Marriage Fights Over Torah, Free Will, Praying For Success, Holding Hands | STR COMPILATION #4

[Music] does hypnosis undermine Free Will some people under hypnosis have great strength pain tolerance and can perform amazing memory recall uh with specific details everything is in a Torah what is the uh Torah perspective of hypnosis so there is a movie that ra misi made years ago called life after death as uh part of that movie uh he goes into uh parapsychology uh and uh different aspects of psychology and there are certain hypnotists that are in the psychology world as well where they use hypnosis in order to do something called regression which is to get a person to go back even before their life and uh they've been successful at getting people to go go and start going back to their previous carnations which as a side note is also one of the interesting proofs of reincarnation uh being you know 100% real and not just uh Theory uh even in the non-jewish world it's it's a uh it's a known thing anyway they're able to get people to go back uh many many hundreds of years before their time and in some cases they've been documented of having a person that uh lets for examp example spoke English before hypnotized as his only language that he spoke and then they would go and do this regression and the person would go back I don't know 500 years or a thousand years and start speaking to them uh you know ancient French which nobody speaks today really anymore uh so uh yes they've been able to do that and under hypnosis now I don't recommend this because it is dangerous if the person you know the person could perhaps get a person to go back but it doesn't necessarily they can get you to go uh come back uh to where you are that's number one uh number two you should never really play with your mind uh your mind is too valuable uh to play with it to mess with it uh what a who wants you to be is your standard self if he wanted you to be hypnotized he would make that the standard uh so yes there are some that have been able in uh you know in a cabalist world to do things much much more than hypnosis there's even which is being able to take the of a person yourself or other people and literally lift it to the heavens and show the person different things and there's stories like this in the and there's even stories like this in recent Generations uh much much more than hypnosis uh but again this is dangerous uh you know if it's not done the right way uh even by people that are holy uh we have a story in one person died uh and number two it's simply not what Hashem is looking for us to do Hashem is not looking for us to have our mind go to uh La La Land it's it's a even though it seems like yeah but I could uh be more focused I could be more strong I could uh contain more pain yes but you can't stay hypnotized for the rest of your life you know you have to go back to yourself so that if if you have to keep going back to a standard that means that the standard is what Hashem wants you have to elevate the standard you have to elevate the standard but without anything else I want to know if our growth is oriented only by God's blessing or commands so the in 16 B and uh and R and 16a uh both say that decrees how much money that you're going to make how many uh obligations you will have how many loans you will generate how many loans you'll have to take how much money you'll borrow how much money you'll lose how much money you'll win how much profit you'll make all of those things are decided on on R all of it is decid on until R of the following year all of that is decided now the bmov says that um it's interesting because on one aspect the gar is saying that hasem decides once a year how much we're going to make but if you look at the mishna which preceded the gar it says that we're judged every day we're judged every day so comes the bmov and explains it and says they're not contradictory they're not contradictory it's just that although hasem decides what we're going to make for that whole year on how we're going to make it how we're going to make it what we're going to keep what we're going to have to spend and all that other stuff that's decided b dayto day based on our actions based on our actions so a person could be decreed that he's going to make a million dollar in year 2021 according to the Christians 5781 according to obviously am decide this person is going to make a million dollars he decides but then that person starts wasting seed and guess what Shem doesn't necessarily need to take away the million dollar and make him not make the million dollars he continue he got a job that gives him a million dollars a year sh is not going to fire every single person that makes sense right so he got a job pays him $100,000 a month he's making $1.2 million a year and he's wasting seed anyway so what does AEM do simple he just gives them a bunch of losses in other ways all of a sudden IRS shows up and says oh listen you $1.2 million you got give uh you got to give us half okay so now he's down to 600,000 you're going to say wait a minute but he was de anyway no yeah but then the IRS already knows his number and he comes back a week later says oh we noticed we we were very happy when you sent us that $600,000 check for half your money but we noticed that in the previous years you uh you miscalculate you owe us another 100,000 so now he's already down from six from 1.2 million to 500,000 then all of a sudden he looks in the mirror and he oh look at that my teeth are falling off goes to the doctor doctor says listen you have a very unique case you have a very tragic case you have to change your whole mouth that's another 50,000 oh oh so he continues to waste seed why because he's depressed he's lonely he's miserable and he continues making himself feel better for 5 seconds not realizing that he is