Rabbi Feldheim: Risk & Reward

welcome everybody out there in the hazak and torah anytime universe so as usual i want to begin by thanking you guys for including me in their circle and sharing their holy hoshable audience with me is uh you know there's nothing like whatever best thing in the world to share torah and no digital need the right audience this is this is the best audience there is and i look forward to these these infrared infrequent visits with you guys okay this is this year is hosted by chickens for shabbos which is a very social organization that provides not just chickens for shabbos but also milan and teachers in cavruses for for children of almonds and groceries and food also for rebellion it's it's a very harsh organization pretty wide scope they basically take care of what needs to be taken care of and anybody who can uh help in any way it would be a great use of your staka um chickens for shabbos.com check it out this the theme of this series of shirum is always really the theme of the risk and the reward of talking during davening we're not talking during the opening really so let's get busy and uh there's a lot to do so i want to start with just giving the talking about the sheer in the context of where we are we just experienced last week kriyasyamsof and uh the mon and the splitting of the sea and and we're heading right now after right in the horizon is purim so i want to talk a little bit about the contrast between what's behind us and what's in front of us in a very very important way especially in regards to the idea of being silent and short and i'm just going to sandwich at those two bookends and we'll see and then i want to speak mainly about the parish of this week what's right in the middle of this sandwich so the sandwich is by kriyasyam what does hashem tell the jewish people the jewish people are nervous and they're fetching and they're scared and they don't to do and and the words that it says are as follows you stand stand still and look and watch hashem the salvation of hashem that what hashem will do for you today because the way you've seen israel until today you will never again see them in the same stature with the same power hashem you'd think that that's like the most important process to use but the problem is that it's a nice thought but on purim we know that the punched line of the purim story are very very different words esther is reluctant and sort of like into going crossing hersey she's sitting before the raging scene which is the king of the entire world and she's with trepidation just like the jews by the amsa but their murder as opposed to maisha saying you should be silent the words that maisha uses to esther are takarishi if you will be silent at this time salvation will come from somewhere else and the punched line of the purim story the defining moment is don't be silent but on the other hand is as you cry to be silent and here we are right in the middle of those two sandwich those two those two bread slices and we're we're the filling what what is the difference when when are we supposed to be silent when are we forbidden to be silent what is the dynamics of silence and to talk about that i want to really translate the word towards silence because it has a mysterious translation the word it means to be silent or sorry muted uh deaf whatever but it it's it's it means that but it has a more common meaning throughout the torah a whole different word that people will be shocked it's the same word and that is the faith translation means to plow you you your it's the lochus of shabbos is really the first of the maybe but really in the process it plowing is the first malacha in and to plow what does plowing have to do with silence and i i i think when the end of this year i hope somebody there's no one to remind someone's going to remind me like to cut back to this because this is the punchline sometimes i can get so sidetracked and i'm gonna come back to this but the punch line will be what the connection between plowing silence okay but meanwhile in order to resolve all of this and to get to the plowing and the silence we first have to deal with something in this week's special i want to focus on two things in this week's powershell and um um by the way anyone who's listening i i know the watch on my zoom there's no clock and i'll get through my clock so someone's got to give me like some kind of warning like i'm a half an hour so i know like uh let's say you know okay decided i don't see anything and i can get ahead of my whatever i want to finish this all right so this week's person what i want to deal with two things first of all the the sin of the ego um what happens by the ego like uh why why did the jewish worship that's the big question probably the power you know um but before that something that people don't get to talk about something even if you're like live all your life until anytime you've probably seen every share so you really have to like scrape the bottom of the pack to find something that no none of this audience has heard yet so i hopefully haven't heard this talking about most people don't even know the problem exists if you look at the the serious hard difference in this week's powershot and you look at them again right they're certainly written twice in the third and there were a number of differences between between the two sets of debris um right everyone's familiar with sahara and sharma the two different myths of shabbos that was really was said right that everyone knows one the smallest difference of all the differences is a fluff