Money Talk at Maor YeShiva High School New Jersey

[Music] n very happy to be here in New Jersey in uh M Yesa high school it's m an honor to be with all of you learning toah every day and as I told the few students we I just spoke to I'm jealous of you my jealous of you for a few reasons number one for things you probably don't realize that the fact that you're here in this school learning t on a daily basis with that are teaching you the truth that are inviting the truth that are publicizing the truth it's 100% in this world full of lies it's very difficult to find people that are yearning and publicizing the truth so the fact that you have the to learn in a school like this at such an age you must have some you must have some like that gave the benefit of actually being here in this school now it's very difficult to understand and see what I'm saying today at your age you know if I was your age and I was in this school like this I would think ah my parents just sent me to this school what's the big deal you get to my age one day and you'll see what a privilege you actually had today and you won't have to wait 20 years for it the other reason is because when I was young I didn't have this opportunity I didn't have an opportunity to learn Tora I didn't have an opportunity to learn what is the purpose of life at such a young age I was born in Israel in 1980 and uh we went to you know in those days Israel was uh less problematic than it is today as far as religious uh concerns where it was easy to find a religious school and so we went to a religious school but it was a type of religious school where you're in school and at home you're religious in school you wear keepa you wear TI but for the most part many of the kids would go home take off the ti take off the keepa it was like a uniform wasn't really something that you really believed in Moses was a nice character like a comic character Noah very cool he's only Survivor in the world you didn't actually live those stories you heard them it was nice it was interesting but you didn't necessarily connect to it to such an extent we say oh I have to learn something from this story to apply to the rest of my life so anyway I went to this school until I was 10 years old when I was 10 years old the land vomited us and brought us here to America as it says in the Tora when we don't do the will of hem we don't have necessarily the of living in is so part of the punishment is Hashem sent us to Exile but Hashem loves us so much that even the punishment he gives us the ability to enjoy so we came to America as soon as we landed we went to public school so now instead of being half Dy you know half religious now we're completely nothing we just stop religion start eating n kosher I start wanting to be like the go because I'm surrounded by go once in a while you have a Jewish friend here and there but he's also like me he also wants to be like the go you have a earring here and an earring here and an earring here and an earring there and eventually earrings other places and you know you're lucky you still have a face left and you want to live like the go do like the go and start connecting to the material world where in order for you to enjoy life you have to have stuff you have to have a car you have to have a watch you have to have a girl you have to have this you have to have that and after you get it what happens you want more so says you give somebody 100 he wants 200 you give him 200 he wants 400 meaning who's the guy that has the biggest desire for money the one that has the most who the one that feels that he's lacking the most the one that has the most meaning the guy that has $100 feels like he's closer to his goal of 200 than the guy that has a million because the guy that has a million feels like I need another million so he feels like he's missing more so you connect to the material world and little by little get to a point where that's your only world when I was 18 years old I uh got a job on Wall Street I started as a trainee as an assistant for a brokerage firm I'm shortening some of the story just so we have time to cover some other things and some more details of the story are in the CDs that I sent you guys it's the first track is very very popular and uh I try to tell the story a different version of the story and also different along with each time because after a while it'll I get bored of it so I have to also enjoy it so at 18 years old I went to Wall Street I uh you could say I had to pay my dues you know anytime you want to succeed in life unlike the current generation that thinks that everything is supposed to be gifted to them on a silver platter My Generation we need we have to earn it so you have to pay your dues so you can't just be day one CEO of Google at least you have to start in the mail room you have to start as an assistant you have to start as the guy that actually does all the work but gets no money and that's what I did for the first three years on Wall Street I worked for other people I did everything I could to make them rich I made phone calls I made appointments I did research all the different things I started my day somewhere around 6:00 in the morning I'd finish at around 9:00 at night long day lot of phone calls lot of work the best month was $1,800 best salary that I had in one month over those three years was $1,800 but I didn't actually get the $1,800 because the boss found an excuse to dock my pay because he said that one day I was on a phone personal call for one minute so that's I lose $100 for that and another day I didn't answered something the right way so he docked another $100 and long story short by the end of it he gave me $1,160 so even the $1800 he didn't pay me S long story short after three years of working for other people I changed a couple of firms and eventually I realized that this is not going to work out I have the only way for me to succeed is by me being independent within a company so I told my uh the manager of some office that I worked at I told him listen this partnership is not working out this guy promised me a lot of money he ended up jipping me out of all the money he owed me a few thousand he ended up paying me $81 you know obviously there's a little bit of a difference and uh I want to be independent so the uh boss an Indian guy said okay what's your intentions here and me being 21 years old at the time said to buy you out I wasn't too humble had uh no money in my pocket only a dream and some uh ambition and I'm telling a guy that's already in the business for 20 years A Millionaire and I'm telling him my intention here is to buy him out well that was naive ignorant arrogant combination of all not