creating bigger problems so now he's down to 450 cuz he spent 50,000 on his teeth then he goes to uh you know to to work thinking okay so I uh spent my money on taxes I spent my money on my teeth okay everything's okay all of a sudden is uh you know his his friend calls him Hey listen don't you live on that house at such and such address yeah well it's on fire what what do you mean oh okay he goes home he sees there is no home got a fire then on top of that he loses a uh you know a deal someone sues him and on and on and on he starts really realizing that all of the money that he has is going for medical expenses for taxes for lawsuits for problems uh and so on and so forth he's still making a million dollars how much did he keep either nothing or in some cases even negative I know a bunch of people like that bunch of people like that they make a fortune as far as their income but as far as what they end up keeping literally the vast majority of people that make a lot of money have nothing to speak of have nothing to speak of they're what a person that I know from years ago called them these are high income people high income people why High income people why don't you call them Rich because they're not rich they make half a million a million 2 million 4 million a year 5 million a year but you look at their assets and how much money they have in the bank has no relation whatsoever to their income and this is the reality in the vast majority of people that are young Young Money young money and I don't mean Young Money just because they're young in age but they're new to money they just started making a million 2 million 3 million a year or half a million whatever it is they started making they're in the beginning stages of their uh of their High income almost all of them have no nothing to speak of almost all of them are spending every dollar they're getting the guy just signed a uh $7 million deal he already spent $2 million within the first couple of months and he doesn't realize that all he really has left is another million bucks the rest of it is going back to taxes uh and the thing is though is that many times athletes live like this and other high income people live like that and they don't have anything to speak of which means that as soon as that income goes away uh it's as if they never had anything before uh they can't keep most of the assets that uh require them to continue having that money and hence the crisis you know becomes a uh tragic tragic and these stories are very common and the point is is that all this while it wasn't it wasn't decreed for them to lose everything it was decreed for them to make their actions caused them to lose it their actions caused them to lose it AEM said listen I'm going to give you $7 million a year for playing football you decided to waste that money on wasting seed and prostitutes and and clubs and all types of stuff wait wait what do you mean how does wasting seed uh waste money well because each one of those seeds is supposed to be a child and everyone knows the says that each child is designated a certain amount of money a child is born into the world hasem gives them gives the family a certain amount of money to raise that kid so each time you're wasting seed that money that was designated for that kid also leaves your pockets and hence the point is of why no matter how much more money you're making you don't really have much to speak of and sometimes you're going to say wait a minute but yeah but yeah this guy he uh made a billion dollars and uh he's the biggest uh shemo in the world he's the worst person in the world so how do you explain that it's a long marathon is how I explain it has a long time he doesn't have to act and dance to our tune the long Marathon long Marathon I tell you a story we almost finished tell you story just maaz m everybody thinks that they're guaranteed a long life and if you say no no no I know I'm not guaranteed a long life but I figure I'm going to be here for another 20 30 40 50 years everyone thinks they have a bunch of time bunch of time left AEM if it wasn't real I wouldn't even make up something like this I wouldn't even make up something this my own dear father God bless him and give him many many years my own dear father tells me the other day he says you're never going to believe it I said what happened he says listen you're never going to believe it a friend of mine dear friend of his says we eat lunch and you know my father Works in a Diamond District in 47th Street over there where they do jewelry and things like that New York say a friend of mine he says we eat lunch together every day every day he comes to my my office we have lunch we talk a little bit sometimes we do business but you know we're good friends for years I know for 20 years okay he said you don't understand he came for came by I brought him a sandwich from uh my mom made the sandwiches for both of them I brought him a sandwich he came by we ate half the sandwich said why don't you eat the rest you go no no I'll come back later come back later tonight we'll eat the rest of the sandwiches together said okay I'll see you later you you don't understand if you understand the story you understand everything I said today you don't understand the story you probably don't understand anything that I'm saying this young man maybe 50 years old 55 years old 60 tops I don't know the exact ages but he's young young guy according to us he has half his life ahead of him how's a sandwich how's everything how's everything everything good everything's good okay I'll see you in a few hours and uh we'll eat the rest of the sandwiches together okay he didn't Sur survive the next few hours he didn't survive the next few hours goes outside does a few things before you know he has a heart attack dies on the spot in middle of 47 Street dies