Rabbi Shmuel Reichman : Elul Finding Your Unique Place and Purpose

so we're going to delve into some amazingly deep ideas tonight but i want to start off with the story the story is of a man who goes to war and he fights in a war and he does his service and he's about to come home calls up his parents and he tells his parents listen it's been a couple years finished my duty finished my service i'm coming home his parents say that's so great if we're looking forward we're gonna throw a party it's gonna be amazing when you're coming home you say they're coming home tomorrow they're looking forward he says i just have a friend and i want to know if i can bring this friend home with me and my parents of course you can bring anyone with you were just excited to see you he said i just want to let you know that this friend of mine he is missing an arm he had an arm amputated something happened while he was at war he's missing an arm parents look at each other and they say that's okay you can still bring him you can still bring your friend and he says i just want to let you know that this friend of mine he's missing a leg his leg also got amputated and he has a lot of disfiguration on his face is it okay if i still bring him his parents talk about it think about say you know we have your little sister and she's not so old i don't know if she's gonna be able to deal with that is it okay if you don't bring this friend so the son said of course sure next day they go to meet him at the airport and all the soldiers come off the plane and they're waiting they don't see him they don't see him they go over to the officer and they say we're looking for a son do you know if he missed the flight or we we just don't see him anywhere and just then they see a casket being pulled off the airplane the office the officer says that you didn't hear you didn't hear what what do you mean where's our son the officer points to the casket and says your son committed suicide yesterday and he's in that casket parents can't believe it they realize what happened of course is that he wasn't making that phone call about a friend he was making the phone call about himself and they start crying and they start saying to themselves oh my gosh if he would have only framed it or phrased it as i don't have an arm i don't have a leg i'm disfigured of course we have taken of course there's always a place for you you you're a son you're a child there's always a place for a child and we're coming to hell we're in hell we're heading towards rosh hashanah and so many people they don't feel worthy they don't feel worthy of connecting to hashem they don't feel worthy of becoming great they don't feel worthy of connecting to a higher form of their own self they don't realize that also our father and there's always a place for a child and this idea is a beautiful idea and it's also a profoundly deep idea and what i want to do today is i want to go way deeper than the beautiful theoretically fluffy idea of hashem loves you because everyone will will have different reactions than ideas some who are more emotionally tuned will connect with the idea but those who are intellectuals or those who are looking for something more they want more than just hashem loves you what does that mean what does that mean that there's always a place for you that kashmir who loves you what does that mean that the l is a place for you to connect asha so what i do is i want to go deep i want to go really deep and i want to go so deep that this is probably going to be a long share i will tell you that this is going to be a launcher and you're probably going to need to listen to the recording at least once because there are different types of share they're sharing which ask a question develop an idea say you know five to seven different stories or little nuggets and then close up and then there are shirim which are just disorganized thoughts just ideas and then there are shirum which go deep and build spider webs where you have a question that opens up into an idea which connects into sub ideas and connects into the inner infrastructure of deeper torah thought deeper towards deeper wisdom and when it comes to something so fundamental and so root sometimes we need to say okay the normal normal format of a 45 minute shear that develops something beautiful and then just says goodbye that's not enough we're going to go deeper and i will tell you that the way that i used to listen to shurim of course i still do but the way that i start to build my own inner dos my own inner framework of torah consciousness is when listening to a shear which is a real shear where every single word is meaningful and substantive and thought out and everything interconnects with everything else a one-hour share can turn into an eight hour or 20 hours here because i would listen to every single sentence pause break it down interconnected with everything else i know continue break that down and you start to realize what a true shear is it's not just sharing ideas but everything is interconnected everything is developmental everything connects to everything else and when you find a torah thinker that does that you want to start breaking everything else down into its components and interconnecting with everything else so everything here is part of something bigger and obviously can interconnect with all the other shear that we're giving but everything in this year is part of different aspects interconnect with everything else and this year so to truly truly appreciate this year take notes listen to it again and start to do that in your own mind start to build interconnectivity start to build oneness start to intertwine everything you know with everything else you know if you have any contradictions confront that and either reject something that doesn't make sense or refine and qualify something that you realize because of two principles that don't seem to connect you need to intertwine synthesize and create a more holistic understanding of those ideas so that they can co-exist within yourself without that inner contradiction and there's a great idea that the opposite of truth is sheker but the opposite of a great truth is a great truth and i like to think of it as the opposite of a great truth as a great truth but when you put those opposites together you get a greater truth which we've talked about before is to fairest oneness of different truths but if you want to go from listening to shirim to becoming torah to thinking in torah to living torah then you have to go from passive listening to active listening which means both being a passive listener but then actively being kona actively acquiring that torah writing it down thinking about it contemplating it talking about it and getting to stage where that torah becomes you so after this after this little introduction let's delve in so last time we talked about some amazing ideas when it came to ello when came to chauffeur and i realized after you know thinking about it that we never really answered one of the questions i posed which is why the rambam holds that a stolen chauffeur is still kosher for the mitzvah you can still be making you can still fulfill the mitsubishi over with the stone show for which it doesn't make sense you can't it's usually a problem of mitzvah babavera you can't use something which was done forever for mitzvah so i never actually came back and answered that question and i wanted to just put on the record and the answer is pretty obvious if you listen to this year which is that the mitzvah of chauffeur is all about the coal it's that which is infinite which transcends the physical vessel of the chauffeur so it's quite obvious that even if the chauffeur is stolen you can still fulfill the mitzvot because it's all about that with transcendent ethereal coal beyond the physical vessel of the chauffeur and many of you probably thought that the answer was obvious because you listened to the share or perhaps you thought that the answer was beyond words a true call chauffeur but just in case i wanted to make sure we got on the record but it actually brings us forward because we're going to continue some of the ideas from last week's share because last week we started to develop some ideas of l what makes ellis so unique talked about how it's a unique time of connecting to hashem but you don't have to have listened to last week's year to fully appreciate this year but i would say to beyond fully appreciate the issue to get to a deeper level every aspect of tory interconnect so obviously if you listen to last week's share an ellen show for this week's share we'll take it a step further if you didn't listen last week's year you can listen to it a different time but we mentioned some of the interesting well-known hints that chazal and the bichon and they bring to bring out hints and torah that that remind us of l or that bring out ideas of l so many of them we mentioned make perfect sense the first letter spell ello the i am to my beloved my beloved stamina represents the connection between us we spoke a little more in depth about last week another one we mentioned was es le vajra ves le vav and then which refers to once again the the connection to hashem that the british that's going to circumcise our hearts turn our hearts of stone into heart of flesh it's going to represent the connection the unique connection that we have with the college borough so the first letters of that also spell l we have a lot of hints to owl they're mentioned and they make sense but the arizo and a lot of the more profound jewish thinkers they mention one more which doesn't seem to make any sense and the one that which seems to not make any sense is irmalette and we're going to get to it first of all what is the earmaker then and that the question i'm going to pose is how in the world is ear milk connected to owl so so what is neonicotin so basically when it comes to the categories when it comes to the topic of murder there's different types of murder and not all of them are connected to your main club so for example someone murders bemesed summers on purpose with intent we're not going to get into all of the different categories here but someone murders by means that they don't deserve godless they might be put to death if you have aided them and you have hasura they gave proper warning but that person doesn't uh go to an air michael it might originally go to new mexico everyone who kills actually you know originally goes to near macleod but they don't stay in an aramic lot if someone kills beonese which means that it was out of their control there was no intent it was not even something that they could prevent it was completely beyond their control and there are different levels of bonus but we're going to just leave it as a general category that person doesn't need to go to an era club they you know i mean i would say one of the when it comes to maksha one of the things they should be asking is they should be asking why did hashem choose me to carry out this result would it mean whatever happened i was a part of someone dying and even though it was beyond your control why did hakash bro want you to be part of that something you should be making you know within yourself with me but in terms of arimikula in terms of uh ownership in terms of punishment you don't need that shoghi is someone who does it by accident but they're culpable they're more culpable because they should have been able to prevent it they were careless so that person doesn't go to goals because they don't deserve godless they don't deserve the kapara but then we have the category of shogek shogikas was an accident it was not beyond your control but you're not so to speak culpable in a way where you're deemed to be a bad person it's a form of a vero which needs a kapara and you go to gallus and you go to an eremical you go to exile go this is anxiety you go to nearby the city of refuge now we need to understand what's going on here because sh shoghi is the one who goes to near mechalet and what is guls what is an earmaker so near mikula is a city of refuge where the relatives of the person that was killed and the gol hadam is you know someone who who basically is allowed to kill someone who kills basho gigs when kills accent this the goal of dom and the relatives they can't touch you they can't harm you when you're in the city of refuge so if this person steps out of the city of refuge then the goal hadam is allowed to kill this person this person who killed bashog but when he's inside the walls then he's out now we can spend a lot of time analyzing the analyzing the deep legal principle of gula hadam so one second is the guadalup allowed to kill this person who killed bishop geek is he supposed to is it a mitzvah i mean if there's no golo hadam for example if this person doesn't have any relatives b is then the court system will appoint a goadam literally an avenger of blood now that's a weird concept what is this idea of gualadam why we're not going to delve into it now but something to think about and this person who killed bashoggy who goes to iraq is he really high misa meaning is the gold i'm allowed to kill him or is there a mitzvah kill him because really he should be killed like is the city of refuge a giant hassaid like where does the actual principles line up so that we can understand how these things line up that's something which needs a lot it needs to really ensure in itself i will say one interesting thing is that the ram bump says that sort of kill position is not allowed to leave the iraq club he's not allowed to and he says that even if he's a top general even if he's like yo so someone who's literally important for claudius role even if he's like yo of and christian needs him he's not alive fascinatingly when we we mentioned this a while ago when we talked about uh thinks that this is a proof that you're not allowed to risk your life to save someone else now first of all a lot of people say even if you're not allowed to secure life you you definitely should be allowed risk your life to save clients travel so esther for example risked her life almost was willing to give up her life to save clay so went in without permission which is basically that sentence so the ursamiyah makes as a trans tradition says that we learn from here and the mesh when it comes to moshe i believe that that's why moshe i mean it didn't go down to mitzrayim until the people who wanted to kill him were