There's no "IF ONLY" | Living with Emunah #366

Okay, good morning. Welcome back to Living with Amuna. So honored and grateful that you're all here. Special welcome to those who are visiting from other climates and seasons, places that have seasons. It's a wonderful to see you. Thank you for being here. Some old friends who are here. It's great to have you. Our series is generously sponsored by Dr. Zavian Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbett of Raa. My dear friend, our dear friend who was a paragon of Amuna and a memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Chanzer. We remain very very grateful to the Morgan family. Also sponsored anonymously in memory of the 30 fallen soldiers, the alumni of Bened Mina and yeshiva in Ali. An incredibly special place 30 who fell on October 7th and during the war. Each week this anonymous donors enabled us to highlight another one of those heroes. And this week we're highlighting Sergeant Major Yseph Malah Gdalia Hashem Yiko of Shalahim 22 years old when he fell in Aza on October 7th. Yseph Gda bravely and boldly fought against terrorists for several hours, saved many lives. His fellow soldiers didn't leave the battleground, but guarded him until they could bring his body back. He has survived by his parents, six siblings, and his wife. They [clears throat] had just celebrated their first anniversary when he fell in battle as Nishama Shar aliyah. He paid the ultimate price for our people. Simony morning shar is also sponsored by Elliot Amy Bagago and Nishmas's sister Alis Aliat Masada should have an aliyah by Charles Liby a member of his parents Shirley and Nathan enjoyed 72 years of marriage anonymously Maz and Amanda Spitzer on the birth of a baby girl Esther Maka should have a lot of and by my dear friends and Mishmas Mosha the grandmother ofite is the shabas who rebuilt her life with unwavering amuna after the war. Thank you to all of our generous sponsors. Okay, as always, the pile's getting thicker and thicker. The emails keep coming in. It makes my week every day emails come in. Those who are writing them, I apologize if I can't read them all out loud, but I read every single one of them. It inspires and it motivates me. I hope it has an impact to you just from the act of writing it. We can't get to them all, but we'll get to a few and then get back into our learning. But first, I have to tell you an incredible story, an incredible thing. Last week, I happened to run into a pastor that I know, an evangelical pastor who supports and stands with Israel in extraordinary ways. I wish Jews loved and demonstrated support for Israel, a fraction of what he does. Anyway, he tells me, he says, "Rabbi," he said, "A couple months ago, I was in Washington DC and I needed an Uber. So, I called an Uber and I get in the back of the Uber and I hear a voice and it's really familiar." He said, "And it's you." So I look at the screen of the Uber driver to see what is he listening to and I see he's listening to your class and I look at the Uber driver and he's a Muslim man. So I said, "What are you doing listening to Rabbi Goldberg?" So he said, "You know, this is what the Muslim Uber driver tells the pastor." He says, "You know, I listened to my imam on Spotify and his talk ended and Spotify put on this rabbi and I got hooked." [laughter] So, a pastor told me about the Muslim Uber driver in DC who's listening to. So, if you're listening, whatever your name is, thank you for being part of our community and helping all grow our faith. An incredible story. I loved it. It made my day. So, last week she was living with Amuna part number. Anyone paying attention? I certainly was not, but one of our loyal listeners was and wrote me the following. Rabbi Goldberg, did you see what you did there? Living with Amuna part 365, no warranty. I made the title of last week. Sure, no warranty. We spoke about the parts of no warranty. The knees, the hips, right? If you make it to 70, would say you lived a long life. If you're over 70 and you need some parts replaced, who are you to feel entitled? Who are you to complain? Who told you you deserve life altogether? Who told you the parts should have worked for one day? If they lasted that long, you're blessed. So, we called it no warranty. So the author of the email writes, "We leave we live 365 days a year with no guarantee, no warranty. We have the privilege to see a miracle every day. When we wake up and our feet at the ground, we could stand, hold a cup of coffee, we see the sun come up." 365 sabu 365. Living with amuna part 365, no warranties, the gift of life, no warranty on parts. Embrace every age 365. Have a beautiful day. So I didn't even notice it. That was the number and the title of the year. There are no coincidences in life even the title of a and that was it. So several weeks ago we were learning more. Hashem is my shepherd. I shall not lack. We should never lack in knowing he's our shepherd. Feel his love, his providence. Feel his support each and every day. Loar let us never be missing in knowing that hashemi. And I mentioned and I've gotten since then everyone has their Psalm 23 sighting. And so the sightings continue to come in. Hey, Rabbi Goldberg was listening to Living with a Minister today while driving. You challenged people to keep looking for reference to Psalm 23. Said to myself, I'd love to do so and I've kept my eyes peeled, but nothing leva. I was about to go to bed and came across this post while scrolling my YouTube, something I hope to get better at not doing. See attached. Although the name of the account was not a Jewish one, it's why I blocked it. It did make me chuckle to see Psalm 23. I remember nothing is a coincidence. Everything's from Hashem, even especially from the most unexpected places. Thanks for the shirm. They make giving me tremendous well making me chuckle and strive to grow and connected to Hashem. If I'm feeling up or down or anxious, the shirum help in every situation. So this is what came up on her YouTube page and it's a quote from Psalm 23. