Amazing Questions About God From Hollywood (8)

[Music] very good to be here we have some new faces always good not that I get tired of the old faces but listen guys I need something new once in a while um so the series B is doing a lot of good a lot of people have uh new people have been watching the Sunday series the uh amazing questions about God uh sometimes they like your questions better than uh my answers sometimes they like the answers better than your questions but it's helping people um I have uh some stuff that I do want to M mention uh that I think is extremely relevant to everyone whether you're religious or not religious surprisingly this is a problem you know in the religious world as much as it is in the uh non-religious world but since we have some new faces uh you guys can start with some questions before uh anything else you have some questions about about the about anything else hopefully I have the answers anyone questions same price go ahead can you use like leftover hanuk candles for one lighting or does it have to be candles or special candles use any candle you want P them together yeah the the hanuk candles lose their significance once they're not used in uh in kanuka they're only significant if you actually use them for kanuka otherwise just a simple candle uh so whether uh in general you should know that um for women there is a three major theat talks about it says that it's so important for them to do it and be careful with them that their life is on the line if they if if they don't do it one of those three first one is it's making Kal and making sure that you take about a handful of a uh of the kala of the dough out and in today's age there's no one to give it to you so you burn it to throw it out uh and you know you put wrap it in tin foil and then throw it away or you could burn it uh that's the second thing is uh which is the uh candles for Shabbat and the third is n third is n so why are these three out of all I mean there's a lot of MIT in the 63 a good portion of them are for the bet mikdash that we don't have unfortunately a good portion of them are for men and a certain portion of them are for women so why are picked these three to specifically mention that if a woman doesn't do it right if Shalom her life is ever in danger this could be a case against her and thear specifically says when does a case go against her specifically when she's about to give birth why because anytime a woman is about to give birth her life is on the line even if she's healthy even if she's young even if she's always eating Vegetables and protein and and perfect and everything is wonderful her life is on the line and comes to and says look this woman did not light our candles properly this woman did not make a Kala properly this woman did not keep properly and if she doesn't have enough credits to to to battle it says in the that's the time that's the in essence the opportune time that unfortunately she could lose her life and people think that this is something of the old days something that happened 3,000 years ago but I could tell you that I know somebody that unfortunately died just a couple of months ago at child birth perfectly healthy young woman everything was wonderful everything was great she died at Birth giving birth so this still happens today this happens every day not often to the Jewish people but nonetheless it does happen so don't think this is something that oh no because of all the technology we have it doesn't happen any anymore it's nonsense everything that's written in the Torah it's not written in the Torah just because you know hasem wanted to give you a bunch of Stories the Z says that anyone that thinks that the Torah is a history book loses their right to live it's to that extent why because it's the last thing you should consider the Torah is a history book it's a book of laws of things that are going to be relevant to Forever permanently now in this is the is the oral tah we have a r tah and we have oral tah thear is the oral is the foundation of our oral Torah and there's different tractates it's called tractate in English and in Hebrew it's called M and there's different explanations of what the written Torah actually says so without the oral Torah the written Torah would be meaningless would be meaning we wouldn't know how to read it for one example is the way we understand the he English language for example every word has a foundational letter called a vowel a e i or u and sometimes why or in the English language where you know that in every single word in the English language they must have one of those letters must have there is no such word that doesn't have at least one vowel sometimes there's more than one vowel and but there's a general principle that usually isn't more than two vowels in a row consecutive vowels in a English language not need to teach you English just you should know this anyway in the Hebrew language our vowel system is not letters in the Hebrew language our vowel system is dots it's punctuation so sometimes you'll see in Hebrew you see these little dots inside the letter on top of the letter on the side of the letter that's the vowel system that dot changes the significance of the words usually in in a huge way what is it like if let's say for example you decide to write the word word Moses in English if you wrote the word Moses you have to use a few vowels you have to use o and you have to use e so you have m o s s now if you took away the vowels what do you have MSS it's a completely different word same exact thing in Hebrew if you take away the vowels or you change the vowels or is there's vowels that are used inappropriately instead of sha it's sa it's a completely different word okay so that's that's the oral that's part of a critical part of the oral tah so anyone that goes for example Christians love to go against the oral tah reform and Christian and um uh conservative Jews love to go against the oral tah they always say no rabbis wrote it this wrote it that wrote it but the reality is that without the oral tah we have no tah we wouldn't know how to read our Torah at all we wouldn't have a written Torah now why do people go against the oral Torah the reason is is because the oral Torah is the one that obligates you that's the one that tells you exactly what God said when he when he said keep Shabbat when in the r Tor he says 12 times you have to observe Shabbat but he doesn't say how he also says you have to lay but he doesn't tell us how he doesn't even tell us how they look like he also tells us you have to do Brit we don't know what Brit mil is he says cut the what's an Maybe an earlobe maybe it's a nose maybe it's nails if I was a guy and I was picking it I'd pick Nails it doesn't hurt last thing I would pick would be was the uh the where it actually really is last pick I would pick you're out of your mind but that's that's that's the Divine mentality that's very far away from us without the Torah so the oral Torah is the one that explain to us what Ana is how didine look like they must be square they must be black they must be from a kosher animal and so on and so forth all of the rules of the tah are in the oral tah and that's the one that obligates you because it's also the one that tells you the consequences of what happens if you don't follow what hasem says so now this oral Tora also tells us that has had over 1.2 million prophets throughout all of history 1.2 million prophets this is in tractate m so the the sages ask okay we only ask have 55 mentioned in a tanak in the written there's only 55 of them mentioned so there's a few missing what happened to them so the uh Hashem responds I only left you the information that's relevant to you meaning the 55 prophets that are mentioned in the Torah whatever they said is relevant to Eternity to Forever all the other prophets out of the 1.2 million their information was Rel but only to their generation therefore they were not included in the written tah they existed they were holy they were wonderful everything's great they're just not Eternal their information is just simply not Eternal which means to us that every single thing that's mentioned in the Tor it's relevant to you it's relevant to me even though this is 3,300 years after the fact so no one can say oh no no Moses didn't drive on Shabbat because he didn't have a car or they didn't eat uh you know they didn't eat non kosher because they didn't have this restaurant because they didn't know how good the food really is they don't have such a thing everything that hasem wrote is is relevant to you and we see it from the par when you actually know how to use the Torah you know how to how what the commentators are actually saying you know the behind the scenes you start realizing that it's not only relevant it's the best instruction set that you could ever get so when it comes down to the T the Torah also tells us that we have to have certain types of laws we have laws of Shabbat Shabbat is not only a law that you have to comply in essence you vouch for the fact that you agree and testify as your witness that Hashem created the world in six days and rested on the seventh meaning that anytime a Jew violate Shabbat the gar says that it's equivalent of them running in the middle of the street and saying God I don't agree you didn't create the world in six days you didn't create it I don't think you created it meaning you're going against hem the same token also said we have laws like and now when it comes to the um candles of Shabbat it's not necessarily the candles per se that Hashem gets upset about it's not the candles the candles if you forgot for example to light candles or you couldn't afford candles couldn't afford candles Shabbat still Shabbat Shabbat doesn't start because of the candles Shabbat is Shabbat with or without the candles obviously obligate to light the candles but if you forgot or you couldn't for whatever reason or another Shabbat is still so why does it say that if a woman doesn't light the candles properly then her life is at risk why because if you're late to light the candles let's say for example Shabbat starts at 5:00 five and it ends the next day at six o'clock 26 hours 25 hours it's a lot of time 25 hours especially when we first start to keep Shabbat seems like it's forever let's say you messed up a little bit you started instead of lighting the candles a little before 5 you lit it at 5:01 501 one minute you lit it one minute too late one minute not talking about five hours late you didn't light it in the middle of Shabbat the next morning one minute one minute difference is this bad this is an atomic bomb not bad it's an atomic bomb why you just violated Shabbat doesn't matter that it's one minute into it it doesn't matter that it's uh half it's one minute now of course you're going to say what about the 18 minutes leeway right the 18 minutes leeway now the 18 minutes leeway you should know there's no such real there's no real thing as far as the 18 minutes leeway leeway what is the 18 minutes leeway really the 18 minutes leeway is that the time that they publicize online on applications onab app on the internet on newspapers Jewish newspapers um is the time you should light the candles that's actually 18 minutes approximately 18 minutes before Shabbat really starts so it's not an 18 minute leeway that you're allowed to light the candles 18 minutes into Shabbat they're just giving you a leeway just in case you forgot your head at work and you forgot that Shabbat starts in 18 minutes just in case you're 5 minutes late you don't make an atomic bomb go off in your house that's exactly the reason there's no 18 minutes late where if you violate Shabbat 18 minutes