Healing begins with a decision.

How long does it take for a relationship [music] to heal? So, I'll tell you what the Alter Rebbe writes in the Tanya, chapter 47 of Tanya. He writes this in context of reconnecting with our relationship with God, but the same is true in interpersonal relationships as well. He says that our relationship with God is inherently there. What it takes is awareness. The relationship is inherent, the relationship is intrinsic. The question is how aware are we How aware are we of the relationship? And it really boils down to how much do you actually want this relationship. He says nothing can stop the soul from connecting to God besides for one's own will. If a person doesn't want it, you know, it doesn't have to happen. But here's what he says. Uh I'm going to read it in the Hebrew and I'll translate cuz I just find this to be so powerful. Aval miyad she ritzeh As soon as one wants it, um akabel mamash elokus el Hashem baruch hu, the moment one resolves and begins to pull God on him, and he does this by saying the Shema, harei mamela lehechni nichlal el nafsho be Hashem baruch hu, his soul is already part of that connection. When does the connection begin? The moment you decide that you actually want it. I see this with couples all the time. Married couples that are going through a very difficult time, and there's a moment. It's like a switch. Doesn't mean that all the issues go away, at least not yet, and it doesn't mean everything's figured out, but there's a switch where they just decide, we want it. And the moment they decide that they want it, that is when the healing begins.