How Do You Handle Your Kids At Home During Quarantine?

[Music] so how do you handle kids right now that everybody is in the quarantine their home in some places like in Israel you're not even allowed to go outside but Hashem by meat was still allowed to go outside it's not going to the park but still walking around the the street I don't know every so often get some fresh air the kids need it adults sometimes yes sometimes no but kids for sure need to go outside a little bit but in some places they can't so what do you do you have done is it all depends on the on your kids depends on you know any how old your kids are and how developed they are mentally but most importantly you have to understand the kids can't are not like adults or teenagers that could just sit there look at the wall do nothing all day or sleep all day kids have to be active they have to do something you have to occupy them you have to give them all types of tasks to occupy them but kosher tasks now if you followed already the first thing that we discussed in the beginning of the lecture which is you taught them what's allowed what's not allowed and they know that there are certain things that are on the screen on the phone or on a computer that's allowed and certain things not allowed so that means that you can give them certain shows or programs or lectures to watch that are allowed don't ever give them freedom to pick themselves you have to monitor it you have to as a parent as a big brother as a supervisor if the monitor and you have to allow the the kids to watch something this can occupying their mind for a half hour at a time ten minutes at a time whatever it is some type of educational show a lecture something that's kosher but kosher from a leaf a tough not like you know coaster ish like it has to be kosher if it's about animals if it's about Torah if it's about olive pit if it's about ABC if it's about math all of these things are good subjects to teach your kids and you can have all these wonderful programs there's also a wonderful website called tor alive tor alive is a fantastic website organization that has a countless videos that teach Torah but in video format that many Jewish schools are adapting now beau Hashem and applying to to the school curriculum this is fantastic tool for both schools and for parents to use to teach their kids different meets vote so this is something that you could have the kids watch and it's about all types of things the videos that have watched have been fantastic about feeling about Pesach about the shaba daba da returning something that was lost key Ducie shame all types of videos they have with it's called Torah live every video that I've watched so far from there from time to time I get an email from them and I watch some of their stuff and it's fantastic work they have a new program that came up for a pestsof really really nice stuff pointers on bowtie this is another tool that you could use to teach the kids Torah but in an entertaining way you should also teach them some math and some language from wherever they are kids are much more inclined to learn from videos than you are from books in the beginning you'd still have to teach them from books now you don't abandon the books but you have to do a little bit of this okay if you read one page if we read together one page or one story or one policy ah from the book well watch the video you do a deal with them but that's once they're developed a little bit 6 7 8 years old when they're 3 4 years old there's not much negotiating why you pretty much tell them something they don't like they start crying so there's not much negotiate is you have to work with them you have to give them activities other activities could be puzzles have them may know build puzzles that you could do on Shabbat even or during the week painting drawing you know all types of different exercises you can even have them help you clean the house even though they're not really cleaning because they don't know how to clean they could protect to clean and you can pretend they're cleaning but at least they're active keep them active you know don't just send them outside to play basketball and I'll see you at 8 o'clock at night that's not gonna be good it's not gonna be good for the kids not gonna be good for the parent you have to give them activities that develop their brain and at the same time are keeping them you know in the system don't just send them outside or to their room and just pretty much hope the days over before before too long that's not gonna be good so there's some specific videos that you could educate them or CDs that you could hear lectures maybe they can watch me I have some students that are one years old two years old three years old but we have students at all ages parents sent me the pictures of their babies watching my lectures they're better than you guys they're focused they don't even fall asleep during a lecture there are into the lecture two years old just above zero seven years old I got one kid is already listening to me for four years he started at 70s now 11 tell me calm so point is up with taught you have to give the kids some lectures sometimes don't like me sometimes don't like somebody else as long as it's kosher you have to get them to watch it every day there has to be two other kids must learn to her every day must I live it I've recommended many times the program by rabbi gold rabbi golden head of society as a program it's like $40 you buy it download it to your computer and it teaches you the biblical language from the basics out of bed given dollars all the way to top tune and any code all of the all of the little dots and why and who and why and how to build words there are also similar programs in English and I'm sure in other languages the reason why I keep mentioning the other language is because again it's if you're going to be living in this world you're gonna have to know the language and so you have to have some basic language skills to know how to speak to in order to communicate to know how to eventually do your own things it's not good for a person to be completely ignorant you know some people are in America for 20-25 years still don't know to speak English it's ridiculous you should know I'm not saying be an expert be a scholar or even write books in that language but you need to have some basic common skills even more so for your kids I mean it's a so some language is is important but again that's after you've done the basics like teaching them and so on puzzles games painting music you know these are some of the things you could teach them but the biggest thing of all appetite is to designate a certain amount of your time as a parent to spend it with them meaning many times parents lose their patience with their kids not because the kids are bad but rather because the parents want to take care of the kids and their business at the same time take care of the kids and their other obligations at the same time so in reality they're in both worlds at the same time the kid notices it and realizes the parent is not really into this activity so he's not really into the activity he doesn't want to do it either so he starts acting out and the parent thinks it's just because the kid is a bad kid or is spoiled but it's not true it's because the kid is simply a reflection of the parent when the kid sees the parents not really interesting in this in his activity and his drawing in his painting in his book and it says then the kids not interested in it so you have to designate a certain amount of time every day to just turn off your phone put it somewhere else turn off all of your obligations whatever they may be and spend a little bit of time with the kid just what the kid doing the activity with him doing the activity with her and you'll see that the kid is much more into it it can't be the whole day because you still have your responsibilities to have to clean just love to cook you still have to work and all that other stuff but you have to spend a certain amount of time with the kid dafter why because yeah the kid has to know that these things are good and the only way he's gonna determine that is if you're willing to do them also so that's difficult when you have a very busy schedule so I cut those but who made you less busy now they're in quarantine quarantine so that's a another thing you could do and I promise you that these things are not easy but they work they work I see it from my own my own life my own family oh gosh I'm I have a wife that knows all this stuff and does all of it both of them but the point is is that even for people that know it it's not always easy you know because sometimes you have health issues you have my financial issues you have family issues you have all types of distractions that make you forget or or not remember some of these things point being is it's always good to refresh yourself a little bit and try again most most importantly the bowtie is that know that the kid he is a pro is your product he's your product if you yell he'll yell if you curse II curses if you like to LA he likes to uh if you appreciate meets what he appreciates me to it so that's the point that's what you have to understand it's a you have to educate by example next question [Music] you [Music] you [Music] [Applause] [Music]