Rabbi Shraga Freedman's new "Living Kiddush Hashem" from ArtScroll featured on today's JM in the AM

Rabbi Shraa Freriedman is with us live via telephone. Rabbi Freriedman has written extensively on the topic of kdush hashem. You might recall his works living kesush hashem and a life worth living. Uh he has a brand new book and I'm recommending everyone go to artcroll artscroll.com. Make sure to use promo code radio when you order the brand new one. Rabbi Shraa Freriedman, Living Kush Hashem from the Inside Out. Rabbi Freeman is with us live via telephone. Rabbi Shraa Freeman, a pleasure to welcome you to JM in the AM. >> It's wonderful to be here. Thank you for having me. >> I appreciate that. Mazalto on the book. And I'm going to start with this. I don't know if you agree with me or not. Your book could start on page 434. What do I mean? You have an a brilliant an absolutely brilliant appendix to the book. And how unusual for someone like me to start at the end of the book. You have an amazing appendix with a practical guide about how people should keep in mind. I don't want to, God forbid, suggest that we demand they behave a certain way, but at the minimum we could say people need to keep in mind that their behavior is under scrutiny in every arena possible. In business, while driving, during conflict, while vacationing. Good time of year to discuss that. while on a plane, while shopping, um when they're part of a summer camp, specific things that happen on Purum and Pesak. So, uh Rabbi Freeman, I'm going to start by saying yesak first for the appendix that appears at the end of the book. >> Oh, yes. That's very close to my heart. The the appendix, the practical, very very very practical tips and strategies of how they you know, the Jewish people are explosive. Yeah, >> you we're growing like crazy. Um, and we're all over the place. I was just actually in the Poconos and I found out about a minion, 150 guys packing into this learning center, this Jewish learning center in the middle of the Poconos. I I couldn't believe it. But, um, we're so big, we're so large, and um, we're all over the place. So wherever we go, we're we're kind of uh clashing with different cultures and we're so different and so we have to have that extra sensitivity about what's what's the darits of this place, what's what's the etiquette, what's the what's the norms? um these sensitivities the zahir of kashem is really really integral >> and um as you just pointed out there are you know even beyond the poconos anywhere you travel let's say for example in this country there's so many vacation spots so many interesting tourist attractions that people actually want to see or experience at some point in their lives and if you go and travel the country now in the month of August you're going to see a whole bunch of you know people who are noticeably Jewish who are taking those tours rightfully so. And as you point out, there's a certain expectation, a certain uh um a certain guideline that they that we must adhere to when we're on the road and in situations like that. And often it seems I don't know if you I don't know if you agree with this or not, but um it seems to me very often when one is an individual or maybe in a small group, they're able to pay more attention to those matters. And once the group gets very large or one's neighborhood or community really expands, I think a lot of those uh you know, a lot of those alerts and warnings sort of fall by the wayside. You agree with that assessment? I >> I definitely hear that. um you know, we're we're also very very sheltered and when we're we're in that bubble. Um we we have our own communities, we have our own infrastructure. So we we get very wrapped up in our own world and we don't uh really open ourselves up and recognize and it's it's a difficult balance. I I should tell you I mean this is >> this is a tough balance to walk to to stay separate to stay sheltered to watch out for the influences and yet uh stay sensitive and stick and cover respect for others it's a very very difficult balance and I think that this this mission of Shamayim is really um creates that sensitivity and that that broadness that we have to see outside of ourselves. We're not just here for ourselves. We're here for the whole world. The world's not here for us. We're here for the world really as mikashi hashem as reflections as ambassadors of hashem. >> And by the way, you point out mission. I was I I only became aware of this when I picked up your book publications and the school and yeshiva and camp curricula and emails and WhatsApp groups and practical guides and synagogue bulletins and video resources. I mean, you're behind a whole bunch of initiatives to really get people to think about this. Yeah. No, really. I I mean it blew my mind. I I couldn't believe um the the mission of Keshai that I I I actually missed it. I I went I went to the mainstream Yeshivas um throughout the years >> meaning in the New York area I assume. >> Uh no actually you know was out of town. I'm out of towner and it went through you know the the mainstream. She was there to then back to BMG to Lakewood and uh and then I heard from Mat Salon Mashia from Lakewood and he gave a series of talks about how it's not just a mitzvah. I always I knew it was a mitzvah. I knew that it was a it was a very important mitzvah. I always understood that. But um brought out that it's the it's the mission of the whole Jewish people. It's the purpose of everything that we do. Ally mitzvah add up to kes shamay different quotes and it it it and I couldn't believe it. How did I go through all these years and somehow missed the the ultimate mission of everything that we do? >> So it was astounding to me. That's really what got me on this journey. >> Yeah. There are people listening right now who are thinking only an out oftowner could have written this book by the way. But but I'm sure you've heard that from others. by Sha Freeman is with us live via telephone. We're highly recommending the book from Arts Scroll, Living Kiddesh Hashem from the