Why we're STILL in EXILE | Parsha Perspectives | Vayechi 5786

Okay, good morning. Boca welcome back to partial perspectives for today. We have the privilege of learning and reading partial hey. You're following inside in the article stone page 268 is always we begin with our attitude of gratitude and thank our dear friends back in the cats and family who sponsor our learning in memory of David Grossman. Should be a niche David Manashe sure is dedicated anonymously Schliemann of and Miro should hear please God good news of a complete and speedy Schliemann by Esther and Elliot Saki commemoration the first year of his mother Leia bus she may have have an Aliyah and please God for Schliemann of Iran been solid undergoing a procedure we should hear good news please God should bounce back speedily with a complete Schliemann partial the curtains coming down on safer abrasions. This is the end of our formation as a family and it's been a rocky road. It's been much of a roller coaster a story of alienation a story of tension a story of sibling rivalry safer abrasions has been replete with challenges of coming together as a family and therefore significantly partial the curtain comes down and hopefully it seems in some ways we have corrected we have repaired a lot of that damage although perhaps not entirely and not completely as we'll talk about and we'll see we continue in other ways to suffer from until today it's not lost on us that notice I didn't say help yourself to coffee or slushy or pastry from the corner because today is a today is a fast day and why are we fasting? We're fasting of course and we have there's so many reasons associated with this date on the calendar but they revolve around the destruction of the beginning of that siege what began that process that culminated and ended in that destruction and why did it happen? Why is it not yet been rebuilt? Because we're still suffering from the original cause of the story we're reading. The animosity the enmity the brotherly hate the marginalizing the condemnation the the baseless hate that began it all while the curtain comes down and we've corrected and repaired to some extent we continue to suffer from it. And that's why we read the story of the game Marcus both on Yom Kippur in the form of on Tisha B'Av in the form of us but we recount the story of the 10 martyrs they did not live contemporaneous to one another 10 great rabbis who were tortured and killed and the great getting tell us that in heaven what happened is that our Roman enemies called for a tribunal a court and they said the brothers they never were accountable they never were punished for the sin of selling Joseph and therefore a trial was held the brothers were found guilty of course they were no longer alive and therefore the 10 great rabbis of the generation representing the brothers were put to death and notice nowhere do say one second that's an inaccurate and unfair conclusion to the trial why should the brothers be found guilty when in fact when in fact there's a reconciliation Joseph forgives all's well and good the curtain comes down and come by everybody's in love so why are we saying the story of the why were those 10 martyrs killed all together? So addresses this question he says if you look in our partial if you see the way the story ends while on the outside there's forgiveness while superficially there's reconciliation internally clearly there's still hurt and there's still pain. The brothers after their father spoiler alert and partial of dies after Jacob passes away the brothers suspicious of Joseph come to him and say why what are they worried about Joseph was on his best behavior while their father was alive but they're worried now that Jacob now that is gone now Joseph's been waiting biting his time now is when he's going to get even so they come and they say by the way Joseph said to tell you that even after he's gone you shouldn't do anything to us and this is devastating to Joseph and why is it devastating to Joseph? Joseph knows it's not true and how does Joseph know it's not true? Because heroically Joseph never told his father what happened. Joseph was never alone with his father in all those years they were reunited and why did Joseph avoid being alone with his father? So his father would never say to him by the way where were you? What happened? How'd you disappear? 22 years why didn't you send a message? In order to avoid having to try to answer that question or not he wasn't alone with his father Joseph went to superhuman effort to protect his brothers and they lie to him when they say dad said to tell you don't do anything to us and Joseph cries and Joseph cries hysterically because he realizes that on the outside he's in on the outside he's now one of them but on the inside there's something that's still missing and says that's why that trial happens and that's why we are fasting today a sort of Davis that's why we're still fasting all these years later because we're still suffering from that malady from that cause called Schliemann that's why we'll begin say for next week we'll sit down at the seder soon enough and we'll dip that car pass and we'll remember why are we dipping car pass? Why are we dipping the parsley? Or why are we dipping the celery? Or if you're from Elizabeth New Jersey where I just had the privilege to speak in memory of Titus 30th year site you're dipping banana whatever you're dipping in the salt water why are you dipping it? I've been Manashe is coming to the says the word car pass comes from honest passing we're dipping the coat in the salt water because before we can celebrate leaving I am we have to remember how we got before we get to the part of the seder where we celebrate we're free we've been redeemed we've been liberated before we celebrate Allah we have to remember why we were in us why were we in we dip the car pass the car pass in that multi-colored coat in the salt water as if dipping it in the blood in order to remember how we got there to begin with and in many ways we're still there we're living in and we're seeing the pain we're seeing anti-semitism I flew up on Sunday to give that talk and I was at the gate about to board with my father both of us probably wearing our because and a man walked up this is wild no and not visibly Jewish at all and he leaned in and he whispered said I'm also Jewish said okay it's nice to meet you he said I see you know you wear the keep on public how's it been? Are you are you being attacked with the anti-semitism? And we had a whole discussion about it whoever thought in an airport in South Florida Jews would have to whisper I'm Jewish what's it been like? Are you suffering? We are deep in the darkness still of this us certainly outside of Israel even in Israel where there's the beginning