How Can You Tell If You Grew Closer To God and In Torah? | TORAH FOUNDATION (20)

We're back here on our Sunday night Torah Foundation series where after we learn some basics of the foundation of the Torah, we could easily apply these things to our lives and literally transform them. There was a guy that came to Rav Kanievsky years ago and told him that he has a problem. What's the problem? The problem is that his daughter went on a shidduch date with this young bochur who's a really nice guy. Really nice bochur, really good middos, comes from a decent family. But what can you do that he has he's not exactly the the brightest tool in the shed, let's just say that. He has a weak mind. And the the father was saying to Rav Kanievsky what does the Rav think? I mean, especially since there are other offers that my daughter has. Rav Kanievsky said to the father he says, "You know my father, the Steipler Gaon used to go to all of the different rabbis to ask them to give me a blessing. When I was a little boy all the way even when I was older. Do you know what he used to ask them to bless me?" The guy says, "No, rabbi, I don't know." He says, "Well he used to ask them to bless me that I have a stronger mind. Have a stronger mind. To give me siyata d'Shmaya that Hashem would help me because I had a very very weak mind. So much so that when I was a little boy and already the kids already all knew how to read in the class I did not even know the aleph-bet. That's how weak my mind was. And it didn't change that much over the next several years and in fact even when I got to my teenage years at best I was average. The guy is obviously surprised that the gedola dor is saying these things about himself that he never knew. And then the Rav says, "Come, let me take you some Let me show you something." He follows the Rav and then he points at these books. He says, "You see these books? I wrote all these books. So even though I had such a weak mind I toiled and toiled and baruch Hashem I was able to write a few good books. From there we learn rabbotai kerim that regardless of where a person starts certainly they could improve over time. And that's one of the main things we're going to learn today of how does it really apply to our life? When people do teshuvah, when people convert to Judaism they usually are on a roller coaster of emotions. But at the same token there's a lot of excitement a lot of growth, a lot of changes. Especially the way that they dress, the way that they look. In some regards the way that they behave as well. What they eat, where they go words they use, their vocabulary changes, what they spend their time doing. And the more they learn Torah the more confident they feel that they are finally going to fit in into the chosen people into their grandfather's family because their grandfather was a rabbi but their father wasn't so much and their childhood wasn't exactly full of religion and now they're 25, 35 years old and they're doing teshuvah but they don't really know so much about Torah but after they've learned for a few years they start acclimating to this new environment. And they feel strong. They feel better. And many times if they don't have the understanding that they have to have a rabbi that directs them, a rabbi that guides them they can make bad decisions. And one of the bad decisions that people make is that they start rationalizing the Torah. They start trying to understand things based on their own common sense. On one end we see that many heretics do just that. They start rationalizing the Torah. They try to explain it in ways that are not part of our tradition. Whether it's saying that everything in the Sefer Bereishit in the book of Genesis is a instead of being reality, it's just a parable or it's explaining that the Kohen Gadol would get high in the Kodesh Kodashim because according to some non-Jewish scientist that's what they think. All types of strange things that people come up with. But on the other hand the Chovot Halevavot told us over the last couple of weeks that if you have the ability to use your reasoning then you must. And if you don't you'll be prosecuted for it. So the question is when are we allowed to use reasoning and when aren't we? Tonight's shiur is going to be for the refuah shleimah of Rav Ephraim ben Shulamit, Rabbanit Sarah bat Anat, Rabbanit Levana bat Sarah, Sarah bat Levana Vimesh ben Noach and all of Am Yisrael and all the righteous Noahides and of course Avi Mori, David ben Israel and Moti Doris bat Giora and all of Am Yisrael and all the righteous Noahides that support our organization whether it's by donating in our Kimcha d'Pischa to help us help poor people in Israel during this time of the year before Pesach or it's throughout the rest of the year. The more you help, the more we can do good. And we become partners. One of the amazing things that we saw today in the campaign is that one of the people that donated says that he used to be an anti-Semite. And now he's a Noahide. Obviously aiming to be a very righteous Noahide. This is not just a nice comment. This is a Kiddush Hashem. The greatest mitzvah you could ever do to sanctify Kadosh Baruch Hu's name. That was what was done. Where a person shows the world that through the power of these lectures that teach Torah and the truth of the Torah a person can transform themselves to such an extreme that they could literally grow up and live as a Nazi, as an anti-Semite for 20, 30, 40, 50 years. But then after hearing the words of the truths of the Torah it could transform them into not only no longer being an anti-Semite but actually loving the Jewish people. Knowing who they really are. And loving them enough to support them. A lot of people have things to say about what they think about how we speak and whether it's too strong. But the best comments come from people that actually watched the lectures. Because those are the people that actually had their lives transformed. And baruch Hashem this is not the first time we've helped a person that was an anti-Semite turn into a righteous person. We've even had an a former Nazi convert to Judaism. Another case a person that grew up in a house of Hamas, literally become a righteous Jew. As you saw from one of the recent songs in teshuvah music. A lot of amazing stories have happened over the last 10 years of giving lectures. And this is all connected to growing in Torah. To growing through the power of the words of the Torah. But at the same token not everybody goes in the same path. Not everyone has such great success. Sometimes people start really good but veer off the path of success into something new something different. And it's not always as successful. Before we get into tonight's lecture, I want to remind everyone to please donate to the Kimcha d'Pischa, the sooner the better because we're already committing to help as many people as possible and the second thing I want to give you guys a heads-up for is a huge new development at our organization that will be available for the first time this year which is that our Bedouin is