This outdated Rosh Hashanah tradition can enhance your relationships

I learned a powerful lesson what if I approach the situation from a perspective of confidence and confidence is sometimes a good thing and we like to preach confidence be confident but what if I approached this situation from a perspective of confidence and I imposed my confidence on him what would I have been doing I would have been isolating somebody essentially from me but really from for for no reason he thinks he's doing the right thing and I'm incriminating him okay friends The Story begins we are going to dip into a different track date today to the track date of rashash if you have the link that I had sent this is track date rashash 26b and then we're going to jump to 27A the part of the talm that we're going to be reading today is actuallya not a is strictly instruct ual not uh philosophical but as we'll see there is philosophical and meaningful relevance that we're going to dive into and unpack unbury and what we're going to explore is the tradition of how the chofar was blown in the times of the Bas Mikes this practice is no longer observed but it was observed and what we're going to explore is why and how that is relevant to us today even though we don't have a Bas M this we're not following that practice but there's deep social and psychological spiritual relevance um that will influence the way we understand our relationship with God our relationship with people let's start on 26a sorry 26b did I say 26a 26b that's the link that I had sent um it's the middle of the page where it says mishna mishna says to so for for those um who are not familiar um whether you're listening live or not live the way the Tom is structured is there is the mishna which is the short bullet point laws that had been ultimately transcribed uh by the sages and then there is the talmud which is unpacking the application of the mishna it would be like somebody's taking notes and your notes are just bullet points but now your children the Next Generation got to read your notes and they got to unpack it and debate what it actually is and what does it actually mean what is the application over here and that's what a mishna is the mishna is the short law the talud the gumara will unpack the mishna the mishna says that the chauffeur that was used on rashash in the temple was made from the straight Horn of an IEX okay and its mouth the mouthpiece into which one blows was plated with gold now Rashi over here points out that why was it straight usually the chofar we use on rashash we make a point that it's curved right that it's Ka it's bent but in the temple the Mikes they made sure to have a straight chofar what's the reason um there's significance to both there is value to being curved to being bent cuz represents a level of humility there's value to being straight to having Simplicity and apparently in the Bas of the Simplicity is what we were shooting for these days we make a point to have a b CH far and the commentar is explained because we want to express humility on rashash Shana because it's a days of awe but in times of the B mikash says Rashi having that straight simpl direct simple communion if you will with God was something that was ofc value now when we say the mouthpiece was plated with gold it doesn't mean literally the mouthpiece itself because then you're not blowing it to the chauffeur you're blowing it to a mouthpiece and it wouldn't be a kosher chofar but it means the basically right on the mouthpiece but in a way where you're actually blowing into the chofar not into an actual mouthpiece the mishna then continues and says there were two trumpets one on each of the two sides of the person sounding the chofar the chofar would sound a long blast whereas the trumpets would sound a short blast because the Mitzvah of the with the chaar so there were trumpets being sounded there was a chofar being sounded but priority or prominence if you will was given to the chofar because that's really the Mitzvah of the day okay the mishna then continues to to discuss the procedure of blowing chofar on other days other than rashash such as other fast days uh specifically um spontaneous fast days if there was some sort of uh tragedy going on um such as the Y the jubile year and and stuff like that let's skip to 27A please and we're going to count 12 paragraphs down give me a second the paragraph starts with it's related that RAV Papa over there it says RAV Papa R Papa Bara um the reason why we're starting over here up until this point the talmud again is unpacking that idea in the mishna the Gars unpacking that idea in the mishna asks all sorts of questions like how can you fulfill the obligation of chofar if you have trumpets blowing simultaneously the gamar resolves that it wasn't necessarily simultaneous they were taking turns back and forth there were intervals and that itself is a whole discussion but here's the main point that we need to point out it's related that ra Papa Mar well T thought to act in accordance with the mishna regarding the details of the chauffer and the trumpets now again this is the gar where was the gor authored in Babylon right in B the Mish so so Rao tried doing this but Raa said to him no no no they said this only in regard to the temple so