit started making money out of it he ended up making over $100 million some dog food dog food then I know guys that started a business with $100 million they completely broke their father had a lot of money gave him $100 million to start a business and broke zero so the reality is when I spoke to R I started realizing this we spoke for an hour and 40 minutes I'll fast forward the story a little bit because we're running out of time the next week he called me again we spoke for three hours I started realizing that my world is really upside down I'm more interested in what he has to say in the world around me the next week we spoke for five hours and then from that point on every Thursday at 4:00 we would learn for seven hours straight now the wife that wasn't Jewish became the biggest advocate of my learning tah in the world at Thursday at 4:00 she closed my door to my office she was The Bodyguard says no one's allowed to talk to him no one's allowed to nothing phone calls have to go to her everyone in the world has to wait till tomorrow why he's learning toah yeah but you're not even Jewish yeah but he needs to be all the answers that he's ever looked for he's getting let him get the answers the world has to stop on Thursday and we talk and we learn and everything I'd learned I'd teach her you start fast forwarding we started realizing we're in a dilemma we're starting observing mitv we started keeping Shabbat is geden in this world anyone that doesn't keep Shabbat you don't realize what you're missing out and by keeping Shabbat I don't mean you sleep all day keep Shabbat meaning you learn Tora keep Shabbat means it's not just food people think that Shabbat is only about food just go to a restaurant and that's it Shabbat is not just the food there's one guy he has 200 people I met him he's here in California has two 300 people in his house every week two 300 people every week and he asked me oh listen why don't you uh you know come uh come speak at my house I said sure no problem I'll come speak no problem no money no nothing I'll come speak 200 people sure like yeah but listen there's a few rules excuse me yeah there's a few rules you can't tell them M you can't tell them they can't drive on Shabbat you can't tell them they can't smoke on Shabbat you can't tell them this you can't tell them this can't tell them this and by the way most of them drive and most of them smoke and most of them this and most of them this oh and by the way whatever you say just do it in 15 minutes you think I went I didn't go why it's a complete waste of time what do you want me to tell them fairy tale you want me to tell him the the story of The Smurfs and gagel chasing them what do you want me to tell them Power Rangers what do you want me to tell them what do you want me to tell them if it's not what do you want me to tell them they're all driving on Shabbat to your house you think you're doing a mitvah all you have is a restaurant open on Shabbat he thinks he's doing a Mitzvah hosting 200 people that are driving week after week to his house it's not a Mitzvah if you know they're going to continue driving they're not keeping Shabbat so I told them what kind of what is this why why are you doing this why why can't I say he goes no if you tell them they're not going to come back I said okay at least they're going to keep Shabbat at least they're going to keep these are going to be Jewish now but we don't know what or this the reality is people don't understand that our mitv are not an option they're an obligation when a person goes to the story that I did he realizes that Hashem will send you different messages he'll send you a short message like a WhatsApp a text message you're not going to answer he's going to send you a call a letter you not going to answer he's going to show up at your house the message gets stronger my message was near the end what I do is I try to save people from getting to that point when I realize that my world's upside down and I'm living the wrong life we started realizing we have to start doing Chua little by little my wife started doing chuba little by little we started investigating Christianity which is what she was born by investigating it we found out the whole thing is fake it's not that it's second best it's not that it's that it's for the other people it's 100% idol worship and you can prove it by just looking at their book which you shouldn't because it's a complete waste of time but anyway anyone that's in the business that knows what they're doing and knows how to decipher we'll see that there's a mistake in literally every single page in their book a mistake I'm not talking mistake you have to be a big to figure out mistake you just read need to know the five books of most you know it's a mistake for example it says how many people came down to Egypt with 70 how many is the New Testament say 75 meaning there God forgot how to count where's the today where was it before always right they have the wrong address they put it in the wrong place in their book different City NA Bliss not even close it's a joke but the thing is most people two billion people haven't checked that's why they believe this nonsense wrong address wrong numbers wrong calculations we start realizing there's a mistake a little by little we started realizing okay we have to do something we saw the