that's missing in the secondary in the first tablets it says as follows the second commandment right the second one in the tiberius that you shouldn't worship false gods and describing the idea of the false gods you should not make for yourself any peso what's the word pestle pestle is like the same words with with the tablets were actually made they were right right to chit to carve the word apostle or pasilla apostle is is something is esrin breaks it's petum it's called apostle like why what is possible so um so that ghost idea is silence is the waste the thing that's no longer useful i think when you're chiseling and you knock off the little bricks and bits of brick and the pebbles that come off that's called bacillus is the thing you want and then all the the the waste matter and uh when you reduce something useful for something that doesn't have a role anymore you were poisonous you put left it outside of what uh i guess that's one way to understand it but but the point is here that the luches were made by um chiseling that act is what what makes what makes um the lucas and that's what is forbidden in the in i'm not because i'm made that way i'm just using it just to help us under define the words the the mitzvah of false god is a pestel or a tumula don't have make a pestle which is a chiseling like i guess when you start with a block of granite and you chisel and make an idol that's a pestle because it was chiseled and the other thing is a tumula is a picture it's the opposite a peso if you start with a whole block of stone and you chisel it and the picture tamuna is where you create the thing you want you're not removing you're not going from 100 down to what you want you go zero up to what you want you're you're taking the brush and you're taking colors and you're creating what you want i think okay i'll tell you the difference first so here it says a pastel video a carving or a picture in the second tablet it says peso culture it's missing a vote it's a carving of a picture or a carving picture first of all what do you mean what does that even mean the carving of a picture and or a carving picture and i mean we understand what a carving or a picture is okay so this is this is the question i want to deal with over here and the course that i also want to explain in some way to some to some extent what happens by the golden calf all right so so what so the torah is setting up a paradigm of all idols every idol is a pestle or a tomuna don't make a pesto how does everything fit into a pestle or a tomato because and they do everything does fit into a pestle because a pestle is this these two ways to create something one is when you start with a whole block something complete and you remove what you don't want you're left with a carving and the other one is when you start with nothing you build it up those are the two models of creating everything everything in the world is either a pessimist you just started with nothing and creating something to start with everything in the mouth and took away what you want so in in false beliefs in in heresy there is also two versions of disbelief in god there's the pescel model and the tumor model and the third is saying don't have a pestle or a tomato what are the two models so the peso model is will you start with a perfect image of god you start off with a healthy picture you went to from school and you got a good a proper picture of god and but you go through life and stuff happens and you start to chisel away at him you say you know what there's a holocaust god can't be in control the world is not power um children have cancer classes god can't be compassionate and as you go through life you start to chisel away at the block of stone until you have nothing left or you have something left but you're creating god what that's the first type of heresy the first type of epicurus is to start with a full picture and be poisonous another way of other types of epicarsus is when you start the opposite i start without any picture and i look around the world and go oh this is so beautiful god must be like this and this is a good thing god must be like this my god has to be loving my god has to be kind my god has to be patient my god but what you're doing is you're creating god based on what your perceptions are and this is you it's a tuna and every every mistaken belief in god is either one of these two things either you started with a healthy complete true picture of god and you chiseled away at it or you started with an empty picture of nothing a blank slate and then you created him it would be a fascinating discussion discuss which one's worse one of the benefits is there a difference but these are it's it's a deep thing to think about that all false beliefs fall to these two categories and hashem forbids both of them so that's the case and now we have to understand so what is the second tablet when you remove the valve now you have something new a carving of a picture what's that third thing okay so now uh let's let's detach for a second and look at the story of the golden calf what what actually happened there it's such a ridiculous story they just had kriyasyam and they just they stood by harsina and they heard hashem talk how is it possible to worship a golden calf in the craziest conceptuals there's no way really to consider it you can paint the worst people in the world and they couldn't get to this place so quickly it needs to have right so so we have them aside we understand more or less what the was and if you it it really the parasha has to be seen on the heels of last