Rabbi Shais Taub Live Call-In Show ☎️

All righty. We're live. Have to do it. Yeah. What's on the screen? You guys see me? Tell me if you see me. You got it. They see me. Okay. So, listen. There's a little bit of like uh technical stuff going on over here because we're trying to get the phone system working. I personally don't even care if the phone system gets working because if we can't have phone calls, I will just I'll do a freestyle rap. Would you like to hear my freestyle rap? Actually, I've been working on it even though I'm an actor. Oh, that's just to crack myself up. But no, we are working on you know what that is. Even though I'm an action star sometimes I'mma act bizarre. Anywh who working on the phone system. It's my crystal. Anyhow, we're working on the phone system. Trying to get the phone system working. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And I'll just fabang with you guys. Orange cream cocoa cola. I made a braha earlier and um I want to share something with you today. How about that? Um I want to share a little Torah with you. I'm actually going to pull up the uh para. You know what para is? Parasa pinos. And every day there are seven aliyah of every weekly Torah portion. So there are seven week seven days of every week. So every day of the week we do another aliyah. So today is the fifth day of the weekish. We're doing the fifth aliyah of pinas. That's interesting. It's talking about the carbon about the sacrifices in the Bameikdosh in the holy temple that stood in Jerusalem and uh it says interesting Ben Isro should command Hashem is speaking to Moshe to Moses command the children of Israel and say to them esci my my offering, my food, the for the altar, a pleasant odor doesn't literally mean like the odor, but means it's pleasing to Hashem. You should guard meaning be diligent, be careful to bring it to me at its time. But more accurately, means on its festival. The word means a festival. like um we call the yamim, we call the Jewish holidays or the khagim, we call them or may hash the festivals of the year um or the intermediate days of the festival, you call it the um mundane days, not exactly the full-on y days, but may maid means festival. So it's interesting because it's talking about the Corbin Tomid. Tomid means constantly and it's called the constant offering because it was brought every single day. Once in the morning and once in the afternoon first Corbin, first offering of the day and the last offering of the day. It was a communal offering brought on behalf of the entire nation. So what's interesting is that the verse says on its festival but what are you talking about on its festival you do this every single day even on a regular day not just on special days like uh Josh Gordon all of a shell would say not just on Cinco de Mayo whenever he makes an example of a uh yam if he always says Cinco de Mayo it's interesting by the way speaking to one of his kids. Forget where I ran into him, but he said, "You know, this year in our sh we didn't say Cinco deayo in honor of my father." I'm like, "Are you serious?" He said, "Well, it was also pesak sheni." And it's funny that year fell on Cinco de Mayo. At any rate, soi the commentary says he has to clarify because the word maid means a holiday but here it doesn't mean a holiday because it's every day. So he says behold y every day who hatim is the appointed time for the constant offerings. So it seems like it's a little bit of a paradox. By the way, can you make it so that your WhatsApp doesn't cling every time a thing comes in? No, it's that your desktop is your WhatsApp desktop. Every time a text comes in, it makes a ding. Oh, that's not me. Okay, give me my headphones. I'm an action star. Hold on. I put on my headphones. So, it's a little bit of a paradox. Oh, I can hear it now. It's a little bit of a paradox that it's Why did I just hear music? So, do you know that I just heard music? Okay. By the way, it's the three weeks, so please don't play music. Every day is the moyade is the special time of the timid of the constant offerings the regular offerings perpetual offer offerings. It's a little bit of a paradox because if it's a that means it's a special day. If it's bulim it means it's every day. How could it be a special day and every day? How can it you feel you feel the you feel the paradox? You feel the tension of the paradox. How could it be a which means a special day and a every day? Special day or every day? Extraordinary or ordinary. Which one is it? But of course, what is the answer? The answer is that this is the way we are meant to live our lives. that every day can be a holiday when we serve Hashem constant. That through the constant service of Hashem, there's no such thing as an ordinary day. There's no such thing as mundane. It's all holy. It's all special. It's all a holiday. How you like that? I'm reading in the comments. Orange cream cola. What? Yeah, you heard me. Orange cream cola. So people were asking about the stuff in the background. They were like, "What is that?" Show you something interesting. So could you help me out? You see the orange and pink uh tile? Not the rambom pink monoto, but the orange and Yeah. Yeah. Bring it over here. Okay. Um Oh, you're going to show it close. Okay. Show it close to the camera. Uh there's no light on it. You got to have to shine light on it. Maybe use your phone to shine some light on. Okay. It's not in focus. H There focus. Okay. Uh now it's out of focus. Get it in focus. Yeah, now it's in focus. Okay, great. All right. So, I made that. That's some art. That is some custommade art. Shay tab custom made art. I did not sign it. Not looking to go into the art world, but I I made that. And I made it based on a famous story. a story about the great rabbienutz. Um, and I'm going to tell you the story. I'm actually gonna pull it up online. Yeah. Uh, where is it? I'm gonna pull it up. I'm gonna tell it wrong. Okay. Anyways, the story is like this Abashutz who is one of the great scholars of the modern age. When I say modern, I mean, you know, from the past 500 years. Um, he was challenged by a potit by a landowner, by a baron, whatever you call them. Yo, what? Just say it to me because Yeah, I know. I see this place. Yeah, I know. I see it. Yeah. So, uh, they he was going to make a decree to to throw all of the Jews out of his town. So, Rabian came and he begged him, you know, like, "What can I do to stop it?" And he said, "Um, oh, here it is." Oh, the so the the the governor of the town of Mets was going to throw out all the Jews from the town. And so, it would be innocent. So, what could I do to stop this? And so the the governor said, "Okay, um here's what uh here's what you could do." Um hold on a second. Yeah. He says, "How many letters are there in the in the sentence?" I know a lot of people say, but the whole sentence is the Jewish people are they live on for eternity. So he says, "How many letters?" The governor asked uh neighborh how many letters are in that sentence. So he says 60 and he said how many words does the sentence contain? He says 17 words. So he says now tell me how many Jews live in Mets? says 45,760. So he says, "Great. I want you to write 45,760 times." Meaning write it one time. Write that sentence one time for every Jew in the in the area of Mets. And I won't expel them, but you have to do it on this paper. And he gave him a tiny little paper, you know, like this big. Anderson sat in a corner. And within five minutes, he came back and he said, "I did it. It's called a snaking puzzle. Basically, get it in focus. Not in focus yet. It's not in focus. Now it's in focus. On this in this puzzle, there are 45,000 and more combinations of how to follow the track. People, you have to hold it longer longer there so people could see it. Okay. So, you have to let people see you. Basically, there are 45,000 different directions, ways, routes that you can do to on that one page. On that one page, 45,000 different possible combinations how to spell um you know, you take it's called a snaking puzzle. You like take different turns, detours. If you're mathematical, you'll understand what I'm talking about. If you're not mathematical, you'll probably just be frustrated and annoyed. At any rate, so that's one of our cool artist pieces. You can put the piece back, by the way. So, thank you so much. Um, I hope everyone enjoys that. Now, you'll know what it is when you see it in the background. Okay. Do we have a caller waiting for us yet? Okay, so one second. Um, caller waiting. Norma. Okay. Fine. All right. Norma, welcome. >> Hi. How you doing? >> I'm fantastic. How are you doing? >> Okay. I was I you know, listen to you. I just started listening to you actually. >> Um I was wondering I've you know going through something right now. >> Okay. um dating somebody for a long a while, you know, over over almost like a year and a half. We were about to get engaged and he had passed away suddenly. >> Oh my goodness. >> Um out of nowhere. >> How long ago? >> I had no >> When did that? >> Two months ago. >> Oh my goodness. >> Two months ago. >> And we were both had never married before. So this is Yeah. This is like a crazy situation. >> Devastating. devastating. Oh my goodness. And it was totally unexpected. >> Totally unexpected. Totally unexpected. He was actually going to eat dinner by my house on a Friday night and he never showed up and I didn't I never I never knew what happened till I had to find out. >> Oh my goodness. >> It was It was a Yeah, it was a crazy situation. It was really not expected. Like I had no idea. >> Did he have family? Did he have family or >> um he wasn't really that close to them, but he did have family. >> I mean, did a lot of did a lot of the responsibility >> fall on you during the ensuing like crisis, I'm sure, of >> dealing with this. >> Um actually, um no, he his parents his parents a lot of it his parents >> they did deal with it. But um but I was Yes. But I I did Oh. Oh. Yes. 100%. I Yes. And it's it's just been extremely difficult. Extremely difficult, you know. >> Yeah. >> The whole situation has been crazy. >> It's a such a that wow. That's >> I just feel a lot of, you know, big trauma and I just wondering if I if I you know, it's possible to recover from something like this. someone who did everything for you and you know >> Yeah. Yeah. >> you loved very much. >> Yeah. Um it is certainly possible to recover but you know let's talk about what that means. Is it possible to recover? This is somebody who you were very close to. Somebody who you had planned on a whole life with which you're not going to get to live. And that's gonna leave a void in your heart forever. And I don't want to kid you about that. That's a void that will always be in your heart. Now, does that mean that you won't be able to have >> other joy? And you won't be able to >> have other love and and and connection and and relationships in your life. No, it doesn't mean that. But there is a certain void that will always be there. Um even if and God willing when you do move on and have you know you get back I I hope that you I mean marriage is such an important thing and I I I hope that you go looking for a suitable partner to to build a life with. Um and even when when you do you know obviously that that loss will always be a loss but no it will not hold you back from from living productively. Um, just respect the process. Respect the the morning process. >> Right. Right. Yeah. It's been crazy difficult, you know, non-stop crying and >> Yeah. I mean, it's two months ago, you said. I mean, >> two months ago. >> Yeah. >> I mean, look, I I'm right now >> and we're both at we're both in our 40s. Both in our 40s. >> Wow. And you were Neither of you were married before? Both were not married. No. >> Yeah. Two months is is is very fresh. >> Yes. And I was the closest person that he had >> now >> because he wasn't really that close with his family. I want to I want to ask you a question if it's okay and sure I'm somewhat changing the subject but it is related to your question and and and that is King Solomon who was the wisest of all men he said that the living shall take it to heart. the living, those who are left here are supposed to take a lesson from the life of the person who passed on. So I know that you have this terrible pain, this this void, but are you able to tell me like a lesson or perhaps more than one lesson that you learned from from this person? Absolutely. >> Okay. I would like to hear about it. I think that's very important. >> Um I I just feel I just feel I could have um been I just feel like I could have been more um giving in the relationship and more >> Okay. I want to I want to guide you though because that's a regret. You're saying you look back and you you say I could have been more this or that. I don't want to go down that path for a couple of reasons. First of all, it's not helpful right now because what what has happened has happened. But secondly, that's not something you're learning from him. That's something you're learning from what you're learning from yourself. You're looking at your old self and saying, "I wish I were different." I want to know what you learned from him. Something that he taught me how to en he taught me how to enjoy every moment of your life to the max. >> Were you on the call before? Were you on the show? I mean, were you listening before you came on the call? >> Um, very little. Very little. But I never um I was never on this call. >> I'm saying like a minute like like 10 minutes before you before you came on the call, did you hear what I was saying? >> Yeah. Yeah. Because that's freaky. I'm not sure if I was tuned on. >> Okay. So, I was reading from the weekly Torah portion. I was reading a verse from today's Torah portion. This is very freaky. And uh where it says that you should bring the constant offering. It's talking about in the temple the the daily offerings uh which really means at its on its holiday, but it's not a holiday. It's every day. This is right before you came on. And I was saying, you can replay it and see that I'm not making this up. At any rate, I said it's a little paradox. Is it a holiday >> or is it every day? Because there are uh offerings that were brought specifically on holidays like, you know, on on Passover or on uh on shookus. But but this is the constant offering that was brought every day. So I said, you know, there's this really beautiful teaching that when you're serving Hashem, then every day can be a holiday. That's what I said right before you came on. >> Wow. >> Yeah, >> that's that's very funny. >> Yeah. Tell me more about how he taught you that. I mean, aside from the fact he probably said it to you, but like how did he illustrate it? How did he show you? He always enjoyed himself no matter what. Like he always like just as long as he was having a good time, that's all he cared about. Like every time he was out, he knew how to enjoy himself. That's what he did. And he taught me that also. >> What if you went out and things didn't go like the way you planned? Like you're supposed to have a picnic and it rained. >> He would he would do it on the phone. He would, you know, we would argue on the phone a lot, but um while we were out, he would he would he would never argue. >> What What would he do if things, you know, didn't go the way that he planned or there was a unexpected uh problem? How would he deal with it? >> Oh, he would he was uh he had a you know, he had a um he was moody also. like he, you know, he was um he did have a he did have a temper, but when he was out, he knew how to enjoy himself. He did, we did argue a lot, but um but when he was out, he knew how to how to have fun, how to enjoy himself to the max. To the max. He didn't care about anything. >> Yeah. He didn't care anything. He he just >> Yeah. He He just um he was good like that. >> Yeah. >> And he was also very giving. He was also very um giving, always giving to people, always giving charity, always >> you know, >> always having a good time. Other people have a good time. He was feeling good. Making other people feel good. >> Yes. Always. Is that something that people >> Is that something that you naturally do well? >> Making them feel good. Not as good as he did. Not always. >> Mhm. >> Not always. >> And what about what about having a good time? >> Is that something you're natural? >> I can't say that. I I can't say that always, but most of the time I do. Not as good as he did, you know. >> Is a whole other level. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> All right. So that that those are a couple of things that you learn from him to feel good all the time and to help other people feel good. >> To make people Yeah. to >> make people generous. >> He always made >> knew how to make people feel good. He was always very generous with everyone. >> Is there anything else you learned from him? What else I learned from him? Um, thinking what else I learned from him. Can't think of anything this moment. >> Okay. But those those those are two great things. So here here's the next thing I would like to ask you. Being that he no longer is in this world and can't do things in this world anymore, but you are in the world and you can do things in the world. What can you do that he would have done if he were still here? He would this I guess I would make a difference in people's lives the way he did. >> Exactly. In the way that he did, meaning specifically by following >> even a waiter. Yeah. Even with the waiters and the restaurants, he he knew how to make them feel amazing. Like one reader even wrote him a letter how much he he'll miss him when he when he's not going to work there anymore. >> Oh my goodness. Wow. >> I had Yeah. I had tears coming down my eyes because it was just so yeah the way yeah even the waiters loved him you know people he was just an amazing person and um yeah he was a little moody you know he got into his mood sometimes but >> yeah I hear that >> nobody's >> he had a very good heart he had he had a very good heart very very good heart and he was very sensitive >> and like I told you this is a major major loss and it's going to be with you for your whole life, even if you have a successful and fulfilling life, which I I'm sure you will, but there will always be that that that void. >> Um, but what I would like to advise you to do is to really try to on a daily basis, at least once a day, be conscious of trying to do something the way he would do it. and specifically these lessons about having a good time and having helping others to have a good time the way that he would do that. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And making people feel good also. He made he always made people feel special. He made people feel special. >> Yeah. That's a great thing to make people feel special. >> And >> Yes, he always did. >> Yeah. And and you know, just taking the time to notice people. >> They Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you give a great example with the waiter because a lot of people know how to flatter, but they'll only do it for someone they can get something out of, >> but you know, when it comes to like a waiter, they're like, "Yeah, whatever." You know, >> he was extra nice to the waiter and his doorman. Extra nice to those people. You know, that's what I that's when I knew he was >> good. Yeah. Good heart. >> Yeah. >> Very good heart. >> So, you should carry that on. That's his legacy through you. Living through you. Yes, I'm going to try. I am going to try. >> You're not going to just try. I'm sure you're going to do it. I'm sure you're going to do it. >> I'm going to do it. I'm gonna do it. >> You have He gave you that lesson. You have it in you and now >> you just have to bring it out. >> Exactly. >> Yeah. >> Exactly. I will. I'll bring it up. >> Yeah. Okay. I want I want to wish God willing. Yeah. And I want to wish you continued healing. >> And if you have to cry, I'm going to cry. You know, there will be sad days because it is a loss. And uh yeah, keep on spreading that love and that that care and that consideration for others the way that he taught you how to do. >> I will. >> Okay. >> Thank you for the the call. Thank you. >> Thank you. Thank you, Norma. Okay. >> All right. >> Have a great night. You will. >> Okay. >> All right. We have a lot of callers tonight. I'm always blown away by the quality of the people who call in. You know, it's like I always expect who's going to call just, you know, somebody making a prank call, making, you know, some troll, some prankster, but it's always like real people with like beautifully profound insights. I I'm always blown away, just really humbled and and grateful and blown away by the quality of the calls that we get. Thank God. Okay. Uh our next caller on the line, uh Mrs. B. >> Hello. >> Hello. Are you with me? >> Yes. Hello. >> Hi there. So, what's going on? >> Hey. Uh my teenage son is nervous to come home from camp and my heart hurts for him and for myself. >> Let's talk about it. >> Um do you know why he's nervous to come home? Yeah. He doesn't feel belongs in the family. He doesn't want to be part of the family. >> Okay. >> He wants to be different. >> So, it's not school stress. It's home stress. >> Yeah. >> I have good news for you. >> You want to hear the good news? >> Yes. >> School stress is hard to fix because what are they going to do? They're not going to listen to you. They're going to do whatever they do. I'm saying the school does whatever they do. They they don't change. If your kid isn't fitting in, I'm sorry. This is what we offer. But home stress, you could actually fix it because um it's your home. So, we could actually Yeah, I think we can accomplish something here. >> Hopefully, I've gotten this um >> this great good news >> a while ago and I'm still stuck. >> Okay, but let's let's let's talk. You mean you you say you got this great news a while ago, meaning somebody else told you the same thing? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> That if the problem's at home, you could always fix it cuz >> it's your home. >> Yeah. So, we're trying to fix it and um I guess it's forever. >> Okay. How long has he felt um you saying he he doesn't feel at home at home, which is ironic, >> right? >> Why why is that? Um, he doesn't have a good relationship with his father. Um, he doesn't talk to him. >> Okay. >> And I'm like in the middle man. >> I hear you. I hear you. This is tragically common. I can't tell you how common it is. Cannot tell you how common it is. And I'm a big believer in uh not wasting time and not wasting energy. So, I'm not going to comment on things that your husband could do differently because he's not talking to me. If he were talking to me, I would give him some advice. But >> if he's not talking to me, then I'm not going to talk about him. >> I Why? Because it's a waste of time to to give advice to someone who's not even talking to you. >> So, let's focus on Yeah, let's focus on you. >> Is that the major thing is that he feels uncomfortable because of the the relationship with his father? He also wants to be different on the family. So he doesn't like the family's different on him. >> What does it mean different? >> He's 15. What does it mean different? Um what's >> Uhhuh. You know, I I I used to write a column in Ammy magazine, an advice column, and you're giving me flashbacks to an advice column that I wrote probably 10 years ago. because it was a very similar thing. A woman wrote to me and said that her teenage son is not happy at home because he doesn't get along with his father. And I mean, I I haven't looked at this column in in 10 years, I don't think. But uh I wonder if what I'm going to tell you now is consistent with what I wrote then. Um I I think I told her your number one responsibility is to create a safe environment at home. You have to do everything possible to create a safe envir emotionally safe. I don't mean physically obviously physically safe but I'm saying emotionally safe a judgment free zone place where he can relax and feel like he is cherished for himself. That's your number one responsibility and you have to do everything possible to create that for him. And if you tell me that no matter what you do, you cannot guarantee an emotionally safe environment in in the home, then your next responsibility then is to find him somewhere else to live because he has to be in an emotionally safe place. preferably by far the number one place for any child to be is with their biological parents. And I'll say that and I'll say it over and over and over again. I don't care who will judge it or be offended by it. There's no question that the number one best place ideally ideally for any child is with biological parents when that is however sadly not possible for whatever reason. Okay, then we have to do the second best that we can do for that child. So I guess that's the question. Can we create a completely emotionally safe environment for this child where he can feel like he can be himself and not be judged and not be pressured and not put down and not called out, made to feel different? Can we guarantee that or do we have to find him another situation to go to? So I would say that um he also feels extremely um safe is a strong word. I wouldn't say not safe but you know not comfortable in a very strong way because of u our living conditions which is not that terrible but he thinks it is and he wants to be a lot more comfortable in his own space which I cannot give him. Um, and he'll drive me off the wall >> because of it. >> Yeah. >> Um, so I have to stay strong and I know that I'm giving him everything I can and the rest is not in my hands. >> What does he want to do? He can't stay in camp forever. What What is What are his thoughts? So, he's talking to me and he's expressing his feelings and like I said, he's nervous. >> Okay. >> He doesn't know. He's like >> he's like, "What am I going to do with Shabas? I'm going to go crazy. I'm just not going to keep Shabas." Like, I don't I don't think you want that. I'm like, "No, I don't." >> Right. >> Correct. Yeah. >> Can he go stay in a dorm? Can he go away. >> I asked him if he wants to go to another out of town in dorms, but he doesn't want to stay where he is. >> So then he doesn't want Okay. So what are we going to do for him? The home has to be a safe place for a child. Completely safe. >> Mhm. >> Completely safe. And he's already, by the way, he's telling you, >> he's telling you, it's not a threat, by the way. I just want you to make, >> I want to make sure you all know this, and all the people who are listening now, >> I want to make sure that they know this, too. >> He's not threatening you that he's going to stop keeping Chabas. It's not a threat. He's actually being pretty self-aware and telling you the truth that he sees >> what is going to happen. Listen, a human being is not a robot. We're not machines. We have a certain finite capacity and when that capacity is used up, you know, the deficit's got to be going to be taken from somewhere. So when a person is using all of their emotional energy to survive because they feel under threat just being in their own home, they can never their body can't even fully relax when they're trying to go to bed because they don't know when they're going to be maligned or attacked or judged. that takes a huge toll on an organism physically, not to mention emotionally and spiritually and mentally. And yeah, then things like keeping shabas, which are things that we would do if if we had more emotional surplus to devote to it, but you know, when when we're completely uh drained, when completely emotionally exhausted, yeah, some of those things don't happen anymore, even though we would like them to happen. So, he's telling you already like his emotional battery is running low or he's he knows that it will run low when he's home and he's letting you know already that it's going to affect his his his his observance. So, I mean, come on. What are we going to do here? Just going to say there's nothing we can do. >> I don't know. Maybe I should like turn over the our apartment and give him some private space somehow. Some way all the kids are going to be jealous and not handle it. So that's going to cause more problems. >> Yeah. >> Got to do something for him. Is he the oldest? >> Yeah. you you got you got to turn this around because um you know I'm not I'm not trying to be scary here. What I'm saying is you know they say little kids little problems big kids big problems. >> Yeah. >> So you know he's your oldest. So he's the one where where it's most noticeable. His problems are most noticeable because he's the oldest. But I promise you that >> if he's just like the main symptom bearer, like you see it in him the most because he's oldest. But whatever it is that's unsettling to him, it's going to affect the younger kids also. And it's already affecting the younger kids. You just don't see how it's affecting them yet. So what I'm saying is like if you don't fix it for him, eventually you're gonna have to fix it. I mean, at some point you're going to have have to fix it. So, let's fix this sooner than later. >> What What could I do? I I took myself to a therapist and to see what I can fix for myself in my relationships and um I think I got to a very good place to the point that I think the younger kids are not um suffering as much >> and um things have a lot a lot changed. That's what the most I can do. I'm not even so concerned with the physical part of it. Like I don't know. Like listen, we're on like a live show. People are listening. I don't want to get too specific, but like I'm talking to you and just talking to I'm imagining like, okay, we're talking about a two-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn. Don't say yes or no, by the way, but I'm imagining a two-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn with with with seven kids. you know, you know, the oldest is 15 and, you know, the the youngest is 18 months and you got seven kids in a two-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn and uh you know, without even central air and you got the the window rattler uh AC units, you know, that's what I'm imagining, right? Don't say yes or no because uh you know, the Nunics don't have to have to figure out everything, but what I'm saying is to me that's not even the main thing. Um, the main thing is the emotional safety because like kids can grow up in a two-bedroom apartment with with seven siblings and be happy. And by the way, conversely, kids can grow up in a mansion where every kid not only has his own bedroom, but his own bathroom. I've seen it. and be absolutely crawling the walls with being completely deeply uncomfortable because the the the emotional energy in the home is toxic. So to me the main thing is not even that you know the physical space he's asking for the physical space as a as a place to escape from the emotional tension but if he didn't have to escape from the emotional tension then he wouldn't need the physical space. Right. So, it's taking him time to realize that things are not the way it used to be. Um, we have to prove it to him. It's not going to be so simple. Hopefully, you know, with with the time >> things are better. >> Start to feel that. Yeah, definitely. Um, but he doesn't know because he is still in that fight orflight mode and it's going to last for a long time. >> I got it. So, you're saying a little bit different now. You're saying that actually it's not such a stressful home to live in, but it used to be >> right now. Right. >> Well, what does right now mean? Like, >> I'm saying no. Oh, you know, over the past few years, it got better. Up till two years, let's say, it got much better. Yeah, >> but he he's not aware of it. >> Why is he not aware of it? >> Um, so maybe a little bit because he's talking to me and he's expressing himself and that's a new thing. So, he's definitely aware of it on some level, but he's still very afraid. I think maybe, you know, he's a 15y old, he's the oldest son. The oldest sons are third parents. They're little adults. >> I think you can have a mature conversation with him. And you can say, "Your fears are legitimate. I'm not going to gaslight you and tell you, "Oh, no. Everything's fine." I know exactly what you're talking about. And I admit that there were issues where the house was stressful in the past. We've really, really worked on that, and we're going to continue working on that. But it had an effect on him to the point that he wants to change and he doesn't like the fact that now he's different and he wants us to be like him. >> Well, you can have a mature conversation with him about that and say that part of being yourself means we don't have to be like you just like you don't have to be like us. Being yourself means everyone has to just be themselves. This is who we are. That's fine. >> So you are and that's fine. The point of our home is that we're a judgment free zone. So you know if we could only be at peace if everyone were the same, then that's not judgment free. Judgment free is that everyone can be different and no one's going to be pressured for it. >> So I'm expecting him to accept me as me just like I'm accepting him as him. >> Yeah. I mean let's let's clarify what that means though. You know, it's there's a huge difference between you accepting him and him accepting you. And I want to explain the difference. Your accepting him is as crucial to his life as water, as sleep, as food. A parent's acceptance of a child is as vital to survival, to healthy survival as as a physical need. He needs your approval. But if you flip it, you don't need his approval. >> You're trying to teach him to accept you because >> it's a good thing for him to learn. It's good for him, right? It's a life lesson for him. But it's not like you need his approval. It's not like you're gonna die if he doesn't approve of you. >> But a child will die >> either literally. What do you think all the overdoses are? What do you think the suicides are? Children do die >> from a lack of parental approval or they die emotionally. They die inside. They walk around dead inside. So he needs your approval. You don't need his approval. Mhm. >> You need to teach him how to be accepting of you because like you said that's for him. That's for his benefit that he learns to be a tolerant person >> and also he learns to be a self-confident person. He learns to be you tell him