HaShem Took Back His Millions (The Life Story of Rabbi Yaron Reuven)

[Music] so [Music] [Applause] [Music] foreign [Music] [Music] [Applause] it's a beautiful morning in new york city [Music] [Music] [Applause] we have an amazing amazing group thank you for coming my story doesn't start with religion my story doesn't start with the truth i wasn't as fortunate as your rabbi over here my story starts with alma deshica the world of lies now the world of lies is very interesting because the whole time you're in it you think it's the truth i was surrounded by people that were not willing to tell the truth like you're of but they liked money i had a lot of it which i'll tell you how i got it and for many many years they came they collected and they said nothing and it cost me a lot [Music] so i came to the united states when i was 10 years old which is about 26 years ago i knew three letters of the alphabet because it was in a cereal box [Music] but when you're 10 years old you come to a new country you learn a language pretty quickly i liked studying i liked books and my parents unfortunately did not know that if you send your kid to public school he automatically becomes a [ __ ] not because he wants to but just because that's his surroundings when you see a bunch of kids you know when you're a kid you're intimidated by them you look up to them you think they're all cool you want to be like them so when you see a bunch of italian kids and you know spanish kids and black kids and all types of other irish kids with the crosses and the earrings and uh you know everything else [Music] so wow i want to be like them because you want to be you want to be liked so even though i grew up in a house that kept some basic mitzvoth kept them a solid as soon as we landed in america we became green curious trouble ahead for the satellite radio business here with his instant analysis is ron rubin he's an independent trader president of reuben enterprises and ron uh we were hoping you come in because you had some interesting analysis on this whole howard stern versus oprah situation but let's just start first with sirius you own shares of sirius not xm uh the stock's down five percent this morning what do you think it's a buying opportunity the bottom line is is that these two companies have a huge opportunity there are only two companies in an entire sector expanding your own office which is operating a different business i could get how you saved money doing that but how did you get ashton kutcher for all within that two million dollars well we the two the two million dollars didn't work oh yeah no no i didn't come close um no i started working as soon as we came to this country my father taught us that the value of money and he told us that hard work is you know is something that you need to know because it's something that you're going to have to do eventually regardless and if you want something you have to go get it so we i've worked everything and you know when i was a teenager i had newspaper routes and worked in flea markets and electronic stores and shoe stores so working was something that i always already liked enjoyed and good at i've had a passion for it i already knew what i wanted i wanted money with only purpose for school unless you have a specific profession you're going after if you're going to be an architect you're going to be a doctor you're going to be a lawyer and be an accountant where you actually need a degree otherwise it's a waste of time the only purpose for school in general is to teach you how to think since i already knew what i wanted to do i didn't want to be a lawyer i didn't want to be a doctor and i didn't want to be in school for 100 years i was already used to money 17 years old making a lot of money i go to school everyone is just smoking a pot all day and going to clubs and it was fun but it was a waste of time i ran into an old high school buddy and he told me listen you should go into the car business i said okay fine let me go into the car business so i go meet somebody in a car business and i have a meeting with the owner at the way before i spend any time here you mind telling me how much does your top guy make and a guy was taken back he's like 56 years old this is this little kid desk how much does top guy make he says maybe like 150 000 oh i said okay thank you i'm not interested big head naive call it what you want ambitious so then this friend told me i think you're crazy but if you want you can get into the business i'm in but you're definitely not going to make the money that you're making now say what do you do he says i'm a stock broker he says the guys that work in my office my bosses make a lot of money they make real money but it takes a while i go into this office like if anybody has ever watched the movie boiler room a bunch of crooks steal money from people that was the office that i went into and i saw i didn't know obviously about all the stealing and the stuff that they were doing and i see everybody's young in their mid-20s early 30s there's ferraris and porsches and all types of brand new cars in our parking lot everyone has a brand new suit that cost at least a thousand dollars says okay no problem can i start tomorrow i said yeah sure okay so i started working we have to start work early you have to start work at eight o'clock in the morning on the dot and leave at eight o'clock at night with i think about a half hour break a day long schedule top schedule but you can manage so one day at 7 58 in the morning i'm reading the wall street journal because i'm starting to learn about this business the uh my boss gets into the office very angry and he looks at me in the office what are you doing get on the phone i have a little bit of self-respect i don't like when people yell at me so him with his uh italian hot head just relax you relax get out of here you're fired go home said are you sure i'm very calm collected and i'm not understanding why he's so angry at 7 50 in the morning so yeah get out i said okay fine i leave a few days later i find another job another brokerage firm in the city the guy there is very ambitious very hungry much smaller office only a few people within a few months i start training other people and on the side i'm spending as much time as i possibly can learning about this i worked for him for the next year and a half two years after two years i realized that he's the only one that's actually making money i'm only making at best maybe twelve hundred dollars a month and he's buying porsches and houses and jewelry for my family and everything in between it's just unbelievable and i still could barely survive so after a couple of years of doing this i decide that it's time for me to leave we get into a disagreement i walk away and i go back into the electronics business for a few more months and then the firm next door which was actually a big firm calls me and says you want to come back to the business one of the guys there offers me a deal and i start working somewhere around july of 2001. i started working and within a few days i realized that my so-called partner is a very lazy person i'm showing up to the office at seven o'clock in the morning he shows up some around 10 30 11 he leaves at 3 30 or 4 i leave at 8 or 9 a little bit of a different schedule after the month of working our deal was that he was supposed to pay me 2 200 a month just as a draw until i actually start making money from commissions from all these clients that i'm bringing in after a month passes i tell him okay i need my money and he tells me no no i hold the first check in case you screw me what a nice guy as you learn from the rest of the story money makes people do strange things if you ever want to get to know someone put a lot of money in front of them and they'll mutate into what they really are when someone doesn't have money they're usually nice unless they're very bitter but when someone has a lot of money suddenly gets rich quick usually they become a little bit of a different person the person they were when they didn't have money in the beginning it was very very hard because i didn't have any money coming in and any money that would come in went directly to this wonderful boss of mine after six months i got my first break started making some money made five thousand dollars for the month next month made about seven thousand dollars for the month the clients i was getting started sending me some referrals i was getting more and more clients building the business life was never the same next month i made about 60 000 next month i made about 180 000 and from then that point on a bad month would be about 75 to 100 000 by august of 2003 i became the number three producing broker in the entire country for that firm which had about 5 000 brokers with an average career of about 20 years i was only in it for a couple of years i made my first million dollars and then i decide it's time for me to go and start my own firm i have money i know what i'm doing why not hired a bunch of people i started my own company so started hiring people started building a business and then it got to a point where a bad month was about 200 250 000. i was making a few million dollars every year gave some money to people that needed it donated some money bought a sephora throughout all of this time keeping barely any mitzvoth i think any mitzvah i kept was by luck i believed in god but in my own version of it which is like most people in today's world we believe that there's a creator because we need them when we're sick when we're poor when we're hungry but the stuff that he said i don't know that much about i don't have that much time for it i'm very busy god i need to work i need to make money people think that god has done everything can do everything created the heaven and the earth and everything in between but when it comes to panasan ah he's limited i need to help him that's why they work on shabbat that's why they work overtime that's why they spend their life chasing money and not even giving hashem the opportunity to show you what he can do hashem tells you one major thing i will help you as much as you believe in me if you believe in me a hundred percent then i will give you a hundred percent of your promise either way everything he gives you when i say he's going to give you a hundred percent of your panasonic so to give you a hundred percent of your panasonic without working money will show up how i live like that and i have no idea of him that are in college lived just like that for many years like my raven yo shallam has been living like that for his whole life he still can't explain how he pays the bills and when he goes to the supermarket for shabbat he doesn't even look at the price and he buys everything in sight who's going to pay for it that's the shim's problem i do what he wants he says if you make my will into your will and calcium you make his will into your will he'll make your will into his will he says it he says okay this is what i'm going to do that's where i learned it from it works hashem sent me to wall street to become a big success i thought he sent me to become the next warren buffett or the next bill gates or the next something big if i'm already making a few million