really sure either way it was entertaining for him said okay let me think about it and he thought about it and after a few days he said okay fine you could start you just have to know that every month just for you to come and work in this office you have to come up with $4,000 you have to pay me for the phone bill you have to pay me a piece for the secretary you have to pay me for this you have to pay me for that you have to pay me for this and he gave me a whole list of different things I have to pay for so before I even am able to take any money home I have to pay him $4,000 did he lose money so he said how are you going to come up with the money I said I have no idea but I'll figure it out so this is what I do I start working and a couple of days after I start working September 11th happens mazalov wall street collapses not exactly the best time to recommend stocks to everyone at least no one wants to invest everyone is losing money and me being ambitious driven and so on I say listen I don't really have much of a choice I'm not going to change careers again so I still have to convince people to invest because at some point these stocks are going to go up so I start building a business even after September 11th but I'm not able to make any money because even any money that I'm actually making first I don't have any clients so even if I'm starting to get some clients over the next few months which is very very difficult any little bit of money money that I'm making I have to give this Indian guy so it gets to a point where after a few months I ran out of the money that I had saved in the bank from a previous job that I had I used to work extra jobs to make extra money on the side and uh I ran out of the money and I got to a point where I had $36 or $35 left to my name and I got to a point where I had to sneak on a bus every single day in order to get to work I had to borrow a dollar from this guy named Dimitri in order so I could eat for the day 50 cents goes for coffee 50 cents goes to a donut that was the food for the day and every day like this for a few months difficult is a little bit of an understatement but I had a lot of Pride I didn't want to go back to Aba and IMA ABA I need money IMA I need money they had their own uh battles to deal with I didn't want to be a uh headache for anyone I said listen I'm going to survive I'm going to figure it out we're going to make it we're going to make it happen eventually after about about 6 months after I started from you know being independent I finally made $11,000 which to me in a month which to me was like all the money in the world like after paying this guy I finally got to take home $1,000 was excited continued to work the next month I made $5,000 now I'm rich next month another $5,000 the next month $10,000 the next month after that $177,000 and then on November of 2002 approximately a year after I started I made $117,000 for the month brokerage brokage same thing yeah same same thing I was doing eventually got to a point where I built enough clients one of my stocks worked out went up in value while the rest of the market was going down I sold the stock for everybody made a lot of commissions people started sending me more money and I took home $117,000 for the month and broke a office record all of a sudden I became the uh Goa office all of a sudden everyone cares and likes me so I take some money I buy my parents a house and the rest of the money I continue to invest into the business try to get more clients but life would never be the same cuz at that point I get a lot of clients people start calling me asking me if I would take them as a client instead of me chasing people and little by little grow the business where it gets to a point where I'm making 50100 $200,000 a month by uh 2003 a year later I sell one of the pig positions that we have and make $61,000 for the day so now I'm a millionaire so now I have to decide do I stay working for this company or do I build my next well like any Israeli I want to be an entrepreneur I don't want anybody to tell me what to do so I start my own company start my own company I start hiring a bunch of salespeople analysts and so on a bunch of people that actually went to college start working for me I went to college for one year but then realized that for me it was a complete waste of time not because College in general is a waste of time but if you already know what you want to do and you know how to do it there's no point of you going other than just wasting your parents money there's absolutely no purpose if you're going to learn a specific profession if you're going to become a doctor you're going to become a lawyer if you going to school for an actual purpose to get a certain degree to do something with it then there's a reason for it but if you already know what you want to do and you could do it already there's no point in general education one of the major reasons for it as you guys already know and as I'm sure your teachers already teach you first part of secular education is to teach you how to think you try to think how to use your brain as far as certain skills that's again that's uh above and beyond so anyway I already knew what I wanted to do I wanted to be a Salesman I wanted to be in business I was already in it there's no point for me to go to school so I stopped even though I was considered a I had a 3.9 GPA I was an honor school I was already taking college classes in high school and blah blah blah but again I didn't want to be a doctor I didn't want to be a lawyer and I didn't want to be in school for 100 years so I went into the business world and now I'm making money and I'm getting all these other guys that went to college and are working for me and little by little we making more and more money and it gets to a point where a bad month is $200,000 and then on May of 2006 I get to the biggest day of my career we sell a big position that we had we had many many shares of this company called series satellite we were one of the top shareholders of the company and we also had a few big positions in other companies I made a lot of money and that day was the highlight of my career I make $1.6 million so the money is not just coming in it's almost like we're printing money we joined the uh the Federal Reserve young guy in his 20s have a big office all these uh people work there we're making money but for some reason the one thing that we don't have is a smile the one thing we don't have is a purpose the one thing we don't have is a plan of what to do with all of it because myself I never cared for money really I just like making it I just like the competition that's it I just want it to be the best and making