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Is there such a thing as too much therapy?
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Rabbi Shias Taub on different Modes of Therapy
Categories:Torah/Gemara
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I'm a big fan of Rabbi sha tab I
appreciate a lot of the things he says
he's a wise man but he recently said
something about the notion of therapy
and one of the risks of therapy while I
do agree with him philosophically I
think practically there's an important
distinction that needs to be made take a
listen to the recording can therapy
actually be dangerous I think people are
talking about that more nowadays because
it's sort of become fashionable to
recognize that we may not be doing
ourselves a favor by ruminating in our
problem were thinking too much about the
negativity that's true I have another
issue though that I want to bring up
which is that to me I see one of the big
dangers and before I say what one of the
big dangers is I want to say that for
many many many people therapy is
life-saving but when one goes to a
therapist one has to understand that
essentially inherently most therapeutic
models are amoral and what I mean by
that is not immoral it's not telling you
to do bad it's aoral the difference
between immoral and amoral immoral says
I know what bad is and I'm going to do
it anyway cuz I don't care amoral says
I'm not concerning myself with the
question of morality with right and
wrong when somebody goes to therapy and
they don't already have a strong sense
of morality of right and wrong they
become very very susceptible to all
types of in most cases unintentionally
this happens but being misled and ending
up without real stability when I say
most therapeutic models are aoral what I
mean is if you go to a therapist and you
say should I leave my marriage the
answer is basically I don't know what do
you want to do like let's figure out
what you want and there's no right
there's no wrong it's whatever works for
you whereas if you're coming from a
Torah perspective there is a right or a
wrong answer and there is a higher good
that I'm trying to achieve and when I
have a problem achieving that for
whatever reason because I have
intellectual or emotional blockage then
I would go to a therapist and I would
tell them what my moral objective is and
they would help me to achieve it now
Rabbi sh made the point that therapy is
inherently amoral not immoral but amoral
in the sense that it doesn't follow a
morality code its aim is to help you
essentially with what you want now
here's the problem I think that's
philosophically or inherently true
fundamentally true I don't think most
therapists are amoral and I believe
that's actually a problem
ironically because a therapist who is
following
a morality code it's unlikely that
that's going to be your morality code
necessarily and what happens is
therapists inevitably push values that
they believe in and now they take the
role of the clergy rather than the role
of a therapist which means they take the
role of somebody who's trying to teach
you what is right and wrong as opposed
to somebody who is trying to heal you
and I can't tell you how many people
I've spoken to that told me they're
therapist IST advised that they do this
their therapist advised that they do
that I had spoken to so many people
where therapist had told them that they
should get a divorce because they should
prioritize their happiness now besides
for me disagreeing with that advice
categorically not to say that there is
no place for divorce and that it isn't
necessary I think it's not the
therapist's role to suggest that the job
of the therapist is to heal not to
suggest things I had a in the world of
therapy who said some who said something
which I thought was totally brilliant he
used to say don't encourage your clients
Empower your clients when you encourage
people which is what many therapists do
they try to encourage something behind
that encouragement is an agenda that
you're trying to encourage and it might
be a good agenda it might be a positive
agenda but it's a value it's a moral
that you believe is healthy and I'm
trying to push that on the client
empowering the client is healing them
and respects their autonomy and enables
them to make their own decisions so
while I agree that inherently
therapeutic models should be immoral
because they shouldn't be trying to
pushing and encourage agendas and values
on people they should be focused on
healing I think in practice when
choosing a therapist people need to be
very careful and understand that not
only like what Rabbi TB said being
careful that they have their own morals
straight and that they have their own
Clarity but choosing a therapist whom
either has values that they share or has
the ability to empower and not just
encourage and not push their own values
okay that's my story and I'm sticking to
it