dollars in my early 20s watch out bill gates by the time i'm 40 you're going to work for me little by little the firm grew i started training people my main focus aside from investing my own money investing clients money and doing research my main skill set was a salesman i was the ultimate salesman i could sell anything to anyone at any time for the highest price possible and they'll enjoy it more than they'll enjoy it if they bought it for sale i taught people how to sell i created my own system one day a bunch of my guys went to a ski trip and i was the only guy in the office i was i told him i'll show up at the ski trip but i actually have to work on like you people i show up to this ski trip said us there was no business today right i showed no actually uh no today i made 26 thousand dollars this guy called me money was plenty and now i started getting fame i went on cnbc bloomberg cnn started writing articles hashem everything was going fine but hashem didn't send me to the world to do that he didn't send you to the world to make money everything is mine is what hashem says everything is mine if you want something i'll give it to you but if you don't use it right i'll take it away i'm only lending it to you as i continued i started making myself feel better by every time every week somebody religious would come to my office at least two or three times a week i had an open door policy anyone that needs something could come to my office whether it was someone that needed money for rent or someone that needed money for daca they'd come to the office i would say on the average it was two to three times per week somebody religious would come to my office sometimes they'll tell us about sometimes they'll convince someone to do filing sometimes they'll just come to collect money but nonetheless they came now if we do the math i had the office for about 15 years but if we just use 10 years and instead of using two or three times a week we say once a week once a week 52 times a year is 52 times times 10 years 520 times which means that someone had 520 opportunities to tell me i'm a [ __ ] to tell me that my lifestyle is wrong to tell me that if i don't keep shabbat nothing else that i do matters according to the sukhana rook in seven places according to the torah the one we got from mount sinai parashat is one of them and 11 other places according to the gemara which is the foundation of the oral torah according to practically every single major rabbi that's ever written in history about shabbat even including the ones in this generation and according to even a simple book that i recently read by a rabbi a very sadiq rabbi from jerusalem named rav zavikhi about this thick about the blessing of a shariat show it's a simple blessing the one that you say after you leave the bathroom at some point the issue of shabbat comes up and he says of course if someone that says kadesh and he doesn't keep shabbat no one says the question is why he says because he's a [ __ ] it's not considered jewish according to and he gives you 50 sources so when someone like me or someone like rav mizrahi has been doing it for 22 years is telling you listen if you don't keep shabbat you have a serious problem with hashem they're not kidding but if someone is going to write it in in a book that's called a shiryatsa we know that this is common language for the religious people who wants to learn to tawa we need to keep shabbat i didn't keep shabbat on shabbat i would spend my time going to the casinos playing texas hold'em playing with the best players in the world the biggest game there was they would when i would show up they'd start a new game not really a good sign by the way but i was a good player because i had no fear because i had lots of money and i beat a lot of players i played in tournaments i won some i didn't realize that i was stealing this whole time most jews don't know that gambling is stealing that's the problem while my business was kosher very kosher did honest investments honest fees honest everything my hobby was a big problem why is gambling stealing betting against you know you're thinking okay listen i'm going to play texas holding with my buddy he's my friend the problem is that even if your friend has millions millions and millions in the bank but he loses even a hundred dollars to you he doesn't really want to give it to you i'll lend you the money if you need to borrow the money he'll even give you a gift if he has millions and he's generous but i'll never want to lose it to you which means that when you win that hundred dollars you're stealing it from him and there's one problem with stealing versus every other avirah every other sin even if someone found a way to be a righteous person if they have stealing in their hands when they show up to the door of ganedan they will not let you in no thief has ever entered ganeder no thief will ever enter ghanaian the person has to go back in the gilgal and come back to the to this life to this world and pay back the neshama that he stole from second reason why gambling is not allowed it's because gambling is done in a place that's usually full of immodesty shalom if you actually end up at a casino what's there it's not only not modest but it's a full hilu hashem especially when the guy shows up with a keeper like i used to go all the all the fake hasidis guys with the nice hat and the pears and the black and white sitting in the same table next to me same same game by the way those people if you ever see them they're not real if they're in a casino they're just wearing a costume don't get taken back by anything they just like to wear a costume you wear a costume on purim they wear a costume all year round a righteous person belongs in two places or three either he's studying torah he's at work to provide for his family who is at home taking care of his family casino is not one of those places so place people like that have a special place in genoa why because they're doing something much worse than stealing they're making the worst possible sin in judaism called hashem someone like me before i became religious would justify myself because of them i'm here i'm not religious i'm being me what are you doing here you're supposed to be this holy person khazal says that if gambling was allowed the world would go and become sodom and gomorrah so aside from the modesty which obviously goes against protecting your eyes which creates a lot of sins and aside from the hashem and aside from the stealing you're putting yourself in a very very big dilemma with hashem so you have to stay away from those places now what do you do if you've already gambled or you already stole you want to go to ghana then you wanna you already knew this so what they do they implemented something from the torah that all jews are obligated to do you have to give stuka it's not a hobby there's two forms of this guy that every person has to give at least the puta something minimal obviously if you have more you should give more and then there's marcel marcel is 10 of your net income after paying the main bills that you have so for example if somebody makes a thousand dollars they have 900 bills you could just add a zero to those numbers if you live in new york you have a you know you have a hundred dollars left you give ten dollars marcel you can give it for this bit knesset you can give it for me give it for a righteous cause don't give it to just some any guy that's wearing a uh you know a uniform without knowing him make sure your master is an investment don't be a fool you don't want to ge you don't want to be like this guy that i know hashem it's actually a very very close relative of mine starting to do chuva but you know when you start to do chuba you still have your past life with you he actually had a card club very tough to leave that business especially when one day he sees a so-called religious guy show up black and white beard can sweep the floor like rav mizrahi says he has a penthouse in gehenna hopefully he does chewbacca i don't know how you can do up or something like that very very difficult to do truva without suffering serious suffering so now i have all this money i have all these wonderful friends that enjoy my money have a nice hobby i go to world series of poker i play some games in may of 2006 i have the best month of my career i make 1.6 million dollars in the month printing money making money was last year this year with printed money so i decided to go on vacation i go to vegas for a month play some games have a good time i still make about two three hundred thousand dollars for the month at the back at work when i barely work then when i come back home kind of bored so i figured you know what let me start taking care of my health there's this thing that's bothering me for the last 10 years the two-thirds out of all human beings actually have it's called hemorrhoids it bothers me once a year let's see what's what's the problem of removing it and never having it bothering me ever again so i go to the doctor the doctor says listen it's a very simple surgery you come you have a surgery takes maybe an hour two hours you feel a little bit of discomfort which in medical language means pain for a couple of days you go home you relax you go back to work on monday so i'll get a couple days vacation from work a little discomfort not so bad that's what i thought on november 18th of 2006 i wake up out of the surgery with a different body my body changed forever something happened during a surgery that changed my nervous system and everything from my neck all the way down to the bottom of my feet was in pain but not pain like you have a headache pain like if you take a knife and you just start cutting somebody open over and over and over and over and over again a little bit like that also electric shocks too we don't know why after several hours and the most amount of morphine legally allowed to give a human being eventually i calmed down they released me they sent me home i got home i thought oh so that's what gangnam looks like fine i'm going to sleep it's wonderful thank you very much everyone for coming i'm going to sleep i go to sleep and i wake up 45 minutes later only problem is that this time it's worse than the first time and this time it does not stop the screaming does not stop not after an hour not after a day not after a week not after two weeks not after five weeks only after 62 days for 62 days screaming did not stop for more than 15 minutes i couldn't sleep my body started dying i started bleeding from my eyes and every hole in my body i got infections everywhere and no one could explain it no one could explain a diagnosis no one knew why i was screaming and even later on when i tried to file an insurance claim because at a disability policy they rejected me after six months of research saying it's impossible if you want the money you have to sue us so after two months 62 days of wonderful experience of genome i eventually start getting back to my life i'm only taking 20 painkillers a day instead of 50 or 60 start managing able to walk to some extent i go back to work life is not the same but i figured that i got a second chance i still don't do chuva nine months pass because that's the amount