Rabbi Tzvi Sytner @ Project Inspire Retreat 2019

[Music] whenever you're ready me too good morning good morning everybody good morning somebody just came up to me and said I'm coming to your class so you better be good talk about pressure yeah got it so by the way how awesome was this sabaton was this not all absolutely incredible big shout out to the project inspire and Jay inspire and Asia Torah and everybody that was involved in putting this together and tour anytime dot-com you know that you know that thing that story any time but show of hands how people listen to any time that's awesome if you don't know tour anytime dot-com I don't work for them I just think dot-com yeah but I don't work for them but I highly recommend checking it out sometimes sometimes yes tour anytime calm what's that actually it always says that this Torah class has brought to you by Torah anytime calm you know doctor I always wonder no it's not me I am a voice of person ater but that's not me anyway is that who it is oh boy oh man I love rabbika tell him yeah yeah thank you so much perfect thank you so about I would say seven years ago seven years ago I was list I was living in Westchester County we had an outreach organization there hi Linda yes you know we had an outreach organization still going strong Berkeley I'm now I live in Toronto but every Sunday morning I would learn with two surgeons and we were going through Tila going through davon E and then one Sunday we get up to Chima start learning about it one of the surgeons says I have a Shema story I said great what is it let's hear him he said about a year and a half ago I was running a little late to work get in my car I'm at the red light before I get on to the highway and right next to me pulls up a black Italian Ducati motorcycle the rider was wearing black pants black jacket black helmet the light turns green and the guy jets off now the guy telling me the story let's just call him dr. Goldberg because that was his name and it actually wasn't his name but he said he said dr. globe would say goes the moment the light turned green and this guy Jed off I knew it was gonna be bad he said I knew who's gonna be bad anyway he gets onto the highway he starts driving after about a minute on the highway he seized the motorcycle on its side skidding across the highway with sparks coming out from underneath he quickly pulls the car over he starts looking around where's the rider where's the rider eventually he finds him he runs over to him and when he gets there he sees that he's missing a leg from his he takes off his he takes off his lab coat he puts the lab coat onto to onto his open wound and he's and he's just putting pressure so he doesn't bleed out interesting enough total hush special practice the second person on the scene was doctor Goldbergs nurse who was running late that day also second person on the scene the two of them are working on this guy trying to keep him alive he said I've seen pretty gross things in my life as a surgeon he said but this is the first time I was actually petrified because as I'm sitting there with him he starts to lift his hand and he lifts it up to his helmet and he starts pulling his helmet off and he said I was so scared what is he gonna say tell my wife I love her his dying words tell my kids I'll miss them what is he gonna say he's I was petrified he finally gets the helmet off he lifts up his hand that he puts it on his eyes and he starts saying shema yisrael hashem elokenu hashem echad a year later this guy shows up to dr. goldberg store on era of Rosh Hashana with his two daughters by his side prosthetic leg and he says thank you for saving my life Shema it's one of the most powerful its filos one of the most powerful prayers that we have in Judaism you some of the first words we say every single morning and it's often the last words we say before we go to bed when we have a child from the day our children are born from the day they take their first breath we start saying shmeil with them every single day until they could say it on their own and then we all know that the day we take our last breath is also the day we say Shema it's one of the most fundamental prayers in Judaism it's a foundation and we all know that over the last 3300 years there have been likely millions of Jews that have given their lives been murdered with the words Shamar l the swards off their lips what's the deal what is it about Shiva I believe I believe strongly that if we look at these six words just these six and we study them so in depth to the point that we integrate them into our lives that we really make it a part of our lives I believe it could change our lives I believe that I wouldn't be up here wasting my time or yours if I didn't think so you see our lives all of us is something we all have in common is that we all have stress in our lives everybody has stress everybody worries we all have anxiety we worry about our kids we worry about our marriages we worried not me but other people we worry about our marriages we worry about our businesses and we worry about making money being able to pay the bills we worry about our families we there's so much anxiety and stress there's actually an organization called it's it's the worldwide organization for stress I forget the exact name but they they studied humanity and stress among the globe they say seventy-seven percent seventy-seven percent of people report a regular work-related stress either physiological or psychological seventy-seven percent by the way if you were thinking of moving to China its eighty-six percent in China so don't move to China so fast okay we've so much stress we've so much worry and I believe these six words studied properly and integrated into our lives can actually bring so much more as we say we do come so much more tranquility into our lives