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I feel no evil. You're with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. It's from a YouTube site called Verse of the Day and the verse was from Psalm 23. Because there are no coincidences. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I'm writing this on the train on my way to Bengorian airport coming back to the States. It's always hard to leave Israel, but this is a little different. I thought I was flexing my living with amuna muscle when I got off the plane, go to baggage and realized I lost my AirPods on the plane. My earpods were where they were meant to be. I got off the train, got up the steps, and it started pouring. Except I couldn't get my Ravk app to work. So, I went back down to the train station and bought a physical card. A little wet, but all good. I met my son who's learning in Israel. It's my main reason for coming. Walked on us. We got on the bus rail. I finally had a second to check my email. I saw some alert from my bank and figured it was from my Israel purchases. They didn't recognize. I checked the merchant. I didn't recognize it. I checked my pocket and I realized no wallet. I had been pickpocketed in the holy city. Who would have thought? After the initial shak, as it was an hour left to Shabas, I needed to contact all my banks about all the different credit cards. I spoke to my wife and the two of us. She from the US and me from Israel called the banks had cards canceled. My driver's license was gone, too. But I had my passport stored separately. It was safe with me. It was pretty calm, at least under the circumstances. I kept thinking, "This is Hashem speaking to me, and this is what's meant to be." We had a beautiful Shabas. And then after Shabas, when I had to resume calling the banks, disputing more charges, I was somehow able to make the best of it. I can't thank the sheer, this community who helped me get through it. There were definitely some challenges along the way. I was able to borrow my son's debit card and sometimes even my new virtual card worked. It was an amazing trip, one I will always remember for years to come. On the way to Israel, I was sitting next to a non-Jewish young man on a group trip to visit the holy sites. When I saw his phone case, I asked him if I could take a picture. What's his phone case? [laughter] Psalm 23. Of course. So, here he is. Now, the person who wrote that email may or may not know that his wife also wrote me an email talking all about how her husband lost his wallet and ordinarily might have [laughter] I hope I'm not creating any Sha Bias problems right now, but how her husband might have it, it might have in the past ruined the trip, got him bent out of shape. I think the title of her email was, "You saved my husband's life." Because he kept saying, "My wallet is where it's meant to be. I'm going to have a great trip. It's all going to work out. We'll make the phone calls. It's all going to be fine. And my wallet is where it's meant to be." She considered it saving his life. He's a tough guy. So, he couldn't say that. He just said, you know, "Thank you. It's all good." I'm just joking. But, um, I'm happy. And it's an example. The reason I read these emails out loud, the reason I read every one of these emails to myself is it inspires and motivates me because we all have those moments. It's possible somebody who just walked in, had to drive her son this morning and got stuck traffic to school, took forever and to come back and was frustrated. She'll be late to the amunishir. And it's possible someone she's related to said to her, "Look at the decal in your windshield. What does it say?" And uh it says carpool, Torah Academy. I said, "No, no, the other decal." [laughter] Just joking. And the other decal says, "Embrace your place. You are where you're meant to be. If there's traffic, you're not meant to be here on time. You'll get here when you're meant to get here." So our wallet's where it's meant to be and our car is where it's meant to be. and where where we're meant to be. And the more we work on that, now you can't work on that in that moment. If you don't think about that and you don't focus on that and you don't meditate on that and you don't reflect on that, you don't learn that, then when you get in that place, you lose your cool only afterwards you, oh, I just blew it. But if you're working on it, then you're ready. Then your muscles and then you are ready. So we've had several Psalm 23 sightings already. We had one from somebody who was lying in bed watching YouTube and they shouldn't have. They say that and and uh someone who was on the back of the phone case of the person sitting next to the next. Dear Rav Efraim, I hope I was well with you and your family. I absolutely love starting my Wednesday listening to the that fills me the entire week. It has been my routine for almost two years now. But boy, do I have a story for you. Continuing this concept of seeing open messages from Hashem. Psalm 23 jersey Psalm 118 license plate. Now, Genesis 28:15. After picking up my daughter from middle school, driving on the highway with bumper-to-bumper traffic, we noticed on the bottom of a Genesis SUV logo. So, Genesis is a type of car and it says Genesis. The person who had this car put underneath the Genesis logo on their car a verse 28:15. So, Genesis is the name of the car. And then the person who owns the