The War of Art by Steven Pressfield - Defeating Resistance

good evening welcome thank you so much for joining tonight as we launch what is the second year but the first installment of our series in which we take self-help productivity books contemporary lessons of today and try to communicate them and put them in a context of torah and try to be able to draw from the wisdom of our time but communicate and to place it in the context of great our timeless torah teachings so tonight i want to share with you some insights from a book that it's not an exaggeration to say changed my life i'm uh very far from a voracious reader but i try to read and i love productivity books i love business books productivity books things that help you your vision your juices flow an entrepreneurial spirit and occasionally i've read books or consumed books is probably a more accurate description that had such a deep and profound impact they caused me for several days to not be able to stop thinking about it and to rethink parts of how i want to live my life and i hope i'm not building this up too much but i'll tell you that the book we're going to talk about and draw from tonight is one such book the book is called the war of art it's a play on a earlier much more famous book from many centuries millennia ago called the art of war and the war of art is written by stephen pressfield and i want to give you a moment of introduction of who pressfield is before we tap into his wisdom and again suggest it in the context of a torah of torah teachings just to give you a sense of who pressfield is stephen pressfield did not wake up with a silver spoon in his mouth he did not discover success early he's not an individual who was prodigious so right from the start was able to break through in his own words he wrote 27 years before he got his first novel published he wrote and he wrote and he wrote again and all his writings were rejected by publishers for 27 years could you imagine dedicating yourself to something for 27 years after the first year the third year the fifth year after the first decade of being rejected you might walk away and say it's time for a career change it's not even a career change because the career never got launched to begin with but he stuck with it 27 years and he published what was a book that was produced as a movie you've probably heard of it called the legend of bagger vance during that time those 27 years he describes he worked in 21 different jobs in 11 different states he taught high school he drove tractor trailers he worked in advertising a screenwallet writer in hollywood he worked in offshore oil rigs he picked fruit as a migrant worker for one season he lived in a house that was 15 a month no water no doors and no windows at one point he was homeless and he was living in his car and why do i share that critical background about him with you because as we explore the wisdom of his book i want you to understand that this is not against somebody who was born with great success who never struggled who never knew what it meant or what it was like to have to overcome this is an individual who's speaking from very personal experience he's drawing from his own autobiography his life story and he's enabling us to tap into it and to grow from there i'll also tell you that i didn't fully appreciate this the first time i read it or shared about it but steven pressfield is a jew now he has a remarkable story as a jew again we don't have a lot of time tonight and i want to share with you mostly from his book but his parents kept from him that he was a jew until he was 13 years old they were ashamed they were embarrassed to a degree they were themselves anti-semitic self-hating jews in the classic sense and it was only at 13 years old that he discovered that he was a jew and he decided if i'm jewish i might as well explore what that means i might as well be a jew so he started going in his words to temple he found a synagogue there was none in his hometown so he hitchhiked to the next town and the reason he had to hitchhike is because his mother and father refused to drive him so embarrassed were they about their judaism and so desperately did not want him to pursue his journey of jewish discovery however and this is a tragic tragic footnote to this story however at the synagogue he felt rejected he was an outsider he couldn't afford to buy tickets he didn't speak hebrew he had never had a bar mitzvah even he was 13 years old he had never heard what hanukkah was and so instead of being welcomed with open arms and with warmth instead of being brought in he felt like he was rejected he felt like he was rejected so he gave it up and when he rediscovered his judaism was in 1967 the six-day war when israel was walking on on water walking on air and israel defeated in this record time and the whole world was looking at the jew as this powerful figure he decided that uh he had to renew his sense of judaism and he wrote a book about that six day war and its impact on his life you may have heard the book it's also an excellent book worthy of review another time stephen pressfield called the lions gate the lions gate which is the story of the six day war and it's really worth reading so with that background i want to share with you and if you email me offline i will send you these sour sheets that have the excerpts of the book that we're going to share tonight but i want to share with you the beginning of of pressfield's book i want to share with you the introduction here's what he writes listen carefully he writes most of us have two lives the life we live and the unlived life within us and between the two stands resistance that is the title the name he's going to give for the voice that self-sabotages for the obstacle the resistance that stands in our way see pressfield and who knew this from personal experience of 27 years of failure 27 years of flopping 27 years of rejection pressfield knew that there was a potential inside him someone who he was meant to be things he was meant to accomplish a difference he was meant to make and yet he kept hitting a wall it wasn't happening if you're anything like