you begin to mitigate some of that stress so I want to go through them with you I want to go through them in depth with you let's start with the first words of Shania straw which are amazing we're off to a good start this is good this is good we have an intelligent crowd this morning this is good are you gonna fill me this makes me very uncomfortable I'm just kidding okay just tell me when I'll pose okay you ready you want like an in action like thinking pose oh oh it's the audience okay everybody else pose he's filming you okay Oh video so don't pose cuz that would be weird you know like when people are like take a picture and really it was on video the whole time and everybody's like you know talking about so there are ones giving class sorry okay okay I'm gonna get you I'm gonna get Danielle retell pretend you're not here so um okay where were we Shema yes the first two words of Shema are somalia Stroh thank you so much but I'm so self-conscious now because the comedian just came in Debbie right Debbie the comedian and now I can't make any jokes cuz she's funny and you know now everything I say is just a little funny and anyway okay so the first towards I've smashed my easter own Shema which means listen it's interesting most of the time you look in the see door and actually they listen it says here so why'd you say listen if you all said here that's interesting we'll talk about that another time hear hear o Israel now I don't know what the O is I don't know what that is about but here Israel we all hear things all the time we hear things and so many loves right now you're gonna get hear noise your phone ringing Oh child talking somebody's breathing somebody fell asleep in the back of the room there's like there's always noise we hear things all the time was it the cell phone thing I was I was just kidding no okay okay you couldn't hear me is that so out here when we say here you can hear things on so many that you can hear things superficially and that was the most important part of the class and if you missed that part of the class you really won't understand anything else just kidding just got on the government just joking I haven't even started so far I've said nothing of importance all right here we can hear things on a superficial we could hear things on a deep level you ever talk to your kids and you feel like you say them do you hear me and your kid says yes I hear you MA so but I feel like you're not listening right what was that little interaction do you hear me yes I hear you but I feel like you're not listening why do we say that because we recognize there's hearing and then there's listening there's really processing what's being said I work with couples sometimes and I see where I'll have a husband and wife sitting together wife will say I feel like you're not listening to me are you listening to me and he says yes I'm listening to you she's like it but I feel like you don't understand me you hear me I think you're listening to me but I think you don't understand me because we all know that there's hearing there's listening and then there's really understanding but it goes a level deeper than that because sometimes and I've had this experience others have I think space you go to the doctor doctor says you know you really have to stop drinking smoking eating red meat you have to start exercising or else thought thought thought thought thought thought thought right here's what's gonna happen and you go home and maybe it's a day or two before you're back to your regular routine what happened you heard it you listened you understood the doctor wasn't making a joke but you didn't internalize internalize is a level of hearing it as a depth of hearing where you hear it so deeply that it actually changes your life this is the level we gotta get to when we say the words shema yisrael what we're saying is listen to the following words hear it understand it and internalize it to the point that the following words will change your life shema yisrael hear it so deeply Shania shows like a stop sign when we say those tours it is like stopping your tracks don't say the next four words don't say them until you're fully ready to process the words that are about to come out Shema Israel stop sign when I'm a first move to Toronto I moved on to my block I was here for like a couple of hours I move on to my plant there's a few there's a few seats in the front if you want so I first moved to Toronto I'm on my block I see there's a was running out to minta that's what it was running at Dominica I was a little bit of rushing and it realized was a stop sign on the corner of my block I just moved on as like an hour or two before anyone stopped saying so like I make one of these rolling New York kind of rights you know I'm talking about and make it like a rolling right and this woman who come from other direction she goes she like yells at me and I'm like I'm sorry I just moved you from another country she's like stop me and stop in every country you know I'm like I love Canadians were nice when I move I'm Brooklyn like I said anyway so she my easterly's like stop it's a hard stop don't take another step don't say another word until you are fully ready to hear listen understand and internalize the words that you're about to say so let's get to the next two words which are hashem el okay no of course the most basic level when we say Hashem what we're saying we say God's name what we're saying is Hashem every day I want to hear listen and internalize and remind myself that there is a God in the world but not just that there's a Hashem up there not just that there's a god up there but L okay no he's actively he's our guy he's my God my god today this morning on November whatever today's day is Sunday morning sitting here he's mine he's involved in my life actively and lo que no and this