of Allah and the return to our homeland but when seven countries are waging war on you simultaneously and Israel is still seeking permission to be able to respond to ballistic missiles and a nuclear threat we're in us all over the globe including Israel and this reminder why are we here? How did we get here? Just like we got there to begin with because of Schliemann that's a sort of Davis and that is our partial sort of my sacks and I'm reading to you not at the introduction to so if you're looking at the sacks mush I want to throw you off a little bit but on page 350 when he's talking about how Jacob assembles his family around them to give a Allah but by sacks writes so beautifully Jacob blesses his 12 sons his blessings to the oldest three sons read more like curses than blessings there's discernible tension here yet the fact that he's blessing all 12 together in the same room at the same time we have not seen this before there's no record of blessing either or Isaac so first of all said in passing something we've spoken about in the past which is these supposed blessings read more like curses Jacob is rebuking his children you're too impetuous you have no patience you get angry too easily he's giving feedback and criticism constructive but to his children and the Torah calls that a a blessing what kind of blessing is that? He's so to say telling off his children that's a blessing? That's a blessing the answer is yes when you care enough to correct unlike the parenting in our time the helicopter parenting and the bulldozer parenting and the trophy participation trophy parenting where every child is perfect every child is excellent every child is amazing I shouldn't say this publicly because I see my mother walked in but we were talking this with my children I was remembering what it was like when report cards came and now I rushed to the mail to preempt getting rid of them before my parents got them because you may find it hard to believe I was not a good student at all I was not a good student at all and we're talking about what it was like parent-teacher conference night I remember that even though I stayed up late every night and had the fight about my bedtime I was never ever my entire childhood awake once when my parents came home from parent-teacher conferences somehow that night I found a way to be fast in a deep sleep before they got home because those were the days when parents came home from parent-teacher conferences and they perhaps not my brother or sister but me perhaps approach the child to say we've got to talk today who's the one who'd sit there to talk about parent-teacher conference? Not the children the teachers who's the one who wants to avoid the feedback and the rebuke and the criticism and the wrath of parents? Not the children, but the teachers. So, what's the evidence? How do we demonstrate we love our children? Not when we tell them they're perfect, they're amazing, they can't do any wrong. How could it be that my child is not exceeding expectations? How could it be that my child is not a superstar getting straight A's? How could it be my child didn't win the award and the trophy? But when a parent says, "You're amazing and I love you and Hashem loves you and you have so much worth worthwhile in you. I don't want to build up your self-worth and your self-esteem and the way to do that is to tell you what you need to work on." That's what Yaakov teaches us in our parashah. Cuz a blessing, the berakhah, it is a berakhah to have parents who can tell you with love and affection "I admire, I love, I appreciate, but here's what you need to work on. I share it with love as a parent who loves you unconditionally and wants what's best for you." That's a berakhah. To tell your child they're perfect, they have nothing to work on, everything's the teacher's fault, that's a parent who's a kelalah. That parent is a curse to the well-being and future of the child and that's a critically important lesson from our parashah. I just paid a shivah call. A member of our community lost a brother last week. He just got up from shivah. And he was one of 15 children. His mother from Iraq was one of 18 children. And I of course paid a shivah call, wanted to hear about the brother, but I said, "Really, tell me about your mother." She raised 15 children? How? And they're all incredibly close and loving and the older take care of the younger. How? And he shared with me the most remarkable. She grew up in Iraq at a time women maybe weren't even incredibly educated or literate. She didn't read books or write books on parenting, but she intuited and she knew a Jewish mama, she knew how to raise her 15 children and he described cuz she knew and she loved everyone and respected and treated as they needed and she would describe "This brother, this sibling can't stand fish, so when he came home, she didn't make fish. She didn't like the smell of it. This one loved liver, always had liver waiting. This one she'd say to the siblings, 'He's in the army, he needs a little extra attention right now and therefore don't be upset if I'm focusing on him.'" She communicated the differences and knew what every child needed. I could have talked told me that the most rowdy of the siblings, who was a smoker, one day they look outside and mom is in the backyard having a cigarette with this sibling. He said, "Mom, you don't smoke." She said, "Yeah, he needed to feel connected, to feel vulnerable. I wanted him to feel comfortable. So, I had a cigarette. I'm not endorsing, I'm not encouraging. It was a different time." But I could have talked, that's Yaakov Avinu. Because that that man also told me that his mother told him, "You, you need to work on your anger. You, you need to improve on your patience. You," she showered with love and affection, which gave her license to also say, "Here's what you need to work on." That's Yaakov Avinu. That's our parashah. But Rabbi Sacks continues, "There's no record of Avram blessing either Yishmael or Yitzchak. Yitzchak blesses Esav and Yaakov separately. The mere fact that Yaakov is able to gather his sons together unprecedented and important. In the next parashah, the first of Shemot, the Jewish people are for the first time described as a people. It is hard to see how they could live together as a people if they could not first live together as a family. The Torah is giving us an unexpected message here. The family is prior to all else, to the land, the nation, politics, economics, the pursuit of power and the accumulation of wealth. Let me say that again. We have Sefer Bereishit before Sefer Shemot because before we could become a nation and a people, the family comes first. The family is prior to all else, to the land, to the nation, politics, economics, pursuit of power and the accumulation