week with the month the jews were complaining the whole last week also they're already something already has been going on and um all of it is described perfectly i think in what they made or replace you know to replace god and or replace moshe maybe god is this golden calf what is the symbolism of a golden calf so what is a calf you know a calf is is you it's an echo it's the catholics it's bright-eyed and on fire it's lit up it's the the golden calf is the glorification of youth of growth of expansion that's a when it gets older it puts a yolk on and it's focused and it's plowing a field or it's having a family but the calf in its vibrancy and its fullness that's the that's the what's going on is like this and again this is in my turn this is throughout jewish thought but is that the problem the jews had with the mundus is that we're sitting here in the desert we left we finally went free and now we want to build a life for ourselves we want to build do things and instead we're sitting here and everything comes from it's just this leaves us with this empty feeling that it's all we're just beggars we're just receiving bounty from god and i have no role in this and it's nice you know in egypt i was a slave but i don't want to just do nothing i want to still work hard but i want to build a life for myself you want to go there to soil and plant my own field build my own home to sit in the desert and allow when i take care of us is is it's just it's empty and the idea of food coming from and it doesn't make it any better if you tell me oh it'll taste like anything you want to taste like yeah but it'll never taste like accomplishment it'll never taste like greatness it'll never taste like mine right it not everything can be bro i can't bribe a man with uh with delicious food i mean not not at least not not the terrorist men you know today today were fractions of what we were meant to be but but uh that wasn't what was supposed to be the jewish people's complaint with the money is a holy complaint and they want they want it they want meat they want to hunt they want to be the master of their own food and they want they remember the fish they ate in mitch mitzrayim right they said we remember the fish we ate for free what does that mean the fish we ate for free you said fish don't come to you you gotta fish right but that's called free because when you hunt and you catch your own fish then there's no guilt and no debt there's nothing more expensive than things that you got for free because it it takes away your dignity and uh it's the bread of shame the name of the kisofa so this is claudia's earl's complaint in the midburg that we don't want we want to do things we don't want to be still and silent we want to be active and accomplishing and even when hashem gives them meat the wrong meat it's the meat that falls out of the sky it's like it's like hashem has a whole different agenda for them that you want to be doers and you want to be running and jumping take them on and then when you say you want meat so hashem says oh you want me this me but that wasn't the point we didn't want meat to fall out of the sky we wanted to go in the woods with our gun hang it over our fireplace mount it and look like look what i did wanted to feel accomplished and i think it's the same thing when they come to harassing and uh they receive the torah and in one second they hear you know all the truth they hear god talk to them and it's the greatest moment in the world you know everything but it's also the worst moment in the entire world for a nation who was journal was looking forward to journey who left mitsuham in a rush such a rush that the bread couldn't rise that's what we want we want that nothing's going to rise nothing's going to sit still we're going to be vibrant and on fire i don't want to be passive the symbol of pesa of the whole pesach was the activity and the fire maisha leading them with the staff the march and coming from slavery and going out to build their own land our promised land and all of a sudden to sit there and hear the whole tehran you know everyone knows anybody's learning yeshiva you know there's such unbelievable swarm today out there make learning easier but if you go to kukushima you can't touch them you know i'm older my kids i have two kids in the machine learning two different camaraderies and i want to know what their minutes like my head you know my head doesn't keep up with them they're sharper and quicker they're quicker sharper models so how do i learn two different massages i go tonight every wednesday i go where my son shave the woman's ones in there it's as well most usually with the and the other ones here so i can drive for half an hour and i can't keep up with it so i have this book called the sift on this is a nougat with all the but for middle-aged fathers who need to cheat and keep up with their kids so i i use mesifta and i could sound like a genius learning of my son even well he's still quicker than me but but okay thank god he never listens to my shirt he only listens to like rap god and like the real speakers so he'll never know i admitted all this online okay but um anyways so what's the problem with the what's the problem when i was in the ship and years ago they have misifta we had this it was called the green monster they called it the green monster because it spelled everything out for you a ben tyra needs to get out of his chair and go to the shelf and find the rajma and mess around with the pages and then sit over the raj but then he has to wait for the other guy in yeshivo has