no longer a problem orson actually does that you don't need to risk your life or maybe you're not allowed to risk your life to save someone else all right so that's that's his clinic she's mean he's super masculine you're not allowed to rescue yourself someone else it comes up are you allowed to let's say donate a kidney donate an organ to save someone's life so he says you're not allowed to risk your life to save someone else so a lot of people reject his proof from this round bomb okay he says no the round bab's not saying the reason why you're not allowed to leave an ear mclaught is because then a goldam is allowed to kill you so it's a risk to your life he's saying you're not allowed to leave that you're myklat because that is the halacha that is the din someone who kills the show geek they need to stay in the aramaic life the immigrant is their makkom it is their home and it's not a question of sakhana it's not a question of oh if they leave they'll be in dangerous so they have to protect their life it's that they need to be in the army as an end to themselves that is something that has a value it is of purpose now there's an additional principle which we're going to have to try delve into a little later which is that they stay there until the cohen god all dies so you're stinging that you're making like you stay in the city of refuge until the coincidental dies now what does this have to do with elo so the torah says that the iraq basically would reside within the camp of the livium and the allusion to elol is if you look at the pasuk which is a source it's in shamosh it says the first letters of those four words which are referring to the hermitcloth they spell elo so there's an illusion between owl and the earmaker now here's the question the question's like this what does l have to do with irma club when in the world does ll's time of teshuva it's a time of connecting to akashbaraku it's a time of becoming one with hashem becoming our best selves and you're making someone who kills bashoggy goes into galas goes into this malcolm and has to stay there until the coin cuddle dies so what's going on here what's the deeper meaning what's the deeper purpose we mentioned some allusions to all that makes sense this one seems to be very abstract and we need to understand what the deeper purpose of this illusion is and the way that we're going to understand this illusion is we're going to try to understand the principle of malcolm because as we've mentioned in the past is referred to as hashem is referred to as the malcolm of the world and we have many sources of this the mishna in brachas says that when it comes to to aspects of illah you have to have kavanagh in your liberm you have to have intent to dive into la malcolm to the malcolm referring to hashem as a malcolm why what does this mean hashem is our malcolm we have a famous midrash that says that kharshvarahu is the makomo shalom is the malcolm of the world the place of the world and the world is not his makkah meaning what meaning that we think of akash brohu as existing in the world who is god in the world now hashem is the source of the world and the world is within him now what does that mean especially because most people think of god think of hashem as a transcendent being out there in the world somewhere maybe they think of him as the physical being or even if they're more philosophical he's an uh you know more abstract being a supreme intellect a higher being whatever it is we're saying yeah that no the world exists within hashem but that's also strange what is that what does that even mean so let's try delve deeper and let's build this more systematically because we have to think about it as what is a macomb what is a place so if you want to think about it you can think of it like this you can think of it as there's two options of place of mako one is a simple understanding that a place is a physical space you have a physical space for example a cup cannot exist in the world unless there's a place for that cup it's a physical space but there's a more abstract understanding of malcolm which is that a place a makkah is the possibility for that thing to exist as in in order for something to exist there has to be a possibility or potential and those two those two concepts are different but we're not going to delve into that right now but we'll just say a possibility or potential for that thing to come into existence at root a possibility is higher than potentials and you can argue that potential is in the first stage of actualizing a possibility and then the fully actualized thing is the last stages of impossibility is before potential potential is the first stage of actualizing that possibility and the actualized result is the last stage but we're not going to delve into that because that's a that's really whole topic in itself but the withdrawal refers to in 26 b is organized differently in different ways but we're basically just going to delve into some powerful principle through develops he develops this idea that in order for something to exist there needs to be a possibility for it to exist and the possibility and the potentiality for the world to exist is within hashem's rats and hashem's will meaning what meaning what that the world does not have to exist and the rambam develops us as well the world does not have to exist hakash bro who chose to create the world the possibility of the world existing meaning the potential the root form of the world being able to come into existence is the concept of malcolm it's the ability for existence to come into being so hashem contains the possibility of our existence which we refer to as malcolm and if you want to think about like this especially for someone who's a beginner who wants to think of how do i think of hashem you can think of hashem as makkum which is the possibility in the source of existence now hashem is more than that then we're not going to go fully into this because that itself would require all share but the rambam and developed this idea that anything in existence can cease to exist meaning anything in existence does not have to be here but akash baraku is beyond existence he never came into existence and he can never cease to exist he is so to speak the source of existence who has to exist but he's actually beyond existence and it's a little bit hard to print towards because what is existence is existence the physical world is existence the anything that is but the spiritual world is right so that's also existence hashem is the spiritual no hashem is beyond the spiritual beyond the physical hashem is the root that is beyond anything that's why we refer to hashem it's that which is no thing that which is beyond anything the world comes into being that is that which exists hashem is beyond the world she was also within the world that's where we get to the unique dynamic of hashem being beyond and within so hashem isn't in existence existence is actually within hashem and hakash barchu made space for us to exist that's the that's how creation occurred meaning that if you have a full cup of metal you can't pour anything into that cup so before some create the world a lot of people think that there was nothing right uh ishmael who created the world from nothing you know before hashem created the world there was only hashem in milando but when akash brought who created the world he made a makkah within himself for us to exist who gave us space within himself for today's now how does how do we understand that's a very interesting question how much of this world is hashem make a space that was not him was it a literal vacuum or was it akash barco made a space within him that seems like it's not him these are fundamental questions to grapple with and these are famous questions that are really you know you know all of the bali mahashava tried to delve into this and to really understand what the nature of this creation was because it makes a big difference in terms of how we relate to this world but let's let's put it simply like this existence and especially the physical world is an aspect of hashem but hashem is also more than existence so existence is within hashem and we're part of that existence we are part of that creation and hashem is both within the world but also beyond the universe beyond the world and you can actually see this in the world malcolm the word makkam is connected to makayam makayam is something that gives existence so nothing can exist with animakum hashem is the makuma which is mekaim which gives our existence so kim is existence right a malcolm allows for something to be kind to exist within it and hashem is the makaim hashem is the cause and that which allows us to exist in the world and yakum means to give rise to something to give existence means to get up to rise you see it all the last night is beautiful that the words say what they are what they actually mean you can see the meaning within the word itself so not only did hashem not only hashem create the world but hashem constantly creates the world hashem constantly wills the world into existence so what does this mean so nafta heim explains that normally when we create things in this world we create it and it stays in existence by itself who creates akash baruch who is giving it its existence so we take bricks which already exists and we are you know building with it is giving the brick existence when he builds when he creates in the mushroom meaning the the mechanism of creation we'll talk about maybe later in terms of speech but akash baku is constantly willing existence into being if a kashmir who stopped willing existence into being it would cease to exist which means that kashmir who is constantly creating the world and if you want to think of it like this you can think of it as as the ramkha puts industry he says that is the only thing which has to exist and that kashmir who uses ratzon which we talked about in the past is the root concept of any process you know when you do anything it always starts with will the initiation of bringing anything into being constantly willing the world into existence and hashem can stop at any point willing the world into existence and you want a great muscle for this you can do this yourself right now think inside your own head create a person give him a backstory give him clothing give him a name what does he look like where is he from now think about this person now stop thinking about this person he ceases to exist if you do not will this person into existence inside your mind use this person ceases to exist you are creating this person's existence the same way when it comes to when it comes to willing us into existence if akash at any point stopped willing us into existence we would cease to exist which means that we exist only now because our courage is literally willing and thinking us into being i mean think about a dream when you dream the people and experiences that exist within your dream exists only when you're dreaming when you wake up it stops so we exist within we exist only because hashem is constantly willing us into being and that means hashem is thinking about you right now that hashem is willing you into being so we talked about the beginning a lot of people don't think worthy of connecting to hashem you're connecting to hashem whether you like it or not hashtag is willing you into existence the only question are you aware of that are you connecting to that and when do we call hashem our malcolm we call hashem whenever we tap into this idea of connecting to akashba when we don't think we're able to for example someone dies we say why because number one we don't feel connected tasha our loved one just died number two we don't feel connected to our loved one because we don't see them anymore number three we don't feel like our loved one exists anymore so what do we say hashem is the the foundation and source and the core of reality and we exist in a spiritual in physical dimension and we are connected to hashem and our root the person we loved is no longer in the physical dimension but they are in the spiritual dimension which means that they're still connecting hashem and we're still connected to them and they're still connected to us so if akash goes root you have the spiritual dimension the physical and it's like you know a projector it's like an expression it's like a seed expressing you know into a trunk into a tree and we're in the express dimension in the physical world but we're also in the spiritual we're also connecting hashem root which is beyond the spiritual hashem is within the spiritual and the physical and our loved one is now in the spiritual world but we are connected to them and they are connected to hashem and hashem is still connected to us it's a beautiful beautiful example we also say it uh when we say barham who by the name when we talk about we're about to talk about all different types of children russia michele tom and we're saying that no matter who you are no matter what level of spiritual development you are you're always connected hashem and we're always connected to our children even if we think that they're distant from us in our ways when we talk about our children it's a beautiful time when you talk about right we say because we're talking talking about the oneness of israel whenever we're talking about these ideas always used at very strategic points and i'll just give you one last one last idea before we move on which is that we also refer to hashem as hashem he shows of the universe and there's very deep ideas here we're not going to delve too much into it because we can give once again a whole share in it but a womb sustains the child it's the mockum it's it's the the place where the child just stays where the child uh matures where the child develops and akash barco is our womb we are in this world within both literally and conceptually we are becoming and growing within and only because akashi is giving us sustenance in life just like a mother gives sustenance in life to her child in the womb and we have to think about i mean in a deeper way the universe and us are all becoming and developing just like the fetus in the womb but the idea of malcolm on the deepest level is the intimate connection between astonishing it's how we deeply connect to akash and how do we apply this principle so here's where it gets really fascinating in terms of applying this principle we can take a step further we can talk