movie byi Torah and science which was the final thing for her the final proof for her that she's going to accept Judaism on the spot she accepted everything we studied we learned we went to the bed same day we had a but the most extraordinary part of the tale is that when hasm says I am God your healer you say it every day after after if you're not hurry to run out of the sh after there a couple of things you say and it also it says the verse in the Tora says I am God your healer if you do all of my mitv I won't bring the disease on you because I'm God your healer this is in your after prayer said at least so this is in our Torah nowm like I told you sometimes he talks to you behind the scenes sometimes he shows I'm here so the day of our conversion what no one knew except her and I is that I have another infection that's extremely painful and I have to go to the hospital right after the instead of going to to have the I have to go to the emergency room is one of the probably the biggest infection I ever had and these infections kept growing and growing and growing until either I had a surgery or something worse would happen it's like having a cancer cell that doubles in size every day so I had one of those it was extremely painful but I was too excited because my wife was now going to become a righteous Jew he everything overnight unbelievable not really overnight but point is is that we accepted everything we just everything we need to know we're already in it for a couple years by then now all I know is that immediately when she finishes I need to go to the emergency room and hopefully survive we have the test the bettin asked the questions she passes the test with flying colors they say now it's time to go to the mik she goes to the mik my pain stops instantly now at this point I'm so excited about the conversion I'm not really asking too many questions of why did my pain stop I don't really care it stopped who's going to complain but after she comes back we're so excited we're like wow it's amazing wow is a picture we had a Skype session between us and R FR to tell them the good news and so on and you see there's like literally there's like a the sunish shining on our faces it's something unbelievable I don't know how don't explain don't ask me for explanations for such things all I know is what I saw and you I can show it to you and I also know that my pain stopped now as soon as she comes out she goes okay so we're going to the hospital I said no why are you okay said I'm not in pain if I'm not in pain I'm not going to the hospital go have a right now have to go said we have to be married today why because we live together there's no time to waste she's not going to move to a different apartment we have to we have to be kosher kosher if you're going to be kosher 100% 99% kosher is 100% 99% truth is 100% lie so we go to the hotel to get dressed and I go into the shower to change clothes to take a shower I take off my clothes and I see something unusual what's unusual my whole body is full of blood full of blood the infection apparently there was a surgery I just wasn't aware of it there was a surgery I just wasn't aware of it surgery happened the infection is out completely hasm did something no hospital no infection no nothing and it wasn't a illusion it wasn't a something there's blood everywhere now if you don't believe it it's your problem I know what I saw my wife saw also because every it was everywhere just the clothes were full of it it's just again you don't feel it because you have the suit on you everything else T everything else you don't feel like you just feel like there's something unusual you don't really know what's going on maybe it's sweat it's really hot outside who knows the last thing you think is that you're full of blood so you didn't go go to a war nobody shot you so but that's what happened hasem says I'm glad you're healing you want to heal do what I said at that moment we realized even more so hashm runs the show at that point we can you know we continued becoming more and more religious dedicating more and more time to Torah less and less to business business became really immaterial to us we just cared less about it even though the money continued deteriorating by the time we got down to only about a half a million dollars which in comparison to what we used to have was nothing I was already starting to give started because my Rabbi told me listen says if you're learning T without an intention to teach it it's like someone who doesn't have a God because you're supposed to learn to to emulate to learn his midot his number one mid that's obvious is he gives so how you going to take the toah the number one thing in all of creation not share it teach students you don't have students teach your family you don't have a family teach yourself you have to teach somebody Torah is not just for you to keep so you have to share it I said I don't know anything was okay so anything that you don't know and anything you do know combine it together and teach them that whatever you can teach something learn teach that teach something Basics is what we need in this generation you think most people know CH they don't know they learned it when they were like even I'm talking about from people I'm not talking about really secular from people learned CH when they were