into Shabbat it's okay no no there's no such thing there's no such thing the lighting time that they publicize is not Shabbat how do we know this for sure how do you know this as a practical reason when you go go you see the time that you light the candles let's say it's 5:00 and then you're going to go toet you go toet and what do they pray M they're not praying Shabbat they're praying M of a regular day why because not Shabbat yet if it was Shabbat we wouldn't be able to pray m a regular day we'd have to pray Shabbat it's a completely different prayer we don't pray regular day why because Shabbat doesn't come in usually Shabbat comes in by the time you get the song you're supposed to time it well that's the time that you actually Shabbat comes in whenever the whole crowd turns around and you're saying and you bringing the Kal in that's in essence the time that you're supposed to time it well that's where Shabbat comes in in general but either way when you light the candles when the time reported and and actually Shabbat starts at two different times so already knew that we need to warn the people well before and the reason why is because hasem told them that you have to have a fence around the fence if there is a major major risk to breach the fence to violate Shabbat just so you know someone that is a Jew to violate Shabbat on a regular basis not accident regular basis decides is he wants to drive on Shabbat decides he wants to watch TV on Shabbat decides that he wants to smoke cigarettes on Shabbat decides that he wants to treat Shabbat like any another day and he dies without doing chuba without without repenting for it without starting to keep Shabbat what kind of problem does he have he has the worst possible problem of all problems in history why he is in the eyes of Hashem again me I like him anyway but it's not my opinion that matters my opinion is irrelevant the opinion of God according to our which is the oral Torah part that explain explains the laws according to our gar which I'll mention throughout all of the sh according to our five books of Moses in 12 different places according to the zor and according to pretty much every single book that was ever written about Shabbat in previous generations before we've weakened to where we are today he has a decree worse than a murderer he's considered in the eyes of Hashem worse than a mass killer worse than Hitler now this is not a politically correct statement I'm sure people are going to want to hang me for it but it's not my law you want to blame somebody blame God you have a problem with him not me this is the law of God why because for anyone that was courageous enough to watch the sh we did last week about Gom we're not going to repeat the details but nonetheless there was seven parts to G and there's one part each part gets worse than the other the punishment each one gets worse than the other there's one part that doesn't end and one of the there's a few only a few types of Sinners that go to that place and one of them is M Shabbat one of them is a m Shabbat a murderer on the other hand he doesn't even go to the sixth one he goes to the fourth one it's bad it's terrible but it's not why because a murderer didn't deny the existence of God he denied the right for someone else to live maybe he got mad maybe he lost his mind whatever the reason is but he didn't deny God when someone violates Shabbat on a regular basis and decides to live their life as if Shabbat is like any other day they're denying God on a weekly basis logically you think about oh of course this is worse than a murderer why a murderer is okay he's crazy psycho and so on but he's not denying God again we have to look at it from the eyes of God not from the eyes of us what's right what's wrong The Eyes Of God if you were if you were a king would you be more upset if two of your people got into a fist fight and one of them gave the other guy a black eye or if if one of the other guys said you know what king you're not the king get out of the chair get out of the Chair King that's what he's saying when you deny God you're saying get out of the chair it's my chair somebody has to be God somebody has to be God it's either you or so this is as politically incorrect as it is it's the sad truth that we all have to face the good news is that once you face it it's not so sad anymore Shabbat becomes a happy day Shabbat becomes a once a week vacation paid paid vacation how do we know it's paid page 17A and also the in 17b says that any money you spend on shab special food special catering kosher of course special guests whatever money you spend special House special andal special keep special clothes any Penny you spend on Shabbat hem pays you back in full when right away that year you're going to get all that money back that year so anyone that really believes this and doesn't think it's just a fairy tale you're going to hear in a in a lecture once in your life is going to do it why next time the wife says honey I'm really tired I can't cook today you say no problem I can't wait to go to the call catering company spend 500 bucks because I know I'm going to get it at some point next week next month but I'm going to get it back why Hashem writes cash Hashem pays cash this is the same thing with all holidays this is the same thing with allaka any stua that you give for the right reasons not stua to uh some uh you know place that wants to save C from going extinct or save the dolphin foundation not that or or maybe Holy Cross for them to put more a in the world more idol worship in the world not that talking about t you want to publicize T hasem says whatever you give I'll give you back whatever you give I'll give you back why in essence all you're doing is you're becoming the middleman that delivers aem's money to where its destination that's why people that really have serious amuna they don't think twice before they they give like a don't think oh you know there's no there's no calculation why I have it I don't need it right now okay you need it go I remember I told you guys a story there was one guy there was a family that needed some money one of the things that we do as an as an organization we try to give poor Scholars money not just anybody that's poor there's plenty of poor people and there's plenty of people that give money to poor people we try to give to poor Torah Scholars and part of the reason why hasem made the Torah Scholars poor in many cases is to give the rest of us a chance to go to ganeden give the rest of us a chance to go to Gaden why because most of us don't learn Tora all day like them how we going to get the Gad In oh at least I I invested in it so now one time there was a family in need and I said listen there's one guy really desperate need they're shutting off the electric the kids have no clothes so on so forth difficult difficult time we need to come up with as much money as possible we need to come up with at least a couple of thousand which in Israel is a significant amount of money at least for on a monthly basis and uh I happened to be on the phone with one guy and he's like okay I'll give it to you I'm like what do you mean you're GNA give it to you don't make that much money he goes no well listen I have $3,000 in the bank I don't need it I don't need the $3,000 you need two give it to him he needs it more than I do yeah but what about your bills your rent your this your that he goes I'm sure just like he gave this what he says I'm sure just like you gave me the 3,000 when I didn't need it I'll give me the other 2,000 when I need it that'sa that's having faith that hasem runs the world that's having faith that hem runs the world not everybody's at that level but nonetheless it pays off to be that way and by the way he did get it back fivefold now when it comes down to the mitvah of Shabbat if a woman lights candles one minute one minute into Shabbat she's now officially violating Shabbat this is not during that 18 minute time frame I'm talking about I'm talking about into Shabbat one minute into Shabbat she's officially violating Shabbat now what does it mean to violate Shabbat once someone is a Jew and violates Shabbat not on accident on purpose they're now considered an idol worshipper in the eyes of hasem so now they've put their Judaism on suspension to such an extent that in order for them to get back to being classif ifed as a Jew they have to do CH and keep Shabbat again so that's why the lighting candles is one of those things that the says this is a life risk if you mess it up why because it's not the candle it's the violating Shabbat same thing with the kala it's also relevant to shabbat last but not least the nid why is it that if a woman doesn't keep family Purity that her life goes is at risk why because there's there's a certain level of sins there's different class of Sins Not all sins are judged the same for the noahides for the non-jews they have seven laws they have to they have to keep seven laws don't murder don't commit adultery and so on and so forth they have to give them you know build themselves a government or a legal system of some kind don't eat an animal while it's still alive so now fortunate for them they only have seven laws at least they think it's fortunate the unfortunate part is that they're all judged the same meaning if a Noah height steals in the times of the suned from a couple thousand years ago there's no chuva there's no oh I'm sorry there's no I'm sorry it's death penalty now if a Jew steals in the times of the sanedrin and he gets caught then he has to pay double he stole 100 he has to give back 200 so as you can see same crime different punishment why why is there why is there why is there such a discrimination discrimination is not really discrimination discrimination is that the noide only had seven laws the Jew had 613 if we judged all 613 as death penalty wouldn't survive a week but but there are certain laws that are worse than other there are certain crimes that are worse than others so stealing like I said you have to pay double stealing you have to pay double but on the other hand like I said violating Shabbat is the worst sin there's also another sin that in the in the and also in talks about there's certain types of person that goes into that seventh level into that place that have mercy on us if he doesn't do Chua or she doesn't do chuva doesn't leave and that is someone that goes with a married woman or someone that goes with a Nida someone that goes with nid goes to the sixth level someone that goes with a married woman goes to the seventh level sixth level is horrible almost as bad as the seventh but it ends at some point either way when a woman doesn't keep she's really getting she's playing with not fire she's playing with an atomic bomb she's just pressing the she's pressing the button and just hoping it doesn't go off that's what's happening same thing with the guy so Hashem said listen you don't have that many MIT as a woman you don't have to learn to every day like a man you don't have to put feeling like a man you have very few mitv you have to be modest you have to keep family Purity you have to light the candles make kala when when possible if you make kala make it in a Kosher Way where you have to take a certain portion out it's very few mitv you have to teach the kids some Torah so they know that they're actually Jewish and they know what to do and you have to make sure that your husband studies Torah very very few mitv modesty is like 60% of the mitv of a woman the other 40% of are relatively simple they're not the the most difficult in the world it's difficult to be a woman but the mitvah she has to do are not as uh as difficult as the Man simply