about the concept of ani what is ani so anee refers to hashem as the place of the world how because what does anee mean and he means what is the root of ani means to where are you going to where to what place and me i in means from where from what place and ani means i but i really referring to what ani my place my place my mako we're not going to talk about the difference very very briefly for those who want to know the difference between refers to i in reference to myself not in reference to anything outside of myself so when i think of myself as me i refer to anoki ani refers to i in reference to other people so i'm almost positive that i got that right there's a whole shirt that we can give on that because it gets into very deep ideas in terms of when hakash park refers himself as anoki and when hashem refers himself as ani but these are references to as i as the eye of the universe as the self of the universe never shake first hashem as in the shamash the soul of souls hashem is the soul of the word just like you have a soul to your body so is the shama of the world so what does ani mean so when we think of ani we can think of akash as the self beyond all self the self of the world the highest root of reality when it comes to the concept of you referring to ani when you think of yourself when you think of your identity when you think of you it's very a very powerful principle is the fact that you are above and within so for example you are within your body but if you really start thinking about it you're also beyond your body and what do i mean by that i mean that you're in your head right you're in your head but your head's also actually really in you that's a little bit of a mind twist right so what i mean this is one of these really powerful principles your head is where you experience thought it's where you experience consciousness it's where you experience being alive but you're not your head and you're not in your head you're actually way beyond your head right you transcend your body you transcend your head but you are also within your body and within your head and if you want to take a step further your head's actually really in you meaning what meaning at least the way you understand your head your entire world experience which is in your head is actually only a very small limited perspective of what your head is because if you think about it number one you've never actually seen your face think about that all you know about your face and really your head is based on an experience that you're having which you think is within your head so for example you experience sight through light reflecting you know on your eyes and giving you an experience within you and your perception of what a head is is actually something which you don't know what you look like or what your head looks like or anything you just know what you perceive it based on your perception through the translation of your five senses so you know what it feels like you know in theory what it smells like you know what it looks like but you don't know what your head looks like you only know what it looks like based off of the reflection of a site that your brain gives you when you are translating your site and you've never even seen your face itself you've only seen it in a reflection of a mirror so your entire perception or conception of your head is really within you which means that your head is within you now that's very abstract but you can take a step further not only is the idea and your understanding of your head within you but you've had experiences where you are actually within you so for example a dream a dream you're experiencing a dream as reality right you experience dream is reality and this dream could be a day it could be an hour but it could be longer it could be a week it could be a month people have very long dreams sometimes and these dreams really took a few moments in the written you know in this dimension of reality and they've done studies where they've had someone fall asleep and they've opened them up just a couple months later and they told like a long like three-week journey time is relative meaning what's happening within your dream state is completely relative to time in this world or at least in this dimension so this entire dream also is occurring within you and it's occurring within your mind within the world that you've created right and you've placed yourself within this world which means that you are existing within yourself but you're experiencing life you're experiencing a journey but you're experiencing it as reality but it's existing within you literally within you within your consciousness so you are existing within you and when you think about that what's to say that we're not existing within someone else what's to say that you don't exist and i don't exist within some higher reality within some higher consciousness within some higher self within some higher ani right meaning if you can exist within you why can't the awake you exist within a higher self a higher being a higher conscious the higher ani which is really the deep idea of existing within and above yourself so kash baraku also exists within reality but is also above reality these are very powerful ideas and it's really like levels of self levels of consciousness levels of being levels of existence that's really what we're referring to here and there's a beautiful beautiful source for this is a beautiful gemara it's says that hillel would come and we're not going to get all details but the the basic just profound profound line of the gemara is the hello we all know hillary who's one of the biggest he's a saddik he's an anna if he was willing to risk his life to just taste the beautiful words of torah he gave himself the torah he was a man of patience and hill says what he says if i am here akol everything is here and the little literal translation seems to be that pillow was saying that once i got here the party starts i'm everything once i get here everything's here you don't need to you know without getting into the context of the gemara it seems to be the hill as being a big balgaivo he's saying that i am the most important person out there and when i get here everything is here so it doesn't make any sense because hill is an enough he's not an egotistical you know balgaiva so what does hillary say and what's even more troubling is that not only is helena balgaiva but he's known for being one of the biggest he is one of the biggest bali balayanova he's one of the most humble people in all of shots all jewish history so what's going on here but here's the powerful ideorashi says that ani is not referring to hillel it's referring to it's one of hashem's names and hill was saying that and you can even think about kel's giving a share and he's saying it's telling clients troll that once hakaris who is here once here once hashem is here everything is here he's telling chrysler and rashid is really referring to the fact that he's explained to chrysler how not to sin with the name of hashem we're not going to get you know so into the all the context because that gets into a couple of questions in the good mara but the idea here is powerful which the kashbach was referred to as ani and akash is the self is the great eye of the universe is the makkum is the source of reality and if anika everything is here which once again we need to understand what does that mean so the zohar actually says that anir first the shriner first and if the shrine is there then coal is there but the concept of coal what's coal so a lot of the battery pick up on the fact that coal always refers to the transcendent always refers to something more holistic so asap said that yesterday i have a lot and yakuza usually collide everything when i'm connected to akash about everything i'm tapped into the infinite i'm tapped into haku coal is the gematria of 50. we've talked about before that the maharal explains that spherus omer is 49 seven times seven seven represents the the physical reality there's seven lights in the spectrum of light seven days in the week there are seven notes in the musical scale eight is limala minha teva that's why seven times seven is forty nine we had four nine days of spheres omar the 50th was the eighth the first day of the eighth week it's the fiftieth always represents see it's also the matrix of the of the sea without getting into all the details of why why specifically see that which is endless the torah but the 50th is that which transcendence that which is infinite coal represents that transcendent imminence that transcendent power that transcendence and we have this famous principle of bat called mikol kol which also refers to avermeet the is this concept of tapping into the tapping into malcolm tapping into the skin and tapping in to ani to our kurdish why but back hole is that we exist within kol we exist within hashem mikhol is we come from the infinite we come from hashem so we exist within hashem and everything stems from hashem so we are you know aspects or manifestations of you stem from the root and kol is just the root itself and the idea here is that if akash barco is here if you have the recognition that akash broke is manifest within everything then you see within everything cotton everything is here so it's a beautiful beautiful idea i'm gonna just share one last idea before we take it a step further because this this principle is is unbelievable and i we're going so deep already that it would be a shame not to share it so it's a little deeper and it's a little more abstract so you can you know kind of put this as a parenthesis if you're you know so to speak a little tired and want to move on to the next idea but i'm just going to share this one last principle which is that the gematria of malcolm is 186 so that reason i'll explain something absolutely unbelievable and the principle is like this what is the gematria so first of all words a word in hebrew word not question is essence in english a word is a word but in davar which is a word also means a thing that also means thing because a word is crystallized essence crystallized who spoke the world into existence spoke why because what speech is taking ideas that which is more ethereal and bring into finite expression you have an idea which is beyond expression and you form it into words to express the idea into crystallized physical finite form words in hebrew represent essence we've talked about this many times that's why shame a name represents essence in shama something's inner essence now if a word represents essence a gematria gematri is a numerical equivalent it is numerical form of that essence now when gamatras aren't done right or they're not explained right people don't give it respect and kimatri has a logic significance as spiritual significance the basically all of makshava is built off of the they resell their the gemaran talks about kamachos but when you just throw gamaches out there you don't explain the backdrop and the meaning behind it then you start to say gamache is just a bunch of fluff now anyone who understands mathematics knows that mathematics literally is the foundation of meaning especially talk to a someone who's in physics someone who's in you know more technical science they speak in numbers so math is literally translating ideas into its mathematical form and that's what gamatra is so gematri is the expression of the word essence now there's another step another principle in machamba which is that a gematria of something fully expressed meaning the fully expressed khmer tree of something is the fully expressed meaning of a word so let's say a gematria of something is you know ten but if you take the fully expressed gematria which means you take all the letters of that word and you multiply it by themselves so it's the gematria of the full expression of that word you get the fully expressed meaning the fully expressed comatria of that word so the the source of this is actually in the mishnah the mishnah says it's a mishnah in chivas in pericalife it says so it says 4 it says 2 that's 4. what's 2 that's 4 because what's the concept it's 2 but each of these let's say you have 1 and 2 but each of these now because it's the unit of 2 contains 1 and 2. so 1 contains 1 and 2 and 2 contains 1 and 2 so that 2 now equals four and three three is nine why because one within that three is has one two and three two has one two and three and three has one two and three so every every unit now every number has that's what the concept of multiplying it by itself it's the concept of that which is within the thing itself so the gematria fully expressed as taking each letter within a word and multiplying it by itself so i'm trying to take you through the steps so i don't just jump to the answer and tell you why i'm doing it i'm trying to explain to you the the stages of expression so for example spherus omer is seven within seven seven times seven is the full expression of seven that's the idea of fully expressing idea fully expressing a number now let's say we have the word makko what's the gematria of malcolm the gematri of malcolm is 186. so rizal says something very powerful he says that when you take fk which is the fourth letter name of hashem it's the shem hawaii it's the root shame of akashbar the first name that we give tasham the first way of relating to akash baruch who from a transcendent perspective when we take you to kiev fk and we fully express that so we take you to multiply by itself so unit is 10 10 times seven you multiply each of the letters of unique fk by itself so you take you'd then hey i used that five ten times twenty-five you okay above six times six 36 hey 25 5 times 5 is 25 you get what the full expression of uk fk is 186. so the full expression of that transcendent root is the creation of what a mako of reality and what else is 186 elo kim which reflects what howard kashmir is manifest within this world it's the express it's the the the place of relating to in a created reality so the full expression of yud kevke is both our malcolm and elokim hashem's relating to us in a expressed physical revealed manner now i don't know about you but that is mind-blowingly awesome and obviously there are people who don't relate to camacho's they're people who don't relate to mathematical expression of ideas there are people who are just so numbed by gematrias but for those of you who are not and for those of you who don't yet have an