car put 28:15. So if you're stuck in traffic, you Google it. You open up. What's Genesis 28:15? And what does Hashem say? Remember, quote, this is Hashem. Remember, I am with you. I will protect you wherever you go. I'll bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised. Where's that Pak this week's para, we both internalized the message and felt the warmth of Hashem being with us. Later that night, a friend of mine who lives in your community posted the exact p on WhatsApp. It hit me in such powerful way, internalizing the message, Hashem has me, has all of us, and everything will be okay. the icing on the cake. I didn't realize at the time, but I was doing the homework with my daughter. I realized it is this week's para. So, here's someone sitting in traffic, frustrated, annoyed, wondering why they have to be there. And the car in front of them is a billboard with a message for them. Genesis 28:15. Hashem says, "I am with you. I'll protect you wherever you go. I'll bring you back." Basically, hey, RELAX. TAKE A DEEP BREATH. You are where you're meant to be. Isn't that amazing? >> Amazing. Thank you again for the inspiring my family, loved ones. Have a wonderful evening. There it is. Genesis. I love whoever owns this car that they spent whatever money to put underneath the word Genesis 28:15 so that it can include the pus as well. Next sighting, this is someone posted it on Twitter. Someone on Twitter, I've know who do who they are, posted a picture of a green pasture and wrote, "He makes me lie down in green pastures. He restores my soul." Psalm 23. And then Lance, who must listen to the Amunashir, retweeted that person's tweet and wrote, "Psalm 23 sighting for the Amunesir." So there it is. We're getting Psalm 23 sightings everywhere. Hi, Rabbi Go. I was browing a clothing site looking for something for one of my daughters and the attached shirt listing popped up. Guess I needed the reminder. I'll be listening to the Munishir tomorrow while I cook for Shabas. And what is being advertised on the website? A beautiful sweatshirt that on the back has >> Psalm 23. So it is everywhere. Hashem is we're learning. I don't know. What should we learn next? And then see the sightings where Hashem broadcasts it on the back of a cell phone case, in the back of a car, in a clothing store, on a YouTube page. It is everywhere. Okay, [clears throat] I know we got to get to learning one more or two more or 10 more. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, this is a long one and it's beautiful and powerful, but I'm going to skip down to the part again. It's uh [clears throat] ATM machine, money, things that were lost, a recovery, how we know Hashem's plan for us, how we get it back. Anyway, I'm not uh only Hashem knows what's truly right for me. As I came to this realization, I felt a sense of relief. A weight was lifted off my back. Then the doors open and a man sits next to me and opens a Bible. This person is traveling and a per open doors open. The man sits next to me and he opens a Bible. In my mind, I thought, wouldn't it be crazy if he opened to Psalm 23 the way it happened to the woman who emailed Rabbi Goldberg, and wouldn't you know it, Hashem has the best sense of humor. The man next to me opened directly, Psalm 23, and began to read. I could barely hold back laughter. I was so full of glee and delight. I see so clearly now that Hashem was waiting to send me the sign until I could figure out that I would never be able to figure out his plan. Hashem is my shepherd. I'll never I now never lack knowing that he's my shepherd. May Hashem bless you and your work, all that you did for the Jewish people. I truly be able to read this email so you know that you have strengthened my amuna from a point where I was unsure if there was a God to now knowing that Hashem alone runs the world. I'm writing this on the back of an Uber on the way to the airport. I'm sure I'll have to flex my amuna muscles as you say, but now more than ever I am prepared. I know it is always Hashem who's watching over me with deep gratitude. So, Hashem is broadcasting messages and these are cute and I'm enjoying them and keep them coming. This is fun. Let's see how long we can keep the street going. But the point is, whether it's the car in front of you, whether it's the person who sits on the plane or the train next to you, whether it's the Uber driver, keep the antenna extended. Hashem is broadcasting messages to us all the time. All the time. Okay. Here's the one about the husband who lost his wallet. Okay. And maybe we'll do one more. And back into our text and our Torah. Back into our learning. And I've continued to get more also about the email that I read about the email from before Rashashana the angry at Hashem been getting more powerful. Maybe we'll come back to those two another time. More incredibly incredibly powerful ones about this. This one I saw also very powerful. I have an amuna strategy I've started about a year ago. Whenever I'm in a situation where I feel a huge test in my amuna, I compose an email in my head to be read at the shear. This time I actually felt that my story was worthwhile to share. First of all, I love that strategy though. Meaning as you're going through something, do you say to yourself, I can lose my cool? I could get angry, resentful, bitter, or is this a future amuna email? Can this be a future amuna email? And the strategy of as I'm going through this, let me write the amuna email in my head as a way to stay calm and cool. Let go and let God embrace your place. I love that strategy. It's a great strategy. It's a great strategy. By the way, my daughter Inhalim took her daughter who was ear was hurting her to the doctor and the doctor, she