be who you are to the contrary. Be who you are. But being who you are and being confident in who you are means you don't need other people to be like you in order to if you believe in it then do it. Mhm. >> I think >> Yeah. >> Yeah. There's a there's a lot of growth that can happen here. He he's I would rely on the fact that he is mature. He is intelligent. I would just have a very very transparent conversation with him and let him know that you know your number one priority is that he should feel safe and yeah that's it. >> Um I guess when I guess Turkey is just one more question um I guess Turkey is when he's in the thick of it. I know it's going to pass and it feels like it's going in the right direction. >> Mhm. >> Um it's just that when he's getting overwhelmed and put thrown it all on to me it and I'm like, "Okay, what do I do now?" >> Yeah. >> Like I'm stuck. >> But that's a job. That's that's that's a mother's job. You know, that's our job. >> Our kids do put a lot of pressure on us. They do have expectations. They do they do look at us as if we can do anything and it is a lot of emotional pressure. But that's why you got to believe in God to be a parent because you got to turn around and you got to pray and you say, "Hashem, I'm just an I'm just a finite little being. >> Please fill me with some of your infinite power because I need to take care of my kid." >> Yeah. Makes me feel like a single parent. But it's not. Every parent needs to do it. >> Yeah. Yeah, we're we all need to rely on God. We're all relying on God because we can't do it on our own. Can't do it. Even people who have every advantage where both parents are on the same page and uh they have uh a big house and every all the things and they have aunts and uncles coming and helping they still need to rely on God because raising a child requires infinite power and infinite power only comes from an infinite source. >> Okay. Thank you so much. >> Okay. All right, let's go to Do we have uh a caller waiting? Yeah, Jason is on the line. >> Jason, >> hello. Good evening and thanks for having me. >> My pleasure. How are you doing? >> Oh, I'm doing wonderful this evening. I'm in the Midwest here. It's about 100 degrees, but we're surviving. >> Where in the Midwest, do you want to say? >> Uh near Kansas City. >> Near Kansas City. On the Kansas side or the Missouri side? Missouri side, but I've lived on both. >> Very good. All right. I was in Kansas about a year ago, but way in the middle of Kansas. I was in Lawrence. That's at the middle Kansas, but it's been about an hour outside of Kansas City. Right. >> It's a Yeah, it's about 45 minutes. It's a very interesting town. It's definitely great to visit there. I lived there for about five years. >> There's a painting on the wall of this studio. actually not where you can see in this shot, but on on the other end of the studio that I got in Lawrence, Kansas. So that's there's a there's an object in the room I'm sitting right now that comes from Lawrence, Kansas. Isn't that >> I love those synchronicities. That's amazing. >> Yeah. All right. So, what's going on? Well, um I'll just preface this real quick um with just a quick background. I experienced a spiritual awakening about three years ago. >> Um completely flipped my life upside down. Um um changed all my belief systems. Started waking up at 3:00 in the morning and meditating out of nowhere, having visions, having insight on my whole life. Um you just saw the world completely differently. Um that's a quick version of it. Um but you know it's it's been quite the path since then and and changed me and I've had to you know work with those uh um all that knowledge and being able to see through things and intuition um >> yep >> and you a lot of things had to exit my life at that point you know so of course um you know marriage house job a lot of those things left and I have a young child >> um and um been on the path since then and it's it's been a crazy cry. But um you know, I'm I'm super grateful for the whole thing and um um you know, I can see all these things that happened to me and and how uh it's actually benefited me. You know, when you get on the other side of it, it helps. But um >> um one big thing's been coming up recently, and I know there's previous trauma on that, but I uh had a job that recently closed down a few weeks ago, and um I have a lot of um fear and anxiety that come up um about um finances. Now you know of course the spiritual side of me doesn't doesn't like money and I you know you know I I try to I try to not let it rule my life but it's also something that's very much needed in this world. >> Yeah. and um trying to live my life and go dayto day, but I I do wake up sometimes in complete fear. You know, I could lose my child or this and that and and it overwhelms me and I like I like to speak like I I'm above this, but when I am in it, I am certainly not. I am fearful, you know, and it and and you had a couple videos that popped up for me and I saw it today and I and I, you know, I just appreciate any input on it. >> Well, it's very interesting to me that you had this very intense spiritual awakening. I mean, very intense, relatively uh intense. It created an upheaval in your life. Um, you know, so on one hand, you had this really intense spiritual awakening, which seems I mean, you're saying it happened a few years ago, so it wasn't like something that was a fleeting thing. It's still with you. It changed your whole lifestyle. Um, and yet at the same time, you're still experiencing fears around money. So, it's very interesting to me. I I don't know the answer to this, but I have a I have a question which is that's like interesting. Why do you think that you had this major rearrangement of of of the way you see life and yet the money thing still triggers you? What's up with that? Well, I think because I struggle on blending my spiritual life and I guess we would say normal life together. >> Yes. I think that's a very >> hard for me. >> That insight really resonates with me based on things that I know about you. And do you know how I know things about you? >> How >> I'm not psychic, but I listen. I know things about you based on what you've told me. And what you told me is that when you had your spiritual awakening, it was massively disruptive to I mean, you told me you it you lost your family over it. So it it what what you just said really resonates with me as true that you have a difficulty with you called it blending. I might call it integrating uh the spiritual with the regular because when you had this gift and I do think it's a gift of this massive spiritual awakening, you weren't able to integrate it with your everyday life which to me like the the pinnacle of everyday life is is the home. So what you just said about yourself I I think is very uh insightful and it resonates with me as being completely accurate based on everything I know about you based on what you've told me. >> Does this make sense to you what I'm saying? Does this >> it does. >> So I'm just wondering I'm thinking out loud here. I'm wondering how much of your path in front of you has to do specifically with the challenge of integrating the spiritual into the ordinary. In other words, let me say it like this. Anyone can be spiritual if they take an oath of poverty and celibacy and they live on a mountaintop and uh you know it's very easy to be spiritual that way but it's very hard to be spiritual when you are having to show up on a dayto-day basis doing adult things in society having regular responsibilities much much harder to stay spiritual much harder to be transcendent while you're also present in the in the here and now. So I I'm wondering if like this the money thing is just a symbol of the challenge that's in in front of you to integrate specifically to integrate the spiritual into the mundane. >> Yes, I'm with you. And um you know I mean I think the reality is it's all spiritual. >> Well yesum. Yesum everything is spiritual >> from moment to moment even but >> but there are two modes of spirituality. There's the overtly spiritual >> and then there's the hidden spiritual. Overtly spiritual is like >> the miraculous, the supernatural. Then there's the hidden spiritual which is the natural, the the dayto-day which also is is is a gift and and is straight from God, but it it it it requires more maturity to perceive it. I I I I'm wondering like this. I'm just again I'm just thinking out loud but regarding practices that would help you to integrate your spirituality with your everyday life. What I might even call your embodied life. Does that make sense to you why I would refer to it as your embodied life? >> Yes. >> Good. Okay. I want to just because there's other people listening I want to explain it to them. You know speak about spiritual life. You know, that's like the life of the soul. And you know, where is the soul most comfortable? Well, certainly not in a body. You know, the soul is light. What's it doing in a finite little container? You know, >> um but uh yeah, we have a little I don't know. I just lost the video feed over here. Something happened. Okay, one second. Let's get that fixed. Uh, at any rate, it's it's it's a funny thing, you know, to be a soul in a body. Um, and yet the creator in his infinite wisdom dispatched us here for a reason, knows what he's doing. There's a purpose to it. And you know in some ways this is the ultimate spiritual uh accomplishment is to find peace in embodiment. So I I would like to talk to you about like maybe some practices that would help you to integrate your your spiritual your intense spiritual awareness into everyday embodied life. Does that sound like it would be an important piece of the puzzle at least? >> That sounds wonderful. >> Okay. Okay. Okay. So, >> what? Okay. >> Yes. >> Now, just is the What's the video feed? You don't know why this is happening? Okay. Is this trying to fix it? Okay. Um, you know, it's it's interesting that money is a trigger for you because money actually is part of the the healing here. Um, you you said you don't really like money and I I get why you don't like it because you're a spiritual guy or at least you've become a very spiritual guy and money is a distraction. I would encourage you to start incorporating money into your spiritual practice. And the specific way to do that would be through through charity. And it doesn't have to be large amounts. When it comes to charity, the important thing is not the amount, but the frequency. meaning to practice charity as a as a regimen repeatedly throughout the day. In fact, I don't know is what's going on with the video feed because trying to fix it. All right, so the video feed right now is not working, but there's a on my desk. Nobody can see it right now, but on my desk there's a little canister and you can hear me rattling it right now. It's making noise because there's coins inside of it. But what it's for is to give charity. I keep it on my desk and before I give a class or before I do anything, I take some uh money and I put it in there and I do that repeatedly, multiple times a day. And there's something about the act of physical um not just you're you're you're taking money, you're you're you're changing it from one uh account to another, but there's a physical uh component of it where you reach into your pocket, you pull out the money, and you put it in the in this uh canister, and then when it's full, you take it down to whatever good cause it is that you're supporting. I think that might be very healing and settling for you to get your soul more integrated into your body. I love that and it's very practical and easy. I've actually, you know, thought want to do that and but that is an actual physical thing and act and I know how that can help rewire your brain as well. >> Yes, that's right. The repeated act sort of treads new neural pathways. >> Yeah. So, I think that might be very helpful. just it doesn't have to be large amounts even you know some pocket change but making that part of your your daily practice I think can be very healing and settling and be the beginning of getting your soul more comfortable in your body and feeling more empowered in your body >> yep and that's another big word is just yeah empowered >> because yeah I felt like I've lost a little bit of that and um um it's all intertwined. But yes. >> Yeah. And also another thing is that when you give charity, uh God pays you back. So if you're struggling a little bit financially, so by giving charity, you will receive more. Um again, it doesn't have to be crazy amounts that you know would be reckless for you in your position to give. It could be small amounts, but the repeated act will open up the pipeline to to receive financial blessings. >> I I love that. Uh and it's kind of opposite of what you think. You lose a job and you start to tighten up. But I I think you're 100% right. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's scary. You know, it's like we feel like we feel like it's the last thing we need to do is to to be giving away any of our money. But there's an old uh parable that a guy goes to the the post office to mail a package and they weigh the package and they tell him it costs uh whatever $5 to mail the package and based on the weight and uh you have to buy stamps. So he gives them the money and they take the stamps. They put they start putting the stamps on the package. Just stop. What are you doing? And they said, "We're putting the stamps. You just paid for the stamps. They're putting the stamps on the package." He says, "No, but the stamps are going to make the package even heavier." No, no, don't put the stamps on. It'll make it even heavier. So in his in his mind, putting the stamps on the package. No, that that's the wrong direction. We don't want to go that direction cuz it it would if it cost this much when it was this weight and now you to put the stamps on it make it even heavier then it'll make but and but the reality is no no putting the stamps on it is what's going to get it to the destination where you want it to go to. So giving putting the stamps is like giving the charity. It's not going to make it more burdensome. It's going to expedite it. It's going to get it to where it needs to go to which in this case really it getting it what is it and going where it needs to go to where what is where it needs to go to it's your spiritual awakening needs to become more grounded um specifically in areas of the material the mundane the the physical Yeah. Yeah. So, I really I highly recommend that that practice. I recommend it to everyone, but especially in your case. No, I'll start it right away and then of course you put it in there as the act and then of course give that to charity of some sort. Correct. But it's the act of putting it in one place, right? >> Yeah. And then you know you when it's when like if you have a like a container and you fill the container when it's filled you know you can go bring it to what whatever good cause you want be a local cause or whatever it is but just the point is to help others. You're helping others. You're helping either a cause or an individual. It really doesn't matter. The point is you're, you know, any act of of generosity is is charity. >> I love it. I love it. >> Okay. Good. Good. I'm glad that resonates with you. >> Okay. That's fantastic. >> You've been a ton of help. >> I'm so glad that I was able to to be helpful. I'm very grateful. >> And I hope somebody else was uh able to get some help from it. really that's the only reason I share that spiritual >> uh story is because you know I had to find people um similar things happened to I thought you I didn't know what was going on with me so I always I always share that in these types of groups in case it's happening to anybody else so they have somebody to relate to so >> absolutely absolutely >> and God knows how to arrange it that people who need to hear it hear it so you put it out there and you know maybe someone will be listening to the replay at 3 in the morning and they'll say, "Oh my goodness, that is so applicable to my life." Yeah. >> Yeah. Okay. Awesome. Thank you for >> Well, thank you for having me on and Yeah. And thank you for your input and have a wonderful evening and hopefully I'll see you in Lawrence, >> God willing, or in Kansas City or who knows where. All right. Be well. >> All right. Have a good evening. Thank you. >> All right. >> You are currently the only person in this conference. >> Okay. Old music. All right. That's not old. It's just a thing. Okay. Fantastic. So, since that little voice said I'm the only one in the conference, I'm assuming that means there's no other callers waiting. That correct? Did By the way, you said I would appreciate just talk loud. That's okay. Unless you're scared for your voice to be on YouTube. What happened? Why was there no Why was it Why was the test pattern on the screen for five minutes? You press something. You press something on your phone. I saw you pressing your phone. So, what was it? Could you explain it to me? You don't know what it was. And how did you fix it? Cold Sham to explain to you what you did. >> 321 motion. You see our gorgeous studio with all of our cameras and our fancy lighting