R Papa opens up a mishna and says okay let's do it rashash is coming up let's get our trumpets ready and R tells him hey the application of that mission only applies in the B Mikes in the temple does not apply outside the temple this is also taught in ABA which is an earlier teaching in what case is this statement said only in the temple but in the provinces anywhere outside the temple the Hal is as follows wherever there are trumpets for example on Fast days there is no chofar and whenever there's a chofar for example rashash there are no trumpets similarly established the custom inur which is a location as it is described in the mishna and so did RAB Bard in and when the matter came before the rabis they said that they acted this manner only at the East Gates of the temple and at the Temple Mount but not Beyond what's the Reason by the way what what is there where did they get this from one of the things that t does is unpack the context of the mishna but also sources the mishna how do we know this only applies in the temple that you blow the chaar together with trumpets and that it doesn't apply outside the temple so let's take a look at the next paragraph rava said and some say it was rushu Ben Ley right there's a debate in who actually said it what is the verse from which this is derived as it is written with trumpets and the sound of a chauffeur make Joyful Noise before the Lord the King this is what it says in Psalms from which it may be inferred only before the Lord the king in other words in the temple do we need both trumpets and the sound of a chofar but in general outside the temple we do not need both okay so to recap just real quickly the mishna discusses how the temp how the chauffeur sounded and it says that we use a straighted chauffeur not a curved chofar this is specifically in the bikes outside the bikes in these days common practice is to have a curved chofar and we blow with two Trumpets the talmud resolves that that is only within the temple in front of God in the temple itself outside the temple we don't sound trumpets and this is the Practical as well if you were to open up the ram my man's uh compendium of Hal he writes that in the times of the temple this is how they would show far in these days we don't do it anymore and our question for today is why everybody knows chaar you blow the rashash you blow the chaar we we know that already but what is the Two Trumpets have anything to do with anything it's not explicit in the Torah necessarily what is the purpose of this practice now granted the practice isn't relevant to us today on a behavioral level because we're not in the temple we're not going to be doing that unless mhia comes and we attend services in the temple but the Torah itself the premise of my question over here is that the Torah itself is eternal it doesn't mean it's behaviorally Eternal not everything applies everywhere but on some level there's eternality is that a word eternalness um help me out guys on some level there is stability okay I think that's the right does that work eternality yeah I think that's eternality okay we'll go for it we'll send it okay let's do it on some level or permanent permanence okay that's a good one on some level there's permanence to every instruction in the Torah again not always behaviorally we don't have a Bas in miklas right now and then if if God forbid mashia doesn't come before rashash we're not sounding that that Chau far with trumpets but on a spiritual psychosocial level there is eternality to the message behind why we would be sounding the chaar together with trumpets and our hope in the next few minutes is to unpack those messages where do we know about the making of trumpets that the Jewish people are instructed to construct these trumpets so if you look back in the Book of Numbers B midbar chapter 10 God instructs Moses to instruct the Jewish people to construct Trum trumpets and there were different types of trumpets some were silver some were gold and while we're camping in the desert this is the Biblical context of trumpets while we're camping in the desert sometimes we'd sound one trumpet sometimes we'd Sound True trumpets sometimes it was to gather the Jewish people sometimes it was a message of let's March forward let's keep on going which makes sense you have 3 million people traveling in the desert there's no communication system Jews were afraid of PAG no I'm kidding below the belt I know pun in no pun intend um but there's no communication system so trumpets was a very practical way to gather the Jewish people um in fact the Hebrew word for trumpets if you look back in the Mion you'll see it's what is the root word of I just learned this yesterday I didn't know this so there's a commentary on the Torah authored in the late I think it's late 1800s maybe early 1900s by RAV shim Rafal H ra shim Rafal H was leader of the modern German jewelry and in his commentary he's he's very into unpacking the ideology and uh of words and he says that the root word of which is a trumpet is the word Courtyard because the whole role of these trumpets was to create like a courtyard was to create this court was to create this Gathering was to create this this environment um you you see another example of this by the way in this week's paraa the