more money was just a way to grade yourself like I wasn't one of these guys that bought all the toys I didn't care for a million cars I didn't care for a bunch of houses I didn't care for the watches in my entire life I never spent a dollar a dollar on a piece of jewelry that was for myself I bought a piece of Jewel a couple pieces of jewelry for my wife but very very simple ones nothing like 50 or $20,000 even though like I said we had plenty of money because neither one of us valued it valued material but we like making it because we were able to do things that were more meaningful we're able to give we're able to help people we're able to help our parents help our friends something more more than just like making the money everybody says oh yeah when I have money I'm going to give a lot OFA okay let's see once you get the money if you like money you're not going to give and the reason why is because naturally no one wants to give something they like if parents love their children they don't give them up for adoption usually the ones that give up their kids for adoptions because they have mental issues and they're not connected to their children people that love money don't usually give money unless there's a benefit unless there's more money to give to get meaning the guy that donates $100 million to a hospital usually it's not because he cares for the hospital that much usually it's because him getting so much notoriety he's going to help him make another $500 million him getting notoriety to Apple milk more business or he just has to decide either give a 10000 million do to the hospital as a donation or I have to pay to the government as taxes there's a tax benefit out of it so he says I might as well pay to the hospital and that way I don't have to pay any taxes and on top of it I get kavod so if you really like money and you have a huge ambition to make money for money's sake because you want stuff you should remove from your mind that yes once I get money I'm going to give because I'm already telling you ahead of time it's not going to happen you like it too much for some reason I didn't I don't know why but I didn't I gave most of my money away whoever needed it would come to my office and I was so busy that an hour of my time was worth approximately $3,000 at the peak of my career so if somebody wanted to talk to me for an hour I had to evaluate my time how much is my time worth how much is this problem really uh how important it is so usually when I would know it's a personal issue uh this may be a little bit uh this is not a lesson to learn what to do this is a lesson to learn not to do I would usually ask somebody how much does it cost he would tell me his problem start spilling his hard out to me and I would stop him in a Mill and so how much is your problem cost and he tell me oh yeah well you get to the point oh it cost $5,000 okay so I just say okay so just stop one second I take a checkbook give $5,000 and go back to my to my job because I figured okay he's going to talk to me about this problem for 2 hours it's going to cost me 6,000 if I just give him 3,000 right now or 5,000 right now I'm saving money and again it's only because I didn't care for money it's just paper it's not even paper because you don't actually get the paper most of the time it's usually in some digital thing shows it to you that's it so I gave money to a lot of people anybody had a problem come to me if I actually got all the loans that I gave to people I would be a millionaire again but one one one uh Food For Thought for all of you if you ever want to give somebody a loan just for yourself don't think of it as aone cuz most likely you're not going to get it back unless it's somebody with a it's somebody that actually cares about the boss in sh most likely you're not going to get the money back especially if it's small money especially if it's a 100 bucks th000 bucks 5,000 bucks you know especially the people that comes to Hey listen can you let me $5,000 for this week it's never this week if $5,000 going to help him this week he could wait another week who was gonna get the money next week and just wait another week the $100 is not for today you give 100 bucks I'll give it to you next week he's not g me back to 100 it's just not most of the time I'm telling you from experience this is not to call everybody a liar it's just a reality somebody needs is gets to a point where they need a 100 bucks the problem is much bigger than 100 bucks which means that by the time he gets 100 bucks he actually needs to survive he's not going to have the ability to give it back to you so if you ever are have the opportunity to serve AEM with your money and giving somebody a loan know that it's a Mitzvah but know that this Mitzvah doesn't pay you in this world cuz he's probably not going to pay you back so you just consider it already in your mind as a gift give it in your mind okay he can say it's alone if he gives it back to you but if he doesn't don't uh don't be upset because if you're upset you lose the Mitzvah and on top of it you have to come back to this world in a gig because he's if he once he doesn't give it back to you it's considered theft gel he stole it from you and then both of you have to come back to this world so he can pay you back the money who wants to come back to this world we barely want to be here in the first place so just say a guy doesn't pay you back say okay I forgive you okay if he gives it back to you but most of the time they're not going to give it back to you so just think of it is a gift I I helped is long story short I start making all this money my biggest toy was my house I bought a nice apartment on uh the corner of Wall Street and Broad Street for a couple of million dollars didn't really have much time or patience to furnish it so we had some simple Furniture didn't really have much time to put window uh shades on it so we put something simple on there too just really busy with life and again this material stuff that you always want your whole life eventually once you get the ability to do it it's not that important what was important to me was to continue to build this EMP Enterprise so I could figure out what is the point of all of it like what to really do what I didn't realize is that I actually had the instructions of what to really do all along I just never read them it's a getting the best product in the world or the cure for every disease but never taking the pill so Hashem throughout my life gave me different and I just ignored them and I gave them different names would give me a sign he listen you need to start laying on a regular basis start keeping Shabbat start learning to start doing this