of time that hashem gave me to do i don't answer he gives me a pain in my leg i think i pulled the muscle the next day i'm in emergency room the intensive care unit doing a surgery that if i didn't come at that time and i would have waited even another hour to two the infection that's inside my body would have blown up got into my blood system and would have died within hours so i spent the next two weeks in intensive care units next to the people that are nearly dying some are actually dying their screams sound familiar to mine after a few weeks i'm released from the hospital i still don't do juba three months later as you've noticed the time keeps getting shorter this is one of the signs for machem when he's running out of patience for you the signs and the siata de ishmael slowly disappears to doucheva is easy beginning his heart to commit to hashem his heart beginning to test in the beginning when you do chuva you have miracles on a daily basis how much miracles i'm not exaggerating i'm not a prophet i'm not anything you do trouba in your early twenties you have to ishmael that's unbelievable you wait into your 70s it's almost impossible for you so now three months later my body continues to fail a month later after that another infection another surgery another intensive care unit and this continues for the next seven years for seven years i had pain 24 hours a day got to a point where i got used to pain so now when you're in pain you can't really function and work you can't be this ultimate salesman you used to be the money you have means zero because all i have in those days is many bottles just like this like five six of them which is antibiotics and painkillers and all types of things because i'm not taking them anymore but just so you know i had many many of these i have so many of them that i collection i know the names i know the doctors i know the inventors you become an expert no doc this one doesn't work for me he goes how do you know i tried it 50 times but the other thing i have something also very interesting that a lot of people like is my nice gold business card how much is it worth nothing why because when you're in pain nothing's worth anything i spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on doctors medicine i become an experiment i would go to over 50 different doctors just to find a diagnosis not even a cure i gave up on a cure now all this time the same way the money came in it starts running out and those friends remember those friends i was telling you about they weren't my friends anymore they became enemies start stealing from me start cheating me start stealing my customers start stealing stuff from my office take advantage of every single thing they can similar to an animal i think it's called a vulture so this continues for many many years life becomes gnome i want to end my life but i only feel bad for two special women in my life one of them being my wife and the other one being my mother who wouldn't stop crying over me and i knew that i would ruin their life if i died but i got to a point where i couldn't walk i had to use a cane i became very anti-social i would see my parents maybe once every few months i wouldn't answer any phone calls business was going downhill problems were going uphill all of a sudden the government started taking interest in some articles that i wrote about them calling them out being cheaters and liars started auditing my firm and if even though they couldn't find anything because both hashem everything was closer i couldn't stop them from torturing me and they pretty much parked in my office after they finished one audit they bring another on at one point i think it was in 2009 or 2010 i had six simultaneous audits which only firms like goldman sachs and merrill lynch would have and even they wouldn't have six of them at the same time i was a tiny little firm i mean we're making money but relative to the real firms nothing when hashem wants you to get back to earth he has his ways and one of the things that i didn't realize is that the same one that brought me into this world is the same one that's doing it he didn't forget me he doesn't hate me he's trying to save me but ash says the pride of man will be his doubtful my god was my skill set my ability my money why should i worry about anything hashem gave me something to worry about now is very interesting you see when he wants your attention he'll get it no matter what you want but sometimes he's a little bit upset at you because he tried getting your attention a few times he sent you a message he sent you a text message he sent you a whatsapp he called you he knocked on your door he didn't get your attention he never called back so this time when he got your attention he goes all out so aka but if you don't do good 49 different curses we get hashem one of them who says i'm going to hide my face when hashem wants to hide his face it doesn't look good so when i was screaming my lungs out and the pain medicine didn't work that was a small version of it but then i went to the hospital because pretty much i was dying and we went to the emergency room and you figured that the emergency room has good doctors in manhattan each one makes a zillion dollars you figure that all of them know what they're doing so i go to the doctors and i'm screaming and yelling in an emergency room and uh the doctor comes in looks at me and decides how much it didn't make any sense they barely even talked to me they just decided what they're going to do now usually they ask you 500 questions usually they ask the family 550 questions usually they look at you with you know very very calm and you know just very careful they don't want to hurt you even more you're already in pain no here it was like it was cattle so the doctor decided okay she sent somebody okay you'll give him a catheter anyone who knows anyone who knows what that means it's not much fun now after they do that the doctor says calls another five big doctors big nurses each one of them okay hold them down five of them hold me down and she decides that she's going to investigate the entire surgery open the whole surgery without giving me any type of anesthesia without giving me any type of instead nothing and goes to the extent of putting the entire arm inside my body like i'm a puppet yeah yeah there he is now you guys probably heard the scream you just didn't know it was me the type of screams that i screamed that day the type of pain that i felt that day i remember like it was yesterday it'll wake up the dead that was another aspect of a cadospoke hiding his face when he makes the smart doctors really stupid when he makes a human being act like an animal this continued for some time i went to other doctors each treatment would be worse than the other after a couple of months of this adventure eventually it's the pain started calming down i would only have to take 20 to 25 painkillers per day just to survive but still nonetheless it was better than the gainer for those two months so body calmed down i started going back to wall street it would take me about 45 minutes or so to get to work even though it was only about maybe a half a block away so for example to walk from here to the end of the room for a normal person would take i don't know maybe uh half a minute 30 seconds for me it would take somewhere in the neighborhood of a half hour to 40 minutes i had a cane i looked like i was 900 years old even i was still in my 20s 26 years old some people thought that the cane was a fashion statement you started seeing other wall street guys with canes at that time so anyway so this happened i had a very difficult time walking running breathing or even tolerating anything but nonetheless i had hope i figured that things are getting better i'll continue getting better well they got better for a little while but i could use thought that i was going to get the message that it's time for me to say it's time for me to change my life i didn't get the message oh hashem i figured okay the worst of it is behind we saw genome we saw kaffa kela next time we're going to see ghanaian well you have to go to keep shabbat for granted you have to keep kosher again you have to learn to rough again i didn't do any of those things i just figured i have bad luck so six months later the other leg started hurting i said ah can't be what's the chances i mean how bad could bad luck be even a broken clock is right twice a day i mean come on i went to the doctor he said it doesn't look good sir you have to have a surgery i said when he said immediately okay so we go back to the intensive care unit they tell me my situation is worse than i thought the other guy was just being nice about it i have to have the surgery immediately i'm in the hospital for another few weeks but this time since i didn't get the first message or the second message they send me some mexican doctor where apparently in mexico there's a certain type of people over there that don't have feelings for other people so he learned his medicine from the other people that i met at nyu he also decided to check me without anesthesia without any painkillers without anything and he decided he's gonna really check he opened the wound he put his hands in he started taking oh wow it was a lot of fun it was a blast double tight i mean if you ever wanted to learn my shirt about gay no this is a little worse why aka who said if you don't do chuba you don't do what i i'm going to hide my face why all the smart people become stupid all of the things that make sense don't make sense the world goes upside down why i'm trying to get your attention you didn't listen the easy way you didn't listen to the shoe away you didn't listen to the cd you didn't listen to the whatsapp message even listen to all the other things so i gotta get your attention and uh unfortunately hard way life becomes hell [Music] literally and now i get to a point where i have to go to the hospital every month and that's not even enough so i start going to doctors on a regular basis every week i have at least two to three doctors appointments every week we're trying a new doctor we tried over 50 different specialists from everywhere of every type of trade regular holistic traditional medicine all types of things i even got to a point who was so desperate i joined the study i became a part of an experiment they started injecting my body four or five times a week with ozone just to see if something will happen to my body maybe i'll purify maybe i'll die figure 50 50 chance and i became a part of an experiment that he started you know writing down okay so you didn't really act so well today well tough luck kid so this was our only hope i started taking steroids like the athletes because i had a lot of money so every shot fifteen hundred dollars every day a few times a day maybe that will work all i got is side effects started going to different types of doctors they started saying maybe it's a nervous problem maybe you have nerve issues so they started giving me nervous medicine all types of drugs that affect your brain well after about a couple of hours of taking one of those drugs i started thinking and contemplating what would happen if i run into moving traffic and i started