content of a Chicago practice we have we've all heard of before right we've heard this idea Hashem is involved in my life but just because we hear it doesn't mean it changes our last we hear things all the time it was actually a story to tell us American guy arrives in Israel gets into a taxi cab and they start schmoozing so American guy says to the taxi driver said you need to see American guys says do what do you hear what's new so the israeli tax drug says a place as i I'll tell you an unbelievable story unbelievable he says yeah let me hear he says I have a friend he's also taxi driver just like me he's an a hug and he was driving in his taxi and all of a sudden you know cliche ha you know you know it says to Cle street they're hard you know which one it is so all of a sudden as he's driving the car flip over it's flip 19 time in the air it's land upside down and unbelief from her shell I tell you he was survived but he opened his eyes and he see 18 wheel of truck 18-wheeler truck is coming right for the taxi and he says I share my brother's boricuas shame dr. Bashar mind if you were to save my life I will become show milk shop but I'll become so extra buck policer and all of a sudden he sees the truck it's lift up in the air it's go over the cab it's land on the other side unbelievable you see miracle water sham did for him a shove now he is show me a Shabbat unbelievable you see what a sham does you see that unbelieving miracle the American guy says Wow you heard that story says yeah can I hear that story your friend Karen I heard this from my friend well so did you also become Samir Shabbat Annie no it happened to him not to me [Music] what happened what happened is he hears something and just because we hear it doesn't mean it changes our lies but we do this too we do this too we hear it we hear the words out of our mouths every day hashem elokenu hashem is our god he's involved in my life we say it every day but does it change us how many stories happen to us on a day-to-day basis and by the way there's hundreds every single day depends on how how wide your eyes are and how much you're listening in life to be able to see it I'll tell you a personal story I remember when I was in I was I was in 11th grade one summer I was working in a in an outreach camp in Big Bear California and we had a lot of downtime as counselors so myself and my friends decided what are we doing our free time there's like nothing to do you're out in the woods so we went out and we bought paintball guns and we figured we'll like shoot each other on our free time because when you're 17 that's what makes sense so we go out with my table and I was always frustrated because I never a lot of money and it wasn't like my parents were buying for me I was buying it for myself I bought my own paintball gun and mine was always a little bit broken like the co2 would always kind of come out when I was trying to fiddle and the rubber wasn't so tight and it was always frustrating for me and I kind of had that sort of why me why me why me feeling of all the people and then about a year later I finish high school I'm going off to Eric's Easter all I'm going to use Shiva to learn and they decided I wanted to sell a whole bunch of my things so that I'll have a little extra spending money so one of my friends says why don't you sell it on eBay I'm like it's a great idea I don't have a digital camera this is pre digital camera like where everybody had one right tells you how old I am so pre digital so my friend says you know what my father has one I think my father has one in his office he used it for work let me ask him so he asks his father as father says yeah I have one just go to my office here's the keys you guys can use it take a picture and do whatever you need to do Saturday morning we go to his office myself and three other friends the part of LA where his office building was was a pretty dangerous area wasn't like such a safe part of Los Angeles and I remember we pull up to the parking lot is a black spiky fence around the parking around around the building and usually there's someone there and lets you it lets the cars in but because it was Sunday was close we couldn't get in so we said look we have the keys to the building let's just jump over and then we'll you know we'll go in so we jump over the fence we go into the building we take the pictures of the gun now we're done my friends go outside we're leaving I'm wrapping this stuff up and I thought to myself only 17 you're 18 you know things like this I thought it was you know my friend who's in the parking lot his claim to fame was that he never ever gets shot in paintball so I'll put the last few paintballs in I'll put the co2 it I'll run outside and I'll shoot him because that's logical that's what makes sense at that age so I put I put the paintballs in I load it up I close the hopper I start putting the co2 and then co2 is like again it's it's kind it's all coming out and I'm trying to get it close I'm fiddling with it meantime while I'm fiddling with it he starts commenting sweet so you come outside so I go outside and as I walk out I look around the LAPD is all around waiting for the armed robbers to exit the building someone saw four men with a gun jump over a fence going through building now it took a couple minutes for us to know we have the keys and then a tie and it's just a paintball gun and they realized right and everyone put their guns down and it was fine but I thought to myself at the time by the way I'm like all I could think about was wow I hope my parents don't find out that was the only thing it wasn't too like years later that I started thinking back and I'm like you know what what would have happened if I didn't have the broken paintball gun what if that day I would have just come out running and shooting would I be here today