HAVDALAH 101

[Music] can you please go through the proper way to do aala meaning uh we do the prayer then how much of the uh wine are we supposed to consume what do we do if we have left after that amount do we need to do a prayer if we decide that we wish to drink it uh after uh we put out the candle and if I may please explain the best way to take out the candle uh to do okay okay soal is a follow you have a where so youa where all have AAL in them and uh the it depends a um it depends if you are uh uh you have the custom of doing some of the extra blessings or not uh there are certain extra blessings that can make abdalah take you know four five six times more time but they're spiritually more extraordinary and there's a people that just fulfill the basic requirements which is just say some of the basic blessings you go to that you don't do any of the additions and again that's uh everybody has their own uh um customs of what they add or not but the basic requirements of theala is first to do the uh the you do the blessing of but at that time you do not drink you don't drink the wine but you look at the wine to see your reflection especially a reflection of your forehead the said that someone does not find uh the reflection of their forehead uh on the wine uh meaning after seriously looking sometimes it takes a few tries or you have to look at a few different shades but someone does not see a reflection of their forehead on the thing should be concerned for their life should be concerned for their life so when you do the blessing of the Gin you simply look at the wine and see your reflection you do not drink after that you do the blessing on the uh on the Bim um the Bim is a uh you take something you smell it uh something that smells good incense of some kind uh you could use pretty much anything that smells good uh you smell it and uh you have to make sure that you know what it is whether it's if it's a some type of tree of some kind uh you know a branch of a tree then it's a if it's some type of flower then it's if it's a some type of incense or something like that then it's so make sure you do the right blessing and then you do the uh now the is you light before you start of Dal which means that you have to start of dalala after the uh the Shabbat has ended already you don't start ofala before Shabbat ended uh so you light the fire before you start aala and when you do the blessing of you uh take your uh uh fingers your finger your finger you take your hand like this you cover your thumb and you move put your hand next to uh the the fire not too close you don't have to burn yourself or anything but close enough that you can see reflection of the fire against your fingernails uh making them more shiny and so on and then you turn it like this meaning the opposite of what my hand is where you constantly seeing the the back of the hand but now this time without the covered thumb some people have different Customs the point is to see the fingernails which is to remind yourself that you're going from the holy to the mundane just like a uh uh ad made a mistake of uh of uh uh you know making a mistake in ganeden you should know that he as a result uh went down uh in his his uh in his significance you are going from the holy to mine but don't go down meaning stay holy the whole week stay holy with your Kusa stay holy with your Torah and so on and so forth so that's in essence the reminder from that uh uh Fire part then you do the last blessing which is that's that blessing then you drink pretty much the whole cup whatever you have should be 3 ounces should be 3 ounces you drink the whole cup uh you know as quickly as you can uh that's really what you're supposed to be doing you're not supposed to be like sipping it and then you know giving it to people or anything or sipping it and like drinking it the whole night supposed to in essence drink the whole thing uh drink the whole thing that's why a person that can't drink the whole thing shouldn't you know get one of these cups that's too big uh that's like 6 oz or 7 o and it's tough for them uh if a person has a difficulty drinking wine they could drink grape juice instead just as long as they drink the quantity it should be 3 ounces is what they should drink and it they should consume it as fast as possible uh literally should be within a few seconds that's not like uh uh don't take like 10 minutes or 20 minutes walking around with it or anything like that like you should drink it as soon as possible uh and it should be 3 ounces um now if a person canot not drink wine they could drink grape juice uh kosher grape juice is very common you should drink it ideally you should drink wine and not just wine but wine that's l so it's ideally it's best to drink L wine that's uncooked wine that's ideal for aala okay uh but if you uh can't handle wine it hurts you or something like that which is Comming uh then you either have to find a wine it doesn't hurt you or simply drink grape juice but even if grape juice if grape juice affects you then give somebody else the uh the uh the uh uh the wine to drink give somebody else the wine to drink uh or perhaps even give them uh the the the uh the thing to do theala Al together but if you want to do the adala and somebody else drink the wine you technically can do that if that's the case they could drink it uh that's that now after you have drunk the wine then you do the last blessing uh which is the shal that is the blessing for drinking