me every night i go to sleep and i say maybe i got things done today but it wasn't nearly the day i meant or wanted to have when i woke up i had dreams i had ambition i had aspirations things i was going to get done and yet the end of the day always seems to come up short you reflect at the end of a quarter you reflect at the end of the year we're an hour counting down to rosh hashanah and we're looking back on the year and we're looking back on yet another year and did we meet our goals religiously and our total learning in our appreciation of davinci in our relationships did we meet our goals in our career and our profession and our finances did we meet our goal in our health and our wellness and our well-being often if not everybody falls up sure comes up short and the question is why so pressfield gives this phenomenon a name he describes there's the life we live the reality of our daily life and there's the unlived life within us you know the unlived life within us is when you are having coffee with a close friend with a spouse with someone you trust and you confide in them about your dreams and aspirations maybe are things you don't even tell anybody but in your own mind it's a picture of who you could and are meant to be that's the unlived life inside us and the barrier that blocks between the two is what he calls resistance have you ever bought him a treadmill and let it gather dust in the attic ever quit a diet of course a yoga meditation practice have you ever bailed out in a call to embark upon a spiritual practice dedicate yourself to humanitarian calling commit your life to the service of others have you ever wanted to be a mother a doctor an advocate for the week and help us to run for office crusade for the planet planet campaign for peace to preserve the environment late at night you experience the vision of the person you might become the work you could accomplish the realized being you were meant to be as you are you a writer who doesn't write a painter who doesn't paint an entrepreneur who never starts a venture then you know what resistance is resistance he writes is the most toxic force on the planet it is the root of more unhappiness than poverty and disease resistance feeling like a failure coming up short being rejected living as underachievers of who we could or are meant to be it is the root of more unhappiness he says than poverty and disease to yield to resistance deforms our spirit it stuns us it makes us less than we are and we were born to be again he goes on and on i wish i could literally just read the whole book to you straight that would be the whole talk tonight because the book is so beautifully captures he writes i looked everywhere for the enemy and failed to see it right in front of my face you see the thing about resistance and we'll talk more about this momentarily is while we want to point and blame others if i had a different spouse if i had different parents if my teachers were different if my boss were if my rabbi were different if there were no corona if there were no this if there were no that we can blame and point fingers and cop out and rationalize but he says if we're honest we realize that that voice of resistance the enemy that which is holding us back and blocking our path it is in fact right in front of our face it's inside ourselves is that what it takes or he writes here have you heard the story woman learns she has cancer six months to live within days she quits her job resumes the dream of writing songs she gave up to raise a family the woman's friends think she's crazy sure herself has never been happier there's a postscript the woman's cancer goes into remission is that is that what it takes do we have to stare death in the face to make us stand up and confront resistance at the end of the introduction he writes look in your own heart unless i'm crazy right now a small still voice is piping up telling you as it has 10 000 times the calling that is yours and yours alone my dear friends that's what i want to talk to you about tonight what is that still small voice that is popping up that tells you as it has ten thousand times the calling that is yours and yours alone why haven't we give up why haven't we walked away and why do we still have dreams ambition and aspiration why do we still have a vision and a picture of who we could be even though resistance stands in our way and the answer is there is a still small voice that is piping up and when i first read this book the words of the navi jumped off the page to me of the col de mama dakar of that small still voice the called the mama dhaka the mufasam explain is none other than telemelo kim this is a description of the godly soul of the godly spirit that god placed inside us there is a telemelo kim there is a voice there is a presence there is the echo of the almighty that is resonating in us and resonates through us and should reverberate out to the world there is potential if we can defeat that resistance to be ambassadors and agents to be angels of the almighty to shape and mold and to repair his world it's who we are meant to be and what we are meant to accomplish there is that still small voice that called the mama dhaka that salamala came the godliness the godliness that has capability the godliness of competence the godliness that with no excuses with discipline self-regulation the godliness of time management and punctuality the godliness godliness that doesn't procrastinate the godliness that follows through and gets it done from beginning to end the godliness that we're meant to contribute to the world the cold the mamma dakka passing says in various god fashioned man from the earth to the ground he breathed into us we became animated we became alive we became we became god's partner in this world he invited us to partner with him in repairing the world in his image and according to his vision and every one of us has a unique and distinct mission and calling that no one else not the billions who came before us or the billions who will come after or the billions who live contemporaneous to us nobody else can contribute what we are meant to there's a call to mama dhaka