going to be able to buy the chametz or sell the chametz for everyone that wants to sell it through the efficient process that we've developed with technology through WhatsApp. So, anyone that wants to sell their chametz this year before Pesach not only sell it but sell it through a Bedouin that they can rely on to me the chametz you'll be able to do it through this uh program that we'll be launching in the next couple of days. We'll have it in uh several languages in Hebrew and English, Spanish, Portuguese. And uh this is the sham in coming years and other languages as well, but in order for you to have it, of course, you have to join our groups and uh be able to get access to this uh to this link. But once you have it, it's a very, very easy, very efficient way to sell your chametz without filling out forms, without going to a synagogue, without asking who, what, when, and how. It's all literally right in front of you. You simply answer the questions, you fill out the information on a WhatsApp message, which is where everybody is anyway these days cuz they're sending messages. And you'll be able to sell your chametz. And because this is of course our first year doing it, it's free. We'd appreciate any donors, but nonetheless it'll be something that we're giving to cloud Israel whether they watch our lectures or they don't, but anyone that wants to do it is welcome to do it. And this is the sham it'll be a big success where people will know that they could be comforted, that they're not worried about selling their chametz whether the people they did it through were actually doing it or not or whether you'll have it taken care of the ship. So, with that being said about the time we go back to the Bedouin of the vote. We go back to rough Kanievsky. We go back to all of the sages that take us by the hand each week to understand where our heart is supposed to look at. Where our heart is supposed to be. In the last couple of weeks the Bedouin of the vote told us first when it comes to Judaism it's not like any of the other religions where you could just simply coast without any concern. Rather, there's an obligation from Hashem that not only we fulfill the Torah but if we were given a certain talent, a certain ability, certain resources, whatever we can do, we must do. This is also said by Melech. Everything that's within your strength, do it. But the Bedouin of the vote is not just talking about giving charity or praying extra time. He's talking about delving into your heart, investigating it in order to measure whether it's close enough to Hashem or it could work harder. And he says that some people do not have the mental prowess to actually do this. They're not gifted. They're not even average. And he says those people that do not have the mental ability to do such a thing, to investigate their heart to understand the depth of certain mix vote, certain laws within the Torah certain obligations, they don't have the ability to do it. He says they won't be charged for it. Why? Hashem knows what he created. If you don't have the ability to do something, he's not going to prosecute you for something that you can't do. He doesn't prosecute us for not giving if we are poor. He doesn't prosecute us for not, you know, showing a affection to family members that need it from us because they're traumatized if we don't have a family. So, the point is is that the Bedouin of the vote knows what he created. At the same token many are gifted. Many do have the ability to delve deeper into things, no different than how they did with their career, no different than they did with other things that they're interested in whether it's be hobbies or be profession or anything else. And he says those people have a bigger obligation to dig into their hearts and find the reason. Find the reason for things. Yet at the same token again the Mishnah in the second of all tells us chametz to to Bedouin of the chametz. Wise men, be careful with your words. Why? Because if you don't say the words of wisdom the right way the students could be led to gain them instead of the garden Why? Because if a person misunderstands what the truth is. If a person does not have the ability to understand things yet then if you tell him he should rationalize things you're telling him to commit spiritual suicide. Now, everyone remembers the frustration that we all had as children when the adults told us that you'll understand when you grow up. Every kid hates it. Why? Cuz every kid feels like I know I got I know I know. I know. That's the most common word among kids. I know. They know everything. At least they think they do. But as you actually grow up you realize you know what? They were right. I do understand better now that I'm older. And the same thing applies in the world of Torah. What you understand initially is nowhere near as much as you'll understand later on if you continue growing. And the Bedouin of the vote now will delve into that part to first explain to us that if we possess the intelligence and the insight and we're capable of verifying the fundamentals of our Torah the fundamentals of our commandments then it's a duty for us to do so. But not only by our own common sense like the heretics do rather also by reason, by by tradition, by the Messiah. And he says this is proven by a couple of verses that I'll give us as example. We'll go over one of them today. The first verse he gives us is in Deuteronomy chapter 17 verses 8 through 10. Which says keep me make a double the Mishnah Bedouin of the double Bedouin of the double Bedouin of the double the Bedouin of the vote the sham of the sham. The sham of the sham of the double the sham of the double the sham. If a case should prove too difficult for you in judgment between blood and blood between plea and plea between mark and mark or other matters of dispute in your courts. And the verses end by saying you must act in accordance with what they tell you. What does this mean? Here the Torah is telling us that there are things that we have to rely on the tradition. Not only because it exists but because it wouldn't make sense any other way. So, when something is too difficult in judgment means that it's not possible for you to judge because it's not based on human logic. It's rather divine logic. So, when it says when it's between blood and blood it's deciphering whether the blood is pure or it's impure when it comes to a Nida. A woman that's Nida blood comes out of that part of the body and she's forbidden to her husband for that period of time until she's purified. But sometimes there's blood that's It's from Niddah. And a person is not able to tell from themselves, you have to go to an expert. This is the reason why it's forbidden to check the Bedikah through a digital picture. It has to be done with the naked eye. The Rabbi that's an expert that has learned this, not just the laws, but learned specifically to be able to tell the difference between blood that's coming from a different part of the body to blood of the uterus will tell you whether this blood is pure or not. In a