to tell the story hashem elokenu hashem is our god he actively involved in our lives in every aspect and and I heard it I experienced it but I just didn't even get it I didn't see it because I have to be honest at that point in my life and I think many Jews today we kind of look at how Shem is like he's the big God up there he's up there does he really know what's going on in my marriage does he really know what's going on with my kid that wouldn't I keep the struggling in school does he really know that I myself I'm struggling with this or addiction or a certain anger promisin impatient and I'm trying does he really really know and does he really care or is he's just that big guy up there I think many of us believe that he's that he's the Hashem but not necessarily the L okay no on a day-to-day basis about two years ago my wife and I we were we were traveling from driving from Toronto to New York to visit my in-laws flying from New York to Florida to visit my parents flying from Florida back to New York and then driving from New York to Baltimore for my niece's bas Mitzvah and of course all that traveling with six kids something is bound to happen on the leg from from Florida back to New York we arrived in JFK and my son says meet ah when we get off the plank we take a picture with the pilot so of course as you know when you're coming off the plane you have lots of stuff when you're carrying like three kids like this and you have like all of it whatever last thing you want to do is like stop and like put everything I take a picture with the pilot you want to get off that plane so fine flight comes to an end we have all our stuff and I thought to myself if my son doesn't remember I'm not stopping so I have all my stuff with me and I start we start exiting we walked right by the pilot I'm like perfect you know get off the plane everybody forgot as we get off the plane the oncoming pilot who is about to turn the flight around and fly back is walking onto the plane so my sense is a big picture as of course take Invictus what I want to do right now so I put everything down and my kids stand there with the pilot and we little photo-op we take pictures fine leave the airport pack up the stuff and we start the drive from sorry and we drive to my in-laws as we're leaving I said why where's the hanging back with all the suits and the gallons for the bus myths for thousands of dollars in clothing and all I said where is that I realized we left it on the plane only Jews do that by the way it's great so uh he's left on the plane so I get home and like okay I called Delta they said oh just go online we have a forum I go online I fill out the form the forum says thank you so much for submitting your request for lost baggage will contact you within three weeks if we find it I'm like great that doesn't work for me so I call up JFK JFK says listen it could be that it's here in the JFK lost-and-found which is closed now but it also could be that they took it to our off-site warehouse oh my go okay so it's one of two options she said or it could be it's still on the plane I'm like Oh in which case it's gonna be in Florida I'm like oh and then it might be in there lost and found in their Airport I'm like oh she said but they also have a warehouse that's off-site so it might be in their warehouse oh my god it's not that narrows it down to like five places in two different states okay so we're good so then I thought to my wife I said we have to figure out at least is it on the New York side or the Florida side did it come off the plane or not and like there's got to be somebody we know on the plane you know how it is there'll be somebody we know who's on that flight we just ask them like is it on the plane or not so I'm thinking thinking a normal second the pilot and I pick up the pick up my phone and i zoom into his name badge and let's just call him Erik Johnson and I send an email with I first googled him trying to find we can find him anywhere Erik Johnson at gmail.com I send him the picture just randomly chose that emails are sent him a picture with of him and my kids I said I know this is gonna be weird but by any chance are you the pilot with my kids in this picture now I thought to myself honest to god there's Wi-Fi on the plane and it's autopilot I know all they're doing is checking their phone that's all they're doing up there within an hour the guy writes back yes and I think you left your bag on the plane I thought to myself is incredible how Hashem didn't want us to take a picture with our pilot because I wouldn't have helped us I want you to take a picture with the oncoming pilot but the muster the lesson I took out of it was oh my gosh how often life do we think the pilot is up there he's just the big pilot up there in the sky and does he have any idea what's going on with my baggage he has no idea but it was such a powerful lesson yes he does yeah he might be the pilot in the sky but he very well knows about my baggage he knows about every single aspect of my life and he's actively involved in every aspect of my life we say the words hashem shamrock hashem silkily a demon akiha hashem is your your bodyguard shamrock huh right a bodyguard walks at your side hashem silca he's your shadow your shadow goes with you everywhere you go he goes I'll Yad you made out huh on your right not any more of this big stuff God is up there he's somewhere else no no where I go he goes the shadow wherever he wherever I am he is my bodyguard by my side that's Hashem allocating when we say Shamala straw we are saying here listen internalize to the point that it changes your life every single day that you say the word I several okay no you remember every morning no matter what's going on that day he is involvement he is with me no matter where I go and when I close my eyes tonight regardless of what