Peyot, Heartless Guide, Idolatry, Convert Tribes, Oral Torah | STR COMPILATION #5

[Music] can we trim our peot um you could do whatever you want the question is should you should you uh I mean the main thing is when it comes to pay is you have to have this you have to have this you can't cut you can't shave this part with less than a number two that's the part that you have to have okay if you want to show that you're uh you love's just like when we kiss the we don't have an obligation to kiss the says this whole custom of kissing theza was was uh learned from the story of ulos ulos that uh the go tried to from the house of Titus uh he was related to him he was the next in line to become the Caesar they were coming to his house to try to convert him back instead of him he was on way to converting to Judaism uh actually you already converted at this point and uh every time they would see him kiss the M said why are you kissing this this piece of stick he says because unlike your king that's hiding behind this castle and need you to protect them my king protects me when I'm inside the house and outside the house so the guim liked it so much they ended up converting and and so many people converted that the uh they gave up on him and they uh left him alone so the whole the whole custom of kissing the m is not an obligation but rather he showed his love of hem by kissing the M showing loving kissing mitvah and therefore he did it same concept when it comes to okay is not an obligation of T to to have the the long and so on this is not an obligation but it's a it's showing how much I love it now the bigger it is the more it is the more in essence you're showing hasm that you love it it doesn't necessarily that you don't love a if you have short some big did not even have it also depends on the custom but the point being is it all depends on why you're doing it in the first place why you're growing it and why you're trimming it or you want to trim it so that that's the thing that's really so I can't answer that for you because I don't know why you have it in the first place and and why you would want it to uh trim it if you see somebody that's suffering uh you shouldn't tell them oh don't worry you're suffering for good cause but on another hand I also told you guys that uh every time we see that we're suffering or the world is suffering we should Al always know that this is and we may me the sins and we have to repent and so on so how do we decipher the uh the difference here so here it goes if it's your own personal suffering then surely you should look for you should look into your own actions the says you should look into your own actions and see where you ER where you made a mistake where you made a sin that would uh qualify you to be the recipient of such suffering so if you're suffering personally you should do self accounting to find the things that you weaken and start fixing them one after another T ti ti ti ti ti as much as you can as much as you can until it goes away and obviously continue thereafter but the point is is that if you know somebody that says SE sufferings in his life the says you should start fixing himself on the other hand when you're seeing the cloud the nation suffer or the community suffer you're not talking about anything specific then obviously you should look at the Nations the people's uh problems and so on even if you see a certain person suffering and you know that this person is doing certain things that are in the open they bad by shab and so on and so forth now how do you portray this message to them if you're portraying the message to yourself then obviously be as coldblooded honest with yourself as you can okay if you're talking to the public which means you're not talking to somebody specific then you could talk about this is a general problem we have in our community this is a general problem we have in our uh Nations so you're not talking about someone specific so no one feels personally attacked but nonetheless you're uh highlighting the problem that everybody's ignoring in essence you're bringing out the elephant that's in a room and putting him on stage uh so uh you're uh you're you're telling people that the problem is there it's time to stop ignoring it and no one should feel attacked if they're a normal person because you're not attacking them personally now if it's somebody that's personal then you shouldn't tell them listen you're suffering for a good thing don't worry your loved one just died but that's good for you because you're suffering don't ever do things like that what should you do you simply tell stories this is where stories come in or you could send lectures but the point is stories are very good because you could have a story of something that's relevant indirectly to what they're going through and you could show them the lesson listen I thought this a really good story uh and uh I I thought you'd like it or you could say oh listen I just uh asked my Rabbi a question and he sent me this story I haven't looked at it check it out let me know what you think of it and in Ence send them a story so they're getting the guidance or the M or the uh you know the whatever message you want but indirectly so they don't feel attacked so they don't feel attacked uh and also so you don't break their heart when they're already going through difficulty the second thing is also is your timing is your timing thear says that you should never never stand you know continue a discussion with somebody while he's uh he's in a moment of anger if he's in a moment of anger walk away walk away don't uh go back and forth with him why cuz all of Gom is controlling him at that time all of Gom is controlling him at that time you continue to debate him try to reason with a person that's still in anger uh you're wasting your time if anything it's just going to get worse same thing with somebody that's overly emotional if somebody uh somebody just died in their family oh listen you know I know he died it was important to you but listen you're still young you can find a new husband like that's heartless you can't do stuff like