Intimacy; How To Share Yourself Without Losing Yourself [Parshas Naso]

Okay, guys. So, in parshas Naso, we address a very important issue, which is the balance in having a relationship with God without losing yourself. How do we do that? There may at times seem like there's an inherent contradiction between God and existence. I mean, for God to create the world in the first place, the Kabbalah the Kabbalists teach that God employed tzimtzum, which is um he essentially hid himself to allow an independent existence to thrive as we know it. So, independence and God don't actually co-exist co-exist. And where you find God, what you actually notice is that nothing is truly independent. In fact, if you had to choose one word that would encapsulate who God is or what God is, um not that you could truly do that to the full extent, but it one word that really frames God uh well, I think, is independence. That's how the Rambam describes God, defines God. He says, "The mitzvah to believe in God is the is the mitzvah of believing that there is an original being from which comes everything and of whom who is dependent on nothing. Everything is dependent on something, and God is that something that everything is dependent on. Which means when we feel independent that may contradict God. How do we have a relationship with God? Yet somehow still maintain our autonomy, still maintain our identity, not fully lose ourselves. One way to do it is to compartmentalize. But that doesn't actually address the issue. Cuz that just means we're living a double life. There is our sacred life at synagogue and then there was our regular human life at home or at work. Well, then that doesn't really that's not a relationship. That's like that's just business, you know. In business we compartmentalize things. But if we want to have a deep, meaningful relationship with God, how do we do that? Okay, we could lose ourselves. But if we lose ourselves, then we're no longer present in the relationship. It's a one-sided relationship. It's like in in a marriage. If your spouse has no opinion, it's like, "Well, come on. >> [laughter] >> Don't you care?" And then if your spouse is too opinionated, it's like, "Well, come on. Don't you see where I'm coming from?" Right? So, you can't win, you can't lose. So, it it's the same issue with God. How How How do we do this? Okay, the answer is we need both. There is some sort of balance. >> [snorts] >> This is what King Solomon calls, by the way, the Song of Songs because a song has this back and forth balance. >> [snorts] >> Trying to figure out who we are. Trying to figure what the note is. Is it a high note? Is it a low note? Sometimes it's high, sometimes it's low. And when [snorts] you can get both of them, you can have beautiful harmony. We have to figure out somehow in our relationship with God what our place is. Do we approach God with passion, with love, with connection, with interest? With opinion, with autonomy and agency? Do we approach God with what we call bittel? The sentiment of it's just not about me. >> [snorts] >> This is the same question that's going to arise in marriage and in relationships. If marriage is too self-centered, that's probably not a good thing. >> [snorts] >> If it's just what I want, my preferences, well, that could definitely contribute to a lack of stability, God forbid. But if it's just, "Yeah, whatever you want, sure. I'll do whatever you want. I won't even, you know, it's like, well, then who are you having a relationship with anyway? How do we strike the balance between having a relationship, a dedicated relationship, that is not self-centered, that is bittel, that is about something bigger than me, without losing myself? I'll tell you why it's important not to lose ourselves. It It's not just that it's not sustainable or it feel good. That's not what God is looking for. God created us. Not to lose ourselves, but to engage ourselves. Let me frame this a little bit differently. There seems to be a dissonance. Almost like a gap between who God is and how we experience him. In other words, God has like an occupational hazard. You know what the occupational hazard is? It's like a teacher. Teachers have occupational hazards, especially school teachers. Here's the occupational hazard. Rabbis could have this as well, by the way. If you are too in the books, in the clouds, too theoretical, too philosophical. You're unrelatable. How's anybody going to learn from you? And if you are too down-to-earth, you're too cool. Well, I have friends that are closer to my age and that are cooler than you. >> [laughter] >> Right? So, so which one is it? You can't win. Right? So, if I relate if God is just so relatable, and he's everything I imagined him to be, then I created a God in my own image. Is that really God? Or is it just what I want God to be? And if God is something much more truer than what I could ever imagine, whatever I could more true than what I could wrap my thoughts around, well, then that's not a very meaningful