Rabbi Elan Segelman Chazaq Shiva Asar B'Tammuz program 5778

like to thank Kazak for putting together such an unbelievable program like to thank the a gooda for hosting their anytime for taping and for making this available to so many so many Jews so many people all around the world - pleasure to be here she vows our botamo x' marks the opening the beginning of the three weeks which we know is a terrible time for Claudius all the tragedies that befell Claudius Tyrell at this time is unimaginable if you look in the Mishnah in tynus the Mishnah tells us i'm Chivas RB thomas cadabra lucas the locos were broken bottle Hitomi the carbon tomatillo based on Victor wasn't brought anymore who've got ear the walls of you shall I am were breached the Seraph a Postma cetera the holy tourist girl was burned the Hammad sell and buy a home and it's LM an idol was brought smack into the middle of the cottage of Kadosh iam to the middle of the hate hall unimaginable and when you think about these tragedies you think about the horror that befell Chloe's stroll and then you fast forward to today you look at on the street I don't think that people are grumpy because of the Corbin I think they're grumpy because it's hot and they haven't eaten all day but are we in a terrible mood because of the carbon if it wasn't the Sunday I think people would be at work today camps are open on Srivastava Thomas it doesn't seem like we observe commemorate and mourn the availeth of you shall I in the Harbin of you shall ayam which is in line with the Mishnah she tells us all of the crazy crazy tragic tragic things that happened and it's especially noteworthy because of the mime appraisal I'm sure we're all familiar with colum Isabella yerushalayim size of Erebus in Xhosa that a person who is able to mourn yerushalayim appropriately will be zalta to celebrate in the rebuilding of yerushalayim and if a person is unable to mourn properly Gautier no miss a Bilal AHA ain't no joke of a Robinson cosa we won't be able to observe and to partake in the beauty of the rebuilding of the base hamikdash Ashley she so it doesn't it behoove us to take this seriously to be miserable all the yerushalayim now I think it's obvious why it's difficult for us to be miserable on you shall I'm I think that it's very understandable because Tamar on a base hammock gosh we don't even understand what the basin mikdash was we never saw Kohanim love 'i'm pavatt awesome Bashir I'm of a simmer when we don't know what it means so how are we expected to be miserable or shall I am when it might not even mean anything to us and that's understandable but the question is what can we do to change that we're obviously expected to be miserable alone we're expected to be miserable all you wish a lion so what has to change what are we supposed to do to be able to tap into the availa civilian so that will probably be able to be miserable and then the editors a sham Bemis be able to celebrate in the rebuilding of based on Mukesh so I'd like to share a void that I saw and safer Darsh moisture from how much the finds things that Sal actually I shared with the show yesterday a beautiful observation from Rob Mancha in the beginning of Paris Ballack Ballack refers to Claudius role as an armed yacht Samim it's Ryan we're a nation that left mitzrayim understandable makes sense fast-forward a few second later and bilham what bilham is having a conversation with our Kurdish Barroso and Balaam refers to omnia strong so how does P lime refer to us not as an armed hi-yah two minutes Ryan not just the nation that left me time but an arm hyoid symmetry on a nation that is leaving mitzrayim in the presence not I'm Hyatt saw but in I'm hyoid say right now we're leaving from its rhyme and remeasure finding points out that Bach Pollock had a very simple understanding of Claudius wrong we were in metrium we left metrium we're no longer in mitzrayim we're late we're a nation that left miss Ryan it's very simple but bilham had a much deeper understanding of Collier all Balaam understood that Claudius are all that I'm you saw that the Jewish people we don't just ignore history it's not just something of the past Claudius throw is the nation that takes history with us and we relive it the struggles of mitzrayim the fight that we fought in me trying to protect ourselves from the Thomas mitzrayim from the schmutz of mitzrayim that wasn't just a Mihama a war that took place years ago we're in I'm Hoyt amoeba tribe today we're leaving with Ryan we are a people that are struggling with those same struggles we're fighting those same obstacles and those same challenges we're facing those today and ramesha says that the success of quality sorrow comes from the fact that we take those struggles with us we don't ignore them we have a mitzvah every day to remember that we were Garamond Mitzrayim that we left mitzrayim that we had a special relationship with a cottage Borough Hall where a college boy who performed nice him upon miss him upon miss him where he openly demonstrated his intense alpha the intense love that occurs both glass for the Jewish people all of that that happened years ago is relevant today the struggles are relevant today the love that we have with a Kurdish bar was relevant to us today that's where of Mauritius says for this beautiful observation that were not an I'm high yacht Cimmerian but I'm high yo same it's right