contemplating suicide and i didn't understand why do i want to commit suicide i'm not happy but i'm not depressed and then i asked my wife honey can you look at that medicine does it say anything about side effects she says why so i don't know for some reason i'm starting to contemplate vision vivid imagination my vivid imagination is starting to picture me running into moving traffic me jumping off of a building and i don't know i woke up this morning fine just after i met this doctor he gave me this new medicine i'm starting to commit want to commit suicide so she started going into a panic she looked at it she said yes that's the first side effect i said okay so finish with that one and we tried all types of medicine but the medicine didn't work this continued on for over seven years seven years every dollar that i had was going out the window the friends became enemies the doctors came pretty much a uh permanent part of my life and little by little i started realizing that i don't really want to live anymore now kados bohu even though sometimes his message is harsh sometimes his message is painful at the end of the day if he's still giving you a message that means he loves you because if he didn't there wouldn't be a message there would just be a conclusion so he gives you a test that you can handle even though you don't agree but at some point you break and at that breaking point or right before that breaking point that's why i could just go who gets involved [Music] i started praying didn't work somebody recommended this rav to go to all these religious people that would come to my office had no recommendations whatsoever they just hoped that i continued to give them money still didn't tell me there's anything wrong with my life so i went to shiotra every tuesday in the beginning maximum i would survive five minutes five minutes falsely couldn't take it it was very interesting but there was so many sins on my soul there's something called a clip a peel a shell that's around your soul every time you make a sin which makes it very very difficult for you to learn torah you have a lot of sins and a lot of impurity especially if it's wasting seed especially if it's killed shabbat made your sins develop a shell around your soul so you can't learn torah like you want to i was a talmud and everything else you give me a company i can tell you exactly how much it's worth you give me a business i'll tell you exactly how to fix it how to grow it how to market for it in that world i was better than anybody else i knew i'm sure somebody else better exist i just didn't know that to our world five minutes next week five and a half minutes next week capped out at six so i started forcing myself to stay up i said you know what i'm gonna write down every single thing he says if you keep moving you have to stay up so i started writing everything he says this was probably a pinto in the city it's very interesting but i still didn't do chuba here and there i started doing filing giving some staccato whatever i had money was running out the door faster than i can count but anybody that needed help and i had some money i'd give it to them never really meant much to me as far as money just like making it eventually the health again started deteriorating again to the point where i wanted to commit suicide i got to my limit obviously hashem knew and that's when the first miracle happened my mom saw me in a really really bad condition and your moms know exactly who you are without you saying a word she knew that i don't have much time left at least not psychologically so she decides to take one of these books that she has these phone books that she has she collected the rap by his names from all over the world with phone numbers and she starts calling every single rabbi in the book for almost two hours she's calling rabbis but nobody's answering the phone today then she reaches a number in israel a woman answers the phone she asks for a certain rabbi and the woman says i'm sorry the wrong phone number there's no such rabbi in hebrew my mom breaks down and starts crying to the strange lady over the phone and then ishta bakshimola hashem shows us himself and the woman says dolis which is my mother's name she says who is this how do you know my name she dialed the wrong phone number in a different country and she got to not only a person that knows who she is recognizes her voice which is not very easy by the way especially since she never talked to each other on the phone in their life but is also the only person that can help and she says who is this she goes this is prina your niece how did i get to you i don't even have your phone number we've never talked on the phone she says i don't know but if you got to me then obviously hashem has a reason why are you crying she tells the story my son is dying i need some help i need to speak to a rabbi she says why don't you uh talk to my brother rabbit fry it's a big tomato although very young he's extremely accomplished he's written six books by the time he was in his early twenties he's one of the tamidima vada he finished the shots four times before he was 20. this is somebody special this is one of these people that's not from this world it's not he's the wrong generation just will you talk to me she goes yeah of course your uh dodado is from america you're uh the antois from america of course she's gonna talk to you she calls rather frank if i'm just in color of course like a family for him that he is and she starts crying throughout the crime now i did not know that robert prime exists because when i left israel he was still a child he was born maybe a couple years before he's younger than i am i didn't know he existed i didn't know anything about him and he didn't really know much about me so he asked my mom does he speak hebrew and she says yeah he speaks a little bit he speaks hebrew so can i call him no he won't talk to you he barely talks to us bailey talks to his own family and at that very moment i call my mom for the first time in years the real reason of why i called my mom is because i figured that if i'm going to commit suicide i should be nice to my mom for a little while i got to my peak called my mom my mom is hysterical crying and she says talk to him i said to who she's hysterical talk to a friend who's a fiber club what do you want me to talk about why are you crying with it what does a flying do that you're crying because of him no if he could talk to him he can help you he can help you he said okay anyone you want can just call me just stop crying so brother friend calls me i start asking him questions questions i had my whole life for the first time in my life i get answers but not just answers get answers with sources and not only that when i would ask a question he'd make me feel good about it i thought i was smart this guy's was an alien so then i asked another question because oh wow that great question makes you feel so good like i'm like yeah of course i ask the same question what do you mean i'm from wall street of course that's the same question as the rambam little do i know that i'm closer to being a monkey than the rum bomb so oh yeah this rabbi asked the same question 412 years ago on this page this paragraph this panic and i ask everything so first conversation was very nice and now we're in 40 minutes the following week he calls me thursday four o'clock we have a conversation for three hours same thing questions answers sources following week thursday four o'clock five hour conversation following week thursday four o'clock seven hour conversation straight whole time tomorrow but questions about everything business money dinosaurs science anything you can think of i couldn't believe it i was getting answers it was like a high something like unbelievable the pain all of a sudden was not relevant i didn't care i was in pain not pain it's getting answers finally it's you're finally finding the reason for even being in this world finally getting answers getting answers for anyone that hasn't gotten answers in their life you have to try as hashem says to us if you look for me you'll find me but only if you look for me with all of your heart and all of your soul you can't look for hashem like a cat if you look behind the garbage bill he's not here we're gonna buy another one it's not fish you look in the aquarium i think maybe he died no hashem is the purpose of life hashem is everything you have no hashem you have nothing kill yourself to find hashem you have no hashem you have nothing i had millions i had nothing with the millions in the bank it's still having nothing still being depressed still being miserable every day reason why i worked so much is to escape the misery i actually lived [Music] so now finally i'm getting answers and for the next nine months this continues average conversation is about seven hours five to seven hours usually seven hours i get into it so much everything i learn i start to teach my wife she loves it also we're getting answers we're asking questions he later on tells me that he used to pray a special prayer before our conversations to have the answers what do you mean have the answers you knew the page number you know the rob you know the year he says but before you ask the question i didn't know the question existed i never asked the question i didn't ask the same questions you asked and never cared about that stuff until you asked it that's what's called siata bismaya you want seattle ishmael you want help from heaven you want a special deal with hashem dookie roof spend time spend five minutes a day who gets more than 310 worlds who gets to a higher level than malachi someone that spends time every day doing kiruf hashem said here if you bring forth an honorable person from a glut then you will be like my mouth what is it like to be like hashem's mouth hashem says to khazal i created the heaven and the earth and i can revive the dead you're the same as me your prayers whether you're asking for a new job a bazook an honorable wife an honorable husband good children full health refwash lima more ishmael with your torah more seattle ishmael with your chura that's just the beginning what do you need to do five minutes a day start with five minutes a day so we go to the book of jeremiah chapter 15 verse 19. therefore if you repent i will bring you back and let you stand before me first part means your chuva is always welcome even if you did idol worship which is by the way in case someone doesn't know it's the same thing as shabbat in hashem's eyes another source of proof notice every time shabbat is mentioned in torah idol worship right next to it ten commandments fourth commandment next to it i don't worship why to hashem the same thing you could have desires but doesn't mean you have to act upon them somebody has a desire to kill there are certain people that have a desire for blood but they have a choice they can either become a murderer or a butcher or a surgeon all three see blood and they're fine with it it's your choice i start doing chura i start listening i start keeping some export i stop praying i start crying i start realizing that i'm in a serious problem what's my problem aside from the money being lost and running out of