and our mics. Who did this? 321 Motion in 10:42 p.m. He had an issue and he called Sham from 321 Motion and he fixed it for him. 321 Motion for all of your audio and visual and live streaming needs. The consmate pros. Yeah. All right. By the way, while the test pattern was on the screen, could they hear the audio? They could hear the audio. It's very uh quiet in the uh chat. By the way, tonight I don't really see a lot of uh don't see a lot of action in the chat, quite honestly, to be quite frank. So, what do you think about Elmo's uh anti-semitic rant on Twitter? What do you guys think about that? Why is it so quiet in the chat? You heard about Elmo? He says he got hacked. What? Post what? >> Post the live link on my Instagram story. Okay. You said, "Do you know that I'm an action star? Even though I'm an action star. Okay, I'm going to do that. I'm going to do just that. I could go I could go live on Instagram. Okay, how about that? I'm going to go live on Instagram even though I'm an action star. I'm act going live on Instagram. All right. I'm live on YouTube while I'm live on Instagram. How you like that? Yes, I am. So, someone's writing in the chat, "A lot of action." A lot of action. No, I don't think there was a lot of action. I think there was very little action, quite frankly. Hi. So, I'm on Listen, Instagram people, I want to explain something to you Instagram people. I'm actually live on YouTube right now. Okay. Hi. Okay. Listen. Um, listen. I'm live on YouTube right now. I'm going to ask you to go over there. See, when I go on YouTube, got like 26 concurrent viewers right now, like we say in Yiddish. And now I'm on uh Instagram live. I got 162 in the first 30 seconds. Okay, but listen. Listen, guys. Here's what I need you to do. All right. I need you to come over to Oh, let's look through the camera roll. You guys remember that one? Oh, that was fun. YouTube.comsoulwords. Okay, I need you to like go over please to my YouTube channel and come watch the live. I'm live on YouTube right now. Okay. Our Gemini Rabbi. That's right. I am a Gemini. What's wrong with Insta? What's wrong with Insta? We're in the middle of a Cuz I don't want to hold this. That's what's wrong with Insta. I'm not feeling like holding my phone. Okay. Sorry. We're on a live on YouTube. What? We're on the bonus segment of the Thursday night live call-in show on YouTube. They're writing, "Why can't we do live on here?" Please just come to come to YouTube. We're all over here. People are writing in the comments, "We're here. We're over here. We're over here." Someone's asking, "What's the deadline for someone call seeing in sending in a call-in topic?" I don't know. There's no official deadline. If you have a co a topic you want to call in about, send an email. I've said this many times, I'll say it again. Send an email to [email protected]. That's [email protected]. write a one-s sentence description of what you want to talk about just so that we know that it's normal. Um, and then we'll respond to you with the call-in information. Okay. What? I don't really follow what you're saying. Want them to email you? I don't want to confuse them. I already said that email special for tonight. We get a live caller. We're gonna Okay, fine. What's the email? If you email Soul Studio what? >> 7685. Soul. Okay. Soulstudio 7685gmail.com. Soulstudio 7685gmail.com. soulstudio7685gmail.com. If you send an email over there, we will give you the call-in information and you can call in and talk to me. Okay? All right. I'm going, ladies and gentlemen, from Instagram, I'm going to put my attention back to the YouTube people. Please come on over to YouTube. Please come back over to the YouTube. The pin, you see the thing pinned? YouTube.comswords. Come on over to the YouTube. I'll see you over at YouTube. Bye. And now discard video. Okay. Someone wrote, "I gave a good topic. A friend of mine asked me to a serious question, so I immediately responded to email you at 9:25. Lol. I wrote you on Insta." You wrote me on Insta. Okay. Let's see here. I'll open up my Instagram messages. Oh, you didn't write me. You voice noted me. You want me to play the voice notes? Okay. So, do you give me permission to play your voice notes out loud? There's a person who's just so everyone understand what's happening. Somebody who is writing in the YouTube chat is saying that she DM'd me in Instagram. I see that she did, but it's a bunch of voice notes. Um, do you give me permission to play your voice notes out loud on the mic and everyone's going to hear it? Probably not. You'll let me know if you're comfortable with that. I tried three times to donate. Link wouldn't let me. No, that's not true. Hold on a second. Charity.comrst. Okay, I'm sending you the link to donate. And thank you for reminding I just sent you the link to donate. And thank you for reminding me that I just DM'd you in Instagram that the the link and I'm going to write it here. Uh charity.com RST charity. Okay, we're trying to charity.com RSD. Okay, need pin message. I just pinned it. Did I pin it? Yeah. Okay, so JFYI, we got a a annual campaign. We're fundraising so that we can continue to reach 10 million people a month. It's not a joke. It's not a madeup number. 10 million people a month across all platforms. And we need your help. Charity.com, please donate. Oh, I'll tell you this. Oh, I did this last week and it was fun. If you donate any amount, even a dollar, I will read your dedication as long as it doesn't have swear words or hate speech or anything that's morally repugnant to me. But other than that, go to charity.comst. Charity with a d. Charity.comst and donate even a dollar. Doesn't matter how much you give. Um I will read your dedication out loud on the air. Yes, I will. I absolutely absolutely will. And that's no joke. Okay. Um, I have a good topic. Oh, I read that already. I would present it differently. Okay. You want to call in? So, send an email to Soul Studio 7685. Soul Studio or Studios? Studio singular. s o l s tu d io7685gmail.com tonight only. Send in your email right now and my son Yro will respond to you with a call-in number and we'll get you on. And you know what? Even if you are a troll, I'll talk to a troll. Why not? Go ahead. What? Just write a short description of what you want to talk about and I will get you on tonight. Let's see if anybody donated at charity.comst. charity with a d.comst. I don't see anything. I don't see anything. Not yet, at least. Yeah. Okay. So, uh what would you guys like to hear about? Oh, I should also tell you something about the way the comments work on on YouTube because I don't like uh harassment and a lot of immature people will go on YouTube and just write obnoxious uh comments. So, I have a rule that you have to be a subscriber to the channel in order to leave a comment. How you like that? It weeds out the uh the bullying, the cyber bullying. I hope you'll understand that I'm not in the mood to be cyberbullied. Not today or any day. If I develop a perverse desire to be cyberbullied, I'll let you guys know. What did the massochist say to the satist? Hurt me. What did the sadist say to the masochist? No. What do you think about that? All right, I'm going to check and see if any donations came in. Did any donations come in? You saw, did you get an email yet from anyone? Nobody even emailed Oh. Oh. Oh, hold on. I just got a I got a donation. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read the donation. Okay, hold on. A bunch of donations. Um, fine. So, this is anonymous. I see the name. I can see the name, but I'm not gonna say the name because you wrote anonymous. $36 from anonymous. There's no message here, but thank you. Thank you. Um, I'm not going to say your name, but anonymous. Thank you very much for $36. Another Gemini. I see your name. I'm not going to say your name, but I see your name. But you wrote your display name as another Gemini. 30 I mean $18 doubled. All the donations are doubled. So 18 becomes effectively 36. And he asks, "What was the email again?" What was the email? I'll read the email again. Soulstudio 7685gmail.com. soulstudio7685gmail.com. Okay. And anonymous, another anonymous. I see your name, but you didn't write your name, so I'm not going to say your name. Donated to the For the Cats team, which I love. Uh, wow. That's that's big. $17 recurring for 12 months monthly, which gets doubled. So, it effectively is $48, which is really helpful. And, um, the dedication very interesting. Um the the the the dedication is to a uh an Egyptian deity. And I think I am bound by Jewish law not to utter the names of such deities, especially deities of a place where we historically were subjugated and persecuted. So I don't I don't know what I can do about that. I think I'm bound by Jewish law not to you probably mean it jokingly. I don't think there are a lot of practicing Well, I don't know. Maybe there are. Um, do you have an opinion on any of this alien stuff coming out? I do. I do have an opinion. Um, I think there's a lot more information than what we are told about. I don't know if the government has actual proof of alien life, but my hunch is that if they did, they would not share it with us. Um, okay. Is there are they on? No, not yet. Okay. I think that we can't really trust the government to reveal to us. Here's what I think. I think that if the aliens, Here's my experience in life, that when you try to go through official channels, it always ends up being lame and then you just have to not go through official channels. I bet you the aliens are being gentlemanly and they're trying to go through official channels and they're trying to they probably are like, "Let's let's contact the government. Let's contact the leaders and let's go through the appropriate like they're trying to be polite. Let's go through the proper channels. And probably the government is like suppressing it and finally the aliens are going to have to just make themselves known to the to the masses. That's probably what's going to happen. That's my prediction. I wouldn't be too afraid of it. Um, I think if the aliens are hostile, yeah, I think they would have done that already. I don't think they're they're hostile. They're probably Look, I also think that if the aliens are advanced enough to be able to travel light years, I think they've also come to a place of a more uh enlightened worldview where they're seeking peace. That's what I think. That's my guess. What do you think? Okay, let's see if there's other donations. Not yet. Okay. Is there a call coming in? Any other questions, subjects for discussion? Anything on your mind? Anything troubling you? Anything you find disturbing? You want to talk? You want to talk anything through that? Well, we have a caller. Another Gemini. Our next caller is on the line. It's a It is another Gemini. And by another Gemini, that means in addition to me because I am a Gemini. How you doing, twin? >> I was born a few hours earlier. I just found out I would be also Kafales. >> Oh, you were born. >> Yeah. My grandfather's passed away. So, I was in Montreal for the funeral. So, we were going through all the birthdays in the yard sites. And my mother was 100% sure I was born in the day, but that would make me June 19th. But my father's not that bad, so it had to be at night. And then my aunt's like, "No, no. I remember you picked me up from school. We went to the mall and then your water broke and you he was born at nine o'clock at night. >> Oh, there you go. Okay. >> Okay. So, you Well, hold on a second. Where were you? Were you born in Montreal or you just visiting? >> Born in Montreal. >> Greenass was my sandic. >> But green glass was your sandic. That's But listen to me. In Montreal 900 p.m. could still be before in June. >> No. No. Skia now was just there. It was a >> Sure. Aid and change. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, don't make me don't I validated it this morning. So, don't make me go back. >> Okay. Base. That's bas and you. >> So, my mother's a Moroccan. So, so we were always grew up they they big on all the horoscopes and all that fun stuff. So, so when you posted that on Instagram, it was really validating because I've been saying it for a long time. >> Yeah, the Gemini thing, it has a real effect. >> Yeah. Kanye and Donald Trump. >> Oh, you heard about that? Yeah. Kanye and Donald Trump. Yeah, they're also Geminis. >> Geminis. Yeah. >> They believe they believe in what? They believe in whatever it is and they go to the end of the world to prove it. So, >> yeah. Anyway, so I have a friend, it's very important that we that we talk about it. I hope he's listening. Yeah. >> I have a friend who had a very tough childhood. Okay. >> And you you you said it 10 minutes ago that if it's not safe at home, it's >> not healthy. >> Y >> to say the least. Y >> and now Barashem is at a point in his life where things are much better albeit a little more alone but but uh not completely alone and he he got married and he's afraid to have kids because >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So, so he literally and I I just had a baby my second two weeks ago, three weeks ago, and I'm still tripping on it. So, so, uh, he asked me, you know, and I said, I don't want to I don't want to The last time he was in the tough spot, I I maybe didn't respond the right way and told him, you know, I'm not coming back for your funeral, so figure your out. Excuse my language. Sorry everybody, but >> yeah, we don't have we don't have the uh beeper. We don't have the you know. >> Yeah, sorry. We have the we have the broken screen. But so anyway, so I'm hiding in the bathroom so we don't wake the baby up. >> Yeah. >> Um so I just How do you How do you communicate to someone? You know, until I held my son in my hands and and and and you know learned the the brismer stayed up all night. I didn't it didn't click how how you know that there's no there's nothing there's no there's nothing that can compare. So how do you communicate that to someone who >> yeah but he's got fear can't communicate because yeah you can communicate all the beautiful ideas but when somebody is afraid deathly afraid you know fear is from a basic place and all beautiful ideas are in a in a more uh you know loftier part of the brain. So it's like when a person is when when the body takes over that's what fear is. It's fight or flight. So all the beautiful ideas he's speaking to the brain, the body can't hear it. So he's terrified. If he had an unsafe childhood, of course he's terrified. He's terrified that either he's going to continue the cycle of abuse or he he'll or at the very least he won't know how to raise a child lovingly because he didn't experience that. You he feels he can't give what he never received and he'll just I don't know just go out for milk and never come back. So he's terrified. I wouldn't try to tell him about the beauty of of parenting. He's not able to hear it. I think you what you need to do is help him to get over his fear. And not that you should get, you know, help him get over his fear, but encourage him to do whatever it is that he needs to do to get over his fear. All right, I feel it. I hear you. I hope he's listening. >> All right. Or you could just send him the link. >> I'm going to send him the link. I'm watching you talk to me from 30 seconds ago. It's kind of cool. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I get it. I uh Yeah, it's tough. It's tough. >> Yeah. >> All right. Thank you. Love you. Going back to the show. >> Wow. No one ever told me they loved me yet on the show. Thank you. I love you, too. I feel And I feel that it's real from you and I reciprocate it to you. >> I appreciate that. >> Okay. Be well, Gemini. >> You, too. >> I don't know your real name. I do actually because I see it in the back of charity. But we're gonna respect. >> Let me know when we're going to Tahiti. I'm not gonna stop antagonizing you about that. >> Oh, should I tell everyone about the Tahiti thing? >> Was two weeks ago, three weeks ago, I think. >> Yeah, >> we might have to wait till next year. >> Okay, I'm going to whip out the globe, but there's another caller coming on soon. Okay, but hold on while the other can you help me out with a couple things? Can you grab me the globe? Okay. So, we're gonna let my friend the Gemini, my beloved Gemini, I'm gonna let him go. I'm gonna play with the globe over here and we're gonna pull up the other caller. While I'm playing with the globe, we're gonna pull up the next caller. All right. So, >> thank you. >> Okay. Be well. >> Um, so here's the deal. We got Oh, there's a another donation. I just want to read this. Rocket, am I back? 1889.3 is here. I don't understand that cryptic message, but the guy gave $20 a month repeating for 12 months. So, yeah, you're giving $240 over the year and it's being matched by our matcher. So, it's $480 effective. So, or $480. I'll I'll read it. Rocket, am I back? 1889 is.3 is here. It says with a question mark. Rocket, am I back? 1889.3 is here. I don't really know what that means, but I hope I didn't read anything bad. Sounds just like a cryptic message. Okay, I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it. All right, so listen. The Holy Land is the top of the world. It's not the North Pole. Why do you think the North Pole is the top of the world? That's very arbitrary. Okay. So if you put the holy land on the topish on the top then there's something called the antipities. The antipities means anti-pods where your pod is like foot like podiatrist a foot doctor. If you're standing on any spot on earth so there's a guy in the exact opposite spot on earth his your feet and his feet are pointing toward each other. So what is and and that and that means the farthest spot possible from any given spot on earth. Like when we were kids, they used to tell us if you dig straight down a tunnel, you're going to dig to China. It's not exactly accurate, by the way. It's not. But anyways, what's the antipities of the Holy Land? It's in the South Pacific. It's near Tahiti. It's not Tahiti, but it's near Tahiti. It's over here in the South Pacific. So I want to get a boat. This is what Gemini was talking about getting going to Tahiti. I want to get a boat. go to the exact antipities of Jerusalem, meaning the exact opposite spot on earth from Jerusalem. Get a boat, get 10 Jewish men to stand on the deck of a boat and pray uh a minion, a quorum. And what we would do is we would stand back to back in a circle. You understand? You get it? The configuration, we all stand back to back with our backs to each other in a circle. Each person facing a different direction. And you're going to say, "Well, I thought Jews pray facing east." No. If you're west of Jerusalem, you pray facing east. If you're east of Jerusalem, you pray facing west. If you're north of Jerusalem, you pray facing south. You're south of Jerusalem, you pray facing north. If you're in the antipities of Jerusalem, then any direction you face is equidistant to Jerusalem. How you like that? Cool stuff. Do we have another caller on the line? Caller is on. Okay. Uh, you want to pull it up? Just pull up the call. What are you waiting for? What? >> Hello. >> Hi. You said I need I need my charger. My laptop is almost out of battery. Can you get me my charger? >> Okay. >> Hey there. >> I so uh thankful to hear it from you to actually speak to you. >> Is this the person who was DMing in Instagram? >> Different person. Different different person. Okay. >> Different person. Yeah. >> Okay. All right. Amazing. >> Okay. >> So, what's up? Well, um, my daughter, and I mean I have the same anxiety, but the thing is that I'm older, but my daughter, mine, mine has to do more with my daughter. She has, uh, well, they say that she has, uh, what do you call it? Autism. >> They say that she has autism. What do you mean they say? >> Yes. >> Who's they? >> Well, her, you know, her psychologist, her psychiatrist, and you know what I mean. >> No, you hold on. You said, you said it's already too loud. I was trying to tell you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm talking to my son. >> The caller's volume was too loud. I was saying turn it down, not turn it up. >> Oh, >> okay. Hold on. You're doing fine. Okay. Just you so just watch the level when she's talking. Just make sure that it's a normal level. Okay. Go ahead and talk again. I'm sorry. So, the the psychologist says your daughter has autism. How old is she? >> Well, she's 15. >> 15. >> 15. One. >> Five. 15. Okay. Mhm. >> All right. So, uh, and do you agree with that diagnosis? >> Well, I know that she does have I mean, well, they say that she's like at the high end of the the what do you call it the gosh? >> Can I tell you a secret? >> Spectrum. There you go. >> Can I tell you a secret? >> Yes. High-end doesn't mean that it's less of a difficulty for her. High-end means she's able to fake it enough that other people won't even give her sympathy for being different. High-end means that she looks normal to everyone else and she's secretly suffering on the inside. >> So, in a way, high-end can be way more challenging. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> At any rate, >> I mean, she >> Yeah. >> Yes. >> And so, you're saying she has anxiety, but you know, like her anxiety could just be from >> the stress of living in a neurotypical world that's not hospitable to neurodeivergent people. >> Yes. She feels like she doesn't fit in with anyone and she's been bullied a lot, too. >> I mean, yeah. So I homeschool her. I you know she asked me to take her out of school because she couldn't deal with it anymore. >> Does she feel safe at home? >> Yes. So I homeschool her. She's she's happy here. But the only problem is, you know, now she's she's The only thing is she's, you know, alone. She doesn't have any friends. We don't live close to a actual congregation. So, you know, it's it's different when we're out of town. Uh see, we live close to El Paso. So there is a kabad in El Paso. >> Greenberg. >> Um it it's like really Rabbi Greenberg. >> And then um >> in El Paso. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. Rabbi Greenberg. Yeah. >> Yeah. Um you know, but we we wait I mean we we were about like an hour away from there, you know what I mean? Um >> so it's it's you know it's a little bit more difficult to go to different functions and whatnot. um she's always wanted to go to camp and whatnot, but when we go to Houston, because I go to Houston often for a doctor's appointments, um we go uh we go to the Uptown Habach and you know, they know it's there. Everything's very it's very welcoming and very warm and just, you know, she she loves it. You know what I mean? I mean, >> Uptown Kabad in Houston. I'm trying to remember which which Kabad in Houston that Uptown is that is that Lazarov? Who is that? >> Who's the rabbi there in Uptown Kabad in Houston? I'll Google it. Trying to remember who it is. Okay. Just playing Jewish geography over here as well though of uptown. Um, let's see. Okay. Searching. Anyways, listen. Is she happy? >> Well, that's the thing. She's I mean, it seems like she's both happy and sad. And and it's sad because she has no friends here and you know, but happy. >> Yeah, it's kind of I just looked it up. Yeah, it's kind Okay. Shout out. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. >> Anyways, >> but but it is does she feel safe and comfortable at home? She I mean she does when it comes to me when it comes to my mom she feels a little more pressure because my mom doesn't even though yes we come from a Jewish you know ancestral line like my mom believes in Christianity and you know I mean before she wouldn't my mom doesn't push it on her or anything but my daughter just feels like you know we're like in an in a alien home kind of you know what I where there's like half the home is like dedicated to Christianity and the other half is like you know um just our little space you know for our practices you know all our my library of Jewish you know um >> books and whatnot and yeah you know for studying and whatnot and >> okay but listen the main thing is does your daughter feel safe and comfortable with you at home? >> She does. She says it with me specifically. And she says the problem though is she's had to deal she's seen since she was a little girl that I I have epilepsy. So she's seen me go through having seizures. So she says that she didn't like to be away from me because she's afraid that she's going to lose me. >> Uhhuh. Yeah. Okay. So, you know, you got to talk to her and explain it to her. Explain it to her what it is so she doesn't worry for you. >> She sounds like a very sweet and considerate girl and she cares for you. Yeah, >> it's just she she loves watching um your some of your um you know um lives when we do when we do when you do these call-in lives >> and different little like shorts that you have or you know what I mean like she she's it helps her a lot in her life. >> That's great. That's fantastic. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And I mean, I don't know. Well, see, the problem right now is that her and she was she was raised by me, my mom, and my grandmother, you know. Um, her father's not in the picture. >> Mhm. >> And my grandmother has had like dementia for the past probably, I would say, four years, but it's getting to the point where it's getting worse. My daughter at first was able to still go over and you know try to read to her and you know and and just do different little things with her even though she knew that you know that my grandmother wasn't well. >> Mhm. and um well her great-grandmother, right? And it it's very it's very hard for it's getting harder for her because of course my grandmother my great grand or sorry my grandmother I'm so nervous. I'm so sorry. >> It's okay. >> My grandmother um you know she's getting to this point where you can tell she is starting to age all of a sudden really really quickly. And so, you know, everyone in the family is, you know, obviously are arguing about things already and, you know, and it's getting pretty bad. And so, my my daughter doesn't want to >> attend functions with the family or anything like that, which I I understand, you know, I mean, it's for her, she says it's too much. It's too much and she can't handle it. like it's it gives her high anxiety, you know, and now it's just, you know, since my great-grandmother is getting worse, my daughter doesn't want to go visit her. And I don't know if that is like a a good thing or a bad thing because I'm being told by so many people, you know, from my family that, you know, I'm doing her wrong because of her age and I'm not teaching her that people pass away, >> you know, even the ones we love and are very close to. And I feel conflicted because I see I mean I feel the anxiety myself. You know I you know I have my own issues and and and you know but when I see it in her of course it hurts me more because I'm a parent. You know what I mean? And I'm just trying to do what I can to teach teach it well. Bring her up well >> and I'm I'm just I'm so conflicted. I don't know what to do because I love her and I mean even for me I I don't want to go visit either because she was my my grandmother was like the the only person I could really talk to you know >> honestly and truthfully my entire life. >> I hear you. um you know and my daughter growing up to have her my daughter was always so happy with her you know when she was a child you know I mean she's still a child but you know when she was a younger child so you know I feel guilty in a sense that I don't take her and you know now that I feel like okay maybe I should start going because everyone's telling me you're going to regret you're going to regret it when she passes away. >> Yeah. >> And you know, even you know, just put the pain aside. But the thing is that when it comes to her, you know, I see the pain in her too. And I see the anxiety in her too. And I don't know if it's good or bad for me to, you know, take her, you know, and and and see it or if that's, you know, if it's if it's going to be too much on her, you know, because just hearing about it, you know, hearing the family talk about it, she she gets very anxious and just it's like it's like she just wants to shut down. She gets anxious and she It's like she just wants to shut down or she she she Yeah. She she she kind of mutes herself. She puts her headphones on just, you know, watches whatever, you know, on on the her laptop, you know, or like starts drawing. She's she's amazing drawer, you know, and and you know, it's like but, you know, I I just I don't know what to do. I don't know if I if I'm doing the wrong thing, you know what I mean? And and it it's it's hard. I don't I don't know how to how to how to handle this. You know what I mean? I I don't know if it would, you know, I'm not trying to be a bad parent, but at the same time, you know, I you know, at the same I time I I I mean, I'm just trying to do the best I can for her. Like, I I I understand what everyone's saying. You know what I mean? And then I understand that they say it's going to be more painful, you know, if she doesn't go. And I mean, if you know, she when, you know, when my grandmother finally passes away, you know what I mean? >> And I I I hear it, you know what I mean? But I the thing is that if I if I feel the pain, you know, and then I see it in her and I can imagine only, you know, I can imagine her because she's younger than me. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? At least I can understand more, you know, but you know, her it's it's different. And you know, she she's very she can't handle not even hearing about, you know what I mean? And I don't know if I'd be if I'm doing her wrong by not taking her over to visit, you know, and if I should start doing it again because she doesn't The thing is that she told me she doesn't want to she doesn't want to see it. Okay? You know, >> she told you that. Yeah. >> Okay. So then there's no more discussion. She expressed her needs. She doesn't have a responsibility to go. >> Listen, she's a sensitive girl. You have to protect her. >> That's all there is to it. Not letting other people guilt you. You have to raise your daughter on, you know, no one else, no one else is raising her. >> Thank you. >> Yeah. Yeah. Hashem should give you strength. Continue to to be there for your daughter. Take care of her. You're doing a great job. >> Thank you. I appreciate it so much. >> Yeah. you know. >> Okay. >> That's I'm so glad that I was able to talk to you. >> Good. Okay. I hope it brings you some clarity. >> Oh, and by the way, it so interesting. But a lot of like good things have like blessings have come to me. Well, there's always blessings everywhere, right? >> Yes. >> But you know, blessings have happened, you know, recently, you know, um obviously from Hashem and you know how you're doing this campaign. >> Yeah. And my mom comes in and tells me like she's just randomly um two days ago. She's like, "I, you know, I I promised God I was going to, you know, give $200 to, you know, to help someone, you know, or like a charity or something." You know what I mean? Um >> and I just, you know, I just at first I just told her, "Well, you know, just make sure whatever." because I didn't want to bring up, you know, any like I don't I didn't want to bring up the whole Judaism thing, you know. I don't I don't know where we both stand on that right now still because it's always a back and forth thing. >> Yeah. >> Anyhow, >> yeah. So, you know, I I just kind of ended up messaging I mentioning it to her, mentioning it to her and um and she was like, "Yeah, that that's fine." And she's like, "You just, you know, just go ahead and I'll give you my card and and you know, you know, and put, you know, 200 and you know, and I was like, wow." I was like, "That's amazing." I'm like, "That that was Hashem." You know, Hashem, you know what I mean? Because I it it's >> I mean, I I was not expecting that at all. And I'm so thankful because, you know, I've been trying to do what I can, you know what I mean? and you know and then my mom just comes in out of nowhere and it's just like wow you know um you know we're able to you know help you know you know another contribution you know it's just yeah but um yeah >> I just thought that that was incredible you know >> yeah there's a little moment of practice divine providence >> yeah Yeah. >> Okay. I'm sending you my uh prayerful wishes that you should have strength to be to continue to guide your daughter and to take care of her. And um I thank you for calling in. Really appreciate you reaching out. >> Thank you. >> Okay. >> Thank you. >> My pleasure. Okay. >> We have another caller waiting on the line. Um, do you want to just pull up the next caller? Okay, we don't have a name, so just pull up the next caller. Say hi. Hi. >> Hello. >> Hey, how are you? >> Thank God. I'm doing well. I'm doing well. What's up? >> First off, nice to meet you. I want to tell you I how I found you. I saw a great clip you did on Instagram about Dr. Jang. >> Oh, very nice. Yeah, I loved it and I loved loved your take on it and the lineage you traced alcoholics anonymous. I am a huge huge participator and advocate of alcoholics anonymous. >> Great. Okay. So that's >> invol grace and mercy over 20 years over 20 years queen and sober. >> Amazing. Amazing. That's that's amazing. Okay, so what's up? What do you want to talk about? >> Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I lost my audio for a minute. >> No problem. >> I apologize. But uh yeah, I really enjoyed that and I sent that out to a few people including my wife. But I've had a a remarkable journey. I got sober when I was 19. I had 12 years of uninterrupted sobriety and I stopped working my program. Very traditional tale. I I went back out and relapsed. >> It's good for people to hear it. >> Four and a half years. >> People should know. >> It really is. It's something >> people have to know. >> Agreed. >> It's It's a disease that tells us every day that we don't have a disease. >> That's right. >> And I was back out there for 4 and a half years. And by God's grace and mercy again, I I on November 12th, 2004. And then I really did have a remarkable occasion. So, it's kind of neat to be able to jump on the phone with you. You know, I'm born and raised traditional Jewish family. My last name is Ginsburg. not Irish. >> But I my second time around, you know, miraculously, I