Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss shiur on "Been There Done That"

welcome to congregation for the monthly uh CommunityWide gatherings I want to give a special thank you to the sh for opening its doors of course the kazak organization the qjc and chickens for shabas the refreshments that were outside were dedicated in loving memory of ruen Ben thank you very much to the sponsors we really appreciate it today's event is also dedicated for the the complete recovery of amen Our Guest lecture for tonight uh for this month is a renowned lecture and author he's no guest to this community we all know him very well please give your undivided attention to RAB moshim okay first of all I want to apologize I didn't leave enough time for what kind of traffic I I experienced the uh what's this stretch of lynon Boulevard what's that called that's Van Wick was just wasn't moving just I'm sorry I haven't I haven't been here in a while and I I really needed to leave more time so I'm I really terribly apologize I'll just have to make it a good Sher to make it worth it that's that's yeah no this was worse you see also I Stand Out Express I know tricks you know I could get off I could go around like I don't know any tricks over here so uh uh I apologize I really do makes me feel very bad to keep people waiting uh um it's nice to be back over here I want to thank kazak and QJ Q JCC it's called Queen's Jewish Center Queen and then of course Robbie Newman and chickens for shabas uh so uh we want to thank all them uh and uh let's learn for a little girl 17-year-old girl who is starting a new experimental treatment she has a rear cancer K uh we should learn that all those that have been touched by the related diseases and all of us and our loved ones should always be healthy um I uh this is more for the men should just give me a minute even though it's related to the women also but I've been on a kick lately trying to encourage people to do the firsta in for so anybody who's not interested in living long and having quality life it's not for you but if if you're into that kind of stuff the you know everybody looks for school is the first school in chess that can't be coinci idental in other words it's obviously it's a very powerful schooler that Chas decided it should be the first and it's within everybody's reach and that is to be M now m sedra means it takes it takes an hour you got to give it an hour it's an hour a week so you say maybe for you no everybody an hour a week to get a promise from Shas to live long and prosper somebody told me that that's a Star Trek statement live long and prosper but I I made it up on my own you know but somebody told me R why that Star Trek you know maybe you shouldn't use it I made it on my own so okay so I was madish the Star Trek but but uh uh it means going over the weekly para saying it twice and saying the tum the unus once now if you don't understand it do it anyway think about what you would do if you knew it would give you a now I have to understand you have to understand what means means that what does it mean a long day a long day means you have enough time to do what you want you know we we never have time I wanted to do this and I wanted to do that just never have time I want to take a bath and I wanted to put on the barbecue and I don't have time for anything I wanted to they came out Rabbi Fran came out with a new safe I want to look at I don't have time I want to read the I bought it I can't even look at it means that the day is long enough for what you needed that's a big braa and Sh means longevity now it does it says you should review the par twice with the T now if something is in a different language then it only counts if you know what it means the beauty of what ofin Kesh the Bible and the tum which thear millus is also and the reason why we attribute it to unus is thear says M which means that it was forgotten andus reestablished it but it was from SII so these holy words mean something and find favor in hashem's eye even if we don't understand what it says he told us at least I know one hour a week I'm doing right so it's it's a value now of course it would be a shame not to know what you're saying so now we have all kinds of linear K where you start saying and and if you come across a word which you don't know what it means right you look at the English now the unus you say even though you don't know what it means okay so say it say it saying the Pas twice and unus once gives longevity so that's number one and I will tell you that ruen Feinstein told me he is a very busy man a busy man he goes sometimes to 10 a week bristen levas he's a very busy man PA meetings giv Yesa speaks to Bim speaks toim he's a very busy man he says he makes then he opens up aish and he starts being M because he wants to make sure he does it so he asked be M I'll tell you a mavra story said rest I'm related to the my my father's brother his son barl my first cousin married the fre clo mre's daughter theab was a hero he was one of the greatest heroes of the Holocaust he lost a wife and 11 children he would go on to marry and build another Incredible family but his first task after he escaped the Holocaust is that he his his cish heart couldn't take the bodies of Jews strewn across Europe couldn't take it see if you if you went to Europe the Nazis killed the bodies left them there and they and they they were highly contagious the the the corpses of the kadim were tyus riddled so the closen Reba raised the Ruckus and the Germans gave him a battalion a whole Battalion but the Germans were not allowed to touch the bodies because