that so you have to use your common sense you have to use your head you have to use your head so you have to pick timing surely that advice you're saying or your message you're saying may very well be valid but a year from now two years from now whenever it is it's not now why cuz right now it's you know they emotional they're connected to the problem it's not the right time so you have to also use your head to teach you how to use your head I personally can't do because I would have to be your head but you can learn how to use your head by watching more and more of our lectures because in essence the more Torah you learn the more your head will be wired correctly can you explain the about the prohibitions about the 3 days before the festivals of idol worshippers like lending items or borrowing items repairing debt repaying debt okay thank you okay so the says that although you're allowed to do business with an idol worshipper so long as it's not helping helping him do idolatry uh you have to be concerned and not do business with them uh three days before his holiday lest he take the money that you give him the profits that you give him and use it to sanctify his false god so if you have Avid uh you know Christians as clients or or partners of some kind just don't do any major transactions with them or you know during this time that's it simple so they don't take the money and use it for their idolatry uh that's it that's that's really the main thing if Jews are who are doing a mitv do idolatry shom by praying to someone other thanm what happens to their are they nullified and do they go to unclean side or something different yes unfortunately that's the case if a person does makes certain sins like idolatry all of the MIT that they make go to the sitra uh they go to the evil side they actually give power to the Satan uh and there are many religious people that do mitv that work for the Satan because of certain sins that they make one of the most common sins that causes people to lose all of their MIT in a sense that all of those MIT go to the Satan is wasting seed is wasting seed idolatry is one but wasting seed is another because wasting seed is also considered a form of idolatry uh according to but the point is when a person weigh seed all of their go to the Satan they give the Satan more power so that's the reason why is very very uh particular about his mitv and a person must learn them in order in order to know how to serve a the right way hello RAB is it true that if a man sees his forehead in the K cup wine it guarantees 30s more 30 more days of life and also does it pertain to women too I never heard that it guarantees 30 days more of Life uh I'm sure that uh you got this from somewhere and you're not just making it up but I personally have never heard of it guaranteeing a specific amount of time of life uh I know that there are some that says that uh he'll survive some even say survive the week but not specifically 30 days not specifically le 30 days what tribe does a convert belong to that's one of the things that the Messiah will tell us really no tribe at this point but in reality no one really knows which tribe they're in we have yud that's uh you know we have some of M uh we have a little bit of Le we don't have all 12 tribes in the world that we know of there's certain Jews that uh the most of the world does not even know they exist so the converts are not alone when it comes to that Mia comes will distinctions and Customs between safaraz Jews disappear no why would they disappear everybody still uh you know the uh has the heritage of their father to me it's a verse in the Tor that you have to uh connect to the things to the Torah of your father so somebody from Yemen is connected to the Torah of his father somebody from ashaz is connected to the Torah of his father someone from is connected to the Torah of his father why should he forget it uh but there will not be seen meaning we're not going to hate each other because we're different because we're going to finally realize that we're all one people all uh you know a uh one uh one uh one nation One Nation why weren't we allowed to write down the oral laws after Mount saai uh well the name the name of the law was oral law uh specifically because we had the mental and spiritual capacity uh to remember all of it and transmit it orally uh specifically to protect the Torah from the go copying it Hashem did not want theim the Nations to know all of the intricate details of our mitzvot for a few reasons number one he didn't want them copying it and creating new religions uh that are hard to distinguish between Judaism in them which actually was Christianity at its birth was almost identical to Judaism and only when Catholicism was created a few hundred years later did the major change actually happened where you saw a major difference between Judaism and Christianity but for the first while uh the two were very very similar the only difference was that the Christians were worshiping their Idol uh you know in addition to God whereas obviously the Jews were always serving hasem uh but those Jews that were serving the idol of Yos were actually praying three times a day learning Torah giving takaka eating kosher they were doing everything else that other Jews were doing they were in essence for all intents and purposes Jews that no one even really knew that they were different until later on uh and that was actually a uh one of the uh the sages a couple of the sages actually infiltrated the the church in order to distinguish it from from Judaism because their core belief was idolatry but most people didn't know they would go to a to a Christian church but it looked so much like a synagogue that they couldn't tell the difference they didn't know that they were in an idol worshiping place so the sages uh sent a couple of their uh in there in order to infiltrate uh the uh Christianity and to become leaders and in essence to uh cause a change so you could see the difference between a so the first reason why hasm did not want us to have the oral law is because he did not want the go to copy Judaism