I called out to Christ to save me and I was sober and I was saved and I've I've been a Christ follower ever since and it's been an incredible journey and I've been equipped and called to work in the industry. Uh been almost nine years in. We've got a sixfed medical detox residential treatment center in Powe, California. And it's just been an incredible journey, but it's so awesome to be able to get on the phone with you and say hello to you. appreciate you reaching out. Let me ask you, you you're saying you're uh from a traditional Jewish family. So, uh you put on fill in every day. >> No, I mean, yes. Let me let me qualify my comment. >> Okay. >> A reformed a reformed tradition. >> Okay, that's fine. But what I'm saying is >> so I apologize. >> No, don't apologize. I'm saying I want to encourage you to connect to your Jewish heritage and to do a mitzvah. And when you're doing your prayer meditation every day, which surely you do, I want to encourage you to put on filling. >> Hey, you know what? It's a it's a nice suggestion. I appreciate it. >> I I have no issue with the suggestion at all. And I I love my Jewish heritage, but I I identify really as a Christ follower and as a Christian. Of course, I'm a messianic Jew. I'm completed Jew, >> but I love the Lord and my life and path is committed to Christ. I hear you. But uh that doesn't negate you putting on fill in every day. So that's why I'm suggesting it does not. You're right. Well, thank you. I suggest I appreciate it. That's a good suggestion. I love suggestions. I am a product of suggestions. >> Ah, that's good. You learn how to take suggestions. Yeah, >> you've got to you've got to in sobriety if you're going to stay sober. >> Yeah. >> But it's it's really again, it's just I saw your live come on. I was really taken with you when I saw your comments. A bunch of people in our community were taken with what I forwarded to them. And it's I think it's really great that the Lord saw it for our pastor to cross and for me to get him in on the phone with you. But actually, I wrote a book a while back. I'd love to send you a copy. >> Okay. We'll we'll email you the address. Yeah. We'll have >> That would be great. I'd love to send it to you. >> Absolutely. >> I don't know if you'll read it, but whether you do or not, I'd like you to have it. >> Okay. We'll send you the address. >> Yeah. And I I'd love if you get a chance and you can check out uh the website for our treatment center. We're really able to help a lot of people. It's been a remarkable path and an incredible journey. >> Okay. We'll follow up with you through uh through the email. You said you'll send them an email. Come send the address. >> I'd love that. And I I I'd love to talk to you more somewhere down the road wherever it fits for you. And I think there's a lot of different elements in our lives that are parallel and congruent and for the better good. If anything we can do can benefit somebody else. Yeah. Okay. All right. Thank you for calling in. Thank you for sharing your experience, strength, and hope. I appreciate it. >> Yeah. God bless you. Nice to meet you. >> God bless you. Be well. Okay. We have another caller waiting on the line. Um hello. Hello. Hello. Hi. >> Hi. >> Hello. >> How you doing? >> Hi. Good. V Hashem. Um I'm call I we've spoken before not on um the call in >> where did we speak real life or on the phone or >> Yeah on the phone >> on the phone >> about other completely different things. I don't know if you even know me from this like what I called to ask >> I speak to so many people I I I don't I don't know if I would necessarily remember it but okay. No, no, just um but um this this question took like a long time for me to have courage to ask. I know I I usually listen in from the beginning, but I had something else tonight, so I know a few people spoke about their children. Um so I'm sorry if it's like a repeat. Um I have a three-year-old son and he's adorable, like the love of of of our lives, like an an amazing kid. um ever since before he was even born really. It's almost like it's almost like he didn't want to be here. Like when when I was pre when I was expecting him um we were told by our doctors that the pregnancy was not viable and that um we should terminate it. And we went ahead and we asked a lot of like um questions obviously to um to Araban and in the end we were told um no go ahead with it. What they're saying is not true. We switched doctors and bar hashem there was a beautiful healthy baby. >> Then he turned six months old and he developed like for very unknown reasons he developed like very strange symptoms. He stopped eating completely. He stopped sleeping. He lived a life of real chronic pain. Nobody where we live could figure it out. We actually went to Boston Children's Hospital which is like one of the best in the country. And he was part of like many studies there. and he had over 16 surgeries for two years just to keep him comfortable. Like just they were finding different things and they were doing exploratory work to try and figure out what was going on with him. Um and basically we're he's three years old today. He's almost four actually. And he a lot of things have been you know figured out here and there. He's been tinkered with a lot. Um but he has a very like residual heaviness to him. We obviously do a lot of therapy. He goes to therapy actually every single day, he has somebody who comes to the classroom with him. Like he is my entire life. I spend a lot of time trying to keep him happy. Um sometimes at night, like before he goes to sleep, like really two days ago, he goes to me, I don't like this planet. I don't I don't want to be here. He >> Hold on a second. I'm gonna interrupt you. I apologize. But he's three and a half, almost four, and he says to you, and please don't paraphrase. I I want to make sure you This is a quote. I don't like this planet. I don't want to be here. >> Yeah. I I I I wish. I mean, I >> This is your This is your only child, right? >> No, I have other children. >> Oh, how old are your other children? I have a five-year-old and I have a one-year-old. >> Okay. So, let me ask you about the 5-year-old, meaning the one who's older than this child, a boy or a girl? >> A girl. >> A girl. Did she or does she speak like this? >> No. No. My other two children are just very like like the only reason that I'm able to put so much into this child is because Barak Hashem my other two are just so No. No. He >> No. >> So then you understand that because you have a I want to make sure you have a point of reference. >> Okay. I want to make sure you know what normal >> I should have said that to you before. That's why I'm so tortured by it because you know it's highly unusual. Yeah, I do. And I and I there's like a I always feel like I'm dealing with somebody who >> he's also the the basic functioning mechanism, right? What we we need to >> listen between you and me. If he were born, if this child were born in another century or perhaps even in another decade, he would not be alive. >> It's only a miracle of modern medicine that he's alive. >> Yeah. And >> and but I'm a strong believer that God knows exactly where and when he sends souls. >> And this is a soul that normally would be >> too intense for this world. But God sent this child's soul to the world at a time when medical >> advancements would be sufficient to keep him in his body. >> But but the and and to follow what you're saying, right? Yeah. This child has never gotten a specific diagnosis. >> Correct. >> Even by the treated because medical diagnosis are all um tertiary. They're not even the real condition. Medical diagnoses are a description of a glimmer of a glimmer. They're never the description of the real thing. They're talking about the physiological manifestation of something that is ultimately spiritual. So it's >> yes >> the real condition >> is is is existential discomfort with embodiment. That's the real diagnosis. >> And and I know that you speak a lot about embodiment and and honestly it's the only explanation of this that has brought me any any form of comfort. Like my my friends always say to me, I I don't understand how you're comfortable with the fact that at the end of the day, you don't have a name for this. Like his stomach stopped working, but then it started working again. His lungs stopped working and and basically everything that they did was just to ease the comfort. And I I always picture him like I don't know what what's that flower. I I what a dandelion where you like blow out the >> Yeah. >> They they go scattering in the wind. like ever since he ever like came into my life, it was me just trying to run after the the like those those sparks that were flying everywhere. I just always feel like I'm dealing with a soul trapped in a body that is so uncomfortable. Yep. >> And doesn't want to be here. And I I am a very intuitive person. It is one of my strengths. I do connect very deeply with people and I understand them. And to me, it's it's living. And obviously, this is not something that I discuss with my peers or even my parents or it's something that's a very that I keep very close to the to the chest that I that I feel like I'm I'm raising somebody like that because I don't think it's something that a lot of people really connect to and I don't blame them for that. >> Not only they don't connect to it, it'll upset them. >> There's no reason to tell them. >> Yeah. >> No. and and but it is at the end of the day I I do go to bed crying sometimes that I I just feel like I'm I'm I'm raising somebody who's so who's so tortured who it's so hard to keep comfortable and I I was saying before right like and and what do we do here like we eat and we sleep and and we need that in order to function this child is almost four he there is no food that he enjoys he hates food he has to have he has a feeding therapist who sits with him and tries >> to get him to eat. He doesn't feel hunger. So if he did, he could go, he has starved for three days. >> He doesn't sleep at night. He's up most of the night crying. And it's a very it's a very strange thing. I've never heard of it before myself before he was brought into my life. But to raise a child like that and to stay focused and happy and grounded and I know that everything that Hashem gives me I I honestly feel sometimes I feel like it's such a compliment like wow I didn't I can't believe you ever thought that I could even do this. >> Yes. >> Help me a lot because >> it's a vote of confidence that Hashem picked you to be the mother. >> It's the biggest vote of confidence I've ever had. That's what I've turned around and said. But I'm somebody who needs everything so down on paper and so like like stamped and and here and stable and this is the most it's like an unstable atom like it's just >> Yeah. >> And it's very it is difficult but it's very re rewarding and I you know it takes a lot and I don't know what's the best way to keep him comfortable necessarily. Like I almost feel like I focus so much on his body that I also forget about his soul. >> Correct. That was that that's exactly what I was about to tell you. That was exactly what I was about to say, which is sounds like you're doing a very good job taking care of his body. You know, the body the body is sometimes more obvious. I mean, it it's usually more obvious because you see it, but then there's spiritual comfort that he needs. I think you speak to a kid like this completely transparently. You don't hide anything and you say to him, you know, you know that you're really a soul. We're all really souls. You're not different in that regard. We're all souls. You know that it's difficult for all souls to be in bodies, but God sends us here on a mission for a purpose. Everyone has a mission, has a purpose. That's why we're here. Um, and part of the comfort, and in fact, for a kid like this, this is much more comforting than physical comfort. Obviously, you should do everything in your power to give him physical comfort, obviously. But I'm saying sometimes what's ultimately going to really make him feel at peace is going to be spiritual comfort. And I think you have to speak to them very transparently about the fact that souls don't really want to be in the world, but they realize that God needs them to be in the world to accomplish something and that we accomplish that through through the mitzvah that we do. I mean, speak to him about mitzvah. I mean I mean do you do you speak to him about mitzvah? So yes, like like two nights ago when he when he had said that to me, I don't know whatever it was two nights or last night, I said to he also wakes up a lot during the night. His mind doesn't stop working. >> He's like like really he'll come and he'll commentate he'll ask like random math questions. What's 300 plus 12? Like he's very he doesn't shut off. >> Yeah. >> Um and I said to him, >> um you need to be here. Like your nisham needs to be here. I know that it's a crazy thing to say, but >> No, it's not crazy at all. Not crazy at all. No, not crazy. >> And he asked me, he said, "What does Nishama need to do?" That's what he said. He said, "What do I have to do?" And I said, "Hashem put you here. You have to do I spoke about I said, "I really I think you're going to love learning Torah. I really I think you have the mind for it. >> You should start already. You should start already." >> So, I did that day. I actually took out his olive and I started like opening the pages. He happens to be very cognitive. You know what they describe like, you know, he's had a lot of evaluations obviously done and they say that he has like a Porsche mind and a jalapy body. Like it's like his mind and his body. And >> they mean his mind I view it as his soul, but they're on two different planets. >> And it's a very difficult existence. But >> I'm very glad to hear that. I mean, I'm doing the best that I can. And I think I think that this like it's also an age where they're only starting to get in tune with their surroundings and mitzvah and Torah, but I really hope that >> No, but kid like this comfort here. >> This is this is exactly what he needs. I mean, really, you should be studying deep concepts with him. He's already deep, you know, and his mind is racing. The truth is he's so philosophical and deep that if you don't feed him with with Torah knowledge, he's just going to go off into weird places. So he needs >> That's my fear. >> Well, that that you have to stay on you have to stay um on his pace. >> What would you teach to a child of this age? Like if you would start with something, what would it be? >> Um maybe you know maybe Shahaben because would help him to to relax and feel at peace. I would literally take a safer shak and I would learn with the kid >> like like >> I'm actually really gonna start doing that. It's impossible for him to fall asleep. I'm going to do it with him. >> I would I would I would like like the most kids you read them you know like little kitty books about you know Mali wants to know is it time for Shabas yet or whatever but for him you you read them sha talking. It's very interesting that you suggested that because when I was going through ve like very difficult times with him in the beginning when it was like just very frazzled. Um there's there's a big there's a mashia and his name is Richay Morgan Stern. He's in and I kept calling him and I was saying I'm so depressed. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. And he kept sending a message back that my husband and I should read Shih together. >> Oh, there you go. I didn't take his but I didn't take his advice and I called him again and he said >> no at the time though now I have now you did it now I did okay >> so I called him back I was veryic and I called back and I said I'm still not coping I'm not functioning and he said but you didn't he remembered and he has hundreds of thousands of people who come to him a day like and he said to me but you didn't you didn't listen to what I said I told you what to do so my husband and I through this entire you know ordeal we started learning it together It's the one thing that we learned together. So I and it's the one thing that I make the time for like you know it's hard >> right now to be doing much. So I think that it's a beautiful thing to to pass on to him. >> Yeah. Oh, that's so interesting that you all it's they say right the cure comes before the >> the disease. So you already you and your husband both already study and Yeah. That's perfect. >> Yeah. We just started I think for the third time again. It's like something that we just keep doing on a cycle for for exactly this reason. So, wow. >> And I'll put in a shameless plug for my Shaim that you can watch on YouTube or on soulwords.org or on your favorite podcast. >> I do listen on Spotify. >> Okay. Very Oh, you listen. Okay. On Spotify. Shen. I forget what my podcast is called, but if you know Yeah. If you know how to find it, great. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> And there's some great ones. Vamuna and anxiety. got me through some very That's how I found you. >> Oh, very good. >> Actually, that's actually now that I'm seeing that's how >> the first video that you found of mine. That's great. And now now you're here. You made it through the pipeline. >> Funnel. I'm here. >> Yes. >> So, thank you. That was very uplifting. I really appreciate it. >> Okay. Listen, lots of nakas from all of your precious children and uh Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is a special special job here that you've been given and Hashem should give you strength. >> Thank you. >> Okay. >> A mean. >> All right. >> Thank you so much. >> Okay. Be well. >> Be well. >> Thank you. >> Okay. Byebye. Wow. Amazing. That's really, really, really, really amazing. So, do we have any other callers waiting on the line? Yes or no? No. Okay. No more callers. Oh, please include the link. Okay. Hold on a second. There's no link for Here's what you have to do. What What's your email? Is soulstudio atgmail.com. Send an email, okay, to soulstudio 7685gmail.com and we'll get you on the call-in show tonight. How you like that? And I just want to remind everyone the donations stopped coming in. So I'm going to remind everyone about the donations. charity.comstd please donate generously. All right you so someone else is going to be emailing you a number your email. What? Yeah. You Yeah. Using the slider. Yeah. Slider. Slider. Slider camera. I like that. The slider camera. Any other uh donations coming in? I'll read the dedication. You are a very special rabbi to Rabba. Okay. Thank you. I am just, you know, I'm I am me and everyone is different. Everyone is special. Everyone is special. That is the reality. Okay. We got any other calls coming in? Any donations? Anyone gives in even a dollar? If you give even a dollar at charity.comd again charity.com charity with a d charity.comd if you give even a dollar I'll read your dedication on the air. Uh, did you get the email you saw? You got it. You're going to queue it up. Pull up the call. I don't know. We have a special guest. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. But I ran out of orange cream Coca-Cola, so I need a little more. I'm trying to donate. Yeah. Okay. Donate. charity.comst. I'm on the site. Okay. Donate. I'll read your thing. I'll read you. I'll read your dedication. Please donate. By the way, if someone would donate $5,000 recurring monthly, the whole campaign would be finished. So, some of you are listening like, "Oh my gosh, nobody has that kind of money." And you know what? I used to think that, too. But there are people who are blessed with a lot of money. There are people who could do $5,000 on their credit card a month recurring for 12 months, and it wouldn't change they wouldn't have to skip a meal. I promise you, they it wouldn't change their lifestyle. So, if you're capable of it, please do it. If you're not capable of it, then that's clearly not what you need to do. Everyone has a different mission. Nothing came back. What does it mean nothing came back? Did you respond to her email? So, are you responding to her email? He's responding to you. Just hold tight. Just hold tight. Um, we're waiting for another caller to come on. While we're waiting for a caller, let's do a little drreidle. Yeah, I'm ready for a caller. >> Hi. >> Hello. How's it going? >> Thank god I'm okay. What's up? >> How do you how do not I don't know how to start this. Um, >> so basically I was looking for somebody like to call in to help because I'm kind of going through something right now and you were the first one to pop up. I'm not Jewish or anything, but I think you could help me at all. >> Okay. >> So, um recently I kind of relapsed. >> Okay. And um like right now I'm thinking about uh relapsing again >> and um how do you find like willpower? Because I'm telling myself I'm telling myself I just can't do it. And um I'm praying like >> today I was uh praying to God >> and I just can't do it. I just have so much shame. >> Yeah. So, I want to tell you something and you know this already, but I'm going to re I'm going to I'm going to tell you something you already know, but probably doesn't hurt to hear it again. You know, this is not about willpower. Not about willpower. What you think? You think you're just lazy and weak and you think you don't care? Think that's your problem? >> Let's be honest. >> Yeah. >> Is that your problem? You're lazy, weak, and don't care. >> No, I feel weak. >> But that's not the re But that's not the You're tired. You're not weak. You're tired because because you're being beaten down by this addiction, but you're not lazy. You're not weak. It's not that you don't care about life. You're dealing with something that's way stronger than you. And all the willpower in the world is not going to be enough to defeat it. This is way bigger than you. It's bigger than any human power. So, it's not that you should feel like, "Oh, I'm so weak. I wish I had more willpower than I'd be able to fight it." No, that's the addiction talking. The disease tells you that this is a matter of willpower. And if you would just muster up a little bit more willpower, you could defeat it. But that's not true. This is bigger than any human power. The only way to defeat this is with with a power greater than yourself. And the way that you tap into that is through surrender, not through trying to be tough. >> But there's this like it's just shame, you know? I can't >> I know. I know. But that's the disease as well is filling you with shame. There's nothing shameful. The disease itself is telling you to be ashamed. There's nothing shameful here. You're a warrior. You're doing your best. You're doing your best, man. You reached out to me. You You're trying. You're doing your best, >> you know, but your best is not good enough because you're a human and that means you're limited. Human beings are limited. So even on even when a human being does everything in their power, it's still not enough against this this monster. This monster is so powerful. But you want to know the good news? The good news is we have a power to draw upon that's way bigger than this monster. Not our power. Our power is limited. But it's God's power. >> Yeah. There's nothing shameful at all about your situation. You're not weak. You're not lazy. There's nothing to be ashamed of. You're doing your best. I just It's uh it's just you're tired tired of living this way. >> That's a gift. >> I'm not I'm not like I'm not like a complete addict. I I don't I haven't done this for a very very long time. But now I I mean I just it just happened and I just don't have any control. And >> okay, so I I don't want to tell you things that you already know, but being an addict doesn't have anything to do with how frequently you use. >> Yeah. >> Being an addict has to do with what happens when you start using. Namely that once you start, you cannot moderate. Yeah. >> So, you can tell me you only do this twice a year, but when you do pick up, you have no idea how how it's going to end. Well, you actually do know how it's going to end, but not the way that you planned on it ending. >> Yeah, it I'm just Especially because of this month, I lost somebody very very close to me. >> I'm sorry. And like here I am doing this, you know, like it's a shame for her memory >> and I just myself and >> Are you in a program of recovery? >> No. I want to really strongly recommend that you find a program of recovery, >> okay? >> Surround yourself with other people who can listen to you compassionately and who know what you're talking about because they've been there. I I want to strongly recommend a 12step program. It's not for everybody. Not everyone fits in there. Not everyone likes it. But I'm a strong proponent of it and I think you should at least try it out and it's a safe place for you to go. >> Okay. >> You're going to be all right. You're going to be better than all right. >> How How do I open myself up to God? You know, without feeling >> you're open. You're open. You know, the the way to get open is life beats you into submission. It's already happened for you. You're open. Go find these people. That's what I'm telling you. Go to a 12step meeting. Find people who are living a little bit better than you and listen to whatever they tell you to do. >> You're going to be good. You have my utmost respect. I want you to know that there's nothing shameful whatsoever. You're the opposite of shameful. You are a hero and I have immense respect for you. >> Thank you. >> Okay. All right. We have another caller. Get to our other callers. We have another caller on the line. Before we get to the next caller, I just want to read a dedication, a donation that came in to the charity.comst. Ashley Barish, but there's no dedication message. Ashley, you want to write in the thing? I saw you commenting on the YouTube. Ashley, so happy you called. We all need advice on this. Thank you, Ashley. Thank you for the donation. Um, okay. All right. Who was our next caller? Hello. Next caller, anonymous caller. >> Good evening. Good morning, Rabbi. How are you? >> Thank God I'm well and I'm really excited because I think that this might be Shabas Moram coming up and uh getting excited about that. What's up? >> I have I'm not sure how to articulate this. Yeah, I've >> been thinking about this for a while and this week >> something that grinds your gears. >> It's grinding my gears. is something that I've been like this week. I don't know why something I may have watched like triggered me, but this is something I've always been thinking about in a cycle breaking sort of thing where I find that in the uh from community and more right-wing from community, we use this and I'm trying to recall why I thought about it this week and why I wanted to ask you this. We've used the term, you know, don't make a which is desecration of God's name, >> right? I feel like we've used it as a >> bludgeon >> on our kids and students at school and I feel like in my generation and moving on to my kids I think they're a little more open-minded nowadays maybe not but like almost we've used it as a bludgeon for years as almost like a don't don't be different don't bring attention to yourself you know don't make it feel has always been used like like don't make me uncomfortable. Like like it's like secondhand embarrassment. >> Right. Right. Right. >> Kids are just acting like kids. They're not make, you know, they're not Nobody thinks when they see somebody from a different religion or race, they're doing something funny. They're just being kids. >> Yeah. >> And I don't know, I just feel like it's been something that's that's almost even now it's like, you know, years later, you feel like, am I making now? Could I do this? Like every you're you're obviously your actions you should should be calculated but it's almost to a degree where you I feel like we've been like restricted in expression. You know there's a few people who are on you know on Instagram or on social media in general who like they let their freak flag fly. It's not even their freak flag but it's they're just being their authenticelves >> and being out there. And it's not an embarrassment not a hashem, right? It's just what the old generation quote unquote is uncomfortable with. And how do we break that cycle and say no, acting like a 10-year-old is fine and being out there and entertaining or whatever it is is not is not desecrating God's name >> and not everything is something you're uncomfortable with is like is wrong. >> Yeah. >> You sound very much so. very much so. There's a few things going on. First of all, you know, yeah, you're you're observing a cultural phenomenon which I have also observed. I'm not a sociologist or an anthropologist so I can't you know give you any data or statistics but anecdotally yes I've definitely observed this phenomenon which is the weaponization of the concept of kilashem which is really used to suppress people's identity um yeah definitely it's a thing that goes on I have theories why people do it uh I mean you you said you know one of the unspoken motives is you're making me uncomfortable but I can't I can't admit that you're making me uncomfortable so I you know make it a holy war and I pretend that I'm defending God's honor right I think there's another reason as well we should speak about which is you're speaking about the Jewish community so I think specific to the Jewish community is there is a lot of trauma about keep your head down don't be noticed um don't make trouble right so I I think that that does come from a certain amount of trauma like you know don't make them angry right don't don't don't make yourself noticeable which is >> you behave they >> right right you want to >> notice you >> yeah they might hide you in their eyes >> be out of the firing line >> yeah which we all know how preposterous that is and it doesn't work but you said well can I get another orange coke by the way enjoying this discussion about weaponization of so I need an orange coke book to fuel my brain. So, that's one thing. You know, it's interesting. I don't know if you heard a couple callers ago, there was this mother of this like really unusual young child who's like deep and spiritual and advanced and uh yeah, it was like it was it was what they call a spooky little kid, you know. And um yeah, so >> I'll tell you like this. >> Social pressure works really well on neurotypical people because neurotypical people value social acceptance above all else to the extent that neuro when I say neurotypical people I mean the majority of humanity. They will lie, cheat and steal to avoid being ostracized from the group and in fact completely justify it because it's such a basic need. Then you have neurode divergent people who also want to be part of the group. They also feel pain when they're ostracized from the group. But for some reason they will not make compromises in order to fit into the group. Sometimes they don't even know how to make those compromises because they don't have that missing. >> They refuse to be un they they refuse to be on the underneath the whack-a-ole table. >> Right. Right. Either they don't know how to submit to it or they just they can't bring themselves to to sell out. They just can't do it. So what's interesting is you have these certain outliers, these you know neurode divergent people who cannot be bludgeoned into submission and >> yeah now what happens is these people have hellish childhoods because childhood in general in every culture and in every society childhood is basically um a process of socializing you, um, making you fit in well enough to be an asset to society and not a liability. But what happens is if you can survive childhood, and I'm not using the word survive flippantly, I mean it quite literally. If you can survive childhood, then all these people who were looked at as being disruptive end up being the leaders. So here here's here's what I think. I think that, you know, let's let's let's make this personal because we can't change the world. We can't change society, but we can change how we behave. And if we're parents, we can change how we treat our kids. You know, we can make a steadfast decision. And we can make a commitment that if our child shows any uniqueness or personality or energy or anything they're doing that we are going to let them know that obviously it's good to channel whatever you have. It's good to to to direct it, but that they should never dim their light to make other people more comfortable. If God gave you that light, then you need to shine that light. And you can figure out more and more ways of like directing that light. But don't dim your light to make other people comfortable. And uh if you can make it through this excruciating phase called childhood, you're going to come out on the other end as one of the people that that the leaders that society needs to to push us to do new things, >> right? >> But it's hard to make it through childhood. appreciate that >> because like school and and even community it's like all it's all it's like engineered to crush children. I didn't want to bring this up, but like I feel like schools like especially in the in the in the rightwing, you know, ultraorththodox for that like >> designed for that. Not even >> that's the main objective. >> I'm getting designed for that. >> There's there's but there's not even the minimal there's not even the minimal like uh like the uh what's the word I'm looking for? There's I don't feel there's even like unless you're a may in a mud unless you're like a you know a an exemplary student >> right >> and can learn the most vet or there's nowhere to excel outside the actual learning there's no you know there's no music club there's no you know sports by recess but there's no like there's no other outlet outside the learning for a kid to be you know there's the there's the jocks even in in you know in in the real world in the in the non-Jewish world, you know, there's the jocks, but there's, you know, the band and there's there feels like there's 50 other clubs where you can excel in and have a some sort of social >> club. And I feel like in in our communities, maybe it's starting now, but there's there's there's limited, you know, >> I always say like one of the advantages >> in the class, >> one of the advantages of Kabad specifically is that, and people can tell me I'm wrong and you know, whatever. You can bash me