How to Bring Back Love From Sinai into Your Life (Shavuos Edition)

Welcome. Story begins. We're going to explore Shavuot, explore Matan Torah, the giving of the Torah. In order to have received the Torah at Mount Sinai, there was an important prerequisite. And this prerequisite may seem at sometime at times quite unnatural. And that prerequisite is unity. All the Jews being on the same page. Which is tough, man, because two Jews, three opinions. You know, that that's difficult. And to put things in context, historical context, remember right before as we were leaving Egypt, we're cornered at the sea. The Egyptians on one side, the sea at the other. We don't know what to do. And there was four different camps, there's four different views. There's four different schools of thought as to what to do. Whether go back and surrender, go back and fight, pray, or maybe this is not a life worth living, God forbid. There's different views, and none of them were correct. God told Moshe to let them know that they needed to just travel forth. And the sea ultimately had split for them. The reason why I bring this up is because there's different ways of seeing things. And sometimes when we have different ways of seeing things, none of us can be right. Sometimes some of us are right, and sometimes all of us are right. But sometimes those differences can make it harder to like each other. And make it harder to unite. But somehow as we are getting closer and closer to Mount Sinai we camp. And the Torah says when we had camped, "Vayichan" I'll quote and then translate. "Vayichan sham Yisrael neged ha'har." He Israel camped across the mountain. And commentaries point out that normally it says "Vayachanu." They camped cuz so many people were there. How many Jews were there? There were 600,000 Jews, right? That was in last week's parashah. The Book of Numbers. But the truth is there were 600,000 men from age 20 to 60. There were men over 60, there were men under 60 that were not part of that count. There were uh women that were not part of that count. There was the tribe of Levi. All the Levi'im and the Kohanim that were not part of that count. Altogether there's about 3 million Jews. And the Torah references these 3 million Jews as a he and he camped. Despite the fact that in other sentences it says and they camped. And he camped across the mountain. So Rashi says based on the Midrash that there was unity here. And he quotes the famous phrase, they camped or he camped, "K'ish echad b'lev echad." Like one man with one heart. All 3 million people were aligned. Like one man with one heart. Remember that phrase. "K'ish echad b'lev echad." Like one man with one heart. Somehow we were all united. What put us together? What pulled us together? How did we finally connect at that moment? And was our connection limited to that moment? Was it just a one-time thing? Or is it a relevant thing now? I mean, we don't have a Mount Sinai. Maybe even physical Mount Sinai geographically exists. But we don't have a Mount Sinai event. Or at least there doesn't always seem to be a Mount Sinai event in our life that can possibly unite 3 million Jews. Can Can you imagine for a moment, by the way, that all I don't know how many Jews there are, 15 million, 18 million, all the Jews united emotionally, as if we were one person with one heart? I mean, look at Israeli politics. Look at how diverse Judaism is. Can you imagine having that unity? Uh I That's hard to picture, but but but by the way, when Messiah comes, we're going to experience this. But think about this unity on a micro level. It might be easier to envision on a micro level. The unity we had, where we were like one man with one heart, what were our conversations like with individuals? What were our conversations like to one person among 3 million? At the moment where he camped, and therefore we were like one man with one heart. They were probably much more peaceful. They were probably much more meaningful. They were probably better. If all Jews were united, because we're about to receive the Torah. What do you think individual relationships, marital relationships were like? Presumably, they were better. But where does this unity come from? I'll share with you an interesting contrast. Because this is not the first time the theme of unity appears in the Torah. This idea of the Jews leaving Egypt, going toward Mount Sinai, he camped near the mountain, and therefore we're like one man with one heart, appears in the Torah portion of Yisro. But rewind one portion prior. When he had when we had finally left Egypt. And theoretically going from Egypt to the land of Israel, which is our ultimate destination, is a pretty quick journey. I mean, they border each other. But God took us the long way. Took us through the Sinai desert to receive the Torah, then a 40-year pit stop, then we went into Israel through the top of Israel near Jericho. Kind of toward the north, near kind of Syria. God took us the long way. From Pharaoh's perspective, as we're leaving Egypt, what does Pharaoh see? He sees confusion. They're lost. God was taking us the long way cuz he needed us to go through the Sinai desert because he wanted the Torah to be specifically given at Mount Sinai, not in the land of Israel. Because the Torah is likened to a desert. Nobody has monopoly on the Torah. Anybody can come and learn and study Torah. It's in a land that no one possesses, even in the desert. So, God wanted that to be in the desert. God also didn't want us to chicken out. So, taking the long way could be useful. But, what does Pharaoh see? What does Pharaoh see when we're leaving Egypt? Pharaoh says, "Nivuchim hem." They were lost. They're confused. And