and in essence to uh make it very hard to tell the difference number two when the G it's actually was to protect the G and the reason why is because uh when the G copy our Torah or they perform some of our mitv like keeping Shabbat uh and other unique MIT that we're giv to is only according to God and his his T then they deserve death penalty soem did not want them to have it and plus there's other reasons like there are certain secrets in the Torah that he only wanted to give to is uh certain things in the Tor that are only uh supposed to be utilized by but the point being is is that initially it was supposed to be transmitted orally and that's actually how it was for many many hundreds of years uh but then at the time of rud uh he uh he was one of the he was the great uh Sage of that generation the greatest Sage of that generation and one of the greatest ever is uh uh theim actually all agreed that if the Messi would have come at the time of R which is also named rebi um then uh he would have actually been the Messiah he would have been chosen as the Messiah not only because he was really righteous and uh a genius and so on but also because he was Al from uh the line of David uh so he was a descendant of King David uh and not just speculated to be you know uh related to King David like some other people are so the point is is that RI saw that we are deteriorating in our actions and also in our capabilities and much of our Torah is uh being forgotten by most average people uh and he realized that it was time for him to enforce a rule that's within the Torah within the written Torah which instills power within the sages to make takote to make rules in order to protect the Torah in essence to you're hurting the you're violating the Torah but for the sake of saving it uh so the point being is is that it's a he I knew that if we're not going to uh put pent to paper and start writing the uh oral tah we're going to lose it all together and so he actually instituted to write the mishna the truth be told that that were're already at before this time there were parts of the oral tah that were already written but they weren't distributed to the Mass public each person had their own little notebook or their own little piece of paper uh that they would write and you know their their new insights or different things and they would hide them they own Scrolls they would have each person would have each Sage would have their own uh collection plus there was a uh certain sages Yan benel yanel was a already wrote uh things uh even before but the biggest step of putting the oral Torah to paper is known in the hands of R which from that it the gar came from by uh Rina and Rashi uh in the later generations after him when you die and you have your trial in heaven and they go through your life will they show the bad things which you did before uh did chv for it depends how high your level OFA is if your level of Tua is only out of only out of fear then they'll show you that these sins were made but they were accidental sins if a you made a high level of Chua which is a uh chuva out of love then all of those sins are no more they simply turn into mitv so there's nothing to show that's bad they'll show you how you did something that's actually good uh now realistically there's no such thing as doing chuva only out of love it doesn't exist the best case scenario is uh if somebody toils and toils over his chuva every day throughout his life they can get to a combination where it's some love and some fear it can't be just love it could be just fear because fear is the basics it could be even a high level of fear which is very very high like you knowu is admired for having the ultimate fear of hem uh but uh and it can even get to some level of love to be just love is non-existent doesn't exist even if if you're uh the best of the best doesn't matter so it could be fear only high level of fear and fear and regular standard fear or even low level of fear and some love or high level of fear and some love and so on but uh just love itself is not possible needless to say we need to do as many MIT as possible uh and as much CH as possible so that our good overshadows are bad that's really what we supposed to focus on can I date while on the conver process very good question if you are a non-jew that is looking to convert to becoming a Jew and you want to date during that time that you're converting you only are allowed to date someone that's also in the process of converting to Judaism I mean technically you're allowed to date whoever you want but if you actually want to succeed in your conversion you should all only date someone that's also in the process of converting you're not allowed to uh date a Jew under no condition whatsoever not even a first date or a half a date so long as a person's not Jewish they're not allowed to go on a date with a Jew you also should not date someone that has a different ideology than you like someone that's still a Christian someone that's a Muslim someone that's a atheist you should not date anyone like that or someone that's what's called agnostic which is in essence someone that cares about everything other than their desires so you should not date anyone like that why because it's very likely that if you continue dating them you'll develop feelings for them you develop feelings for them and that's going to create a problem for you why one day you're going to say okay I'm ready to become a Jew because I've studied all the things that I need to study I've made all of the life changes far as moving to a Jewish community and now I have to I have to convert and he says to you or she says you yeah good for you but I'm not converting so guess what you can't convert why so long as you're with that person you cannot convert you have to break up the relationship you have to break up the relationship forever permanently you can never see that person again unless they convert to Judaism which is very very difficult I know a story firsthand that there was a couple there was a couple one was actually a Jew and one was a non-jew and the Jew started doing chuva