wouldn't let the doctor examine her ear. So my daughter took her other daughter, my other amazing, cute, adorable granddaughter. That's not how it happened. >> Ah, they both needed appointments, but the doctor only could see one. So the doctor took in the one the one who got the appointment refused to let the doctor examine her ear. So she or the doctor said as a cute thing, look in her sister. Hey Mary, let the doctor look in your ear so that Chevba will too. So the doctor looked in her ear and found that the other sister had an ear infection that the one who was cute and let a doctor do it. So your sister will allow it. Turns out she had an ear infection too and needed the medicine also. And that was Ashka's story. And she didn't write the email even though I asked her to. But that's why I butchered [laughter] that's why I butchered the story. You just got a little glimpse into my life, my daughter's story and my editor correcting me in real time. That's welcome to my life. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, uh, so that's the Amuna strategy. I was running a Shawaton for girls in a community. It was extremely busy week. I was non-stop meeting, running programs, coordinating logistics. I came to Shawaton exhausted but excited to connect. The owner ended at 1:00 a.m. By the time I got to my host, I was ready to drop. I tried the door. It was locked. I tried every door in the house. Nothing was open. I sat on the porch, tried to recalibrate. I decided to walk to another host family where I knew the girls would be. On the way, it was so dark and the streets were so confusing. I rounded wandered for over 20 minutes. I was so angry on the walk, exhausted, confused, tired. I started talking out loud to Hashem. Why is this happening? Wasn't I trying to take care of your children? I got to the second host and tried the door locked. I banged on every window and door for over 10 minutes. Nobody heard me. I realized I only had one option left. I would have to sleep outside on the porch. I slowly walked back to the original host when I began to compose this email. I began to repeat every mantra. Put some nishima into your nishama. Breathe. Embrace your place. Let go. Let God. I assumed Hashem had planned for me and was 100% present at this Shabbaton when really his plan for me is to find his place in the darkness, in the cold, in the exhaustion. The same Hashem that was there when I was connecting with the girls is the same Hashem that for some reason I can't understand wants me to sleep on the porch. I walked back much calmer to the house, got ready for my night on the porch. I laid down on the benches, tried to stay calm, and made myself comfortable. As I was laying down, I saw one window I hadn't tried. I pushed it and it was open. I broke in and climbed into their house through a window was able to have a semi-normal night's sleep. I know that often Hashem doesn't open the window for us. But I do think that if we view life and every hard thing that happens as a way for us to reaffirm our belief in him, we will be so much calmer. We just have to view every test as a mask. It's our job to see past the mask. Find Hashem and accept his infinite vision for us is so much more expansive than our finite one that we have for ourselves. Thank you for the shar. What a story. Embrace your place even if it's sleeping on a porch. Okay, last one for today. This is my friend's story. The author writes, "I'm an only child. My father passed away years ago, and though I miss him deeply, Barakash I've since married built a beautiful family. A few days before Sukus, a FedEx envelope appeared on our front porch. I called my husband to bring it inside, assuming it was some forgotten order or routine delivery. Inside was a check, a large sum of money. We looked at each other in confusion. Who would be sending us such a thing, especially now, right before the Kag, a time that we really needed it more than ever?" And the answer was clear. It was from Hashem. Many years ago, over 40 over 40 years ago, my grandfather had loaned $50,000 to a friend. The friend never repaid it, and life moved on. My grandfather passed away. My father did too. The debt was long forgotten by everyone except the one who never forgets. On his deathbed, that old friend wanted to leave this world with a clean slate. He instructed his family to repay his outstanding debts, including the loan to his grandfather. Since my grandfather was no longer alive, they split the amount among his children. And since my father had already passed on and I'm his only child, I was the one who received his share. A debt from decades ago, a check that traveled through generations. A Yeshua time down to the moment. 40 years later, when we stood before Sukus, unsure how everything would get paid for, Hashem delivered a blessing straight to our doorstep, wrapped in an ordinary FedEx envelope, but sent from above. Hashem waits. Hashem remembers. Hashem orchestrates every detail with perfect perfect precision. And when the moment is right, the Yeshua arrives exactly, beautifully, unmistakably. 