par this is just a parenthetical point but I think it's worth mentioning the portion of which talks about the Mitzvah of hak of gathering the Jewish people once every seven years in the B mikdash and the kohanim had to go out and blow chofar sorry not chofar trumpets they had to go out and blow trumpets golden Trumpets the talud says any Cohen who doesn't sound that trumpet to gather the Jewish people listen to Cohen doesn't count he's not a good he's he might not be a Coen right he's he's not doing his role by gathering the Jewish people with trumpets is an integral part of our of our history of our of our Traditions so I I don't know I'm suggesting that on rashash Shana the message of the trumpets together with the chofar the chofar is a spiritual wakeup call but the trumpets is let's get together let's be one we're going to be traveling together we're going to be going on a journey together if not literally if at least figuratively but I recently read another explanation what is the difference between a chauff far and a trumpet few hundred bucks no I'm just kidding couldn't hold myself back what what the difference I just got it no the the difference between a shire and a trumpet a trumpet has a motivating sound a joyous sound right it evokes Joy chofar is more somber it evokes a heavier sense of emotion chofar is heavy it's emotional It's associated with reverence the trumpets are associated with love with joy with motivation you need both right in Judaism you have the what the Zohar calls the two wings of a bird which is the love and the reverence the love and the fear and in order for a relationship to be sustainable you need both of these you need you know you you need kind of this Duality you need to be motivated by love you need to be motivated by respect relationships need love but relationships need respect which one is more important I shouldn't say more important where do you start where do you start in a relationship the answer is respect you can't really love somebody properly if you don't respect them if you don't respect somebody I if somebody doesn't respect somebody but still loves them it's very possible that they love themselves they love the feelings that they have they love the experience they're getting but they don't altruistically love that person you can't love somebody Pro properly I'm not questioning somebody's feelings but I'm saying you can't properly altruistically uh selflessly love somebody if you can't accept them for who they are and that's very tough you let let me phrase it this way it's very hard to unite with somebody without being able to take a step back and give them a little bit of space first a little bit of distance first and you have this structure by the way built into the mechanics of relationships in marriage the Mikvah laws are structured in a way where spouses are together for a certain part of the month and then give each other space in terms of intimacy to give each other space for a certain part of the month that space creates a vacuum for more love that's what the tud says creates a vacuum to allow connection but that connection requires space requires respect requires reverence so we have the chaar which is the refence we have the trumpets which is the love and in the B Mikes both of these were highlighted but which one was given Prime attention which one was given prominence the chaar right the the Miss if you look back at the Mion it says that the trumpets were short blasts the chofar was a long blast because mitv because the Mitzvah of the day was thear the focus of rashash is reverence is our reverence for god um which I think by the way is is an interesting paradigm shift and how we understand uh how we I was listening to this comedian Jewish comedian he says this Jewish New Year's it's like the day after New Year for everybody else we get up and it's like what did I do and what's wrong and what we're introspective it's like the day after New Year's right it's like the day after the secular New Year or everybody's all introspective you know what happened last night um Russia Shana does have a a seriousness to it because the focus of rashash Shana is coronating God respecting him as our King which inherently means there's going to be space between us and God Independence between us and God ironically om Kipper is the day we celebrate closeness with God Oneness with God to put it this way rashash Shana is where we celebrate or or yeah celebrate the space between us and God that has to be filled with connection and oner is the actual connection but in order for that to happen we have to be honest with ourselves and recognize the distance it might be an artificial distance but there is some sort of gap between us and God between Creator and creation that's the chofar that's the that's this Duality between love and reverence another [Music] explanation this is based off a teaching from the mag mzz he was the successor of the B so this is going back to the mid 1700s mid to late 1700s and here's what he says you know what are that's the Hebrew word for trumpets he says it's a compound of two words if you look at the Hebrew this will be more evident half an image or half a form trumpets are half an image so he says when the Torah says to make to sound the to sound