God. That's an irrelevant God. So, there's this dissonance between a true version of God versus a relevant version of God. Now, obviously they could be one of the same, they could align. >> [snorts] >> But, how do we get there? Because when they align, we have truth without losing ourselves. Can I believe in the truth without the truth hurting? You know, the truth hurts as they say, or facts don't care about your feelings. As Ben Shapiro says, can I believe in the facts and still be relevant? And still matter? Still have an opinion? Can [snorts] I experience a deep connection in marriage, in a relationship where I honor somebody else? It's not about me, and it still feels good. The answer is in this week's parashah. Parashas Naso. >> [snorts] >> Among the many things that take place in this week's parashah is the inauguration of the mizbe'ah, of the altar. On the first of Nisan, Rosh Chodesh Nisan, Moshe finally inaugurated the Mishkan. Finally inaugurated the temple for God. Let's Let's put this in historical context for a second. From the moment God decided to create the world, I'm going way back here historically. From the moment God decided to create the world, which means time didn't even exist yet, space didn't even exist yet. It was just a general plan in his thoughts. Well, where did that erupt from? What motivated that? A deep desire for God to dwell in a place where he seems more most absent. What what the the midrash calls God had a lust, a desire, a deep desire for a dirah batachtonim, a dwelling place in the lowest of realms. Not the geographic not geographically low, but spiritually low. God wanted to dwell there, so he created a world where he seemed totally absent. That's what creation was. And gave us a blueprint through the Torah in how to accomplish this. And at Mount Sinai Mount Sinai was like the first real experience, raw experience of God in this world. Since the um the sin of the golden calf not the golden calf, sorry, the sin of the tree of knowledge. >> [snorts] >> Prior to the tree of knowledge, God's presence was felt, but it was the default. It wasn't earned. And because it wasn't earned, it wasn't appreciated. So, God had to remove himself. Abraham tried bringing God back. Yitzhak tried bringing God back. And had succeeded to an extent. But the final manifestation presence of God in this world was the revelation at Sinai. We had just celebrated it on Shavuot. And it felt good. But it felt too good. And it backfired. It backfired because the inspiration was too much for what we could handle. We kept dying and God had to revive us. And we finally said to Moshe, "Why don't you convey the commandments from God to us. But, the inspiration that lingered afterward, how long did that stick around for? Not too long. Right? Another 40 days. Moshe went up for for 40 days to get the tablets after the giving of the Torah, and he comes down and we're dancing around the golden calf. So, the inspiration came, the inspiration went. And God said, "Well, what happened to me manifesting in this world? The first time, I was here by default. Didn't take. Guys ate from the tree of knowledge. The second time, I come down to you guys and inspire you. I brought you up to me and it still didn't take. You sinned with the sin of the golden calf. So, let's try something different. I'll build I'll instruct you on how to build a house for me. That's the tabernacle, that's through the Mishkan, the sanctuary. And I'll manifest, I'll dwell, I'll live here comfortably, and you can come visit me when you're ready. On your terms. That was the whole purpose of the Mishkan. Us will be mikdash, make for me a mikdash shachanti bisocham, and I'll dwell in it. Or really in them. Or should I just say it's it's in them, it's in everybody. >> [snorts] >> There's the literal structural Mishkan, and there is the psychological interpersonal Mishkan. And the whole purpose is so that we can connect to God meaningfully. And the day that it was finally inaugurated, you know how it's described? The day of the inauguration of the Mishkan is described as a wedding day. In fact, if you look in the parsha, it says, I'm trying to pull up the text here so I can It says Vayehi Bayom, and it was in the day Kalos Mosha L'hakim Es Hamishkan. It was the day that Mosha completed establishing the Mishkan. Rashi asks the question, why does it say Kalos? He had completed establishing the Mishkan. Why don't you just say it was the day he established the Mishkan? The word Kalos, Rashi says, comes from the word Kallah, a bride. The Jewish people were like a bride. God was like the groom, and the Mishkan the wedding canopy. What is the relationship we're supposed to have in this Mishkan, in this sanctuary for God? It's supposed to be deep. Because God is like the broom the groom, we are like the bride. And there's this deep intimate connection that is able to take place in this Mishkan. And in deep intimate connections, it's not about you, but you get to be you. And somehow there's a balance between