and uh said listen I'm not uh going to end up marrying you even though we've been dating for a few years and I care about you and everything I can't marry you I'm sorry I got to go and she says to him listen but I'll convert he's like no I don't know about conversion I don't you don't need to convert for me I can't do it she was determined she was wasn't going to take a no for an answer even though he said no she wasn't taking a no meaning she went and she started learning a lot of tah she became a bookworm she went and made an appointment with the bedine and the rabbis and she started wearing modest clothes and everything literally became became somebody that's religious one day she calls them says hey how are you I havn't hurt from her in a long time year two years how are you long time no here yeah fine how you doing I want to see you no I told you listen no no no I want to see I need say I need tell you something okay he goes to a restaurant Co restaurant of course and he sees this exir that he remembers her she look nothing like what she looked why in front of him he sees a he sees a he sees someone that's a uh completely FR much more religious than him much more religious than him he sees her says hi what happened she I converted here's my certificate Rabbi such in a uh you know in in uh uh the California over here and uh here it is wow you converted I can't believe it it's amazing she go yeah listen so I want to come back together now he has no excuse he still finds her attractive she's now a Jew fine no problem okay so let's uh let's start and guess what because they had a relationship when they were both secular they figured she's a Jew now okay we're going to end up getting married anyway so let's act like we're married like we used to anyway relationship became a disaster disaster any chance of a blessing that could have happened went to hell and never came back the relationship became a tragedy tragedy to to to hear about to listen m m a tragedy they ended up wasting another I don't know couple years of each other's life and eventually broke up in the most horrendous possible way you could imagine why said do this you didn't do this you did this for yourself you did this with your conditions doesn't give a blessing doesn't give a blessing with no conditions everything has a condition and the problem is that it's very hard to overcome that once you have that past and so on so simple answer to your question if somebody the second you start dating them they are on the same ideological Point as you are they have the same intentions as you to convert same Pace same beliefs same Rabbi even then go ahead and date if they're not do not date at all is my recommendation why because it's only going to be a problem and most likely will destroy your life your D at the very least will destroy your possibility of conversion when I look at myot I feel guilt and shame for not having a blue strand I put on a blue string but if we have no tradition for this I'm confused so so the yet will make people have the bad feelings for things that uh you know they shouldn't have bad feelings and no feelings for things that uh they uh should have feelings meaning a person can watch pornography a person can cheat on AEM with uh doing all types of things and either not feel anything bad about it or whatever bad feeling that they have doesn't last very long why because you know it's say okay I'm sorry and just go back to their life or even sometimes don't even say I'm sorry but when it comes to something like this where there's confusion in the world and the we talked about earlier today said we do not have the in the world today we do not know for sure what's the you're never going to see rki Raad ra Maz the you're never going to see any pictures of them with on their why because it's concluded that we do not have it and the few had said that they believe that we do have it simply wasn't accepted it wasn't accepted among the and we listen to we listen to the biggest rabbis in the world so the fact that you feel guilty about not having the blue string means that there is a slight disconnect a slight disconnect from the leading sages in the world and more connect to Simply your own feelings you have to re you know reverse that you have to have a higher con connection to the sages of the generation much more than to your own feelings why because the sages of the generation will always take care of you better than your feelings will take care of you because your feelings sometimes have the in them the sat in them that's going to try to make you feel inappropriately so again is not accepted among the leaders of today hence the reason why you're not going to see uh them wear it if you see one day that love kki or when of the other is wearing it then you could say where did he get it from and you get it from where he got it from but so long as we don't see the wearing it it's simply not something that we take on ourselves now if you see let's say your local Rabbi or a few of your friends they're wearing it you don't necessarily need to rebuke them you don't need to say anything to them but you should know that the way am is has survived through the trials of tribulations of the exile for the last couple thousand years is by connecting to our and not connecting to anyone that just feels something so forget the feelings look at the Tor and understand that that's what we follow that's what we follow says we're not allowed to eat while we learn Torah when we're learning books and so on but sometimes a person needs to do it in order to help them learn to either because they're falling asleep or because they uh they're they're having a tough time uh uh you know keeping their their focus and so on so they need to choose something and this happens uh and surely the is going to sometimes make you over eat and in essence use all your energy on your stomach which makes you even more tired so you're trying to eat in order to stay awake but you end up getting tired as a result of eating so just be careful on that whatever you're eating try to eat something that's light [Applause] [Music] oh