my life aside from all of my friends becoming enemies from all of this disaster that i'm living i realized that my situation at home with the love of my life is not okay the only woman that would have ever stayed with me through this disaster that should have left years ago was with me was excited to be with me i'm in pain she's excited to be with take care of me make me food clean my wounds the blood get home that i was living with treat me like i was a king run my company build my company anything you want genius he wasn't jewish when someone is jewish he's not allowed to be with non-jew now i always knew that but i couldn't justify this being wrong when people would tell me listen don't you want her to convert and have a jewish kid said if she wants to be jewish he'll be jewish i can't tell her to do something i'm not doing not a hypocrite but then she says yeah but i can never convert there's no such thing said no no i heard people converge because no i don't think it's i don't think it exists that's how little we knew we didn't know that robia kiva the greatest baal juvenile history came from converts some of the greatest people in all of history were confident after i realized that we can't stay the same we can't stay together i couldn't bring myself to leave her it's the only person that would tolerate me so now i started learning about christianity because you can't stop making someone believe something so what you have to do if anyone's ever had a debate and you want to win you have to know more information about their subject than they do you have to know more about their side use proofs from their side from their life and you show them how they're wrong by using their own information this is how the best lawyers in the world win arguments this is how the best debaters win arguments is how politicians win arguments this is how you win you cannot win with your tools you have to win with their tools and then after you've gone ahead then you use your tools i start becoming obsessive not only with learning torah but also learning about this abu dhabi they call christianity and i see that there's a lot of mistakes there's a lot of contradictions but i still think that this point that yeah it's just judaism is better christianity is like second class there's like mistakes in it there's some guy that has some crazy story and for some reason everyone draws him with long hair and a beard he looks like a rock star i don't know whatever they want to believe this crazy story fine so i start becoming obsessive i listen to this rabbi uh tobias singer genius knows more about both the torah of course and the new testament than any catholic any christian any scholar he knows it by heart he knows every pursuit it's amazing i like them full of information i bring this to my wife excited i'm you know it's like five o'clock in the morning i'm as excited as it could get like a you know einstein and i bring her this thing and she shoots me down like a nothing he speaks too fast for me i'm not interested i can't understand what he says and i have to look up the verses he mentions 50 verses in two seconds i can't read i can't even hear or listen or write that fast not interesting so what do you do when you have no choice you cry to hashem hashem that you just met for the first time in your life you start crying you start reading talene you start praying with tears you want your prayers answered start crying man it's no shame in crying to hashem women crying it's good to cry to hashem the best thing in the world all of the gates of heaven have been closed the only one that remains open the gate for tears i cry to hashem i learn his torah work is becoming more and more meaningless to me money never really meant much in the first place but as i continue to lose money i start caring less and less but i need to find an answer i find other debates other rabbis other proofs i even have brother frying send me information he even spent time learning this stuff just for me he writes this whole journal this whole letter of proofs against christianity i prepare this project for my wife and i'm like yeah i'm so so excited usually it was like four o'clock in the morning she's trying to sleep and i'm wired and i give her this thing or sometimes it's the first thing i give her when she wakes up instead of saying good morning it's like here honey i stayed up all night and i prepared this thing for you she's leaving me alone what do you want for my life let me drink coffee wake up something i was i gave her this information it's nice it's not enough [Music] one day i go on the internet and there's a recommended video for me it's called the debate by rob miz i watched this on my own and for the first time i realized that i was wrong terribly about christianity it's not second best it's completely fake it's completely man-made has zero truth in it nothing i get excited i bring this to my wife and tell you gotta watch this debate it's really good it's this it's done which is fine fine it's three parts this debate it's like three and a half hours because all right i'll watch one part so we watch this part at the end of part one i'm as excited as can be i'm like watch realize what it's done well the christian is a [ __ ] and the rabbi is arrogant not interested but even though she's keeping me sweat with me she's keeping shabbat with me and she thinks there's problems where she knows there's problems with christianity she always knew even before me all life she created her own religion after about a week of convincing and convincing and convincing eventually i convinced her to watch part two but still not enough she thinks the rabbi is still arrogant and the christian's still a [ __ ] i'm running out of options i try to convince her to watch part three and until this day she hasn't watched it but something changed in between so i try to convince him convince him and convince her and our life is becoming hell my pain continues the money problems continue the government issues continue but one new additive that i never had a problem with which is slow bite we never had a fight for hashem until this happened now all of a sudden we're fighting every day not even about the religions just about the fact that i'm being a little bit fanatic to convince her that there's something wrong with it because now that i've found that it's fake i'm not thinking about saving me or this marriage i'm thinking about saving her for me it's like someone's in a fire and i don't know they're being burned someone's about to drink poison and you have to stop them so eventually enough tears enough prayer enough studying to rabble hashem and less and less work hashem has mercy and he sends me another video recommended this one's called torah in science also by the same amazing but until this point was known as this arrogant rabbi so then we watched part one of torah and science's three parts at the end of part one we're both amazed whatever belief in emunah i had went up five hundred percent whatever belief in emunah she had also went up five hundred percent we've never seen the world the way he proved it two o'clock in the morning we press on part two satan as i said he works really hard part two doesn't work you go to another source find the video part two part two doesn't work can't find part two of course if you go right now to part two you'll see part two works everywhere but that day it didn't work anywhere apparently a very big sadique was coming to amisa they couldn't let it happen so skipping from part one to part three was a really big stretch for me so it was really hard but i said i finally got this girl to watch part one she want part two it's not working [Music] i can do it let's watch part three we press part three and it works we watch part three it's amazing and goes from 500 percent now we're closer to a thousand because you're seeing hashem it's not about believing in hashem believe anybody any [ __ ] can believe that has to be a creator you don't have to be a genius to believe that has to be a creator even if you're loved science and you think everything came from some cell and it went into four cells and four cells became eight cells and somehow it became a fish and a fish grew legs and became a lizard and elizabeth somehow became so perfect he became a monkey and the monkey is here even if you believe in that where did the first cell come from has to be a creator someone had to put the first cell in the world you don't need to be a genius for that but knowing god is what hashem commands us you need to know that i exist part three helped us know now she's telling me at the end of this lecture we're both on a high it's four five o'clock in the morning now you know watching all popcorn we're having a good time we're discovering god it's like the greatest thing in the world he says listen a lot of my questions have been answered but i still need to know that it's allowed i still need a sign from hashem and generally you're not allowed to ask for hashem for science just for anybody knows hashem does not allow us to ask for science you're not supposed to even look for signs not allowed we're above the mazat the stars are the masala were above the masala our actions dictate hashem's actions whatever your masala is your actions can change it if hashem says listen right now his masala is to lose all of his money you do certain things you can change it as a jew you have a privilege to the rest of the world you are above the mazal know that forever so now neither one of us obviously knew this needs some type of sign but she gets to a point where if anyone that's never met a convert should know that one of the reasons why hashem mentions the convert more than anything else in the entire torah but doesn't just mention them he mentions the special privilege they have in the world he says jewish nation where he's our father but for the converts i'm their father and their mother because they have nothing when they convert their parents are not considered their parents anymore spiritually physically they still consider their parents biologically still consider their parents they're still supposed to honor their parents as long as their parents are not anti-semitic so i am their father and their mother and he puts an obligation on ami said to love the gear you have to love convicts not just respect them you're not even allowed to pressure them special treatment can't be a jewish salesman with a convert problem with converts problem that they go through is that in between leaving the lie and discovering the truth or accepting the truth even after they've discovered it they don't necessarily accept it right away there's nothing there's an empty spot in the middle where they have nothing in this world that's go because even if you believe a lie your whole life you don't know it's a lie so for you it's true even if someone thought money is the cure for all diseases and all problems and everything in the world despite the fact that it's a complete lies you've obviously seen from this story at this point so far once you realize it's not you have to replace it with something so a lot of converts get to a very very big mass bill very big dilemma very big depression and that's when my wife got to