is the purpose of why I created the world you already I already believed in God but it was my own version of God it's not the god of the Torah because I didn't really know the god of the Torah I just knew that there had to be a God that created the world I didn't I wasn't one of these fools that thought that everything came from absolutely nothing has to come from somewhere so I believed in God but I never actually knew that if I don't do it there's like punishments and like half the Torah pretty much is very scary I believed in my own God which like in today's world people like think of Santa Claus like the god that owes you stuff or gives you stuff all the time but you don't have to do anything for him like most people think God works for them like I want this I want this I want this I want this I want this I want this okay great you want only what are you doing forem when you get up to sh after 120 they're going ask you a few questions I'm sure you heard from your teachers they ask you have you conducted your business with faith meaning that you have not that you conduct business and you were honest that's already a given but with faith meaning were you the type of guy that worked overtime because you didn't think that hm has any money and you had to work over time because how else you going to build this giant house how else you going to go to three vacations a year you worked three jobs because Hey listen hasem ran you know he built the world he spent all of his money on creation he ran out of money but and also it says that hem already decrees how much money you're going to get for the year and until meaning that it doesn't matter if you work overtime or not it doesn't matter if you work one job or two jobs or no jobs your p is already determined in sham so for anyone that thinks they need to be a certain profession in order for them to be rich the gar is here to tell you you're wasting your time if Hashem wants you to be rich you'll be rich you could be rich being a stock broker you could be rich being a teacher you could be rich being a garbage man you could be rich selling Q-tips to hotel chains you could be rich doing anything there's someone rich and someone poor in every profession there's someone poor that made all of your clothing in China or India one of those places they make like a dollar a month or something like that I don't know how they live but literally they make like a dollar a day or a dollar a month or a dollar a week somehow they survive and they make all the clothes and they make pretty much a lot of the products we use on a Day-Day basis but then is the is the guy that owns the place and he makes Millions same profession there's the guy that recommends stocks and he can make some money you can may not make some money some guy's a successful stock broker some guys are failures but then there the guy that actually owns the company that you're investing in so he's the rich guy in every profession meaning that AEM decides who's going to be rich and who's not you don't necessarily need to drive yourself crazy working overtime or thinking that I have to be a doctor to be rich I have to be this to be rich I have to do this no you have to convince AEM that's what you have to do so now little by little I get to a point where the money is now becoming more and more meaningless because the more you have it the more you want to do stuff with it but then the stuff is gets boring you know in the beginning when you first got a car the car was fun for a year after a while you get another car ah okay the car is fun for six months after you get the next car then it's fun for like a month and eventually it gets the point where it's not even fun at all as soon as you got it you already want something else so I got to a point where I said okay well what is going to happen eventually I have to donate some of this money so I donated a seph t I thought maybe that's going to be good to do I donate some money to theet I donate some money to some people and so on and so forth but still never got to a point where I have this feeling you call happiness and the reason why is because happiness is a spiritual feeling meaning that in order for you to be happy you have to be injected with something called spirituality you can give somebody as many cars and houses and planes and whatever else they want but they'll never be happy because it's the wrong cure this is this is the explanation for any anyone that asks why is it that some of these big movie stars and big celebrities kill themselves with drugs and alcohol and everything else despite having 1002 200$ 500 million in a bank you have this mkin Robin Williams was a Jew top of his career had a family had kids had plenty of money somewhere probably in a neighborhood of $150 million was considered very very funny but just in the last year or two he killed himself he had everything that everyone else thinks makes you happy but to kill yourself obviously you can't be happy you have to be as far away from happiness as possible giving us a giving us a proof that money is definitely not going to make you happy now if I never had money and I told you money is not going to make you happy they said what do you know you never had money I'm telling you I had some not going to make you happy happy but now I have to figure out what is going to make you make me happy so I figured you know what maybe if I'm healthier and I'm better and I start working on myself so I start doing things independently I start reading some self-help books of how to be happy how to develop good relationships how to do this how to do that and along the way I said you know what let's also work on my health a little bit I had this uh annoying medical issue I had hemorrhoids which two out of three people have don't worry you're not going to have the rest of the story that I'm about to tell you this is my own personal T but I had the hemorrhoids that would bother me once or twice a year that's it it wasn't like a problem it wasn't like something like stopped my life just annoying I went to the doctor and doctor says yes it's a very simple surgery you go have the surgery it's a Same Day Surgery meaning it's very simple it's called an elective surgery you could choose to have it or not it's not going to change your life as far as if you don't have it it's just going to if you have it we cure it WR and you're not going to have this issue twice a year that's it said okay so what does it take well you come to the office I have the surgery or you come to the hospital you have the surgery under anesthesia you sleep for an hour or two we have the surgery you wake up with morphine in your body so you're not feeling any