Am I Really Doing TeShuva?

[Music] how do you know if you're doing chuva one sign one signai is when you get to the point where you're disgusted with the sins you've made in the past to such a point that it's encouraging you to stop now just being disgusted and upset about your past that could simply be just yet why he wants you to say oh you're such a sinner you did this you did this ah there's no hope for you you lose hope and you uh decide to be for the rest of your life that's yet but that wants you to do CH the good inclination also wants to remind you you know all those things you used to do you used to see this you used to watch this you used to do do all those things you used to do it's no good okay that's why you did Chua okay next year by the way remember those things yeah I did cha for them no no not really why supposed to be sorry well but I stopped okay stopped this one thing you have to be sorry for them too how could I be sorry I had a lot of fun with that girl with that guy with the this how could I all so you didn't do chva yet if you're still talking about your life before you did chuva oh remember when we were with that girl with the guy and went to here and went to there with the money and with the this and I took that that guy and I did that remember all that stuff oh you're still celebrating it you haven't begun CH or you did shange clothing all you did is change clothing and you became a robot to keep Shabbat that's it CH is fixing the the inside that's CH takes time takes time takes effort it's not automatic it's not like Shabbat where you know what if you sleep all day for 25 hours straight you kept Shabbat technically it's not on Shabbat but you at least you didn't violate it it's not something that just happens automatically you have to actually work here you have to work on your midot we have to work on our midot so this series is one that's helping me at least work on my midot and some people are telling me that it's also helping them drastically one guy said he was Rel just he just sent me a email recently says you know I've been religious from birth born with a keepon maybe payis do and religious this that school Yeshiva related to rabbis the all the whole nine and I don't know exactly how old he is but he's not young he's not 90 but he's not Young he said until now until I started watching your I did not realize how significant really is and then actually you know what I wanted to double check I want it to double check CU yeah you say some things or mrai says some things maybe it's just your opinion so I looked it up and he said I always thought of the as like this you know fluffy nice old man and I'm sure he was a nice old man but you know what I found when I actually read the book I read what the actually said much worse than you I'm the nice fluffy guy next to the everybody likes talk about no it's not nice to say bad things oh you know how much talked about you know how much talked about and you know what the biggest kept secret in Judaism today is every single major every single major RAV that ever existed the beginning of time until just this past generation or two anyone that was of any significance spent an enormous amount of their writing and their time discussing why it's more than half the Torah with which means that only now in this this this this horrific generation that we're in and we're part of is got to such a point that thinking that some people consider something that you shouldn't even bother with one R I heard recently said anyone that's scared of God is a fool I said anyone that continues to listen to you is a fool but this is this is the world we living unless you start looking into it yourself and you're depending on speeches whether it's my speech or somebody else's you're never gonna get rid of that sufff you're never going to get rid of that doubt because even if you read if you watch all my lectures unless you double check everything I say or at least a bunch of them to the point where you know whatever he says I've already verified enough that I know by now it's already it's good if you don't start taking notice of the things I mentioned I mentioned to you this and all these different books you don't start checking some of these things you're always gonna have a doubt why the minute there a problem in your life the minute some Rabbi with a longer beard than mine shows up to your life know he's he's this he's that immediately I go from here you forgotten you watched for a year and a half what happened oh him yeah yeah I think I know he is yeah I think yeah yeah that yeah he's new he's new what do you mean you were Glu to me for a year and a half watching what Happ no I heard from some Rabbi that's much older than him he said that's not is not like what he says he's he's M he's he's a fanatic he's like one of these Muslims Muslim terrorist trying to take care over the world in Jewish uniform unless you start double cheing what I say you will never get rid of that saf and right now you're all saying no I don't have saf I've already been coming for a year two years I have no sa you have saf how do I know I used to be you I used to go to lectures too until I started double-checking what the rabbis were saying I had sa I had a doubt why maybe he's just he's interpreting it that way maybe just that one Rabbi said it that he's mentioning but all the other ones are saying something else maybe he just chose the one really strict opinion because he's strict you have to double check and until you start double cheing abai we're not going to get rid of that am that's inside us we're not going to fulfill that Mitzvah of cha [Music]