"Turning Crying into Caring" Followed by Eicha

[Music] good bye there's more room in the front for men who are coming in there's still some more room over here front left the areas in the front before i begin to set the tone we're going to sing together to open up our neshamas to transition from the beauty of shabbos into the sadness of what we hear to commemorate so please join us [Music] okay oh yeah [Music] is [Music] is um [Music] me foreign [Music] is [Music] is [Music] is [Music] is [Music] foreign in a moment we'll read an echa a lilac for these i cry for these reasons for these calamities for these losses for these people for these lost moments and lost opportunities for these shattered dreams these broken hopes these dissolved relationships al-ilah for so many things ani i behave i cry and every year when we sit down to read to hear these words i move by the commentary of the ebenezer i shared with you before who the ibn ezra tells us that the ani in this sentence who is the i i am crime i am broken i'm brokenhearted it's your miyo anovi it's the great prophet year meow the author of icha who personally experienced the destruction and laments with tears all that he witnessed all that he observed all that he experienced all that he lost and he simply can cry but what about us we weren't there we never saw the basal nectars we never had this close we never had the privilege to look up from the hotel to see a magnificent edifice to see a brilliant building to see a place in a capital of miracles of justice essential place that gathered claudius all the jewish people we've never been there we've never seen it in old's glory we don't know what it means for it to be destroyed or broken so says the even ezra al-ailani the i who's crying in the echo we're about to read is not only your miyahu but it's ani it's me and it's you and it's every one of us in every generation until that building is rebuilt until the world makes sense and until the pain stops in every generation in which we continue to experience loss tragedy calamity pain that which is inexplicable and incomprehensible that which is unbearable ani you and me all of us we felt the pain we've cried the tears we've seen and we've experienced the hate because my friends tonight tomorrow they're not about the building building buildings bricks and mortar building is a building it's about what the building represented what it symbolized what it contained it's about the building being a place of where hashem's presence was intensely felt where we can go when we doubt uncertainty where we can go for clarity and confidence and calmness it's about a world in which we have a target on our chest a world in which we can be ridiculed and targeted threatened because we don't have we don't have that divine protection we don't have the base i make dash it wasn't about the building it's about what it meant and yet again here we are on the floor knocked down by another difficult year every tishva we think since last bishop of how could it be worse than the year before how could the allela and how could the list of things and people and experiences and calamities to cry for be even more devastating how could the losses be more overwhelming last year you recall we weren't gathered in a room pressed for space last year we read echo of resume yet distanced from one another we read the words we read about a city that was isolated and lonely from our own place of isolation and loneliness over the last year and a half we've lost so many people so many casualties so many who suffered an illness and even those who weren't affected by a diagnosis suffered from being apart and alone suffer from anxiety and fear and worry suffered from being distanced in this last year and a half ah you and me we cry who could have would have dreamt that a year later just when we felt we turned the corner cases begin to spike again and bunks and local camps are closing yet again just when we desperately want this this pandemic this global nightmare to be in our rearview mirror and behind us just when we want to totally come out of this here it is here it is yet again is there a greater sign of gullus than so desperately wanting to visit israel and being unable to do so so desperately needing to touch those stones to walk those streets to see to feel to hug those people that energy of eretz israel a place that when we attach ourselves to it we are changed we read this morning says why is the nahar press called the nargador why is it called a great river because the way it flows its dimensions it's water volume it's velocity what makes it gado what makes it great says rashi because it's summer clarity israel because whatever attaches itself to israel whoever and whatever is connected to eretz israel is gadol is great we so badly who've not yet been able to be back and who used to have the privilege of going on a regular basis we are not the same our lives our year is not the same our governing is not the same is there a greater reflection of the goals we're in than the fact that we continue to have sovereignty over a thriving homeland and yet it's so difficult to go back for that alone crying since last tish above me roan a place that was synonymous with joy and mysticism and miracles is now forever etched in our minds and our memories as a place of horrific tragedy of a place of terrible loss this morning's passion tells us with the incident of the spies moshe says you all approached me and rasheed quotes the safri be your boovia it was an