in the present tense and when you think about this lesson I don't think it is purely relevant for UTS Mitzrayim but I think it's very relevant for our relationship with the base hamikdash in Yerushalayim as we dive in in the more self of yontiff when a hot or a new girl anomie arts a new Venus rock economy a lot my saying that we dive into the bunny Shalom we wish we could be in Arusha line but we can't open a kata a toe because unfortunately our sins we've been expelled from art saying we've been expelled from you shall I'm Venus Rococo may Allah's mercy know there's a long distance between our sandy Rochelle I'm vain inoculum Lalo is Leroy is restock avoid Stefan after we can't go we can't go to you Shalom that affects us right now that's not something that was thousands of years ago urban Tobias is not just a sewer and shots of mission is and gomorrah's it's relevant today you in a how to a new godly no merits a new and I was when I was preparing my thoughts when I was preparing this idea that the that the Corbin Tobias is something which is very relevant to us today up there on the current events reminded me of a beautiful art about the available severe shall I am when you think of the availa sub yerushalayim it's very different than the availa that we may be used to typical of a loss we shouldn't know of it but typical of a loss begins with a potato with a loss of a loved one and what happens right away right when the of a loss right when the individual passes we experience the most extreme and intense feelings of of a loss we don't even call out of able to this one called on eNOS we're a no-name it's a very awkward uncomfortable position can't do mitzvahs can't Davin you don't make Brazos up until the person has been buried a very uncomfortable and awkward experience and then from an eNOS you move on to a valency omurice on the first day of availeth which we know typically is the most painful which where the cut is very fresh according to summary showing him a valence your mission is is what's there right so that's all it's expected loss to be the riser and then Shiva continues but then as the Shiva continues the ave loss relaxes a little bit after Shiva the avail and get up and the strict laws of availa are lifted and they enter this time period called slow Shinto 30 days which has its hollow codes which are relevant to Sh lotion but it's not as extreme as a nurse or a service as a valus was and then ash lotion finishes that's lifted and they're not done yet they still have you baste holders for a parent they has to have the year and there's certainly many our locals they can't go to a wedding and whatnot but after the year is done eventually after we've lifted enough of the halacha lifted and lifted and lifted finally after that first year all we have left is a yard site maybe is Kuranda on the oven to him we mentioned our loved ones in his car but for the most part there's a Yamaha Dada is the yard site and that's it and if you think about it why isn't that observed when it comes to the carbon abayas why don't we have a yard site to Shabab should be the yard site of the destruction of the base I'm a corrosion that's it instead not only do we not just have a tissue buff which is the only yard site we have a whole mourning period which seems to be completely flipped first we have the three weeks and we all know that the three weeks the Halak those are the three weeks are the most relaxed right and then you get a little bit more extreme a little bit more intense you get to the nine days and then within the nine days you have Chicago you have the week that Titian buff falls down and then you have tissue buff it's the complete opposite of what the avails were normally used to again the veils were normally used to starts to extreme and gets less extreme as time goes by are availa severe shall I am starts very simple but it gets very intense why is that why is the a valence of viewers shall I am so different than the availeth that were used to when someone loses a loved one if you think about it where is the only time in the Taira that we have availa which was ongoing Avalos which got more extreme and extreme as days went on you know where you find this you find this by Yaakov Aveeno when the brother has approached the alcove Aveeno and they asked well they told him that his son Joseph had been killed the Torah tells us the Yaak of Aveeno started to sit Shiva he kept his Avalos but then the Terry tell us Vemma and lanes now came he wasn't willing to be consoled he wasn't willing to be comforted Yaakov Avenue as long as he was sitting Shiva or observing his availeth was the same or even the extreme of a loss that he experienced the degree of the Ovilus got intense and more intense as they went on why is that you know what the answer is my voice I because when we're miserable when we observe mourn when we observe mourning are available on someone who has died the person has died and there's nothing else that we can do other than to sit Shiva and to observe the schleich men to get base coalition to continue with our lives we must go on life must continue but yakoo Vivino sensed he knew that Yosef was alive Yosef wasn't dead when your Menaka a Marvel to someone who's sitting Shiva for someone who had died so yes there's nakulan yes the person sitting Shiva can be Consol's can be comforted but Yaakov couldn't be comforted