the two. For the next 13 days, the leader of every tribe brings a special gift to inaugurate the Mizbeach. We read about this not only in this week's parsha, we also read about this on Chanukah. Because on Chanukah, the Mizbeach, the altar, had been inaugurated. Then the parsha concludes with Mosha conversing with God, and the Torah tells us how Mosha had his conversations with God. Here's what it says. I'm going to read the Hebrew text then I'll translate it. This is going to be the answer to our question. What the Torah says and what Rashi says. It says uvavoi Moshe el ohel moed and Moshe goes into the tent of meeting ledaber ito to speak with God. The tent of meeting means not the Holy of Holies but the outer space right outside of there. So the the altar okay, I should have brought up like a picture here. But the the the way the Mishkan worked was you had I'm actually going to draw it right here and I'm going to see if I could share share it with the screen. Okay. You guys see this? Take a look at the screen. I'm putting on the video screen as well. So the shaded area is the Kodesh Hakodashim the Holy of Holies. This is a bird's eye view of the Mishkan. Right outside of that is what's called the tent of meeting. That's like where the menorah was. So the shaded area is where the Kohen Gadol goes on Yom Kippur. Once a year. That special spot. That's where the ark was the ark of the covenant was. The non-shaded area inside that's where the incense the the smaller mizbe'ach the smaller altar was. That's where the menorah was. That's where the showbread were was. And then you have the courtyard. And this courtyard is where the bigger altar was. Which I have a picture of over here. Okay? Moshe is in the tent of meeting speaking with God. The tent of meeting means right outside the Holy of Holies. Vayishma is hakol midaber elav. Moshe hears the sound of God speaking to him. Where does he hear it from? Me'al hakapores. From right on top of the covering of the ark of the covenant that had the two kruvim on it. Asher al aron, that was on the aron, that was on the ark ha'edus of testimony. Miben shnei hakruvim. From between the two kruvim. Vayedaber elav. And Hashem spoke to him. So Moshe is in the tent of meeting. He hears God. Where does he hear God from? He hears God from right on top of the ark of the covenant which is in the next room right behind the curtain. Behind that curtain there's a sound coming. But Moshe hears it from where he is. And Rashi tells us that this sentence addresses a very important question. You know what the important question is? Where is God? >> [snorts] >> Because one sentence says in the book of Leviticus that God speaks to Moshe from the tent of meeting. Which is right outside the Holy of Holies. Another sentence says that God speaks from the Holy of Holies, from right on top of the ark of the covenant. Well, which one is it? Where is God? And Rashi tells us it's both based on this sentence. The sound is coming from or at least sounds like it's coming from right on top of the ark of the covenant, the Holy of Holies, but it's heard in the tent of meeting. It's both. Now, why is that significant? Why is that important? Why does Rashi does she to tell us this? The tradition is that when Rashi tells us things he's not only addressing the simple meaning of the text. Although that is what he's doing. He's also often conveying deep messaging. And that deep messaging is deep, mystical, and at the same time simple. And here's what Rashi's telling us. Where do you hear the voice of God? So the Kabbalists explain that when it comes to a relationship with God in the Holy of in in the Mishkan, which we all have our own Mishkan, there's two paradigms. There is the Holy of Holies type relationship with God and there is the Tent of Meeting type relationship with God. What is the Holy of Holies type relationship with God where the Ark of the Covenant is? That's that sacred space where you come in and you don't get Okay, I I This is going to sound funny, but you don't get to be you. It's not about you. In fact, if you go in at the wrong time or at the wrong place that's not a good thing. That's not a safe thing. Because in the Holy of Holies, only one person goes in at the right time and at the right place. And if you're not the right person in the right place then you get in your own way. You can't be there. It's that sacred. There's no individuality. There's no independence. There's no opinions. The Kohen Gadol would not go in with his eight beautiful colorful clothing. He'd go in with pure white with simplicity. And in that space, you experience the raw truth of God without getting in the way. In that space, you don't necessarily have an opinion. You have clarity. You don't have questions because you don't even need answers. It's just clear. The Kohen Gadol would go there on Yom Kippur representing all the Jewish people. Then, you have the Tent of Meeting, which is right outside of there. And over there, you do have diversity. You have diverse