Jealous Husbands: Parashat Vayakhel Pekudei

Because it says that the the women whose hearts inspired them with wisdom contributed. Women were inspired. Who were they inspired by? Moshe Rabbeinu. Now the Gemara in Maseches Moed Katan says something extraordinary. It's mamash scary. Scary what the yetzer hara can do to us. The Gemara says on page 18b that Tashma. Come here, proof. Proof of what? Vayiknu al Moshe u'machaneh l'Aharon kedosh Hashem. They were jealous of Moshe and the camp of Aaron. Hashem's holy one. What do you mean they were jealous? Atah mishum sinah u'daavud. It says in that case they actually hated Moshe Rabbeinu. Who hated him? Am Yisrael hated him. Why they hate him? Why they hate Moshe Rabbeinu? He just took you out of Egypt. You k'fuyei tovah. Ungrateful people. You hate Moshe? How could hate and Moshe be in the same sentence? How could it be? He took you out of Egypt. You were slaves for 86 years. You missing arms before you get to Mount Sinai. You missing eyes, missing ears, missing heads. Egyptians, what they did to you. You hate Moshe? How you hate Moshe? Why they hate Moshe? This verse. It says in Parshas Ki Tisa we learn that unfortunately Am Yisrael did chet ha'egel. They worshipped the idol. They built the idol. They worshipped the idol. But the um Imrei Tzvi says that when the men came to the women and told them, "Listen, give us your gold." "Give us your gold. We need it for the golden calf." Women said, "No." The Jewish women said, "No." Erev Rav said, "Yes." But the Jewish women said, "No." "I'm not giving you my earrings, my bracelets, my this for for this golden calf. No interest." But then when Moshe Rabbeinu says, "Whoever's interested in contributing to the tabernacle call." Contribute. All the women gave. All the tzaddikos start taking off their earrings, their bracelets, their necklaces, their this, their jewelry, their engagement ring, their this ring, their that ring, everything else start giving to Moshe. And the men became jealous of Moshe. Why? He says, "They're listening to the rabbi, but they're not LISTENING TO THE HUSBAND." MUST BE SOMETHING WITH HIM. AND they actually told all of their women a formal warning, "You're not allowed to be with Moshe in a room alone." Why? "Maybe you have something with him. Why can't you listen to him and not me?" "How come you listen to Moshe, the rabbi, and not me?" I have a situation like this. I have many situations like this in my life because people are crazy. But I had a situation one time. Here B'ezras Hashem ask for all types of help. Sometimes they ask for shalom bayis help. Sometimes it works. I talk to the couple. We find out what the problem is. The couple actually wants to work things out. So you remind them of some things that maybe they forgot and B'ezras Hashem you fix the problem. But sometimes it's a little more complicated than that. And by sometimes it's usually 99% of the time it's like that. That in reality one of them doesn't really want to fix it. Or just happy to complain cuz they like to complain. Or they just like the way they live and they don't want to change. This creates a problem because if one person wants to change and the other one doesn't want to change creates a big problem. That's what leads to divorces and so on cuz how long you going to be with somebody that don't want to change? So sometimes you see Hashem allows you to see things before they happen. And one time there was a a woman came to me and she needed some help and the husband was complaining also. I started talking. I started realizing, you know what? It's really not the woman that's the problem. It's the husband that's the problem. It's the husband that's the problem. And I tried telling him he has to change, he has to do this, he has to do that. He decided that I'm Amalek. I'm Amalek. I am Hitler. I am Haman all wrapped into one. He did not want to listen to me because all this time he's thinking that I'm going to be his friend. And I'm going to be on his side and you know we're going to be like the uh the Muslims going to beat the wives in the public, throw some rocks at them maybe. How could you not listen? Which by the way in Islam this is a normal behavior, just so you know. There was actually a undercover um show that was made Tzvi Yehezkeli which I'll mention to you a little bit more about it later on. Later on, it's already 11. Uh I'll mention to you. He did a undercover research into the Muslim world. And something that no one's ever done before. Something unbelievable. And anyway, when he goes to uh Syria