there is a telemalo kim and the only question is whether we will allow resistance to stand in our way or whether we will express our free will of cook the first chief rabbi of israel before he ever moved to israel wrote a book called the navy adore a book called for the perplexed of the generation and in the very introduction of this book he writes the foundation of the torah shall adam never tell him if you give up on yourself if you think you're no different than an animal that there is no afterlife that you haven't been here since before time if you don't think that god speaks and breathes through you and that there's the godliness in you then you've given up on others you've given up on yourself you've given up on this world you've defeated the purpose of creation who you soda torah this is the core the source the foundation of torah sallam who is what does it mean that we have a godliness inside us what it means is that we are steadfast and we hold true to the notion that we have free will that we have choice i read about in my article this week how challenging it is to live today and to look around and to see people who are more strict and people who are too lenient and to be so filled with anxiety and discomfort and disappointment and frustration to not know what we should be doing but yet to feel judgment for what others are doing how complicated it is to be alive to second-guess the policies of institutions and organizations and schools and schools and even to second-guess ourselves how difficult it is to not have those feelings and those reactions and those responses to the people and the things and the stimuli and the nature around us and yet rafcook reminds us that we are about that we have free will that we have choice that we don't have to give other people real estate in our brain and our mind we don't have to give them the key to our reaction to our heart that we can control how they make us feel that we can still control ourselves in a world of powerlessness and in a world where increasingly we feel there are fewer things we can control we can still control and we must still control ourselves we are the bali we have to learn to overcome that voice of resistance we have to learn to regulate and to be disciplined and sovereign over ourselves so that we can be in fact god's agents and his partners to make that difference in his world so let's go through his insights again i'm going to read to you some selections i want you know this entire book you could read in one sitting maybe two it's short it's little passages but each one packs a punch and if you want meaningful topics to talk about with your family at your shabbos table over this coming yantif take a section a little selection read it and each one is so powerful so for example he writes the following this is a chapter it's two sentences we are wrong if we think we're the only ones struggling with resistance everyone who has a body experiences resistance he has a very jewish soul he doesn't even understand that he's actually communicating our timeless torah through his words this is what he says don't think that you're alone don't think that everyone else they've got it together they're not tempted to look or say or go or do the wrong thing everyone else so has it together and me i'm the only one i'm a lazy good for nothing is bum i procrastinate and i delay and i push off and i hit the snooze 400 times and i surf the web and i never get to what i'm meant to do and i don't check the things off my list and i'm the only reject in this world everyone else has it so together he says if you have a body you confront resistance for some resistance takes the form of eating and health and for others it's other temptation and desire and for others it's under achieving in the world of career for others it's under achieving academic or intellectually everyone is struggling with resistance if you have a body you've experienced resistance what do i mean he's intuited our torah because torah tells us that only an angel namely only the being who has no body is perfect has no yet sahara has no temptation has no voice of self-sabotage only the angel but to be a human being torah already tells us we were created and we were born with this voice we have these dual voices in our head we have this tension that we live with we are given this resistance in order to overcome it because it makes us so sweeter so much more beautiful we can celebrate the success in such a greater way but to be alive to have a body means to confront resistance the gemaran sukkah in daphne base tells us there are seven names to the eight sahara this yetzahara you know when we were little kids the picture painted of the eight sahara was the devil with the pitchfork sitting on one shoulder and the angels on the other shoulder and like which way are we going to turn who are we going to listen to who's going to tell us do your homework don't do your homework hide the thing sneak out do that but that's of course not the it's our atari's not external to ourselves the atahara is that internal voice the eight sahara is inside ourselves the itsahara is that alter ego that says you know yom kippur is coming up then some goddam you're gonna be fasting you could eat the ice cream you could eat the trader joe's corn chips you could eat the entire bag you know you you didn't sleep whatever so it wouldn't kill you sleep a little bit late miss minion but you deserve there's this voice it's not external to ourselves it's not a little devil on the on that you know you could say the lash mark is really the person needs to know because it's for their own good and really you're helping and you have to and you're doing a favor the eight sahara has seven voices and the sources tell us that what it means that the eight sahara has seven voices it looks like blaser in koh one of the great fathers of the muslim movement like revitalization 1837 to 1907 he writes what this gemara means the seven names of the atahara means seven methodologies of the eight sahara there's seven strategies of the atara you know that voice inside ourselves it can get us and it can sabotage us and it can