opinion this is one of those things where when you have the ideas as the foundation the gematria the expression it's it's unbelievable so new kevke expressed himself into the world he is both the place of the world and elokim the source of all expressed reality the way that um i refer to him especially cool it's the source of all power all all expressed reality in the physical world so now that we've delved deep into the concept of malcolm we can take it a step further so we understand that malcolm is is the source of reality the root of reality now we have to understand the connection between arie miklot and el what's the connection with arie mclennell so when do you go to an army club you go to an army club when you go into dulles so what is gullus so on a very simple level goalless is the consequence for murder when you kill someone amazing you're high of misa when you kill the showgig you go to goals you go to your america the question's like this what is the media connected media of when you kill someone because the the technical way of viewing own shim is that it's a punishment you do this you get this punishment but the deeper understanding is that everything is consequential you create your consequence when you kill someone you create the consequence of now you get killed when you kill someone that's amazing when you kill the shogun you create the consequence of going into gulas and going to near mcleod so you're creating your own comparable but now you have to understand so how is gallows and ere miklot a consequence i mean the kanagaminda of killing someone bishog so think of it like this let's let's step by step when you kill someone they'll say be amazing you're killed why because you took away their place in the world you suffered their neshama from their body so what's that mean to connect with you what's the consequence the consequence is that you are separated from your body because you took away their place in the world so you lose your place in the world now obviously and this is i mean first of all it's a straight combination of uh dalai lama and olive says that when you remove stones and shamba your inner shaman needs to be removed as well so you're hiv misa because you need to basically get that medicine it means you need to lose your place in the world now the qualification of course is that they didn't lose their place they're still alive they're still in the spiritual world no one's no one ever ceases to exist there is no such thing as death there is no such thing as non-existence and all you're going to say about karis being cut off from existence i would argue and this is actually quote in several deep sources that curry says the experience of not existing so you're actually existing but experiencing yourself not existing which is the ultimate torture the ultimate suffering of being cut off is you if you didn't experience yourself being cut off that wouldn't be a punishment it wouldn't be a consequence because you're just not there you don't exp you can't suffer if you don't exist the real pain of karis is existing but experiencing yourself as if you don't exist now that's a little mind-bending but obviously all oneesh is a kapara so that you can go to the next stage that's what gehenna is we're not going to go into right now but it's an experience of cleansing experiencing the pain of what you created and by experiencing that you go through a cleansing process to get back to your root self which you can then move on to the next stage of actually existing with an omaha in a more purified way we're not going to delve too deeply into that so when you kill someone it means that you've caused you've caused them to lose their place in this world and therefore you lose your place in this world and that's actually the idea of of course they still exist hashem is the malcolm and therefore we all exist within that malcolm but that's the idea of kanish is what do you do when you do kaddish the world lost the spark of kadusha they lost in the shama and we say kanish we try to bring that kendusha back into this world which is a beautiful idea but now we'll take in the next step showgig when you kill somebody shogei you go into goddess why because you have partially lost your right to exist within the world what does that mean it means like this you killed someone but it was an accident you killed someone by accident but you're still negligent enough that you're accountable you've caused someone to lose their place in the world so you're going to lose your place but instead of fully losing your place in the world meaning you have to die you're only going to lose your place where you live your your physical place in a very contained conceptual manner is then you still lose your place but not fully so you have to go into goals you have to lose your muckle so now you're still existing in this world in your body and you've lost your physical place of residence and you have to flee you're going to go as you're going to exile but you're still allowed to live and you live in an immigrant and we have a lot of precedence for this because what's the presence what's the precedence of losing your makkom when you kill in a sense bishop of the marisha of the maharishon before the ramban explains that we were immortal we're going to live forever there's going to be no death and there's going to be no death to time nowadays time dies as well you don't experience your past as if it's happening now the way time used to go is that it would go like this you'd carry each moment with you and just move forward on a higher level take whatever you've learned take the joy take the experiences of the past and bring them with you nowadays you have to go back into memories to experience the past so not only the adam harishan kill the human being bring death into the world cause us to be mortal there are explains that before the caitanya four adam ascend the physical body wasn't in the ram explains as well the physical body was immortal it could fully contain the soul and it wouldn't age as a matter of fact the quran says that until avraham people didn't age either avraham asked for adrian because he it's just looked like avraham look just like avraham and avraham wants yitzhak to have his own identity so he asked for agent each of the of us asked yaakov asked for for sickness before death so that he'd be able to know when he's going to die so he can bless his children very deep ideas but adam harishan brought death to the world what happened when he since he brought death to the world and because he brought death to the world he lost his mock me kicked that gun cayenne first act of murder killed havel now obviously he didn't really know what it means he there had never been a murder before so you can't really say he knew what he was doing it was this like visceral reaction just trying to through anger do something to have hell and ended up with him killing heaven now what was the response what was the the medical negative he made heaven lose his mock in the world he lost his malcolm he went for the rest of his life he was in gallus for the rest of his life he was in ghost and actually the irony is that he was killed by accident right the his great descendant thought that he was an animal and killed him by accident another form of killing by accident very interesting parallel also media canada media but if you want one more fascinating example tish above we mourn the bass amigdash and you have to literally view it as if a makes no total fun of you have to view it as if literally someone's dying right in front of you someone just died you have to view it literally like you're in a veil it's like you're mourning death question is we're mourning the destruction of a building but there's a much deeper idea here basement who connected to the world it was literally the malcolm the place of connecting to the infant to transcend to this chain to in this world and is the soul of the world and explains that the only reason why the romans were able to destroy the basement just because we already destroyed the client shall destroy themselves why because he just put a zone in the base of dash in is that possible because we put a zone in our own in our world our inner mind we disconnected ourselves from a college bible we did that in our own inner self in the spiritual form of the basement dash and the physical base and make this just reflects the spiritual root and because we destroyed that connection with the quran because we destroyed the best the romans were able to basically just destroy the shallow of the baby dash in this world but we were the ones that really did so what did we do we disconnected from hashem from the world in a very deep way we killed the world hashem is the soul of the world what's murder when you separate a soul from the body you kill then you literally sever the the connection between the shaman and the goof the soul in the body what did we do we distant sacrifice broke from the physical world it was like disconnecting the soul from the body we killed the world intentionally we mourn the death of the world if you've never heard that before that will take that will change your tish above realizing that we're not just mourning the loss of a building we're mourning the loss of our connection with hashem it's the death of the world the world used to be a fundamentally different connect hashem a much more potent real level you can see the physical reflecting the spiritual nowadays it's much harder it's a stage of where you have to really choose to see hashem choose to find hashem in our lives and just on a little bit of a side point i'll share a powerful principle which is on a deeper level this this might shock you but a deeper level creation of the world itself and the kardashian who created the world creation itself was an act of gullis an reactive exile why because what is ghosts gulas is being distanced from your true makkah when you're in exile you are distanced from your true place where you're really supposed to be the maharal explains that there's three aspects of goals one is you lose your place you lose your malcolm the place where you should be number two is you're no longer together and connected as one so when claudius always goes they were scattered or we dive in for a couch collect the the scattered people from the former corners of the world that's the accomplishment for the cabbage we we asked uh who in that field and tremendously to collect all of claudius all together and number three is in addition to being that your place and no longer being one we're no longer under our own dominion we're no longer independent we're subject and subservient to some other power some of the other for some other malhius some other kingdom some other governments some we're not our own people we're not subject to akash baruch on a political practical level or a melanchol is a king whose purpose is connecting us to hashem and a regular government regular mail they're not their job is not to help us directly to connect us and they might give us some freedoms to do what we want nowadays especially where we're blessed nowadays to live in a world where most governments allow us to connect hashem but a true mellach israel it doesn't allow us to connect hashem he passionately helps us he passionately enables us he is the the beacon of hope and light that inspires us and motivates us and drives us to connect the and when we're ungulas we don't have that but the main i would say the anchor of these three is losing our malcolm losing our malcolm that is the acre essence of goal so what happened when kashbach who created the world where the qur'an created adam and itself the bali sheva talked about how before creation adam was and really everything was one with hashem creation was creating an experience and also creating a perception and in some sense a reality where there's a disconnection between such and for us to exist for us to be conscious for us to have a sense of eye of self there had to be a sense of removing the oneness between us and hashem at least on the experiential level of actually talked about how first step after creation was that adam was given an experience of separateness from the oneness of akash baruch and if adam would have realized if he would have understood how distance he how distant he was from hashem then he would have fulfilled his entire need for gals forever there would have been no longer a need for ghalos and he would be able to basically like rock it right back to hashem the purpose of reality would be done and he would close all the gaps we can reconnect with hashem on the deepest level if we would have realized and recognized the pain of being distant information and that is what creation was a distance between him and hashem but obviously adam sinned and we've talked about before what the the sin of adam was why why he said what the purpose of that sin was and what the repercussions were what the consequences were but ever since adam sinned we've basically just gone on a long descent a continuous increasing of goals because what happened every exile basically continues further into a deeper distance between assad hashem because by adam he basically said you know this isn't so bad obviously adam did shubha but when he originally said he got kicked and hashem's response was to push him into further exile right meaning you should say really in ghani then he got kicked down to a further ghost and then by the door hammable they said you know they got used to the world the way it is that's not so bad so what happened hashem pushed him into a further exile and then lithius mitzrayim was the next exile and the first place i make this we basically we're distant from our courage then second not so bad further ghosts previous generations in europe got used to the world the way it is garter sparkle's response push them into colors every time we get comfortable every time we exist within a goalless and accept it as our malcolm as opposed to realizing that we need to shoot back to our true malcolm that when we connect to a higher malcolm that we are not supposed to be complacent and okay with the way the world is but we need to deeply deeply desire to reconnect in a much higher more potent more real way to accomplish powerful every single time we get more comfortable coach brock who needs to send us into a deep regalos we might mention a little bit later why that is and why the world keeps getting