picture there's no possible way of doing that. Even if it's 8K, not just 4K, doesn't make a difference. Once a person tried to mock the Torah and they sent the Bedikah cloth to Rav Gideon ben Moshe. Rav Ephraim is a Rabbi. And they left it there. Which is the way that they do it every synagogue or yeshiva or different places in every community, they have a anonymous place where women bring their Bedikah cloth. They drop it off there in some type of uh bag. Usually with just a phone number, no name. To remain anonymous for its new purposes. And then they get a message either by getting a text message or in the older days they would be leave a note. And the person would pick it up and know that that's uh theirs. And tell them whether it's pure or not. And his decision is time sensitive, so has to be done right away. But this particular person wanted to mock the Torah and left cloth with blood on it and said, "Is this pure or not?" And Rav Gideon ben Moshe wrote to them it's not possible to become impure if the blood comes out of your mouth. He knew that this blood, although red, just like all the other blood came from the mouth and not from that part of the body. The expertise is not based on a uh rational logic. It's based on the tradition. Of course, the person amazed, shocked, embarrassed admitted what they tried to do. Further, the pasuk says that if there is a difficulty with plea and plea. Meaning the issues of Choshen Mishpat, there's damages. Two people have a conflict over money matters. He caused damage to the wall of his neighbor. The neighbor says that he owes him now a certain amount of money. There's all types of different issues that the tradition will teach us. That the law of the land is not applicable here, but rather halakha is. If he stole and he got caught versus if he stole and he gave it back without getting caught before he got caught. Different things. Also mark and mark. What is mark and mark? This is leprous mark. Not as common today. But certainly something that relies on the tradition. Why? Because when I tell you that a person that came to the Cohen and told them I have a mark. And he shows them a part of his body, his hand, his leg, some part of his body that has a small little white mark. Specific type of hair is coming out of there. At that moment the Cohen says, "Tamei, tamei." He's impure. On the other hand if somebody else comes right after and their entire body has now turned to a different color. Same color as this other guy has a little mark. But the other guy has one little mark, THIS GUY'S ENTIRE BODY TURNED THAT WAY. Cohen says "Tahor, pure." Obviously, this is not logic. This is the tradition. And therefore the Torah says V'asita al pi hadavar asher yagidu l'cha. You must act in accordance with what they tell you. What the sages tell you is the tradition is what you must do. Why? Because even if you have a 200 IQ or a thousand IQ competing with haMelech you will still not be able to understand the divine logic. So here comes the Chovot haLevavot now. And he says when you look at these cases that are cited in this first verse you will find that they are the type that must be broken down to its details categorized and analyzed in the method of tradition. Not by logical demonstration. Meaning the only way to figure out what to do in these circumstances is evaluate case by case, step by step. And how the tradition applies to it with each and every step. Notice though that among the cases that are mentioned in this verse there is no mention that's made on any matter that could have been discovered by the way of intellect. Meaning he says, "You see, they Torah tells you, listen to the sages. They're going to tell you what to do with these cases. But it specifically tells you to listen to them about cases that there's no other way for you to figure them out by your own intellect. It has to be based on the tradition. The verse does not say "If you have questions on the subject of God's unity or about his names and his attributes or on any of the fundamentals of our Torah such as the service of God, the bitachon in Hashem trusting Hashem humility before him devoting to him all that you have refining your good deeds and removing the detrimental defects turning away from sin, meaning doing teshuvah fear of God, love of God diffidence before him self-accounting because these are all purely motivated. And similar matters which a person can discover through their intellect. So first, the Chovot haLevavot is telling us, "Look, there is a time where your intellectual ability is irrelevant." Why? It doesn't apply. Because there's a tradition. And that's the only way to judge the case. But the Torah doesn't say that everything must always be judged just that way. Because it doesn't say everything. It specifies. And it doesn't mention things like emunah, bitachon, fear of Hashem, love of Hashem, and so on. Which are things that you can discover through your intellect. In fact you could also simply accept them and acquire them because the sages said it also, meaning the tradition. So you could do this and you could do that with some of these things. Whereas some things you could only use the tradition. So what the Torah is trying to teach us, says the Chovot haLevavot is that you should reflect in your own mind and use your intellect in these matters. But first, you must learn them from tradition, which covers all of the commandments in the Torah, their principles and their details, and then examine them with your mind, understanding, and judgment until the truth becomes clear to you and falsehood is rejected. As the Torah says, in the book of Deuteronomy, understand it today and reflect on it in your heart, Hashem is the God in the heavens above and on the earth below, there is no other. This is what we say in Alenu Leshabeach. To explain what the Chovot Halevavot is trying to tell us here, is that there are things that we do not have the right to use our logic because the tradition is the only way to understand them, which means God said so, therefore we do. But and then there are things like the ones we mentioned that you can and in fact, if you can, you must use your logic when you're delving into them in addition to the tradition. So, how do you know when to do that? How do you know that you grew up and you're old enough to do it? Because they told you when you were a kid, when you were a new, when you get older, when you become more knowledgeable, then you'll understand. How do you know that you could understand? About 20 years ago, when my dear Rav Rav Ephraim was still in Yeshiva, bachur Yeshiva, during this time of the year, they would usually bring big rabbis to give the boys chizuk. And Rav Dov Yaffe came to the Yeshiva. He was one of the most well-known mashgichim and extraordinary tzaddik, Yirei Shamayim, talmid chacham. And he came to speak to the bachurim in the Yeshiva. Of course, all of the bachurim were excited to hear the words of this modern-day sage, and they were looking forward to hearing all of the complicated chiddushim that he would give