one of the two copies of the ramban and he'll trade okay i finished raj but give me the wrong button i'll give you my rajma and then the other guy has the ripple and then you got the players it was work it was work to find it and work to get it and work to figure it out and what you felt like at the end would feel like a pantera you felt like you climbed har sinai on your own it's uh that's the bracha of tomotero right la sayca de divre sora discover to make it your own how would it feel to sit har sinai and instantly know everything like it says everything that any torah scholar will ever discover was said on harsinai they got the whole thing it's like someone buys you this greatest book in the world and you turn to the last chapter and they lived happily ever after and but you didn't fall in love with the characters you didn't read the heart 500 pages you didn't it's the same thing as mud it's worse than mine because man is at least with food this is what life itself with knowledge you know i i do a a a simple puzzle and i don't want any hints i want to figure it out for myself imagine in torah you know how emasculating it must be to sit by our sanity and as glorious as it is as you walk away and what happened to me being me so this is the jewish people's complaint in fact i think even a little bit but when they this is when when it comes down after harassing they you don't know what happened to him it's not that he's not here they know where he is um we don't know what happened to our moisha the warrior the journeyer the the hero the fighter the guy with the stick and when when when did he retire when did he become you know just half broken and domesticated and all of a sudden now he's sitting home knitting was what his mother should do now they the man maisha we don't know what happened to him we have to replace him with a golden cast something that's going to glorify growth and expansion and fire no we don't want we don't want to be led by retirees people with great histories but it's all in the rearview mirror you want people who are still alive and on fire this is the jewish problem with with the whole idea of modern terror it's a heavy heavy problem and uh in fact what the jews couldn't count 40 days and they made a mistake counting to 40. what's the vart so you have to know that this is what 40 is 40 represents always completion and completion is not a good thing completion is there's nothing to do when you're complete it's very in a way it's at least the best way to articulate this complaint that i'm telling you that the jews had with the month and with matara is the problem with 40. i don't want to be done 40 40 days for a child to be for marbles tyra everything's 40 40 is sealed it's a square mem item but uh the men is it means blemish it's just there's no flaw like that it's just one big huge glaring floor then the inability to grow and this is why did you choose count 39 okay do i count one day short because it's very powerful because they couldn't believe that there was such a thing in 40 in judaism that's what death you go to go you 40 means you go to shamayim and you're done if i'm alive i have stuff to do that's why in judaism though you know a little bit you know gemara we never have 40. it always says 40 before he always means 39. the malacca are called 40-1 when you give lashes to somebody you give you don't give you know it says it says you give out forty minus one thirty nine lashes thirty nine malaccas because lashes are about change and shavas is about creativity and for growth change and creativity the opposite of growth change and creativity is completion and therefore there's no such thing as 40 we say 40 but it must mean 39 it's impossible to be 40 because 40 is not about life 40 is about death life is the journey so when the when they know that this motion is supposed to be up there for 40 days claudius all assumes like always yes it's it's 40-1 because it's he's leaving us a job he must be this is not about the end the claw you show and when we should doesn't come down 39 days and they realize that what are you paying what this is this is a real 40. like really done it's like a life forever of mine of of everyone telling me what the torah says without me figuring it out myself it's a life of 40. uh we need a golden calf this is irreparable the man maisha who we know and we don't know what happened he's not maisha anymore they broke it they changed him i don't know what happened he he got he got cooked in this cushy job and he stopped being the first guy in the office every day and the last guy to leave you know maybe it's the you know whatever it is you don't need any more metaphors you understand what i'm saying and i'll just say the deepest thing it's such a thought i don't know if anyone says it but i'm sure it's it's it's it says that the lucha is in the lucha right they were chiseled so the men the middle part of the mem and the sama the two closed letters how did it stand in there it says and i i think that the the deeper meaning of that is it's not telling us just how aesthetically how the rook has looked in a gimmicky miracle the idea is is that when thing when something is complete and there's nothing to do it's been nice you have to stand by a miracle because it's impossible for human being to live a life when everything's completed the only thing that wakes us up in the morning that gets me going is the hunger to accomplish something and to create and that's that's the meme and the song any meme all right so that's the story of the golden calf so so it's a good kasha so what's