further and further from its roots there's a deep purpose behind that but there's also a deep sadness a deep sadness when you look at the world right now and we need to really really choose to see further to see deeper it's not easy it's a hera it's a constant that we need to choose to see hashem in every aspect of our life that's that's what it is to be a jew that's what it is that's to learn to see the world in a deeper way but when we're in goals when we go to an intermittent what is near mclaughlin what is the aramic line uh obviously the deeper question is okay we understand guls we understand the golos as a response to killing someone basho gig but what's this connection what it what is an ear nickel and what's an earmaker that's connection to owl so an ear mikula is a place for someone without a place think about it's beautiful you've killed someone by showgig you've lost your life you've lost your malcolm you've lost your social reality you've lost your purpose in a sense you're you're lost you don't have a place in the world anymore you're on the run here's an earmaker who says you lost your place you think that you don't have a place any longer i'm your malcolm you're always connected to me and i'm going to give you a malcolm in this world as well i'm going to give you a place even though you don't have a place and even though in a certain sense you might not even deserve a place you still always have a place so even when you've lost your place and even even when in some sense remember we talked about the goal that might even have a mitzvah to kill this person it might even be that this person really shouldn't lose their place this person really should that college bar who says even you there's no such thing as someone who doesn't deserve a place in this world if you're going to say oh what about a person who's needed the person who needs to lose their place in this world because they killed be amazing they really it's a par for them to actually lose their physical malcolm as well but for this person koshbar who says that you're in this gray area you've you're lost you're in a bad place i'm gonna find a place for you i'm going to give you a place so an iron makeup is a place for those that place and in a deep sense that's what elo is as well ella is a place for those without a place it's a place for those who have lost their places the place for those who say am i really able to connect with hashem am i really able to take the next step in my life am i really able to strive for greatness i don't have a any reference point i'm lost who am i says here's owl i'm gonna give you a foundation i'm gonna give you a place and we're going to delve deeper into it for a minute but i just want to take it a step further because going back to irmikla we're going to delve into a little a much greater depth in a minute but going back to the ear mechlet there's a deep idea with the coin goddamn because a person who kills bashog stays in the earmaker until the kohen goddale dies so the question is why what does his stay in the army have to do with the coin godot all right once the coin god dies he can leave the america gold is no longer able to kill him and he's able to go back to his life as it was before obviously not as it was before he's on a different level he's improved he's you know achieved a lot in the iraq club but the question is what does his life now have to do with the coin god why is it dependent on the coin goddess life once the coin got all dies now he's able to leave what's going on here so here's the deeper idea the coin god is responsible for the place the makkom of clan israel we've talked before how the the the one who enters into the dosha talk about the levels of reality in terms of physical space how the rest of the world obeys the laws of physics but once you get there to shrill it's it's me right so it's like a deal when you take this gun off you're like how's it fit on the laws of physics don't reply now it's just real how does it fit all of clients from we get huge lime everyone's all the regular the commercial still fits everyone get the azara and the mission of says that when they were standing up it was all credibly bowed down all of a sudden everyone had space we've mentioned before how the master idea is that when you negate your ego there's room for everyone but the deeper idea is that when you get closer to the ko shah gadosham the laws of physics stop applying why because the world was created from the evangelical and emanated from the evangel which is located right under the koshakudoshim and the laws of physics don't apply once you get closer to the source of law and physics the laws of space and time cease to exist in that dimension and that's why when you get to the evidence to see against the kosher the laws of physics don't apply at all which is why the gemara says that the aron took up had to take up space they were shearing for the iron but it took up no space it took up no space like mars how is that possible because there's no space the laws of space and the laws of physics don't apply in the colossal condition where the laws of physics come into being ah but the coin goes goes into the closure of yum kipper how is that possible the puzzle says that no man can go into the coast of notion kipper into our transcendent perfect root in this world we are becoming perfect and you recap we tap into our root our potential the fact that our root we are all perfect that we are all welcome we are in this world to become perfect to actualize our potential but on kipper we tap into our route and we're capable of becoming you the kungal represents all of clyde's role and goes into the kojic doesn't a place beyond place a place beyond space uh something that is so transcendentally impossible but am kipper is able to do that obviously when the kongado was not on the right level he would unfortunately pass away which is why they used to connect the rope to their foot because there was a stage in jewish history of the queen guddell was not on the right level it was not done the right way and basically almost every single year the coil will die when he goes when he went through the colossal edition but the idea is that he is the p he the coin cuddle is the person who's capable of going in and connecting with the source of place going into the koshakudoshima right on top of the evangelsia and he is responsible for the place of clay israel for the source of space the source of malcolm the coin god is in a deep way the most connected to the makkum of kali israel and the space of client israel and when this person kills bashog and he loses his place the coin goddell becomes responsible for him and this person now becomes connected to the coin god and obviously we have to like think about why this is and why why only once the coin got though loses his place in the world why only once the coin god dies is this person able to regain his place i mean it's strange when you kill someone shogei the koan gadol who's responsible for place becomes responsible for you and once the coin god dies and loses his place now you can go back into the world and regain your place like what's going on so i think there are two possible explanations there could be more i think one possible explanation is that it's a kapara because the coin goddess death and losing his place in the world serves as a kapara for him so remember you're supposed to lose your place in the world you don't lose your place as a khaseet and the one who's responsible for you now becomes the khan ghadal who's responsible for your place but now the quango so to speak is your makkum when the loses his place the one who's responsible for you having lost your place now lost his place and it's so to speak a kapara for you who were supposed to have lost your place to guangzhou is losing his place now basically fulfills that requirement of losing a place for your accidental murder it's a little bit longer so it's a little bit conceptual but it works it works and if you think about it if the coin goes actually representing you then someone has actually lost their place because of that accidental murder so it depends how far you want to say the coincidental represents you but if you want to actually take it all the way then this works another option is that the new hoi the new coin godo is providing him with a new place as in since there's a new coin goddamn there's a new connection to the source of place so to the malcolm of reality this new kwang gundle can now give him an ability to give this person who who kills someone bicho gig he can give him the ability to regain his place in the world as well as that's basically a restart rejuvenation it's a you know start over it's a good question i think those are two possible answers there could be more something to think about but now let's let's take it back to l l l is a place for those without a place l is the ear miklot for everyone we all feel we all know at least that we've we haven't tapped our true potential we haven't become the ultimate versions of ourselves as incredible as you are and as unincredible as you may think you are both ends of the spectrum neither of us neither of those aspects of ourselves whether we feel like we're great we feel like we're not great enough both of you and both of us whatever however want to frame it no one's perfect no one's achieved their potential there's always more we can accomplish and for those who are great you can become greater for those who feel like you're nothing who feel like you're lost who feel like hashem doesn't care about you hashem is willing you into existence is thinking about you right now knows you're capable of more and is giving you the ability l is that your migla is giving you a place to become to restart to you know get your momentum going it's all about getting your footing and just starting making that first right decision getting into good habits getting into a good culture getting into a good environment start feeding your mind positivity start learning start feeding your body healthy food start feeding yourself healthy emotions start becoming the version of yourself you know you're capable of becoming that's what l is about and a lot of us we think that's too late for us we can't connect that we can't become extraordinary we can't do anything different i didn't do in the past time i supposed to do it now how is that time where you say no no it's a wake-up call it's that show for blow that you can become something that you've never seen before now is the time to start now is where akash baruch is giving you that malcolm and it's akashbacho's way of saying that there's always going to be a place for you and the reason why elo is right after chisholm is because right after we right after that that time where we feel the most distant from we mourn the loss of the basement where we we basically entered into a state of jewish history where we are no longer half of them we no longer have that that deep existential connection to akash bakugan the way that we did while the basement this was still was still you know fully functioning it's like you have to we have to mourn the loss of this make this but we also have to realize that even though we've lost our common we've gone to galas we still have a malcolm and el is that malcolm for christopher as a nation and for each of us as individuals and that's why if you look and this is why it's this beautiful the source for ear makeup being an illusion to hello when it says the first four the the four letters that are in the front of those four words spell ello what's the next word after that is our mako is our malcolm and let's take it one last step further let's take one last step further because there's an additional connection between malcolm and rosh hashanah which falls directly after ello what's the idea so let's keep going and this is what i'm saying we're going to go deep we're going to keep going this is going to be a long share and i would say that for anyone who who wants to pause here and continue a different time this is a perfect place to pause but we're going to go even deeper and you can think of this as as a multi-stage share and it's more than okay to take a break and obviously the fact that this is being recorded means that you can access it at any time i want to take this a step further because we've already delved so deeply into the concept of malcolm and i want to go even deeper because what's the connection between rosh hashana and aries israel think about it what's the connection and the connection seems to be very deeply rooted within ghazal khazal seemed to say that not only is there a connection between makkah and rosh hashanah and between malcolm and ello but there's a connection now between all of the scenarios israel how so first of all the gemara says as a following question rosh hashanah says what's the source that rosh hashanah is the yom hadid all right we know it's when akash broke who created the world obviously whether it was in by rosh hashanah or by pesach but we know that that rosh hashanah is yom hadin from mesora but where do we actually see this in the torah where does the torah tell us that's yamadan so the gemara says where it says from the puzzle describing eric's troll and the puzzle that basically compares eritre's royal to mitzrayim so the fact that the pos me racist it's a passage you can look up for yourself in the divine parachute of possibes so the gemara says that main race just means what may racist is telling us what that miraculous means that on rosh hashanah is like a seed and on that seed everything for the full year becomes expressed on rosh hashanah we are judged so to speak is determine what our entire year will become it's like any root that what comes afterwards is always an expression the physical world is an expression it's about the physical world is an expression of torah we are each an expression of our zygote at least physically each year is like a seed each year is like a new creation each year is like a new zygote and it becomes expressed throughout the year so the questions like this why why why is why is the the source of rosh hashanah being a yom i didn't why is that learned out from the concept of eretz israel well why is that learned from ancestral it's very strange all right the basically the possibilities is comparing each other's army numbers they got their sustenance from the nile they didn't have to dive into