7900 Mononttoya Circle, by the way, is our address. As you see, the walls are going up. FedEx, Hashem. I don't know who owes us any money, but feel free to make good now is would be a great time. Okay, we're on the wonderful Abu page Zion 127. We're on the right hand column, the bottom paragraph. So far from the Mosha the Mosha the Mosha taught us that the when we say satisfy us from your good we used to understand it to mean give us a lot of good let us be satisfied gratified and filled with your good comes along and he says that's not what it means what it means is that's automatic we get a lot of good we have a lot of good our lives are good to we have to to we have butenu sabenu let us recognize it let us see it let us appreciate it last week I quoted my brother's father-in-law learner it wasn't from it was a ver from ze I misspoke I remembered it was from but that from which is let us receive all the blessings let us understand let us know I spoke to a group of teenage boys yesterday from a local yeshiva. So I said over my piece and I said questions questions. I love questions and answers. What questions? So a teenage boy raised his hand and he said, "How do we become wealthy? I'm just a rabb. How do we become wealthy? What should we do? What business should we start? How do I become rich? How do I become wealthy?" So I took the opportunity to answer and I said, "Listen, you have to undertake initiative. Maybe you need an education. You have to have a plan. What is it you want to do?" But I said to him, "Let me ask you a question. When you woke up this morning, did you get out of bed? Did your feet work?" "Yeah." "Are your eyes working?" "Yeah." "Did you have a roof over your head?" "Yeah." "Do you have an amazing yeshiva with Rebe who love you?" "Yeah." "Do you have a family?" "Yeah." "You have food to eat today?" "Yeah." I said, "You're already wealthy. You don't yet have money. You want to know how can I get money? A lot of money." Wealthy, you already are. Wealthy. You already are. You're not homeless. You're not an orphan. You're not abandoned. You're not hungry. You're not wearing old clothing that's tattered and don't fit. You're already wealthy. Oh, you also want a lot of money. Okay, so we could talk. I'm not sure I'm the person you want to talk to, but we can talk about what you need to do in life. And then I spoke to him actually about Hashem being the senior partner in every undertaking we do. And we need both the combination of initiative and one of the ways we're successful is we promised the senior partner that we're going to split the earnings. Then he told me, by the way, he pointed to another kid and he said, 'He, I already have a partner. [laughter] I said, 'Well, what's your partnership with that other young man? He said, 'We 50/50.' I said, 'Well, I'll tell you about the partner I'm recommending for you. He only wants 10%. He's ready to give you 90%. So, well, I already have a partner. I said, but you could take out. He doesn't mind. He said, you could have all the other partners in the world. He'll still be your partner and you can still keep 90%. He just asked for 10%. It's called Micer. Promise him you're gonna give 10%. And here's the other. He doesn't even want the 10%. He says, "Give the 10% to my other children. I don't need it. I don't want it." He says, "I'll do the business with you and [clears throat] I'm the one who's going to make it successful and without me it can't be a success and you keep 90%. And the 10% I don't even want or need. The 10% just give it to my other children." And when you promise him and you show him that you're ready to do that, he'll be your partner. You'll be successful. And please God, you'll earn money, a lot of money. You'll earn the money that he determines you need. But wealthy, wealthy, you already are. You're already a very wealthy and a very rich man. Look at your life. One of the greatest expressions, I forgot the author of it that really is powerful is nebak. In fact, I think in the original, it doesn't begin with the word nebak. It wasn't a Jewish author, but I'm throwing in neb. There are some people who are so poor that all they have is money. >> There are people so poor all they have is money. Money doesn't make you wealthy or rich. Money can do a lot of things and buy a lot of things and buy a lot of experiences and solve a lot of problems. There's nothing wrong with it. Pursue it, enjoy it, accumulate it, amass it. It's great. It's wonderful. Enjoy it. Nothing wrong with it. But don't confuse it with wealth. It's money. There are people so poor all they have is money. So that's what we This young man didn't know that he's wealthy already. He doesn't know all his faculties work. He has people around him who love him. He has a trajectory for a bright future if he's going to put in the work to go on it. He has a he's a wealthy man. He doesn't know it. Ah, he also wants money. No problem. Also work to get money. Wealthy you already are. So that's what we ask. We already have. Let us be gratified and satisfied. Let us see it. We already have. There's so many brahas. So many people I know and you know whose lives are filled with such braha and they manufacture problems. They're in the manufacturing business. They have a problem with this person and they have drama with that child and they start up with this one and they're complaining and they're miserable and they're negative. I said, "Are you out of your mind? You have so much. You have the things that other people are desperate for. You have Now that have a have a that you have it you have now be gratified and satisfied by it. Some people ask says, "What's the difference if God's salvation comes revealed or concealed?" Whether I recognize it or not, whether I'm grateful or not, whether it's revealed or whether it's hidden, but in the end of the day, it's Hashem's salvation. What does it matter? And that's why, what do we continue? What do we say next? Gratify, satisfy us from your goodness and bring us happiness and joy with your salvation. If you don't even know the salvation that happened, you don't even know the car accident you didn't get in. You don't even know the illness you did not contract that was contagious. You don't know the near miss in business. The client that you didn't land who would have landed you in prison. You don't even know the who said no to you