the terence right what is the answer well why did hashem give them money and why did they did they get the whole torah on her sinai and uh this this dichotomy am i supposed to be active in doing things am i supposed to be passive and you know it's a heavy question right if you ask me most people i know every rebbe i ever had sounds like they were talking like the jews and the minbar and they all talked about trusting hashem but every sinner guideline they ever told us was about working hard nobody ever told us to be passive so so what is it why buy harsina and the best way to see this is why by harassing us you should be silent the why silence when did silence become the model of the jewish people i [Music] don't play defense go go go live with dynamism and fire in power so so this is the question um i'm repeating a little bit because i have to you know let it settle my own hand how i'm going forward i'm stalling a little bit but um all right so i have two it's like a fork in the road over here which one am i going uh it's my first time doing this so all right so these two i have to explain to you to tie it together i'll tell you the fork and then we'll decide which way we're going because it would end the same place hopefully but the the fork is number i have to explain to you how plowy and silence is the same word and again and we have to get back right just so you know we are getting to get back to the tablets to understand um what what a pestle of its moon is but um really what we're trying to answer here is it is what is the answer to this question of why why does hashem give us money as opposed to letting us do it ourselves why right so the answer the answer is like this um what happened to maisha all right what happened to my show why the man and the answer is is that what the jews are saying theoretically is right you don't want to do nothing but the mistake is that people think that there are two choices that there's um it's working hard and being passive and passive is nothing and working hard is doing something and then i have to go uh you know if i'm be passive you're working too hard go let go you know be silent let them do everything hashem give you money put the c let us give you the whole torah and you you sit back and watch so the secret is like this is that is that what is the word it doesn't mean silent it means to plow everybody in the world wants to grow everybody wants a flower everybody wants to be a seater everybody's frustrated that uh that we have that i know i have to be i want to want to accomplish someone get busy give me the keys let me get in the car i want to start my life give me a you know trust me right we tell arabic and our parents and bosses let me you know give me autonomy let me show my initiative let me let me we're all chomping at the bit waiting to make our mark of the world and then and silence seems like the antithesis of what we want and the turret says no the first before you can even be zaire really before you can plant anything is first you have to plow you have to sit there and you have to leave the field and open it up soften it up allow everything to penetrate the act of of silence is not silence the act of silence is hearing this being the cobble is to stop right if you stop talking you're scared your ears can hear if you're uh the first stage is to plow your field silence is plowing it's not it's not neutral it's the act of opening yourself up and becoming vulnerable and hearing being stirred up and creating all the things that come with plowing though the experience of life is not doing or not doing it's supposed to be doing or absorbing and creating the turmoil and the wrenching longings the jewish approach to silence is being plowed is to allow the blade of the universe dig furrows into my soul my personality peel off the layers so that the seeds that hashem has will be planted firmly in the ground in the soil and most in the fertile places are not superficially just resting on top of the ground this is the idea of plowing to different silence what hashem says to the jews by her senate and uh in the midbar is that is that this journey from the tsurai imminence you know what it's like i just went on a trip and every the new generation all they do on trips is take pictures and take pictures and take pictures but you know what happens you can take pictures the whole time you miss the whole experience you know i can't figure out my phone and which button does this and i end up on how many pictures you know what i have i have memories because i saw everything i gave up on my pictures and i leave it to the kids to figure it all out but but i have memories and i saw everything when we live life you know when when you just you're busy the whole time then you don't have you're not gonna be able to absorb what's really going on and the jewish approach to silence is plowing and to see it this is what happens by criticism and the midbar hashem says this is our most important experience as you leave him inside don't waste it with activity you sit back and you get the money and you marry of feeling past and hope for the future and justice and then pride all these things the silence is deafening and it's very hard to deal with that's honest we'll get to that later but uh that's that's the silence it's a plowing that's how we have it so why did the jews want to move forward you know um and the truth is i i can't get into everything i wanted to but but that's the fork in the road i'm gonna say i already married myself to the plowing side of the fork but i'm going to tell you