my father so hard he goes I I can't believe it I just saw him we had a sandwich together we had a sandwich together supposed to me later I asked I call somebody where'd he go where where did AB go I thought I was going to see him no you don't believe it what happened we are so blind and stupid sometimes that we think no no I'll do Cha tomorrow I'll do cha in 10 years from now I'll do cha when I get married I'll do cha when I'm old and Rusty you know we think we all think we have a long time gives us M lessons everywhere he says look at that may we are still here we are still have work to do we still have work to do I don't know his bill I don't know anything all I know is that he may be in G but we are still here but even with somebody that was righteous good person says no one even promised you to see the other half of the sandwich no one even promised you to see the other half of the sandwich what what makes you think that you could just postpone MIT postpone postpone don't postpone anything when it comes to you have an opportunity to give you give it right away you have an opportunity to pray right away do ch right away learn right away do everything right away that's what we learned from abuu was zealous for by being speed speedily doing everything and this is what a person needs to do person needs to do and take things seriously if he takes things seriously he's never going to miss out on life he doesn't take things seriously he live regrets do we have to be a con convert in order to help out the Spanish translation videos I really would like to help out with that there are many Spanish speaking people uh no you do not need to be a convert in order to help us uh translate the videos to Spanish or to any other language we have a uh team of people of volunteers that help us translate the things translate our videos to different languages to Korean to German French and Indian Turkish Spanish Portuguese french Hebrew uh so Russian we have quite a few people that are helping us and they're not all Jewish some of them are non-jews that are in the process of converting to Judaism and some of them are non-jews that are planning on staying non-jews but being more and more righteous so as part of them giving forward giving back for for what they get out of the videos for free they're helping us by volunteering and doing the subtitles so if you would like to help us do that you want to volunteer we'd be more than happy to accept your help just uh send me a private message on either Facebook or on my WhatsApp is usually better uh and I'll connect you with our team manager and he'll uh guide you to uh you know how to help us thanks again for your help praying for things that we want material or non-material if we do not know what is best for us perhaps we're asking something that is not good for us but as M if we pray enough Hashem will give it to us if okay so you're writing a whole Journal I get the question um try to make the question shorter guys no no disrespect it's just that there's other people uh so what's the point of of of a asking for stuff first you should know that uh the wisdom that's in your question is that whatever we're asking for is bad for us you're right much of the things we ask for are are many times bad for us and schl prayed to hem that he does not grant us the things that are bad for us when we pray for them he doesn't Grant this to us now of course sometimes we'll pray for things that are bad for us has a story where a young man uh prays for a woman and the one of the rim one of the sages at the time says to them you shouldn't pray for her she's not good for you uh and he said no no but I want her but I want her she's not good for you and either way the guy was crying the following year the Rob sees the uh the same young man crying again he goes you're still praying for that same girl he goes no now I'm crying because I my prayer was fulfilled and I ended up marrying her and says you know from there we learned that you should not pray for things that are specific meaning you can pray for Sal ation but don't say she is my salvation he is my salvation that is my salvation just pray for pray for good pray for good things unless you know there's specific things if it's a health issues things like that point is pray for something general pray to be healthy instead of pray for to remove this cancer you know pray uh to to have parasa instead of praying for this specific job don't really be so specific with hasm why cuz again like you said many times it's bad for you and hasem is simply protecting you and two you're limiting yourself by praying for something specific because if hasm wants to give you a Salvation he wants to give it to you in a different way but you're only praying for this then you're limiting it so that's the thing so it is important to pray uh very important to pray but don't be so specific so we have a couple of ways to make donations Benny you could press the button at the bottom of this uh live video is a donate button if it doesn't work you could simply go to ourm page b z r a t h a s h m.org and over there there are two options to donate uh two different buttons one's a yellow button and one is a different color button uh there are two different Merchant Banks you could donate in either one one is PayPal and one is a different company called flip card or you could just uh best yet you could also download our app you could download our app and you could uh donate via uh uh iPhone via iOS or Google you can donate on your phone so whichever way thank you very much for your support to come the Mind prior to prayer a form of K kosher meditation if you will and so on okay so the uh the ramban the ramban writes that before a person prays they should do chuva meaning they should start reviewing some of the mistakes they made if it's a morning