Saving Our Marriage (6 minutes)

[Music] so the question is why do we need to be religious but not just religious religious meaning with the with the T and with and not some idolatry that's out there in the world or some type of cult but M how can we connect to hem and why should we why should we anyone that's done chuva can tell you that doing chuva is very difficult in the beginning because you pretty much have to admit that everything you've believed your whole life whether it's 20 30 40 50 or 60 years has been a lie so your whole world collapses immediately why because you realize everything you knew to be true is actually false but why should somebody make such a move why should we do such a thing why should we turn our worlds upside down now if you look at just simple recent history you'll see that before the world that we live in today before the Western world became so predominantly atheist and people that are just going against Hashem in different ways even in the name of religion before that you saw that marriages actually survived but not only survived divorce was a bad word if someone got divorced everyone would know and they would literally frown upon it it would be unheard of like what do you mean why are you getting divorced what's wrong did you cheat cheat did you lie like why would you get divorced divorce was unheard of simply because everyone knows you have problems in marriage it happens there's ups and downs sometimes you love sometimes you're not exactly in love but nonetheless there's ups and downs like in any relationship in the world the point of every relationship is for the two people to make the best out of it by making each other better not making ourselves better making each other better meaning bring the best out of each other by making 1+ 1 equal three not 1 plus one equal to cuz that makes us individuals by making 1 plus one equal to more than just what we would be by ourselves nonetheless when we were connected to Hashem we had an instruction manual that told us that schom is so significant hasem is willing to change the truth if you will for it one M that happened that we learn about in seph was when the Angels Came to Abu and they told him listen said that uh next year this time next year you're going to have a son now his wife Sarah that was KES kashim left she left why she left she said how am I going to have a son with a husband that's so old so hasm came to AB ainu and he says why did Sarah laugh why did Sarah laugh why did she laugh saying that I can't have any children or that how could I have any children when I am so old she she didn't say I am so old she actually said my husband is so old why did Hashem change the truth if you will he changed it because or avoided mentioning that specific sentence he changed it simply because he knew that if he told Abu that his wife thought he was old he create schlite issues so didn't need to be told it didn't need to be told it just she did something that wasn't good it doesn't necessarily mean that we need to know all the det tells it's wrong enough we understand that when we have a Tor we have a manual we have a manual that tells us that we have to survive we have to struggle together we have to survive together we have to enjoy together we don't we don't live like the go that are pretty much here today gone tomorrow we don't have this mentality as Jews that uh you know the relationship is no different a marriage is no different than a boyfriend girlfriend this is why in Judaism there's no living together before you get married if you going to be married you're going to be married it's not you're not going to be together for five or 10 years and then decide if you like each other so you look at it statistically and you see that the divorce rate over the last 100 years to say it increased is an understatement at this point in the Western World over 80% 80% of the couples get divorced this is an awful statistic so much so that it's almost to a point where you might as well not get married because you should already plan your second wedding they said there was a when one Rabbi says to Shalom he says to them I'm telling you I think I'm going to start a new business what's a new business you have a business you have a wedding hall he goes yeah I think I'm going to start a new business what's a new business I'm going to start a divorce Hall why there's many more people getting divorces than there is people getting uh married so the point isai is that when we don't have the instructions we have no idea how to be husbands we have no idea how to be wives we don't have no idea how to be anything when you have the Tora you know that first of all you have to be afraid of hm you need to know hm is watching why is that important to be afraid of hem because if Hashem is watching if that's the sign of wisdom that means that before I yell at my wife I'm gonna say hasm doesn't like it before I steal I say heym doesn't like it before I get angry before I become stingy before I do anything that we all know is wrong inside us we all know is wrong I'm going say he's watching on top of it on top of it I know that there's a that says that when a husband and a wife have a merit of having schom the of hem comes down just like it did at Mount sa so anyone that wants Miracles anyone that wants all the good things in the world the number one job they have every morning aside from honoring AEM is to work on their relationship it's a full-time job and to make sure that that relationship not only survives but prospers [Music] [Applause]