and that night she went to sleep and she prayed to hashem saying either give me a sign or take me from this world but hashem doesn't give you a test that you can't handle and the very next morning she wakes up bad mood but i am on a high it's like maybe seven o'clock in the morning eight o'clock in the morning she's in a bad mood i completely ignore the bad mood why i found part two that works by the way most of this time i'm not sleeping i'm completely losing my mind but i'm getting the answers finally in part two of torah and science rav mizrahi shows something amazing he shows something called torah codes which is hidden mathematical secrets in the torah of all information that exists past present and future we just need to know what we're looking for hashem is clearly telling us anything that's mentioned every letter every dot every nikkud every sentence everything is relevant for eternity everything that's written in the torah is relevant to you it's relevant to you it's relevant to you it's relevant to everyone hashem knew you're going to exist when he wrote the torah so in this torah he also gave us a prophecy he also gave us a promise that after we make many many sins he's going to send us to the four corners of the world and here he says of deuteronomy in chapter 4 verse 27 hashem will scatter you amongst the people and you will be left few in number among the nations where hashem will lead you there you will serve gods the handiwork of man of wood and stone which do not see and do not hear and do not eat and do not smell after he scatters us instead of doing chuva like a normal person we get worse what do we do we start doing idol worship but specific type of idol worship the god of wood and of stone wood the cross is wood every christian catholic that's their sign false god of wood after that the god of stone mecca islam why you go to mecca there there jerusalem is mecca what's in mecca it's a big giant square stone they all worship they'll pray to it in that direction hashem is very perfect using torah codes which in essence means they're using mathematical equations to have skips between letters to to find words hidden within the words words within the paragraph it has to be an equal mathematical skip between each of the letters because then you can clearly see it's by design now we have in this verse we have a torah code first word of this verse in hebrew is which means hashem will scatter the feet you find the letter hey you skip 50 letters you get to the word letter skip 50 letters you get to the word ishmael letter men what is the spell mecca as we said it's islam again in the same sentence that talks about the god of word and the god of stone we found who the stone is interesting right after that same word their feets also has a you do 50 letters you go to the word chama another 50 letters you get to the same word as in the mecca you find which is jc you find his full name inside the very same verse that says who the false god of wood and stone is it's the only place in the entire torah that you find it and it's in the very verse that describes them literally before i saw this video i saw other codes that were very very interesting and to me this was extremely impressive and the other codes he mentioned from the rambam and several others were very very good but to her she converted on the spot that was the sign that was everything that was palsy night that was the exodus that was everything she took everything on instantly oh hashem we continued studying shortly later she converted went to the vet deen we had a kupa the same day just to make sure it's kosher the same day she converted in the morning a few hours later a couple days later israel covered hair snowed everything prayers every day limu torah something now i know why the satan was working so hard and that's when the miracles began miracles continued to happen my health continued to improve as obviously you see me today you don't see me twinching you know clenching my fists or yelling or screaming 99 perfect from time to time there's some pain but it's go next to what we had in the past but i still as i was doing chuva i still had to pay the bill for the past when you earn money and you don't do the right thing by it and you make it your life hashem has to show you that money is nothing you can't be cheap with hashem because in reality he gives you a hundred percent and he says i gave you a hundred percent what did you want fifty thousand i gave you fifty thousand you wanted a hundred thousand it gave you a hundred thousand you wanted a million i gave you a million what did you want i gave it to you a no give me ten thousand back give it to my people give it to zabiki give it to me give it for torah don't give it to the casino no hashem you know i know you gave me the hundred thousand last month but this much is really tough it's really tough okay upset so you know what don't give me the 10 i'll just take the 90 back so you switch you're left with the 10 that's exactly what happened to me everything was lost but each time it was lost i continued to learn to love and just like i was obsessed about torah about finding the truth for myself and for my wife i fell in love with hashem when i left new york just a couple of years ago i still had a small part of my business at a small fund instead of a few hundred thousand dollars left of my own money i lost eighty percent of whatever i had had maybe a million million and a half the year before i lost eighty percent it was a bad year still had a couple hundred thousand dollars left now if you lose 20 million and it goes down to a million it hurts if it goes from a million to 200 000 it actually hurts more because 20 million to a million you're still living technically the same life you're still okay you're still not necessarily begging for change but you go from a million to two hundred thousand you have to change life you have to change your life a little bit now what happens if you lose the last couple of hundred thousand it depends do you have a muna do you believe in god net 100 god exists can anyone raise their hand and tell me i hundred percent believe in god he created the heaven and the earth overseas and responsible for everything and i have no doubt tough question sometimes especially when you're going through hell but this is what god wanted me to do he wanted me to get to a point where i have to believe in him i can't tell you i'm a sadiq or even or anything but one thing i work on a little bit is if you want to get a muna you have to work on it every day it's like a muscle but how do you work on the muscle by ripping it apart same thing with emunah same thing but i'll give you a secret of how to get to emunah and i'll tell you just the first step of how i got to sam emunah [Music] the biggest rabbi in history other than moshe rabbenu was rabia kiva he had 24 000 students that the lowest among them the lowest one not the highest one the lowest among them was able to revive the dead somebody died he just prays for them they come back to life that was the lowest the highest one was a person that when he would learn torah his name was when he would learn torah there would be a fire a spiritual fire that would be created that would reach the heavens and if a bird flew over it would be burnt like a cobalt like a sacrifice just learning from a book like us not like us meaning such level of dusha that they would like might as well be a different species when we found out about all these wonderful people we realized wow this is not only a good thing this is good news let's let's do something okay let's learn let's how do we convert you have to learn torah you have to take on mitzvot you have to take on everything we found out this is true my wife says i want everything i said yeah you know everything is a lot she's in everything yeah you know you have to be mothers no problem everything so you know you have to cover your hair with the meatballs and everything everything he said you know you have to eat this and they thought she was everything i said i'm not ready she goes i am it's either fake or it's real it's real i'm going all the way meaning she forced me to do even more tuba so now we have to call the bedding we meet a few times both hashem everything works out perfectly and the bet dean tells us that listen since you're together you cannot live together it is especially now and definitely not after you get uh after she converts so the minute she converts either you get married or you live in different places i said why waste time getting married the same day we're married at the same time i said no problem meaning she dips into the mikveh we finished she's a jew okay now now so far so good right here's the problem every single time there's something big supposed to happen that's holy the italia has to interfere why he has to ruin it he has to give you a test why to see if you really want it as a pursuit he sends tests to the people he loves why he wants to know if you love him back if hashem gave you only good good good all the time 11 is very simple but if you give you a test a flat tire you lost some money you got sick a little bit and so on and so forth but you still keep shabbat oh that means you really love him that means you're really connected to him so even though my business was collapsing i still had something left my health wasn't exactly so good but it was getting somewhat better we got a phone call okay tibet dean waiting same day on such and such date i said great two days before the bed d meeting i get another infection now these infections they're not like small infections that you can say you know what i'll just deal with it doesn't work that way it continues to grow until you either die or have a surgery or whatever happens first so i said well i'm not having a surgery because i have the surgery the latest conversion this wedding this thing i'm not doing it so we're just going to go to the conversion i'm going to suck it up for two days with the pain and acne and let this thing grow like cancer but i'm gonna as soon as we leave the vending we're going by the time that we got to the bethine the infection was the size of almost a melon meaning i couldn't walk i couldn't think i couldn't do anything but i was as happy as can be hashem said you passed the test how do i know you didn't talk to me but as soon as she dipped into the mcfadden my pain stopped instantly i didn't actually realize it stopped i just realized that something good happened just now but as soon as she came out she goes okay so we're going to the hospital no we have to get married she goes no no you're sick you have infection no i'm not in pain from that pain let's have the wedding and then later on we'll figure it out so he went to go change clothes i said okay i'm going to go to the bathroom to go change clothes because this has to be a necessary part of the story and after i undressed i discovered something a chef also performed the surgery while she was going to the migraine because my whole body was full of blood only difference is it didn't hurt this time now some people have a hard time believing it i care less i saw it i was a witness i was there the point is that sometimes hashem wants to give you a big