they were tyus risk but he gave him a battalion it became high priority he went around with a battalion of Germans the way my uncle got close to the Clos mcreb he said he asked for assistance and my uncle helped the Clos M graab got tyus my uncle didn't but the Clos M rabit contracted tyus and he languished for 3 months in the hospital in Europe till he recovered it's recorded I saw it recorded in several what was he doing during the time he was in the hospital he was being MAV sedra for all the weeks that he missed for the years that he was in the camps that's what he chose to do now I assure you that the fact that he missed being MAV in the camps isn't because he didn't know Torah by Art cuz I'm sure he knew Torah by heart but he didn't do it because his hands weren't clean his body wasn't clean he would trade food for water that's a legend he would trade food for water not to drink but to wash his hands that he should be able to dve in and make BRS but that's the priority of MAV said now there's another benefit from this it's a great benefit another benefit there are loads of people by Kor in that are in a semicom state during [Laughter] K and they let their mind Wonder like a semi com then there are people that concentrate you know what they concentrate on catching the B at a mistake they're still that listening to the words s not ace a I don't allow people to correct with an angry voice I have a standard rule in my Sho you want to correct with angry Voice next week you're laning gone is the angry voice what are you angry about that man stayed up the whole night preparing the said while you were sleeping and you're angry at him because he said instead of you have an open but that's not the point the point is is if you don't prepare ahead of time the Pasha it's very hard to relate to something especially maybe but when we get to already and we get to and we get to the m then you don't know what it means if you didn't review it at all there's something else it's a good feeling you open up the Kish it's a good feeling I'm doing what's right I'm doing what I'm supposed to do and then the children see it they might first say what all of a sudden what happened a new thing a new stick but after a while they'll get a legacy they'll see Friday night after the meal well I didn't finish I want to finish before tomorrow take out that now I said it's women don't have a Mitzvah but it is um related to women because women should be become partners with their husband to make sure that m is given high priority because it's for husband wife te any any learning that the husband does is a is is is a she is 50% if she's you know what you know what if you know if you want to be M wait I'll give up on this now we won't go to that store I want you to go you you need to be M said you put give it high priority and and and and cheer on a husband that does it okay good evening everybody how are you that was that just had a little tiate over there but I'm very passionate about it this year I I believe I want people to live long and prosper you know Star Trek or not uh in in in in the on that table over there is there any Coke or Pepsi apple juice H or cold water apple juice yeah okay it's a healthy crowd now when you come to Rabbi why you need all the caffeine you could get you never know how how long he's going to keep you what time is Shak uh I'm not giving my D tonight in B Park I pushed it off so I got to I got a pin so I have all night uh just kidding don't worry just kidding um thank you very much two cups he feels I really need help thank you thank you very much okay okay now the privilege of learning the Torah again so we got a battle btdt btdt is the attitude been there done that now there's a lot of people that have that attitude yeah know the boat and the Tava and the destroying of the world and everybody was corrupt and I know and then we're going to go t Rino and he and he goes and he leaves his homeland he follows God and he he has the angels in front of his tent and he circumcises himself and yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I know it already Okay what else I think this year I'm going to learn treaser that's a very childish attitude to the T which I commanded you today on upon your heart every day it should be new there's no expiration date to the Tyra the tah comes alive in the world that we live in and it's the more you mature the more you see in the there's no end to the understanding of the Torah I'm going to just give you a just a for instance for instance I started the Torah this year right away you know I always W wondered in gamar one of the most famous in G and the one who we decide like because he's a Bas and we always decide his like him is r and I always wondered where is the name ra come from I mean a nice name like Moshe Maya you know that's ra what name of that child ra that's a ra do you know it's the first three letters of the Torah is you ever noticed that some Gant he's a captain of Torah and for that matter the one of the most famous men in the tal is gra those are the first two letters of the Torah so you just T the Torah and you say wow I never noticed that that's amazing so just to capture an idea of how you see A New Perspective of the Torah you know you look at it again and you know we know that the Torah is learned 70 different ways and it's it it's it's it it it it has so many ways and angles I'm just going to give you a little little little idea says a man when he's to marry should forsake y that's a very harsh term he should go it says forsake oh strong word so the simple meaning is that when it comes time to marry