of a wealth. And I'll add, it's when we forget we're a family, when we stop functioning and loving and caring as a family, then we lose all else, the land, the nation, the politics, the economics, the power, the wealth. From an external point of view, the impressive story is that Yosef reaches the heights of power in Egypt. The Egyptians themselves mourn the death of his father Yaakov and accompany the family on their way to bury him. So, the Canaanites see the entourage and say, "Egypt is in deep mourning." But that is externality. When we turn the page and begin the book of Shemot, we discover the position of the Jewish people in Egypt is very vulnerable indeed and all the power Yosef had centralized in the hands of Pharaoh will eventually be used against them. Bereishit is not about power. It's about family because that's where life together begins. This book then ends on these three important resolutions. First, that grandparents are part of the family and their blessing is important. Second, Yaakov shows it's possible to bless all your children even if you have a fractured relationship with some of them. And third, Yosef shows it's possible to forgive your siblings even if they've done you great harm. That surprisingly is what Bereishit is about. Not about the creation of the world, which can be described in a single chapter, but about how to handle family conflict. As soon as Avram's descendants can create strong families, they can move from Bereishit to Shemot and their birth as a nation. That is the essence of what this book is about, how to function as a family, how to stop going and being a dysfunctional family. I say every year, "What is the definition of a dysfunctional family?" Any family with more than one person in it. And yet, we have to learn how to go from that into being a fully functional family and we try imperfect. As I said, the curtain comes down with Behaya, imperfect. But we get closer and only then are we ready for Rashi here writes, "Lama parashah zu stumah?" Because the way the parashah begins with Yaakov and let's start. Yaakov lived in Mitzrayim 17 years. The days of Yaakov, the years of his life were 147 years. It's time. Yaakov anticipates, he feels he's heading towards his demise. "Swear to me that you'll do emet with me and that you won't bury me in Mitzrayim. Swear to me that you're not going to bring me and lead me to the land of Egypt." So, this parashah is Yaakov is stumah. This parashah is unique. There's no space between it and the preceding parashah. Ordinarily in the text, if you look in a Torah scroll, you'll see that there's a gap, there's a space. Sometimes the line ends and the new paragraph only begins on the next line. Sometimes paragraph ends and the new paragraph begins on the same line with a space. Those are called pesuchos and stumos. There's a space. Why is there a space? Our rabbis tell us this is when Mosheh says to Hashem, "I'm processing. I'm thinking. I'm considering what you just said." There's an incredible lesson even in that. A lesson which is lost on our generation in our time. We don't give ourselves that space. We always have noise and activity. We're always engaged. We never just stop and think. We never allow ourselves the space and margin to process, to absorb, to contemplate, to think. Mosheh did, that's why those spaces are there. But parashah is unique. There is no extra space between the previous parashah and this. In contrast to the general rule, it begins a new line. Here, it is stumah. It just continues straight. Why? Says Rashi, "Because once Yaakov Avinu dies, once he leaves this world, the eyes and the hearts of the Jewish people are closed from the pressure and from the persecution of the subjugation in Egypt." Our eyes and our hearts were closed because we began to suffer. As I said to Rashi, that's how Rashi explains why this was stumah. Why is it closed? Because Yaakov Avinu's eyes, when Yaakov left this world, the Jewish people's eyes and hearts became closed. We know the two ways that the methodology of our alter ego is made. Our eyes sees and then our heart covets. Our eye sees what our neighbor has and then our heart gets jealous and envious. Our heart sees something and then our our eye sees something and then our heart desires it. Because as long as Yaakov was alive, Yaakov inspired the aspiration for kedushah. Yaakov modeled and motivated what it means to live a life purity and sanctity and holiness and meaning and purpose. So, stumah. So, that our eyes and our hearts were closed in the matter of the matter. That all of us were living, as our rabbis tell us to, with our eyes down and our heart up. Our eyes down and our heart up. What does that mean? In the matter of the matter, that our we don't see Even as we're engaging, even as we're experiencing the physical world, our our heart is up. Why? Because we're connecting heaven and earth. We're connecting the physical and the spiritual. We are able to transform and elevate that which is mere material into something, a vehicle of holiness, all in the merit of Yaakov. Cuz he taught us and he modeled it for us and he inspired it. Like the righteous do in every generation. We see the way they engage food and speech and time and everything physical. We probably have and Yakov taught and inspired even down there. Even the morally corrupt decadent Mitzrayim, even the place of moral decay that we can still protect our eye and our heart. We can still have a moral compass. We can still regulate ourselves. However, after Yakov died and we lost his example and we lost his inspiration and we lost his light, we also lost the will and the way how we would continue to behave to regulate our eyes and our heart to not be drawn in and after that which would sabotage and that which would destroy us. And that's when the shibud came. Because when we assimilated and integrated, when we walked like and talked like an Egyptian, when we acted like, when we were confused and when we became corrupt in understanding truths and axioms, moral boundaries and behaviors, that's when the shibud Mitzrayim, that's when the servitude came. The Kotsker Rebbe The Kotsker Rebbe, the Hasid of the Kotsker Rebbe would tell his followers, his students and disciples. He said he said, "I don't want you to not misbehave only because it's wrong to misbehave. I want you to not misbehave because you have no time and no will to misbehave." So now we understand this well, says Rav Shur, another question the Beit Yisrael addresses, which is why why here and why now? Why here and why now? If this all happened and kicked in after Yakov dies, why does Rashi begin the parsha with this idea and lesson, with this insight? Offer it after Yakov dies. That after Yakov dies, tell us that why does it appear here at the beginning