six seven eight nine years old I tell people CH sometimes Rashi like wow what it's Rashi I haven't got over it in 15 20 years when you learn T is a 20 or 25 or 30 or 35 year old it's very different than learning when you were 5 10 or 15 you're brain is different you understand something different so Basics are a necessity that means that everybody can teach toah everybody especially you guys that are learning T you don't need to give is not really for most people in this generation new insights the new you you know thinking you're the new Rashi new R new to you know you don't need to be you just know basic You Know M you know how to read you can teach tah that's what the generation me so we started teaching we started getting people to keep shabat we started getting people to do CH and hasm wanted to make sure that we know what he wants he says listen this business you have that's making you a few dollars a month and you have half a million dollars still it's really a distraction so I'm going to take that too one day at 9:30 in the morning I have my money I have some clients money everything looks good by 9:36 some crazy anomaly it's called a Black Swan in the business terms happens literally everything is gone trade goes wrong my value of whatever I had left goes to zero this in almost 20 year career has never happened to me it never doesn't happen to most people it happened on that day but that day happened to be a Tuesday on Tuesdays I have my sh so at 9:35 I lost all the money that was left at 9:36 the computer was turned off at 9:37 I said God gave God took may his name be blessed at 9:38 I started learning T because I have to prepare for my why I'm notu I'm not even the dust under his foot but I do know who runs the show it's God if God wanted me to have the money I'll have the money if he doesn't that means it's bad for me if he wanted you to be rich you'd be rich you don't need to help him what he does want from you is the same thing he wanted from me he wants you to learn he wants you to teach you don't know enough to teach focus more on learning a year two years three years have an intention have a plan to teach somebody you're scared of talking in public and so on me too but I know that when they paid me in the business world for 20 years to talk in public I did it I overcame the fear why because it was money for money we do everything Hashem says I also pay cash I also pay just different level of cash it's Eternal cash so if we remember where the where the source of all blessing is all of a sudden we start overcoming fear all of a sudden the the the responsibilities the obligations the we can start beating him because we're playing with the right tools you boys have Torah you have eternity you think that they have anything when you say every day who are you referring to the homeless guy in the street in San Francisco doesn't have a house that no you're supposed to be referring to the best of them you're referring to the best of them if you think it's Trump then it's Trump if you think it's is whoever it is it is him the best of them the richest of them the best looking of them the best of them that I'm not himem that I'm not him why I have tah T is eternity when the Arabs pray they pray in the middle of the street in New York they pray in the middle of the street every day they close off the streets for them to pray they close off the streets when they pray in the airport they pray in the street everybody thinks this guy's going to blow up the plane but the reality is he doesn't care what they think with his little magic carpet in the middle of the street why he's proud I'm jealous of him I'm jealous of the Arabs why they're proud they have falsehood and they're proud of their falsehood the Christians they open a church with 5,000 members in every corner yesterday there was a fair next to my brother's house there's some church maybe I don't know a mile away people were like literally coming out they had a whole Luna Park whole type of thing I mean just the show they had probably cost a half a million dollars people are filling in they have food and this and theatrics like a like a circus outside of their Church to raise money for them easy why every single one of them knows that to give 10% which they call tith which to us as it's the minimum requirement not it doesn't make you a sadik it's the minimum requirement why because they're proud of their falsehood they go door to door sir do you know JC Penny let us show you let us tell you about him yeah but I'm Jewish okay so we'll teach you about the Jewish version they go door too with their idolatry with their AB caring less if it has Aza or anything else why they're proud of their falsehood we have the truth but we play like we have falsehood we're ashamed we're embarrassed we pray in the airport in the corner so no one sees we pray in the corner so no one sees in the corner I don't want to bother them what bothered them why are you bothering them having a on somebody ask you what is this see this is what the mashia is going to look like this is what the mhia is going to look like with the beard and the hat and the and theine on his head that's what the mashia is going to look like what you g think it's going to look like the sa you have as a God the JC Penny that's the mashiah where you think it's going to be Muhammad