prayer then the mistakes that they made the night before the day before and say I'm sorry for it oh yesterday I misspoke yesterday I yelled yesterday I did this yesterday I did that I'm sorry Hashem I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry why because now that you're saying I'm sorry to Hashem you're in essence sanctifying yourself and preparing yourself for uh you know for your prayer which in essence is similar to Preparing the sacrifice before sacrificing it to hm preparing the animal before sacrificing it to hasem which is in essence is a replacement of the sacrifices of the bet mikdash is our prayers which doesn't necessarily mean that we didn't pray back then I mean actually the page 86 uh 85 85b says specifically that uh the prayers uh for our Chua were always part of our chv even at the time of the BET mikash and we're actually always Superior to even the sacrifices but our prayers have even more value today because we don't have the ability to bring sacrifices uh but needless to say that preparation was necessary back then the preparation of the animal and the preparation of the person of do chuva before speaking to Hashem was necessary back then and is even more necessary today so the best way to prepare for a prayer is to review your previous day briefly look at a few mistakes that you've made say I'm sorry plan forward to do better today uh and do this before your prayer which could literally take you know 5 10 20 minutes half hour an hour or it could take two seconds depends who you are and where you're at with your life but uh you do that and that's not only going to get your prayer to be better but also it will calm your nerves and it will put you in a state where you're uh you're now moving forward because you're uh fixing what's behind you you're fixing the past female physically by crossing the street or if they use a wheelchair can a male assist them uh I mean if if the woman is disabled and there is no other woman to help her there's no other woman to help her cross the streets and she needs help then yes a man can help her uh this in essence is also in line with the uh with the um uh the whole argument of let's say a male doctor is allowed to be a gynecologist uh a male doctor is allowed to be a gynecologist why you know you're not even allowed to look at another woman's fingers and uh enjoy them you're not allowed to uh you know touch a woman's hand that's not your wife so how could a man be a gynecologist the answer is that when someone is a professional they're too busy with their occupation normally they're too busy with the occupation and not going to uh you know go into to the desires and so on so it's the same concept here if a person you know sees that someone is suffering someone is you know paraplegic crippled or or you know otherwise uh they're not going to uh you know and they need help to uh to crush the street or any or to pick them up or something like that the the male that's picking up the woman that's uh that's disabled is not going to uh think normally he's not going to think about these desires because he's going to be too busy with his occupation of helping this person so yes it's allowed and uh my wife is very upset that I continue to rebuke her even though she's doing cha with me I don't feel like we are on the same level this is actually a wonderful question uh even though it's a statement it's still a question uh it's very common okay so I've said this before but I have to say this over and over again because it's a very common problem when a when a person first starts doing Chua uh the best blessing in the world that you can get is that your spouse is willing to come along with you that's the greatest blessing in the world you can possibly get because if your spouse is not looking to go along with you prepare for hell on Earth because it's going to be a very difficult life uh to finally get them to jump on board which means that if they're already willing to be on board with you you should already be dancing on cloud night now just because they want to go on the ride with you and do chuva with you doesn't mean that they see exactly what you see doesn't mean that they're on the same level as you uh and you cannot force a person to see exactly what you see uh by simply telling them that because again it may be clear to you but it wasn't always clear to you while it was clear for others same goes with your spouse it may be clear to you but it's not clear to her you know or to him so it's very important to know that you know you have to be very very patient with your spouse uh you know as far as as far as not to just let them do whatever they want that's not what I'm referring to but you have to be patient meaning that they're already they're trying and you know they're not forsaking it because they don't feel like it they just they don't know enough or they're just you know have a tough time dealing with something specific then you just have to be supportive that's rule number one number two no cuz you already won Tech technically they're on board anyway so it's not uh they're not bringing Christians to your synagogue they're not uh going out clubbing you know they're they're going they're on board with you they're perhaps not as uh uh passionate as you are maybe you like to pray you know uh for uh two hours three times a day and your wife barely prays once a day or maybe she doesn't even pray once a day because she's so busy she didn't even get to it yet listen khabibi you can't rebuke her about that why you're at a certain level she's at a certain level and you know she'll get there she get there you have to be you have to it's it's not if she was walking up with a minis skirt that's a problem that's a problem but praying although she should don't make a argument over this and and Rule Number Two do not be the