Teaching Your Son How To Pray in Judaism

Ra, is it okay for a father to help correct a son with sentences during prayer? Um, that depends. Number one, how old is the son? Number two, what is the father doing during that time? Uh, is he in the middle of prayer also? Is he not? Uh, generally it's part of it's important for the father to help his uh his children learn how to pray. Uh and there's even certain things that are exceptions that uh people wouldn't know is even possible. Like for example, I can tell you that uh we recently start I started with one of my kids uh to pray with him uh that uh to teach him how to do Amida. Now he's very little uh and uh and still very young. So but he's also a very smart kid and he's very uh you know he's he loves Hashem. So I don't want to just like teach him, okay, say this. When he gets I want to teach him, I want to actually pray with him. So what am I doing? One of the prayers that I do each day, I pray together with him where I say a few words. And then he says, he repeats after me. Now you're going to ask, wait, are you saying even amid where you're supposed to be silent? Yes, even amida when I'm supposed to be silent because for the sake of there's no problem of me saying the uh or you saying the out loud in order for you to teach your kid. So I'll say I'll actually say the name of hemat and I'll say and obviously I'll use the real name of because I'm praying also. It's not I'm not practicing. I'm actually praying and he's going to say the same exact words. And then we'll say the next few words and we're going to continue and little by little he continues to learn more and more and he starts learning more by heart and he starts remembering it and guess what I told him today soon I'm going to have to repeat after you. You're getting better than me. But the point is is that a person needs to know that it's a Torah obligation for a father to teach his son. Torah obligation for a father to teach a son. Father to teach his children Torah to to Torah. Part of Torah is knowing how to pray. Now, you also have to pick a time and a place to do it and how to do it. So, if you're at home and you you're you're praying with your uh kids and you're correcting them, there's no problem there. But if you're going to a synagogue and uh there's a lot of people there and your son makes a mistake and you say, "No, no, no, you should have said that. You should have said this." You have to understand that right now, yes, you may think that you're correcting him, but in his mind, you just murdered him. Why? Because you embarrassed him because other people could hear. So, you have to be very cognizant of of not just what's the right answer, but also when is the right time to say that right answer. In fact, the says there are certain things that even if you see your children do that's against the Torah, but they're a very very young age. Don't say anything. Why? Because again, when they're very very young, there's obviously no uh the obligation is is not the same. Number two, you can't attack them on every single mistake that they make. You have to know when and how. So, in regards to teaching your kid and telling him that he said you pronounce something incorrectly, no problem. But you also have to pick the right time and you have to make sure that you do it in a way that the child is not embarrassed. Some parents for whatever reason or another, they like embarrassing their kids. I don't know why. I don't know. Like people have this like bully mentality where they like to embarrass their kids. Ah, stupid. You don't know what you're talking about. Like they insult their kids because they that's not the right way. You have to respect your kids. You have to uh uh of course always keep that certain level of distance where you're the parent and they're the child. But that doesn't mean that doesn't give you the right to abuse them or insult them or minimize them. You have to understand that if you treat them properly, they're not only going to love you, they're going to love Hashem and the Torah. But if you're going to treat mistreat them, they're not only going to hate you, they're going to hate Hashem and the Torah because they're going to blame one on the other. So it's very important that if you teach your kids, you have a lot of patience and you know the right time and place to do certain things and how to do it. So even if let's say for example you're in shul and your son let's say makes a mistake don't say no you did something wrong. No, no. You could whisper to him or you could even guess what? You could just be quiet and not say anything. And after the shul when you're walking home and it's just you and him, you could tell him, "Oh, by the way, uh I heard uh that this is pronounced that way." And that's good. You don't have to be like a an alarm clock or not alarm clock a like a like a one of those alarms for the houses that as soon as the sensor is broken uh you uh immediately react. Sometimes you can correct them an hour later, a day later, a week later and sometimes even longer. So you have to be cognizant of the uh uh how it affects them. Some kids you could speak to them in ways where you're open with them and you're clear with them and they're very good with it. But some kids are very sensitive. So you have to speak to them differently. You have to speak to I know some of my kids when I say certain things to them some say yeah okay no problem. You know whatever it is even if I'm rebuking them about something there it's no problem. others even if I say one thing that uh is like in some direction that they don't want or immediately it's like they become emotional and they'll even cry. So you have to know how there's no there's no uh benefit in just making people cry. So you have to know how to treat each one cuz each child is different than the other. You have to if if you have students or if you have uh uh friends, people that are new to the Torah, you have to be patient with certain people and understand that mistakes are not sins that are uh that you get death penalty for. In fact, even if somebody mistakenly uh violated Shabbat, all they have to do at time of the mikdash is bring a sacrifice. Bring a sacrifice. But embarrassing a person in public, it's a it's a the uh divine death penalty. So we have to be cognizant of it, know how it affects the the person specifically based on their personality, based on the environment. But last but not least, with all of the warnings that I just said, this does not mean don't fix anything and let them continue making mistakes for the rest of their life. A parent that does not correct their children is an evil parent. Why? If they're going in the wrong direction and you don't say anything, they're going to continue going in the wrong direction and the damage will keep going getting bigger and bigger. That's what the rabbi of uh Shaulik uh taught him uh one word incorrectly. And because of that, Shaamelik did not destroy Amalik. Because of that, he didn't destroy Amalik because he thought that's the right thing to do. And it was because the rabbi did not did not correct him when he made a mistake on one word. So, it's important to correct your kids when they're mispronouncing certain things or where they make the wrong blessing. But you have to know how to do it, when to do it. And each kid is different. [Music] Let me know uh what you think and make sure to share it because other people need to learn