because there's just less of them so at least when you do these mitv make sure you do them right why because similar to a noahide if a noahide messes up on one he's judged much more harshly on them because there's very few of them same thing with a woman kosher holy Jewish woman is uh is significantly more important than any no hide in the world even if it's job the prophet but the reality is she you have to keep them like they're all Priceless diamonds so thear says that if a woman messes up on one of these mitv there is a very very heavy punishment unless she does Chua everything that I'm saying to you is always subject to Chua you could do Chua for everything but that's the point of the is you have to do CH so when it comes to the candles to answer your question simply the candle is significant once you use it when you don't use it it's just anything else but the most important thing is to know that to use it at the right time second thing is there is a special meaning and a special Zula that if you like candles you should try to do your best to light with oil instead of the uh wax the special significance to oil candles than a wax if you don't have the ability that's fine but if you have the ability you should do it there's a special meaning a special significance to it as far as that's concerned and uh last but not least when you are actually lighting the candles you should make two things you habit before you light the candles give someaka even if it's 25 cents or a dollar whatever it is have some staka box next to it and the second thing is is that you should pray for your family pray for your family pray for your loved one while you're praying while you're lighting the candles this is your time this is your this is your gate right now just imagine it's you and God ask away my daughter ask away what do you want this is your time once Shabbat starts you're not allowed to pray for your family meaning you're not allowed to pray for health on Shabbat you're not allowed to pray for health Shabbat you're supposed to pray praise hem so right before it starts you can pray for whatever if it's kids if it's husband if it's whatever it is that's the time uh last but not least men if that are not married men that are not married men that are that are single have to light candles so it's not just a mitzvah for the women if you're a single man you have to light candles even if you're a married man you should be next to the candles unless you're at the sh but nonetheless you have to light candles next question try to answer a shorter response meaning oh no no if you live with your parents if you live with your parents then your parents are are uh lighting the cand comment this is mes but I thought that Moses was military Egyptians okay so the mid you should know that when it comes to specific ages and timing there are debates there are debates on specific ages and timing on certain things for example there's one debate of when Rifka married at three years old or six years old some even say n years old either way it's a young age we should know that it's not three years old like we have three years old that they people grew differently back then what's our proof when elzar came to um to the well and she uh came to him and he said okay I'll you know she watered the camels how many camels 10 camels you know how much water you need for each camel a three-year-old of today can't carry one bucket for one camel let alone for 10 camels and all the people that rode the camels so obviously we see that physically she was bigger than a three-year-old of today now same concept goes with all of the mid when it comes to ages and numbers but with when it comes to mosu one of the and a few other places I'm familiar with is that he lived in Egypt for 20 years that's what I'm familiar with he lived in Egypt for 20 years until the age of 20 the first few months he lived with his mom then she put him in the uh in the basket he was found by Batya Batya is the daughter of par that wasn't her birth name that name was given to her by God baa means daughter of God and uh after she found them she wanted somebody to give him to feed him Miram came as it says in the par he says oh I'll find you someone and he stayed with his mom for three years stayed with his mom for three years and then he went back to paro's house and he stayed there until he was 20 years old that's when he saw the two uh the Jew and the uh and the uh and the Egyptian fighting the Jew and the Egyptian fighting and then uh he killed the Egyptian and then he saw the Jew and the Jew fighting he saw two Jews fighting he told them to stop and they didn't stop now this is a good way for me to go into some of the things I want to talk about and I'm sure you guys are going to have other questions but this is really really important that needs to be talked about because I doubt that you heard this anywhere not only in the par but in general now there is a mid which is part of the oral Tora about some behind the scene things that happened in last week's does anybody know who the two Jews are that fought why did they fight why did they fight anybody know why they fought why they fight okay so you know it I'm just GNA I'm remind you of it what happened is the night before the day before remember there was a Egyptian that killed a Jew that fought with a Jew that beat up a Jew why did the Egyptian decide to beat up a Jew why was this single D I mean we were slaves in Egypt we were slaves in Egypt all of us were being beat up why is this one specific one being mentioned I mean all of us heard the midashim of how they used to take 150 babies every single day and kill them and and and would bathe in their blood we heard this because he hadat he had a spiritual and physical disease where his Necromancer said us the only cure is Jewish blood that's why they said he has to bathe yet took 150 babies what else did they do to kids if the Jews didn't work fast enough and strong enough and so on did they meet their quota they take the kid and put instead of a instead of a uh a block of cement they put the kid there instead horrible horrible things by the way my [Music] ra wrote a book he hasn't published it yet proving that every single thing that they did in the Holocaust already happened in Egypt everything it was literally like Hitler took a blueprint from same thing so now why is this mentioned then why is this guy mentioned that he got beat up by the Egyptian okay everybody got beat up by the Egyptians what's the story if you remember in the book of Deuteronomy later on we're going to see it see it there was there's going to be a m I'm sorry Leviticus there's be a m of something scary something scary where there's a person by the name of Ben shulamit the son of shulamit the son of it says not so in the Book of Leviticus we see that there's a person that cursed the name of God curse the name of God and what happens to him the the people catch him and they say Okay MOS what do we do with him MOS asks hem and says okay give him a death penalty they kill him who is this guy in last week's mid is a hidden secret of who this Ben Ben schlomit is there was one time a woman named schlomit otherwise righteous woman otherwise very nice lady but but she like to socialize with guys it's like to say hello not like uh have uh meetings with them go to the bar with them but you like to hi hi you know those people hi they say hi to everyone that moves hi hi they ult are nice Ultra nice people what's wrong with being Ultra nice problem with being Ultra nice is that guys don't think it as Ultra nice guys don't think like that I keep telling you guys week after week for years and I try to educate the women about how guys think guys don't think nice guys think she said hi to me she wants me that's how guys think doesn't matter that she's 20 years younger than you doesn't matter that she's married doesn't matter that she's this that doesn't make a difference a woman says hi to me oh she wants me for sure that's every guy is convinced every woman wants him that's the mentality of a guy unless he has to in himself unless he has toah he has a warp mentality of reality that's the reality a guy looks at a woman he looks at her like Farmers look at cattle that's a reality anyone that denies it is denying reality they look at her as something that they're going to be with they look at her intimately they look at inappropriately and so on a woman looks at a guy and she thinks wow he looks nice she thinks about his personality she thinks wow he looks like a wonderful guy he looks generous he looks funny he looks smart most normal women that's the way they look at men they think about their character traits they think about their personality guys on the other hand the last thing on their mind is their character traits last thing so now there sh was very very nice and she said hi to everyone and one day the Egyptian that was working there that was beating up all the Jews notice she said hi to him too says oh she wants me but she's married okay so you know what I can fix that so he came in the middle of the night and he told the husband go work why but we don't startop work for another two hours go work now he sent them to work and then he went back into the bed with and she didn't know there's no lights back then she didn't know anything it's not like she committed the sin on purpose or anything like that she wasn't a she wasn't Wicked she thought her husband is going inside it's back in and she ended up being with him she ended up being with him and then as he left he saw that the husband came back and he realized the husband knew what just happened now the husband knew that his wife didn't do it on purpose but nonetheless he knew what happened so the next day he said that's it I'm leaving you I'm leaving you now her brother came and said no you're not leaving us she didn't do it on purpose she didn't do it on purpose says yeah I don't care she did it on purpose she didn't do it purpose I'm leaving and what they do they started fighting who's that the the T were brother-in-laws they were fighting the two Jews were fighting not because they just had nothing to do in their life they're both slaves anyway what are they fighting about they're fighting because he wanted to leave his wife because his wife was just raped by this Egyptian that mosu killed so here we see something that ended ended up being started with a very simple nice hello ended up turning into something awful he wanted to leave her what ended up happening is that a child was born out of this marriage and this child unfortunately since it came from the the non-w it came from rape it came from a bad place the child wasn't exactly accepted by his friends he wasn't accepted into any one of the tribes so he said what is why is it my fault that this happened to me so he since he got mad at God and he cursed God this is like people that decide to abandon Judaism because of bad Jews I tell you for myself before I did Chua my biggest excuse of not being religious was because of bad Jews i' see bad Jews people that pretend to be religious but they're worse than anyone else people that pretend to be righteous but they're worse than anyone else people that look a certain way but they're worse than anyone else people that like you're like I look at myself I'm like listen I'm a decent human being I'm not D you know I may not uh keep all the laws I may not learn to but I'm not stealing I'm not killing I'm not raping I'm not doing anything bad what's so bad about me look at these people with the beard and the hat they're doing all of those things I'm better than them so as long as I I I saw the world and that kind of world view I couldn't