that if it were a yes could have ended up in a divorce. How many things happen in our life that we don't even know and we don't even know the we don't even know to be happy and to be joyful. We say inal we say in the we say what do we say? What do we say? Let the nations, the non-Jews of the world, hallelujah. Hey, stay in your lane. We're Jewish. We're in a Jewish sh. You talk about the Jews. Why are we in shu saying hal at home saying hal? Why in hal all of a sudden we're talking about the non-Jews? Hashem goim. The answer is our enemies can recognize and praise Hashem in ways we can't because we don't even know how many how many nefarious evil plans of kamas andbah and theis and rashid and Ilan Omar and how many horrific plans did Hashem did hashem sabotage that we don't even know we don't even know to be grateful forem our enemies can recognize and praise Hashem in ways we can't because they know how he saved us in ways that we don't even know in ways that we don't even know. So if we didn't know about what happened, we don't know what a is that sh didn't go through. What a is we didn't get the job. What a that we just barely missed. Oh, we were delayed. We're annoyed. We came late to the do you know that that traffic you sat in the alternative would have been a horrific car crash. Do you know? We don't even know. What do I need to know? The less I know, the better. Ignorance is bliss. Why do I need to know that I had a near miss? I would just paralyze me. That would just make me nervous and anxious. And that's why it continues that purify our hearts to serve you in truth. us is because ignorance is notless. The more we know, the more we see, the more we feel Hashem's hand guiding our lives, the more connected, the more indebted, the more closely, the more intimate we feel with him, the more we feel with him. You know, if there's someone in our life, our spouse or our friend who do some does so much for us and we never know, when do we feel closer? If we know and we feel close and connected and grateful and reciprocate or we don't even know but mysteriously things get done and we have no idea. The more we know the more we can appreciate the more we can reciprocate. So when we know when we feel the salvation and we can see and we can know it's there then that purifies our heart to serve you in earnest in truth. And now we're making our way all through this. And that's what we ask show us your kindness. We should be that we can connect the dots. So many of the emails that we get, I was about to say I get, but I don't get them. Happens to be my email address they're sent to, but they're not emails to me. They're emails to we. They're emails to us. They're emails to all of us. So so many of the emails that we get are all about connecting dots. Only afterwards did that I realize that the little fender bender and then I stopped and then I figured out and then I was able to make it and then the thing got when we can connect the dots. Let us live to connect the dots of our life. Let us see the whole and the complete picture. You know, the metaphor is told. I'm going to butcher it because I didn't prepare it, but our life looks like splatches and dots and threads and it doesn't make any sense and it doesn't come together and what's the point and why? And then at the end of life, Hashem says, "Turn the canvas around." And you see on the other side, what looked like it made no sense and had no coordination was putting together a complete and a perfect and a beautiful picture. So means, let me not need to wait. Let me not need to get to the afterlife to make sense and understand how those dots connected. Show us your let me live to see and connect those dots in my life. Let us see and know and understand how it all comes, how it all works, why you did things in the way you did. Certainly, Hashem only does kindness. Hashem doesn't get resentful or bitter or angry or or or punish in that way. He loves us. Of course, he teaches us mida. But he loves us. And by definition, all that he does for us is good. Even when even when it feels like a punishment when we none of you of course because we all have perfect children here but others out there if their child misbehaves and the parent says time out parent says give me your techn technology timeout which is the worst kind of timeout for a child but timeout is the parent punishing because they don't love the child the parent is punishing because they love the child in fact the parents who never punish don't love their children very much. My children are also perfect. But in theory, if they weren't and I needed to ever give them some reinforcement, why my family, my ch my my friends, they never I see that's because your friends parents don't love them as much as I love you. I'm my friends in third grade have iPhones. Why can't I have an iPhone in third grade? You say, "I don't care. Your friends I'm not responsible for and I love them and I wish I could take responsibility, but I'm not." But the short answer is because your friends parents don't love them as much as I love you. As much as I love you. They never bought it. Now some of them are parents and now they understand it and soon they'll be saying it to their children. To their children. So it's true. If you love your child, then at times you need to give. If they run in the middle of the street and you just say, "Yay, let's go get ice cream." Instead of sometimes you need to scare, you need to frighten a child who runs in the middle of the street. And similarly, the older they get, you also need to you did that, you acted out, you disobeyed, you you crossed that line, that boundary, you need to time out physically, technology, whatever the case may be. Whatever you decide