Attention Shapes Connection.

Whenever a relationship tends to dip, the first thing we do is try to figure out why it's dipping. We think that if we have a better understanding of the issue, a better understanding of our triggers, a better understanding of the negative patterns, we can somehow come up with a solution. While we're actually doing this, what is becoming the center of our marriage? What is the focal point of our marriage? Problems. You think you're trying to solve the problem, but what you're actually doing is making your marriage center around problems. What would you rather point of your relationship be? What would you want your marriage to actually be centered around? Would it be love? Would it be connection? Friendship? Trust? And if somehow those became the focal point of your relationship rather than the problems that are getting in the way, do you see what that would do to your relationship? Do you see how your relationship would be better? Do you see how your communication would be better? It's most likely not a communication issue or even a respect issue or even a trust issue. It's most likely an attention issue. What is getting attention in our relationships? Because what gets attention becomes the focus and what becomes the focus becomes the experience.