in one of his stops, he talks to a bunch of you know Muslims. And he says, "Yeah, you know I'm looking to find a bride for my for my brother-in-law." And he has this other guy that's pretending to be a Muslim also. He's like, "I'm looking for a bride for him." And they uh the Muslims are like, "Yeah, why are you going to Germany for?" He's like, "Why? There's a lot of Muslims in Germany, no?" Cuz yeah, BUT THEY THINK THEY HAVE RIGHTS OVER THERE. You're not even allowed TO BEAT YOUR WIFE. SO WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU SO HE SAYS HE PRETENDS he's playing along. He goes, "What do you mean you're not allowed to beat your wife? So who beats her then?" HE GOES, "NOBODY. THAT'S THE PROBLEM." NOBODY BEATS THE WIFE. THIS IS THIS is this is THIS IS WHAT WE'RE dealing with, Abba Tate. This is what we're dealing with. Sometimes actually unfortunately Jews act like this, too. They also think that they're Muslims. And they beat their wives. I have a situation like this. There's one guy beats his wife on a weekly basis. She gave him eight kids. He gives her a beating. Eight kids she gave him. He gives in return a beating. And he makes her sleep in a separate room. She's not allowed to sleep with him in the same bed. Why? Cuz he thinks he's uh I don't know who he thinks he is. This people and he calls himself religious. Not like uh this is a uh calls himself religious. Religious. So anyway the Torah by the way, just so you know Torah says that someone that beats his wife has to be warned immediately by the rav. If he continues, if he continues, he must be put on cherem. Meaning you cannot count him for minyan, you cannot accept him in the kehillah, you cannot do business with him. The Torah is strictly against any man touching a woman. Strictly against it. A man that hits his wife, first of all, may Hashem cut off his hands. Second of all it probably will happen soon. And third of all, the kehillah is not allowed to accept him, pray with him, do business with him, or even talk to him. He's been put on a cherem if he's not willing if he's not going to stop. Such people do not deserve to live in my opinion. If it was a mistake or this or that, he lost his cool one time, it's a different story. But some of these people make it a habit. Torah is strictly against such people. So the people of Israel unfortunately were jealous of Moshe Rabbeinu because their wives listened to Moshe and did not listen to them. And the same thing l'havdil me or Moshe, but the point is same thing happened to me more than once where I tried to help a couple and the husband thought that oh "If he's not on my side, that's because he likes my wife." "He likes my wife. That's all I need is another wife." B'ezras Hashem one wife. I love my wife. She's the greatest wife in the world. I don't need another one. What do I need another one for? One's enough. We're not allowed in Judaism anyway at this point. Rabbeinu Gershom 1,000 years ago made a g'zeirah. Polygamy is no longer allowed. Even though according to Torah it's allowed, but 1,000 years it was forbidden. 1,000 years ago we're not allowed anymore. But the point is, Abba Tate people are crazy. And I deal with them on a daily basis. So rabbi {slash} psychiatrist {slash} therapist {slash} kabbalist {slash} all types of things {slash} a lot of things. So now usually when I have such situations where I see that there's a problem I already tell people ahead of time. If it's the husband is the problem, I see from the beginning I say, "By the way, just so you know I'm going to try to do help you whatever way I can, but I'm just letting you know. I'm going to tell you the truth, whatever the truth is." "Your husband's probably not going to agree with me cuz he's the problem. I'm letting you know that it's only a matter of time before he thinks that I like you." "Or you like me or something like that." Ahead of time. And this is like clockwork. It happens one time after another. Why? How can I listen to a rabbi and not listen to my wife? I'll listen to a husband. That's what happened. People don't want to see anything wrong with themselves. They do not want to see anything wrong with themselves. And this is a problem that didn't just start now. This is a problem that started already since creation. So anyone that is looking for ways to [music] better his situation, protect himself, protect his family from the horrific situation that's around us, terrorism [music] and everything else, they must understand that the only way is to increase Torah. More Torah, more life.