POST TESHUVA CHALLENGES

[Music] somebody asked online and uh I'll answer that question and hopefully that gives you guys some more ideas they say I've been keeping Shabbat and Kosher for last few months so Hashem could give me something but after I've done all of this stuff like chuva I still didn't get it and bad things just keep happening so why after doing these mitv nothing good is happening this believe it or not is a fantastic question it's a question that I battled with myself when I first started doing Chua when I was when I first started doing Chua I was very very sick and my business was going into the toilet I lost almost 90% of what I had but still there was still a few million dollars left I figured that hopefully from what I have left Hashem will build me back I'll get back in and I'll uh get healthy and so on and so so forth and I started praying and I started learning and I started reading T I would read almost the entire book of T every two days 150 T every couple of days with tears with crying with this and I was sure that not only good things were going to happen right away but I was sure God was going to talk to me you start you go cry three four five hours straight to on the 35th floor in New York you're going to start thinking that H is going to start talking to you IU me same thing well guess what not only did hasem not talk to me but bad things continue to happen in fact they got worse I lost 80% and then I lost the rest too 100% loss balance went to zero actually went to negative the health continued to deteriorate hospitals pain all types of wonderful things and it was hard to understand how and who and what and when until I started paying closer attention to the things that I was reading in the Tor and I realized that all of these mitv that hasem said to do he didn't tell me do them so now I'm going to do whatever you want he said do them because I'm God that's it meaning he's not promising us that if you do this he's guaranteeing that everything that you ever desire and want and so on he's just going to write a check for it immediately anyone that tells you that if you start keeping Shabbat you're going to start making a lot of money if you start watching your bit you're going to start making a lot of money if you're going to start doing such and such everything is going to work out if they say it in that type of tone they're a liar why Hashem doesn't owe you anything can it happen yes does it entice AEM for it to happen absolutely but always remember hem does not dance to our tune if we violated his mitv for 15 20 25 35 45 years and all of a sudden we started keeping Shabbat and mitv and started learning for 6 months what do you think you ruined everything for 30 years now for 6 months you're a Golden Boy and everything's going to be okay it's going to take a little longer than 6 months to fix 30 years of damage just like anything else in life if you go and you work for a company and you work and you work and you work and you develop and you go up the ladder and so on and so forth and one day you make a mistake and that mistake cost the company a million 2 million $3 million now if that company's smart they're not going to fire you why they just spent $3 million educating you what's the point of firing you now you know what it what what not to do now you know what not to do they firing you that's not going to get anybody any good now you know what not to do okay we just spent $3 million sending you to College of learning what not to do fine okay now that you know this you have an experience that nobody else in the company has okay so can I get a ra no that you can't get what can can I get a raise this year absolutely not can I get raised next year maybe most likely not why well you just lost $3 million buddy it's going to take a while for your work to get you to a point where you've made up for this damage you caused so we've caused damage for a certain amount of time by not following the mitv by walking around immodestly and getting to sin as a result of it by stealing by cheating by Lying by doing all of these things that said no so okay so now you're starting to do the stuff he said to to do good you're obligated to do it anyway and for you to get on the good list and get all the things that you want it's probably going to take a little time some people get more or less depending on who they are Hashem knows exactly what to give you and when to give you but remember that sometimes is going to give you difficulties during your CH in order to help you not to punish you he's helping you by giving you difficulties because he sees that you're doing serious chuva he sees that you're serious about Shabbat he sees that you're serious about modesty you threw out all the clothes that's not modest you threw them out you even made a video a video cutting all of it you put it on the internet to encourage other girls to wear modest clothes so you're not you're not like buying new clothes but you still have the mini skirt and the tank tops in the closet maybe one day you want to wear it you're serious you're throwing everything out you burn it that means that in order for you to go back to IM modesty it's going to take some effort you have to go back to the store and it's embarrassing to this and that so you put a fence around the fence you left the girlfriend but you didn't just leave her you changed phone numbers she doesn't even know where you are you moved away why because you know that if you're going to stay you know she has your phone number she going to call you and it's only a matter of time before you fall so what' you do you not only left her because you want to watch your bre but you also changed phone number and you went somewhere else you're far away you're out of touch you're not staying friends we're not platonic friends there's no such thing as platonic friends in Judaism why you want to watch yourself so you took serious chuva serious measures to make your chuva serious so who says wow I'm impressed by your cha and I love you so much that I'm going to give you a little bit of extra difficulties right now why for two reasons one I want to see if you really love me I want to see if your chuva is real are you doing it because you expect that after you keep Shabbat for 3 four 5 6 7 8 nine 10 months I'm going to give you like a lotto ticket so really you're not doing Chua because you can't because you fear me because you love me you're really doing cha because it's like work for you it's like you work for free for 10 months because you're expecting a lot ticket at the end so I want to see if you love me better yet better yet I want to see you deal with these difficulties deal with these difficulties and find a way to justify them in the Torah how could I justify these difficulties in the Tor well you realize wait a minute if I'm doing chv then means that I'm realizing that what I've done in the past is wrong that driving on Shabbat was wrong that eating pig is wrong that stealing money is wrong that doing such and such is wrong okay so if it's wrong obviously it requires a punishment now hasem says I love you so much and I am enjoying your CH so much I'm not going to give you punishment in Gom at all I still have to give you punishment though so what I'm going to do instead of a thousand years or a million years in Gom I'll give you money problems for six months who prefers Gom instead raise your hand nobody's going to raise their hand why why don't you realize what Gom is like you don't want G for a second so hasem likes our chuva sometimes so much he's actually going to give us difficulties he's going to give us difficulties why because he wants to give us that punishment here for few months and even some cases for a few years why so that way you don't have any pun ment at all you can go straight to G you go straight and sit next to and have eternity of good so with that we thank hem for the problems and that's what the says that if a person knew how valuable their suffering is when they're doing chuva they'd actually pray for it they'd pray to get suffering now none of us are at the level to pray for suffering it already comes automatic but the point being is that don't get discouraged because hm is not dancing to your tune remember he is the king he doesn't owe you anything you're obligated to keep his with or without anything with or without reward and said that if somebody understood what it means to get punished by they simply do all of the Just Not to get punished forget about reward they wouldn't even want reward the only reward they would want is not to get punished when somebody actually understands what punishment is so the person that asked this had the same question I had years ago how come all the things didn't work out right away because had a different plan for me he wanted to see if the Chua is real he wanted to see if I'm going to withstand a test and most importantly he wanted me to pay for some of my own crimes in this life in this life rather than going to gain home now in the beginning it was very very hard for me because when you're in the fire you can't help it you feel burn when you're dealing with problems you can't help it it's hard but I promise you once you understand the will of hem and you realize that he's really doing it for you you're also going to realize that there is a light at the end of the tunnel eventually times do get better eventually you start enjoying the MIT and the much more but you have to toil you have to fight for it you have to work hard for it and you eventually get to a point where your State of Mind becomes like heaven you simply are at a point where you're happy you're content with whatever you have despite whatever problems exist you understand why you're even in this world you have the answers for things and even the things you don't have answers for you know that the answers exist you just haven't learned it yet the point is is that hem does give you pleasure in this world too it's just that you have to work hard for it you can't just sit there and like watching a movie and expect hasem to spoon feed you you're not going to get the ganeden by being spoonfed it's going to take a little work and that's what we need to do and we need to [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] understand for spe [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]