pain you go home a few hours later you have a little bit of discomfort which in English means pain for a couple of days and then you're back to work okay fine doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world fine said my biggest problem was when do I go back to work cuz 3,000 hour is expensive so he said listen you come in on Wednesday you're back to work on Monday I said okay so I'm taking a vacation for a couple of days not the end of the world fine I go to the surgery perfectly healthy I wake up as sick as can be I wake up out of the surgery screaming and yelling in pain because I'm feeling that somebody's taking a dagger and cutting my body open over and over and over again without stopping and the dagger is also connected to electricity in my uh is what I'm feeling I'm being electrocuted and cut up at the same time I'm screaming my lungs out asking who is next to me to kill me no one wants to listen eventually I see my wife and my mom and I asked them to kill me and they also don't want to listen the doctors continue to give me morphine and then they discover that my body is rejecting it meaning the morphine is not working now I never took drugs in my life cuz I actually like my brain so now when we finally take drugs for use to actually limit these this pain it's not working so initially the doctors asked my wife is he a drug addict maybe he has such a high tolerance she goes no he's anti-drugs as a matter of fact I paid for a few of my friends to go to rehab because of how much I hate drugs and all drugs whether it's crack cocaine or even something that people think is simple and meaningless like pot cuz it's legal in parts of the country everybody thinks it's a mitvah everyone thinks that doing part now is a no look it helps cancer patients okay do you have cancer no yeah but it helps this patient okay do you have it no so what do you have I'm just bored okay bored you want to ruin your brain Good Luck Good Luck ruining your brain good luck ruining your life it's not going to help you in any way all you can guarantee Yourself by doing part is that you virtually become an official loser maybe not necessarily a loser in life because a lot of people have this uh visual of people like Steve Jobs and other celebrities that smoke podn look he's a winner because he has money having money doesn't make you a winner having a life makes you a winner so when you have a couple hours of time where you're just high and doing nothing with your life and you're excited about some type of potato chips at 3:00 in the morning that does not make you a winner in life and don't tell me it helps you learn cuz that's complete hogwash I learned plenty in my life both secular studies as well as Torah I did not need one hit of any type of drug whatsoever I don't think the Ben is or or any of theim needed P to learn as a matter of fact just so you know it's actually a sin how do we know it's a sin because the Torah tells us that you're not allowed to ever pray to Hashem unless you are fully there meaning that if you just smoked pot you're not allowed to go to beet because your prayer is considered it's considered disgusting so instead of getting a mitvah you're getting an a The Simple Solution is don't do it so now I needed to have this drugs so I could stop having this pain but it's not working eventually the doctor says we gave him the most amount of morphine legally allowed which would kill most people and finally it calmed his body down so they calm my body down I'm no longer in pain and foolishly the doctors decide to release me after a few hours okay yeah this was just a hiccup he can go home he'll be fine I felt fine because I have enough drugs in my body to kill a horse okay fine let's go home thank you for the adventure of making me see Gom it was a lot of fun at least I know that GOM actually exists in this world too I got a shield to at the hospital so I go to the house on the way home my father stops at the shuarma place we get to shua it's a very famous shua because I've said the story many times and each time I remember the sh where is it I have a sh we brought it in Brooklyn I think it was Olympic Pita oh and we everybody knows Olympic Pita so I went there I had we actually took the sh home went to my fancy apartment where at the house I tell everybody thank you for the Advent Adventure today it was nice to see everyone I enjoyed my sh I'm going to sleep I thought the interesting story full of pain was over 45 minutes later I wake up with worse pain than I had in the hospital two differences now number one there's no doctors to give me morphine number two the pain doesn't stop for the next 62 days 62 days of this horrendous pain where for the most amount of after putting a lot of paint killers and everything else the most amount of consecutive sleep I can get over 62 days is 15 minutes now David was a sadik so he Hades he was a Nai he was amazing so him sleeping 15 minutes a day was normal someone that doesn't have even an ounce of an ounce of an ounce of any of the merits or the Torah or the knowledge that has can't survive that way so once you are not sleeping for an extended period of time you start dying your body starts failing so my liver started to fail I started peeing blood my eyes started bleeding my ears became infected did and slowly but surely I was dying but in really doctors can't do anything for me they won't even accept me in the hospitals CU said we can't do anything for him and it got to a point where at some point my mom told me that somebody told I was going to die for whatever reason or another after 62 days Hashem had mercy on me I said okay maybe you got the point this time I gave you a bunch of test throughout your life you didn't get the point maybe this time you got the point so after 60 62 days the pain started subsiding it was still a lot of pain all day but it was manageable I only have to take 25 pain kills a day and I started going back to life I started going back to the office but it was hard for me to walk it was hard for me to move but nonetheless I was able to start functioning mentally at least I was able to start sleeping for a few hours a day and by the way one of the outcomes another outcome of not sleeping for an extended period of time is also you start hallucinating start seeing things start losing your mind so finally I realized that I'm getting better because my mind was coming back to me one of the things that I usually like to do to test myself is math problems in my head 5 * 5 50 * 50 300 * 300 12 5,12 * 15 whatever all different types of problems that take a little time to calculate to see if my brain's working then I know okay I'm alive so anyway go back to life