ways of connecting to God. You have the altar. You have the menorah. Are you going to connect through gifts, or are you going to connect through light? You have the showbread. You have the shulchan, the table. You have a space that is more accessible. You have a space that is accessed on a daily basis. You have a space that is accessed with your own self. Your feelings, your thoughts, your opinions. Where did Moshe hear God? Well, one sentence says you hear God in the Holy of Space holiest of spaces when it's not about you. One sentence says, well, you have to have some individuality. And our sentence says, where did Moshe hear God? From both spaces. You only truly get the truth of God. The relationship is only truly intimate and deep and real when it's not about you. In other words, it's true. But you still matter in that relationship. You're still relevant in that relationship. You're relevant as an individual in that relationship. So it's the Holy of Holies. And it's the Tent of Meeting. Where you have an independent identity still. That's where Mosha heard God. That That's what an intimate close relationship is. It's not about you, but you get to be you. And what had transpired to set the Jewish people up to experience this? Cuz like Rashi says this was a like a wedding. This was an intimate deep connection. But what transpired that set the Jewish people to experience this? The answer is initiative. Because right before this, we read about the 12 different offerings of the 12 tribe leaders, the 12 leaders of each tribe. Who commanded them to bring those offerings? That we read about? Nobody. They decided that this is how we're going to inaugurate the Mishkan. They took initiative. It was 12 individual gifts. So there's the individuality. And brought by individuals. Brought by by individual people that they initiated that this is what they want to do. They want to engage in this relationship. They showed that it's important to them. >> [snorts] >> I came across this idea that we're developing right now in a Sicha, in a teaching from the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and he had shared such an practical example, yet not easy, and unconventional at the same time. What would indicate that our relationship with God This is risky, okay? Take Take this Don't take this out of context. What would indicate that our relationship with God is true, but we're not losing ourselves, we're being ourselves? If we can invest creativity in our relationship with God, and I say that with extreme care, because we can't reform Judaism or reconstruct Judaism, you can't reshape truth to your own convenience, but at the same time, we create a kosher space for creativity. And what that means practically, what I mean by that, is to study Torah and integrate it in a way that it speaks to us meaningfully, not in a way where we feel like we're just being a tape recorder, a mouthpiece. We are a mouthpiece for truth, but it's being filtered through our own unique way of looking at it. And it's it's a It doesn't mean to be creative in inventing religion, God forbid. But within reason and within the limits that we have to have an opinion in what it means to be a God-fearing Jew in the 21st century or whatever century you may be watching this video. No, I'm kidding. In the 21st century. This is what we call Hadushah Torah. Where we are not just repeating what it says in the books. And we're certainly not fabricating what it says in the books, either. But we're applying what it says in the books. If we can strike the balance between authentic connection to something that is thousands of years old with creative integration. Which means we're not changing anything. We're just being creative in how we process and share the information, share the application. If we could study Torah in that way, that would indicate that we've struck We've begun to strike that balance. It's like in a relationship. If you can honor your spouse in the way they want to be honored, the way she wants to be honored, but in your unique way, without adulterating anything, without changing anything. If you could strike that balance, you know that the connection is real, but also personal. And that those two things are not at odds with each other. If you could connect to something that is so true and so real that Moshe Rabbeinu would recognize it. But you embrace it with your personality. Your unique personality. We all have our quirks. We all have our stick. We all have our things. Like when we get home from work and we or we shut off the camera or whatever, nobody's watching, we're just ourselves. And if the Torah can talk to ourselves in a very deep way, without adulterating the message. We could still lean into ourselves. We know that we began to do that to to to to bridge these two worlds and that God is beginning to become more comfortable with dwelling in this world. That we're making a real impact and making God's presence known. Okay, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.