that kills people for fun this is what the Masia is gonna look with the on his head you could say that a nicer way but the point is be proud you have to be proud you're a Jew you have t you have stop playing scared you're the one that has the truth they pray in the middle of the street where barely you willing to go to scho sometimes you tell people teach to no but what if they say they don't like it did Hashem say oh listen teach only if they like it teach only if they're going to listen to you every single one of the prophets gave a message that no one wanted to listen to including M says thatu got to a point that all of is thought that he's stealing their wives stealing their wives mosenu took them out of Egypt everybody's like oh he's he's he's taking out wives why because mosenu left his wife because he wanted to be next to hm 247 says you can't be with your wife any me at the same time so m understood it in his own level that I can't be with my wife intim anymore so everyone says oh M he's left his wife why he's going maybe after our wives why would they think such a thing because the wives are listening to him and not us when the when when am asked when am is asked their wives give us your gold so we can make a the golden calf the wives said no I'm keeping my earrings go get your own gold butu says give me your jewelry give me your mirrors give me something for for for the Tabernacle that building all the women gave ah they're given to our Rabbi but they're not given to us he's with them or something something's wrong with this he dealt with this m dealt with people not wanting the message you think you're not going to deal with it but that's the point every single one of the prophets had to deal with people going against them that's how you know you have the truth people going to go against you so I know it's easy to like the material world I was in it money houses the whole gas behind it the whole thing around it all fancy schmancy this guy has another house and he's building an extension to his house and there's another floor and there's another car and there's more jewelry and all these different things but schl already told us it's all nonsense I'm telling you it's all nonsense I'm telling you it's the same thing why I lived it I saw it at the time of need at the time of need all of you are G to pray for what you have today at the time of need when you really need someone to listen when you really need someone to feel when you really need someone to help when you really need anything only hasem can help you if you have his T he's going to say you asked I'm here you asked I'm here why because you made my house your house you made your house my house I'm there but if we treat to like it's a Harry Potter book and we just read whenever we like and we do whenever we like and we take the business world and the money world and the material world as you know as priority over money over over our tah says okay it's more important you go look for help over there don't sell AEM because we have many Jewish businessmen but we have very few Jews be the Jew the business will come to you anyway and that's why today despite the fact that we lost all of the money we had we live much better without an exaggeration than any other time in my life I don't know where the money is coming from people donate in different ways different times and so on and so forth but I don't know how much all I know is that whatever we need we buy when I go to the supermarket we just buy whatever we need I have no idea how who what when and where no clue all I know is get whatever we need I saw my Rabbi do it this is what I do when I went to Israel I saw my Rabbi shopping for Shabbat he said bring a cart I said but you already have one he goes exactly okay somebody else come he goes yeah you and Hashem and everybody else so I said okay fine now he doesn't shop like us what does he do he sees something on on the thing that he likes or somebody likes instead of taking one or two maybe looking at the price something like that he does this he goes this to the aisle and he just pours it into the cart he gets bred with two arms it's unbelievable you would think 500 people are showing up you would think he makes I don't know 10 $220,000 a day I didn't shop like this when I had Millions I'm like what is he doing what's going on here now I thought this is like a joke maybe a one time thing but I was there for two months it's every week and he buys and he buy and where's the money come from we have no idea so I saw this with my own eyes and he's filling up his card and he finished his card so he starts filling up my card I said no but I don't want he goes I do and he's buys and he buys and why shabbat Shabbat coming okay they eat Shabbat yeah Shabbat so he gets the food and Shabbat over there is unbelievable and I'm seeing this it's like must the sight to be it's it's unbelievable and I just see him shopping and shopping and shopping as if there's 500 people nobody showing up accept my wife and I and there's two babies what do we have nothing we barely eat but Shabbat can why hm's there's there and you feel it so I see him and so we go to the cashier now I have some money on me so I'm thinking okay he probably makes $500 a month off the col what does he make the shopping here that we just bought is maybe $1,000 meaning that