but I don't listen to the instructions that hasem gave me the text message that he sent me I didn't listen to I ignored it the WhatsApp message I ignored it the email I ignored it and when he knocked on my door I also ignored it soem has to come back so a few months later I feel p in my leg and it doesn't go away and I have to go to the emergency room and then they tell me to the emergency room that I have a infection in between two muscles that if it was delayed within a matter of a couple of hours it would have exploded got into my blood system it would have killed me instantly so I have to have an emergency surgery but this surgery is much much more complicated and difficult and painful than the first one I have to actually stay in the Intensive Care Unit for a few weeks next to the dying people the people get shot and all types of fun stuff so I me Intensive Care Unit with a morphine drip connected to me 24 hours a day I'm pressing the button Non-Stop and life is Hell eventually I leave the hospital I go back to life I still don't get the sign I still don't answer the email that hasem sent me I still don't look up I still don't lay I still don't keep Shabbat and the problems persist 3 months later I'm back in the hospital for another surgery same thing I still don't listen couple of months later I'm back in the hospital and then eventually it gets to a point where I have a new infection a new problem every month and then my life continues to deteriorate and it gets to a point where I think a summer or two summers later one day I start feeling my my feet start hurting a couple of days later I know that my legs have doubled in size and I can't walk I go to the hospital they tell me maybe it's the heat CU it's the middle of the summer the heat so what do I look like to you a old lady that's been walking for five miles with a shopping bag what do you mean it's the heat like we can't explain it any other way why your legs doubled in size and you can't walk and it's in pain you should probably go back to medical school School medical school with all the medical school that they went to 100 years they went to medical school they still don't know how to diagnose anything they send me home and now my walking ability becomes a disability for the next year I have to walk around with a cane I'm in pain 24 hours a day for my legs now aside from the rest of my body and little by little life becomes more and more meaningless I start losing money because that can't work as much and also Hashem starts taking it away way where in the past every deal that I would do would work out I would turn dust into gold now I'm turning gold and platinum into dust everything starts failing hem says says this to the prophet says to mine is the money mine is the silver mine is the Gold Everything Is Mine give me a reason to give it to you it's all mine money you have in the bank is my money the money you want is my money the money he has my money also everything is mine I gave you a bunch of it assuming you'll do the right thing you thought the right thing was depending on everybody else's mitv you bought for other people to read you Don for everyone else to attend you donate to the family for them to pray but like H told us if I'm not for myself who's for me you can't rely on your grandfather's mitv your father being a rabbi or your teacher being a sadik what about you if I'm not for myself who's for me it's not going to help you your father sadik every day I see different people and many of them Unfortunately they don't keep anything what are you going to keep shab you know you don't keep Shabbat your Judaism is on suspension according to the rabbat chapter 30 a Jew that violates Shabbat is considered 100% an idol worshipper not like a that could be a sadik like job job we have a seph t one of the books in the Torah one of the 24 books is Book of Job job was not Jewish a and job was a sadik he was a prophet went through a big tun but nonetheless he was righteous enough for hem to write a piece of the Torah about him he didn't write about me him he wrote and he's not Jewish so you see that not being Jewish not necessarily a bad thing if you were born not Jewish but to live like a non-jew when you're a Jew is a serious problem because when you're living like a non-jew when when you are a Jew hashm doesn't consider you a righteous non-jew he considers you an idol worshipper and that's a bad place to be so now I'm violating Shabbat I'm not doing anything for myself I'm relying on everyone else figure you donate the money to the rabbi and he's going to do MIT that's not what hasm brought you to the world why because if he wanted to give money to the rabbi he just told us all the money is his anyway you can give it to him in a different way he doesn't need you don't tell me you're going to get a career and make $100 million because you give doesn't need your he already has a lot if he wants to give it to the rabbi give it to the rabbi a different way if he wants to give it to the school give it to a different way he doesn't need your help the only thing he wants from you is for you to do mitv only thing he wants from you is to for you to fulfill your purpose and as we said earlier today to a few of the students had a in conversation with it says in if someone is not involved in in the honor of hem on a daily basis thear says it was better that he never came to the world to that extent meaning you have to do something every day try you don't necessarily succeed every day we're rewarded for effort execution is hashem's business it's not in your business you try to help people do chuva whether they do chuva or not hm's business you keep Shabbat whether you do it the best possible or not is B is your effort Hashem will decide what's going to happen you try to learn a lot of Tor whether you become a or not is hm's decision you work you exert your effort AEM will decide whether you succeed or not but the point is you are responsible for trying so you're responsible for trying to do every day do something for hem every day not once a week not once a month not once a year not be one of these people oh no no for I haven't gotone to the school in three years I donated $5,000 for no thank you every day M says if you don't do it every day serious problem there's no purpose you're not fulfilling your purpose so me donating all the money only thing it helped me with is that he gave me more time to do CH that's it says okay soem even though he had many many reasons to take me out of this world cuz I had plenty of sins apparently it's gave me a little more time but it wasn't like time like I was enjoying it it was time I was suffering nonetheless eventually I get to a