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Instead of asking HOW ask WHY

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Rabbi Josh Zebberman avatar
Rabbi Josh Zebberman

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Couples often see me wanting to know how to fix their marriage. But the truth is, what they really need to focus on is why they need to fix their marriage. Talk to any Holocaust survivor. Ask him or her how they had survived the Holocaust. The answer will likely be, I don't know. Ask them why they survived the Holocaust, where they got that motivation from. there was some sort of drive to keep pushing, to survive, to live, and to later rebuild their lives and thrive. When you have a why, somehow you have it within you to figure out the how. When couples figure out why they want to save their marriage, why they want their marriage to be better. The how gets figured out on their own. I see it. They start coming up with incredible solutions that I myself never would have thought of because I believe that they have the answers within them. [Music]