the call doesn't pay for half what the shopping is every it doesn't make any sense so I'm thinking okay this going before there's any bu I'm already starting to grab some credit cards so he gives the C to the uh teller it goes through I have no idea what just happened we leave like I said why what happened he goes you just witnessed a miracle I said what Miracle he goes it went through he goes what do you mean it went through what do you mean is a miracle you didn't know you have it he goes no how would I know what I have in the bank because you think I spend any time looking at my bank that's I saw it I'm trying to do it I saw it I'm trying to do this how we live we don't charge for lectures because we don't want money to get in the way of Kes someone wants to donate you don't want to donate doesn't make a difference anyway pays the bills we have a need we buy it how I have no idea what I'm trying to tell you is you don't need to help AEM with what you need to help is you need to help yourself with something need to learn some more and some more and some more and some more and eventually use it utilize it to teach because am is is still in the there far away teach them get them over here instead of there being 10 20 guys make there be 200 show them how beneficial it is to learn from hasem show them how good it is why because when you have to you have everything all of a sudden your brain works the right way all all of a sudden you understand the reason for your problems the Torah doesn't solve your problems it gives you a reason behind them problems don't go away you just know why though you know where it's coming from when someone asks you where was God during the Holocaust you tell them what do you mean he was right there pressing the button that's what it says says in the you do what I say everything's going to be good 13 verses of blessings you don't do good 48 blessing 48 curses 48 things of what's going to happen and you see through the vers is exactly description of what happened in the Holocaust even says that the enemy will have a symbol of an eagle the the Nazis didn't have a power outside of God it was God himself pushing the pushing the buttons same thing with the Egyptian same thing with the Romans same thing with everything else so what you're doing right now is what you're doing right now to finalize everything we just talked about is don't think that money is p money is not P nothing what you're doing right now is you're saving lives number one you save yourself you save yourself by learning everything and so on and so forth the RAB is teaching you an enormous amount of to every second you learn you're saving yourself second thing is you start teaching it to your family to your friends to anyone that would listen and even if they don't listen why because you're saving their life and when your friend is standing on the train tracks and the train is coming at the very least be a friend tell him hey buddy get out of the way the train's coming if he's still driving on Shabbat if he still thinks he's the one making money if he still has a saf about who what when and how in regards to Creation but you teaching him toah he saving his life what you're doing is much more important than any doctor in the world any lawyer in the world any executive in the world anything in the world why you have the truth and you can save people with it so this gives all of us a little bit of to start taking our Torah seriously and realize this is where the gold is this is where the prize is there's nothing in the world better not in an illusion not in theory not in reality not in anywhere right here it's the best place in the world BM we start living that way we start fulfilling hashem's will and may hm be shem's name be blessed forever and ever any questions go ah same price for question maybe uh I understand that the number one commandment for men is to learn they were saying that if we are learning to R the purpose of that is that we need to teach other people um but at the same time there is this responsibility like if you teach something wrong all the sins of the people that you teach they're going to be like yours too they're going to be considered like you did so it's an example I'm just saying you know my background I I come from like um conservative kind of so I was teach like some other stuff like and and he an example I say like all right that's what is right and I teach it like that and making a and even like in the Orthodox work I I understand that you say like no to wig right but there are like a lot of r that say like oh no you need to wear a wig so what I'm saying like how how do you know when you can start teaching because this is the thing I mean I'm just I I'm afraid of hasim you know like that he can say like you are making my my my sons to make Aim so that's worse than even no teaching does that make any sense right so the answer to that first off is the beginning of wisdom is fear of hem so having fear of hem already is half to battle so the fact that you're afraid is going to is going to ensure that you're going to double check everything before you start teaching it that's number one second thing is don't teach anything you don't know for sure unless you know for sure meaning you could actually look with your eyes and see that the basic commentary says this is what it