This is an unexpected distraction

Couples often feel like their communication isn't good and that's what they need to fix. And it's so often not true. When a couple comes to me and says, "We need to improve our communication." The first thing I ask them is, "If your communication was to a satisfactory level, what would that do for you?" Well, we'd probably feel more connected. We'd probably feel more intimate. We'd probably be more respectful. Those are the things you actually need to work on. Communication is just the pathway. There might be other pathways. Don't get distracted by the pathway. Focus on the actual result you're trying to achieve.