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Simcha & Oneg | Joy & Pleasure explained in Chassidus

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Rabbi Josh Zebberman avatar
Rabbi Josh Zebberman

Transcript

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One of the ways that we're used to describing or framing relationships and particularly relationships between husband and wife um but other relationships as well is the mashia role. The role of a giver, the role of a receiver which is male and female. And this exists in many forms. It exists in marriage. There's the male and there's the female. There's the giver and there's the receiver. And that is true emotionally, financially, uh physiologically, biologically, spiritually. Um it could be true in our relationship with God. In some ways, God is referred to as the giver and we the Jewish people are the receiver. It could be true in the context of learning. In Tyra learning, there is the giving and receiving relationship. For example, you have you have the written Torah which and that's unpacked and received by the oral Torah through the lenses of the oral Torah understood in a much more specific and broad way. But one of the things that the Mitler Reb points out and elaborates on in depth in his mashia makabel dynamic, the dynamic of giving and receiving, whether it be in a relationship with God, whether it be in the academic sense with Tyra, whether it be in a marital sense, whether it be us trying to receive inspiration or love or connection with Hashem, the mashpia Macabel dynamic doesn't happen in a vacuum. In other words, it's not just a behavior. Uh there is a context to that behavior. And in this mimer, there's just one point I want to focus on here where he focuses on two layers of context. Number one, the giving receiving dynamic happens in the first layer of context which is pleasure. When you enjoy giving, you want to give more. When you enjoy receiving, you want to receive more. And when both of those come together, the one is more compelled to give. So when couples enjoy their relationship, they want to invest more in it. when we enjoy receiving from Hashem. And when we put Hashem in a position where he enjoys giving to us, when we enjoy learning, so that draws out more. When somebody's teaching and he sees the students are interested, he's going to be able to talk more. He's going to be able to pull out more. When if you see the students are just zoning out or you're just you feel like you're just talking to a camera or you're just talking to the wall, then you got to just go by the strict notes that you have. It's hard to pull out more. But pleasure actually allows a re a release of greater influence. It actually heightens the experience of or the dynamic of mashia. That's the first layer of context. But what instigates or triggers or inspires pleasure? In other words, what if I'm just not in the space of experiencing on pleasure? that deep sense of connection. So what he writes here is that that's where simka comes in because simka is an even deeper layer and he elaborates in this mind extensively about joy breaches through boundaries. There are times where we feel constricted. We feel academically constricted. We feel emotionally or relationally or spiritually constricted. And simha actually empowers that to be released. And we we we'd think it's the other way around. Like if I lined up my communication properly or if I felt academically successful or if I felt like if things just were lined up better, I would have sim. But it's actually the other way around. This is what he says that sima is what empowers things to line up better. And the reason is because the ability to give the ability to receive again happens in a context of that's just a particular soul coak that's a particular um I don't want to say emotional faculty but human internal faculty it might not be emotional exclusively it's a faculty however deep it's a human function of the soul a utility of the soul But sima is referred to often as the joy of the soul because it's essentially the soul itself. It's like a resuscitation. And when we somehow inspire that sima, which is the soul itself, which means when we connect to what matters to us on a very deep and personal level, we can now show up differently. We show up in a in a way where we're ready to emulate, to emulate, and to even receive pleasure, enjoyment, passion, and to frame ourselves where we can actually show up to be mashim givers in a way that's enjoyable or receivers in a way that's enjoyable. So there's the two layers of context. The context of giving and receiving in the context of the pleasure which allows one to draw or give more. And then the context that that takes place in is a context of sima, a context of joy. Because real simka talks to the soul, talks to what matters so deeply and personally to the soul itself. Not how did that make me feel or how does that make me think or what but it's much more fundamental. It's like this fundamental jolt which is why Together.