he moves out of his parents' home he Cleaves to his wife and Rashi says they become one flesh when they have children in their child is a merging a melding of their flesh that's the way actually learns comes along and and again you know I'm using this as an example because I want to show you how you could you could look at something incredibly different one of the great tal of the B the leaders ofas was the Reb Reb the Reb rebik says let me show you how to learn a the word means what you want he doesn't want to be so then she gives is what you're to of what you want the things that people know they want they're certain about IM is the things that people are not sure about IM if if this way if that way I'm not sure forsake don't rely on what you're sure about and certainly the things that you're not as sure about what should you do is the first four words of DAV that's what you got to do is 5:15 is now it's interesting the Christians will have them the religious ones they say I'm going to pray about it I don't hear that from Jews but what the re Reb is saying is that that's exactly what we should do I'm going to pray about it I'm going to ask to give me the knowledge to know what to do I'm gonna ask I'm gonna ask in Sim that that he should let me know how to deal properly with my spouse that's the Reb entirely different way of looking at the person comes along the D elaz whoa domestically as it says let me show you something else you know what is is you're not going to believe this is that interesting is is is you know what that's all about when a boy becomes an adult sometimes you have to send him away to yes because he stays home he's with his little brothers and sisters he acts like a kid he stays home and he wastes nights and he's not immersed in send him to [Music] lady and then he will CLE with wow that's what the PK means whoa actually there's a medish I'll tell you a story about 40 years ago my father Elam was honored by Raa for the ISA Staten Island and I was a teenager then and they asked me to speak in my father's honor so I had already been in Yeshiva for quite a few years already and I said that we're told that when passed away so it says AB came to eulogize her so the M says Where was so only son I mean only son from Ab I mean she had him when 91 years old you're going to miss her funeral so it says he was in yes there was no PLS in those days there was no way to get there I me you could take a caravan but they weren't going to hold off bearing her for 30 days 40 days right so thean on the med says if you have a child after 90 years you send away teach him so he could stay with his mother send him away you didn't have a child she didn't have a child for 91 years don't you think she deserves to enjoy the child says the wanted to put in the Jewish bloodstream the to send children away to Yeshiva it's not easy they finally mature from being Nik to giving you a little send them away I remember that I got a chastisement it wasn't chastisement but I got strong muser we used to be in Shiva we used to go home once a month I came home once a month I remember when I came home I was visiting royalty that's what it was my parents missed me so much I'm the oldest I was visiting royalty I like jelly rings and I like slice celery in cold water in the refrigerator whatever I like my mother had ready for me so my father DAV in the in downstairs it's what we call a balab Shion across the street where saak had in the 14th in the basement he had a Yesa Shion so I asked Raa if it would be all right if I D by Rabbi sex it D slower it's more yes Raa looked at me in credulously he says your parents send you away an entire month and your father is waiting to get a little n from his you want to go away what that was the last time I thought of doing that but but but send send me away they did and because of that I had a nights Sader and my parents home when we grew up there was a television and I was away from the television it was a different television than today but it was still a television I was away from the television that's once you I went when I was but you see what's in a p can you say BT DT on that P been there done that do you know that I could give an entire sheer on bous just on the word bous I could keep you here till midnight just on the word start telling you about I could tell you about I tell you about I tell tell you about I could tell you about I could I could I I I could I could talk to you the whole night of operations but it never fails that I learn the tah again and I see new things it's so I like to tell people that there's a question question why does the tus start with a base and people aren't too upset about that question it starts with a Bas because the word for in the beginning starts with a Bas so I tell them well hasem wrote The Diary he could have made the real for beginning St an olive and then I told him that they could have started theim bar and then would have started with an olive so why does the ter start with a B so you're still not so okay okay rwise I didn't come out so late in the night to hear that kind of question and I I don't lose sleep over that question you should if you don't lose sleep over the question you don't understand the question let me explain to you what I mean the Torah is the Fountain of all wisdom all wisdom just we don't know it do you know that the gatria of B is spelled spelled whole now it's baz is B and isin and Al is and the way the Ben does it is tough is tough Al it's exactly 1820 so you'll say what's the significance of that well 1800 20 the 1820 in the is the which Rashi says is the first instruction