akash berkeley you have to look up to hashem we live in you know the clay israel who's who's malcolm who's home is aries israel we have to dive into our sparrow we have to look up and connect back to akash baruch in order to get sustenance that doesn't happen naturally now the questions like this what does arizona have to do with rosh hashanah and what does rosh hashanah do there's israel and here's the powerful idea when connecting to malcolm aries israel and rosh hashanah are both paradigmatic sources of a certain dimension of reality and this is a powerful powerful idea irritable is the place where place comes into existence it's the source of our physical mock-up now you can ultimately break down this idea i will just qualify by saying that space and time are concepts but they're intertwined concepts and it's very hard to separate them morale actually says in many places that time and space are always interconnected but at least from a certain perspective you can think about them and contemplate them separately even though they are fundamentally intertwined but the most potent concept of space emanating from nature is called evan tracia we just spoke about uh eventually the rock of formation the world emanates the physical world enemies from the evangelicia is the source of space and time it's where place comes into existence everything has a place to exist and that place comes into existence from the evangelists here from the quran irritation so eritrea is the place where place comes into existence roshana is most potently the time when time comes into existence is the point of creation now obviously creation was also the creation of space and in order for there to be time there was also an aspect of space and or if there is space there is an aspect of time you could separate them you don't have to we've actually talked about before contemplating space without time and time without space and you could even though it's very hard to but rosh hashanah is the point of creation creation is an act an act of doing that's time the villain talks about how beratious the base is the letter of creating time right in the beginning that that's bringing time into being also being says twoness multiplicity time is you know different events one thing after another we've also spoken about the depth of time the different vantage points of how to view time different whether times going in a straight line a circle a spiral but time comes into being most potently in russia now you can ask a question this because you can actually say that time was really created on 25th of ill right creation occurred in 25th will not first of tishrei not rosh hashanah so there are different answers one answer you could give is that man was creating the first of history so for us time begins on rosh hashanah you can also say that the renewal of time each year occurs in our time so maybe the original inception of time occurred in the 25th available but the renewal each year occurs on rosh hashanah so we now have rosh hashanah as the time where time comes into existence areas to show where the is the place where place comes into existence and both of those are the rude tapping into the root concept of malcolm of source of the place of place the time of time the root of our experienced reality and if you want to put this in parentheses pesach actually connects this as well because remember according to tosos toasters originally decided to create the world and rosh hashanah actually didn't have the root of clients trails formation of climate change coming into being and it's where we transcended space and time so we got above the created elements of space and time that's why matzah takes up the minimum amount of time and the minimum amount of space before it rises so both minimum amount of time and minimum amount of space and it's the root of claisha's ability to live on a plane beyond space and time which the maharal explains is the idea of zeresis of you you don't want to allow your mitzvos to become hamates right just like you don't want to let your matzos to become khamenei so you don't want to allow your matsos to exist within time too much you don't allow your mitzvos and the way you live life to exist too much within time you want to live life is raises above time above space so now we're going to move to the next stage which is that now we're we're in l we're in hello and as we move towards rosh hashanah we want to think about how we can tap into our true malcolm and entire true existence and we've developed a lot of ideas so far but one of the big questions that we haven't addressed is that okay we understand malcolm we understand the principle of malcolm how it connects to how it connects to the irmikla the power of rosh hashanah as we move towards rosh hashanah and his connection to stroll as tapping into the concept of root malcolm of reality but why specifically during elo do we have this constant malcolm meaning why not all year long what is so unique about elo that we remind ourselves that we always have a place to remind ourselves who loves us we remind ourselves that you know it's not too late why specifically the last month of the year this should be at least you know maybe the beginning of the year maybe the middle maybe all year long why specifically at the end but the idea is powerful the idea is like this that at the end of the journey at the end of any journey but specifically the end of the year when you're losing the inspiration when you're losing that light when you're losing that source of why you're doing what you're doing who you are the motivation to keep moving forward specifically at the end ensures that you can overcome the difficulty of that struggle of that darkness of the desire to give up and you have to think about it as we just mentioned how rosh hashanah is the racist is the source but it's the source of the upcoming year at l where at the end of that year the that shafa the energy that light that source of existence is running low we're about to run out the year is about to end and naturally the year should just come to an end the fact that there's a new rosh hashanah a new creation of the world obviously kashmir creates the world constantly but in terms of the cycle of a new year that's a bachelor of a college more collection will choose to recreate the world doesn't have to happen so l is the very end point it's where there is the you can argue the lowest point of the year from some from a certain perspective and it's at that time where we really do lose inspiration where not only do we have to remind ourselves that yeah like it's a serious time we're coming to rosh hashanah but it's also like we're tired it's been a long year and we're struggling and specifically at that point hashem says here's a monkey you can do this you've infinite potential i am your source and i'm giving you i'm giving you some firm flooding so you can start building your momentum again it is never ever too late and you can think of almost like a battery it's like restaurant is the battery and the battery is about to run out l is like the end of that battery we're going to get a new battery hopefully in rosh hashanah time but now we're running on low energy and l is you know as as poetic as you want to make it it really is it's shining a light in that darkness it's gaining that foot and getting the inspiration when you just want to call it quits and akash broke his tongue is that we have a place no matter how much we've seemed to disconnect ourselves from hashem that it's never too late the morale says something powerful he says what's the shuva so we've talked about how before chufa means return returning to your higher self if you look at the word teshuva teshuva comes from the ru from the root shah for shuff so the moral says something unbelievable he says that if you look at the word shuv or shav which means to return it's shin and bass so it's base is the second letter of the alpha base and shin is the second to last letter of the alpha is y so he says something unbelievable he says we go from shin from the very end from the most distant light letter of aleph being most distant from its source to the absolute root to base to that which is close to kashbacho now what are you gonna ask me what are you talking about shin is not the last letter and baze is not the first letter it should be at or ta you know it should be from aleph to tough uh or if to suffer from tough to aleph what do you what do you talk about shoes beijing shin so he says something unbelievable he says that cars broke who never ever lets you get to the last stage meaning you'll never get to the point where it's absolutely impossible absolutely evil absolutely disconnected from hashem and you can also never get to olive so we're not going to talk about now but the idea of the allah faces basically aleph is the root of the allah phases the most spiritual transcendent aleph has no sound it's commodity of one it's oneness it's the most ethereal aloof allah these are words which reflect spiritual concepts which we're not going to go into right now but aleph is the highest and toughest the most expressed the most physical the most distant from its root obviously can reflect the root but it's the most distant and it's the most physical it's the lowest of all the olive base most corporeal so we can never get to the tough we'll always be on the shin that's the lowest you can possibly get but here's the question we're also why can't we get to the olive you could never get to the alph because aleph is the root itself and especially in this world we're never going to be perfect we're never going to access our actual perfect self we're always going to have something left to accomplish we're always going to have room for improvement because i'll say that the biggest hits to her one can have is to think they're already perfect aesop is a sui he came out with a fully hairy he thought he was perfect that's the idea of of your ego convincing you that there's nothing left to learn nothing left to accomplish you know everything can say himself i don't need to learn anymore i've learned it all but someone says the real time is a talmud and that's his he's a student always and that's the source of his wisdom and he's always learning more now that's the reality of teshuva teshuva is from shin back to base it's saying that i've come far from my root and i can go back now you can ask a question you can say okay but tishuva actually it's really is tough shin but that could be a deeper idea here as well which is that the tough before the shin is what you think it is you think you're all the way to the tough you think you're completely disconnected but really as far as anyone has come and obviously you know for someone who's really fallen they might think they're at the tough they're at the shin not everyone some of us have had great years but even even if you've had a great year you know you can accomplish more you know you can accomplish more so relative from your own world you can say i'm going from shin to base and they might look like you're tough and like look like all hope is lost and i look like there's no way to connect back to hashem no you're never tough it's always shin to base unless they'll probably for a last deep principle before we wrap things up let's let's delve into one last idea because i want to i want to just carry this home hashem never ever allows something to fully disconnect from its root meaning what meaning evil the concepts of evil and darkness they can never completely take over and have complete control they can never ever cause a complete breakdown there's no such thing that's really the root of what we just said in the morale you can never get to tough it's always going to be shin why not why can't the cajuacco let it get to like complete breakdown why can't you get to the top why why not says hashem never allows us to happen never allows us to take place it's impossible why i mean the question is a real big question because if you think about it explains that there's two real purposes to existence there's two reasons why kashbach who created the world the first is what most of us know actually says us and almost all his formula he says this for us obviously the reason is because he wants us to be able to perfect ourselves and achieve our ultimate perfection and connect with hashem we've talked about that before that's the most famous answer we're in this world's approved door we're here in this world to become our ultimate selves to achieve our perfection to connect with hashem but there's another purpose to creation as well which is to reveal the ultimate oneness and the goodness of akash baruch now the two answers are intertwined we're not going to get into that right now but in order to reveal the ultimate goodness in the ultimate oneness of hashem the explains hashem had to create the ultimate breakdown the opposite of oneness as breakdown and corruption and the ultimate evil the opposite of the ultimate goodness is the ultimate evil so the college brother created a world where evil is able to exist and break down and corruption is able to exist but not only did he do that but he allowed it to get to his ultimate ultimate version of that which is why the world has become so corrupt and broken down and doesn't reveal the goodness and doesn't reveal hashem because why because if you want to reveal the ultimate good you have to show how hashem can overcome the ultimate evil if you want to reveal the ultimate oneness you have to reveal that how hashem is able to basically create the ultimate oneness from a world which is completely corrupt and broken and shattered and doesn't reveal that oneness so the world is an expression of the opposite of where she wants to reveal so that when she comes hashem does reveal it we're able to see through contrast how goodness overcame the ultimate evil how oneness was created from the ultimate breakdown and corruption so ira literally means breakdown it means corruption shatter so here's the question if the purpose of the world is for us to achieve the ultimate good for hashem to reveal the ultimate goodness for hashem to reveal the ultimate oneness then shouldn't there be a complete breakdown meaning for evil to get to the top for evil to get as completely broken and shattered as possible for the world to become as corrupt and as as almost like you know as is impossible to see hashem as possible shouldn't there