wine uh and that's it after you've completed that uh uh that uh uh blessing you're officially done with abdalah now some people will say yeah no abdala is really finished after you've drink the wine yes technically you're right abdala is finished after you drink the wine uh but you still have to do an ending blessing for drinking the wine so you have to do that now what about the uh the the candle uh the way we do it at my house is is as follows I learned from he is an extraordinary one of the head he's the son of which was one of the also and a huge uh and Rafi says that people that pour their wine on the f of the candle to shut off the fire are desecrating the wine they're desecrating the wine it's inappropriate uh to pour it from the glass from the cup on the uh on the uh candle to pour it out it's not appropriate it's desecrating the wine so how do you shut off the wine uh there's a couple of ways uh one way that you can do is that uh typically when uh there's a custom that people have to fill up their cup of wine all the way Way to the Top now of course unless you have an extremely Steady Hand like a sniper from the uh from the Navy Seals uh typically you're going to hold the cup and there's going to be some wine that pours now let that wine pour onto that plate that's under you now that wine poured onto the Cup by itself you're not pouring it yourself it poured by itself because you know it's moving that wine that's on the plate you're allowed to use that wine to shut off the candle that wine you can use because that's not wine that that was part of the blessing that's not wine that is in essence That was supposed to be drunk that's wine that poured out that's fine that's fine cuz no one's going to drink that wine that's not really wine that people drink so that wine you can use to shut off the candle you could use that wine for the skula of touching the wine and then putting it on your head for memory and all types of other Gul that have to do with that particular wine that poured by itself not that you're pouring it and now half the glass is on the cup and you think that you're a genius no the wine fell by itself because you filled it up to the cup like it says in t that the uh the wine uh the co is a uh the cup is filled up all the way to up to the top and you can do that but you shouldn't fill it up to the cup if you're not going to drink it if you know you're not going to drink the whole thing you're only going to drink uh the minimum requirement and half the cup is going to be wasted that's not good either you have to drink it now the uh or if you know that that wine is going to uh you know fall on your clothes that's also not a good thing the story with uh Rashi came to a community and they had him do AA and they uh they started pouring the wine and he told them why are you ruining my clothes and they said what are you talking about he says you're pouring enough wine that Wine's going to spill on my clothes you're ruining my clothes so sometimes you know people want to do these Gul but they cause more damage than good so you poured the wine if you are going to fill up to the cup you know assuming you're going to drink that and a little bit of that wine Falls onto that plate that goes under the cup that's perfectly fine you can use that wine to shut off the candle I don't do that uh what I do is very simple I clap on top of the fire as many times as it takes one two times five times 10 times it's a fun thing to do with the kids everybody claps and then I tell everybody that they shut off the fire even though obviously they're little and they didn't do it but they did it one week it's ysep another week it's aadya another week it's Sarah another week it's IMA even if she wasn't there it's somebody uh always doing it everybody gets the credit everybody has fun it's a nice way to finish Shabbat and that's it we clap and we uh uh give ourselves another excuse to be happy uh and uh that's it that's that's how we do it we clap in order to shut off the fire that's uh that's uh how we do it some people like I said do with the wine but you have be careful not to pour the wine from the cup on the firei says it's terrible uh you don't want to listen toi you want to listen to something else find another source anyone that does something else anyone that's pouring the wine on their from the cup on their fire please find a legitimate Source in the tah that Sage that says it's okay not your local Rabbi find it in a SE says it's okay then you have something to rely on forget about proving me right proving me wrong it's not my law if you have a source that says it's okay not your local Rabbi it's in a serious by that's no less Thani that says it's okay for you to pour it directly from the cup you could do that too but if you don't have it you have nothing to rely on other than people's uh uh habits I wouldn't recommend it uh so with that being said I think that should give people a nice abdalah of course after that abdalah is finished people should uh you know try to uh already get ready for the fourth meal that's after Shabbat uh if you have kids perhaps you have to put them to sleep first uh but either way say the sud eat and uh that's it that's it that's that's of [Music] la [Music] [Applause] [Music] n [Applause] la [Music] n [Music] n [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] for for [Music] the [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] 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