is Rashi says this Ram says this this is what it is in essence all you're doing is you're reading it only teach if you know for for sure if you don't know for sure don't say a word don't say I think it should none of that second thing is use the least amount of your opinion as you possibly can preferably zero opinion your opinion is worth zero just like my opinion is worth zero all we care about is hashem's opinion as soon as we start putting our opinion into the Torah we we ruin it we ruin it so use less opinion more hashem's opinion so that's the so there's fear there's less opinion there's only doing things that you know for sure and in regards to anyone that teaches wrong the reality is it's because they're either not careful or because they don't care whatever the case may be in a conservative reform and all of those people they know the truth they just choose otherwise now even they will do chuva and whoever doesn't there's enough room in G on for them too but the point isai is that the reality is that you have an opportunity to learn the T in a very simple way why it's it's given to you in the old days you have to travel to a different town to get somebody that has a book stay at his house for two three months till you finish the book and then go home today you need anything it's a phone call away it's a button away it's a book away everything is accessible so to get the truth is very very simple now when you're getting books make sure that the book comes from a kosher publisher when you have a rabbi make sure the rabbi is a kosher Rabbi so it's there's PL plenty of ways to verify everything in the world and just like you would double check a deal for a million dollars 50 times before you do it check what you're going to say 50 times before you do it because there's a consequence to it like you said so if you were going to buy a house you would double check you do an inspection you would send somebody for a second opinion a third opinion a fourth opinion a fifth opinion you double check an investment same thing with Tora you have you have something it says make sure that that's what it says double check with your Rabbi is this what he means is this what it says double check once you know for sure that's what it means that's the that's the simple meaning publicize it to the rest of the world and again when you limit it and it has no opinion you're already you're already deducting 90% of the errors that happen usually the errors happen because we use our opinion because we think our opinion actually matters we think that our opinion is very valuable and the reality is that people's opinions are what what has ruined the Torah over the last 3,000 years K had an OP opinion he had an opinion he said listen there's a seph house full of so that's more valuable than having a muza on the wall M says logically it makes sense but that's not aem's rule we still have to have a mu said I don't agree with it yeah it's your opinion it's your opinion your opinion is irrelevant so don't use your opinion use what say what said and you'll stay out of trouble that way next question question about you said battle for seven years in excruciating pain okay and after seven years you met Fring but seven years what kept you going well I mean one was false false illusion that it was going to be over I never thought that it was going to be seven years when I first started I thought that this is it first two months were over so I figured okay it's gone three years right then after two years you know of it going and then three years of going through it I started realizing okay this is not going away but hopefully the next surgery so I always had this false sense of hope that you know we're going to find our solutions that we kept going to different doctors and we kept going trying different things um and you know we tried doing different things Tred donating money doing praying here and there doing different things putting in essence a bandage on a heart attack and trying to fix it in different ways um uh but after seven years I gave up after seven years I didn't want to go to doctor anymore I didn't want to take any medicine anymore that I didn't have to uh and I got to a point of being completely hopeless so for that that my hope my false sense of hope lasted that long because I kept going to different things trying new things so okay so the first 30 doctors weren't good okay number 31's going to that's the Messiah so you go to the 31 31 doesn't work you go to 32 yet is going to come to you 2,000 times 2,000 times going to come to you to make you make a sin now if he fails 2,000 times what does he do another 2,000 times he isn't finished yet is going to give you a false sense of hope as much as possible that's why it says everything is from hem except fear of hem you doing the right thing or the wrong thing that's in your hands everything else is in the hands of hm yet is going to try to make you do the wrong thing constantly only you can decide okay this is wrong I shouldn't do it and that's it that's Chua chuv is for all of us everybody has to do Chua to some extent some people for Shabbat some people for some people for their eyes some people for wasting seed some people for a million and a half different things there's a lot of things we need to do chuba and the reality is today is that Chua is not easy