How to Talk to Your Spouse When You're Afraid

Hey, if you are afraid to talk to your spouse and you're not afraid because you might, God forbid, get abused. I'm not talking about an abusive or potentially harmful situation. I'm talking about a feeling of insecurity, of inner insecurity. Where you've been walking on eggshells, you hadn't been sleeping in the same bedroom, you haven't had a real conversation. Maybe you've had some difficult conversations that felt forced, but you didn't get a chance to actually meet eye to eye and connect. And you want some advice on how to have a real conversation that is civil, that is calm, that is deep, that is respectful. A conversation that will put you on a journey towards shifting closer to connection. Here's what you need to do. Imagine you had this conversation with your spouse and it went better than expected. You didn't notice the eggshells that were there. The fact that you haven't been in the same bedroom hasn't stopped you. You feel, well, at least we're in the same home. And for some reason you're feeling hopeful. And you didn't even notice the time that passed by in this short conversation. But for some reason things just flowed. There was just a lightness, there was an ease in the way you were talking. Imagine that somehow happened. I don't know yet how, but imagine it did. What would be different about you? What is the first thing you'd notice about yourself that would be different? Would you be calmer on the inside? Would you have more faith in yourself? Would you feel lighter? At that moment when you go, "That was nice." What do you notice about yourself? Because that is the version of you that you need to position yourself as entering that conversation because that's what's actually going to help you connect. Not trying to attack why things aren't going well and figure out what the problems are, but actually figuring out how you need to position yourself, the version of you you need to be. And if things went well, who would you be? That's who you need to start becoming right now.