of the parsha? And here the Beit Yisrael and others of Shur elaborates, develops the idea. You know why? Because the 17 years they had Yakov in Mitzrayim, when you have mochin degadlus, moments of inspiration, bottle it. Package it. Capture it. So that you could continue to draw from it. We spoke about this 2 weeks ago. Yosef's great insight parshas Mikeitz, when he interprets Paroh's dreams, what was true physically in the seven fat years, you have to set aside so you could continue live off of it in the thin years, is also true spiritually. In the moments of spiritual inspiration, bottle it. Capture it. So that you can draw from it even when you feel down and out. Even when you feel uninspired. Even when you feel disconnected. When you have what I'll call high-speed moments, bottle it. Capture it. So that when you're later buffering and trying to connect, you're still able to find the inspiration. And that's why it appears at the beginning of the parsha and not later into it. The Meshech Chochmah wonders, "Vayechi Yakov Eretz Mitzrayim shivah asrei shanah. Yakov lived in Mitzrayim 17 years. Madua Torah Yakov chai b'Eretz Mitzrayim? Why We know Yakov came down. That's where he was headed. That's where he was going. That's where he was. The end of last week's parsha, he's already communicating with Paroh in Mitzrayim. They set up camp in Goshen. They opened the Beit Midrash. Yakov is there with his whole family. So why do we have to be reminded where he lived out his last 17 years? We know where it is. And where is it? Mitzrayim. The Torah doesn't have extra words. Why does it tell us Vayechi Yakov, he lived those 17 years where? B'Eretz Mitzrayim. Why do I need to be told that? So and what what is the Meshech Chochmah asking? Interestingly, in the last pasuk of parshas Vayeigash, where does it tell us that Yakov lives? Go back one page. Vayeishev Yisrael b'Eretz Mitzrayim b'Eretz Goshen. So the last pasuk of last week's parsha is Yakov's living in Goshen. We begin this week's parsha with he lived out the last 17 years of his life where? In Mitzrayim. Why the shift? Why the change? Number one. Or possibly the Meshech Chochmah was bothered by maybe. The second way to understand it is we know that it could have said Vayechi Yakov b'Mitzrayim. Why the word Eretz? After all, in a moment he's going to say don't bury me in Mitzrayim. Venasa'ani miMitzrayim. Why do we have the extra word of Eretz? Says the Meshech Chochmah, There are people who live for themselves. The only influence, the only impact, the only legacy they leave is about themselves. And there are other people who they leave a legacy in their city, in their town. They're synonymous with all the good things that happened there. That person didn't just live for themselves, but their legacy is the community, the town in which they lived. The whole olam. And there are people who had a national and international, a cosmic influence. The tzaddik yesod olam. That the tzaddik is the foundation of the whole world. The greater a person is, man or woman, the more impact, the broader an impact and influence they have. So there are people they live virtuous lives for themselves, private and modest, and they live for themselves and they're virtuous and they're righteous. And the Meshech Chochmah writes even about them, gam zeh tov, that's also good. Someone who lives a meaningful, purposeful, virtuous life for themselves, also good. Also wonderful. Also a worthy legacy. But a little bit higher is the person who impacts their community, who transforms their city, their town. And then there are people who even bigger than that leave a bigger and a broader, a more powerful legacy. As I said, I just had the privilege of speaking about Rabbi Teitz on his 30th yahrtzeit. He was such a person. And in that talk I talked not only retrospectively, passed away 30 years ago, about his legacy back then, but prospectively, as a charge, what does it mean for Rabbanim, community leaders today? What can and should we emulate? What is our mission and what are our responsibility and how can we walk in his footsteps? And he was someone who wasn't satisfied just with himself or with his community, but who had a much bigger and broader impact. Yakov in says the Meshech Chochmah, lo b'iro levado haya chai, he didn't just live for his city, v'lo b'Eretz Goshen levad, rak b'chol Eretz Mitzrayim. He impacted the entire Egyptian Empire. Shepasak Mitzrayim, the famine ended in his merit. Avakaved zeh l'Mitzrayim. V'lo b'Eretz Goshen levad. It wasn't just Goshen. When he died, Vayechi Yakov b'Eretz Mitzrayim. At his levaya, the hespedim, the the eulogies at his funeral talked about that Yakov left a legacy and an impact. Princes and princesses and prime ministers and presidents and mere citizens of Mitzrayim knew that any blessing that they had came because of Yakov who lived in their midst. Vayechi Yakov b'Eretz Mitzrayim. Says the Meshech Chochmah, that's why Eretz Mitzrayim, because that was Yakov's impact. Okay. We're going to skip ahead. Want to make my way towards the second half of the parsha. Yakov is sick. He calls in his children and calls Yosef, Menashe, and Ephraim. You know we have the story, the episode. He's blessing davka through them. Perek Menashe, pasuk test zayin. Top of page 272. What's the bracha? He gives a bracha to Yosef and he says Yigdal larov b'kerev ha'aretz. May the angel who redeems me from all the evil bless the lads. May my name be declared upon them, the names of my forefathers, Avraham and Yitzchak. May they proliferate abundantly like fish within the land. We said this last year, so I won't repeat it. But on the one hand, there's a promise. I think we said this last year. If we didn't, I'm not repeating it. But Yosef, he's giving a bracha to Yosef, but we don't see the bracha to Yosef. Who is Ya- Yakov talking to? Menashe and Ephraim. So why does the pasuk express it as Yosef if the bracha is to Menashe and Ephraim? So we said last year, I believe, because what's the greatest bracha you could give a parent? That their children be blessed. It's not mutually exclusive. It's not a failure to bless Yosef. The biggest blessing to Yosef is to give a bracha to his children. And what is that blessing? Hamalach. We're familiar. I won't sing it because some of you are struggling to stay awake as it is. So I'm not going to sing Hamalach and further put you to sleep. Yigdal larov b'kerev ha'aretz. Says the Tiferes It's going to be a heavy Tiferes day. Says Rav Shmuel Berenbaum. Still making our way through. Why Yigdal larov b'kerev ha'aretz? What is the bracha? May you multiply and proliferate like fish within the land. Why fish? Says Rashi, because fish live in the water. Fish live beyond what we see with the naked eye, and because they are protected from and avoid