become religious I couldn't justify becoming religious and the reason why is because I thought that Judaism depends on the Jews that's as far from the truth as can possibly be the reason why is because Judaism does not depend on the Jews Judaism depends on the Torah with or without the Jews there is Torah with or without the Jews there is Judaism how do we know before we got to mount saai there was Torah already 974 Generations before the world was created hm already created the Torah when we went to mount saai Hashem says okay have the Torah for you we said we'll do it but if hypothetically speaking we said no and someone else came the Greeks came the Romans came the Arabs came somebody else came said no Hashem won't take the Torah what would happen they would become the Jews meaning that what makes you a Jew is not necessarily just because your mom is a Jew not just because you're a nice guy not just because of any other reason other than the fact that you comply with the Torah that's what makes you a Jew it's not just your mother why the reason why we know it's not just your mother is because there's conversion if it was just your mother conversion wouldn't be available you wouldn't be able to convert to Judaism because no matter how many times you read the Torah your mom doesn't change your mom doesn't change as as many times you learn the Torah your mom doesn't change so we know that Torah is the only thing that makes you Jewish and that's one of the most important things for every single Jew to know especially when the yet brings a bad Jew in front of you and you see this this bad Jew looks the part but doesn't act it it doesn't make a difference you still have to do everything you still have to be a good Jew you can't use him as an excuse and Sham they're not going to say oh you know what we're not going to send you to G know because you were surrounded by a bunch of criminals that's not going to work everyone has their own judgment everyone has their own thing there's no free lunch there there no oh yeah listen I didn't grow up a certain way did you know you were Jewish yes so yeah but I didn't grow up a certain way so you didn't grow up a millionaire but you still wanted to be one you didn't grow up a millionaire but that didn't stop you from becoming one that didn't stop you from trying to attain a million but you grew up poor all of the millionaires grew up poor you look at the Forbes 500 maybe a handful of them grew up for money maybe a handful of them most of them grew up dirt poor that didn't stop them from attaining money that didn't stopped them from succeeding they're not going to use the excuse oh I didn't grow up rich or therefore I didn't become rich no the opposite so you can't go up to sh and say no no listen I didn't grow up religious therefore I finished my life I lived another 70 80 90 years not religious you can't use that excuse you can't use it in anywhere else even more so with hasem so in today's world most people think that there's a free lunch available if you're born religious or if you're not born religious people always justify their behavior in different ways I did for many years also until I realized that it's all nonsense now the problems that we have in the Torah were how a simple hello a simple gesture a simple really really nice woman ended up becoming a disaster not only a broken marriage but also a child out of wedlock a child with not someone that's not your husband and a child ends up being a wicked person and he ends up getting a death penalty I mean one thing leads to another it's a domino effect from hell now the key for me to mention all this whole story is to tell you that all of this is relevant today all of it is relevant to you and me today now in the Mish which is critical part of our o Tora it says someone who sends a glass or cup of blessing let's say you do baton the traditional way of doing baton after you finish eating you bless hem for giving you the food when you eat bread and you eat a full meal you do it's the number one most important blessing in all of Judaism it's more important than it's more important than it's more important than anything else if anyone that wants to be successful in life have good health have good kids and so on try your best to do as many b a day as possible meaning eat bread at least once or twice a day just for the sake of doing bone because you can't do without you can't do Bamazon just for eating an apple you can only do if you eat bread because all the things that you want will there be money uh good life and so on and so all the things you want are in all of the special Secrets all of the requests that you would want are in it the traditional way of doing bat is to have the one that recites it for people let's say for example if this three men that ate one of them makes the blessing for the other two it's called Zim if there's 10 there's one that does it for 10 people the traditional way of doing it is the one that does the blessing has a glass of wine and after he finishes the blessing he does a blessing on the wine he drinks the wine as and then he does a blessing again on the wine itself so the mishna says that this wine is not just any wine this wine is a wine of the most important blessing in all of Judaism meaning it's a big deal wine meaning it's holy it's not like uh I just feel like having a drink it's not like I went to a bar and I I met some woman I give her a drink this is you're doing it out of a mitvah someone that sends any wine but even if it's a blessing wine to a woman that's not his wife not he wants to be nice you had Shabbat dinner you had Shabbat afternoon you had guests had guests in your house and there some woman some single woman or some married woman I'm sorry some married woman that's not your wife and you say listen hey uh Martha has a glass of wine have a drink you know it's a blessing wine I just everybody here have a drink you send her the wine the M says he deserves a death penalty why he just did a mitvah you did the blessing I just told you biggest blessing in all of Judaism amazing the wine amazing sharing sharing is caring what happened why why death penalty it says because it's not with permission from her husband it'll cause him to have yet in his mind what yet in his mind that minor connection for two seconds the time two seconds it took her to say yes you said hey Martha here's a wine and she says yes or she says no that's irrelevant yes or no that two seconds of communication that's yet you have a connection now that's inappropriate why she's married and not to you as a man you're going to start thinking crazy things it's a reality of life if you're deny denying it you're denying reality even more so it says even if it's like a group a group of guys all having I don't know L A bunch of people you're having a barbecue ha who ha everybody's having a fun everything is great you know people love to do this stuff everybody loves GL balma just nobody knows why we do it you tell him go tellim who's that is he from is he from bre so people love to have parties love to have parties and parties the typical Israeli European way of doing things sometimes Russian too American I'm not really sure but nonetheless people get too comfortable with other people's wives how comfortable they become friends hey Steve are you coming over tonight yeah I'll come over yeah and the guy comes over and the husband's not there but he still hangs out anyway and they conversations and they talk on the phone and everything is f fine and dandy and they have like BMA together and Steve sends Martha a drink hey Martha that was a good time last week yeah the other barbecue and this and they're friends and everyone thinks this is okay our Torah says even if it's during a group even if it's during a barbecue even if it's a whole event and all the guys feel comfortable because they're white are there and the other guys the wives are there it's not like they're hiding it from their wives even if their wife is there and they're not hiding it the fact that you had this communication with someone that's not your wife you deserve a death penalty why because the yet you just let him in you just let him in now most people are going to look at me like I have eight heads because in today's world there's even a term for it it's called platonic relationships there's many men that have girlfriends there's many men that have girlfriends in fact it's encouraged sometimes sometimes men are or women are proud of it and tell you know how many guy friends I have like they're proud you know how many guy friends I have I only have guy friends I don't get along with women I don't get along with women I only have guy friends I'm friends with 10 guys I'm friends with six guys I'm friends with 25 women you know how many women I'm friends with people are proud of this so it's platonic relationship meaning they're just friends but there's no touching news is there's no such thing as platonic relationship any guy that's friends with a woman it's only because of an ultimate purpose that he's just waiting for the opening that's just a reality any any woman that thinks otherwise is denying reality guys don't think like you that's a reality and that's including religious guys including religious guys now when a woman looks at a guy she says oh he's gentle he's nice he's talkative he's thoughtful he's smart he's funny he's generous he's handsome and then she thinks about a husband my husband smells bad because he works for with cars or works at the garbage he works at the this my husband wasn't nice to me last night my husband doesn't want to talk to me only wants to watch sports or learn or this or that my husband doesn't think about me Shabbat forgot to buy me flowers my husband is an idiot my husband is not funny at all my husband is so cheap I have to beg him for 150 bucks a week just so I could survive and my husband whatever handsome no handsome he's fat now who cares he was handsome when I met him all of a sudden this innocent sadik this kosher woman see Steve that gave her a drink wow he's so thoughtful he thought about me during l b he thought about me and he sent me a drink how nice is Steve how nice is whoever it is how nice is yov how nice is Ruben he sent me a drink and my own husband didn't send me a drink all of a sudden all of the things that a husband isn't he is all of the things that he is a husband isn't and what happens in our mind now in the it says that when y y was called yadik yadik why was he called yadik because he did not fail the test of wasting seed the test of his violating his breit when the wife of potifar tried to entice him to be with her this was not a normal woman the gar says she was one of the four most beautiful woman that ever lived meaning this wasn't exactly an easy test but the PUK says the verse says and ysf came home to do his job what does it mean he came home to do his job has a debate did he come home to do his job meaning to go work or did he come home to do his job meaning to be with pora's wife meaning he said I've had it all the test all the all the all the clothes all the dresses he shows me every day for a year already I said I've had it I'm going with her he decid I'm failing that's it I'm done I can't do it anymore no one's going to be at the house I'm not going to get caught once and for all I'm gonna get business done once and for it's not your wife I can't do it anymore yourself camear says if didn't say it's not your death penalty for saying such a thing says he came to the house to be with p's wife and the last second the last second before mama she was ready to go he saw an image of his father on the wall saw like a like a a uh hologram of his father