test to such an extent that he forces you to either believe in a supernatural or abandon everything altogether we got married and we realized okay let's uh let's we have to change everything we did everything good let's continue let's continue learning let's continue doing so we have to undo a lot of things and we figured you know what we'll do cue we'll make a little bit of money from the business and we'll survive after a little while of learning my rabbi told me okay it's time to take the next step i said what step i finished no he says no no you just started i said what do you mean he says you have to share the knowledge i said give you a gift i said what gift he gave me a wife he gave me bo hashem health now i'm feeling better so what gift does he give you the ability to speak people like to hear you talk okay yeah i use it for business i make a bunch of money from it he goes no no it's not for business he didn't give you for business he just sent you to business to train he sent you the business to go training learn how to talk why to go tell people how to do chuba he says really you're serious i mean how much money i'm going to make because there's nothing i said what's a great job i used to make three thousand dollars an hour and a time i worked for free which is perfect it says you're not really a very good businessman on a fight because what do you mean we're saving for about says what about allah he said hashem runs the world so i started giving shut up but i told him initially i don't really know much he says whatever you know teaching you know what you know teach that so on and so forth and little by little i started sharing my story and little by little i realized that most people know less than i do but i got bored of my own knowledge so i started learning more and more it forced me to learn more and it started working people started doing chuba regular people regular average jews were listening to the shuetto on the internet i never i could never believe that somebody would listen to me like i was a guy a few weeks ago now you're listening to me i couldn't believe it then rabbi started calling me like wow you helped me do chewbacca what do you mean you're a rabbi he was yeah but i need to do chuba for something that you said and it was unbelievable to me that what i said affected different people from all levels rabbis tommy dean all types of people even going started converting because of it it was unbelievable now as you become more and more popular there's more demand for you the problem is that when you do business you can't stop doing business you have to continue making panasonic you can't just say listen i'm going to stop working for a few weeks then i'm going to come back so i had to work for a part of my day and i had to learn for the rest of it now to make sure that i stand the test and i do what i'm supposed to my rabbi said that not only are you supposed to do kiru but you're supposed to make sure that you eliminate any yet success for money because that's how i measure the score you know it's not that you like money it's not that i even need so much especially when you change your life i'm not buying any planes or anything you just want to have food and make sure your kids can eat but the reality is that when you're in a business world you're used to success you continue making more not because you need more but it's a way to keep score it's like oh i'm doing good because i made more money this month i'm doing not so good because i made less money this month that's that's usually how businessmen do they keep score based on their success so i know my own test and my rabbi also just knows my own test he says listen there's a big yet sarah in the world there's a big abu dhabi in the world he says what kind of proof is a big problem what kind of problem is it says hashem even if you're a prophecy of what's going to happen right before mashiach comes i said what is it he says that is going to go worship the god of money the god of gold i said you mean money he said exactly i said so anytime that money becomes involved people's perspective changes if i'm gonna pay for it then i'm gonna dictate what he's gonna say because now he's my employee if he's not getting money out of it then what is he what is he getting out of it so we decided to do what we've been doing for the last four and a half years which every lecture wherever we go we don't charge everyone at the shield comes out with a single conclusion there is no reason there is no benefit for me to tell you anything that i just said for the last however much time it's been other than you getting closer to hashem it's the only way to measure the score now since it's not money is success what's success jews doing chuba [Music] the next station is financial center [Music] after we left egypt hashem destroyed the largest civilization in existence and made their slaves into the masters so much so that the egyptians begged amissail to leave and not only they begged him to leave they gave him a bunch of gold silver diamonds a huge fortune still amiso did not have a munna how do i know because as soon as they got to yamsuf to the sea of reeds they got scared huge ocean where you gonna go all of a sudden they notice the egyptians they're coming to get them it's a problem why because they didn't send five egyptians like people think ghazal says that they sent nine million egyptians that's the smallest number some say much more big army lots of weapons very very scary after hashem split the ocean for them he didn't just split it right away when moshe tried to split the ocean initially the malach the angel of the ocean said nope let's put in the ocean for you why he goes to god not only him he brings the malach of mitsai which is the name of that malach is mitzvah each nation has an angel so the angel that's responsible for the egyptians they come to hashem they say why why can i split the ocean for these banay slain and kill the egyptians okay the egyptians worship idols we know naysayers also worship idols just last week they're worshipping an idol this is why when hashem did not split the ocean moshe started screaming to him he says matitake what are you screaming to me move on move forward where's me move forward it says do something you've used up all of your credits i can't split the ocean for you because the mecca the angel of egypt he has a case against you show me you believe don't tell me you believe don't kiss the mezuzah on the way out of the bakneset and go to a barbecue on shabbat don't kiss get excited and eat non-kosher on sunday don't give staccato the bigness it or to kirov or to anything with stolen money whether it's from your gambling or from your stealing in the business he doesn't want your stolen money you want to kosher money show me you believe need actions a part of ami said was willing to die jump into the ocean just die commit suicide pardon about me says let's just go back to being slaves and the part of our messiah says let's go fight but the one that was willing to die no i just willed to die i said listen if hashem brought us here he brought us here but there was one specific person he didn't want he didn't think that he was gonna die he actually believed in god his name was the son of amin from the tribe of judah and said hashem created the heaven and the earth this is nothing for him hashem brought down the largest nation in history this is nothing for him hashem brought us all the way here and made all those miracles for us this is nothing for him if he brought us here and he says move forward i'm gonna trust him he takes the steps into yamsuf all the way to the point of when it covers his nose meaning he was willing to die to prove he believes in hashem and at the moment it reaches his nose that's when the ocean split hashem says you have to show me you believe but why did i read you the verse of after this where it says hashem let all the jews all the amiss cross safely in miraculous ways drown the egyptians then it says this verse in exodus 14 verse 31 israel saw the great hand that hashem inflicted upon egypt and the people revered hashem and they had faith in hashem and in moses his servant your prayer every day you read this verse so hashem said that he has it already the people of today we need instructions how do i get to emunah how do i get to trust hashem 100 first it says [Music] israel the nation of israel saw the hand that hashem inflicted on egypt israel saw what is israel's song they paid attention pay attention to the world around you you can't miss god can't miss him you look at this table you know somebody made it right the bigness said some builder put it together the city somebody or somebody's put it together what about the sky obviously a creator had to put it together pay attention to the world around you look into the mirror look into your own eye notice that your eye is the best camera that was ever invented notice that the brain of the biggest fool in history is still more advanced than all of the technology that ever exists from the beginning of the world until the end of the world if you learn a little bit about scientific facts you can see hashem so first pay attention that's what he says step two as soon as we pay attention we realize there's a god and this god is holy this god is great this god is in charge of everything including the cells that are in your body including something called protein fold your body is full of trillions and trillions of proteins in order for you to exist each one of these proteins has to fold in a precise way if one protein one out of trillions and trillions and trillions of them folds the wrong way a person can't see can't hear me die one protein he's in charge of that too so if you're obviously if you believe in this great god and he's even in charge of these small proteins that you depend on only somebody crazy or ignorant is not going to be scared of god he's in charge of everything foundation of judaism without yerat you have nothing says a connection to hashem only based on is an incomplete connection it's a connection nonetheless but incomplete why because it's good to have ira and ava both fear and love but a connection with just love just ava says there's no connection at all it's worth zero when you have just a little bit of time to spend to pay attention to the creator you're gonna fear him when you fear him you could actually say you have a muna when you have a muna you're gonna start doing what the oral torah says which means that you have to study tala and where i got to be hashem after losing all of that money about two years ago i had only a couple hundred thousand dollars left and i already started doing lectures on the tuesday that was my shoe kavua my last my shoe of the week i did one shoe a week at the time i still had the business one of our investments went terribly wrong i wake up in the morning i get news not good news 9 30 in the morning the market opens by 9 35 i'm wiped out i have zero nothing what do you think i say at this point losing the first few million tough using the last million it's tough last couple hundred thousand either is toughest and you're gonna commit suicide or something else power of torah is stronger than everything else