them, all of the extraordinary insights, what he found in the secret parts of the Torah, the hidden treasures that took decades upon decades to discover. But to their dismay, when the mashgiach Rav Dov Yaffe came, he didn't speak about any of what they expected. In fact, all he spoke about is that you know that Hashem runs the world. You must see Hashem in everything because Hashem is there. Some of the bachurim were confused. Why is the rabbi teaching us this? I mean, we're not secular kids. We're not even weak Yeshiva bachurim that don't want to be here. We're studying here. We're in the Yeshiva during bein hazmanim. Obviously, we're dedicated. Why is he talking to us like this? And when he completed his talk, some of them felt like why did he come all the way out here? He traveled an hour and a half here and he's going to go back an hour and a half just to tell us that God runs the world? Rav Rosenberg was the Rav of Netanya, the city of Netanya, or the community Rav over there. He says to them, we heard about Hashem running the world and we believe it. We believe Hashem runs the world. The difference between us and Rav Dov Yaffe is while we know it and we believe it, he lives it. And that's the difference. You can know that something exists. You can even say, I don't just believe in God, I know God exists. We have an obligation in the Torah to know God, to know that he exists. So, you can tell somebody, "Yes, I know. I know it's true. I know the Torah is true. I believe that Hashem runs the world." But then, when you hear stories of emunah, how people that are on a completely different level overcome their obstacles, you realize how far away you are from them. And you don't really understand how How is it that he's able to leave everything, sacrifice everything just to help this person that he doesn't even know? Why? How is it that he's able to rebuild rebuild his life, rebuild a community after he lost a wife and 11 kids in the Holocaust? People lose a wallet and they cry for weeks. The Klausenburger Rebbe lost an entire family, a wife and 11 kids. But yet, that did not stop him for even a moment from rebuilding the world of Torah and being one of the, literally, the forefathers of modern-day Torah. He built hospitals, he built yeshivot, he built communities in different parts of the world. Not just one part, not just two. How? You see that their reality and our reality are two different things. Rav Rosenberg was trying to tell the bachurim, we heard about emunah. And we even have emunah. But he lives it. Meaning, he sees Hakadosh Baruch Hu in everything. While we pick and choose where we remember Hashem, where we choose to have emunah in Hashem. Usually, people when it comes to being a looking for some type of way to blame Hashem when bad things happen to them, they say, "Why is Hashem doing this to me? Why is Hashem doing all these bad things to me?" But when they have something that is good or something that they want that's good, they say, "Be'ezrat Hashem." Like, hopefully Hashem is going to help me with this. Hopefully Hashem helped me with this. Meaning that it's really we choose when to put Hashem into our life. But a person can elevate themselves to a point where there is no separation. They literally see Hashem's hands in everything. Ein Od Milvado doesn't just mean there's nothing else but him to them. It's literally how they see. At the time of Rabbi Akiva Eiger, a couple hundred years ago, there was a big war against Hasidut. And surprisingly, the grandson of Rabbi Akiva Eiger became a Hasid, which was a shock to everyone and in fact a disappointment to his father. The son of Rabbi Akiva Eiger was disappointed that his that his son became a Hasid and not only a Hasid a Hasid of Kotsk which was one of the types of Hasidut that they literally couldn't stand because of how much they looked down at materialism and matters of this world. So, after the son was there for about a year or so he came back to visit his family now as a Hasid, Hasid [snorts] Kotsk. And his father says "What do you find over there at Kotsk? What do you find over there that you don't have over here?" I mean, obviously his grandfather is Rabbi Akiva Eiger, so Torah wasn't lacking. So, the father is confused. "What did you find over there that you don't have over here?" And the son says "I learned over there that Hashem runs the world." Father says, "What? Hashem runs the world? That's what you learned? That for a whole year that's what you learned?" "Yes." Father calls the maid servant. "Simple woman, come come here for a second. Excuse me, ma'am. Who runs the world?" "Hashem does, sir." "Who created the world?" "Hashem does, sir." "Who gives us everything?" "Hashem does, sir." "Thank you." He looks back at his son. "You're telling me that you spent a whole year transforming yourself to learn what the cleaning lady knows?" And the son says, "No. She says it. I live it. She knows that this exists. I live it. It's a different thing. One of the many amazing stories that Rabbi Nissim Yagan told about himself he was one of the last Baalei Mussar that would teach Mussar mamash from from the foundations of Mussar looking at different parts of life and learning how to learn Mussar from it. Most people when they teach Mussar usually it's quoting the great ones before them. But he was one of the few that was still able to bring new insights into day-to-day life that comes from the original foundations of Mussar. If you understand what I mean. And Rabbi Nissim Yagan would tell stories about his own life. And those were some of the best stories because you not only learn about the lesson he's trying to teach you but you also learn about who he is. So, Rabbi Yagan says, "You know, there was one time I was with my son and we were walking. And all of a sudden we hear this people are screaming. We look and we see that two huge pitbulls are loose and they're running free in our direction. Now, these dogs could easily tear a person to pieces. And there's no way we're going to outrun them. And both my son and I don't know what to do. And these dogs close in on us quickly. And as we're literally feeling like we're about to get attacked, THEY JUST RUN BY US. They run past us. Miracle. And then I started crying. My son initially thought I'm crying because of the miracle that just happened. But he saw that my tears weren't happy tears. They were sad tears. So, my son asked me "Abba why are you crying so much? I mean, uh something good happened. They didn't they didn't bite us. They didn't kill us." He says, "Yeah. I'm crying about myself. "Why?" "Because I'm asking myself why am I not scared of a Kadosh Baruch Hu like I was at least scared of these dogs?" When a person has trouble understanding that it's okay. Doesn't mean you're a bad person. It just means you're not there yet. But a person that does understand that, the more you understand it, the more a person reflects and the more a person could literally look into their own heart and see ayayay, I'm I can't believe I can't believe where I stand and how far I am from