of yov and yob said to him you know if you do this there won't be 12 tribes there'll be 11 you will not be included in the tribes you will will never be a y and so on and so forth and at that moment that gave him the extra to overcome it but the gar says you had to do something that's beyond our imagination you have to take his hands and literally break his fingers smash him into the floor to create enough pain in his body to overcome the desire because he was so aroused that F just stop now okay I'll see you later that wasn't happening that wasn't happening it wasn't I'll see you later wasn't happening I see you later he's still human holy Tad this still human you have to create enough pain in order to overcome the desire the actually says that the uh such a mystical thing such a magical thing happened that the Sean actually left through his fingernails this is obviously a beyond what our Norm is but nonetheless the point is that he overcame something that no one else was able to overcome and because of him overcoming this test that thear says is why the sea the the Sea of reads opened in the last moment because it saw the grave the uh the uh tomb of YF come and it said oh if he's coming okay just like he ran away from sin we'll run away from uh you know we'll run away and we'll open we'll split the sea but here we learn something really significant we learned that even the most righteous even the most righteous weren't necessarily able to overcome such a test R AKA and R almost fa the same test almost nonetheless some of the most righteous people in the world have actually almost failed this test and some actually did fail it that's why there's a rule in the Torah that there's no one that's above that there's no one that's above arot meaning sex crimes meaning the uh the issues of immodesty and so on no one can pass that test no one should trust themselves no one should trust themselves no no no I'm working with just some woman in my office just me and Har at 8:00 at night but don't worry it's just platonic you're not allowed to take such a test you're not allowed to put yourself in such a circumstance to such an extent that if let's say someone that's a holy Rabbi holy everyone knows him he's a little mini mosu and they say listen Rabbi you have two roads to pick you pick the right Road you go on the right Road you get to the destination in two minutes problem is there's immodesty there there's a this there's a that there's a immodesty there the women there don't know how to wear clothes like everywhere else in America you pick the left Road it's the back alley there's nobody there problem it's going to take you two hours instead of two minutes two hours because you have to go all the way around you have to do this but there's no one there so the little mini Rabbi says two minutes why I'm going to waste two hours I need to go learn T I'll just go to two minutes but I'll close my eyes I close my eyes I won't look at anything says he's a he's wicked why is he Wicked he closed his eyes in today's day anyone had closed their eyes in the streets considered sadik why is this guy closing his eyes considered R why is it considered Wicked why you why did you allow yourself to be tested like that how do you know you're going to pass how could you trust yourself to pass a test almost failed almost failed yourik almost fell how you taking such a test were you better than them so the issue of space between men and women in today's world is literally like a um it's confusing to people you tell people they should keep space between them especially when you're married and so on people look at you like you have eight heads but then you look at the marriage statistics in a secular world you have over 80% divorce rate in a religious world the percentage of divorce is much lower but nonetheless it's growing but one thing for sure that I know from experience forget about divorce rates forget about secular religious one thing for sure is that it's almost impossible to find a happy home it's almost impossible to find a happy marriage almost impossible people pretend to be happy in front of other people they're at the party they're at chabbat dinner they're at an event they're this oh yeah it's my yeah soon as they get in the car they want to stab each other oh you have to look at me that way you have to do this do this why did I bring you why did I marry you I hate your mother I hate your sister they start cursing each other out they bringing up oh and I'm not talking about about secular people I'm talking about religious I have secular is even worse I have M I have disaster after disaster it's like the uh being reported on a weekly basis one of the things that is it's m Satan himself in many many homes Jews non-jews religious non-religious is the internet internet internet itself is literally the Satan himself why on one end we all need it you need it for work you need it to function you can't function without internet in today's world it's just a reality internet on a computer internet on your phone internet here internet there you need it you need it if you have a business unless you live in I don't know in Mongolia you need the Internet you need to advertise you need to get customers you need to do a lot of things on the internet in reality today if there's no internet there's no business it's not like the old days where people drive around until they find a shop people look at their phone do I need a car shop oh okay over here I'm going down the street it's uh five minutes from me people don't look at you know driving around I'm going to find a shop people look at it in a way where they say listen I'm going to look at my computer what's the closest place to me after that the internet has provided them enough information to say what's the closest place that's the best place there's star rating and this rating and that rating and so on and so forth meaning that the internet is no different than electricity just like you can't live without electricity you can't live without internet in most places in most houses in most lives but even this when it's misused can become dangerous if you have had a friend that uh used to have a business used to have this special technology to heat your floors special technology this I don't know uh different types of uh um not uh whatever special doesn't make a difference special technology to heat your floors special technology to heat your blanket special technology to heat your pillow special technology to heat anything you want wonderful obviously all of this depends on electricity now if I have a chair using as technology and I want to get nice and cozy in the freezing cold weather in Florida for the first time since I've been here in three years last few last couple of weeks it's freezing here so I wanted a special warm chin I'm using this technology I don't feel freezing anymore right but if there's a malfunction in the button there a malfunction in the button and instead of let's say there being I'm for a hypothetical example instead of there being 50 Watts going there 5,000 Watts this just turned into an electric chair it's not what do you mean it's electricity it's misused it becomes a weapon if it's misused it becomes a weapon the internet can help your business can help even your marriage how instead of your wife going out to to see Carlos and Steven at the supermarket she can shop on the internet instead instead not go out there to see all these strange people excuse me looking at like she's cattle I tell you myself happiest days of my life is when my wife tells me oh I just shopped where online never leave the house why I don't want to go anywhere because I know everybody looks a certain way that's just it's just a reality I tell my wife all them the L you leave the house the better L I leave the house the better we have to we have to leave but nonetheless if you don't have to why for what so the internet can help you why instead of going to the supermarket you could press a few buttons and and the shopping comes to your house who's better than you if instead of going to spend two hours at some toy store or some clothing store you can press the two buttons and it comes to your house why not so this can help but if it's misused it's a weapon if the credit card becomes like a slot machine and she starts spending money like it's like it's air it becomes a weapon that creates schite problems even more so even more dangerous than money because money is paper at the end of the day it's not even paper anymore it's digital if she decides to go on one of these social networks to become reconnected with our old school buddies and all of a sudden Steve from 1987 says oh hey Wilma how are you how you been how's everything how's everything how's it going how's it this how's it that oh you have two kids or you have a husband wow great and all of a sudden she goes hey husband David how are you yeah I just met Steve from high school from 20 years ago oh who's Steve oh you remember Steve there's a whole thing conversation and David is an idiot he says oh yeah you should reconnect you should tell him to come over you should tell Steve to come over see what happen see how is he doing and little this idiot David realizes that Steve just came over not because he cares about it's because maybe he's looking for a new girlfriend he just let the wolf inside is inside inside the house why it's he let her have a boyfriend Mar he's only my friend on Facebook now you guys think that I'm exaggerating I know I can tell you I'm dealing right now this second with at least a half a dozen a half a dozen more almost a dozen actually marriages that are on the brink of breaking why because of social media all of them religious so he if it's secular listen secular people change uh husbands and wives like underwear you look at the celebrities they all married at least five times to be a celebrity you can't be a celebr celebrity without getting married five times until you're married five times you're not a celebrity you're like a second class celebrity once you're married five times oh you're Hollywood okay you're welcome to Hollywood you're welcome to Hollywood married five times but in in a in a religious world it's unaccept it's unacceptable I remember when I was a kid divorce Shalom who gets divorced these days what are you talking about divorce don't even say such a word it was a curse word when I was a kid saying divorce is like a curse word what do you you mean divor who gets divorced we die angry and not get divorced well die angry and not get divorced who gets divorced today people change marriages like they change underwear but this is not ex this is not something you that's explainable without realizing where the source is the source is is that we forgot what our Torah said our Torah said that we have to have modesty modesty is not just your clothes modesty is also not just your speech modesty is also what kind of friend you have modesty is also what kind of friend you allow yourself to have modesty is your entire life how you run your marriage what kind of what kind of life you're going to have now when people feel like it's okay to have these platonic relationships they're opening themselves up for a disaster and right now there's a few of the relationships that I'm trying to save are relationships that started not even on Facebook you know Facebook you would think you know they he sees her picture she sees his picture whatever they start talking socializing after a few months boyfriend girlfriend even though he's married and she's married and there's kids here and there's kids here care they'll break houses that way people thought that Facebook was Satan himself they