especially when it has to do with kiruf mr bakshi malad hashem gave me the scrut to say the same verse that job said after hashem took everything from him hashem [Music] god gave [Music] god took may his name be blessed i shut off the computer and i went to prepare for my show for the night and ever since then i've been living on a miracle every single month i haven't worked since that's it this is what emunah is [Music] i realized that there was a lot of people that were confused just like me and they simply created a new truth because i had two to three rabbis come to my office every week and every single one of them got money every week like clockwork sometimes more sometimes less but every single time they got money i had my office for 15 years 16 years so if you do the math let's just make it simple once a week for 10 years how many times is that 520 that means that they had 520 opportunities to tell me to stop driving on shabbat and become a jew that means they had 520 opportunities to tell me that i have to marry a jew and not a non-jew they had 520 opportunities to tell me that there are rules to the game there are rules to being a jew you can't just do whatever you want 520 opportunities but no they didn't take even a single opportunity they were too focused on the green too focused on the money this hurt me personally because since they didn't tell me hashem had to tell me and when hashem tells you something it hurts it's not a nice lecture it's not a smile it tells you with life things things that happen sickness money loss we call it the the things that are you know that we lose because of the avanade because of the sins that you made so it's better off that a person listens to somebody like me then hashem getting involved because it may it may be annoying it may be not something that you want to hear but it's relatively painless hashem i promise you it's not painless it's not painless and i have to learn it through hamas i had to fight for my life this happens every single day so i decided that it's much more important to go make more juice than to go make more money it's much more important to make more jews real jews than to go make more businessmen and we help businessmen and we help families and we help go in they want to become jews we have all types of people but the key is to focus on damage and what hashem provides i should provide it's definitely not the millions or even a fraction of it but i can tell you one thing for sure the best thing that ever happened to me was losing every single penny that i ever had and even better is the fact that i see miracles every single month because now we have more than we had when we were making five million dollars a year why right now nothing is missing nothing's missing i'm not i don't have i don't own a house i don't want anything you look at my bank you start laughing but i probably have more comfort than most people in the world why i don't have that i don't have to worry about money ever again why i know hashem runs the world i arrive at a conclusion that hashem runs the world i'm gonna go do what he wants me to do the rest of it is his problems my wife one tells me one time uh honey uh we have six thousand dollars in bills uh coming up in two days i said okay she was uh what do you want me to do i don't look at the bank which was well i looked at the bank i said okay you know what happened it's empty it's end there's nothing zero in the bank i said okay she was what do we do nothing we continue doing what we're supposed to do continue working continue learning continue supposed to do yeah but the bills are doing two days i said yes plenty of time for him it's his problem it's not my problem it's not my problem as soon as we finish this conversation we're both laughing world class smiley went back to learning what about the doing i get a phone call from my uh phone number i don't know and i usually don't pick up i decide to pick this one up i pick up hey hello how are you i'm really sorry i'm sorry what'd you do who's this what no it's do do it's doodoo it's like no dude remember david from this i'm like david how are you do okay whatever money is i haven't talked to this guy in six years how are you doing because listen i'm really sorry i'm sorry for what i'm like wow what did you do i haven't talked to you in five six seven years so five years ago he left me five thousand dollars and i told you i was going to pay you back as soon as i come back from israel and uh i never paid you back and i've been eating myself up for months thinking how do i get there and the embarrassment that i haven't paid him in so long so i can't take it anymore please text me your bank account i'm going to deposit the money right now this guy's excited to pay my money back that i forgot about who has ever called you out of nowhere and see he's excited to pay you back so i text him the phone number a few minutes uh maybe a half hour later my bank i check my back i see dude deposit six thousand i go back dude i'm like no thank you very much but i'm sorry you not allowed five thousand he goes no no no six thousand i said no it's not allowed it's interesting i go no it's not worth it it goes no no listen to me the five thousand is the loan the thousand because i've is watching you on the internet i've been watching on the internet and you're helping me do chuba meaning how much did i need six thousand how much arrived six thousand is that what do you think is better you working for it from eight o'clock in the morning till eight o'clock at night you get six thousand on me doing absolutely nothing [Music] my rabbi tells me listen i think you need to start learning i said i don't know anything he says learning i said okay got me it would take me six and a half hours six and a half hours for one duff for one page and by the time i finished the page i still don't under 90 of what i said 90 of what happened but six and a half hours that's how hard it was for me one day when things were really bad there was a hurricane here and we were in manhattan and manhattan went underwater so after four days of being in my apartment with no water no electricity they told us that we have to evacuate so we left manhattan we went to staten island where my parents are my business was going to garbage my friends no longer existed my health was in a toilet the only thing i had going for me was fine i started learning with them i started liking what i was learning but i was as upset as you can possibly be and i just broke down just started breaking down because my whole life was just collapsing my mom at that moment told me she had a dream in my dream i saw you you were just like you but you were a little boy version of you but you were surrounded by a bunch of beasts by a bunch of masikeem by a bunch of creatures that were trying to kill you and i kept telling you come with me let's go to the light come and i start crying to her i said em i can't i can't do it i can't do it i just can't do it and she would start screaming and she's crying in the dream and i'm crying in a dream and i'm surrounded by these things and they want to kill me and i can't leave and she's not letting go and she wants me to come eventually i hold their hands and bow hashem she says that the dream ended up good where we ended up going to this light now when i first heard the stream it didn't mean anything to me once i started learning once i started learning interesting things in the torah i realized that every single time that a person sins it's not just a sin that's for naught it's not the sin it just goes away it's not a cold it's not gas it's not breath a sin creates something that something is something that doesn't go away it's called the music it's called something that you definitely don't want in your life if you make certain sins they make one type of physique if you make many sins you might make many of them but there are specific sins like wasting seed for example that create millions of them now why do you have to care about this the reason why is because this is one of the reasons why people have a hard time doing chewbacca it's not that you're stupid it's not that you don't understand it's not that you're incapable it's not that you aren't brought up religious it has nothing to do with it it only has to do with the sins that you have once you start doing chuva for them that you do will start destroying those mazikim and all of a sudden you're going to start understanding what you read all of a sudden you're going to start remembering what you read all of a sudden you're going to want to do what you're doing all of a sudden you're going to fall in love with that all of a sudden you want to be a jew you want to put a keep on you want to put everything on you want to be more the high you would be with pears all the way to the ground why because you got rid of the enemies so for all of the people that are having a hard time with the books with the classes with the cds with everything my only suggestion is this continue don't make them you just gotta go through the hurdle you gotta go through the hurdle the tough part you gotta make tawa a permanent part of your day-to-day life 15 minutes a day is how i started eventually got more then it's 30 minutes then it's a half hour then it's an hour and so on and so forth one day a woman calls us and she tells us that she wants to abort her baby i said please come to my house we'll talk to you aborting a baby is not allowed in judaism [Music] okay i'm thinking that i'm going to convince her with torah laws and torah codes and torah this and torah that the woman's not buying it my wife god blessed that she understands people better than i do sometimes she says to the woman see this you're a jew we're jews you believe in hashem we believe in hashem unfortunately your struggle is that you think that hashem gave you the sweet spot to have a baby but he's going to starve the baby so let's do this we'll pay for the baby have the baby and if you're missing any money we'll pay for the baby i'm looking at my wife i said thinking that you we've declared bankruptcy last month we have zero money where are you gonna pay for this big i'm saying i'm not saying a word but i'm thinking to myself i'm looking at my wife and i raise weight there's something called bitahon there's something called confidence in the kalos baghu and this is how we've been living our life trying to help different people for different things without any rhyme or reason of why other than akadozmo who wanted that akadorsbal who is giving everyone an opportunity every kaila you're in nigeria you're in afghanistan you're in saudi arabia you're in india you're in china you're in anywhere you want to do chewbacca who's going to get you first you start with learning second you stop sinning the big sins third don't give up don't give up don't give up on yourself [Music] so [Music] [Music] uh so [Music] so [Music] open [Music] oh [Music] i wrote [Music] [Music] he's been there and done that nobody no matter what in business or anywhere can say that you don't know you don't understand and that makes him an incredibly compelling speaker all right and i and i was like i could say more and more but shooting smaller [Music] is [Music] [Music]