my goal. This was the way of all of Gedolei Yisrael. From the ones that lived in previous generation like our grandparents or even if you go as far back as David HaMelech saying "I need to learn I'm a worm but not a man." Or Moshe Rabbenu says "We are nothing." Or Avraham Avinu saying "I am I am dust and ashes." The greater they were, the more they understood how far they are from where they could be. On the other hand you see sometimes people that are far from being great. In fact, many times they're far from even being good. But yet they think they're the best. They think they are so good that they're Messiah. That Hashem must have chosen them to be Messiah. Every other day there's another psychopath that thinks he's Messiah. In our generation sometimes it's a female, too. She thinks she's Messiah. This all comes from deep-rooted arrogance to the point of people simply losing any sense of reality. On the other hand, when we look at the great sages, we see that their perspective was very different. They looked at things very different. Rabbi Isser Zalman Meltzer, a lover shalom was the rav of Rav Shach and many many of the other Gedolim that were his talmidim was known even as a young man to have a very very weak body and weak heart, so much so that the doctor told his future wife that his heart is so weak, he's probably going to die during the Shiva Brachot. And similar to what happened with Rabbi Elyashiv, who was also told the same thing Rabbi Zalman Meltzer lived to his 90s. But his body was weak. His heart was weak. That wasn't a mistake. It was true. Just the fact that Hashem decides who lives and who dies is something that the doctors didn't take into consideration. Well, anyway, when he was already in his 90s certainly even without this pre-existing issue, somebody in their 90s is certainly weak to say the least. One of his talmidim came to him and said to the rabbi, "Kvod HaRav I know that the rabbi is weak and tired, but I please wanted to invite the rabbi to come to my grandson's bar mitzvah." And Rabbi Isser Zalman Meltzer says to him, "Listen, you know I love you like a son. But even if my own son would come to me and ask me to come to his grandson's Bar Mitzvah, I would tell him the same thing, I can't. It's too hard for me. I'm too weak. Of course, the student said, "Okay, but I still want to invite you, but I understand. I'm sorry to bother you, but I had to ask. But thank you so much." Few days later, the Bar Mitzvah is taking place. And a little while after the Bar Mitzvah starts, to everyone's surprise, especially the student, the grandfather of the boy, he sees that Yisrael Zalman Zeltzer enters the room. One of Gedolei Yisrael decided to attend in his 90s. HE SAYS, "WHY? I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T COMING. WHY DID YOU COME? WHY DID YOU burden yourself with this? You didn't have to. And especially you didn't tell me you were coming, so it must have been difficult for you to come. An hour and a half, I could have arranged something for you." And Rav Zeltzer says to him, "You're right. It was very difficult for me to come. But I owe you a hakaras hatov. I owe you a big favor for what you did for me." He says, "What I did for you? What did I ever do for you?" He says, "What did I do?" He says, "When you came to me a few days ago and invited me to the Bar Mitzvah, I said no. But after you left, I thought about it for a few minutes. And I realized that it seems like it was just just yesterday that you gave me the good news that the boy was born. He was just born. And then I looked at myself, I says, "Look, Zalman. Look how quickly 13 years have passed. Gone. And you still are the same Zalman. You still have not DONE TESHUVAH. HOW MUCH MORE TIME ARE YOU going to waste with stupid How much time?" And after crying to myself and realizing, "Oy, how did I waste so many years, 13 years, and I haven't taken advantage of doing teshuvah?" I started. I started doing teshuvah. SO EVEN THOUGH IT was very hard for me to come here, I owe you a great gratitude for reminding me that I must do teshuvah. Of course, the average person is asking, "What teshuvah does the rabbi need to do? What What did he do that he actually even needs to do teshuvah for?" But the reality is about that is that the greater somebody was in their relationship the more dedicated they were the more committed they were the more they realized they can do more. Now, a person that is still young in their years of doing teshuvah in their conversion and their relationship that already thinks that they can think this way, they can do all of this and has to understand that this is not something that happens overnight. By the same token, the book is telling us this is the difference between the tradition and reason. There are certain things that we must rely on tradition, on the tradition. Why? These are laws that are divine laws. God said so, regardless of whether we understand or not, we must do. But when it comes to our servitude of God, our understanding that we need to work harder to pray better, we need to work harder to be more generous, we need to work harder in order to have more fear of God, we need to work harder in order to fix the flaws we have in our character, we need to stop pretending that we're humble when in reality we are arrogant. We need to stop pretending like we are more righteous than thou, but yet acting in a way as if the whole world is full of wicked people and we're the only righteous person alive. We need to start realizing that we ourselves need to do teshuvah. The more a person delves into themselves, the more they'll understand that there's more work to be done. And not just a little bit of work. Not even just a little more than the guy that has to do a lot because he just started. In fact, if he just started doing teshuvah, if he just started keeping Shabbat, HE HAS LESS TO DO than we do. Why? He knows less. The obligation is lesser upon him. But we that we know more, we've already been religious for 5 years, for 10 years, for 20 years, the reality is the obligation is also bigger on us. So instead of judging the world harshly, we look for ways to help them because we feel bad for them. And at the same token, we feel bad for ourselves that we actually need to help them in order to improve ourself. The more a person delves into this with reason, the more they'll understand how these Torah giants, whether it's Yaffe, Yegan, Zeltzer, Kanievsky, all of these giants that we hear about, how they got to where they are. But before we jump too far, we have to begin with an understanding that just like a baby first has to crawl before they walk, and they have to walk before they run, this doesn't only apply to physical babies. This also applies to spiritual babies. We have to realize that just because we're good at dressing modestly, we're good at dressing like a religious Jew, we're good at going to synagogue, we're good at learning a daf, we're good at giving tzedakah, we're good at a few things. Doesn't mean that we're all set. There's still a lot of work to do. And