don't realize that's Satan's little brother Satan's little brother why because it's obvious it's obvious he sees has a picture she has a picture everyone knows it's not you try he's still trying to hide where's the Satan himself text messaging WhatsApp regular text why you have these groups and sometimes they're Torah groups I have I don't know 25 groups 25 group we spread Torah all day but there's always a no there's always some some SLE bag in the group there's always a SLE bag that goes into the group and looks at the directory of the group looks at the numbers and he starts texting different women because it says the name of the woman especially the women that are that that don't realize how guys think they put their picture as a profile so he sees a pretty picture he sees a phone number hey I just got some digits it's like it's better than going to the bar use that Hey listen I'm from the 80s what can you tell you I'm old I just got number I just got a number how do you get a number doing nothing he joined a Torah group hey look Hashem s [Music] me this is the of today you guys think that this is only from this B no no let me tell you there are people that pretend to be religious they'll even tell you they learn in Yeshiva they even tell you they're going to learn in K they tell you oh no I'm divorced with two three kids but she really hurt me and she this and she that but I'm really a nice guy okay if you're a nice guy why are you talking to a married woman if you're so religious why are you talking to a married woman why don't you know that someone that goes with a married woman there's no end to his suffering no end no end him thebat are in the same place permanently what happens permanently eventually they get destroyed and just whatever Hashem put in there take he takes back there is no chuva for them in the next world there's no Gil there's no reincarnation there's nothing there only suffering if you're so religious why are you doing it but this is yet today you have to protect your wives and husbands more than you would protect anything else in life why because the amount of yet that's out there is M crazy and that's why I was telling you some of you before this you anyone that literally just wants to survive I'm not talking about Prosper I'm not even talking about withu and and all that talking about just simply survive and you're gonna be okay when mashia comes or after 120 you have to be religious but not the type of religious that's exterior only religious where you're working on your inside on a daily basis religious where you're fixing yourself on a daily basis because if not you won't survive there are plenty of so-called religious people that are making sins worse than any secular person I've ever met why it all starts some they sometimes starts on the internet they go to these different pornographic websites or they make certain phone calls or they go to certain parties and a what kind of stuff happens in the world and unfortunately I have to deal with this stuff all the time why CU after the disaster strikes who do they call not Ghostbusters it's me they call me with this stuff yeah listen I'm old what can I tell you I'm old so just to give you a little bit of an understanding of what the Torah thinks about this Shalom saw that there is these l parties at the grave of rimai rimai wrote The Z was KES entire mystical aspect of the Torah a large part of it is from him not all of it but a large part of it from him and people thought that they're going to elevate themselves in Holiness by going to his grave and they would have all of these parties bonfires and so on said it's to go there not allowed to go there why he said the amount of hesty and the amount of of marriages that are broken after he says is unreal every he he ran the bed after everybody goes there they Party Like It's 1999 and they go and they want to get divorced after why cuz they found new boyfriend they found new boyfriend they found new girlfriend they found new this they want to go toed who they go to he says it's it's not once twice three times he says enormous amount of marriages get broken up at these parties people think that they're doing a Mitzvah it ends up being the destruction of their own home not allowed first of all you're not allowed to drink with when the Torah is out so people that are drinking when the Torah is out when they're lifting the Torah they're violating the T they're just just they're making a very very big mistake the second thing is is that the the guys are supposed to celebrate in one room the women are supposed to celebrate in another room any of these shoes that have the the the people celebrate together you're not even allowed to go to those places not allow you're not allowed to celebrate not allowed to dance together conserv conservative Sho is not a Sho it's a church same thing of going to a church now so moving forward there is in page 21b it gives a definition of some of these fires that I talked about in last week's year about gome and so on there is some a concept called fire that eats fire now sometimes a person that has a big yet for sex big every woman that moves he has to look every that he has to even though he's married even if he has kids and so on or even if he does doesn't make a difference or perhaps a woman that uh needs a new boyfriend every week for such a person they need what's the only way they could overcome this huge desire only way is by them learning about the harsh harsh punishment that's your is for them that's the only way why normal lectures are not going to work for them they need fire to beat the fire that's inside them regular people may not need it regular people tell them this is not good for you marriage is going to break up you shouldn't do it it's against God it's against this normal people it's fine some people unfortunately have such a huge for this that's their only way for them to fix themselves is with harsh harsh stuff harsh lectures where they know the real truth that many people can't hand next thing is is that you have to understand that a simple flirtatious Behavior just being nice I had one woman one time send me a message or call me and said she moved into the area that I was living and she wanted me to study with a husband or something like that and she was this and she heard about me from this one and that one and D and simply because of the tone of her voice I never returned the call why she thought I was she was making a friend I'm not interested in making friends I'm interested in remaining married so I waited a few days to answer by text no call why why you going to put yourself in trouble why you put yourself in front of a test why for what for what what what purpose is it going to serve what if the voice that sounds the way way it sounds is also matched by Behavior what if you don't know why take the test for what today girls little girls little cute holy girls are taught that it's a good thing to be flirtatious you see any of these I mean my wife God bless her she watched literally every single thing she uh gives my kids to watch our kids to watch she has to make sure it's digital it's controlled it's cartoon it's this but even the cartoons even the cartoons you have to watch them before you give it to the kids why you wouldn't believe what they show these kids the behavior of these cartoon characters are worse than anything else I imagin as a kid worst why they teach the kids to be flirtatious they teach the kids to be boyfriend girlfriend that's six years old they show of boyfriend girlfriend at 6 years old were taught everything the opposite I had a girl that did chva everything was great she says I want to get married but my dad won't let me I said why isn't your dad won't let me why won't let you you're 18 years old what's wrong he says no he thinks I should date her for a little while I'm like what do you mean a little while he goes no he thinks I should have a few boyfriends for the next few years this is her father this is an idiot father wants her to go be husband wife with a few boyfriends until she finally picks one it's not coming from the streets it's coming from inside our homes Raa one of the people in thear one of the sages in thear 400 years he learned a few things in those 400 years few and he said Isa the word is is man Isa is woman the way each is spelled is is spelled is spelled Alin meaning they have two common letters Al and shin and two letters that are different which is UD and he UD and he individually or together spell the name of God there's different names of God individually or together spell the name of God he says when is and Isa are together you have marriage but once you remove the god part the God out of each one of the is or the ISA you remove the ud from the is from the man you rem remove the letter hey from the word Isha what do you have left fire once you remove God from your life all you have is fire all you have a disaster no marriage no children no nothing nothing matters once a person puts God aside whether it's a male or a female nothing will stop them from breaking homes nothing will stop them from doing anything no keepa no no nothing nothing anyone that thinks that divorce rates are steady or we're living better because we're religious you you should know there are actually literally groups groups like like peer groups made of people that are coming from the religious world after divorce and now they're trying to figure out a way how to move on with their life meaning that this is like a movement this is not like a happen stance people you know contact me all the time why don't we do some shes for divorce people what why why do divorce people need to have shes just learn to you wouldn't be divorced unfortunately this is the part of to that's not taught very often it's called m m is the character development if we develop our character we never get divorced but because we don't because musar has almost become like a curse word in Judaism many people get married but they don't know how to be married children get married they may be 20 25 30 years old but they're still children in their mind and they get married they still think they could look at other girls they get married they can still think that they could be flirtatious with other guys they get married they still think they should look good for everyone else not just their husband they get married thinking that they should flaunt their money in front of all the girls even though they're not their wives people live their lives the opposite of what God Said and then they're surprised they get divorced so again some divorces are because one person is sick one person is whatever but the reality is is that many marriages are broken because of lack of modesty and I don't just mean clothes clothes obviously is a very big big factor but it's not just clothing it's literally sending a drink sending a drink to someone that's not your wife page 1B Natan this person named Natan uh gave a loan to a to a certain person what happened there was a person that got arrested person that got arrested and uh his wife came to him in the jail I said what should I do he said listen the only one that has the money is not he's the he's the rich guy go to him go to Natan and get the money to bail me out now she goes to natan's house and Natan really always always was in love with her she comes to his house he says yeah I need a loan for my husband he says for you anything for you anything if I could only have you and she says listen you have me I'm here you're saving my husband's life and you have a choice you have a choice I'm at your mercy there's nothing I can do but the reality is you have a choice you could either take