enormous crowd huge crowd a bottleneck tragedy forty-five precious souls who went to climb a mountain of rookness of spirituality who never came down and never went home 45 souls each a world unto themselves each unique story each a distinct and singular contribution to this world each a reason to cry among them 13 children two pairs of brothers the victims donnie morris allah his grandparents are in this very room right now beloved members of our community this whole family we know well hallelujah young man the prime of his life in his gap year who had already found himself who was building himself who loved learning torah but a joy for life and a selfless devotion to his friends to his rebellion to his yeshiva previously to his community he was such a bright star with a bright future there's no question was going to change the world in which he lived that bright light was extinguished so inexplicably so suddenly that precious smile from that last picture snapped in mayron in that moment of great joy one of the young people of our community learning the same yeshiva shall him said for weeks and months after his loss he couldn't concentrate in his learning he'd look over in the basement and all he saw was that empty malcolm all he saw was that empty seat where donnie used to sit and why wasn't he there why didn't he come back why wasn't he finishing the year and coming back for a second and maybe more forty five nisham is forty five victims of merone forty five is ma mashem what hashem do you want from us what is the message what are you trying to get across or communicate how are you trying to wake us up for this is a reason to cry just 16 days later after the call installing a reba one of the most outspoken advocates of safety and security of wearing a mask and distancing of taking the threat of the pandemic seriously inaugurating a new basement a collapse of the bleachers killing three 39 year old and 23 year old a boy who had just celebrated his bar mitzvah a few weeks earlier that all of us have seen that image of the bleachers falling and collapsing it's not about the wood and the metal and the bleachers it's not about the building it's not about the basal nectar it's about the neshama's three bunisham withdrew his last year he has taken so many precious leshomas just a month later a tragedy close and near to us in south florida an image captured on video that we will never be able to erase it's hard to believe is even real condo the tower and surf side collapsed and to give you perspective on the depth of this tragedy context the building fell on the 14th of ta'amu as the building collapsed before the three weeks even began and as we sit here on the ground on tish above all of the people who had been ended have not yet been recovered or identified among the 97 victims the first cousin of one of our beloved members zav raiden and they have told me that his quasi-was known not as hayam but as haim shall shalom he was such a pursuer of peace such a positive person such an advocate who advanced harmony in his family his community with everyone he met loyal and generous friend someone all could rely on and why was khayam in his apartment why was he in the tower that fateful night because he had just come down with his daughter and son-in-law who also perished in the tragedy he had just come down to get away because of the kind of year he had had you see earlier that year after three years of battling a brain tumor his wife had passed away for three years he wheeled her down wilter everywhere he quit his full-time job to care for her he pushed her in a wheelchair down the aisle at his fourth child's wedding just three months before she passed away and only a short time after he get up for ghana for sitting shiva for his wife both of his parents both of his parents left this world because of covet ten days apart from one another haim rosenberg said shiva three times in one year for his mother his father and his wife and that every shiva he never let anyone stay he never let anyone cry he made them leave after a few minutes he didn't want anyone to feel that sadness or that pain he wanted them to be happy and so he sent them home heim loved learning you may have seen pictures of svarim that were found in the rubble of the tower and surfside those were his farm his favorite commentary on the gemara he had a tremendous amount he never questioned he had amazing faith and he told his children no matter what hashem throws our way always be for the other victims and for their families how could one not shed a tear how do you not feel the pain how do you not recognize this extraordinary hormone in our world how many more shiva emails does our show have to send out how many more people have to experience loss how many more of our members do we have to never see again among them are precious our deer are beloved who left us less than 30 days ago it's not yet hishlochen 48 years old had made such a difference in our community and in the world and one can only imagine the difference he had yet to make such a big heart and a loving spirit and a model of an authentic and real relationship with hashem such a desire and ambition to make our community and the world a better place the difference that he made the rockets yet were raining down on our brothers and sisters in israel unfortunately that's not a new story but that our brothers and sisters in new york and l.a and other parts of the country can't walk on the street with a yamaka with at the risk of being beaten