happened that day Hashem looking he is actively involved in every single thing that happened today for good or for bad he's there but where does the tranquility come from what is the tranquility to come so I say that if we bring our Schemmel okay new if we live this aspect that he's actively involved if we really believe that we're like a baby and a parent's arms that's what we're like and he's pulling the strings and he's orchestrating every aspect so shouldn't we feel a little bit of Manuka so nephesh shouldn't we feel tranquil I am taken care of and there is nothing bad that could happen to me unless God wants it and he only wants what's best for me so I'll be okay no matter what you know why we don't feel that because I think we believe Hashem Alok anus I think to some degree we believe he's involved in our lives I think we struggle with the last two words Hashem Akkad we struggle with believing that there's one God let me explain what I mean I don't think there's anyone here that believes there's two gods if there are please speak to some other rabbi about that but there's a Gemara the Talmud teaches in moussaka Shabbos cook hey I'm at bays 105 be tomorrow says that when a person gets angry and they're furious and they start ripping their clothing and they're mad and they're like the breaking things on the floor and they're throwing something that person you beignet huh it should be like in your eyes like that person over there boy bizarre like he's worshipping idols Wow worshipping idols why says the Gemara because if the eights are hurry off the evil inclination can get can get you to lose your mind today and be so crazy I'm it's your anger who knows what he's gonna get you to do tomorrow who knows where this could lead but there's another idea here do you know why else it's like over it like like idol worship when you get angry because at that moment at that moment when you're stuck in traffic and you missed your flight when all of a sudden the start stock market crashes when all of a sudden something happens God when you hear about an illness in that moment yeah back in your mind you think I shot my car there's one God and yeah he probably is the one doing this probably but in my in this moment I am so mad and yeah that's probably what you think but let me tell you what I think life shouldn't go this way it shouldn't be this way I should be healthier I should be wealthier I should be happier these are this is how life should be and I understand in the back of my mind Hashem éclairs wonder God and you probably want this to happen but let me tell you what I think because I'm angry in that moment of rage yeah there's one guy but here's the other God yeah I believe God probably wants this to happen but I'm not okay with it because I don't think this is how it should happen I believe things should be different I know better in this moment when I have people come to me doesn't matter exactly what the struggle is that they're facing tragedy that comes up in their life there's often three stages in psychology that people go through the first stage when they're facing a tragedy is is denial usually it's hard for people to kind of come to terms with the fact that this thing is happening I can't believe this person is really sick I can't believe I'm going through this divorce I can't believe my kids I can't believe my business right it's denial they don't even they don't even really accept it the second stage once they begin to realize that this is the reality is what's happening is usually anger anger or anger turned inwards right depression sadness but it's some form of anger that's the second stage then there's the third stage thank you very much that was good then there's a third stage the third stage I want to tell you what it is through a little story so there's a guy in my community years ago many years ago very very wealthy person hundreds of millions of dollars very philanthropic a really good person and he asked to meet with me once to have coffee we sit down you start talking and I could see just looking at his face that something was really bothering him so we're having a little small talk at the beginning and then I see him start to clenched his teeth clenching his teeth see I could see his jaw tightening up and then his eyes start filling up with tears he didn't say a word yet he's clenching his teeth I tears start rolling down his cheeks now look hey guys so what's up he starts to tell me the story of how there's this person who is just jealous simply jealous of him and has decided they are going to ruin his life and his marriage and his reputation simply out of jealousy and he said the person is ruining my life I'm in my 60s I spent my whole life building shules schools hospitals charity helping people I'm a good person I've spent my whole life only doing cresset only trying to be the best I can and this is what I get in return and he looks at me he says this is not how it should be it should be different life shouldn't be this way and he was crying his tears were coming out he was so mad he was so mad and he looked at him and I said once you start coming I said so you're angry he said yeah I'm angry I said you're angry because because this person is trying to ruin your life I see says yes I said then you've done everything you can to stop and he says yes I've done everything I said and you can't do anything about it he says no I can't and I said so you're fighting this thing anyway even though it's happening to you and there's nothing you could do he says yes I said so you're fighting something that you can't do anything about and he says yeah I said you realize this is happening to you you've done everything you can and there's no more that you can do to stop this I said my friend you need to get to the third stage which is acceptance when you get to the