be the ultimate evil in the world why would hashem never let things get to their ultimate breakdown it contradicts the principle that the ultimate goodness can only be revealed by the ultimate evil the ultimate wonders can only be revealed by the ultimate breakdown the ultimate shattering of that oneness so why wouldn't hakash prachu allow us to get enough why wouldn't hashem allow the world to get to the ultimate ultimate disconnected state of reality and yet says that the world is never going to reach that complete break then complete evil so there's several different answers i think one is based on what we said before which is that the only way anything can exist in this world is if it's connected to if hashem creates it and the only way that something can exist in this world is if it its root is still good meaning if it's still connected in some way tasha think of it as a circuit of electricity if you cut off the circuit the electricity can no longer continue to flow and if akash berkeley is continuing to willing us into existence it has to stem from hashem's will there has to and hashem's will always the root is always good which the explains how even evil itself stems from goodness and kashmir is going to reveal that at the end of days that's the ultimate revelation is how evil itself is a form of goodness and it reveals the ultimate good and it really even metaphysically it is simply a corruption of goodness but it's made out of goodness like evil literally is goodness and that's what the ultimate revelation will be that everything bad that happened in your life was good not that it only like helped you achieve the good but that there's an aspect of goodness within that itself very very deep idea so if evil has to always have be sourced and rooted in goodness then it can't be absolute evil there always has to be an aspect of goodness left and therefore can never be tough which is completely removed it can never get to say where it's completely shed completely removed from its root because that wouldn't exist and it wouldn't be that it wouldn't be able to have existence because in order to exist i have to have a makamura to have a mukkami you have to be rooted in some aspect even if it's only a little bit even for all the way at chin and it's all completely covered completely corrupted as long as the root is good you can exist but once you get to top where you're completely disconnected it's the fullest fullest expression of evil that can exist second reason is free will in order for us to that free will there has to be some aspect of goodness if the world is so shattered there's no iota of goodness left we have no chance of choosing good so the only way we can overcome evil is if there's some light some goodness left and the third answer is that would be impossible to rebuild that oneness because only something rooted in goodness rooted in perfection can reattain that perfection so for example we've talked about many times how the gemara and nina deflament on the base says that when you learn collateral clue and the woman you forget it but it's still there inside yourself it's just hidden and our drop in life is to reattain that perfection we've talked about this many times during the arizona the vilna gone talk about how there's always three stages first stage is the inspiration that perfection next stage is you lose it and the third stage is you rebuild it you re retain it for yourself you earn it yourself but it has to still be there at root in order to rebuild it you still have to be connected to it at root and the reason why evil can't be complete is because if evil was complete then it would no longer have a root of perfection and goodness and we wouldn't be able to reattain that state of perfection we wouldn't be able to reveal the ultimate goodness reveal the ultimate ones that achieve our ultimate perfection because it would no longer be our root because we'd be completely disconnected from it and that's why never lets evil completely succeed he always leaves a little spark a little root like obviously the ultimate root but that root of goodness so it can return to its true state and that's really the beautiful idea that gives many different michelin but and this will honestly blow your mind so the first easy example of this idea is getting sick so when you're healthy you're in your root state you get sick but as long as you're still alive you can get better right meaning what you can recover and revert back to your healthy self that's the idea okay simple idea but there's a more powerful example of this idea and this will blow your mind blow your mind it's death because death is never complete if death were complete would not be able to occur would it be this is so beautiful created a way that at the very root of your guff and your neshama the root of your guf and shaman reside within this world always otherwise it wouldn't be able to rebirth in this world so you have an eternal root in your body and your soul in this world and it's the idea of at least in your body what's the idea in your body it's the lose bone so the body breaks down decomposes disintegrates you're done the bones also the loose bone mr kumar talks about many places this loose bone always remains intact and that's what stems from the loose bone the part of your body that is infinite will eternal and cannot break down cannot die and the body regrows from that and the svara by the way is powerful as far as that the luzon only gets its sustenance from the food from the food that you eat on matshabas so think about that here's the the beautiful idea it's it's amazing mortality remember we'd speak about the ramban says mortality and the fact that we die stems from adam having eaten from the eats and us right of them ate from the asia that's when on friday the loose bone was unaffected by eating from the tadas because the loose bone only gains its sustenance from the food that you eat on matsai shamas so the itadas didn't affect the lose mug and therefore the lose bone remains unaffected and remains immortal unbelievable so you have an immortal aspect of your gut of your body then the shambhas eternal aspect in this world obviously you have five saints you have the nephesh there's an aspect of the nephesh that remains eternally in this world and that's the hevla de garme the vapor of the bones and let's mention it's talk about this it's the lowest level of the nephesh that remains connected to the loose bone so it's the aspect of your soul that's connected to the aspect of your goof and those two aspects the level of your soul is connected to you that fish is really connected to your entire goof but the nephesh of the nav flash being the lowest part of the netflix that's connected to a loose bone and those two aspects are the eternal aspects of your body and soul in this world from which cresamison occurs from from which three estimates occurs from and where you will come back into this world from and the idea is basically that the nephesh can never be removed from the body right why because the body can't exist without an effort the physical is always a reflection and expression of the spiritual so the physical needs to be connected to the spiritual norm for it to exist you are your physical body is an expression of your soul so if the body stems from and gets its form from the nephesh there has to be an aspect of nephi's still connected to the lose bone for the loose bones to stay here it's like homer and zura you need to have a higher form to the matter so they basically together create the foundations makes it unbelievable and here's where it gets even more amazing the base hamiktash has the same idea and this is in the social you can find it actually if you want to look on page 251 the same idea of death and occurs for the baseline what so what's the part of the the the body that will never be destroyed from the basal mintage i'm sure you can guess it the kotel the kotel is the loose bone of the basement is the part of is the part of the goof of the visa maintenance that will never be destroyed what's the part of the shama it's the shrina which still rests there they have the garment so to speak is the part of a car's borough is still manifest in this world and that's most importantly connected to the hotel in the makkah and together they create the foundation upon which the third base i make this will be rebuilt if that doesn't blow your mind i don't know what will that that's just like unbelievable i'll tell you if you want a cool sparrow a cool proof if you want the stone that yonkov slept on and parched yankov sleeps on the stone and slovak later incorporated that stone into the base of my dash what was the location of that stone from which then inserted into the base of mntash the location of that stone was done lose where else did we hear to lose from oh yeah lose bone lose in the basement the cocktail is still residing here wow unbelievable the base that makes literally has its own loose bone if you want to think of it it's also cholesterol cholesterol we're in gullis and we're going to obviously bring the gula we're in the iqv's it's the the lowest level that that we've come to but we're never going to sink beyond beyond repair we're always going to have hope we're always connected to an eternal life source and we basically have our own lose bone and that's that's really the conclusion is that there's there's always a root good a root light in every situation event and there's always hope there's no such thing as beyond hope there's no such thing as giving up there's no such thing as it's you know called quits it's hopeless and i'll give you a couple other just really quick examples before we wrap this up and bring this back no noah was that last spark right college broker destroyed all the evil indoor mobile but ensured that there was one last spark left to restart the world moshe when kashmir was going to restart khloe's role from moshe rabinu obviously moshe convinced not to and there's a deep idea that which was helping moshe become the leader who wanted claw israel in order to do that he had to threaten to destroy kaiser so moshe would basically say no i want claisro meaning it was a leadership principle that moshe had to become a leader that wanted to be leader of clients trail and only by threatening to destroy clients role was moshe going to defend them to the point where he could become that leader that's a whole nother idea we can talk about that different time but hakka sparrow who threatened to start over clydesdale from moshov you know like that loose bone like that last spark that would restart and i'll give you one really fascinating thing which you can think about in terms of the relationship we talked about already the relationship between roshana and pesach so the world starts in resham but it really also starts on base this same exact principle applies to other we're not going to go into right now but we can give the same whole shear on how under is this the where the inspiration fades where it's a month of death it really other was the point of spiritual death that's why haman was so happy that the lottery that the poor fell out on other because other is the month of spiritual death think about it moshe died another the seventh of another and elves the last the last month of the tishrei year and others the last month of the nissan year and if moshe died another it's it's if you look at some sources moshe's death represents the death of torah in a deep way and haman was excited this is going to be the death of client's role that's why there in some sense has such a a really tragic muslim a tragic theme until we realize that the tragedy of utter has been it's flipped that instead of being a point of death it's a point of life as opposed to being a point of end point is a point of rebirth because not only did moshe die in other and seventh of other he was also born then not only did torah die in other motions but other than became the point of rebirth of torah what was it it was the birth someone's at the door my eyes gonna get it but what happened torah became reborn in other through what the birth of torush valpara kimu the kiblu klaisrel accepted torah and that was not only the not only did we count for the death of moshar benin but we took it to the next level which is the ultimate beauty of this idea that it seems like it's the end it seems like there's no hope it seems like it's destruction it seems like everything's done and oh my gosh it became the exact op as it became the point of rebirth became the point of taking it a step further which is a beautiful beautiful idea i'll share one last example those who are taking notes this is uh obviously you see how everything interconnects how you can add these to your files one last example is this interesting principle akash bar who sent us into galas we talked about hashem sending us in tagalos hashem sent us into goals after 850 years but he's supposed to send us into goals after 852 years so the big question that hazel asked is why did hashem send us out of the area to throw two years early the principles is important it's fascinating right because what happened in order to save us and the principle is like this the pasta on the torah says that after many years inert israel we're going to become completely disconnected from hashem that's the passage if you want to look up it's puzzle cafe and the puzzle says when you will have when you have been there for a long time you will grow corrupt and you'll do evil so if you want to think about it's interesting the context of this is that it's discussing how cliche will come rhyme and enter into the malcolm of eric israel so again we're talking about malcolm and once we get to entering into makkah mighty shell hashem is telling us after many years we're going to get so far from that original ideal the original light that we're going to become completely disconnected and we're going to cease to exist that tough we're going to get that tough forget shin we can get that tough so therefore crushed particle is going to kick us out in order to save us so what's the source of 852 why 852 years so the governing gittin and elephant sanhedrin and aflame and says that it comes from one of the words in that passage here you see a literally a little example of gematria kumar adds up to 852 and it means that you will have been there for a long time it also means the sink comes from the same same route as yashan