because he didn't lose Yosef Yosef was alive he was sadly waiting to be reunited with his son and that tortured him that was the extreme of a loss and we think of the a valence of yerushalayim it gets more extreme as time goes on more extreme from the three weeks to the nine days to Chicago to tisha Bob because it's a valence over something which is still here it's true we don't have the Binion high bias we don't have the physical structure we don't have the Calum of the base oh my gosh we don't have the core Bono's we don't have the the culture we don't have smoking we don't of Monaco's that we don't have but we have to remember the our valence is very different - Rena - Rena that rested in the best hammock - that we have Casa de Shon lishchyna didn't leave us the same Sheena that was in base hammock - is the Sheena that it's in this room today it's in everyone's homes it's the same Sheena so yes there is a morning yes we are miserable Alyosha Lyon but it's a fundamentally different type of availeth Sanaa valence where we're forced to recognize that the Sheena hasn't left us the Sheena is in dire cause fish on the Sheena is here it's very relevant for us to very relevant so as we opened we observed that there are many people out there myself included it's hard for us to relate to the hormonal bias it's hard for us to carry out the avails of you shall I am because we can't relate to it and I think the only way to change that is to remember this words from Ramona Feinstein to remember that colleague is throw a mural we are a nation hyoid cinnamon I'm not an AMA yatza but whatever happens in Jewish history is not simply part of our past but it's very much a part of our present and the Corbin high bias affects us in a real practical way today and what I would like to share with you just a few ideas that I have in my mind and obviously when a person thinks and interest facts about their own avodah and their own relationship with the base hammock gosh it has to be personal that has to be something that speaks to you I'm happy to share my ideas but I would love for everyone to think on a personal level how you can take these messages make it personal make it something which touches you to think about the lessons the practical lessons that we should learn on chivas our bahamas let us once again revisit that mission and tynus that told us the terrible tragedies that occurred on Shiva's Arbor Thomas and let's dissect them one by one so again the Mishnah tells us that as she vows Arbor tamos miss Dubois Luke Weiss the Luke laws were broken Seifert or was burned my boy sigh the tire was broken the tire was burned how many times have we been faced with a certain fork in the road on the one hand we know that our personal preferences may be pushing us one way on the other hand we know very well that the turbo wants something from us and we stand at that fork in the road and we opt for our personal preference did we of keep the Tyrol did we maintain the Taira do we preserve and enhance the Tyra or did we catch the Shah and break the turret we burn the tire do we leave the Turan forsake the Tyra how many times have we been exposed to a certain intriguing business opportunity the only issue is it just doesn't sound so kosher and we go back and forth we toss and turns in our beds and in the morning we go through with it we do it and we close the book and we ignore it we walk by that's it let's forget about it but wait a minute what just happened did we up keep maintained preserve enhance the title or do we break it how many times have we been tempted to eat something or to eat somewhere where we know that the cache were standards are not necessarily something that we're comfortable with and for whatever reason we do it anyway are we keeping the title or we breaking the Tyrell I'm sure if all sarbat time was robbed by psy the tire was broken Nishida brought look like minister for Tyra the locals are broken the terrorist burns that's a struggle that we have not just that's all I wasn't just the struggle of Shiva sorry Thomas that's a struggle we have today every single day were faced with this struggle what we're gonna do the options the choices that we make are weaving Makai in the Taira or with hospice Xiang burning and breaking the Tyrrell let's continue with the Mishnah the Talmud shall shock are the Thomas shall been hired by him who ceased to ceased to be brought they stopped during the carbon Tommen now the carbon Tommy don't let anyone tell you otherwise the carbon Tom it was something very important I'll share with you something I've many times remember sacks receivin landers the hawk Adama - the echo of the introduction tan Yakov quotes a mock locus at annoyin a dispute amongst the tano him what was the dispute the dispute was what is the most fundamental important principle in the Tyrell what is the most fundamental cloud girdle Bottari if our task called you in the room what would you say probably some would say like Ben Zoma you know when Ben Zoma said shema yisrael hashem elokenu hashem echad that's the most important puzzle that's the most important theme that's the most important principle in the Tarot others perhaps may have said like bananas via half dog larae Akaka Michael Zack gobbled material I bet some of you would have said that but I'm going out on a limb here you know one would probably no one would have said what shimon