point where you've done everything you could when you realize the illness or the business or whatever it is is just out of your control at this point and you can either fight it or you can embrace it Ashima hud-1 God means there's one god who's doing all this and I can either fight it and say you're wrong life shouldn't be this way it should be different I should be healthier wealthier happier or I couldn't embrace it after I've done everything I can acceptance or stay in the stage of anger it was a a little parody that it was actually no it's a true story true story this guy was uh with a bunch of friends and his friends said what do you say we go skydiving so he really was scared he's scared of heights he's scared but his friends were all like yeah yeah let's do it let's do a very manly let's do it let's jump let's go so they decided they're gonna call a place they call the place they booked it for the next day that they're gonna jump out of a plane now he's so scared the whole night he's petrified he couldn't sleep that night before his heart is beating his anxiousness of palms are sweaty come to the next morning he didn't sleep all night he they show up at the airstrip and he looks at the plane there's hearts like he wants to just back out but nobody's backing out so he gets on the plane and they put on the parachute and the whole thing the plane starts taking off and it's going up and he's now he's that he's hardy said I could see my heart like like pounding out of my chest I was so nervous he said finally it came my time to jump he's and the whole time I'm fighting Alec no no I'm not gonna do this we're not I'm not doing and I'm fighting a fighting I'm not doing other things my heart was racing my stomach was in knots my head my palms were sweaty I was so anxious I was so nervous I was so worried he said open they said okay get up to the edge I said my my toes were over the edge of the plane I'm looking down into the clouds he said my hands are like on the edges of the plane they said okay on three you're gonna jump one two he says and on two they pushed me out because they know that three I'm gonna hold on on two they push him out he says all of a sudden the moment he went out of that plane he felt the ultimate bliss totally calm totally relaxed why because at that moment he realized it was completely out of his control and he could either continue to fight it or embrace and accept it this is life this is life how much of life is out of our control we can either hashem echad there's one god he's doing this I love him he loves me and I'm gonna embrace and accept it or I'm gonna fight it I'm gonna fight it you know where we see this this week's partial lat all right last week's parsha and the partial before that right Abram and Sarah there told Abraham and Sarah they're told they're gonna have children Sarah hears that she's gonna have a child and in her 90s what happens she laughs haha she laughs and what happens God turns to to her husband and says what's going on why is your wife laughing right she's reprimanded for laughing Avraham though a partial before also was told he's gonna have a child in his 90s and he also laughs but nobody reprimands him why and if you look at home plus one of the classic commentators on the Torah okhla says he he translates the laughter that's hook by Avraham by Sarah very different by Sarah that's hokey transit as keel which is like ten feet look like smile just laughing laughing at it like like come on it's like Sarah looked at it she's like come on hello I'm in my 90s like not having a kid anytime soon right I know how life is gonna be I know how it's gonna play out and trust me that's not a part of it Avraham hears it he laughs and uncle o says kadhi kadhi is a laughter like hedva the word Cod means one at HUD cuz Alfre hum heard it and he was one with it yeah didn't quite fit into the wheelhouse of kind of what he thought was gonna happen in his 90s it didn't fit into how he sees life playing out at this point but it didn't matter because either he could fight it or he could be a hard he could be one with it he could embrace it and Avraham embraces it and so he laughs with life because what are you gonna do it's happening to be famous famous psychologist Viktor Frankl you've heard of him Viktor Frankl when before the Holocaust he was working on a massive manuscript he had this big life plan of being a this big big psychologist and he worked on this life manuscript everything that he all the ideas here to come up with everything he was working on was all in that manuscript and he kept it with him all the time and then comes the Holocaust and he's deported to Auschwitz he says when he showed up to Auschwitz he kept - they took his belongings but he was wearing his clothes and he kept his manuscript with him his life work everything that he knew of how life is gonna play out all of his plans all the expectations was in that manuscript this is how life should be he gets to Auschwitz and they make him take off his clothes and put on a prisoner's uniform he said they took my manuscript my life work how life should be and they gave me printers prisoners garb he said I put my hands into the pockets of these of this uniform that a previous a previous Jew was wearing before they were gassed he said and there was a piece of paper in the pocket he pulled it out it was a page that had been ripped out of a sitter it was Shema I look at this story and I'm like this is Hashem saying here's how you think life should be let me take that from you and let me give you this because here is how life is going to go and you could either fight it or embrace it a very hard concept but we all know Victor Franko one of his famous lines he says between stimulus and response lies your choice in that choice lies your freedom between stimulus and response Liza's choice