Why you SHOULD be judgmental

here's what you got to do you gotta become more judgmental I don't mean that facetiously I mean that quite literally we have a judgment muscle that we're using anyways usually judging unfavorably which Harbors resentment so the solution is just judge but judge favorably that's what it says in perkiavos judged on the side of favor you might as well assume the best you have very little to lose and much to gain yeah people see things differently we have a Mitzvah to love our fellow we don't have a mitsu to love their opinion and the reason is because they are not their opinion they are them they have an opinion and when we see people as people not just as the opinion that we don't like about them we can love them on a much deeper level even if we disagree with them so going back to 1957 it was a fellow who wrote to the lab about a certain falling out that he had with somebody he couldn't get along with him the rep explained to him this exact idea that the same God who created you with seeing things differently than this other person also gave you the Mitzvah the Commandment to love your fellow as yourself which means you have to love him even if you don't love his opinion and you can do that if you get to the root of the issue and here's the root of the issue here's what the web explained to him what happens is we're being judgmental but not in a healthy way we create stories about people we create stories about what's going on in their mind they're acting toward us in a certain way they said something that they probably shouldn't and we create this story as to why they said that why they did that and we don't even realize that we've created this story and we feel that they're resentful toward us and if they're resentful toward us well I'm not going to be the one to break the cycle they gotta break the cycle so the rabbit told him cut the ego man you got to break the cycle and what you're going to see is that the story's entirely made up it's not even true you made this assumption that wasn't founded on something true this is so applicable in in literally any relationship in a marriage my husband and wife aren't getting along with one another well we create stories she said this because this is what she was thinking this is what's interested in her mind or he did this because this is what he was thinking he was late because he didn't care well the not caring is an assumption right she did this because she doesn't value myself you've created a reason right my kid is acting out because they're careless because they're neglectful because or whatever it is he didn't Pace this person on time because why are we making up reasons we know facts we know what's going on we don't know why if we don't know why let's not make up that reason let's find out let's learn about people and what we're going to find out explain the rabbit is that our reasons were probably incorrect it just takes a little bit of humility to admit that and when we do the resentment dissipates because it was founded on something that wasn't true that's my story and I'm sticking to it