the more a person delves into where they stand, the more they realize that there's actually a lot more than what they thought. The more they delve into their own heart, the more they realize that there's a whole segment segment of it that's completely empty. And that's why the book is saying that scripture is telling us to reflect in our own mind and to use our intellect in these matters, but first learn from tradition. Why? If we're going to get to understand where we stand only by reflecting deeply, meditating over it, understanding that really it's not humility that I have, I'm actually arrogant pretending to be humble, which is the worst form of arrogance. HE WALKS LIKE THIS. YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY. What can we do? We know that I'm going to help us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But in reality, he's thinking in the back of his mind, Did they see how I said it? They saw it. You guys You guys saw how how I had the money over there? You guys saw it? Uh okay. HE'S LOOKING FOR ATTENTION. HE'S LOOKING FOR ATTENTION AND HE'S NOT really What happened? You You lost your money? Yeah, you know, Hashem gives, Hashem takes. Hashem, Hashem, you know, everything. They heard me. You guys heard I said Hashem? You guys heard said I I had the money over there? He says the things he says because he wants attention. He says the things he says because he gets more pleasure from the way people look at him than anything else. So, a person has to understand that even though you'll need to use your intellect in order to dig deep into your heart to understand where you stand, don't even try it until you have learned the tradition. Until you have learned and accepted all of the commandments of the Torah, all of the principles and the details, and then examine your mind. Because if a person goes straight to meditation, goes straight to what people like to call it what they do, he just started keeping Shabbat 3 months ago. He's already spending an hour AND A HALF A DAY IN THE middle of the woods during it what they do. No, I'm talking to Hashem. He makes his Hashem his friend. Instead of going into the woods for an hour and a half, you could do it 5 minutes during your prayer and spend the other hour and 25 minutes learning Torah, learning the tradition, learning the basics. Why? You do not have the spiritual skills yet. You do not have the spiritual skills yet in order to know how to use your intellect. Meaning, you haven't grown up yet. You don't have the ability to understand yet. Just like the frustrating little kid is frustrated because everybody keeps telling him, "You'll You'll understand when you get older." JUST LIKE THAT, THAT'S WHERE YOU STAND. WHY? Because just because you're good at doing a few things, you're good at keeping Shabbat, you're good at this, you're good at that, doesn't mean that you have the ability to understand how to investigate your own heart, how to measure where you really stand, how to understand the words of the sages properly, that it means more than one thing. And therefore, you don't have enough of the tradition in your belly in order to be able to delve into using your intellect. You see, my friends, if a person, for example, learns the Talmud every day, but he doesn't have a rabbi, the Talmud says, "God hates him." Wait, but he learned the Talmud every day. Yes. He learned it, but he didn't apply it. The Torah is not just there to learn it for mental gymnastics. It's there to apply. So, there are people that learn, but they don't do. And there are people that don't learn, and they do whatever they think they know. In order for a person to truly grow, they have to learn and do. And while they're learning and doing, they have to constantly double-check with themselves of where they stand in comparison to what they're learning and with their rabbi, who's also measuring where they stand in comparison to their learning. If they feel like they've learned everything they could from this rabbi and they need to graduate and go to a different rabbi, then more times than not, they have not reached anything other than arrogance. Why? Because they forgot that even though they've been learning from this rabbi for a year, for 2 years, for 5 years, and they grew tremendously in knowledge over those 5 years, the rabbi grew much more than them during those 5 years. Why? Isn't 5 years for him, 5 years for me? No. Because he has a much bigger foundation. His growth is exponentially higher than the students. So, the moment a person thinks that they know more than their rabbi, automatically, they should conclude, and hopefully they have enough understanding to conclude that they're actually further than they even thought. But many times, a person misuses their intellect to replace the tradition and uses the tradition to replace the intellect. Meaning, they use things in the wrong place in the wrong time. They care more about the tradition when it comes to customs than they do about when it comes to the actual laws. They care more about the laws that don't really pertain to them because they're either not of that custom or it's not something that's applicable at that time because there's no better mid-day show things like that, but they don't know how to do what they're supposed to do because they're still new. What the word is telling us is that yes, you have an obligation to eventually use your intellect in order to delve into your heart, in order to measure how much you have, you have, how much love of Hashem you want, how much trust in Hashem you have, how much in Hashem you want, how much of a connection to Hashem you have, how much you want. Yes, you need to delve into your heart, but you also have to know that the current spiritual tools you have right now could only understand so much. And therefore, you have to continue doing it again and again, meaning the same exercise of measuring how much you have, you have, measuring how much you have, you have, measuring how good your prayer is or how terrible it is or whatever it is, you have to keep doing that same exact exercise over and over again for the rest of your life as your understanding of the as your understanding of the actual foundation of the Torah increases, meaning the intellect never replaces the tradition. It complements it. And the more a person knows about the foundation of the Torah, more he knows about the tradition, more he knows about what the Talmud says, about what the say, about what is and what is, and what is in the heart and what is in the kitchen. The more he knows about the within and the outside, the more he's going to be able to utilize those spiritual tools to investigate where he really stands. At the same token, the more he's going to desire to learn more Torah. Why? Because he realizes that the more he learns, the more he's lacking. It's not like food where the more you eat, the more satiated you become. Quite the opposite. The more you grow in Torah, the more you realize how little you know because you keep discovering that the Torah is bigger today