of the T that's why Bas is 182 this this this nothing nothing we all know right so so we know that uh what starts with an and starts with starts with so that spells we know but you want to hear something else Rashi paralleled himself after that too that's why the first letter in Rashi in is by the way was his father was his father that's why he started he wanted to be so he started his p on his Monumental work with something from his father but he started with an Al the last letter in Rashi is is a and the middle word in the tah is G which is belly now normally we would translate but Rashi doesn't translate it bet he translates it may so that's a me so that's Al me beginning middle and end just like Al is the beginning of the AL the middle of the Al and the end of the AL there's nothing you know it just anyway so the Torah has everything you know when when russas want to know if they should throw a child out of yes wey a weighty decision which is says you need a b of 23 because it says in the that in order to you need a circuit court of 23 judges so says you need a bz of 23 to send the child away from Yesa because that's but wants to wants to see in the when to send away a child from Yeshiva he looks at when kicked yesal out of the house oh if he's impacting on somebody else it's time to go if the child in Yeshiva is ruining other children then it's time to go everything is in the it's it's looked in the created the world it has everything ah it has everything that's everything it has everything so what's did hasem choose to teach first is it a lesson about treating your wife about anger about prayer what did Hashem choose to teach first oh the lesson he taught first is to answer to the first question in the time what's the first question in the ter why does the ter start a Bas whoa now all of a sudden whoa now we want to know what was the first all the lessons that God wanted us to learn that the Abisha wanted us to study what was the first love what did he consider of Paramount importance that he started did his start with that's the question why did T start with the Bas that's a first lesson now it's a big question now we're interested the answer is not important I just kidding so what's the answer so this question is asked by Yi it's asked bya it's asked by bra Raba it's asked by the they give different answers but the first answer in all of them is the tyus starts with a B to teach you that there two worlds that's the number one lesson of yish Two Worlds it colors all of our life what did we do today for I'm here that's for we are very wrapped up in me myself and I I want this I want that I want this I want that I don't want to do this I want to do that but that's a person has to a the first lesson of the Tor you want to know you're B we embark on T we want to become a want be the first lesson of and that's why it knocked my socks off when I saw in the P wanted re shining never knew this B is b b is 203 that's also ra B is 203 203 is exactly two worlds says beginning Two Worlds it's exact 203 check it out 203 and by the way so that's that's plac Two Worlds because you learn the the the creation it's just talks about the Sun the moon the fish the sea monsters the the the pis with the coupons in it the seeds those doesn't say anything about the next World so first thing you have to know is this Two Worlds and that's the first lesson a Jew really has to learn that there's two worlds that's of incredible Paramount importance you have to understand that I once heard by an AA convention this was in the days when ra and rakov were alive I remember in those days when Rosa would come in and it would be several thousand people there on a m shabas and it was like a cannon everybody stood up it was like such cover it was like whoa I mean it was so the uh Raa Sher I remember then got up to speak all of a he was one of the greatest Jewish lay leaders the history of mankind and you know he once told me that 50 years he didn't miss meeting for 50 years until he got sick a half a century he he he sat under raron Cutler and R lasa silver and then he sat under Raa rakov and and then he sat under a palm and this generation so I remember he asked a question I'll never forget it he said what is the foulest word in the Torah so everybody was thinking what's the foulest is there foul words in the so he says the foulest word in the Torah is says the big three the worst word in the tah idolatry morality Bloodshed wrapped up in a world said ab and sah had 100 years to plan a name for their child and they gave him the name y they couldn't come up with a better word and I remember he answered it's it's he answered that the difference is in the tenses an arabism he lives to laugh now a lives to laugh in the future and that's who we are we train ourselves that we look ahead I have another kick that I've been on I try I try to get people I asked a casha it's it's a cash that I saw it's not my own question it's a great question it's going to bother you that you never thought of the question if you didn't it bothered me I saw the question rski in his M on rashash asks the question he has a nice answer but I'm going to show you my answer he says that in the when we make we make four insertions during the 10 days of repentance right in the beginning of say right and at the end of we say so he asked how come in the beginning of we say right at the end we say it's a great question the beginning we say don't say we don't say it in we don't say it in kades we don't say it in um in in benching when we say other in benching we only say right that says that the reason why stays away from