Inside Out. And we'll ask you about the title in a minute, but you just mentioned something in terms of what our purpose is here, etc. And I mean the reading reading the book you get the feeling that it's one of the priorities of Kavay, the one above Akar. It's literally a priority that his people represent him properly. So, it's not just a mission or a way to, you know, to to, you know, give people, it's not just avoiding the possibility of people um um thinking of excuses or reasons not to like us, etc. And, you know, but you're literally representing God and and you have sources that that show us that encourage us to understand what type of representative what type of representation we need to give him, >> right? And it it's not about just impressing >> others and and winning acceptance and approval. That's not what it's about. It's like you said, it's reflecting God. It's bringing down godliness into the world. It's showing it's it's being a representative of the rut and hem of the will of God, not our own and not what the society wants to see. Um, so it's it's reflections. It's a reflection of God in every single way. It's funny because as I'm reading your book, I'm saying to myself, you know, the old camp thing, you know, we're going on a trip and everybody, you know, we're representing the camp, representing the Jewish people, etc., etc. It really is an important message. The thing is, though, it goes beyond that. It's not just that. It's also understanding that's an absolute priority of of the one above. >> Yes. You know, it's it's indoors. And that that gets into the title of the book, From the Inside Out. >> Ah, yes. Tell us about the title. >> Yeah. from the inside out. What I what I recognized over the years, you know, the first two books are are very powerful, powerful, it connects all the different mitzvah and all the different aspects of how all the mitzvah even the you know the things that don't even make sense to us somehow add up to. So I go through that um living condition from the inside out um kind of captures how the the mid the the midas within the midas the emotions of compassion and kindness and honesty how they're so powerful and they're so powerful within our own families within our own circles within our own homes when we interact with that compassion that love that the mid of Hashem, it empowers others. Um they it resonates within them. So there's a there's a there's a powerful concept that really our are our you know we all talk about seeing the salim in others, >> seeing our own salomikim and and recognizing it in others. And it sounds kind of abstract salim. What's the salim? What is that? What's this spark of God? Right. >> Um but what I've discovered and I've seen in this many different places is that on a very simple level that carries the midas of Hashem. So within every single individual we have within us innately inherently is these midas of and I believe that that's why it's so universal. Wherever you go, you're traveling, you're going into other countries, these midas are valued, they're respected, they resonate, they're they they have a certain magnetic force. I mean, you know, think about honesty. >> You know, if someone shows honesty, these are universal values. And I believe they're universal values because they're they're inside. Every single human being has these qualities because they're >> Yeah. So if we if we bring that out from within ourselves right so others see that others are attracted to it and it draws out their mother draws out their and the world becomes filled with the >> one of the most important parts of your book in my opinion is people don't always realize that the honesty and the business dealings are probably again you didn't rank them but based on the reading are probably among the most important kesh Hashem categories out there. >> I think you're right about that. They're on the front lines, the business people. I I remember hearing from Solomon, he says he says that's one of the reasons why we have to go out and work, you know, in society is in order to we're in gulos. We're we're all over the place. And this is their really their first introduction to you know, the rats in Hashem, the midas of Hashem, what what God wants is when they see a Jewish p person in the business world. >> 100%. And again, the larger our community gets or or specific neighborhoods and communities get, sometimes that makes things in that area even more difficult. So again, we've got to look within not only ourselves but inside our own communities and uh and understand that that has to be a priority. Yeah, I remember if Matio was speaking about the driving >> in the in in Lakewood. I remember him telling us I mean this was this was one of those things that like kind of shook me. Um you know he says you're racing to get to the base medish um and you to find that parking spot to get to Seder on time. He says you have to connect the dots. He says what are we doing this for? We're going to spend the next 4 hours on the greatest mitzvah. He says for what purpose like it's the greatest tool in being the we have to connect the dots. We have to see we have to have that vision of where is this headed. So if in the few minutes that you're outside you're driving you're driving aggressively cutting people off you're honking your horn. So he says he could he could ruin it. You could ruin you know people what are people saying you know about his this is what they see. And he says, "So if you're if you're going to learn, you have to keep this in mind that the Tyra is for Shayim." And so the few minutes that you're outdoors, you have to you have to be very focused. And he said he said something incredible really which which stays with me. He said this is why it's very very simple. says whole is to create someone who lives by the who's and if you don't have that foundation of it could it could be ruined. So he really bridged these two things which I find that this whole this whole uh mission of Keshay brings these two together the you know the learning the kadusha and it brings