it on the platform and you'll you'll think about it on your own is that the answer yes 40 is a problem completion is a problem but there's a step beyond 40. you don't have to go backwards to 39. go backwards to 39 is just not doing anything this is the refusal to be complete how can you not want to be complete you know there's something wrong with not wanting to be complete the answer is this is yes 40 is bad you do nothing but you don't have to go back to 39. once you buy 40 39 doesn't exist anymore you're right there's another something called 50 right and uh there's this 50 is in calculus it's not composed it's logical you understand that music everything works within weeks works with an octage an octave means it's only seven notes the eighth note is the same as the first note it's just it's just the next level so eight is if i'm stuck at a seven i see seven sean this is completion i go oh you pay i don't want completion uh you don't go back to friday you push forward the sunday you start a whole new week you build on top of what you were that's the idea of what of what 50 is i mean that's what eight is 50 is the ultimate eight 50 is after seven seconds is 49. that's the ultimate and but then 50 is is a whole new plane and that's takes us through the whole journey up until hasina and you receive the torah and the midbar maisha's world ends by the 40. how is because the person who's going to have to lead them in the future is a whole new trade the guy who crosses the water crosses the yard and builds in the world he leaves this world of completion and goes to the next world with his vulnerability again not because he went backwards because you accomplished it and now there's a whole new level where you start from scratch but that needs to be a new person and his name is he's the 50. so the struggle here was a struggle between 39 and 40 and it was wrong for the jews to want to go back to 39 and not accept prayer of 40. they had to have the bravery to go forward to retire around 50. maisha is not going to lead you maisha took you as far as he could take you to completion but there's something beyond completion because there's a new level and you're going to cross the sea and the nerds are going to start plowing and planting and harvesting again there's not going to be any modern areas as well it's it's it's but it's on the next level it's beyond completion all right i think i tied almost everything together so now i got to go back to the end and tie it into talking very badly so so um let's go back to the the hope this is going to work we go back to the we said that there's two types of disarmament there's a pestilence of a carving where you chisel away at something and then and and then the the tomato you created so the second lucha straps the love this is so beautiful the second lucha is dropped off and the var because the represents the the made it into a pestilent moon when you remove the valve now it's a pestle of a tuna so what is that doesn't make it doesn't even make any sense in order to understand what sense it makes you have to look at it in the context of what changed between the first little heist and the second rule the first glucose before the egg on the second lucas were after the angle so what happened with the jaeger so before the eagle there were two types of zara there was a pestilence there's a pestle where you're chiseling off stuff you're not doing stuff and then this which is sort of like the silence the removal itself and then there's the tumula which is the you're building something you're creating and you're and life is either about receding or building but now you have a pestle called huna and there's a few ways to i'll tell you the punchline how we explain this a few ways to go the the pastel culture is the result of the ego because what was the aegon was the ego or tomorrow such a weird question a weird thing they go that question is crazy right a pestle is a block of stone that you chisel you start from a hundred and you work your way down the tumor is when you start with nothing you create what you want and you end up with your picture the angel is neither we're both or neither and both the ego is called the massey is the third choice when you melt all the stuff and then you pour it into a mold is that a pestle or a tana think about that is that crazy it's like a terrific what is it is it is is it is a pestle is it a pestle because you're melting it you're told it's the ultimate pestle and you're reducing it to nothing but you're pouring it into a mold you're making a tumor but the tumor is not really being something it's being shaped by what you put it into so it's really good you're making it but at the same time it's being limited in its expansion it's a pestel cultimuna that's what it is it's an activity that just looks like activity but it's really total limitation which brings me okay so i i i don't know how to say it more it's better maybe you're just visualizing your own heads you figure out what that means it's tripping right it's it's so cool it's a pestle called moon as an asexual it's a carving of a picture meaning you're trying to make something from nothing but you're reducing everything and limiting it's not about being it's about not being so i think this is what i want to share with you about talking is that um you know when i was thinking about saying i was thinking i'm going to use a muscle i'm not sure if the muscle fits 100 but it's a powerful muscle anyway we'll see after the muscle if it fits um you know i i speak a lot in my shoe i use the most simple metaphors