in that choice lies your freedom my friends we all have that choice accept it embrace it or fight it are there two gods the way he wants it and then the way I think life should go or is there one guy so many things in our lives aren't going the way we think they should go we all have expectations of how life should be if I turn to you right now and I said tell me something in your life that you think should be different how you think life should have played out everybody will have something and that tension that creates frustration anger sadness it's not the way I think it should be a shanna HUD we begin to embrace the life were given and not try to fight it with the life we want I'll tell you when I say the words Shema Israel it means something very special to me and I'll tell you why in a second but shamaya Sorel to sort of wrap it up here o Israel what we're saying is hear it listen to it understand it and internalize the following four words to the point that it changes your life every single day what should change hashem l okay no you are my shadow you are my bodyguard you are involved in every aspect of my life so much so and that's so real to me in my mind in my life that i scheme' HUD that no matter what happens I embrace everything when I say the words to my Easter al-sham look in her eye maja to tell you a story that comes to mind for me about seven years ago I made mentions this yesterday one of my talks around seven years ago one of my daughters she was born she was born relatively healthy but six weeks after she was born one night my wife and I looked at her and we saw that she was a bit lethargic so we brought her to the hospital and we thought it was nothing just but just to be safe when we get there they take her vitals they didn't even ask me my name they just said go in now and I'm like okay and I run in with this baby I hear over the loudspeaker code blue or whatever the code was for for a baby it's a special code just for an infant that's dying and I I run in with this with my child they send me into this room all of a sudden doctors are running from everywhere into this room they put her down on the table and they're trying to get a line IV line she was so dehydrated at that point but but but they could they couldn't even get an IV you could even get a line what happened was she had a virus she contracted a virus and the virus had gone into her bloodstream and had gone to her heart and it she had heart failure um and and it started shutting down all of her organs Sushil her body was in septic shock and this happens very quickly with a tiny baby and you can't even tell because they're just sleeping they don't even know and so I run in I'm looking at my child and all of a sudden the doctors are packing in there's almost like no room free and I'm trying to like just stand by her side just look around and I don't handle these things well my I feel my legs starting to get weak and I'm I'm like I'm sort of holding onto the bed looking down at my daughter and they intubate her they put this tube down her throat so that the search she can breathe and I'm looking at her I'm just staring down in her and her eyes were open so wide I've never I'll never in my life ever remember them being open so her eyes were open so wide and she's staring at me can't say a word can't say anything can't even cry because this thing is down her throat and she's looking at me with these big brown eyes with this look of almost like Tati daddy get me out of here what are you letting them do to me and it was like this look of like helplessness like please get me out of here please and that's maybe I was just reading it to this as the father who was like who is in pain but I'm looking in her eyes and I felt so bad I felt so bad and I'm sorry I'm sorry to fall apart the doctors say come come and one of them takes me out and takes me outside and I just felt so about leaving her that I was that I was in so much pain even now just thinking about the story but i but I they took me outside and I remember I was leaning up against the wall limp against the wall and I would just started bawling and started crying I'm just crying and crying and crying as I heard all the doctors working on her and tears are rolling down my face and I'm behind the door and by the way just so you know thank god she's okay today but as I'm standing back behind that door I was thinking to myself I wish I could tell her right now that I didn't leave her I wish I could tell her that I didn't leave her and that I'm right here and then I'm right behind the door and that even though she can't see me right now I haven't gone anywhere I'm just I'm just right behind the door just no I didn't leave you please and I love you and I know what's going on and I'm involved and I'm right here and I'm telling you I didn't walk away I'm right behind the door I wanted her to know that that's what I was thinking at that moment and I think to myself when we say Shanna we are that baby we cover our eyes I don't see you Totti daddy God I don't see you it's dark but it's our expression that's somewhere behind my hand somewhere behind this darkness I know that you're right behind that door and I know that there are tears rolling down your face as well as you cry for whatever's going on in my life and I know that you love me and I know that you didn't leave me shema yisrael here on the deepest level hashem elokenu hashem is involved in our lives hashem at HUD to embrace the lives that were given and to bring a little bit more tranquility into all of our lives thank you so much [Applause] what's that - too early in the morning I know I know the feeling I know the feeling makes me cry also amazing so acceptance is I mean I know the answer it's not to be complacent I mean acceptance it's only after you've done everything you possibly [Applause]