which is which means old and it means sleep what's the connection so there's basically this is the svara for our disintegration that's why we're going to break down it's because we're going to have been there for a long time and there's a strong we're going to fall asleep remember what i talked about how when we're in goddess and we don't fully appreciate and tap into the fact that we need to connect bachelor welcome we get comfortable we go into deeper goals and deeper goals and deeper goals it's that same idea and there's two forms of aging one is zucking which is when you get old by growing and gaining in wisdom and you become better and better your mind becomes more elastic you become greater as you age as you evolve and really zakking stands for zac someone who's kona becomes about but you can also grow old by becoming a yosha someone who grows old and starts falling asleep someone who starts forgetting why they're here starts just living and being and existing but not living with purpose not living with passion not striving that growing not contributing their lives to christians not contributing their time energy and focus to increasing the guillory in the world and that person just gets tired gets lazy and that's the source of this 852 years where we just grow old in the wrong way so why 850. because the college park who sent this out after 850 that's two years early what's the idea so just to count right we have 410 years in ancestral until built it and we have 440 sorry until slo-mo 410 years of the first place at mcdosh so that's 850. so why did i crunch probably because after 850 shouldn't be 852. yeah i think you can actually see this in the gemara dimensions and yoma def testament so this far should be quite obvious right now it's so that we don't get to the absolute end point 852 is when we cease to exist that kashbach took us out early so we don't get to the point of absolute destruction so that we still have that root we're still connected to that root and we still have the ability to return and come back not tough shin not tough so here's the question okay i understand the idea hashem sends us into us and makes us lose our malcolm so that we can actually preserve our malcolm and reconnect for malcolm and come back to hashem so gollus as we've been explaining is a tikkun you lose your makkum but you're still connected to malcolm and ultimately you'll come back future malcolm but it should be 851 years 952. so the we're not going to get into it now this is a a classic amateur principle which is that all the components of anything creates a oneness and that oneness also has an extra gamatium so we've talked about many times however if destroy explains when we take pieces together and you fit them in the right way it creates something which transcends some of its parts we talked about how the seven connects to the eighth how you know good muscles of radio put the radio in the right way connect all the pieces together what do you get a radio frequency human being connect in the right way you're alive you can exist as a living being what happens you have you can have a soul which resides within the body of that which is transcendent that which transcends the physical body so when you have 850 and you connect that all together the cola when you basically put all the pieces together of of camacho which literally numbers are pieces you put the pieces together of the number you can always add one so really because 850 is 851 and crossbar took us out one year before we left that is more of a parenthetical idea you don't need to re it's not like such a big question it doesn't need to be 851 but if you want to say okay i want to get to the very end point before i charge properly kicks us out why isn't a 850 also equals 851. now let's bring it back full circle we live in this world it's a physical world we need to connect our welcome we need to connect to our own malcolm in terms of our own self our self-worth ourselves value our self-purpose why we're in this world what did you learn neither 30 be while you were in the womb what did you learn you learned culturally the village says you learned your torah your purpose what you were supposed to accomplish in this world why are you here what are you living for what's your purpose that's what we need to be thinking about how do i connect to our how do i connect to my place in this world why did that country will create me why is a college broker creating me right now what am i here for what can i do what can i learn what can i become what can i contribute how can i think in a more developed way how can i become a greater version of myself how can i become more aware more present more passionate more excited how can i just develop my middles how can i build better relationships how can i just think about all the aspects of my life and just make my life a project and fall in love with the journey how can i start loving growing and if i love growing how can i start loving it more how can i start taking it to the next level it's we need to think about how we can become better we need to realize that you have help you have hope and it's never ever too late and i'll share a story right now which i've i've shared before and i'm sure that at least 50 of you have heard before and if you haven't heard this this is an amazing amazing story if you have heard before there's no such thing as hearing this enough times the story goes like this there was a man who's on train and he looked really nervous he looked really nervous and there was an old man sitting right across from him who said listen you look really nervous is everything okay is there anything i can do to help the young man thought about from it and said listen there's nothing i have nothing to lose i might as well just tell you so basically i'm staying on the train right now and i'm awaiting something really important because i grew up in in a religious jewish family and my parents gave me everything love support encouragement and i became a rebel i hated them i hated judaism i hated myself i hated everything i wouldn't go to school i wouldn't darvan i wouldn't learn i disrespected my parents i cursed them i was horrible to them and i stole from them and i lied to them and they kept trying every single day and they were loving people and i wouldn't have any of it i rejected everything and it got to a point where i just was ready to leave i just didn't like them i didn't like what they stood for i was just unhappy being around them and i let them know it and one day i just got up and left and i started a business with some friends and i went completely off there that's it until a couple months later my friends so to speak i thought they were my friends they backstabbed me and they stole all my money and they completely blindsided me and i lost everything i lost the friends i thought i had i lost all my money and for the past couple years i've been asking favors from people trying to make connections trying to make it and no one's ever been there for me i lost everything i have no reputation i have no money and i was gonna give up i was actually considering ending my life and i was on the brink of taking that last step when i realized there's one connection there's one last possible source of hope that i haven't thought of asking in the past couple years and it's my parents i haven't spoken i haven't spoken to them in three or four years they even crossed my mind to ask them because why would they have how have they helped me i haven't shown them any love respect care dignity never answered their phone calls never answered their letters one time i think they tried to visit me and i went out the back door i i've been the worst son you can possibly imagine why would they why would they help me but i had no other options and i was losing help very quickly so i sent them a letter and i said next tuesday i'm going to take the train that goes right by your house and if you're willing to take me back put a white flag on that tree in the front yard i know i don't deserve it i know i've been horrible i've been disrespectful i've rejected everything you stand for and i have made your life miserable ever since i was young but i'm begging you to help me i have no one else i have no other options everyone else has turned their back on me and i'm just asking you to please forgive me and i fully understand if you can't i feel understand if you don't want to have anything to do with me because honestly if i were in your position i would rip up the letter at this point i wouldn't still be reading at this point in the letter i'll know if you are still reading but if you are thank you for that but if you don't want to see me then that's fine just don't put a white flag on the tree i said sincerely your son he turns to the old man he says right now i'm i'm on that train it's tuesday and we're about to pass the house it's on this in the street and i'm getting really nervous as you can tell the old man says if if you want i'm happy to look for you if it would make you feel a little better i see that you're literally shaking and uh the younger man says that that would be amazing i can't look i'll be honest with you i i'm about to pass out i can't look and it tells older man in about two blocks it's gonna be that house you just look on the right let me know a minute goes by and the old man is waiting he's looking and all of a sudden he gasps and he says you have to look you have to look the young man says what do you mean he says you have to look yourself the young man looks up and there wasn't a flag on the tree there were hundreds and hundreds maybe thousands of white flags white towels white shirts anything you can imagine the entire tree was decorated from trunk to the top you couldn't see any of the tree anymore all you see is white gets off the train embraces his parents and he asks his parents i don't understand i don't understand why in the world why are you taking me back and the parents tell them a story story of a soldier who goes off to war and he's about to come back home and he makes that phone call i have a friend he's missing a limb missing an arm missing a leg deformed face the parents say please don't bring him home next day see the casket cry because they didn't realize he wasn't talking about a friend he was talking about himself the parents told him we will never make that mistake because a parent loves their child and a parent will never give up on their child there will always be a place for you in our home we will love you no matter what we never stopped we never will there will always be a place for you and that's ello that is elo we are in this malcolm we're in this world and we're in this world because hashem is willing us into being hashem is thinking about us right now hashem wants us to become great to achieve our greatness to fulfill our potential to connect with him to think about him to bring his presence into this world to connect with the people around us to bring light and goodness into this world and you know what those ideas sound fluffy they're not start living with those ideas in your life light goodness purpose vision dreams accomplishment growth energy excitement meaning live a life of purpose live a life of vision because that's what l is about it's a time of dreaming about what your year is going to be like creating big goals then creating a concrete step-by-step plan how are we going to actually make this year different a devour torah is nothing if you don't become someone different afterwards if you don't think about how to actualize how to make it the reality how to put in the work so that we are living with a higher vision not just living with a dream inside of what we want our life to be like but making it something we are actually doing something we need to do and l is a time where we realize that we will always have a place we can always become greater when you're never at that tough we are never lost there we are never a lost cause it is never time to call it quits you can always achieve a higher level of yourself you have so much in you you have so much in you and now is the time to start thinking about how to bring it out how to start going back to that root source of who you are the root source of reality connecting to your personal macomb connecting to akashbarhu on an infinite scale and you have to realize that as much as we fail in life we are never a failure do not identify yourself by what you've done wrong you are you are built but salmonella kim you have extraordinary greatness within you and once you realize that you've done something wrong but you are not that what you have done that root you were always something extraordinary you're perfect and your job in this world is just to become who you really are what you're capable of what you saw in the womb the vision of what your greatness is what you need what your unique purpose is you start living life with passion and you start testing yourself out what skills with talents what can you do what can you accomplish what's your helicopter what can you become passionate about what can you become excited but how can you live on a higher level you start to realize that not only is there a place for you but there's a place for everyone you start helping other people find meaning and purpose in their lives you start drawing other people in and that first stage is always there's a place acceptance making space for someone else not making them what you want them to be not saying oh you're only my friend only my child only my loved one if you do what i want you to do but you start with that unconditional love because that's what does for us now unconditional love hashem is our makkum and it's hello it's time to tap into that so my brother to all of us is that we tap into we tap into the fact that l is our ear michael claude l is our makkum it's an opportunity to connect hashem in the deepest way any of those evidently and when we connect that shaman the deepest way when we love hashem we start to connect to ourselves in the deepest way as well and we connect ourselves in deepest way we connect our shaman in the deepest way it's a never-ending cycle increasing self-awareness increasing greatness just make your life a journey and make this l the first stage in taking your journey towards his ultimate destination dream big have a vision then create a concrete plan so that this l becomes the beginning of something extraordinary