Are You Sharing or Imposing? | How Chassidus Explains Rejection

One of the greatest joys in life is being in a giving position, to be a giver. One of the greatest joys in life is to be in a receiving position and to be open and receptive to something that's meaningful to you. Both of these are incredibly meaningful. But if you give something and it's not wellreceived, you feel rejection. If something is given to you or imposed on you that you don't want to receive, you feel like you are rejecting and you feel like you're being imposed on. And and both of those can be very negative experiences. And in order for relationships to flow freely, there needs to be a giving and receiving in a way that feels comfortable, in a way that feels natural, in a way that feels normal. If you feel that you're in a giving position or that you need to be in a giving position, you need to give something to somebody, you're a teacher that needs to convey information to a student, you're a spouse that needs to get your spouse to be on board in this relationship, or you're an employer that has employees that aren't on board, and you need to give instruction in order to give in a way that's wellreceived, you have to inspire the recipient. And if you are a recipient, you have to be in a position where you're actually open to inspiration. And from the givers's perspective, here's what you need to do before giving. Before giving instruction, before giving connection, before giving love, before giving anything, the very first thing you need to do is create an environment. When God had given the Torah at Mount Si, he didn't just dump a bunch of commandments on us. Okay, now we we buy in. He created an environment that was conducive for us receiving it. He brought us to Mount Si. Getting to Mount Si itself was a journey of 50 days. 50 days of preparation. The preparation got more intense and got more real especially three days before the three days of of intense preparation. He then lifted up the mountain over our heads like tell us like just tell us and the the way the balidus as well as the mubalum explained it is the mountain is a euphemism for love. word har is a is a euphemism for love and there's different sources that dive into that but Hashem had created an environment of love an environment of like we want to feel part of this Hashem created an environment of respect there was lightning there was thunder there was seriousness positioned himself from our perspective in a way that we can actually respect whom we're receiving from then he shares with us the commandments. He shares with us his values and we receive it. It's well received. Hashem created an environment and then he gave. We were open to that environment. We experienced that environment and then we received. It's the same in a marriage. In order for there to be a marriage and in the marriage ritual in Judaism, there is there is unity which the husband and wife uniting together is a giving and receiving relationship where the husband is on the giving end, the wife's on the receiving end. But in order for that to be a real unity that's not forced, that's not imposed, where there isn't rejection, there has to be an environment first. That's the That's the wedding canopy. The wedding canopy is an environment that the husband has to create. The tradition of aa started as a husband where really what it is is symbolic of a husband welcoming his wife to his home that he creates. The husband has to create an environment, an environment where there is love, an environment where he's positioned in a way that he's respected. And only then can he effectively give and could she effectively receive and could there be effective unity and connection. But before there is any giving and receiving there needs to be an environment and that environment needs to be created.