This bizarre coping mechanism saved us from GENECIDE

when tragedy God forbid strikes or there's some sort of traumatic event that throws off the equilibrium of your life whether it's a global tragedy a communal tragedy or some sort of interpersonal familial things something going on in your own family that's going to like God forbid throw off your relationship your relationship with your spouse your relationship with your kids so how do we how do we deal with this what do we do I mean the natural thing to want to do is let's talk about it and sometimes let's even lament it let's sit together let's mourn but that's not going to create hope because when you talk about problems the problem is going to get scarier and scarier and scarier because you're going to understand the full scope of the problem or at least you're going to think you understand the full scope of the problem maybe you'll inflate the problem to even bigger than it is and lose faith maybe you'll maybe you'll understand the the true scope with the problem and still lose Faith because of how real it is but there is another option which is to talk about hope talk about your preferred reality because when you talk about problems the problem becomes more real when you talk about hope the Hope becomes more real and you can develop the strength that with despite what's going on in your marriage or what's going on in your family or what's going on within your community or within our people as a whole we can still have hope we can still grow and we can still Thrive if we start speaking with that language and we see this in the story of purm the midash tells us that when tragedy had struck the very first thing that morai did was gather all the children H wants to kill all the Jewish people and morai who happened to have been a minister in King A's cabinet didn't employ at least not yet didn't employ his political connections the first thing he did was gather the Jewish children to Davin to learn but what I found interesting is not just the fact that he had gathered the Jewish children as a source of strength for the Jewish people but what they had learned at that point when they had gathered to me is just fascinating because the mid says what did they learn about they learned about the of the bikas the laws of the temple in Jerusalem about its construction and they were just learning those laws learning those that's fascinating because at this point in Purim the story of Purim historically this this was like Exile this was in the middle of the or toward the end of the Babylonian exile it was about 60 years after the destruction of the first temple so the Jews are in a bad situation and it's going from bad to worse and rather than gathering together to lament which is going to create despair this is going to create negative energy they gather together and they essentially have a conversation about the preferred reality that they'd rather have which is the B mikash that's really what we want we want Redemption we want a home for God and they have a conversation about that in depth they learn about that that creates hope that creates a strength and it put the Jews in the right mindset to wanting more of that ultimately doing toua and reversing the evil decree of Amon and saving their lives and when God forbid problem s happen whether it's in your marriage or it's a personal issue thinking about things that give you hope will give will strengthen your hope having conversations about the preferred reality will strengthen who you are to be able to pull yourself out of there that's my story and I'm sticking to it