at all but it's necessary nothing good in the world is easy amuna is not easy talking about amuna is nice it's enjoyable there's good stories developing amuna is very difficult and the reason why is because there's two ways that you need to learn amuna one is from books or from the rabbis and two is from experience meaning a nightmare experience that's how you learn amuna you don't learn amuna purely from books you could read books from here until the world ends it's not you're not going to develop full amuna from books amuna is developed through experience that's whym says to the prophet I am God that teaches you to help you what do you mean teaches you to help you what what other reason would you teach me meaning he's teaching you to these difficult experiences he's teaching you you didn't have a car and you didn't believe you're going to get a car and now you have a car but you had to go through a whole journey to finally get the car why was the whole what was the whole journey for why didn't hasm just give you the car right away because you wanted Jew to learn that eventually there's going light at the end of the tunnel don't lose hope so quickly whena and his wife all they had to their name was Kash was straw they F felt bad for themselves said shows up as a poor man he says excuse me we we need some kush we need some straw we had a baby we need you haven't you happen to have any straw oh straw we have they have nothing else all they have is straw so they give him straw straw he a sack of straw strong so ask if you're already sending why you selling with like a check for a million doar you know that they need you know that they're poor they feel bad about themselves if you already know give give El you already sent them he already went through the whole journey of coming send him with a check for a nice cool million or maybe a a box full of diamonds or something why are you sending him with asking him for cash asking for straw what's what kind of Le is this if came with a check it would only solve the problem temporarily because the problem is not the money the problem is is that until that day we didn't know how to be happy until that day we thought that someone that is a sheeld someone that's Rich has a lot of money what hasem was trying to teacha is is who's rich happy with a share you weren't happy with the strong now I'll show you somebody that doesn't even have the straw and it remind you that the straw is very valuable that's a that's rich be happy with what you have be happy with what you have the only reason why hasm gave you ambition to want more is not so you can want more money or more houses or more cars it's to want more Torah that's the ambition ambition is supposed to be used for that now again some people have the like that makes makes them very rich materially that made them very rich materially his like did the M was worth about a billion two every year he was very very rich but the point is that's not because they worked overtime and a second job and a third job and they didn't see their family for months at a time and had a few careers going no it's because they dedicated their life to Torah and Hashem made the rest of the world around them work and he wanted them to have money too meaning that if hasem wants you to be rich it has nothing to do with your job and I know it's difficult to believe I know but that's the point of the story the point of the story is not just a terrible experience of pain and Agony the point of the story is that despite all the money in the world it was worthless when it didn't have any but if you're learning T you're guaranteeing yourself every dollar you have in your pocket has once it has that dollar can extend me to be a million the 50 bucks sometimes people give me for for for a lecture three four hours you talk they give you $50 that $50 I can carry it for the entire Shabbat how I have no idea but at the same token if I have shopping and a shopping says oh sir it's $450 for one day the same card works also how Hashem runs the world that's the point of the Torah that you're learning hasem runs the world not the job not Wall Street not the banks not the mortgage company hasem runs the world the more we realize that the easier life becomes the more successful you become in everything you do in Torah in mitv and even in business why because now you're going in the right direction now you're doing your role and you're letting Hashem do his role you're not you're not going into his business when people have they're trying to help hem they're trying to get a second job they're trying to work overtime they're trying to do all these wheeling and dealing to do extra what is it like it's like me going into somebody else's business tell hey by the way I don't like the way you're selling stuff I don't like this I don't like this hey sir it's not your business my business mind your business get out of my store when we're asking Hashem all these questions no and trying to help him with extra jobs and extra time and extra dedication we're going into his business and he's trying to tell you hey get out of my store this is not your business mind your business go learn some go learn some go learn how to be a Jew first then you could talk to me about how to run my shop go learn how to be a Jew go learn how to do your job and that's what we