ayin hara, that's why they successfully promulgate, proliferate, that's why they multiply in multitudes, and therefore the bracha to Menashe and Ephraim, the bracha that we give our children and grandchildren, that we ask for for ourselves, is to both be protected from ayin hara. You see from here that ayin hara is not a modern concept, it's not just a new age concept, there is a there is a indisputable concept of ayin hara. What does it mean? Not what we ordinarily think, and one thing I know that won't protect you from it is a red string around your wrist. That's just idolatry. That's dark amori. Red string around the wrist is an excellent good luck charm. You know for whom? The woman on the steps down to the cotel who sells it to to you. It's a tremendous school of for her. For you, it does nothing. It's a tosefta. The tosefta calls a red string around the wrist dark amori. It's idolatrous, it's foreign, it's not what we do, it's not what we believe, it's not how we behave. And so we don't believe in it, but we do believe there's a concept of ayin hara. It comes up in halacha, maybe we'll talk more about it another time, not for now. Barashi here says that the fish are the example of the blessing cuz they live beneath the water, therefore they're not exposed to ayin hara. Says the Shulchan Aruch Brachos, the Gemara Brachos tells us So the rabbonim say, you're you're not vulnerable to ayin hara? So he answers, I am from I descend from Yosef. And Yosef no ayin hara can touch him. Just like the fish in the sea, the water covers them, when we identify with when we act like Yosef, just like Yosef was protected from ayin hara, so too are we. Yosef whose eye did not crave or look at or pursue what did not belong to him, so so too, no one else's eye and eye can rule over us. Rashi says So it says the Shulchan Aruch Berachot Yosef did not look at what he was not supposed to look at. Yosef was filtered. Yosef was careful. If you're careful what you look at, you'll be protected from people who shouldn't be looking at you. The wife of Potiphar was consistently and ruthlessly pursuing and and propositioning Yosef endlessly. She was constantly changing her wardrobe to be provocative to catch his attention, throwing herself at him and on him. And with all that, despite the endless wardrobe changes of Asia's Potiphar, like someone at a Pesach program, despite her changing but Pesach program appropriately dressed appropriately. I'm just saying the number of wardrobe changes like someone at a Pesach program with a child in shidduchim. That amount of wardrobe changes was the amount that Asia's Potiphar did, only she wasn't wearing appropriately, not for a Pesach program, not for anywhere or anything. And yet, despite her ruthless, perpetual promiscuous propositioning of Yosef, Yosef didn't look, he didn't touch, he didn't take, he wasn't tempted by that which was not his. It's not just that he didn't violate the avera, a feel of histakla. He would turn his eyes down, he would look away, he wouldn't even gaze, he wouldn't even give a moment of a glimpse of that which was not his. So you want the school to be saved from ayin hara, says the Shulchan Aruch Berachot? It ain't no red bendel around your wrist. That's easy. How many people wear the red bendel around the wrist, come late to shul, talk all davening, look at inappropriate things on the internet, gossip, lashon hara, have ruthless business practices, and they think, well, I spent five shekel, now my wrist is protected. No. You want to be protected from ayin hara, don't look at what's not yours. Don't look at images and ideas. Don't look at what's in someone else's driveway or pocket. Don't look at the people in their home. Don't look with jealous and envy at others. Don't look at things you shouldn't be looking at. And when we can protect what we look at, then Hashem protects us from those who might otherwise look at us. You see this with Bilam Harasha. Bilam lifted his eyes and he saw the Jewish people. Rashi says he lifted his eyes because he had my ayin hara. Bilam stood on the mountain, how was he going to bring down the Jewish people? Because he was going to bestow upon them ayin hara, the evil eye. He would look with jealousy and envy, he would invoke divine judgment. And that's one of the three qualities of Bilam, to look with an ayin ra. But when he saw that shochin shvatav, when he saw that he saw that the Jewish people, everyone in camps on their own, they're not intermingled and they're not mixed, they're protected and they're living lives of kedusha and tahara. And more than that, he saw our tents don't even face one another, so no one can give a peek. Nobody's a creep. Nobody's looking into one another's bedroom or through the window. When Bilam saw that we were a people who were careful where we look, how we gaze, how we live, then he was unsuccessful in giving his ayin hara to us. So you see from our parsha, you're looking how to be protected from ayin hara, here's how. When we're careful what we look at and how we look, then we are protected from how others want to and seek to look at us. Back to the Nasso parsha. Number two, we'll multiply like fish bekarov ha'aretz. Rashi says excuse me, like these fish who multiply and ayin hara doesn't affect them. Why are we compared to fish? Cuz the fish in the sea is covered, so too are we. But more than that, the Gemara continues. What happens to a fish that flops onto the land? A fish that finds itself on the dry land, what happens miyad? Mayson. Dies immediately. Where is its natural habitat? Where does what's the environment it needs to be in in order to live? The water. Where's our natural habitat? Where's our environment that sustains us? Torah. We need to be immersed in Torah. Just like the fish, when it goes from the sea to dry land, it'll die immediately. A yid, if it went from the sea of Torah, the sea of Talmud, and it lived in a dry land, dry, absent of Torah, we're outside of the environment we need to live, miyad mayson. Says Reb Shur, this was the appropriate bracha Yaakov was giving specifically in galus. Because the Sifsei Tzaddik says, the fish live in the sea in the water. A fish in the water, what happens when it rains? You can see it. Go to the Lago Lake. Go to the Captiva Lake. When it rains, even though the fish are already in the water, what do they do? They swim to the surface, they stick out their mouth, and they try to cap a catch a drop. They lift their face, they open their mouth, and they're trying to catch the drops of rain, even though they're in the water. And that is the way we're meant to live, that even though we're immersed in the sea of Torah and Talmud, but nevertheless, when it rains Torah, we should be so eager to collect it, we're sticking out our mouth. Where is it