van posi said you know what shimon ben qazi answer to this question what's the most fundamental what's the most harsh of the most important mitzvot cloud gödel Bottari as hoc Eva's ha ha ha say Bobbo care basic Ewa Sasha nataschab in our binary the carbon Tommen is the most fundamental principle that we have in our entire Tyrel because our vote does Hashem cannot be a 1 in dona relationship we don't have a 1 in don relationship with our koteshwara so we don't have a convenient friendly relationship with our colors Marco if the tiger works for me yeah yeah if the turret doesn't work for me all right maybe tomorrow it'll work that's not how you this kite works and it's not how our relationship when I could have our collateral works there has to be continuity there has to be regularity as hoc Eva's Hakata stableboy care versace versace natasha been hired by him every single day day in and day out of carbon Tommen was brought in the morning and the carbon tommy was brought in the afternoon no exceptions and when it comes to our avoid assumption when it comes to our relationship with our Kurdish bar who we must have it the same way continuity a regularity of avoidance of shame it's so dangerous to break our routine to deviate from our regular schedules once we get out of it it's so hard to come back and the impression that we leave on our families on our spouses on our children on our communities is so profound when we're able to practice and carry out our avoidance of Shemin this way in regularity I remember I had a regularity throw who was a tremendous time of calm a tremendous Torah scholar and his children were unbelievable Torah scholars themselves and I remember him once saying that you know why his children are so successful in their learning you know why they're such tell me they hum him because he said he wasn't boasting he wasn't being about Gaia he was giving us a lesson is Lena anytime my child's woke up in the middle of the night 12 o'clock 1 o'clock 2 o'clock 3 o'clock it didn't make a difference when the child woke up in the morning but when he woke up because he was thirsty because he was cold because he had a dream he always knew all of his children knew he said they all know exactly know they all know exactly where to find ABBA he was always learning sometimes he would be falling asleep dozing off but in the middle of the night it didn't matter what time of the night he wanted to know where to find Tati right there in the study he was always there he never deviated from his schedule probably all Shiv would leave events in the middle why they where are you going buddy all she said I have a schedule I need to keep - I have to go to sleep now so I can wake up at a certain time we don't deviate from our schedules because if you do then you're in danger see I'm I saw her burn down the labor she's Shiva from the marry Shiva in Brooklyn that he would never leave Seder never he came a time outlet of is I think grandchild got married well-known story maybe you could correct me if on the details if I get any of them wrong but they give him an invitation and they wanted to be Messiah and they wanted to officiate at the wedding and he opens the wedding the invitation that he sees yeah we have the same well we have the same response and I see it lakewood you're getting married in lakewood why are you getting married in lakewood you're from Brooklyn make the wedding in Brooklyn so they said well they they it's much cheaper to make a wedding in Lakewood than it is to make it in Brooklyn so you said but huh but then I'm gonna have to travel to to Lakewood it's gonna take me time I will not leave Seder early I'm not gonna be able to be miss out of position I'll come maybe for the second dance maybe I'll get them for benching or dessert or something and his grand Charles wedding they said the same but they they you know it's it's it's you're a nickel it's your grandson it's your granddaughter yeah you have to go they want you to be miss out.i cuz there's no wine to officiate you have to go and this is why you're making the wedding in Lakewood because it's cheaper tell me exactly how much the difference is he took out his checkbook and he wrote a $20,000 check Schmo burn BAM so that they'll make the hosta in Brooklyn so he'll be able to stay in his Seder to have his schedule complete and only then go to the wedding and this is all the tummy them they know that if they wanted a Bhishma burn map to be a Masada conditioner to come to the wedding they had to make it after Seder in Brooklyn so he could come not to miss his say there one iota the success that we have in life is when we keep to our schedules we make schedules that we could keep and we keep to them and I know that this is a struggle my life is busy life is hectic you don't have to tell me I know but that doesn't mean that we can't be dedicated Jews dedicated to our schedules make sure we're diverting every day without exception learning every day without exception giving sadaqa every day without exception I said no exceptions essica visa el cata said by Boyka versace versace Natasa been hired by him the carbon Thamud is something which was destroyed it was taken away from us then it was a tragedy then it's a tragedy now it's a struggle now we have to make sure that we keep to our schedules and make sure that we can properly take care of our time if you look further in the