it with the it's a package deal you can't really succeed in this mission one without the others. I think that was very powerful to me. Yeah, 100%. And boy, we've become I don't want to say become because I wasn't an eyewitness to prior generations, but it's it feels like we've become very weak in that area. It just feels like it it we need a lot of work in that area. I'm speaking to myself as well. We just need a lot of work in that area. >> Yeah. So, so important. I mean I I to me in my mind paladas um was such a a model kineski is such a model of of how to walk how to how to talk how to interact with kids. Can I share one quick story about >> course of course >> okay um I heard this >> whose yard I think was very recently. >> Oh really? >> Yeah I think it was in the last couple of days. My uncle is is pal's son right so I was years and years ago when I was a bak to to eat to have suda by by pal so beautiful so Smith shared this story he said that there was a big that they were doing invadas and they they put up u posters in those days posters was a little bit unique it wasn't all you know all over the place there were posters up in the community and they put up that beautiful picture of R pal with his big smile and uh and advertising. So the revitson palm's wife um noticed it and she was like very very upset like she felt that it wasn't right in the community to put up the posters that people are going to are not going to be happy with posters all over the polls in the you know in the neighborhood. And so she went out she went out to take the poster down um that which was right by her house and she noticed it was taken down already and she walked over to her neighbor's house as a you know non-Jewish neighbor and she knocked on the door and she she she said I apologize they put these posters up of my husband you know all over the streets. I apologize um but it it was taken down right. So the neighbor says, "I I actually took down Rif Palm's poster because we we we see him every day. He greets us. He says, "Good morning to us." He has that beautiful smile. We wanted a picture of him on our living room wall. And so we took it and we posted it. Um's name is so incredible. >> I not not to sidetrack, but because you mentioned it, I I had the opportunity to visit Rafom and his Rebbitson once in their home. I mean, you were there. You you could describe the type of modest home it was and uh the >> humility. >> Yeah. You felt the humility just sitting there um because of what surrounded you and it was not much that surrounded you. And I have to say something else. you just mentioned Rabul and uh um and other gdollan there is you know it's funny that when we often cite those who are really good in these in this area keshm interacting with others Jew non-Jew it's amazing that they they are usually very calm and and and more peaceful personalities you know what I mean by that like they have a certain calm about them that makes them you know very attractive to others frankly And I think that that's also a you know that's also you know we always talk about that CAS is terrible and you know and keeping control is is obviously much better in so many areas of Jewish life and so many areas of life in general whether it's at home or outside the house and and just look at these role models that you're citing they they had it they had that uh that factor yeah and you know nowadays the fast pace >> and you know the the running and the racing makes it very very difficult to stay kind of mindful and and you know watch your surroundings and be aware you know it does take it does take a lot of awareness to be to be present with people and to be sensitive and to be thinking about others you know that's one of I think the one of the biggest things about this this mission of keshayun is that it it really puts on our minds that we have to think about others around us um you know a lot of rebay have told me that that really this they feel is the biggest piece is that you know for the for the schools you know the kids are very you know especially kids adolesccents and teens very wrapped up in themselves you know that's how their mind works in those years >> and to broaden them that that wait you're you're here to make a difference you're here to and and and we have to be sensitive about how we're affecting others whether our classmates or others outside the school wherever it might be but that we have to take others into consideration we're not just here for ourselves it's a it's a that's a big deal you know really at the end of the book you pointed out the appendix. I was hoping that that you would see the the muscle of the crew and the passengers. It's right before chapter 27. >> Yeah. Um there's a there's a whole incredible analogy which I think captures and I I encourage all the all the listeners um to take a look at this this this muscle of the crew and the passengers because it really captures the different components and the balance and of what sham is because it's a complex topic but the basic idea I'll give you the basic idea um is that the this is from Khan and I heard it from foyer and the name of Khan And I don't think it's in print and I didn't find it in in print from but he said over that the have 613 mitzvah have seven. He says because the Jewish people are like the crew of a ship. They're driving the ship to special destination. They have a complex job. They come in with maps and instructions and thick manuals of how to drive this ship. the the the passengers are like the um they're coming with the basic rules, law and order. They're being brought along destination. Yeah. Yeah. No fighting on board or boring holes and no jumping ship, you know, stay on board, keep the ship intact. >> Um and so there's a few basic rules, but the Jewish people have this complex job. So the crew, if you think about it, they they dress differently. They entertain themselves differently, right? >> They don't they don't hang out with the passengers and they don't they're not they're not mingling with the passengers, but yet they're