where? Bekarov ha'aretz. Aretz, whenever you see the word aretz, it's a hint and an allusion to the idea of artzius. What's artzius? Material, physical, the base, mundane. Even when we're living bekarov ha'aretz, we have to go to work, we have to go to the supermarket, we have to go to the mall, we have to wait online, we have to eat, we have to sleep, we're mere mortals, material and physical and engaging the limits of this world, nevertheless we can stick our head and our mouth out. Nevertheless, we could drink up every drop of Torah that's falling, Even when we're care of this brocha is given specifically in golus the care of the care of the brocha is gematria shekel care of the care of is the same numerical value as shekel also even when we have to operate and navigate around the world of lies which is exactly what this world increasingly is. It is a world of distortions and untruths. It's a world of lies. It's harder and harder to tolerate to not have our hearts be broken in living and navigating this world of lies. That's why it's a brocha to be like doggin the care of arts. Not like fish who die immediately but the fish who can live the care of hearts. They live even the care of arts even while we're living in that place we can still drink and live Torah. That's our natural habitat and environment. That's where we can still live even while we are there. As I the niza pasha. Okay pasuk yud tes same page. So what happens? Now it's time for Manashe and Ephraim to get the brocha and Yosef lines them up correctly. Manashe is the older one on the right which is the more prominent spot. Ephraim is the younger one on the left the less prominent spot. What does his father do? The old switcheroo. Switches his hands. And Yakov switches his hands. Why doesn't he switch? Where Manashe and Ephraim are standing? Why does he switch his hands? Switch where they're standing. It's a big lesson about parenting there but not for now. And he and Yosef have a difference of opinion. Yosef protests. He says respectfully but you got it wrong. Manashe's older. What does Yakov respond? I may be old but I'm not stupid. I know. I know Manashe's older. But and and Manashe's also going to be going to be he'll also be great. But his younger brother he's going to be a rabbi and a doctor. And his offspring are going to fill the nations. His offspring are going to be even greater and fill the What are they debating? I don't want to take the time now we've spoken about in the past. Cosmic debate between Yosef and Yakov about Manashe and Ephraim. Who's in the position of prominence? Who's higher? Who goes first? It's not which is more important sur mera or asei tov. Manashe is sur mera. Ephraim is Ephraim is asei tov. Which is more important to leave the bad or to start doing the good? Do we first eliminate our shortcomings and mistakes or take on more positive practice and virtuous behavior? Sur mera or asei tov what's the order? Many ways of interpreting and many ways of understanding. But says the says Shmuel bar Abba. He has a great question here. And I think frankly respectfully his question is even better than his answer but I want to pose this question to you. Yakov was in horrific pain for 22 years. Chronic pain inconsolable mourning. Why? Alienated from Yosef. Yosef disappeared. Yosef is nowhere to be found. How did that happen? What started it? Favoritism. Favoritism because Yakov favored Yosef and he gave him that coat. So now after 22 years of separation Yakov's in 17 years which were the best years of his life. Some ask how could his best years of his life be in the time and not in it's a question again for another time. The best years of his life and now he stands to potentially ruin it all again. He's about to repeat the same mistake. He favored Yosef over his brothers that's where it began it all and his 22 years of suffering. And now he's giving a brocha to Manashe and Ephraim and instead of following the natural birth order he says no no no. Ephraim he's special. He's going to be great. Manashe he's good. He's good. He's going to be accomplished. He's going to do his thing. He's good. But Ephraim? Wow. Ephraim that's my true pride and joy. Ephraim's my nachas. Ephraim wow is he going to be a is he going to be great? Says what is going on here? Didn't Yakov learn his lesson? You're not supposed to show favorites. There was an article in New York the article last week in a paper we don't say in shul in front of an or even outside of it. Someone forwarded me the article. God forbid I don't pay for it. I wouldn't give it clicks. Someone sent me the article. And the article was about research on favoritism from parents. Fascinating. You know all parents when asked by their children do you have a favorite say no? Well the research showed that most are lying. And that even if they claim and even if in their heart they don't believe they have a favorite in practice often children are treated differently and one or more might be seen as the favorite. And the article very sadly spoke about that the other child or children who perceive they're not the favorite there's a high correlation between poor mental health feelings of insecurity and worthiness struggle later in life with feeling that you were not the favorite. And what parents need to do and how to behave and how you avoid that to raise all healthy children fascinating article. But it's a real issue. It's a real thing. And here Yakov seems to head right back in that direction. How could he? Why did he? So has an answer and he says no no with Yosef it had to do with material things. You can't favor your children by giving one or some more than the others. So they never should have given Yosef the coat. But here it's not a thing. Here it's covered it's honor. And here Yakov has no choice. If Ephraim is going to be greater in Torah then Yakov has to display and demonstrate the greater the greater honor for Torah. So yeah where did Yakov learn his lesson because where did he go wrong? Don't give more things to one than the other. But to give more honor? So like I said respectfully I think his question is much better than his answer. But what's the answer? Why would Yakov repeat the mistake repeat the cycle? How could he? Why would he supposedly get it wrong again? I'm interested to hear what you have to say. Bottom page 272. I got to leave you you know with something some homework to do. So Yakov gives them the brocha that they sang lay more he so so he blessed them that they sang by you shall Israel bless saying may God make you like Ephraim and Manashe and he put Ephraim before Manashe and famously everybody asks of all the people because we do this every Friday night we give our children our grandchildren brochos. It's a very beautiful practice to have. Whether they're in front of