compromise us in so many different ways it can do it by building us up it can do us by knocking us down it could do it by distracting us so that we are so overwhelmed and pressured we don't even notice its pernicious path there are seven ways seven strategies seven names to this yet sahara which is out to get us it's out to get us and so we have to stare we have to stare as pressfield says we shouldn't have to stare death in the face to make us stand up to resistance we should have that ability to stand up and fight it even before that line also struck me certainly as we prepare for the yom narayan and for yom kippur and for yom kippur because in kipper in many ways is a dress rehearsal for death a new kipper we wear a kettle the very garment we will be buried in and in kitta we read about the asara harugue malchus the ten martyrs and you'll kippah we recite vedu the only other time we say vidue is on a deathbed we read after the death and yom kippur we don't either drink we are alive but we are as if and not among the living all of these things resemble and they imitate they are a dress rehearsal literally the men who wear a kettle are wearing what we will be buried in it is quite literally a dress rehearsal for our deaths why why on young kipper the holiest day of the year do we spend 25 hours with a dress rehearsal for our own death and the answer is because death inspires life a person should always try to emphasize their good voice their powerful voice over their negative one and if it doesn't work go learn torah and if that doesn't work recite shema if that doesn't work think about your mortality think about mortality think about coronavirus people otherwise healthy people diagnosed struck down within a few days gone from this world how tragic and how permanent and how all the money in the world couldn't stop this virus all the money in the world couldn't invent a medicine that could heal all the money in the world couldn't insulate or protect all the money in the world couldn't stop person has to think about that day of death confront our mortality recognize just how finite how limited and temporary we are here on earth and that should inspire us to finally live that's what pressfield writes it shouldn't be that we have to think about our day of death in order to be able to start to overcome resistance in order to take it on he writes resistance cannot be seen touched heard or smelled but it can be felt we experience it as an energy field radiating for a working potential it is a repelling force it's negative its aim is to shove us away distract us prevent us from doing our work pressfield is so perfectly so eloquently and articulately so aptly describing the yate sahara what we call the sahara is exactly what he is calling resistance resistance is invisible the atari comes from the phrase the imagination the yetzer hara it is the imagination of the heart of man the imagination is the story that we tell ourselves the yetzahara is not visible we can't find it we can't point to it we can't imprison it we can't extinguish it yetzer it is we've created it within our own mind the itsahara is the result it is the consequence of our imagination our rabbis tell us that the eye sees and then the heart longs and then the eight sahara kicks in so he writes the atari is invisible and he's exactly right it's invisible it's a figment of our imagination we have imagined it and then it goes to work on us pressfield writes resistance seems to come from outside ourselves we locate it in spouses jobs bosses kids peripheral opponents as pat riley used to say when he coached los angeles lakers resistance is not a peripheral opponent resistance arises from within it is self-generated and self-perpetuated resistance is the enemy within as i said we're tempted to want to point to others and to blame others and to say if only i had a different upbringing childhood different iq athletic ability if only i had a different spouse or different children if i only had a different job if only i had lived in different communities if only i had different neighbors if only i had an inspiring rabbi if only i had then i would be resistance tries to convince us the internal resistance tries to convince us that the enemy's from without but the truth is the enemy is absolutely coming from within then it is a two weeks ago first of all qatar says it doesn't say he says when you go out to a war but with a path when you go to the war there's a war every one of us battle there's a battle every one of us face and we do it every single day and it's within ourselves it's with ourselves it should have said it's allowed because we are fighting ourselves listen to the words of the islam he writes resistance is your enemy i'm looking at some dear friends here on zoom and youtube and facebook while we learn together tonight and i want you to know your enemy is not mine and mine is not yours none of us know the inner world of the other maybe we overlap and maybe we have some common enemies maybe you also have kryptonite trader joe's corn chips maybe we overlap we have some common enemies but we have no idea the demons in each other's minds and hearts we don't know that resistance we don't know what's blocking us we don't know the insecurities we don't know the upbringing we don't know the psyche we don't know the psycho history we don't know stop comparing your competition stop comparing your attention or your journey your enemy with another it is unique to each and every one of us every one of us this is our mission that resistance that war is not with the people around us that war is with and within ourselves and only when we accept that and recognize that only when we take on that challenge and address it in that way and name it that way will we defeat it he writes pressfield the war of art he writes resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work it will purge your fabricate falsify seduce it will bully cajole resistance is protein protein it will assume any form if that's what it takes to deceive you it will reason with you like a lawyer or jam a nine millimeter in your face like a stick up man resistance has no