Mishnah the Mishnah tells us that the walls of yerushalayim were destroyed we're breached we all have walls you shall I'm had walls to keep out the enemy we too have walls to keep out the gates are hard to keep out our enemies and robbed boys I never trust in your walls as we see from the Mishnah the walls of you shall I'm were breached the enemy that used to be knocking at the doors banging now in today's day and age these are as banging it's not just knocking and the power the crown of something it's our hard to knock down those walls is terrifying it's frightening every single one of us we have our own interests I may have a heart for this you may have a heart for that we all need to be cognizant and aware of recognize the eight sir heart has recognized the difficulties recognize the struggles make sure the walls that we put up are strong are walls that can protect us from the eight Sahara I'll share with you one unbelievable story I was once giving a shear then I was talking about Yonex filling and I mentioned that you shouldn't put on Trillin at night so one of the tell me them he raises his hand and he says well how bad is it to put on tefillin at night I said how bad is it back to my liquor shiny machines around bummer whatever we weren't getting into it how low that is you don't put too full on tonight and I just saw on his face he was just so perturbed he comes up to me after this year and he wanted to know more about this put on tefillin the night tell me put on tefillin tonight I said why do you care about putting on tefillin tonight what what's the deal what's his thought over here and he tells me the most unbelievable myself maybe I've ever heard in my life he told me that he struggles with him in his computer they don't get along he struggles with certain images on the computer and he knew was an issue so he set up together he set up a wall for himself he said I'm not gonna be in the house alone with my computer and he was strong he was able to keep his good arm one day circumstance has it whatever was the situation was that he was home along with his computer and the answer has I said before doesn't just knock it bangs and it was banging him who was knocking him to the point where he didn't know what to do he had such a timer to open his computer he said the only thing he could think of as he ran he opened up his house until and he put it on to protect him from classroom violating such a terrible transgression everyone has to know that you darling that they have and know that the walls can be breached that was a struggle that we happened we saw Javon sabaton was hook we're the walls of a shell and we reached we need a backup plan a plan B every hospital has a generator what happens if the electricity goes out we need a plan B we also need a plan B our walls sometimes with this strong AIT's a heart can be fragile we need to make sure we have a plan B because you know what happens when you don't have a plan B you know what happens if the walls are breached class McCallum what is the end of the mission to say but Selim was introduced to the hey halt put it right into the middle of the hey halt right in the mahkum of the cottage Kadosh iam the most holy place that we could think of the regime they took a cell and they took an idol IV of Osama and they placed it right in the middle of the hey hall if we aren't able to keep our enemies out if we aren't able to put up those Guderian and keep to those Guderian make sure those strengths those fences are strong or bulletproof if they're broken if they're breached Niklas Selim logical it's selling the tomah our enemy our eat Sahara is gonna set up shop right right in the hay hole right in the Marco Marco - accord awesome in our homes in our shores in our schools in our offices every single place that we try to introduce kedusha there's going to be a tellement there's going to be a Toma there's gonna be eight Sahara these are the struggles that cloudiest are all faced on she of all sarbat amaz these are the messages that the Mishnah is they're telling us and remember what Ramona said who are we as I'm you sir all were an I'm Holly - Mimi - I am NOT in I'm hi yatza Jewish history is not just in the past korban Tobias isn't something which happened thousands of years ago it's something relevant today you mean a hat or a no goalie no may arts a new today - AE a nun actually a whole lot void Lucia taco boy stuff Annika we can't come to Mesa make this today that's relevant today we have to look at our own struggles today and she vows Arbor Thomas look at the Mishnah look at what happened to you Michelle I'm realized that what happened in Jewish history is very much relevant today and a personal level speak to ourselves should speak to ourselves our friends our parents our families think about what can we do to preserve the kaduche in our homes preserve relationships with parents spouse children friends family it's so important to preserve the conducive collies role and when we realize that these are real life struggles today that's what we should be focusing on today during the three weeks during this monomer valus des recession will taco bazooka to be missed a bell properly to be miss a bell you shall I am and have those Broncos of Cola miss a bell a you shall I am soil cavalry abyssum kosta beciraj am we should see the rebuilding of the valley Shivam here to be on Manor on me