us and today we can do it virtually every Friday around the world in Hollywood Florida in New Jersey in Jerusalem on the gift of technology with video I put my hand to the camera and screen and I give my children my grandchildren brochos every week. I get brocha no matter what age it's still wonderful to receive and we blessed to give like Ephraim and Manashe. Why not why not David why not so many of the other great leaders that we've had? Ephraim and Manashe are relatively obscure personalities. Other than blessing our children in their name how much do we even know about them? Ask the average person what do we know? So why Ephraim and Manashe this too we've discussed in the past. Maybe because they're the first generation that there's no sibling rivalry. Until now from the beginning of the creation of the world Cain and Abel Isaac and Ishmael Yakov and Esau Yosef and his brothers Manashe and Ephraim not only did they get along but even the reaction when Ephraim is favored over Manashe the older brother he doesn't say woe is me and why me and how could you and how dare you? He says okay. I agree if that's the way it's meant to be no problem. And therefore their love and mutual respect that sense of brotherhood and achdus that's the brocha we give our children. We give our children that you have no sibling rivalry. You should have no sibling rivalry. You shouldn't fight. Not my favorite with my less favorite. I'm just joking. None of you are my favorite. You're all my favorite. By the way that is the secret. When we interviewed the singer Akiva who may come back this year just dropped that here right now. Might have another concert. Akiva Turgeman the great singer in Israel who is one of and I don't want to get this wrong 11 or 12 or 13 I don't remember. I don't remember. And I asked him in the conversation the interview you could watch it behind the bema which by the way is back and better than ever. So I asked him how was it? He has very special parents which I know because Akiva's sister married my cousin. How is it your parents raised such a beautiful family incredible children and you have such a special energy to your family? He said listen to this carefully. He said my children treated each of us as if we were their only child. They had 12 I don't remember the number 13 only children. It's possible to parent that you could have 13 only children three only children seven only children. So, that's the bracha of Menashe and Efraim. Have that sibling love instead of sibling rivalry. All the same, Menashe and Efraim are the first to be raised in galus. Everyone else was raised at the feet of Yakov. Yakov at the feet of Yitzchak. Yitzchak at the feet of Avram. Where are Menashe and Efraim raised? In Mitzrayim. And they didn't lose an identity. They didn't lose an a an iota of their identity. And that's the bracha for our children who are navigating their galus to not lose an iota of their identity. Many explanations why Efraim and Menashe. Says Rav Shmuel Berenbaum. Par perek Mem ches, we're on pasuk chuf. And he says the following. Where did I lose the place? Yeah. If Efraim's going to surpass Menashe, then why give a bracha to be like Menashe? If I say 200, 100's included in 200. If I say Efraim, Menashe's included if in in Efraim. So, why also give the bracha to be like Efraim and Menashe? Says Rav Shmuel Berenbaum. Cuz everyone's different. Everyone's unique. Efraim may not objectively be as great as Menashe. But, each person has their own assignment, their own purpose, their own mission, their own mandate. To be the greatest they can for themselves. And that's the bracha we're also giving our children. Whether you're an Efraim or whether you're a Menashe. Whether you're a Menashe or whether you're an Efraim. Be the best version of yourself. Don't be the best version of someone else. Don't compete and compare or try to keep up with anyone else. Be the best version of yourself. And that's the bracha of That's the bracha of K'Menashe v'Efraim. Even Efraim should be in theory included in Menashe. That is the Tiferes Shmuel. The Divrei Yisrael. And they like the Maggid of Mezritch. Sorry, different Divrei Yisrael. The different There's a Divrei Yisrael of the Maggid of Mezritch. This is the Divrei Yisrael of Reb Yechezkel of Kuzmir. He says, "B'chol Yivarech Yisrael, lo amar bachem ela b'cha." Even though he's speaking to Menashe and Efraim multiple, he's speaking to two, he doesn't use the plural bachem, he uses the singular b'cha. B'cha. The Jewish people will bless you, the singular, even though we're going to bless to be like the plural Menashe and Efraim. Why? Because ki ish echad b'achtus. Ein hevdel mi kodem l'mi. L'ficha vayosef es Efraim lifnei Menashe. Ki Menashe lo yikaneh b'Efraim she hein shneihem echad. Menashe is not jealous of Efraim. Cuz when there's achtus, when there's unity, when there's love, when there's respect, then there isn't jealousy, there isn't envy, there isn't animosity. And therefore, we're able to all get along one with the other. The Imrei Torahs, the great Ach Moshe Shavke Rebbe, quotes from Reb Moshe Leib Sassover. The great Sassover, Reb Moshe Leib Sassover, writes, "Vayevarechem bayom hahu leimor." Another interpretation. I love this. "Vayevarechem bayom hahu leimor." "Vayevarechem b'em asher birech Yakov Avinu." What was the bracha he gave them? The bracha was "Bayom hahu." May you live every day. Don't have anxiety and worry about tomorrow. Don't get lost in the future that's not yet here. May you be blessed to live bayom hahu. "Shebirech Yakov Avinu shelo yidagu digas machar." "Vezehu vayevarechem." "Mah hu habracha? Bayom hahu." "Sheyizku l'ovdei midas habitochon sheyachshuvu rak mashumin g'l'hayom hahu." All I have to know is now. I am where I'm meant to be. Embrace your place. Live that moment. Don't fear the future. Don't worry what will be. Don't have anxiety and angst. But rather, live hayom. "Vezehu leimor." "Derak mashumin g'l'yos hayom roilo umro l'Berenbaum." "Bayom hahu leimor." Only talk about today. Okay, plan for, of course. Build a beautiful future. But without fear, without worry. Cuz Hakadosh Baruch Hu takes care of us wherever we are. And that's the same thing. "Vayishken Yisrael b'Eretz hahu leimor." "She roilo l'vakesh eiza mashumin g'l'borach al midas habitochon." That b'Eretz hahi, bayom hahu, is the idea that we can be mindful and intentional. We can be present. We can receive the gift of that moment. Lean in and be present. What was the bracha vayevarechem? Bayom hahu. The bracha we give our children, the bracha we ask him for ourselves, is to embrace the moment. To be present. To live then and not live with worry and fear about a future. And then the Torah tells us that Yakov starts to give his bracha. Perek Mem Ches, Pasuk Chuf Beis. He gives