for your children is the right way to respond. Everyone has a right for their own children. That's not because you don't love your children. It's because you do. So know and understand that even when it feels like Hashem has put us in timeout, Hashem has put us in a technology timeout. Hashem has taken away what that too is out of his love for us. It doesn't feel like it. It doesn't feel like it at the time. Some of our children when they were young and we had to give reinforcement in certain directions and in those moments they were screaming, "I can't believe you. I hate you and you don't love me and why would you want me to suffer and miss it and I can't go to that thing everyone's going to." You just have to grin and bear it and absorb it and know you're doing the right thing. And later in life, you could bring it up. Better probably not to. They will. And they'll say, "Thank you so much from for making sure I didn't go to that thing. Thank you for when my friends gathered and did that activity that I didn't. Thank you. Thank you." One day we will thank him and see and know and understand that what felt like a punishment is a big thank you. So help us connect those dots because by definition all he does is good. By definition all he does is out of love for us even when it doesn't feel like it. But that's what faith is. Faith is surrender and submission to say and it's what we ask of our children. We say to our children, I don't need or expect you while you're in timeout to be waxing poetic about how much you love me. I don't need or expect it. I don't need you to feel you want to hug me and love me and write beautiful poems to me right now. But all I want you to know, my dear precious child, all I want you to know is that this is not because I hate you, it's because I love you. And I want you to have the trust and faith in me that even if you disagree with what I'm doing and even if you're angry about my doing it, know that it comes from a place of love. And that's what Hashem says to us as well. I don't expect or need you to love everything I'm doing. And I don't expect you to necessarily feel so close to me right now with it or from it. But I just want you to know that all that I do all that I do is coming from love. You know after the we read the letter from the person before a cousin of mine reached out to me and he reminded me that he had heard from his father who was a tal of the RV many years ago said this is the inus in anus. What's an oning? It's a Mishna cotton. The Mishna cotton tells us that when a person loses one of the seven immediate relatives, a mother, father, brother, sister, spouse or child, when a person loses, god forbid, one of the seven immediate relatives, the period before the death between the death and the burial is called anos. Such an individual is called an on. And an onain time of the bas could eat carbonos. Today in Onain can't eat meat or wine during the period of anos in Onain the Mishna has a makus thereus is either exempt from doing mitzvah or we pascin is forbidden from doing mitzvah. The onain the person who finds themselves in the period between death and burial of the loss of one of these seven immediate relatives is forbidden from doing a mitzvah. Forbidden. Some of you have unfortunately been in that position of being an onain and it's very peculiar for people. They describe what do you mean I'm going to eat and not make a braha? What do you mean I'm gonna wake up and not? What do you mean I'm not going to put on a talis and fill in? It's bizarre. It's bizarre. But that's the we do mitzvah when hashem says I want them and expect them. And we don't do them when he says I forbid you from doing them. Why would he say that? Why would he say that? In that moment when you ostensibly need him, you're you're reeling from loss. you're grieving in pain in that moment. Maybe you need him is when he says no no mitzvah why of salv one theory was because in that moment Hashem says I just took away someone so irreplaceable and precious to you you are in such pain I don't expect you to feel close to me right now I don't demand of you to feel close to me right now what a perspective on aness you know when that loved one is buried in the ground and when you have closure and when you can begin to grieve and heal and when you could begin to not learn to move on but to move forward then you'll come back and so right after the funeral now you're obligated in to mitzvah all over again but for that brief time it could be a few hours and it could be a day but in that period of anus hashem says you are in such pain I just took someone I just did something that you are in such pain unbearable acute pain I don't expect you to feel close to me right now and therefore Not only are you exempt, which you'd still then feel guilty if you don't do the mitzvah. I'm telling you, you can't do mitzvah. You're off the hook. Don't do it. Don't do it. No mitzvah right now because you are in such pain because of something I did. I don't expect you. It's the equivalent of the parent saying to the child, "I just took away your technology because you needed a timeout and I don't expect you to snuggle and cuddle with me right now. I don't expect you to say I love you right now. I don't expect you to write me a beautiful card and poem right now. You take the time that you need because I know you're not happy. All I ask is for you to know that it came from love, not hate. That I'm doing it because it's good, not bad. And one day you'll see it. One day you'll connect the dots of it. That said, is the theory, the thesis behind an this unusual unusual practice that the person between death and burial is not only exempt but forbidden from doing mitzvah because Hashem