it Vantage of your desires overcome them and be like your sadik your choice and overcomes his desires and he lets her go he gives her the money for her husband and despite having an opportunity that he's always wanted for many years he lets her go now after she goes and frees a husband a husband knows that Natan always wanted his wife and he says You must have been with him if in order for him to give you the money must have wanted something back I don't believe you that you weren't with him and he refused to be with his wife and he wanted to divorce her he wanted to divorce his wife because he didn't believe it there's no way you went all the way to his house he gave you the money and he didn't get what he wanted there's no way she said listen I did no I didn't do anything I was you didn't believe her he didn't have enough proof to divorce her and get a get without paying the uh without paying the get and he didn't have at the same time any trust in her he didn't want to be with her one day R AKA sees there's a man and he sees something other people don't see R AA was one of the holiest people that ever lived he was able to see things we can't see he sees his one person has a holy fire on top of his head that reaches the sky like the like a fire on top of his head and he comes up to this person it's he says what did you do that made you so holy than everybody else you know a lot of Tora you're a secret sadik no no I don't know nothing I know Basics goes uh what did you do go I tell you the truth I uh I give I givea says you don't get a fire like that by giving what did you do that made you like yadik oh there was a time and he tells him the story of how the woman came to him SOA goes to a husband and he says you have nothing to worry about your wife is one of the holiest women in the generation she didn't fail a test and the she didn't fail a test which is also one of the holiest men in the generation sometimes we do things and we don't think that there's a consequence for them we don't think there's an outcome for them because we don't see it sometimes you simply don't see things so you think nothing happened after um kanuka I saw my nextd door neighbor also a nice Jewish guy ashkanazi guy and uh he says to me so I was getting out of the car was a little bit in a hurry and uh he came and he kind of wanted to talk for a little bit and I said yeah no he goes listen I have to tell you you changed my grandson's life I'm looking maybe he's talking to somebody behind me me who who I know what do I know about your grandson last know last thing I know about his grandson he was like six years old seven years old I don't I don't have any six seven years old other than sad that comes here other than that I don't have anybody El grandson how do I know your grandson no you don't understand you lit your manora for kanuka on the window and my grandson passed with us and he saw your manora lit at night he said wow Sabah I never saw a Hanukah manora lit at the window I never saw it before so I tell the guy I'm like what do you mean you don't like Manor he goes no no of course I light like so where do you light it he says no I light it usually by the door I usually light it by the door or I light it in the back said oh no the manur is supposed to be the whole point of the manora of Hanah you're supposed to put it where most people are going to see it he goes yeah I put it in the back I said no the is there has to be a road separating you and your neighbor she like go so where should I put it and I told him where I put it next year but the point is me my wife and a little kids we just like the manura innocently we like the what do we think what's the big deal to manur like every year we like the manura we celebrate we pray some dral we put some I'm the only one that eats them because everyone else wants to and that's it everything is fun everything is fun what's the big who who thinks that this little manora on the seventh day on the seventh day is gonna be imprinted into a seven-year old's mind for the rest of his life who thinks like a thing who thinks such a thing you all of you live minoras did you think oh when I'm lighting this this manora is going to change the life of a seven-year-old he's going to remember it forever why that's the way the kids are every single thing that you do has an outcome sometimes you see it sometimes you don't sometimes that offer to the people in the office hey who wants coffee you know who wants coffee you think you're being nice and Steve says yeah I'll take one okay I'll bring you the coffee Steve and you bring him the coffee because you think you're being a nice woman why not Steve is my colleague we were at Harvard together we were in going to be in Gom together soon oh what's the problem what's the problem it's just coffee it's just coffee what's the big deal who wants coffee you know how many marriages are being broken up right now as we speak over coffee over who wants coffee I'm trying to be funny to lighten up the issue but the reality is that it's very sad and very real I have women sending me messages and men sending me messages they telling me I don't want to be married anymore why I met someone on Whatsapp I met someone on Facebook I met someone in my office I met someone here and I met someone there and I said how did you let it happen okay fine now you're already in it 6 Months 8 months nine months what are we going to do once a woman touches another man she cannot go back to a husband there's no such thing we don't have such a thing like the Americans or the go in general where the woman cheats and then she goes back to husband and he forgives and everything's okay there is no okay there's no okay that's it it's finished you're not allowed to be with her even if you want to and she's not allowed to be with him either there's no okay there's no like oh yeah I'll let this one pass we'll work it out there's no will work it out she's she's she's forbidden to him same thing as nid same thing as Shalom anything else but but allowed she may be a very nice person she may have made a mistake not on purp but whatever not allowed not allowed you know how many marriages are broken because of this so for all of these women and men that are spending an obnoxious amount of time on the internet on WhatsApp thinking that they're doing good for the world you have to check yourself what are you using it for are you using it for the family or you using it for your desires you can't tell me your husband oh h I'm I'm in 20 Torah groups but in reality you're not watching anything in the Torah groups you're just watching if your new boyfriend is in this group and that group and you're only joining it because of him same thing with the guys these no these despicable people that join groups only so they could look at the pictures of women and then they try texting people this happens this happens on a daily basis you think I'm exaggerating I see this they come to me after dis disaster strikes they sent text text messages to women hey what's up hey how you doing where you from everybody's Romeo everybody's Romeo hey what you doing where you from oh yeah you like Rabbi ruven yeah he's the best yeah yeah Rabbi ruven go yeah yeah he's the greatest yeah yeah yeah we should watch a she together you should start selling tickets guys are laughing but this is breaking up marriages though it's not funny but it's funny it's funny but it's not funny a woman came toad Shalom one of the greatest kiru rabbis in history you listen to his lectures if you're not on fire at the end of the lecture you should check your pulse Giant but seriously lectures I didn't listen to too many but every single one of them put me on such fire I felt it for a week a woman came to she says I want to get a blessing I want to get a blessing but I can't seem to get the right blessing from any Rabbi I've gone to so many rabbis I can't get the blessing that I want so the Rob says to her why not what's wrong with the bless what kind of blessing do you want she goes no I want a regular blessing the blessing like it says the T okay no no no like it says in the Tor he says what does it say in the Torah is a blessing a blessing in the Torah how is it done the the sadik the puts the hand his hands on the head of the person he's blessing but no is is willing to do it in those days they still weren't willing to do it no R is willing to put his hands on my head to bless me appropriately like my father used to my father when I was growing up used to bless me oh he's your father he's allowed but I want a Rob I want sadik to bless me like it's supposed like it says in the Torah he says my daughter let me explain something to you when you light your candles for Shabbat do you touch the fire she say no of course not why do you do your blessing say oh I like the candles and I go like this and like my mom taught me then I put my hands on my face because why don't you put your hands inside the fire to see maybe it's not hot enough says no I don't want to burn my hands he says exactly I don't want to burn my hands either I don't want to burn my hands either page 25b it says a woman needs to understand hem created her in a certain way what's the creation what how did he create her her entire body can be used e either as a tool of protection or as a weapon her body I don't hang me yet this is to explain something here we have a woman in Hisar it said what happens if a woman was captured by a non-jew what if she was captured by a non-jew and he wants to rape her what do we do how do we do she be afraid that he's going to kill her says you don't have to worry he's not going to kill her why is he not going to kill her because a woman knows how to use her her her body as a weapon or as a tool to make sure that he doesn't want to kill her doesn't want to kill her to save herself she can use one of the two meaning Hashem created with a certain nature and he created a man with a certain nature where she can in most cases obviously the Psychopaths out there in most cases she can protect herself because of the specialty of her body what am I trying to tell you not trying to tell you to do get yourself into trouble shom what I'm trying to tell you is that any woman needs to understand that Hashem created you differently than a man you're not a man men look at other men and don't think anything other than he's disgusting women look at other women I like oh she's pretty men look at women and they think of bad thoughts women look at men and they think oh he must be a nice guy this is the nature it's never going to change not with you not with anyone watching not anyone one before and not anyone after if we deny it and we say no no no he's different he's different he's my friend from high school he's different he's my boss he's different he's my this he's different he's my this then you should look at statistics a few months ago it was announced is the most religious place in the world religious place in the world not just in Israel in the world when you think of Judaism B in an office in b a big company it was found that the B the the boss was forcing himself on all of the women employees there married not married whoever and unfortunately most of them fell for it why they wanted to keep their job they want to keep their job when says that the Angels asked AB ainu where's your wife where's your wife they wanted to remind him of how modest his wife is that she's not hanging out with other men even though it's our house there's nothing wrong there's a lot wrong has to be separation there must be separation there's no such thing as platonic relationships page 37a it says for all of those people that think that they can maintain the platonic