is because it's Russ so we don't say we just say but here everybody says in the beginning at the end so I want to suggest like this and this is again I'm sharing with you a way of life it's a gift I can't I can't keep you here too long just because I was late I can't hold you late you know but uh I'm going to give you a gift now cuz if we could work on this it's a gift and let me let me tell you before that I brought with me tonight the following CDs I brought two Marriage CDs marriage workshop and smooth the sailing in marriage and uh child raising that's a sh I gave for in 1996 I brought a sheir on alenu I brought a sheir on and I brought the new she on that I brought with me in CDs I brought also my benches now my benchers I only bought the small one I have one big one I didn't even have a box of big ones but I B the small one normally I sell the small one for $15 I'm going to sell it here tonight for $10 and I brought my picky Avis album uh it's 12 CDs on the entire pick office normally I sell it for $36 it's offseason I'm going to sell here tonight for $30 so that's that um also there's some old cassettes which I brought and there's also if you want to subscribe to my weekly CD and get a CD every week it's $26 a month you could sign up and get a CD every week I'm sending it out for 30 years with my wife every week with the help of Hashem so that's a good way to really get connected with me now here's my feeling there are people that no matter what they have they're always complaining my favorite story about this and it's a true story is I was with somebody in a hotel and at the hotel literally there was filter fish carp salmon for soup there was cons egg drop soup matal soup luxan soup then there was flunkin boiled chicken Capon duck a vegetable plate then there was a jelly tart and compot and assorted cookies and jell Jello and tea you know what the person said to me I can't believe there was no crane on the table and he was carrying on about I pay so much money and there's no horse R why I can't believe they run such a joint and he stood about it it ruined his night now that's not an isolated incident there are people that they have their own children's wedding what people would do to marry off a child by their children's wedding the photographer didn't get a certain sequence and the whole night is ruin I can't believe it they left already we didn't get that picture I can't believe it we'll never get it again I can't we shouldn't have used this Photograph that's what the carry on the marrying of a child the whole night to [Music] count see what I mean you see what I mean even technology is that way he doesn't work for me though he what does this have to do with and only after we say can we say if a person has an attitude of person realizes how fortunate they are every moment of the day that their heart is not giving them problems and they don't have floater in front of their eyes and they're not on dialysis and their knees aren't buckling and they don't have vertigo and they're not they don't have asthma and they don't have diab abetes and they're not going home to like it's in the house and they're not the house isn't being foreclosed upon only if a person is able to say does he have a before that even with all the money in the world it's only now I hold that this is a very important in says a PK and it became a Mel of mine I think about this PK all the time what does the PK say the says the wise person his eyes are in his head what does that mean h I'm going to tell you there a lot of you know what the says an interesting the wise person realizes that it's a great gift that his eyes are in his head because if our eyes would be lowered down we would bump into trees because we wouldn't see them so realizes it's a great gift that eyes in his head that's the way the matus learns don't even try playing tennis if your eyes were in your stomach right so but I want to tell you a beautiful there are people that something goes wrong now they stew about it and their day is ruined they just can't get past it because they only see what's now the doesn't just see with his eyes he she knows this will pass this will pass okay I wanted to eat this I'm not getting it tomorrow will be a good breakfast okay you know you know they don't just see now they ain't of they see what the head they don't get caught up just in the moment people that get caught up in the moment they stew on it and it ruins their life I know people I I I I see it as a person comes to sh it's either too hot or too cold it's too quiet or too noisy it's too many people or it's like a tomb I mean he always has a problem thein is too fast he's too slow he's not singing he's fetching I mean the man is a dictionary of problems there are a lot of people like that and they're not happy to me it's a great sadness I see people it's a very big thing you want to have children you know now a lot of our especially our girls our Savvy daters and one of the things that they look for in a in a prospective husband is you want your children to have then you got to get off the complaining bandwagon cuz that's not the way to raise children with or grandchildren you just can't still it has to be not just over here yeah this isn't exactly the way you want it you go to S I don't want to sit at this table they'll be other take a sa for along and where comes the you'll learn a little bit it could be the end of it you know could it could be you know serious don't forget that said I'm telling you I mean if you're not interested in it's not for you but if you if is something that again if you're always complaining it's might