they're respectful when they're passing by, right? There's they're they know that the passengers are part of their role and they have to bring not just themselves to the destination. going to have to bring the whole boatload of passengers to this destination of Shayim of Msiah of Mahashem that the world will be filled with the knowledge of Hashem. So it really captures and we have our curriculum based on this on this muscle because if you think about it you know our relationship um amongst ourselves the crew amongst each other right there's a higher level of responsibility towards our family towards the Jewish people towards other Jews um where we find you know there's there's a more proactive approach when it comes to Jew to Jew um in all the different you know you know so there's a higher level responsibility because the crew has to make sure that everyone's doing their job everyone has a different job and they're taking care of each other um and when it comes to the passengers there's there's there's this balance between being different we live differently we're dressed differently but yet there's respect and there's covered abrias there's there's a plan for the passengers too we're not just sailors is driving ourselves to destination. Anyone in the way, get out of the way, we're plowing through, right? We have there's a certain sensitivity with the passengers. But if the passengers um kind of try to convince the crew, we want to we want to go in a different direction. Let's go to that island. Let's steer to that or come with us. Come, you know, come to the bar. Let's just have a drink together. Let's let's slow down. Right? The the crew has to stand strong. It's part of keshm also is standing strong to the even sometimes in the face of opposition of reflecting hashem's we're going to specific destination to reflect godliness in the world. So I think it captures a lot of the different balances and and and roles that we have and responsibilities of who we are. >> You know what I enjoyed and I know we're running out of time but I got to mention this the story you tell about Rabbi Waxman on the plane you know with the shear that had to be downloaded. Do you remember that story? Oh yes. >> So in that story, by the way, the person who helps him out um essentially, you know, gets to the point where he says to Rabbi Waxman, I want to be part of your mitzvah. I want to, you know, I want to participate in this. You know, whatever you're doing, I want to be part of it. But what got what got it to that point? What got it to that point is that Roy Waxman continued to say, if I read the story correctly, to say, "I don't want to bother you and it's it's difficult. old news. I don't want you to pay for the Wi-Fi in order to do this favor for me, etc., etc. Like, there was a certain humility and and attitude where, you know, where if, god forbid, in a situation like that, one, you know, would demand something from their neighbor on a plane, they would they would push back and they'd feel resentment toward it. But when dealt with in a bodic manner, in a respectful manner, look at the way they reacted. >> It's so simple. It is so simple and so powerful and uh it it impacts and imp really really really so close and these small interactions everyone everyone could do it you know we don't have to be a godo we don't have to be a professional kov guy everyone could do it um I do want to say to the to the listeners that um feel free that we have we have a lot of free materials we have a lot of uh free videos on our website um I I send out a free file of the safer nikachi shah which has the Hebrew safer and also a 30-day booklet of stories um that are powerful especially for this time of year you know if you look at the it's all about um it's all about that we're deting and we're aligning ourselves with um with the with the hope that the whole world will see the truth and that comes that comes for us asking for forgiveness. >> That's right. Exactly. Exactly. We have to align ourselves. Let's get ourselves really focused on what we're here for. >> What's the website? Where do people go? >> So, living.org. LivingKishem.org. And they could email me at livingkishemaggmail.com. And they, you know, they could, you know, free safer, free book. I I'll send them the files um and they'll see where where to go. And I just have to recommend whether it's at the Shabas table or just sitting around on a Friday night at home after the meal, take the appendix in this book, living condition from the inside out, and just go over it with your children and grandchildren. Everybody, I'm telling you, it is valuable, very valuable, and a very good use of time just to go through all the suggestions that Freeman has in all these different situations. Sometimes all you have to do is just make people aware of stuff. Like we complain when members of our community don't clean up after being in a park or after being at a rest stop. Sometimes they just have to be told. Sometimes they just don't know. They're not used to it. They don't go traveling a lot and they don't they don't understand that things operate differently in the real world than one's own home. Uh not that I'm suggesting one one should not clean up in their own home, but you know what I'm saying. I'm giving one example. Anyway, uh it's a 450 page book. Very valuable. Every page those might be the most valuable of all of them. Living Kadeshm from the inside out. It's an artscroll book at artscroll.com. Rabbi Shraaf Freriedman. Make sure to use promo code radio when you check it out at artscroll.com. Again, living kadeshm from the inside out. Rabbi Shraaf Friedman. Make sure to use promo code radio when you visit artscroll.com. Rabb Freeman, I thank you for the book. It's really amazing. I wish you mazletov on it. Uh must have been a tremendous amount of work. And I take this opportunity to wish you a shaata a wonderful happy, healthy, and sweet new year. Thank you so much to you as well. Thank you. >> Appreciate that. More coming up. 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