says, "I just took someone from you. I don't expect you to feel close to me now in this moment. So we ask Hashem, you know, do the things that we can see your hand. Show us your let us see it with the naked eye. Let us see it. Let us know it. Let us be gratified and satisfied from it and by it. Let us see. Just like that last email. I love that last email. You know, I love the emails that don't have the happy ending even more. But I love that email. I love that email because a person could have said, "Ha, what a kinky dink. Just when we needed the money, FedEx led a package with a check. Ha, what a coincidence." And I love the email because the person said, "You know who the real sender was? Hashem." Because that man on his deathbed could have forgotten about the debt. Could have forgotten about the loan. It's so many years later. He could have said, "You know, if my friend were still alive, I would have paid him back. I can't hunt down who his descendants are. And now the descendant died. I've got to hunt down who the grandchild is. That man easily could have dismissed it. Who put in his head on his deathbed to make good and pay that debt so the check would arrive and it would arrive exactly when they needed it. Who is the great mailman in the sky? Ribon Shalom, the Almighty. And I love that the author of that email knows that and sees that and it's beautiful. That's a story. That's a story. So we ask Hashem, give us more of those stories. Give us a life filled with those stories where we can connect the dots, where we can see your guiding hand, where we can feel the good. We don't have to take a leap of faith. We don't have to surrender and submit. We don't have to let go to let God. But hold give us the stories and the life in which we see your guiding hand. And with this we can also understand another [clears throat] righteous joy before God and they have bliss. What does that mean? Excuse [clears throat] me. What's the difference between and once you say that the righteous take joy before God? Take joy in their joy. Take joy before God and take joy in your joy. Someone submitted that to me as a poem. I don't know what that means. There are people who you see them how I'm fantastic. Really fantastic. You're just saying all good. Now I'm fant I have no worry. Everything's good. Everything's good. By and that person has a lot to worry about because all is good. But for the moment all's good. Everyone's healthy. I have parasa. Everything's good. So that person, how could you not be happy and joyful? That boy, that young man I spoke to, he's wealthy. If you're wealthy, how could you not be happy? There are two ways to be happy. You could be happy because you say, "Right now. [snorts] Right now, I have nothing to worry about. In this moment, I've told you before the woman in our community who blows my mind every time I say, "How are you? How's your family?" And despite having a family filled with challenging children, when I say challenges, I mean enormous challenges. She says, "Rabbi, any day that ends with the same headcount in my home as the way the day began is a good day." Can you imagine? Three complicated, difficult, diagnosed, really hard children. And her attitude is not, "Woe is me. Do you know the expense of the staff it takes to watch my children, to take care of them? Do you understand how hard?" She doesn't say that. She says any day that ends with the same headcount in my home as the way the day began it's a good day. It's a good day. So says that's one for form of one is the absence of diga. Today's a good day. Why? Because I have nothing to worry about. It's a good day. There's no doctor visit. There's no rehab. There's no therapy. There's no lab results. Today's a good day. Why? Because I have nothing to worry about. That's not really a good day. That's just not a bad day. That's just not a bad day. You know, there's a few shekel in the bank and I don't have any doctor's appointment and there's no test that needs to return and there's so no dig. It's a decent day. What we daven for this is how he tes the let us have days not only with the absence of worry. Let us have days that are filled with news that are good. News that are good news. There's a difference between today, today's a good day. Nothing bad happened. And oh, you didn't hear? My children got married. I had 17 new grandchildren. I got a promotion at work. I won the lottery. There was a FedEx package at my front door that had a check for a lot of money. There are other days. So, there are days that are just the absence of bad. And there are days that are filled with incredible good. That's what that PK means. Hashem, let my days be not only the absence of bad. Let my days be filled with the news of good with this. But we incorporated into our let the bra you're giving me be let it be with abundance means let it not be narrow. Don't be so strict like you know let it flow. Let's go. Let it rain. Hashem, let my life not only be filled with good, let me see the good. Let me measure the good. Let me register the good. Let me know the good. Let my life not only be the absence of bad, but let our lives be filled with good health, with bes and only with good. That's art. So we're all wealthy. We can find that wealth. Money maybe not. Other things that we're lacking, maybe we dive in and we desperately need. But wealthy we already are if we're willing to register everything that we already have. We'll end here and continue now with our question and answer for those live in person. a motivation for people to come hash controversial sensitive any topic if I can't answer it will any topic any topic a motivation to come in person for those listening until next time stay happy stay healthy stay holy