because the simplest things are the purest and the truest and the picture of of healthy vibrant dreaming people who are not broken and destroyed there's always the prince the prince fighting the dragon to get a princess you know it's the girl the basmella is dignified she's a princess she's regal she's something worth fighting for and the boy wants to be the hero the boy who's confident and proud and hasn't done things to be ashamed of in his life he wants to be here he wants the best girl he wants to get a princess but the way a boy who has great potential gets a princess who's already perfection is the prince has to prove that he's worthy of the princess this is the story of the universe every boy will want to be the heroes getting the princess but when you need us you have to kill a dragon and you have to prove yourself because you want the princess so let's say the guy is fighting the dragon and he's doing great he's vanquishing the dragon and then the princess says at one point the dragon still has some fire left in him and they're wrestling on the ground and rolling in the dust and and then the princess says okay you proved yourself you're the best wow come we'll get married right now we'll go uh you know go to the palace and have time to live happily ever after so let's say prince charming says no no no i'm almost done let me finish the dragon i i got him i almost got him let me let me just finish it it's a very deep thing what happened there when prince charming says that let me finish the dragon means that it's not about the princess it's about him the whole reason he was doing it because he wants the princess so as soon as the princess says let's live happily ever after so prince charming supposed to drop and go to the hereafter you know the ever after right um or if he wants to finish the dragon it means it wasn't about deserving the princess it was about showing how great he was and uh this is this was a study and sometimes where being is less being than not being where talking is worse than doing is worse than silence because the killing the dragon the talking as opposed to being the silent which is stopping and just going to the princess is it shows that you're missing your eyes on the ball you don't know what the real goal is okay let me tell you the nimshot you'll tell me if it's the right muscle it's a useful muscle for other things maybe not for here we'll see i think it works is that this is so deep do you know why people talk in the show why do people talk in seoul you know nobody says anything important so this special kind of school talk it's just not straight since it's not even the deep parts of the nose it's the shallow parts of the nose it's the cheap little stocks that are whatever it's all the stuff that is you know are you talking show not because we want to communicate we want to do anything we're talking we don't want to have to face hashem i need to be busy with something else because the jaw that hand is too daunting there's nothing like the silent the silencing sure is the shoeless the plowing of all plowings goes out into the field this is fila it's fearless plowing feel is talking to hashem and facing all your truths and everything just yeah you have to be talking to hashem but that's the point of trilla is is the plila judging yourself is the poliwhite fila is you're judging you're analyzing you're thinking it's heavy it's daunting your your soil is being stirred up and opened up and it's so much easier to just run away and to not to not go there and uh you know but you have to have you have to go through that because otherwise your seeds won't grow if you can sit there and experience and in that silence allow all your layers to be peeled open and to note to hear what has to be heard within you and to think about what needs to be thought about and to judge what needs to be judged then it'll be painful it'll be tumultuous i'm sure the soil does not enjoy being plowed flowers are heavy and sharp and they very disruptive but when that seed goes in starts to lay roots and starts to break the surface and then when the seed with the fruit grows nothing like it so that's that's true and therefore kind of talking and show it's not connecting to my friend i'm not being it's the opposite of being i'm running away from where i was supposed to be and just trying to duck this experience and uh this is exactly what the head of the eagle was and why it was ahead so the inability for the jewels to deal with the mun and the inability of the jews to receive the torah on husseini and to experience everything in this passive way was because they needed to be busy they wanted to do stuff no they didn't anyone real knows that the more my soil gets dug up the more i'll do later the better the roots will spread out the more embedded the seed will be the more the minerals and nutrients will become more accessible and attainable and the inability for people to go through that silence it sounds like a very holy argument that i i want to do something i don't want to be passive i want to do something well the first thing you got to do is do nothing there'll be plenty of time to plow when you cross the land but there won't be anything worth plowing for if you don't build up the feelings and the depth that comes from the karishma the buddhism is exactly what's necessary in the end you'll have plenty what to say but don't say anything now because now you have to be plowed in silence you get plowed you experience what it is what is the experience and you stand by her sinai and you learn to listen and let the