conscience it will pledge anything to get a deal then double cross you as soon as your back is turned if you take resistance at its word you deserve everything you get resistance is always lying resistance he says is insidious it will do anything it takes that resistance has one job one job and one job only that voice of resistance the resistance in us has only one mission and that is to stop us to block us to sabotage us to corrupt us to convince us that we can't do whatever it is we want to do and i'm intentionally tonight leaving ambiguous what those missions and goals should be i leave them for you to set for yourself where do you want that breakthrough where do you want to plow right through that resistance and overcome it to come out on the other end in your relationship with others with hashem and you're darwining in your learning and your observance of halacha where is it professionally in your health and wellness i leave it to you to decide tonight we're talking in broad strokes but unless we understand these terms if we understand and name the enemy we cannot defeat it it is insidious the gemara and yuma andaf tells us such a profoundly wise gemara what insight to the human psyche the kumar is telling you if you invite if you violate navair you do something wrong and then you repeat it the first time you did it there was guilt the first time you did it there was shame the first time you did it you felt bad but by the second time the third time you do it it becomes permissible you've rationalized you've justified you've explained to yourself says the gemara that it's something that's not only not forbidden it's permissible you're allowed to and then the gemara says by the third time you've done it you've turned it into a mitzvah you've turned it into a mitzvah it's not time you said the justifiable you felt guilty you really felt bad you talked about another person but a second time you thought it was uh it was okay in this situation in this circumstance it's justified and by the third time no no this is a mitzvah to tell this thing over it's a mitzvah to communicate this essentially what the gemara tells us like pressfield described it will purge or fabricate falsify seduce bully cajole it will do whatever it needs to it will take on any form it will convince us in any way listen to this next insight he has so far he's defining the eight sahara i want to finish his definition again we're just quoting excerpts it's worth it you have to read the whole book and then i want to get to his methodology of how to defeat the resistance because if we've just named the enemy but we haven't talked about how to defeat it then we're only halfway through the battle he writes like a magnetized needle floating on a surface of oil resistance will unfailingly point to true north meaning that calling or action at most wants to stop us from doing we can use this resistance is trying to block us where we feel and sense the greatest resistance or blockage on the one end is an obstacle it's holding us back but on the other hand we can use it use it as a compass we can navigate by resistance letting it guide us to that calling or action that we must follow before all others here's the rule of thumb he writes the more important a caller action is to our soul's evolution the more resistance will feel the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it the more let me repeat that the more important a caller action is to our soul's evolution the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it the more it is towards shaping our soul the more meaningful it is to lifting us and enriching us and help us to realize who we're meant to be and why we're here the more resistance will jump up and try to block us you ever try to do something truly noble did you ever have that big idea did you ever try to take on that really ambitious project did you ever feel a real sense of fire to transform yourself that's when resistance will rise and it'll rise with a fury it'll rise to try to block us but he says so pressed so so brilliantly that we could use that resistance use that voice of resistance at a compass to guide us and here i draw your attention to apostle can tell him cuff your test the positive says your commandments make me wiser than my enemies they always stand by me is the puzzle but in fact there's a different way to understand it bianca golinski explains means from my enemy i can gain great wisdom you want to know where you have the greatest potential then identify where you have the strongest resistance if you could figure out what's holding you block in which area of your life are you confronting the strongest resistance it is the compass that will also reveal to you where your greatest potential may use that enemy from that enemy you can learn the dalai lama said the enemy is a very good teacher the enemy is a great great teacher ramir shapiro the great founder of the ishmael's poland he writes the same zeal the same passion the same enthusiasm the same energy that we use to run towards what's wrong we now know we have within us to be able to drive us to run towards what is right we have that capability we have that capacity we can go in that direction next section he writes resistance's goal is not to wound to wound or disable resistance aims to kill it targets its target is the epicenter of our being our genius our soul the unique and priceless gift we were put on earth to give and that no one else has but us resistance means business when we fight it we are in a war to the death resistance is not just trying to make you trip or stumble resistance is not trying to delay you or hold you back resistance aims to kill it's trying to take you out its target is our genius our soul the unique and priceless gift we are put on earth to give that no one has but us is that not another translation for selem elokim it is trying to take out to extinguish that selam elohim so that we don't believe in ourselves that we feel helpless and hopeless that we don't take responsibility for our own lives that we don't believe that we're capable of making change it's trying to kill it's trying to take us out the