what happens when a bully sees somebody who looks lost or confused, whether they are or not? What happens when a bully sees somebody who looks lost or confused? He sees a vulnerability. And when a bully sees vulnerability, he sees opportunity. That's when Pharaoh sends his men and his 600 chariots to chase after the Jewish people, corner them by the sea. And as the Egyptians are chasing after the Jewish people, a similar singular expression is quoted in the Torah, "And he chased the Jew And he chased He, the Egyptians, chased." And Rashi says a similar sentence, noting that the Egyptians were united. But, if you notice the language Rashi uses, there's a subtle difference. The I I'm putting this in parentheses for a second, guys. It's important to know this. Rashi's role is to teach us the simple meaning of the Torah. The literal explanation of the Torah. But, the tradition is that the literal explanation of the Torah is often the deepest explanations of the Torah. And sometimes Rashi's quoting a measure, sometimes he's quoting different things. But, Rashi quotes things in a very specific way, using very specific language, because he's actually trying to convey specific messaging. That's the tradition. That tradition is handed down from the Shulchan Aruch Rabbi Yishmael Horowitz from the 1500s. The language Rashi uses to depict the Egyptian unity is similar to the language Rashi uses uses to depict Jewish unity with a subtle difference. You ready? When it comes to Jewish unity as we're getting close to the mountain, it says "K'isha k'lev echad." We were like one man with one heart. When describing Egyptian unity, when they were united over their common goal of trying to annihilate us, the language says "K'lev echad k'isha echad." With one heart like one man. When describing Jewish unity, we were one heart we were one man with one heart. When describing Egyptian unity, we were one heart and they were one heart as if they were one man. Same idea but in the reverse order. And what is the difference? If we could understand this, we could understand what true unity is. True connection is. To the Egyptians, what united them was an external goal. To annihilate the Jewish people. And that external goal was a common passion they shared. And therefore they were one. Therefore they were united. In other words, what united them? What made them feel one? What made them feel connected? The fact that their hearts happen to be on the same page for something very specific. They were belev echad, ke'ish echad. They were They had one heart. And therefore they were united. In one particular area where they happen to be emotionally attuned. Which was their anti-Semitism, which is their common hatred. That's what united them. And therefore they were like one person. They were like one person because their heart happened to have been in the same place. But contrast that to Jewish unity. Where we were by Mount Sinai ke'ish echad belev echad. We were one person with one heart. Our hearts being attuned was a symptom or an outcome of us being like one person. As opposed to the Egyptians them being like one person was a symptom of their hearts being united. Well, which connection is going to be more stable? Which connection is going to be Which unity is actually going to be real unity? Real oneness. So Rashi is asserting that Jewish oneness is emotional attunement because we are one. As opposed to the Egyptian model of oneness which is acting as if you are one because you happen to be emotionally attuned. And what happens if that emotional torment foils? Let's say God forbid they succeeded in satiating craving their common hatred. Let's say in other words, let's say the reason or the cause for their emotional torment was gone. You know what would also be gone? Their unity. Their unity, their oneness was dependent on an emotional temperature that may or may not last. But for the Jews at Sinai, the emotional temperature was an outcome of a deeper unity. I'll share with you one of my favorite examples. The thermometer versus the thermostat. Think of the emotional temperature as a thermometer or a thermostat. For the Egyptians, it was a thermometer. They were merely displaying connection. And for the Jews, thermostat. They were setting the connection. But what was it about the Jews that united them? Because if we can figure this out, we can apply that same unity in our own lives. Now, the truth is unity and as we're discussing over here, emotional unity may seem unlikely or may seem impossible to many. Because how could we possibly be aligned? I I don't mean how could we be respectful. You can always be respectful. You can always tolerate somebody else. You could always bite your tongue as they say. So I'm not talking about it. I'm talking about actually being united. Emotionally, how is that possible? You can't even compare the emotional sophistication Moshe had with the emotional sophistication I might have. Especially in the context of our relationship with God. What is there even to say that we're all united, we're all the same, we're all It sounds cute. But what is going on here? What is the cause of that unity? So Rashi hints to this. Whenever you learn Rashi the way Rashi is structured, as most commentaries are, is you have the sentence of the Torah then you have the sentence you have the sentence of the Torah then you have Rashi's commentary structured as like a footnote to the sentence, to the pasuk, to the verse. Rashi always quotes a headline. Right? He quotes the section of the verse that he is commenting on. And in the sentence Vayichan Sham Yisrael And here the Jewish people camped neged hahar, across the mountain. Rashi over there comments, they