up attacked that in 2021 tough shinpei aleph last week there was a rally in washington dc against anti-semitism who would have thought in today's modern world with its modern ideas the jewish people would still be fighting for our right to exist the jewish condition in the world is a reason to cry and so yet again there are so many tears and so much heartache and so much pain but now what what do we do with it these 24 hours at least until katsu's tomorrow we simply recognize it we wallow in it we lean into it we feel it we don't go on with our lives as if everything's okay or everything's normal but we're moved removed by the people and the experience and the extraordinary events that are sending us messages that are trying to wake us up that are igniting us now we cannot be callous or indifferent or go on business as usual how could we be the same after the year the year and a half that we've had how could nothing in our life be measured as different not our personality not our attitude not our kindness not our patients not our generosity in our channel charity not our total learning not our davening not our observance how could nothing be different to be the same after living through such an extraordinary time to be unchanged to be unfazed to be exactly the same that's a reason to cry that in itself is no reason to cry i was recently listening to a podcast that made what i think is a fantastic suggestion speaker said take a piece of paper in a pen and plot four quadrants and on one axis write love and hate and the other right before the pandemic and after the pandemic and fill in those four boxes what did you love before the pandemic and what did you think you hated before the pandemic and what did you learn from this year and a half that you should love and what did you learn that was worthy of hate plot it out write it down measure it hopefully it will reflect that we've learned to love every moment of life and it's precious the gift that cannot be taken for granted hopefully we learn to love our family and the time together and their gifts we've learned to love the precious memories we've learned to love the ability to congregate as a community to come together to be united to be there to care for one another we've learned to love shul we've learned to love darwining the parts we couldn't hear we've learned to love to breathe freely without our face covered together unreservedly without rules hopefully we've learned to hate to hate taking things for granted and to hate being distanced or apart from one another and to hate sweating the small stuff that don't really matter and that we often cry for no reason over we should learn to hate the return of talking to shul and to hate mahlokas and period to hate conflict and fighting division and judgment of one another tell us that was destroyed because of we all know with baseless hatred it was a baseless hatred between people it's been a trying year in those relationships in which we see people who are reacting or behaving to the pandemic to the precautions or to the vaccines differently than we are in every direction and for some of us it's tempting for that to consume the totality of the relationship to only see that part of who they are or how they're behaving or what they've done of who they voted for or the difference we have on policies or politics and for that little difference which i admit is not insignificant but doesn't have to become the totality of how we see them or who our relationship is but to see what we have in common and the other 99 of who they are to attach ourselves and to love them to feel them and to connect with them the motion green is no longer there rebbe and yeshiva lived in new york new york city and he once drove through a pothole got a flat tire he called triple a and a latino man in his mid 60s pulled up behind him got out and said hello and then he began to speak to him to this clearly observant jew and yiddish so the rebbe green said are you jewish the man said no said how do you know yiddish he said you know i was a retired nypd police officer and i was hired by the hasidim to protect the samurai title down and so i dressed like asa to blend in and listening i overlapped i heard the yiddish and i gained a lot and the rabbit laughed as rebbe laughed and he had a lot of questions about his experience in that community but then this retired policeman this a a this triple a person said to him let me ask you a question he said i heard the expression yiddish that the issue the cup means the jews have a sharp mind an astute way of thinking the perceptive so the rabbi rabbi green said yeah yeah it's an expression we have so the man looked at him and he said so let me ask you a question i understand that you've been exiled for 2000 years you've been the target of persecution systematic attempts to exterminate and that all you long is to go home back to israel back to you shalom and to have your temple rebuilt so how is it that if you have such a need of chicago how could it be that you guys are so smart that in 2000 years you haven't figured out how to get along so you can go home a simple observation but a painful question that in two thousand years we haven't figured out how to just get along so someone voted differently but their approach to vaccines are different we don't have to have an opinion about everyone and everything observing kid was drafted to the majors it's the greatest thing it's the worst thing it's the best thing it's not the best thing a reality show formally