not be but uh it's an attitude and that's what the gr and with this I'll conclude I have to you've been very patient with me I thought at least you throw tomatoes see if if the speaker is not lucky that you throw AUM tomatoes s you know you didn't even throw it you probably didn't have it that's why you throw it the go says the may all the days of the poor are bad he says what's Pat so the the novice says I know whatat is all the days of a poor man is bad in the in the winter he can't afford heat in the summer he can't afford air conditioning his his mattress is terrible he doesn't have duxy on a bed or anything like that right he can't afford food it's it's it's it's it's always bad the G says that's not probably because then that would refer to only a certain segment of the population he says that it refers to everybody he says what's anher aner is an attitude somebody is satisfied with that they have so he says K is the opposite somebody who's always complaining May onun somebody that's always complaining every day is bad there's something wrong I have a headache I have indigestion it's too cold the neighbors are making too much noise the I can't believe it the that it's it's raining outside it's the humidity is terrible there's snow on the ground there's no parking call may all the days of an on somebody that doesn't have this attitude of somebody who doesn't have it doesn't look with the head but looks just with the eyes somebody who could have a 12 course meal but only focus on the lack of horse radish that's a true story by the way that's a poor person and we have to ask ourselves if we're that way we have to stop stewing and start enjoying and one of the remedies by the way but people are too morbid to do it is to visit some hospitals and go to some Wards and then walk down the aisles of cemeteries and see the people that passed away at 36 and 42 and feel Glick that a person is happy and healthy and feel rich and not to get tied up on the fact that I wanted that dress but they sold all of them in my size world's not fair at all I just don't believe it that they made Shak 10 minutes earlier than I wanted it it's the world is coming to an end may be the will of Hashem first of all that we take a fresh attitude to the T because believe me you look at it I can't resist it one more thing the world is full of corruption with all the heinous crimes of immorality perversion idolatry gazel did it yeah because the death of the would have been AAP but sins between us and our fellow man it doesn't help suffering and you you have to make up and this was not a generation that made up was an arrogant Brazen generation that didn't ask M it's the that does Us in but notice that it says it doesn't say gazel you know what Kus is gazel is when you steal Kus is when you pay but you Strongarm someone to sell it to you that's very contemporary we live in a generation of bullies people bully Rabon out of their stellers you know there's a r in New Haven Connecticut now he was there for 35 years he's been pushed out of his kahill because the claims they don't have money to pay him after 35 years of dedicated service and they're trying to BU him of his pension a president came in Altered and ducted up the Constitutions but that's Kus that's kusus is is when Yesa doesn't take a child because the parents are just playing they don't have money they don't have any connections that's humas that's Kamas Kamas is is when when when when a son takes over from his aging father the business and pushes out all the old employees cuz he wants to get cheaper younger faces that's kasas Kamas is when a wife with a bunch of children walks away from her husband cuz she's been told that she could do better and a husband disappears from his wife because he wants a prettier younger model that's humus it's it's a world full of humus this it's scary now did everybody in no's generation do that maybe not but those that didn't do it didn't stop those that did it and that's why I'm telling you this you see something wrong don't just cluck sympathetically but I have my own problem problems anybody that's able to protest and doesn't Isen you see a wrong being done you got to speak up well you know I can't if they didn't they didn't do anything about what I'm going to say I'm just a little guy you you see a wrong you see somebody being wrong you got to speak up I don't want to get carried away now this is another thing that I carried away with you've been wonderful I'm sorry again that I was late uh let me end with a br then the of Us coming to learn may we have the blessings of T of we should have know that we're healthy from the children and we should be to [Music] thank you the CDs are available marriage aleno the CDs are $5 still the same price as 30 years ago uh you could sign up for for weekly CDs the power benching is available the pis album is available that's a great thing 12 CDs for $30 in a beautiful album well we have the women here so we would like to to uh thank MOS wi even though that was the last minute of invitation that he joined us Mr is an old friend of the neighborhood used to come to us every shabas should be to have him every shabas again and also you should know the uh the program of kazak is all over kazak is an organization it's not just the the the Shu that you see they're helping more than 5,000 kids that are in high school and they're out of D and they're I Tred to bring him over so please write make make sure that you would uh support the kazak you can write the checks uh to kazak uh organization and also tomorrow night bam is speaking here and also Wednesday uh morning also