than it was yesterday. You just discovered that the Talmud exists. You finished tractate and then you discover how big the Talmud is. YOU FINISHED ALL SHAS AND YOU REALIZE THAT it's not the only Shas. There's the Talmud Bavli, there's the Talmud Yerushalmi. There's the Shas Mishnayot. And even if you finish all of them, you realize that you haven't even scratched the surface. Because even if you read them 100 times, you still haven't learned everything that's in them. In fact, you still haven't even scratched the surface. And in fact, the more you learn, the more you discover other things. You discover the wisdom of the Rishonim, the wisdom of the Achronim. You discover the She'iltos v'Tshuvos. You discover the Midrashim. You discover the all different parts of the Torah and you realize it's much bigger than you thought. When you first got in, you thought, "Oh, it's Chumash, Rashi, Moshe Rabbenu, at some point King David." Cool stories. And then you realize, "No, no, it's bigger than that." And then you get a little further and you realize, "No, no, it's even bigger than that." And then you get further and you realize, "No, no, it's even bigger than bigger than bigger than that." And if you're actually measuring yourself during that time, you realize that even though I grew in knowledge of the Torah, I actually have more work to do when it comes to fixing myself than I thought. Even though I'm better than I what I was when I first started, I'm not beating up people in the streets. I'm not stealing. But now that I've learned more, I realize that there's actually more of an obligation on me than what I thought originally. I thought, "Oh, I have to do is just keep Shabbat, eat kosher, don't kill anybody." But now I realize there's a whole lot more than that. It's not just don't kill them physically. Don't kill them with words. Don't insult them. Don't break their hearts. It's not just don't steal their money. It's also don't steal a lot of other things that a person can steal, including stealing somebody's mind, which is a form of deception, making them believe one thing when it's really something else. The more a person delves into the Torah, the more they realize that each one of these categories has subcategories and it's a never-ending ocean. And he's obligated to do all of it. But without having his heart cleave to the tradition and constantly measuring it as he or she progresses, they're not going to end up right. They're not going to end up right. Why? Because if a person thinks, "I do good things now. I'm better than I was before. And therefore, I could just, you know, I'm okay." The moment a person thinks that they're okay and they're they're they're fine where they stand, it's usually the beginning of a downfall. It's usually the beginning of a downfall. Why? Because once a person thinks they're okay, usually they don't try to become better. And when a neshama doesn't progress, it digresses. It goes backwards. All of a sudden, you got shamayim is not as important to her. All of a sudden, modesty is not as strict as what she was in the beginning. All of a sudden, it's okay to dress modest, but words, not so much. A person has to constantly measure themself and understand you don't get to become the full potential of yourself by simply passing a couple of tests. There was a guy that was a teacher. And I heard this story story from Rabbi Biderman. He was a teacher and this is something like maybe 50, 60 years ago. And uh right before his class started, he ran to the phone in the uh office and he called his wife. And he asked his wife, "Did you uh throw out the jacket yet? The the old jacket?" She says, "Yeah, I threw it out." "Okay. Is it still in the garbage or the garbage people already came?" She says, "No, they already came. They took it." "Okay. All right. Have a good day." Hangs up the phone and he goes back to the class. Goes back to the class. The principal was a little bit confused. He couldn't wait till after the class or after school to find out if his wife threw away his old jacket? Like it had to be done now? So he pulled him to the side after class was over. He said, "Let me ask you something. What was that all about?" He said, "No, I had to find out if my wife uh threw out the uh jacket or not." She says, "Why? She just throws things out?" He goes, "No, no, yesterday she told me she's going to throw it out. So I knew she's going to throw it out." "All right. So why did it come up now?" He says, "Because yesterday when she told me, I had I agreed and there was no problem. I mean, the jacket's ripped and you know, I don't need it anymore. But right before I got to the class today, I realized that I hid $50,000 that we have as our life savings that we're saving for our kids' wedding. And since I didn't have any other place to hide it in the house, I figured the best place to HIDE IT WAS INSIDE that jacket. So that's why I asked her if she threw it out. And when she said yes, I asked her, "Is it still in the garbage or the garbage people already came?" And she said yes. So when she said yes, I said, "Okay, thank you." And that's it. I went back to the class. So now the principal is even more confused. He said, "Wait a minute. You're telling me that you just found out you lost your entire life savings of $50,000, which is not only a lot of money today, it was a lot of money even more money back then. You just lost everything? And you just said, "Okay, have a good day." And you went back and taught the kids in this class?" He said, "Yeah." "How?" And the Jew looks at him and says, "Well, isn't that what we're all supposed to be doing? Isn't that what all of this is for, for these times?" Meaning, your Judaism, YOUR AVODAS HASHEM, YOUR LOVE OF HASHEM, YOUR YIRAS SHAMAYIM, YOUR EMUNAH IN HASHEM IS NOT MEASURED WHEN you win the lotto. It's not measured WHEN YOU JUST GET MARRIED TO THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. IT'S NOT MEASURED WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS and they're healthy and they're WONDERFUL AND THEY'RE HAPPY and and and they already come with millions of dollars with them. NO. ALL OF THAT IS MEASURED during those times. During those times where something COMPLETELY AWFUL HAPPENS. You just lost everything. That's when it's measured. Do you still have a moon and a sham when you don't understand why he took the $50,000? Do you still have beat THE HORN AND A SHAM when you don't understand why he made you forget that the $50,000 is in the jacket? DO YOU STILL HAVE FEAR OF A sham when you realize that you now have no way of paying for your kids wedding? Do you still have love of a sham when you realize that in the best case scenario you might be able to do a wedding in your house for your kids because there's no way for you to be able to afford anything else. Do you still love a sham? You see what I'm telling you again. Many times people forget that all of these showing that we learn together they're not just for mental stimulation. They're not just for inspiration for today. They're not just to inform you about