pelo yoits writes for sahara is fighting you every day and not only is it fighting you every day it is trying to kill you every day it is trying to knock you down take you out make you hopeless trying to make you stop believing in who you could be and stop believing that you can make lasting and real changes in your life do you know how resistance works pressfield writes procrastination is the most common manifestation of resistance because it's the easiest to rationalize we don't tell ourselves i'm never going to write my symphony instead we say i'm going to write my symphony i'm just going to start tomorrow you understand you know how resistance takes its form in so many of us listen resistance takes its form through procrastination why resistance doesn't say i'm never getting on the treadmill i'm never going to stop jog start jogging i'm never going to change my diet resistance doesn't say you're never going to start the daffy me you're never going to make it to dominate with a minion you're never going to understand the words of the sitter resistance doesn't say i'm never going to be more patient and slow to anger and not be envious resistance says no no you're going to be all those things just start tomorrow just start tomorrow have we not all turned our treadmills or pelotons into clothing racks have we not all at the supermarket said you know what's the point anyway the impovement are coming up i'll start the diet after yantif the whole methodology of resistance is to take the form of procrastination you see if it would attack us head-on if it would reveal itself right before our eyes we'd be able to navigate and manipulate around it but by resistance being so secretive so strategic it therefore is so sly that it seeps right into our psyche he tells us no no you're going to do all those great things you're going to achieve them you're going to change and it's going to be you let's just uh start tomorrow we'll start tomorrow and that's exactly how it works it's exactly how it works bianca oglenski hashem held the mountain over our head and he told us accept the torah and if not and all the before mask on that gemara in shabbos like they ask what do you mean shantae there will be your burial here will be your burial god held the mountain over our head he said take the torah good if not you're going to die where not there but here he's going to drop the mountain so instead of biancology no no it's called there when i get there i'll do it when i retire i'll do it in the summer when things slow down i'll do it when i have an empty nest and the kids are out of the house i'll do it shum there when that milestone happens when that day on the calendar happens when the season changes when shum there that's what i'm going to start resistance works by telling us not that you're not going to do it but let's start tomorrow we'll get there i felt very validated when i was searching after i read this book and i said wow pressfield has so articulately expressed exactly what the eight sahara is he gave it an english name i no longer translate the word yet sahara as the evil urge the evil voice yet sahara the new translation is resistance the itsahara is the resistance if you have a body of confronted resistance there's the unlived life inside us and the life we're living and between the two stands resistance it now has a name it's called resistance so i googled i was curious has anyone else made a connection between the word resistance and yet sahara and lo and behold who made that connection who did i find a man by the name of stephen pressfield pressfield himself when he rediscovered his judaism he wrote an article in his blog stephenpressfield.com and he writes in jewish mysticism the negative force that equates to resistance is called the yet sahara and kabbalistic thought the soul of shaman hebrew is a divine and entirely good force that seeks to communicate with us and the material plain to our benefit kabbalah say that above every blade of glass is an angel whispering grow grow but there's a catch between us and then shaman stands an entirely negative force the eight sahara aka resistance whose solitary aim is to block the soul from communicating with us and us from communicating with our soul that is the turning toward evil the built-in creation impulse even compulsion to self-obstruction and self-destruction and it goes on and on resistance is insidious resistance is implacable resistance is in the fatigable resistance shape shifts it lies at the symbols that aims to destroy us body and soul i felt so validated that he himself connected the two the eight sahara it's translation is resistance resistance resistance blocks us in so many other ways listen to the next section he writes if you find yourself criticizing other people you're probably doing it out of resistance when we see others beginning to live their authentic selves it drives us crazy if we've not lived out our own i love this insight listen carefully if you find that you're hypercritical if you find that you're seeing what's wrong in everyone else then really what it's likely doing it's the voice of resistance when we see others beginning to live their authentic selves it drives us crazy if we've not lived out our own individuals who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others if they speak at all it is to offer encouragement watch yourself of all the manifestations of resistance most only harm ourselves criticism and cruelty harm others as well so most of the expressions and manifestations of resistance they only block us they only hold us back they only hurt us but when resistance takes on the form the manifestation of criticism then it's cruel it harms others what a brilliant insight that people who are hypocritical are probably feeling very deficient or empty in their own right and in their own selves i put up an article today i wrote a new article and i began it with a story of a young couple that moved into a new neighborhood and the next morning while they were eating breakfast the young woman saw her neighbor hanging the laundry outside she said that laundry is not very clean she doesn't have to do the