the trumpets what it's saying is to activate a part of us that only feels like half and that we need to connect to our other half a Jew and God and by the way a Jew and his or her people has has to see themselves as as a half we're incomplete we're missing something um in in order to feel that we're missing something and to fill that Gap with the right thing it requires it requires B it requires humility it requires B is uh is is openness you know how I like to describe it actually you know what it really requires curiosity because somebody who's overly confident ends up being judgmental because I know it all and I'm perfect and what can I give you somebody who is curious has a little bit of humility and could say what can I possibly learn from you [Music] the way I I read this recently from from the Alba the author of The Tanya he puts it like this he says even if you are even if you think you're at the top you're the greatest sadic in the world you're probably not but even if you think you are I'm paraphrasing here but he said something to that effect even if you think you are you still have have something to learn from somebody else because the Jewish people are one body of people even if you think you're the head there's something you need to gain from the feet that you wouldn't have had on your own now you might not even be the head right we have to be honest with what our role is but even if that were the case we can't let no pun intended you can't let that get to your head we have to connect with everybody every single Jew because every single Jew and by the way this is a deeper message than what it says in the Tanya in the Tanya in chapter 32 of the Tanya it says you have to connect with every single Jew because we all have something in common the soul where we have a Common Thread that runs through all of us and we're really all the same internally externally maybe not but internally yes over here at a different teaching the Ala says it's not just that you have something in common with other people it's that they have something you don't because we're one body of people and the body is connected and you're not going to have two right arms or two left arms or two left feet everybody's going to be different everybody's going to be uh completing this bigger body of people and nobody's being amputated we're all healthy we're all necessary and that's true in our relationship with each other as Jews it's true in our relationship with God where the trumpet's the which is the trumpet translates really as we just half the image because there's another half the mag mesich in this teaching points out that what was the trumpets made out of there was different trumpets for different occasions but these trumpets were made out of silver the Hebrew word for silver is CF in modern Hebrew CF means money but in Biblical Hebrew CF means silver CF has another meaning in Biblical Hebrew anybody know CF means to yearn to desire I I guess CF silver is something people desire so it's but this trumpet what oh so we we always desire money so that's why it became the word for money it's very possible I I don't know that as a fact but it would make sense right that there's that correlation um the the the the Curiosity or openness to realize that there's someone else who could make me whole has to be done with love with with a desire with a yearning not just out of Duty okay fine I'll be open to other people in my life no it has to be a little bit more meaningful than that has to be a little bit more genuine and that it has to be with a yearning with a desire what awakens that level of humility is the respect the internal respect that we have what activates that is the chaar because the chaar is that cry of the soul that can't be articulated in words in other contexts inic literature we might call this the of the Soul there's different layers to the soul soul has layers the human beings have layers we have layers um right what's the deepest part of us um the deepest part of you you know what Dr Sue says nobody could be youer than you except you um the deepest part of you isn't just your feelings isn't just the way you think isn't just what drives you or motivates you I mean all these things can change right the deepest part of you is the part of you that's unchanging which is your connection to God your connection to your people and the sound of the chofar activates that activates that level of humility that we all need to complete each other I I I've shared this story before but I'm going to share it again because I think it's relevant I think it's very relevant I'll share with you two stories Story number one is when I was running camp summer camp and training our counselors and I let them know that um you know we have a policy in Camp that the bathroom do the public restrooms not not the Stalls obviously always have to remain open because I want a counselor to be able to just poke their heads in make sure no bullying is going on make sure no vandalism is going on and if it is going on you know we have to be supervising the kids every moment and if it is going on then let me know and we'll deal with it if a bathroom door is closed the counselor's never going to end up checking and it's it's just it could be a safety hazard um and I said