relationships no no she's my employee it's okay we're in the office till 8:00 at night and it's okay we're friends now she's married I'm married we have kids sometimes our kids play together we're friends you should know that there's laws of you're not allowed to be alone with a woman that's not your wife in a closed area there has to be other people it has to be a door that's always open there's certain laws you must know now if you think you're above the law because now she's my friend she's 90 years old I'm 100 she has a dog I have a cat we're not the same I hate her she likes me all that you think you're different you're convinced you're different you're different you're different because you're smarter because you came to the sh because whatever you are thear specifically talks to you and he says lighting fire lighting fly and not expecting it to burn you is only an act of fool lighting a fire and putting your hand in it playing with the fire in essence and not expecting to get burnt eventually only a fool thinks like that only a fool it's only a matter of time even if she's 90 even if she's 900 even if she's not Jewish even if she's Jewish even if she's young even if she's married even if she anything if you allow yourself to play with with fire it's only a matter of time before you get burned it's only matter of time and I'll finish it off with this and you guys could ask as many questions you want the Mish here says that a person that just simply passes a drink a blessing a blessing drink to a woman that's not his wife that's not allowed it's forbidden to him even more so if it's at a bar even more so if it's not in a holy event even more so if it's a woman that's completely a stranger to him says for that the Torah puts a death penalty on him why because he's about to create death with the following Act of what happens after these things if he fails if she fails and so on and the thing is you have to understand is that anyone that truly loves their wife truly loves their wife needs to help her needs to help her by making sure she never has a reason to look elsewhere every single case literally every single case of these women that come to me after the fact that they have a boyfriend now or they have a this or they have a digital relationship they haven't officially cheated on their husband physically but they're in love with Steve and and jenam wherever he is on WhatsApp they're love with Wilbur in Alaska they're love with somebody that's digital they're not they're not they're not they're not here but they're in love they're in love they're infatuated there's a relationship it's he's amazing she's amazing we talk all night we talk all day we this we we click we this he doesn't smell like my husband she doesn't know he smells even worse than her husband she doesn't realize that cuz to her her husband is the worst this guy on digital planet is the is the best why why because her husband made her miserable why did she ever why did any woman ever get to a point where another man talking to her is even an option of entertaining she's unhappy why because many of these men with no exception like to torture their wives they think they're like baby ovens so they figure that the only thing they're good for is to make kids but if it comes to making sure that they're happy nah it's okay she'll be happy on her own with the kids what about taking her out once in a while on a birthday or whenever she feels like she wants to you know for a dinner or something what about buying our flowers for Shabbat what about being generous what about being a gentleman what about making her happy what about making her laugh what about spending a little bit of time with her what about all that stuff oh yeah no no that's uh she does that with her girlfriend she does that with Steve on Facebook so he gives the job of being a husband to Steve and then he surprises that Steve becomes the husband so even for the guys that are learning even the guys that are learning tah you need to know that even with all of your learning t which is critical the world depends on it you still need to spend a little time with your wife once in a while meaning every day half hour an hour a day spend some time with your wife but if it gets to a point where all day you're with your wife that's also not healthy there's all wife no Torah it's also going to end up in a disaster because the Torah is what keeps you at Bay the Torah is what keeps you connected to hem and what gives you direction of how to run your life so it can't be just Torah and no wife it can't be just wife no no Torah it has to be a balance you can't uh become one of your wife's girlfriends and talk to her all night until the morning but at the same token you can't be one of these mute husbands that talks to them only when they want to eat like a polar bear just makes humming sounds or or growls when he's hungry can't be one of these people either and last but not least abai for all of these guys that think that they're the ones that are making the money and decide to be stingy on their wives you should know that your wife hates you and she's right for hating you all cheap men are hated by their wives all of them without an exception without an exception without an exception every single woman hates a husband when he's cheap cheap with her it's not because she values money it's not because she values money it's not because she thinks of only money it's not because she's materialistic it's not because of that it's because when you're cheap on your wife you make her feel like nothing you make her feel like she's worthless you make her feel like the kid you brought to the world with your DNA in it also worth nothing you make it feel like heart taking care of the house is worth nothing you make her feel like she being the wife that's supposed to be honest and protective of a family is nothing you're being cheap on her you don't want to give her some money to whatever do whatever she needs to do why you surprised she wants to kill you why you surprised she wants to go to Steve Steve is generous at least when they're dating I'm serious this is not purely the women's fault this is also not purely the men's fault it's a combination that's why we have the Torah that's why we have the Tor because the Tor is supposed to be an instru set that keeps you out of trouble and if the Torah mentioned a story about a woman named schlomit that just flirted a little bit flirted a little bit not intentionally she was married she was happy everything was good but she flirted a little bit and it tells us a builtup story of how the disaster went from just smiling at an Egyptian to being raped by an Egyptian to having a kid with the Egyptian to the kid becoming a wicked person and getting a death penalty that whole story is not for entertainment purposes it's to tell you that that is still happening today if your wife is talking to another man on WhatsApp or on Facebook on whatever application there is in the world that's because you're doing something wrong that's because you're doing something wrong instead of letting Steve be the husband you be the husband if your wife is not happy it's your fault no one else's oh no but it's her friends no she has her friends because you make her miserable a happy wife doesn't need friends she has a husband her kids is more than enough who has time once it's in a blue moon whatever they have kid dates or whatever the little kids play together but in reality it's for the kids just to not have a headache it's not because she needs friends she has more than enough fulfillment from a wonderful husband there's more than enough fulfillment from a wonderful family he has more than enough fulfillment from his wonderful wife and kids there's no time for friends when every was oh no he's antisocial he's an I'm happy about the family it's the only thing you have to worry about if someone's unhappy you have to look in the mirror no one just becomes unhappy because they're born the wrong side no one you have to look in the mirror sometimes because you're cheap sometimes because you're angry sometimes because you don't take care of your hygiene sometimes because your eyes don't stop looking at every woman that that moves and it makes her feel uncomfortable sometimes because you don't know how to give a compliment because you think it cost you money to give her a compliment sometimes guys talk to their wives like they talk to football players guys talk to their wives they talk to the soccer team she's not a man don't talk to her like one you have to know how to talk you have to speak like a like a person like a Ben Tora even if you're not can't talk to like she's one of the guys can't give her high five she's not your boy she's not same thing with the women stop pretending like you're one of the guys you're not everyone has their role if everyone plays their role everyone's happy once she pretends to be a guy and you pretend to be a woman you become a celebrity on uh MTV they do a reality show on you so it's not that hard it's not that hard what's hard is overcoming that yet that keeps telling you know no log on to WhatsApp and see who's on it log on to uh Facebook and see if he made a comment on your uh if he liked your post and I told you there's a woman right now she's psychopath she fell in love with one of the people on team hasem and she's she's typing all over the Internet his name hey answer me she's a married woman a married religious woman she's looking for a young guy that's 20s something years old how come you won't answer me I told him you're forbidden to answer her she's psychopath she's a married woman I don't know why she's talking to you like this you guys should have never talked in the first place like this how did it get to this she f in love with someone digitally do you this is happening every day you have to be very careful you want to protect your family that's the number one Jewel it's more important your job it's more important your career it's more important than your money it's more important your dreams aspirations you have a family you don't want it don't start one you don't want it don't start one at least these laws seem like it's the opposite of our reality today and that's the truth it is it is the opposite of our reality today but that's why the previous generations divorce was a curse word because it just wasn't existent it was nonexistent people didn't get divorced because there was no need there was just no need so yes technology can be used and is necessary to do a lot of good things the reason why we reach so many people every single week hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people learn our tah every week is because of technology so we can't just forbid it and say it's not allowed it's not allowed it's just not realistic you need it but just like an electric chair the only difference between an electric chair and a regular chair is too much electricity same thing too much too much you get addicted to Whatsapp you get addicted to Twitter you get addicted to the internet you start making friends you're looking looking for trouble you're playing with fire it's only a matter of time it's only a matter of time before this stuff becomes an addiction and even if you don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend on the internet the fact that so many people spend more time on the internet than their own kids is a problem kids feel like their their father and their mother's an iPhone they're waiting online at the Apple stores for the new iPhone because they're looking for ABA ABA oh there my new ABA he's $800 it's my new EMA it's $950 and it has a 64 gigabyte hard drive [Music] [Applause] [Music]