wash correctly maybe she's using the wrong soap nobody ever taught her so the husband looked on he remained silent every time her neighbor hung her wash out to dry the young woman made the same comment a month later the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and she said to her husband look she's finally learned how to wash correctly i wonder who taught her so the husband looked at his young wife and he said i got up early this morning and i cleaned our windows in other words when we look out at others and we criticize when we judge others our judgment doesn't actually say much about them the judgment says everything about us we have to clean our windows before we look through them and offer criticism and opinions about others when we criticize it's the voice of resistance really inside ourselves says be truthful with yourself be honest with yourself look in the mirror yourself before you begin to launch into criticism of others he continues resistance is fear but resistance is too coming to show itself naked in this form why because if resistance lets us see clearly that our own fear is preventing us from doing our work we may feel shame at this and shame may drive us to act in the face of fear resistance doesn't want us to do this so it brings in rationalization rationalization is resistance is spin doctor it's resistance's way of hiding the big stick behind its back instead of showing us our fear resistance prevent presents us with a series of plausible rational justifications for why we shouldn't do our work what's particularly insidious about rationalizations that resistance presents to us is that a lot of them are true they're legitimate our wife may really really be in her eighth month of pregnancy she may truth need us at home our department may really be instituting a changeover that will eat up hours of our time indeed it may make sense to put off finishing our dissertation at least until after the baby's born what resistance leaves out of course is that all this means diddly tolstoy had 13 kids when he wrote resistance takes on that form of rationalization and the reason it's effective and the reason it works is because often it's even true often it's even real it's a beautiful cliakar but we have to move along we don't have time and then he gets to the solution and that's what i really want to share with you in our last few minutes tonight before we all buckle down and get ready for another amazing episode of behind the bema resistance resistance fear rationalizations resistance and criticism resistance and procrastination resistance and our compass resistances internal resistance is invisible resistance is inside us anything with a body confronts resistance if we want to live our best life the unlived life inside us to become the life that we're living then we need to learn how to defeat resistance and when i read his description i was simply blown away listen carefully aspiring artists defeated by resistance share one trait they all think like amateurs they've not yet turned pro the moment an artist turns pro as an apocalypse the birth of his first child with one stroke everything changes i can state absolutely that the term of my life can be divided into two parts before turning pro and after to be clear when i say professional i don't mean doctors and lawyers those of the professions i mean the professional as an ideal the professional and contrast to the amateur consider the differences the amateur plays for fun the professional plays for keeps so the amateur the game is his avocation to the pro it's his vocation the amateur plays part-time the professional full-time the amateur is a weekend worry the professional is there seven days a week the word amateur comes from the latin root meaning to love the conventional interpretation is that the amateur pursues his calling out of love well the pro does it for the money but it's not the way i see it writes pressfield in my view the amateur does not love the game enough if he did he would not pursue it as a sideline distinct from his real vocation the professional loves it so much he dedicates his life to it he commits full time that's what i mean when i say turning pro resistance hates it when we turn pro the answer to overcoming resistance the method the strategy the beginning the launch to be able to overcome the resistance in our lives is to turn professional is to go pro you know with all these areas that were lackadaisical that were casual all the areas that we compromise all the areas were corrupt all the areas that we promise and we promise and we dream and there's an unlived life inside us we have an amateur attitude towards it are we serious about taking care of our health and wellness are we a professional about it do we have a nutritionist do we speak to a doctor do we have a trainer do we come up with a scheme do we hold ourselves accountable do we have a plan how are we going to learn torah and become a talmud are we going to conquer areas of total learning do we tackle dominating in a meaningful way by listening to the sitter snippets or studying the sitter on our own by really dedicating the time and disconnecting from the things that distract us are we ready to take on our relationships to be the spouse and the parent are we ready to set goals within our career and our profession are we ready to quit being amateurs and to start turning pro 27 years of failure 27 years of flopping 27 years of rejection and pressfield says you know what made the difference and now he's published countless books he's a world famous author he's broken through and you know what made the difference he was homeless living in a car when he saw himself and lived as an amateur part-time an avocation and when he turned pro is when his life turned around whatever it is we want to work on whatever it is we want to change are we amateurs or are we pros is it something we do on the side or does it define who we are is it something which is a corollary to what we do or is a part of the very core identity is a part of our very core identity i have so many different torah to share you share with you but we don't have time i'll