point where I don't want to live anymore and my mom makes a phone call she tries to get a from some rabbis she calls different rabbis all over the world in Israel and the US and different places you know every Safar mom has a phone book full of rabbis names and she calls these different rabbis but today no one's answering the phone and she calls this number in Israel and a woman answers the phone after after an hour and a half of calling people finally somebody answered the phone a woman answers the phone and says is so and so there and the woman says in Hebrew I'm sorry wrong number so after you call for an hour and a half to get a B for your dying son and no one answers and finally somebody answers and you got the wrong phone number my mom broke down she starts crying over the phone to this strange lady andem peaks in and shows us whose boss when the woman says dois which is my mom's name the woman not only knows my mom but she identified her voice and my mom is in shock she stops crying and she says who are you and how do you know my name she says I'm Pina your niece wow my mom dialed the wrong phone number in the wrong country and she got to a person that not only knows her but later on we find out is the only person that could help so P says to her what's wrong my mom is still shocked she well how did I get to you I don't even have your phone number we've never spoken on the phone before they didn't have a existing relationship they related but you know like many of us have cousins we just or nieces and nephews and so on but doesn't necessarily mean we're BFFs so she says to her I don't know how you reached me but if Hashem made you reach me obviously there a purpose for it she go what's wrong and she says well listen my son is dying everyone knows it's a problem I'm looking for a blessing she says well if you're looking for a blessing why don't you call my brother he's a big and he also lives next door to oh you would talk to me she goes of course you're the ant for America talk to you call him so my mom calls him and is obviously to call it so he doesn't pick up but then his his wife picks up and she has a call him call her my mom and he calls my mom and now I didn't even know who A was I never knew he existed before this day I didn't know I had a cousin that was a I didn't know I had a cousin that named but he calls my mom and my mom talks to him and she cries and she says this and that and help him and H and fr gets to a point he goes okay does he you speak Hebrew he speaks a little Hebrew I go can I talk to him I says no he's probably not going to want to talk to you he doesn't talk to anybody anymore and at that very moment that she's telling brother frme that I won't talk to him I decide to call my mom on the other line and she picks up hysterical crying saying talk to him talk to him as if I already know who she's talking to and I said to who and why you're crying and why is this person making you cry she goes talk to a fryan I'm like who's a fry she goes it's your cousin he can help you could this I'm like all just stop crying anyone you want to talk to me just tell him to call me I'll answer FR calls and we start talking and he gives me the first story that he tells me goes you like stories like yeah sure why not he tells me a story about Judah and Tamar and different wisdom behind the story why hasem made it so I love the story and we talk for an hour and 40 minutes we learn tah I ask him questions he gives me answers and I find out that this cousin of mine is a very smart guy so a week later he calls me same time same day Thursday 4:00 and we talk for three hours I ask him questions he gives me answers but he gives me the type of answers that are the best answers it answers with a source I ask him a question he gives me an answer where he's like oh rabbi so and so asked the same question 812 years ago in this book on this chapter on this page to me I never knew what was I'm like how do you know the page how do you know the book so I thought maybe he's like he knows like two books I just continue asking questions he just keeps giving me answers with the page number with the rabbi with to this with the that I'm like how does he know this stuff I ask him science questions he knows the answers ask him business questions he knows the answers ask him I never saw anything like it's similar to the my student that converted yesterday we had a mar having another student convert to Judaism left falsehood of Christianity but was M connected to the Torah she became addicted to it so the bedine usually conversion by the time the conversion actually takes place you know they know if the convert serious or not so they ask him a few questions it's not like a meeting of five hours or anything they ask him a few questions if you know the answers and you looks like you've changed your lifestyle looks like everything is good they convert you but the bed was so impressed with her answers they would ask her one question she'd give them an extensive answer with sources so it just became like an interesting lure became like a k for an hour and a half they're asking a question just to see how much more she knows like they start telling us like listen not we're not actually going to ask you this for conversion we just really want to know how much you know it's like asking you know what is oh yeah you do it because of this and because of that it's so parts of but also it's this and it's that she gives them the whole details oh you know this you know that becomes like someone is dedicated can become even if they come from another Nation so now I find this and I start getting some answers to questions I had my whole life and ultimately these questions lead me to a point of realizing that not only is Hashem real but it's the very much it's the AEM of the Torah and now hasem gave us this instruction set and I have to start learning it I have to start seeing what it says and I have to start getting to a point of doing it so little by little I start learning Tor I start dedicating time to the Tor and little by little the material world gets to a point of being completely meaningless to me mainly because I start seeing Hashem run the world how so after seven years of suffering and being in pain and going to over 50 different doctors just trying to diagnose the problem not solve it cuz in order to solve a problem first you have to know what the problem is so I went to over 50 different doctors experts in all types of fields of medicine whether it was traditional medicine or holistic medicine acupuncture steroids surgeries whatever you want I became an experiment even at some point and in a science study they started injecting ozone into