there's going to be that kid who takes the wet paper towels and sticks it to the ceiling and you know does all these things it's just kids are kids I said I got to know about it especially that year we were running camp out of a public school and it wasn't even our own property and it's it could have been bad couple weeks in Camp a young counselor runs up to me Rabbi Josh Rabbi Josh the kid who's doing the paper towel stick I found him my Sirens start going off and I run to the bathroom and I said and I I stopped myself in my tracks like I was cuz I was about to crack down on the kid I'm like you know what let's approach this a little differently let's just let me calm down and I said hey what's going on why are you putting those paper towels on the floor this is a four-year-old you know try to get into the perspective of a four-year-old that's I'm I'm not even that tall but you know I'm looking down at him he's looking up at me he's says not everybody can reach the paper towels I want to put them on the floor so people can come and reach them now it could be he was lying and trying to save himself and if he was good for him because that was pretty good I bought it right but but let's assume he wasn't um that's incredible but I I learned a powerful lesson what if I approach the situation from a perspective of confidence and confidence is sometimes a good thing and we like to preach confidence be confident but what if I approach this situation from a perspective of confidence and I'm confident that we're not supposed to be putting paper towels on the floor I am confident about that and I impose my confidence on him what would I have been doing I would have been isolating somebody essentially from me but really from for no reason because turning something something positive into something negative he thought he was doing the right thing right he thinks he's doing the right thing and I'm incriminating him because I'm confident that this is wrong but I and I'm thankful I did because I don't always do this but I try I approached the situation from a perspective of curiosity of openness and that invited me to see a better self of this person it invited me to see positive intentions it invited me to learn something that this kid is trying to be helpful to other people when we approach people not with confidence but with curiosity and openness which is I think code word for B we're creating space in ourselves for those people in our lives we're creating space with for connection when we approach people with respect we're creating space for connection because part of respect is curiosity because curiosity implies I don't know everything about you and that you're you and I respect you um I'll share with you one more story there's a rabbi named Lawrence Kellerman you can look him up on YouTube really interesting speaker he has great talks and I was listening to a podcast of him he was talking about his journey toward toward uh um embracing Judaism because he didn't grow up with a strong Jewish Education and a strong Jewish involvement and later in life he ended up embracing his Judaism and he ended up becoming a rabbi and he goes around and teaches and he's really interesting guy he had some sort of degree in like religion study comparative religion study and and was well-versed in King James Bible and the Quran and all a lot of heretical things which he thought as more just academic um which by the way it served him well because he has interesting classes proving the validity of Judaism from a perspective of social science and comparative religion very interesting Talks on YouTube but he said he had met different rabbis that he had a hard time connecting with and many of them would say you know you got to wash your brain out buddy and it I get where they're coming from there you know you you if when you learn certain things that are heretical and that are not true and that are antithetical to to objective truth it could be harmful to our spiritually harmful and they were honest with him you know you really got to wash your brain out before Eng engaging in your Judaism but he met one particular Rabbi which he had really connected with and to this day still connects to his name was Rabbi WBY this Rabbi meets him and he says so what did did you have study in college and he's expecting to be a little you know kind of reprimanded and he shares with him what he had studied and he says can you he says in in classic English can you share with me a can you share with me a share with me something new he said this information is somehow going to help your Torah studies God didn't send you there for no reason maybe I wouldn't advise people studying it but it happened it's for a purpose and I can't wait to hear a I can't wait to hear something new and positive and how this is going to shape your your understanding and ability to share and actually teach concrete truth this Rabbi Rabbi WBY approached them from a perspective of curiosity not from a perspective of confidence a perspective of bit respect and openness not from a perspective of arrogance and isolation that's the chofar that's the trumpets there's more space because there's more room for more connection with more people connection with God okay that's my story and I'm sticking to it