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4 Lessons that MATZAH taught me

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Rabbi Josh Zebberman avatar
Rabbi Josh Zebberman

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there are so many parallels between matah and good relationships the first one there is a Prohibition a rabic Prohibition of eating matah on the eve of pesak the Jerusalem tal says that anybody who has matah on the eve of pesak prior to the appointed time which is after a Nightfall on pesak anybody who has mat too early it's as if they had premarital intimacy with their spouse prior to the marriage in their father in-law's home it's like whoa is it really that bad eating mat before PES I mean you you're you're eating something holy it's just at the wrong time but it's really that big of a deal yes relationships are holy in the right time at the right place in the right way relationships are very sacred the Corban which is one of the commentaries on the Tudi on the jam talud explains that the reason why matah is eating matah prematurely is akin to a premature relationship what they both have in common they both Center not around the relationship but around the lust and we can't just eat matah because it tastes good if you do enjoy matah that's not a bad thing you do enjoy good relationships that's a good thing as well but we can't just have matah because it tastes good we have to have matah because this is what God wants us to have this is how God wants us to experience our freedom so lesson number one in relationships focus on the relationship ship not just on the experience a relationship a good relationship should be a good experience but it shouldn't just be experience centered it should be relationship Center our sages refer to the matah as we say in the this is the bread of on OFA often it's translated as the bread of Affliction and I'd like to share with you three interpretations and I think both of three of these interpretations have great significance in the realm of relationships number one why is it called on on means Poor Man's bread and the talmud says that the way poor people used to bake bread for the sake of efficiency and running the oven efficiently one person would man the oven one person would break the bread would bake the bread if you have the same person who's baking the bread Manning the oven you're going to burn unnecessary fuel you have two people working together it's going to burn less fuel Fuel and the talud says that's actually how mat needs to be baked it has to be baked efficiently otherwise it becomes just like way poor people back in the day would break bread it's the bread of partnership two people working together to make this bread work that's what a marriage is it's we got to work together it's poor man's bread because it takes two people not one person and it's efficient there's no procrastination another explanation why it's called leim [Music] says bread that has many things answered on it the word oni doesn't just mean poor it also means answers it's a bread of answers it's a bread of discussion with the matah on the table we ask a lot of questions we get into a lot of meaningful deep philosophical discussion about where we came from who we are where we're going what our relationship with God and our people are like and this is what keeps our relationships going good discussion we want our relationship with Judaism to flourish and to continue we got to talk about it we have to understand what it is if we want our relationship with our spouses to keep on going have discussions just talk connection learn about each other know about each other we learn about God we got to learn about our spouses a connection number three between matah and relationship it's called only poor bread why is it called poor bread so in talmudic literature any bread that had multiple ingredients oil eggs or or other uh um in addition to flour and water that was called wealthy bread and any bread that had simple ingredients flow and water like matah it's called Poor Man's bread so it's simple it's Simplicity the Mahal explains that the poor man's bread is the bread of Simplicity that is the bread of Freedom that we're celebrating that is the bread that where our relationship with God and our relationship with people flourish it flourishes in the Simplicity when we focus on who we have in this relationship not just what we have in this relationship we're not beholding to too many cooks in the kitchen to too many ingredients to too many outside influences it's just two things it's just the flower it's just the water it's just two different entities morphing together becoming one it's simple it may be poor man's bread but it's simple and it's going to last and that's where there is freedom experienced that is where there is deep meaningful intimacy deep meaningful relationships experienced that's my story and I'm sticking to it