observant best why do we have to have an opinion about everything in the world if we could learn to get along we can go home but i want to suggest you this evening as we begin that maybe reminding us about not only about hatred of one another [Music] but about that quadrant of hate in our graph because what we hated before the pandemic was probably likely mostly phenom how many things did we have an intolerance for did we perseverate over how many things did we get bent out of shape about that only now we can see just don't matter they're just not that important they're just not worth hating their kingdom in the big scheme of things they're nothing there's so much to be grateful for that we take for granted and we sit here on the floor al-ilah and because as much as hashem as much as this world is causing us to look up and to take note and to see the tragedies that should remind us of how often we have gifts and blessings and we don't we just read this morning knows its owner and a donkey knows the master is giving it a shelter but yes the jewish people don't take noah my nation says god lo his bonang they're mindless and they're thoughtless and all they care about is themselves their happiness and their pleasure and as allah sure if all the points out the cause of the hurban was a lack of his boneness a thoughtlessness a mindlessness a carelessness a failure to simply note or pay attention to the gifts and to the blessings and to the good things that even an animal notices and thinks it's master for so yes we're crying for corona it should make us even more appreciative for our good health we're crying from our own it should make us even more appreciative every time there's a gathering that doesn't end in people being crushed continue to cry for stolen but we're grateful for every event where the bleachers or the stands don't collapse we continue to cry for surfside but it should only make us even more aware of what a miracle it is when any tall building stands safely and securely so yes each of these tragedies were extraordinary but so were the first responders and so were the hasella volunteers and so were the community members who stepped up and the efforts to rescue and to recover and to treat and to save lives my friends as we read either the way to turn the tears into triumph is not only to cry but to show that we care to be nice to one another so we can go home to bring redemption by taking responsibility to have a little husbandness to contemplate and to be mindful and to think what's worth hating and what's worth loving what do we take for granted and what should we say thank you for and maybe that's the gemara and tennis when you're misable when you cry for that which is worth crying about then you're zoho immediately you begin to feel grateful for that which you have and that is how we will rebuild today's it's not up to anyone around us it's not up to our neighbor can't point the finger and say i know someone that really needs to hear this a few months ago there was a person painfully upset at me they targeted me they very publicly shared a picture of me and wrote ephraim goldberg is the reason that mashiach is not here so is it kapara it's fine didn't bother me i'm eight years old my eight-year-old son came home from school one day and he said abba is it true that you're the reason is not here so i said shy where did you hear that why would you think that is that to me one of the boys in my class told me that he saw so i thought for a moment no one or nothing prepares you what you're supposed to answer i turned to my son abba is it true you are the reason she is not here and i said yes it's 100 true it's my fault because there's so much more i could do and so much better i could become and if every one of us even if we don't love the messenger or the message messaging but we accept the message that if each of us would take the personal responsibility to hate a little less and to love a little more to transform our crying into caring for one another to simply learn to live to get along then we can finally go home if it can be found in the back of the arts on page 1273 in the art school books on page twenty two um [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] um [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] a foreign um [Music] oh [Music] is [Music] is [Music] [Applause] [Music] see [Music] [Applause] [Music] no [Music] momentarily just a reminder of the schedule tomorrow morning the first two minutes 6 15 and 7 45. those chakras and keynotes with no explanations the nine o'clock minion near the grand sanctuary will be followed with an explanation and commentary on kinos by all the brs rabbis and will take us from approximately 9 30 until khatsu said approximately 1 30. francoises 127. early newcastle 2 o'clock the second one because it's 7 35. we'll share some words at 8 20 sharply in the festivals 853 there are several videos that we're showing tomorrow afternoon uh children's videos in the morning 10 30 to 12 and then several videos throughout the day you can find the complete schedule on the back page of the weekly reminder as we take leave tonight there's a prohibition of greeting one another now it's not the time you should make somebody we're feeling the pain of tisha it's not a time to agree to socialize to distract ourselves but rather we dwell on the theme of what the day is all about begin with foreign hey [Music] tomatillo foreign page 62. foreign uh foreign okay foreign yes oh um foreign [Music] um [Music] oh