his bracha. Reuben, Shimon, and Levi, Yehuda. Perek Mem Ches, Pasuk Chuf Beis. I'm going all the way to verse 22. "Ben poras Yosef alei ayin banos Ashur." Sorry, that is not where I wanted to go. "B'charbi u'vkashti." Mem Ches, Chuf Beis. Go back. Still in the bracha before he turns to Reuben. I apologize. "V'ani nasati l'cha Shchem achas al achecha." He tells Yakov tells Yosef, "I've given you Shchem achas al achecha." One portion more than your brothers. What happened to Rav Shmuel Berenbaum's vort? That it was only covered not material things. Now, the question arises again. What's Yosef giving Ya- What's Yakov giving Yosef? I'm giving you one more than your bro- Haven't we seen this movie before? He's giving him one more than his brothers. How'd that turn out? How'd that work out? Why is he doing it again? It's a very compelling question. Why is he doing it again? I can't wait to hear your answers. And why does he have Shchem? Where is Yosef buried? Shchem. And halavai, we should protect it. And enable us to go visit Yosef Hatzadik there. Even though our cousins don't let us come. And and says Yakov, "How did I get Shchem to be able to give it to you, Yosef?" How did I get it? "B'charbi u'vkashti." With my sword and with my bow. Is that in fact how Yakov got Shchem? No. Who got Shchem? Levi and Shimon. When they attacked after their sister Dinah was violated. And they created this ruse. And they eliminated Shchem, Chamor, and Shchem. And now, Yakov, who was critical of them then, is now taking the credit now? "B'charbi u'vkashti." Put on my uniform. I took my M-16. I took my rifle. I had my knife. "B'charbi u'vkashti." With my sword and with my bow, I conquered Shchem. And Yosef, here now, I'm giving it to you. Zagt der Ashri. Quotes Onkelos, "B'tzalusi u'v'vu'si." With my tfila, with my prayer. With my heartfelt prayer. Says Yakov, "You know why we were successful? You know why we conquered Shchem? You know why we won that war? Yes. Levi and Shimon heroically were on the front lines. Yes, it was the courage of your brothers. But they wouldn't have been successful without my prayers behind them, my tfila." And why is tfila called a sword and a bow? Says the Ach Moshe Shavke according to the Rebbe of Lublin. "Sheyish l'havin l'ma nishal tfila l'keshes." "Derech hakeshes hu d'koma shemutach l'so adam yoser k'mo atzmo l'mata." "Az yoreh v'tofeis Yosef y'tzal achis Yosef l'mala." How does a bow work? The closer, the tighter you pull the string to yourself, the farther, the further the arrow will travel. The straighter, the faster, the farther the arrow will travel. What do you have to do? You have to pull the bow closer to you. Similarly, k'mo chein b'tfila. What do you have to do? You have to pull The closer the tfila is to your heart, the more authentic, the more raw, the more real it is, the closer you pull it to her, then the further, the farther, the faster, the the straighter the tfila will travel to where it's meant to go, to where it's meant to penetrate, to how it's meant to have its impact. Perek Mem Ches, Pasuk Alef. 49:1. "Vayikra Yakov el banav." Yakov calls his sons and he says, "Gather around me. I want to tell you acharis hayamim. I want to tell you what's going to happen at the end of days." Says the Ach Moshe Shavke, "We're still in the Imrei Torahs." "He'asu v'agida lachem." He quotes from the Rebbe of Ruzhin. "Ashira shir acharis hayamim." "She b'acharis hayamim hayikaru l'yos b'achtus u'v'chabrus." The word he'asu v'asifa, what does that mean? Gather and unite. I want to tell you what's going to happen acharis hayamim. Says the holy Ruzhiner, what it means is, if you want to bring about the end of days, if you want to bring Mashiach, what do you have to do? He'asu. You have to gather. You have to unite. You need achtus. Stop fighting. Stop the sinas chinam. Stop the name-calling. Stop critical. Stop condemning. Stop marginalizing. We need achtus. We need to unite. We need to find common ground. We need to care about one another. "He'asu v'agida lachem." When is it acharis hayamim? Only when he'asu. When we can gather, when we will be united, when will we when we will be one. Says Rabbi Sacks. "He'asu v'agida lachem." Yakov summons his children wishing to bless them. Gather. The two verses seem to be saying the same thing twice with one difference. These two psukim. 49:1 and 2. "He'asu v'agida lachem, hikavtsu v'shim'u." Gather so I can tell you. Gather and listen. In the first, there's a reference to what will happen at the end of days, acharis hayamim. It's missing from the second. Rashi, following Gemara, says Yakov wished to reveal what would happen in the end. But the divine presence was removed from him. He tried to foresee the future, but found he could not. "This is no minor detail," writes Rabbi Sacks. "It is a fundamental feature of Jewish spirituality. We believe we cannot predict the future when it comes to human beings. We make the future by our choices. We cannot obtain the script. The future is radically open. We do not believe the future is still written. Sorry, we do not believe that the future is written. There is no fate we cannot change, no prediction we cannot defy. We are not predestined to fail, neither are we preordained to succeed. We do not predict the future cuz we make the future by our choices, our willpower, our persistence, and our determination to survive. The proof is the Jewish people itself. First reference to Israel outside of Tanakh is engraved on I'm going to mispronounce this. The Merneptah stele inscribed around the year 1225 before the Common Era by Pharaoh Merneptah, Ramses II's successor. It reads, "Israel is laid waste. Her seed is no more." It is, in short, an obituary. Jewish people have been written off many times by their enemies, but they remain. After almost four millennia, still young and strong. That is why when Jacob wants to tell his children what will happen in the future, the divine spirit is taken away. Our children continue to surprise us as we continue to surprise others. Made in the image of Hashem, we are free. Sustained by the blessing of Hashem, we can become greater than anyone, even ourselves, could foresee. So, acharit hayamim Jacob's eyes were closed, he couldn't see the future. You know why? Says Rabbi Sacks, "Cuz we don't The future is not set. The future is not written. Our choices, our autonomy, our bechirah chofshit, we have responsibility. We're empowered, and we have responsibility to impact and influence, to shape and mold that future through the choices we make. We'll end here wishing everyone a meaningful, in addition to an easy, asara b'Tevet. Let us learn the lesson of Sinas Chinam to reverse it only to Ahavas Chinam to celebrate the Geulah Sheleimah together. May you stay happy, stay healthy, and stay holy.