words sink in and the words are painful and the words are are you know they're they're critical they're they're they make you think things about yourself or create expectations and hopes and thoughts that are maybe pressurizing or daunting and but you have to go there the the jews wanting to run away not wanting harsheena being afraid of the men is because it's not because they're afraid of completion not because not because they don't like they don't want to do nothing it's exactly an upside down world it's a it's it's not much like the maserati looks like it's you know it's it's being known the ego is the glorification of the eagle's not doing the grown cow the yolk on its back is doing the egg is disruptive it's just yes it's something innocent about the expansive wildness of you but the glorification of you is is just the avoidance of silence and depth and hearing and and [Music] that's our stage and then and then when you go through that eventually you become a grown up in the plow and you you get a yolk and you come nox and you can you can accomplish unbelievable things the eagle grows up eventually the clyosaurs glow and every people talking them the equivalent of the egg and saying oh there you go we don't want to do nothing we want to be busy going to show yeah friends we're talking terra we're talking about business i see these guys once a week i gotta talk to them it's as big a lie as the as the ego is about productivity let's talk in the shows about being in friendship and knowledge the ego and and talking are the opposite of uh are the avoidance of of the silent stage you don't want to hear anything you don't want your soil to be messed around and shook it up and but that's that's this is why the eagle is the biggest cut and this is why talking in shows the biggest friend the ego is running away from true greatness the life is going to be life you're going to be wearing a yoke and plowing the rest of you like you saw her hammer right but the only way you can productively carry the yolk is to first go become plowed first get the depth of the mission feeling be fired up and let your imagination be charged and your your longings be stirred and you got to be fired up this is and you watch what goes on [Music] this job [Music] it's the worst of the pestilence and uh and it's a total loss of who you are taking all your material your valuable material melting it into nothingness and then you're reshaping it not to anything you are into a mold of something else it is a life i call it houdini a live escape artist a person who can escape from every everything rigid that's going to make something out of you so listen okay i went around a lot of circles so a lot of stuff um the point is is that uh 40 looks like completion the answer is is that and people don't want to be complete you don't have to know there's no such thing as being complete after 40 comes 50 and the whole new level of greatness don't never go back to 39. 30 this is 40 is still um 39 is active and 50 is active 39 is the activity before the stillness 50 is the activity after the stillness clio didn't want the 40. why not because they want to be active so why are you going back to 39 why are you going forward to 50 the answer is is that some people just want to stay in being busy because they don't want to have to go for the silence it's not that i don't want to be it's not that i want to be creative they said i can't deal with the plowing of silence the depth and the turmoil of the silence i need to be busy the tsatik goes beyond the 39 and gets he leaves his inside and then realizes that now i gotta sit and be quiet and absorbable doesn't become the deepest of the deep and then i can take all that and i can build like nobody ever built before that's yeshua but none taking the jews into here to serve all right guess what's the trick you need for this what does the soil need if you have to talk to the soil this is a crazy way to say it but if you have to talk to the soil before the guys were coming in to plow you love your soil you're a farmer you talk to your land when you tell your soil when the guy is coming in the sort of looks and it sees these big animals with these big metal blades you know you tell the soil you tell the soilless listen this is what cleveland shalom says first thing you go to sailors trust me i'm your farmer you know what i paid for you you know how long i dreamt about you you know what the farmer tells the soil is that i bought this land i wanted this time i made this land you my land trust me it's only going to be good the coming with the blades just you don't know what it's going to be like in 10 years you know there will be kids swinging on tires from your branches and eating the fruit basking in the shade you don't know what you can accomplish and who you're going to feed what kind of country and landscape you're going to be part of just the beginning have to be willing to to be stirred up so leave you with that image but in shul we're asking you to be silent because they want you to get plowed you want to turn your soil up turn it over and over and over again loosen up and you won't see the benefits of it when the trees start drawing it's your choice like the title of the shade the risk of the reward is yours you wanna you wanna avoid turning the soil over and just distract yourself and talk to your friends it'll be picked you will be painless and um your grandchildren won't have any branches to swing their tires on so there's no sound like a kid swinging on a tree in the tire you want to hear that sound all right call you