if you want, but I really do think that in Kabad specifically, there are more potential uh like niches that you could fall into as opposed to like in other communities, other from communities where like basically there's two options. Either you're a Masmid bud or or or or nothing, right? And like in Kabad, we have like the guy who gets the sponge cake for the Fabangan. And it's like a whole thing by 3 PM already. He's he's in this mitzvah of how he's going to get the sponge cake for the Febang. And that's like a that's you know like I'll give you an example and I don't think he would mind me calling out his name. I think he would actually love me calling out his name. There's this bucker uh Yasi Pharaoh who goes and puts on fill in with all like the celebrities and the the the >> tech guys and you know he's not a big learner. He wasn't like super successful in yeshiva, but you know, >> there's the Messian guy. There's like >> Yeah. But but can you imagine if he g I I'm not bashing other communities, but like I I don't hope I don't have to pay hell have hell to pay for saying this, but if Yassi Pharaoh grew up, let's say, in Lakewood, and he didn't have that channel to be the that outlet to be like, "Okay, I'm going to go put fill in on celebrities." Okay. Like how how long can you sustain your willingness to be excited about Yiddish kite when you don't have a niche to fall into? >> You don't have an identity. So I I I just I know sometimes people accuse me of being very like chauvinistically pro- kabad. I am. I'm very I look for all I could trust me I can find plenty of fault in kabad as well. I live in it. That's my my my yeah I I know all the faults because I you know see it up close but at the same time there is a certain um advantage that there are more possibilities to find your identity to find a way to shine. >> Still limited. >> Still yeah the world is limited. The world is limited. But look, everything's relative. Relatively speaking, there are more opportunities to shine. It's not like there's either baky bashas or fry, you know? There's like there's plenty of there's other flavors, >> right? Like I have a kid who's like he sings like practically pitch perfect and he draws very very well for a kid his age, very young. I I just don't feel unless I stoke that flame outside school. There's like I don't feel he that that doesn't do anything him socially. It doesn't give him any street cred quote unquote. >> Correct. >> Like I wish I wish I wish this was something that in his social life in school and stuff he had other like-minded kids >> to hang out with or there was a club that promoted these sort of things. Yeah. >> Where he has where he can be a rock star. >> Yeah. >> No pun intended. >> But >> that's just me getting this off my chest. >> No, I hear I hear I hear you. >> We'll get to gu we'll get to go garle grabbing and beard pulling. >> Yeah. >> Another time. >> Listen. >> Inside of baseball. Thank God you recognize your kids talents and encourage them to feel good about their talents because imagine the kid who not only he doesn't get any street credit school for his talent but he comes home and his parents don't see any use to it either or maybe even harass your time doing this. >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. >> Exactly. So, thank God, you know, >> like when I was a kid, I wish I wish you knew I wish you knew this much Gumar by heart. Like, you know, the back of a 100 people's baseball card. >> Maybe if they were put, >> but I actually knew it. So, I didn't get in that much trouble, but I appreciate it, Rabbi. >> My pleasure. Thanks for calling in. >> Have a good >> Okay. All right, talk to you later. All right, amazing. That was a really ismaking call if I do say so myself. Evolving. Um, have a couple more donations come in anonymously. Any more uh emails you want more caller waiting? Okay, so pull it up. Okay, fine. Pull it up. I'm ready. Pull it up. Hello. >> Hello. How you doing? >> Thank God I'm doing okay. What's up with you? >> I'm doing well. I'm um I'm on a fast right now. I'm like two days into it and um we did some uh some breath work tonight. And I wasn't sure if this was a wild question cuz I I see a lot of your videos are about relationships. >> Okay. >> And it's connection to spirituality, which is I feel like the connection here. >> Um >> Okay. >> So, I'm doing this fasting thing. A buddy of mine passed away. Kind of um >> Oh my goodness. >> Churned up a lot of Yeah, we're motorcycle buddies. And so he kind of just randomly passed away. And um you with me? You with me? >> Yeah. Did Did you hear a >> No, you cut out. You told me your friend randomly passed away and then I didn't hear you after. >> Okay. Yeah. So, um, it just made me think about how people say they hit rock bottom and only then were they able to what what whatever it was, get over an addiction and what have you. Um um so you know I've been I've been trying to think of the best way to wrap up my question for you beyond uh what my email was which is like why does certain methods of trying to you know connect with spirituality work more than others whether it's psychedelics or breath work or meditation. Um, so you know the the breath work thing kind of connected me I thought tonight to some kind of type of energy and you know lo and behold nobody else in the room or maybe one other person was sensing that same vibrational type of energy >> and I was like y'all don't feel like you just got done mowing the lawn for two hours. You don't feel that vibration. I feel like somebody could just put their hand on my hand and they would feel a vibration >> literally. Um >> I don't know if that's true. I didn't test it. Um but yeah, I say all that to say, is there some way that we can without going to rock bottom connect with spirituality and remove these egodriven you know feelings like I can't survive without a substance or you know get through to my parents is another one. You know my dad is like the ultimate trigger. You know we trigger each other. I can never have a full actual conversation with him because he will like gaslight me and act like I'm crazy. >> And I'm, you know, I'm 36 now and I'm kind of realizing like there's a reason why I feel like I'm crazy because I was raised by this man. >> Yeah. >> Um Yeah. So, um should I just keep keep my nose to the grindstone and keep doing breath work, keep doing fasting? Know fasting is supposed to be good for spirituality purposes as well. So, um, yeah. Anything else that I should be I should be doing? >> So, you know, breath work, fasting, all that stuff, you know, that that's that's good stuff. Um, but that's that's sort of like what you do when you step away from your life. And then there's what you do when you step back into your life. Mhm. >> So, I had an earlier caller, we were talking about integration, like how do you take your spiritual awakening and bring it into your day-to-day life? Like for instance, since you mentioned your biggest trigger or a big trigger, you know, your relationship with your father, how do you take your your your spiritual awakening into that battle zone of your your relationship with your father? To me, that's like that's the real spiritual quest is like >> right, >> you know, in the areas that are the most threatening. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've had some success at least with just acknowledging that it's within my responsibility and kind of my duty and it's a possibility for me not to be triggered >> almost no matter what he says. >> Yes. Exactly. >> Truly no matter what he says. And then like I want him to feel the same towards me. Like I want to be able to say whatever's on my mind. >> Yeah. But that's not how it works. >> But that's not how >> Yeah. >> You were asking before like, do we need to hit rock bottom? And and the answer is no. We need to become humble and we need to surrender and we need to admit powerlessness. But here's the thing. There's no rule for what experience has to convince you of that. Now, some people they lose everything and they even lose their lives and they won't surrender. Other people, they lost nothing and they come to the conclusion that they need to surrender. So, no, we don't need hitting bottom. We need what hitting bottom brings us to, which is the surrender to to God. To admit that human power, even in its best in in in in in its best form, human power cannot justify our existence. No, you could you could be the the the smartest and the and the coolest and the funniest and the the the most charming and the best looking and whatever. You can put together all the human qualities in the world and be the best in the world at all of those things. None of that justifies our existence. The only thing that justifies our existence is is is service. is surrendering to God's will and trying to show up as a servant. Trying to do good, trying to be useful to our maker, trying to treat God's kids with some some compassion because that's one of the ways that we do serve our maker. So, no, we don't have to hit bottom. We have to accept that conclusion that hitting bottom brings us to. you you if you can do it without hitting bottom that's great. That's uh indeed that's one of the great uh that's one of the the big focuses of of certainly of the spiritual teachings that I'm familiar with theic teachings is how do we foster this feeling of surrender without a crisis without life falling apart. you know, how can we become sensitive to the fact that life is so tenuous? And it doesn't have to be because, you know, you're losing your house or your health or your your your your family or anything crazy like that. You just be you realize that we didn't put ourselves here. God is putting us here every single second, creating us something from nothing. And that itself can lead us to the conclusion that it's a good idea to surrender. Yeah, I appreciate that. Um I guess I just I don't know. It doesn't feel like innate knowledge as far as um you know how to pursue that sort of lifestyle like I'm in the you know like a very militaryheavy uh community and kind of like the best that I can get to is this is these breath work events and people who generally take their their health into consideration. you of course their their physical and mental health but um you know and you mentioned earlier the spirituality aspect goes kind of uh like can tend to go you know not analyzed and um you know I've had this like neck pain for five years and it got really bad again rock bottom episode and I was like I kind of realized like the pain was teaching me that I was doing this to myself. It was coming from my mind >> and ever since that moment it's kind of gotten better. It's not like completely gone but it feels like maybe it's because I'm fasting right now. It's supposed to reduce your inflammation. >> Yeah. But, uh, it feels like I'm just powering through mentally, you know, getting rid of this pain that I at once upon a time was paying $80 to a chiropractor every month to be able have to go get weekly appointments and and then I would be reset back into pain like 3 hours later. >> Mhm. >> Um, so I don't know if I went off on tangent with that, but uh, um, yeah. So that that's like the trouble with you know tried to prepare for this this call and I was like >> no you're doing great you're doing great relax not such a formal >> setting over here people just >> I appreciate I know I know >> be yourself >> no you're doing great man you really are beautiful continue yeah continue don't stop >> I guess it was tough because like my friend was so great. And I kind of always had a little bit of trouble making friends and connecting with people. Like I I love people. I'm interested by them by all of us. And um you know, I might be like uh not neurotypical or whatnot, but um you know, I I I you know, I I talk to people just as easily I'm talking to you right now, but then when we get in a group setting, it's like I'm kind of the black sheep. And I don't know how it happens, but they all be having conversations and I'm kind of off to the side. >> So, >> you know, toward the end of my military experience and I I moved in with these guys. It was like seven guys in one roof and it was kind of like a freaking like game show type thing or like a um no torespect anyone with an addiction, but like a halfway house, like a sober house, like a sober living house. And um so he became kind of the the first person to like really learn all about my life. We had like late night conversations and he would, you know, hear me talking to my dad and and basically make me feel like I'm not crazy for the first time ever. You know, all my co-workers, they're >> it's all just stories, but somebody you live with that's like the same age as you, he's like, "Yeah, he was talking down to you." >> Yeah. >> And um a little bit, >> you know, that was just nice to >> Yeah. Yeah, it was nice to be validated. Yeah. For for once and then um our whole motorcycle escapade lasted three weeks and uh you know I felt like I I felt like I lost somebody that I I should have never envisioned riding motorcycles with for the simple fact that it might result in one of us disappearing or just being in a hospital. >> Is that how you lost him? That was a accident motorcycle accident. >> Yeah, he was riding by himself. Um, the cops just knocked on our door and 7:00 in the morning one morning after I had gone to sleep and and uh basically just told us that, you know, he died and and confirmed with like a tattoo on his arm or whatever. Um, but um they didn't seem and this is another thing I don't know if it's rel it's related. The cops just seemed kind of like callous with they seemed like they had switched their brains off like some part of the brains was off when they delivered this information. >> Yeah, that's how they survive. It's a coping mechanism. >> It It's got to be It's got It basically be like that. But it was just uncanny to me at the time. So like look at them and I'm obviously upset and like five young dudes are obviously upset. They don't look surprised. They don't look like they give a care at all. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Um, so I mean that was just kind of part of the puzzle that stuck with it stuck with me was like I know it's a common event but I mean and they're not salesmen like they're you know also kind of technically traumatized so they're if anything they're also bitter towards me for being connected to somebody who killed himself on a motorcycle. >> Yeah. True. Yeah. You're right. That's very insightful of you. It's true. >> Yeah. But I take all that and it still bugs me and I still feel like I am, you know, not healed. I'm I'm I'm still living in these like, you know, like I was being paranoid earlier about, oh, I'm not saying the right things, you know. >> I love these, you know, what you're doing with this live stream and everything. Like there's no reason to be um like that, you know, and but uh >> I know you internalize a lot of criticism from your father, so that's why you're self-conscious. But yeah, >> you have self-awareness about it. You'll you'll you'll get past it, >> right? Right. Yeah. Yeah. It truly felt like it started with him because of >> course. >> And he told me one Christmas he was like >> he said he faked confidence his whole life. He kind of let it slip. It was like a fudian slip. I was like, "Wait a second. What the did you just say?" But um so that just I remember it was probably three years ago that he said that and I was like, "Well, you're a full grown man. you have no reason to be not self-confident because the other thing is he judges me for, >> you know, my alleged not being confident, >> right? >> And um I guess I don't hide it as well, >> right? That's why he resents it because he sees the weakness in you that he abhores in himself. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's like I'm the un, you know, >> and I would like to recommend to you >> that >> you may not be able to influence him. I I would like to think that perhaps by living your best life, he will learn from your example and it's a wonderful thing when our children can become our teachers. But let's not hold out hope for that. Let let me let me maybe that'll happen. But even if that doesn't happen, what I want to tell you is >> the way to be the cycle breaker is to become comfortable with your vulnerabilities instead of the way he is where he abhores himself for whatever he thinks is shameful or weak >> or vulnerable. you know, you you can and you're already on this path. That's why I'm encouraging you to continue is to just embrace your your full self, your your the whole the whole thing, you know, not to not to try to suppress parts of yourself as being unworthy. That's a that'll be a great healing. >> Yeah. Yeah. I appreciate. I will definitely try and do that. >> All right. We got to wrap up the live stream over here. We're on for a long time. We're about to sign off, but uh appreciate the call. I really do. I want to wish you much >> Yes, sir. I appreciate >> success. >> Absolutely. I appreciate you, too. >> Okay. All right. Be well. >> I'll keep listening. >> All right. >> You, too. 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