have to focus on we have to learn how to do our job how do you know you're doing a good job when you're so excited about it you're advertising it to the whole world that's how you know because when you love what you do you can't help yourself you have to advertise it when Torah is coming out of your lips non-stop you're non-stop anyone you see listen this come come come I don't know what have have meeting okay five minutes no in five minutes I'll give you I'll give you something just when you're oing then you know you're doing a good job why because you're living it but you're just learning it's by yourself no one knows you're learning no one even knows you're Jewish because sometimes you can't tell the difference sometimes the Muslim the Jew the everybody looks the same sometimes the guy's embarrassed to put a keep on he puts a keepon in his pocket only when he goes to Sho put the keepon why are you embarrassed the muslim's not embarrassed the Christians not embarrassed they not embarrassed how come you're embarrassed so when you're telling people hey this is what AEM said constantly telling people telling people your wife your friends your this your that all you want to talk about is AEM and all the different things instead of talking the basketball players and the baseball players and the football players and this guy makes this much money and this guy makes that much money and the polictics are this way and Trump should do this and Trump should do that and who cares what you think about what they should do everybody talks about politics like their opinion matters what do you think Trump's going to stop because oh uh Steve said I should fire my uh Secretary of uh treasury who cares people spend their whole lives talking about things that have no effect anyway oh I think that the uh fed you know the the FED shair should increase rates who cares what you think anyway what do you think the FED chairman is gonna oh yeah you know what Steve said I should increase rates I'm gonna increase rates guys we're g to have a meeting emergency meeting Steve in the middle of us of California said I should increase rates why are you even talking about it what purpose does it serve oh yeah LeBron James just sounded signed a $50 million contract is he paying your bills why do you care how much money he makes people that talk about other people's money it's the lowest form of conversation who cares about how much he makes why do you care is he paying your bills if you a broke is he gonna send you a check in a mail Hey listen help you out because you talked about my salary last year and you watched a few games on ESPN who cares how much he makes these These are these are nonsensical conversations that yet puts in your head waste time waste time waste time waste time waste time waste time waste time why because you when you waste time that means you're not learning T you're not learning to you're not killing the you're not killing the he's winning you have t you have t you know what it means to have Tor there's eight billion people in the world eight billion people in world it's not really 8 billion it's like a rounding it's like 7.92 billion meaning they round off like 80 million which means that the 20 million Jews we know of is not even a rounding error it's not even a rounding error okay now I out of the 20 million Jews only about 3 million keep Shabbat unfortunately only 3 million out of the three million that keep Shabbat a relatively small percentage actually know Torah for those people Hashem runs the world you have eight billion people in the world just filling up space 20 million he wants them to do everything they don't always listen out of the 20 million 3 million do some stuff out of the three million only a few are superstars you're in the col you're one of those Superstars the world is created for you and you're thinking you should talk about LeBron James or Trump or any of these other people that are just filling up space it's like a guy that has a castle where you know full of diamonds but he wants to go play with sand for what you have toor you you're the Superstar you are the Superstar what are you wasting your time talking about these people go spread the news go get go recruit other people go tell Hey listen stop filling up space stop filling up space that's why the says that someone doesn't know T really really according to hasem he shouldn't be allowed to eat meat why the cow is fulfilling its role in the world he's not the cow is better than him he shouldn't be allowed to eat the cow that's what says that's what to says says someone doesn't learn to should not be allowed to eat meat we still allow it but in reality according to you shouldn't be allowed to eat the cow why cow's better than him you have t you have t you know what it means you have t you learn Torah 10 minutes an hour two hours whatever you learn every day you are part of the few that Hashem runs the world for if that's not something to celebrate and run in the middle of the street jumping around yay what is what is you understand that's what you have to wake up every day and remind yourself when you say that's what you're saying that I'm one of the few that learns to nonstop this will give you enough power to continue learning continue teaching all of you become big big teachers amen amen [Music] [Applause] [Music]