were like one heart with They were like one man with one heart. So Rashi in his headline quotes, and you know what he quotes? He quotes, listen to this. He quotes Vayichan Sham Yisrael, and here Yisrael had camped. He omits the words neged hahar. Across the mountain. He's commenting on the entire verse, but he doesn't quote the entire verse that he's commenting on. He quotes only three three words of that verse that he's commenting on. The verse says Vayakhan sham Yisrael, he Israel camped as an individual neged hahar, across the mountain. Rashi in his commentary, where he says this depicts unity. K'ish echad b'lev echad, like one man like one heart. In his headline, only quotes the word Vayakhan sham Yisrael, he Israel camped omitting neged hahar, omitting across the mountain. He doesn't mention the mountain part. Why? Make the question a little stronger for a second. Most of Rashi's interpretations are sourced in the Midrash or the Talmud. Rashi did us the service of sifting through thousands of Midrashim, thousands of passages and pages of the Talmud that discuss biblical insight, and Rashi chose the ones that he believed were pertinent to the literal understanding of the Torah, rather than homiletic or spiritual or or Kabbalistic or whatever. If you look in the original Midrash Rashi is quoting, the Midrash says they were one because they were at the mountain. But if you look back at Rashi in his headline, he quotes Vayakhan sham Yisrael, and he Israel camped. And he describes the unity they had, but again omits the words neged hahar, across the mountain. You know what Rashi's trying to convey over here? That what unites us is not the mountain. What unites us is the people who were at the mountain. The Jewish people. The entire sentence if you look that the Torah is just telling us the history of what happened. And he Israel camped near the mountain, across the mountain. Rashi tells us and he Israel camped, there was unity there. He doesn't mention the mountain part, not cuz it didn't happen, but because that wasn't the cause for what happened. It wasn't the mountain that caused us to unite. If it was the mountain, you might say, well, I don't see no Sinai now. So many times in life when we experience meaningful deep connection, whether it be with God, whether it be with other people, whether it be with a friend, whether it be a more intimate connection. So many times we try to ascribe circumstances that enable that connection. We say, yeah, it was Yom Kippur, it was inspiring, and there was a beautiful chazzan, and there was you. You were there. And when the chazzan's not there, and when it's not Yom Kippur anymore, you're still there. So many times when I work with couples, I'll ask them about a better moment of their relationship than they might be experiencing right now. And they'll describe a vacation they had together. A meaningful experience they had together. And it comes together with some sort of Okay, I don't want to say excuse. I don't know if excuse is the right word, but some sort of like excuse, it's because of this that it happened. It's because we were in a better place that it happened. It's because you know, things were more Okay, it's obviously easier to connect when you're on vacation. But it's not the vacation. It's you. Somebody once told me prior to working together, I was explaining them my process and how I help couples. And he says, "Okay, I really hope this works." I says So I said, "This doesn't work." I said, "You work." There's no this. This is what Rashi's telling us. It's not the mountain. It might be easier at the mountain because it's inspiring. But you could still choose to fight at the mountain if you wanted to. >> [snorts] >> Which means it's not the mountain. It's you. That's what Rashi's telling us. He omits the words neged hahar across the mountain cuz he wants us to know that the unity the Jewish people experienced, which was deep, it was deeper than even of that of the Egyptians because the emotional temperature of the connection reflected a deeper sense of unity. And who's responsible for that? Not the mountain. Not our surroundings, not our environment. Us. Rashi's telling us we are capable of that unity. You look at Rashi's quote Vayichan sham, and he camped there Yisrael. There's a Yisrael within. We are the people of Israel. And that quintessential exists deep within. And when we discover it, unity is there. When we discover it, connection is there. We just have to pay more attention to it. Every day in davening, we say Shema Yisrael. Israel, listen. And what happens when we're able to listen to the Israel? When we're able to listen to the neshama. When we're able to identify a part of ourselves that feels connected to our people. That feels connected to our homes, that feels connected to our spouses, to our children, to our friends. When we discover that version of ourselves, we start realizing that our ability to show up more peacefully, more united, so we could receive this Torah, so we could finally connect to God. It's not about the mountain. It's not about the circumstances. It's us. And as we're about to approach Shavuot, we're approaching that mountain. And and the truth is, we're going to approach at some point soon, and we're getting there soon. The era of Mashiach, the Messianic era. Where just like at Mount Sinai, God's presence became known to the world, God shared himself, that's how Isaiah describes the prophecies when Mashiach comes. God is going to share himself with us. And a prerequisite to that is the unity. But it's unity that we create. It's not a unity that is circumstantial, it's essential. Okay, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.