i'll share with you so many source sheets about this that describe that the nature of torah is it's a platform for living full time are we amateur jews or professional jews what do our children see what does the almighty see when we look in the mirror what do we see about our judaism are we casual cavalier are we part-time i keep kosher at home a little less so when i eat out i darven when i remember when it's convenient i do the parts that make sense or that speak or resonate with me i'm not telling you it's all or nothing in a course of course a person needs to be in a path of growth and hashem appreciates whatever we do this is not all or nothing and has shown god forbid we are not sitting in judgment of others but looking in that mirror and evaluating ourselves if we're really willing to be honest and to confront that voice of resistance we have to ask ourselves as we head into this holiday season are we finally ready to become professional jews or are we satisfied with being amateurs is our knowledge of the parasha and the same way of where it was when we were 15 or 16 years old is our knowledge and experience of when we dove in exactly where it was when we were 18 and 19 years old is our judaism stuck in our adolescence or has it progressed has it become more sophisticated have we grown the older we've become have we turned more pro have we turned more pro this is after all what we're saying every day right now in la david says one thing i ask for you also have a case shift hashem i want to say he was a king he had to lead a government he had to be a warrior to fight wars he had to legislate david couldn't sit in god's house call you all the days of his life what did mean so david so islam rabbi explains you know what means not that i stop everything i do and i sit in the basement or shul 24 7. it means when i go to work and when i go to the gym and when i go to the supermarket wherever and whenever i am call you hashem i want to see you hello i want to feel your presence i want you to be with me i want to be inspired by our relationship i want to give you nachas i want to give you pride in me wherever and whenever it we teach our children how and when do we teach our children not all the money and tuition when we send them to school but what do they see us watch when we're at home what do we do in our spare time are we amateurs or are we professional jews when we go on vacation remember back when you could go on vacation when you go on vacation when you're able to travel do you leave god and judaism behind and at home what do we do when we fall asleep and when we wake up does judaism permeate everything about our lives are we amateur or are we finally ready to turn pro shift hashem i pour out my heart to you our mission is to be no to be opposite hashem all the time to feel close to and connected with and opposite hashem all the time it's who we are and who we're meant to be the answer the answer to overcome that voice of resistance is to finally turn professional is to turn pro in our attitude and with the time and with the trainer and with the plan to make a resolution and to hold ourselves accountable to make those changes in our lives we can all do it we can all do it i want to end last year we lost a great author a great jew hermann wolk who wrote so many uh world famous books and he had himself a very fascinating life story he had a very very interesting life story and there was an article in a jewish action magazine that told the story of a vermin woke he was raised by observant parents and much influenced by his learned grandfather from minsk but in his twenties he began working as a radio scriptwriter and drifted away from observance eventually he came under the influence of rabbi leo a young rabbi the jewish center manhattan and woke began accompanying the rabbi his daily walker in central park he wrote in 1996 piece for the jewish action we marched around the oval cinder path enjoying the air and the view of the skyscrapers we talked at length about ideas and commitments of jewish faith with world war two's approach herman woke went off to the naval academy and did an extended tour of duty in the pacific keeping up a steady correspondence to thereby young at one point rabbi young wrote to him the following and i end with listen to rabbi young's words and again it's true when it's applicable in any area of our lives that we want to overcome that voice of resistance but particularly about our judaism our relationship with hashem and with others our attitude towards torah and mitzvos wrote him quote when you come back you will have to make up your mind once and for all whether you want to travel the path of torah true judaism its responsibilities inconveniences and the possible handicaps in your career or whether you want to retain an emotional appreciation of jewish faith and an attitude of appeasement and partial conformity decide once and for all an abiding loyalty to the din torah and achieve that inner serenity which i know you are seeking and indeed herman woke did make up his mind fully re-embracing schmiersos he became a fully observant jew what i love is that herman woke died i think he was 103 years old when he died last year and do you know how old he was when he published his last book he was and 101. i don't care how old you are we're never done until it's over he published his last book he was 101 years old it's never too late to become the person you were meant to be it's never too late to live that unlived life inside us to overcome that voice of resistance to give it a name and then to turn pro on it to take it serious and to make stop telling ourselves rational lies stop rationalizing stop seeing it as invisible make a plan and set a path a strategy and take on accountability partners and measure your success with real metrics and put that voice of resistance in the rear view mirror wishing everyone a beautiful night exhibit may we succeed in overcoming the resistance in our lives to live that unlived life to our fullest to our fullest thank you for joining me please uh 10 minutes behind the bhima you can find it on our youtube channel have a great night