rabbi of your spouse do not be the raban of your spouse do not rebuke each other as couples unless you want to get divorced if you want to get divorced or you want your wife to poison you or you want your husband to cheat on you do not rebuke each other you are not each other's Rabbi or raban nor should you be can you guide each other sure can you give each other advice sure can you discuss things absolutely you should but rebuking each other absolutely not why first and foremost to rebuke somebody that uh you see in the most inconvenient times you see in the most embarrassing times is really ridiculous it's very hard for such a person to take you seriously at all times that's number one number two it's you're not you're not the vessel you're not the vessel why because everything you say they'll take personally everything you say they'll take personally and everything you say they they'll be offended by even if you mean well they'll feel like you're personally attacking them number three if you are B that means you don't know enough yourself which means that you should focus on yourself and you should let someone that knows more do the do the work uh do the work which is why I tell most people you shouldn't really rebuke directly you should do it indirectly by giving the CD by giving the uh videos uh they going tell yeah but they don't want to watch it okay so they don't want to watch it find somebody that wants to watch it it's better to work on finding more people to watch the videos and and listen to the CDs then for you to burn Bridges and and and rebuke your loved ones why because it's again it's going to be more effective even though it's going to take you a year to find one person to listen to our shim it's better that you wait a year to find one person is than spend a whole year burning every relationship that you have uh so again unless you know what you're talking about unless you know how to argument un unless you know how to be sensitive to people's feelings how to say certain things but to just say the things that I say when I speak generally and you're speaking specific is is could be very harmful very harmful to a relationship so it's better like I said if you bring my lecture you show it to somebody I'm not talking to the person that you're showing it to I'm talking generally and they know that so even though it's talking specifically about their problem they're not feeling if they're normal they're not feeling attacked why cuz it's not they know I'm not talking to them but they know it's relevant to them and any wise person would simply follow suit but the point being is when you're talking to them and you're telling them yeah you're doing this wrong you're like a terrorist you're like a spiritual terrorist so you have to relax I mean one of the worst things that uh I've ever seen in media is when you have religious communities uh in different places you know throw rocks or insults or curses at secular people that are walking around now to to frown upon uh immodesty and things of that nature obviously is a is good but to go insult them who give you the right to insult them to go curse them who give you the right to curse them to go yell at them who gave you a right to yell at them who gave you a right to do that so that's the same concept you have to be very careful you're going to rebuke people rebuke strangers meaning people that are not so close to you people you're not sleeping in the same house with uh and many people for whatever reason think that the best people to rebuke are their immediate family their parents their kids their uh uh wives their it's not it's not ideal it's not ideal and I I've tried this and uh failed and tried and failed and I'm telling you it's it's just it doesn't work very well sometimes it does work but that's unique That's Unique it's not common it's not common so the point being is it's even less common even less common between spouses and yes you're going to say yeah but from her story meaning my story that I brought a lot of stuff to my wife and so on and so forth yes I did bring a lot of things to my wife to help her do cha but I wasn't alone I had a rabbi with me and he would talk and I would translate uh many times and if she would have a question she would go and I would be there and and so on so I wasn't just by myself like a rodeo show you know I had somebody with me uh and uh she knew that I wasn't saying my opinion there so that's the thing it's a it's in essence I had what I'm recommending for you to have which is you have my sh you could just recommend for her to watch it you could recommend F to watch the sh and that's it leave it at that because if you rebuke your loved ones they'll eventually hate you they'll eventually hate you unless they have a unique personality and they accept it but that's not very common especially in a close relationship like a marriage uh it's much more difficult to rebuke a spouse than it is to let's say rebuke a brother or sister why because as much as you love your brother or sister it'll never be as close as the relation you have with your wife or your husband uh so so that's that's the uh that's the thing so you have to not rebuke not rebuke your spouse under any condition you can consult if they ask you can advise if they ask and they're open to it you can discuss if you know if it's if it's the opportune time but they go and for the for the attack as soon as you see her you know Crossing uh crossing your path without saying not a good idea not a good idea you're going to have a lot of problems in your life uh and uh it's not a good idea uh you want uh to give her information you can give her the information via our lectures or perhaps if you have anybody else uh that uh you're motivated by and tells the truth then do that you know share their lectures as well [Applause] [Music]