my bloodstream a few times a week figuring maybe it'll clean my blood system by purifying my blood they didn't realize that the only way to purify your blood is by eating kosher food you could have ozone going to your blood system which theoretically supposed to clean your blood system but if you're a Jew eating non kosher whether it's non Kosher meat non kosher chicken or even non kosher pizza which by the way is milk and meat at the same time if you just look at the ingredients of pizza everyone has the same basic ingredients cheese tomatoes and bread why am I saying it's milk and meat it's actually wor it's worse than eating pig eating pizza at Pizza Hut eating pizza at dominoes eating pizza at Goos or one of these non- koser places is worse than eating pig cuz Pig it's one sin eating non kosher pizza is multiple sins and the reason why is one of the ways that they make cheese is by using different types of meat that comes from the stomach of pigs and other non- kosher animals and even sometimes kosher animals but nonetheless it comes from meat the way to make different types of sauce is by using different types of meat that they cook it with and this is not a theory this is a fact you look up cheese you go to the supermarket and you look at the dairy aisle and you'll see there is 150 different types of cheeses that are not Kosher and five that are Kosher why they 150 don't want to pay rabbis to make a kosher has nothing to do with the rabbis has to do with the ingredients and ingredient of using different parts of the stomach of animals as part of cheese is already mentioned in thear for over 2,000 years when thear asks are we allowed to eat the cheese of the it says no because they use meat to make it so now I didn't know this so I would say no I don't eat burgers at McDonald's I don't eat this at some other T place but I eat pizza or I eat the pasta with some cheese on it not thinking it's a big deal little do I know that I'm making a worse in milk and meat at the same time so you can put all the ozen in the world and my blood is not going to help cuz my blood's still not pure so slowly but surely I start realizing that this instruction set is something I have to listen to 100% there's no such thing as a half a Jew it's either a real Jew or nothing so I start listening to this instruction set I start learning it and then I discover a Tora in this week's par and last week's par it mentions a few interesting things we meet Yu and as is brother when someone comes to me a secular tell me oh my father is a sadik my grandfather's sadik they're Rabbi they're this they're that so I tell him how come you don't keep any go no my father's a big sadik I said yes but as's father was also a sadik he was actually his name wasu but if you look in the prophet Malachi hasem says yob I loved him but I hated as I hated asav he says both of them their father was a sadik whym hate him in it says that as was born with a beard not just hairy on his body actually was born with a beard looked like a was also a t he knew Tor knew a lot of Torah he knew so much Tor that he asked how much salt do we have so I can give off the salt you want to give Mas salt you don't give Mas the salt what do we learn from here was a he knew Tor but he didn't listen he knew Torah but he didn't follow but he pretended to so he had a long beard sweep the floor just like Osama Bin Laden he knew Tora but he still served his father dogs when sent him to go find him deer to eat he couldn't find the deer so he just killed the two hunting dogs he went with and he served it to his [Music] father my phone's also giving me the sign soem says I hated him why because he knew the truth he didn't follow we're going to finish with two points now in this week we see that yob asks hem hasem please protect me from as my brother yob after he went to yes for 14 years without sleeping learning Tor k becoming then not saying about that's cheating him for 20 years still not even telling the wives that their father's a cheater just not to say is asking don't have my rash brother kill me how does this make any sense so what does he do he goes okay you know what I'm going to send them all of these sheep and chickens and cows what's that going to do he send them cows so he doesn't kill you he send them chickens so he doesn't kill you on the way had this in the Book of Proverbs M it says so says if you seek it referring to the Torah if you seek it as if it were silver if you search for it as if it were a treasure then you will understand the fear of hem and discover the knowledge of God for hem grants wisdom from his mouth comes knowledge and understanding soem is telling you if you seek knowledge of Torah like it's silver and treasure then I'll give it to you then you'll understand that I run the world then you'll have then you'll know who I am but another word for silver it also means k k means money meaning if you chase my Torah like you chase money then I'll give you the answer then I'll give you everything and it gave me a when says if he has the gold why does he mention the silver because the silver is not silver the silver is money but money is also saying saying if you're chasing my Torah like you chase money then I can give you the Z also then I can give you as well as then you're fulfilling your purpose so you see my friends when people ask me after you got healed with healed you Hashem gave you everything full health is everything already full health you're already a winner why don't you just go back to Wall Street make money again the answer is because I don't want to be asav you see the reason why Y in this week's sent them chickens sent them cows and sent the material is because he knew that even though is knew the truth he didn't care about it all he cared about was material all he cared about was KF all he cared about was Z all he cared about was Anor all he cared about was kavod he didn't care about the first born right he cared about the inheritance that comes with it so when yov said listen if I'm going to protect myself against asav oh I remember he sold the first was burn born right because he wanted material he wanted the food you SE into food that he's willing to sell his firstborn right but then he figured that he's going to cheat me but then abah a gave me the blessing anyway so now he's thinking oh I'm going to get all the money so now he wants to kill me I tell him no no no you don't have to kill me here's all the money here's all the money why was yov so comfortable with giving him all this money because he finally understood what Le means says I already have Torah I don't need money any questions for [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music]