different insights that the sages have taught us or different stories from the different parts of the Torah. But rather these are all spiritual tools that each and every single person has to do everything possible to try to not only take those tools but to put them in a very safe place where when they need them they're readily available. When will they need them? Not during the celebrations. Not during the extraordinary success. But rather during the times where it seems like everything failed. It seems like everything is not working out. It seems like life has become like the rules of the Torah that we have to rely on tradition because there's no way for us to understand them. THERE'S NO WAY FOR US TO UNDERSTAND THAT WHY THIS BLOOD is pure and that blood is not. THERE'S NO WAY FOR us to understand why the red heifer purifies the impure but the pure becomes impureified. There's no way for us to UNDERSTAND WHY THE GUY THAT HAS A SMALL MARK OF tsaraat he's tameh but the GUY THAT HIS ENTIRE BODY BECOMES IT HE'S PURE. So we say tradition. We rely on tradition as the only way for us to understand that part of the Torah. What our sages are teaching us here about today? Is that yes you have to learn that tradition. But part of your learning has to be applying that same tradition that same thinking to your intellect. As it develops make sure it develops with the same rules, the same guards, guardrails, the same principles, the same makeup as our tradition. Make sure that when all fails you don't fail. There are people that they only believe what they see. And the Barbanel explained the plagues in Egypt in a very rational way based on the different parts of the weather, the different order of the plagues. And the Malbim didn't like this. And said, "Why? Why are you making the miracles that a sham made seem smaller by explaining them in a scientific way, in a rational way?" The reason why is because although we believe that the Torah is the Torah. It's divine. It's not something that any human on planet Earth has the ability to completely understand. A Kadosh Baruch Hu, if we understood him, we would be him. But yet a Kadosh Baruch Hu gave us different tools. The more we develop those spiritual tools, the more we will become in line with what these rules are, with what these statements are. The more they'll make sense, the more these puzzle pieces will fit different parts of our neshama. But there are certain people that they're not there yet. So Hahamim like the Barbanel who believed the same exact thing as the Malbim, the same exact thing as the Rambam, the same exact thing as all of the great sages. What they did is says, "In order to get these philosopher-minded types of people on board first have to explain to them things in how they're capable of understanding them. That the weather and that the series of things and the timing of things to because they're not good they don't have the spiritual tools to understand the tradition. They don't have the spiritual tools to have blind faith. They don't have the spiritual tools to simply believe that just because God said so, therefore it is it. So in order to get them in, I'll explain to them based on the limited amount of spiritual tools they have. And if they come with me and they choose to develop it further eventually they'll understand further. They'll understand that the least of it is the scientific aspects. The least of it are the parts we understand rationally. But they're never going to get to that level unless they get in. So a person has to know that sometimes you simply don't have the spiritual tools to understand that what you're doing is wrong. You don't have the spiritual tools to understand that where you stand is not exactly the ideal place. And this is why we always have to look at the great sages, at the great sadikim in awe and admiration to realize that if they are still rebuking themselves are still looking at themselves as if they've have not done teshuvah, there must be something to it. They're not doing it to impress anybody. They're not doing because they think somebody's going to tell their story 50 years later. If they're still at a point where they see that there's a lot more work to be done, then surely we at least have to understand that we have a lot of work to be done even if we don't know what that work is. And we have to accept the fact that sometimes we just don't have the spiritual tools to understand what we're doing wrong. And the only way we're going to get there is by building further on top of the tradition more and more of it, understanding it, applying it and little by little we'll be able to collect some more tools that will allow us to understand the tradition not only by simply being spoon-fed what the tradition is but also by being able to use our reasoning abilities to decipher one thing from the other. But we have to know that this will come in time. We can't force it because if you force it you're sure to be wrong and those mistakes are dear. So be that as it may this too will be another stepping stone that each and every one one of us will use to get closer to a Kadosh Baruch Hu to work on ourselves further to look at the people around us that need to do teshuvah not as lesser than us but rather as opportunities for us to help them as well as help ourselves. To try to be better today than we were yesterday. Even if the world gives us a million and a half reasons to be annoyed. Even if the world gives us a million and a half reasons to not like. Even if the world gives us a million and a half reasons to quit. Because as long as we're continuing to go forward in the way of Hashem in the path of the law great things are possible. Even turning a Nazi into a lover of Jews is possible. And if that's possible if you could change their heart then certainly we could change our own heart. Thank you very much for learning with me. Hashem bless each and every single one of you to be able to apply all of this to your lives. Anyone that wants to support could donate on our website bhtorah.org or besader shem.org and certainly you could donate on the campaign page bhpesach.org. And for those of you that want to sell your chametz through our bet din in Yerushalayim make sure that you are following us on the and joining our WhatsApp groups because the links will be posted over there in the coming days and it's literally not just a a great a great way to sell your chametz. You're selling it through a bet din but it's a very very efficient way of doing things. It's saves a lot of time. I'm very very excited about this new development. Baruch Hashem. So thank you very much for learning with me and besader shem we'll learn again later this week. All the best and be healthy. Shalom u'vracha rabotai. We're finally here. The new key remote box. Opens up. A nice little cushion here. I got Let's see if it's charged. Now available at besader shem.com.org. >> [music] >> Besader shem.org get yourself 20 of them, 30 of them, 50 of them. Distribute them to all the people that you care about. And you'll get people to do teshuvah.